Reversal Chapter 5: Chapters 13 to 15, a startrek: enterprise fanfic

Aidan hadn't even bothered showing up for his shift. Instead, he and Jennifer were in his quarters.

And then she disappeared.

He swore loudly, the moment he realized she was gone. "Damn, just when it was getting good." he announced to the empty room.

=/\=

Jennifer picked up the PADD cautiously. She hadn't noticed Lili holding it earlier. And where was Lili anyway? She glanced at the writing on the PADD.

'My sweetest Lili,

I don't know if you can see this, but I'll type it anyway, just in case you can. You disappeared once before, but you came back. But this time I'm alone on your ship, and I never have been before. It feels different and very, very wrong. And maybe tomorrow we'll laugh at how scared I'm getting but right now I'm just really, really scared...'

She looked away. She threw on her uniform, grabbed the PADD and ran to the Bridge.

=/\=

Doug awoke to the sound of a general alarm. He got out into the halls, distracted, without putting the extra dagger in his boot. He was walking to the Bridge, very fast, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Travis!" he said, "Let's get to the Bridge. She needs us."

"Not so fast, Old Man," Travis had a knife in his hand. "That's the last time you make me look bad in front of her."

"Look bad? I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, c'mon. Yesterday. When we were testing the phasers? You know I was in the right position, in a perfect position. And you missed. Now she thinks I messed up."

"No, no, she doesn't think that. Like I said then, you don't have any working sensors. So how can you be so sure that conditions were perfect anyway?"

Travis mulled that over for a second. "She still thinks I messed up."

"Well, I can't help you with that," Doug said, "Didn't she say she was gonna have Targeting tested again overnight? Maybe it's all fixed."

"I, I dunno."

"Look, that alarm won't shut off until you and I get to the Bridge. So come on and like I said, maybe it's fixed. And if it isn't, I'm sure we've got a fresh crisis. Yes? C'mon."

"We're not through, Old Man," Travis resheathed his weapon.

"Didn't say we were." Together, they ran to the Bridge.

=/\=

Jennifer burst onto the Bridge. She rarely ever went there. It always felt strange. "Captain, Captain!" she called out.

"Uh, Ensign, not now. We've got systems down shipwide. And ..."

"Sir!" Jennifer insisted. "Lili's, Lili's gone. I think she's gone from the ship. And, and I have, I have this." she showed him the PADD.

"Ensign, what are you trying to show me?"

"Sir, this is a letter from him," she said.

"Might be related, sir," Malcolm said, looking up.

"Yep." Captain Archer allowed. "Delacroix, Haddon, you'll need to vacate. Hoshi, contact Dr. Phlox and Tripp Tucker and get them up here for a meeting. Ensign," he faced Jennifer, "stick around for this."

"Captain!" Hoshi said, "I have a message from Chef. Lili never showed up to cook breakfast."

"Delacroix!" Jonathan called after him. "You and Haddon, get down to the kitchen and make yourselves useful while we meet."

"Yes, sir. C'mon Deb. Let's go peel some potatoes." Delacroix said.

=/\=

Falling falling foggy falling pain dark heat cold itching.

=/\=

"Ensign, why don't you sit in my seat?" Malcolm offered, once everyone had assembled.

"Thank you, sir."

"All right." Captain Archer said, "We have multiple failures on the ship. No targeting, no outside communications, and no warp drive. Am I missing anything?"

"Impulse power seems to be fully operational. And we're still on course around the planets and moons in the system," Travis offered.

"We still have torpedoes, too, sir." Malcolm added.

"All right. Ensign, show us what you have."

"I, sir, when I got into bed last nigh-, uh, early this morning, Lili was asleep and talking so I know she was dreaming. But she didn't have her PADD in bed with her or anything. I would have noticed something as strange as that. And then this morning, when the alarm went off, I saw the PADD flashing and no Lili. And there's, uh, there's a message on the PADD."

"Do you think she left voluntarily?" Commander Tucker asked. "I mean, well, don't tell me I'm the only person who's thought of this. She's in this, I dunno what to call it..."

"Relationship." Hoshi suggested.

"I, I guess so." Tripp said, "And, well, maybe they got some way to be together and it just took out a buncha systems. Although, while I'm saying that, it sounds like magical, wishful thinking to me. It's, uh, strange the way the failures occurred, all at oh two hundred eighteen hours. This was no accidental failure stream."

"Sir, the message doesn't seem to indicate that they left together," Jenny said.

"Oh? What does it say?" Dr. Phlox asked.

"Maybe we shouldn't read it," Jenny said.

"It, it could be a love letter of some sort." Malcolm offered.

"Yes," Jenny said.

"We need to follow any lead we can get. Ensign Sato, read the letter."

=/\=

Doug shut off the alarm as soon as he and Travis had gotten onto the Bridge. "Empress! What's going on?"

"Your protégé never showed up for work last night. And now his girlfriend is missing, too."

Doug flipped a switch to send a message. Nothing. He then clicked open a personal communicator. Nothing. "How long have in-ship communications been out?"

"Since about oh two hundred eighteen hours," Hoshi said.

MacKenzie ambled in. "Well, there's one of them," Doug said.

"How do you know Crossman's gone, Old Man?" asked Aidan.

=/\=

"Ahem," Hoshi said, "Uh, sir, it feels weird reading this."

"Just read it, Ensign."

"Yes, sir.

'My sweetest Lili,

I couldn't tell you before, and it was stupid of me not to, because I wasted time. And I let my fear and my history keep me from telling you the thing that I really should have told you from the second time we were together: that you are more important to me than anyone, that you are my light and all I want is to bask in that shadow. And that means what you think it means, and it is very scary to know that I may never be able to really say it to you. I will fight waking up. I always do, and this time I will fight harder. All I can think of to tell you is to tell you it so many times that maybe you're covered for the rest of your beautiful life.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you...'

Sir, it goes on this way for pages."

"One thousand, three hundred and forty-six, to be exact." T'Pol said, looking at the version on her own PADD.

Jennifer started to weep loudly. "Ensign," Malcolm said quietly.

"Go on," Jonathan said to Hoshi. "Skip that, see if there's something at the end."

"Okay. Yes, here it is.

'It is almost time to wake up, I can tell. And if I could sleep and wait for you, I would. I know you wanted to be equal, but I am your faithful and loving servant. And I will never stop looking for you.

Forever,

Douglas'."

"No, no!" Jennifer said, between sobs. "Lili is, is, she's dead. Or at least she might be. And if she's not, I almost wish I was. Because none of us should have ever opened this. It's not, it wasn't ours in the first place!" Her voice got louder and higher as she choked out the words. "It was private. It was theirs. And now we've, we've spoiled it!"

"Jennifer," Malcolm said very quietly and offered her his handkerchief, which she took.

"We had to know." Tripp said, "At least it doesn't look like Hayes was complicit."

Hoshi looked up, eyes shining. "It feels like we just violated her."

"Look, let's adjourn," Jonathan said.

Tripp said, "Crossman, take the rest of the day off."

"I'll, I'll escort the Ensign back to her quarters." Malcolm volunteered.

"Yes, uh, let me go, too," Hoshi said, "I kind of, I need some air." The three of them left.

"I'll do what I can to get communications back on line. I take it that's top priority. See if there's some request for a ransom or whatever." Tripp said.

"Some sort of an explanation is definitely in order." Archer said, "And let's do something where we're not trampling all over someone's private life."

=/\=

Falling falling foggy falling pain dark heat cold itching.

=/\=

Doug was out in the halls. Lunchtime. Ugh. At least it was a break from the endless bickering about who was supposed to be on duty, and what they were going to do about Jennifer. The Empress favored a quick strike, but everything was still down. And not being able to communicate within the ship was becoming exceptionally inconvenient.

He heard his name being called. It was the Empress.

"Something I can do for you?"

"Nothing much more than you normally do," she said, smiling at him. "You keep a cool head, I like that."

"Makes no sense to me to dole out punishments until after we get Crossman back. Take advantage of people's talents while they're still peaking."

"Peaking. Good choice of words." The Empress was close, very, very close.

"Empress, is there something else you wish to discuss?"

"Yes. You may have heard. I am looking for a little brother for Jun."

"Oh."

"And that little brother needs a father."

"How about Tr-Travis?" Doug asked.

Hoshi smiled. "No. Maybe some other time. I am right now looking for someone a little more, uh, seasoned." she ran a finger down the front of his uniform, to just above the belt.

"What about Jun's father?"

"Oh, him? He's dead. Daniels. What an idiot, always babbling on and on about future this, timeline that. Plus, even if he was alive, I'd still pick someone else."

"Some, uh, special reason?" Doug fought to concentrate but she was awfully close and was beginning to touch him.

"All of my children are going to have different fathers. They'll have different factions and when the time is right, they'll combat for succession. No sense in giving them anything to get sentimental about, other than the basic blood tie to me. I'm going to have lots of them. And they need good bloodlines."

"Like a, like a bull?" he asked, voice rising.

"Yes." she grinned. "Castrate or kill the rejects, of course. My, oh my, Old Man. If I'd known you were still capable, I'd have done this sooner."

"Uhhhh."

"No need to speak."

"Um, uh, Empress, what about, uh, uh, Tucker?"

"Tripp Tucker?" she laughed. "It probably glows in the dark, assuming it hasn't fallen off by now. Still, if it does glow that would make for a very interesting game of 'Hide the –'. Oh, Old Man. Responsive and everything. I bet you have some bullets left."

"Empress, I, uh, I can't, uh, perform the way I used to," Doug lied.

"I'll see about that." she said.

He stood perfectly still, at attention, glancing around the hallway which was fortunately empty. He dug his short fingernails into the palms of his hands. This was so not what he wanted to have happening. He thought of Lili for a second, and that made it harder for him to maintain his composure. Then he realized that both the Empress and Jennifer were different from Lili when it came to this. He felt guilty for comparing them, and that made him find his voice again.

"Em-press. I. Don't. Think. We." he spoke slowly and deliberately, getting the words out with difficulty as if he were dictating to history's most incompetent secretary. "Should. Be. Doing. This."

"Oh?" The Empress inquired.

"N-no. I, I value our, our current situation. It. Is. Important. To. Me. That. You. Trust. Me. You won't. Trust. Me. After this."

She said, "You're right. Your value is in me knowing you're not trying to get into my pants."

"Y-yes, Empress." he covered himself. "I, uh, I've sweated my uni. Let me, um, shower and change. Be back at the Bridge in less than half an hour."

"Permission granted. Oh, and you passed the test." she waved him off and glared at a few people in the hallways who had been watching.

=/\=

"Jennifer," Hoshi said as the three of them walked, "I don't want to leave it like that."

"Neither do I," Malcolm said.

"But what can be done?" Jenny asked. "The Captain said all the communications were down."

"Uh, maybe there's one channel," Hoshi said, indicating the PADD.

"Maybe he can find her. He's in a dream. Perhaps he can defy gravity and other physical laws." Malcolm posited.

"So what do you think we can do?" Jenny asked.

=/\=

Doug was in pain. That kind of overstimulus, without release, was downright torture. He stripped and got in the shower and grabbed at himself.

After spending time trying so hard not to react in any way, it was exceptionally difficult to do the opposite. He thought of Lili. That made it happen for him. He whispered while the water ran, "I hope that's the last time I have to do that without you."

Doug returned to the Bridge.

Hoshi and MacKenzie were still bickering. Tucker was pacing.

"At least we took out that city before the systems all shut down," Hoshi said.

"Who, um, who fired? I was asleep, and Mac here was, uh, what were you doing, Mac?"

"I think it's more who he was doing," Hoshi said.

"Be that as it may," Doug said, "Tucker, did you run the Tactical station?" There was some evidence on there of him looking up Lili's counterpart's record. He really didn't want that to become public knowledge.

"Nope. It was Cutler."

"The babysitter?" asked Hoshi. She was incredulous.

"The very same."

"Don't tell me she left Jun alone. I'll take it outta her hide." Hoshi vowed.

"No, no, she brought the kid with her. He wasn't sleeping well and she was bored. She put him down to sleep on the Ready Room cot and he was out like a light. Nothing better to do, so she and I played with the targeting array. And, uh, other things." Tucker said, smiling a little.

Doug looked over the controls. It just looked like the phasers had been recalibrated and aimed, then fired a few times. Nothing else appeared to be disturbed. "Everything appears to be in order, Empress."

"Hmm. I'd say the babysitter did a good job," Hoshi said, "Oh, and MacKenzie? You'd better watch your back, before you end up as the babysitter." she laughed and waved him away. "Dismissed. Get some sleep and be here for your shift tonight or that won't be such a funny joke."

"Uh, yes, Empress," Aidan said, departing quickly.

=/\=

"Are you ready?" Chawev asked the young woman next to him.

"Yes, of course. What about them?" she indicated Treve, a teenaged girl and a small boy.

Chawev knelt down to talk to the little boy. "Chelben, your Mommy is awake now. We are going to go in and see her. She won't know who you are, but don't be afraid. Polloria here will hold your hand."

"I wanna hold Yimar's hand!" the boy said, clinging to his sister.

"Well, I tried." Chawev said, straightening up.

"Everyone, remember," Polloria said, "any words you say to her, she'll pick up on. So choose carefully and don't say much. In fact, just let your father and I do all the talking, all right?"

=/\=

Jennifer sat on Lili's bed. The mattress was a little harder on the left. Strange. "How the heck do you sleep on this thing?" she asked the empty room. She thought of Frank. "I know I'd miss you terribly. I already do, and I can actually get to you." she whispered. She clutched the PADD in her hands but, despite herself, she ended up dozing off.

=/\=

The room was white, whiter than white, blinding and glaring. But the woman in the bed didn't know that or, rather, registered the color but did not know its name or even the word color. Five figures came into the room.

"Oh, you're awake!" one of them said.

"Oh oh oh oh." the woman replied. Nothing else.

"The words you are looking for," said another, shorter figure, "are 'who am I? Where am I? And, who are all of you?'"

"Who?"

"Yes, who," said the first figure. "I am Chawev. And these, these are your children. Treve here is the oldest. He is nearly twenty. Yimar is fourteen. And little Chelben is four. And this is Polloria. She is, uh, a family friend."

"Who?" asked the woman.

"Oh, yes, you." Chawev said, "You are Yipran, the High Priestess of Lo. And you are my wife."

=/\=

There was someone in Lili's bed. Didn't smell like Lili, but Doug was encouraged. And the fact that he could smell at all told him: this is one of the vivid dreams-that-aren't-really-dreams. He reached out to that person, and his hand made contact with long curly hair. Lili's was straight. He shook his head and pulled his hand back, recognizing the body that belonged to the hair. "Jennifer!" he called out. "What the hell are you doing in my dream? I thought I told you to get out!"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Jenny responded. "I'm, I'm Lili's roommate. And I'm really worried about her. And you, you must be Doug."

"Yes, uh, okay, you're from Lili's side of the pond," Doug said. Strange that he should be dreaming this way and talking to someone other than Lili. "I, um, I'm sorry. I think I pulled your hair a little."

"No, you thought I was her."

"I was hoping, but you don't smell like her," he said.

"Look, Doug, I don't know how these dreams normally go. Or, rather, I guess I know a little," Jenny said, "So forgive me if I'm not too good at explaining anything or if I tell you things you already know."

"Understood," he said, "Is she all right? That's all that matters."

"I, I don't know. She's, she's just gone. And we can't communicate outside of the ship so we can't even figure out if someone has her."

"I was, uh, concerned about that." he admitted. "We have, uh, there's someone missing on this end, too."

"Oh?"

"Your counterpart."

"Huh, interesting," Jenny said, "We, um, I gotta confess. We read the letter. Had to, um, had to make sure you weren't the one who'd taken her."

Doug swallowed hard. "That was, uh, it was pretty private." He paused. "I guess at least you know it wasn't me."

"No, no, of course not. Hoshi, um, her and Malcolm's idea, it was for us to write on the PADD, see if you could read it and write back. We figured that might be a way for us to talk. I, I didn't mean to fall asleep here. This bed isn't even very comfortable. It's weird for me to be here. I feel like I'm really intruding."

"You're still young," he said, "When you get older, a hard mattress is better for your back. Still, I am thinking there is something important about the bed."

"There must be," Jenny said, "So if I, uh, if we write to you and leave the PADD here on the bed, you can get it?"

"Only one way to test that out," Doug said, "You'll need to wake up."

"How do I do that?" Jenny asked. "I mean, we're talking and I feel fully conscious but I know I'm asleep. I suppose I could scream in this state and not wake up. I know, um, Lili sometimes does," Jenny reddened more than usual.

Doug smiled. "I'm sorry if we've ever woken you up. Look, um, maybe you can wake yourself up. You know how like, sometimes, if you're having a nightmare, you can just tell yourself it's not real and break the spell? Try something like that."

"Uh, okay. And Doug?"

"Yes?"

"We're on your side."

"Thanks, Jennifer."

=/\=

"How are you feeling, Yipran?" asked a new person in the room. "I am Dr. Baden. You have been asleep for about five years. It's natural to feel bewildered."

"F-five?" the woman in the bed looked down.

"M-mother," said Treve, "your, your arms look like that because you've gotten, gotten older. See how mine are all silver? And Yimar and Chelben's are, too. But Polloria has some white spots and then Father has a lot of patterns like you do. Same with the hair. See how you have hair, and Father does? And Polloria has a little but no one else does? That's another sign of, of aging."

Polloria glared a little at him and then relaxed. "Your legs look all patterned like that, too. Take a look." she pulled back the sheet covering the woman and, sure enough, the legs were also endowed with a complicated Byzantine scrollwork pattern.

"Older?" asked the woman.

"By five years," Polloria said.

"Yipran, you were pregnant with Chelben when you fell ill. He was delivered right here in this room, over four years ago. Come here, Chelben." Chawev beckoned to the youngster, who didn't want to leave Yimar's side. "Come, Chelben, and kiss your mother."

"She's not my mother." Chelben complained, and hid behind Yimar.

=/\=

Jennifer disappeared, but Doug's dream did not end. He sat there on the dream bed and held the PADD in his hand. "I guess it works," he said. He clicked to open the first note.

'Hayes,

If this works, and we can communicate this way, I hope you will work with us to get the Ensign back as quickly as possible. I cannot promise any incentive other than her safe return. From what I remember of your counterpart, I believe he'd be more than up for this, at least as a challenge. Let us know.

– M. Reed'

"Ha, Malcolm, all business," Doug smiled. "Well, the only payment I want is to be with her again." He opened the second note.

'Major Hayes,

I'm sorry we read your letter. We were hoping you could get onto a Calafan ship or planet or moon. Since you're in a dream, maybe you can make that happen. When I was having bad dreams after being kidnapped by the Xindi, Dr. Phlox told me how to do something called Directed Dreaming, where you push your dream into a particular direction. Let me know if you're not sure how to do that. Thanks for helping. I hope we get her back soon.

– Hoshi Sato'

"Much nicer than your counterpart," Doug said, "Okay, let's see what you have to say, Jennifer."

'Hi,

I don't really know what to write. I'm just really worried. I think if we all put our heads together, we can figure this out. Everybody misses her.

Your friend,

Jennifer Crossman'

"This is almost quaint," Doug said, "Let's see." He began to type, much slower than the previous evening. When he was done, he laid back on the dream bed and inhaled Lili's scent, still there. "Come back come back come back" he whispered as he awoke.

But it wasn't quite time to get up.

He rolled over once, no PADD in hand this time.

Directed dreaming, he thought. "I could try that," he said softly to the darkness.

It was a white room. Whiter than white. Blinding. Not even like a white star, for hot, white stars are bluish.

There was no blue. It was unrelenting whiteness. The essence of white.

He sniffed the air.

There was a scent. Another dream-that-is-more-than-a-dream, Doug thought.

But the odor was acrid, and was making his eyes tear.

"Where are you?" he called. "Where are you? Where are you?"

For the last piece of the dream, he typed a little more on the PADD, but it was getting foggy and fading from view.

This time, when he awoke, he could not get back to sleep no matter how hard he tried.

=/\=

"That alien is dangerous." Yimar complained, just outside the room.

"Where is Mommy?" asked Chelben.

"She's, uh, um, sleeping."

There was a crash in the other room.

"Chelben! Stay here! Father, I'm coming!" Yimar cried out, leaving the child and running into the room.

=/\=

Doug pulled on sweatpants and went over to the ship's gym. He hadn't been there in a while. Despite the early hour, Crewman Cutler was there with Jun. "Here, now," she said to the child, "you play with this. Hit it really, really hard," she said, bringing down a speed bag to his height that was almost as big as he was.

She straightened up and nodded slightly.

Doug went over to the free weights. He was bent over to grab a larger barbell when he heard voices behind him.

"C'mon!" said the male voice. "It's not like you've got any other offers."

"No. I gotta watch the kid. And I already got a man."

"An imaginary one? You won't get any other offers." the man teased.

Doug turned around. "Delacroix," he said calmly, "she's not interested."

"You really expect me to believe that?" Delacroix asked. "You and I both know the only reason any of the women come to the gym is when they're lookin' for some action. And I'm just the right fella to give ya some, eh Cutler?" he got up in her face even though he was shorter than she was.

She turned her face away. "Oh, and the black eye? It is one serious turn-on." Delacroix added. "I could give you a matching one, ya know."

Cutler bent over. "Jun! Stop playing with that, it's time to go."

"Nuh!" yelled Jun. He was having too much fun hitting stuff.

"C'mon!" Delacroix grinned, grabbing her.

"Crewman!" Doug said, "Leave her alone."

"Oh? And whaddaya gonna do about it, Old Man?" He straightened up but was still considerably shorter than Doug.

"I don't fight children," Doug spat out, turning away and giving Cutler a quick look.

He wasn't braced when Delacroix hit him hard, straight in the gut, and couldn't help but to react. He reeled back, a little surprised.

"You really are slipping." Delacroix said, laughing.

Doug shook his head to shake off the cobwebs and uppercutted Delacroix to the chin. The smaller man fell onto an exercise mat.

Doug turned to Cutler. His stomach hurt something fierce but he knew it wasn't a bad injury. "Your man should be doing this."

"Yeah, but he's on shift."

"He owes me one," Doug said.

"I, I know. Look, can we go?"

"Sure. Come on, Jun," Doug said. Delacroix was stirring a bit and he didn't want to risk a repeat.

They walked in the hall, leaving Delacroix back at the gym.

"Um, thank you." Cutler said, "You've, uh, I guess you had owed me and now you, you don't anymore."

"How did you figure I owed you?"

"The other night. The targeting array was fine. And all the Empress wanted was for that city to be taken down. And I did it for you. So you owed me for that."

"Yeah, uh, a little, I guess," Doug said, "Huh, no breakfast for me today."

"You're probably better off. Well, this is where I go." they were at the door to the Empress's quarters. "Uh, can I ask a favor?"

"I dunno."

She dropped her voice to a barely audible whisper. "I, I want to work in Tactical."

"I know you do – and your talents are being wasted here," Doug indicated Jun, who was smacking the door with his palm to try to get it to open faster. "But, um, I'd need her approval. And I'm not so sure I could ever get it."

"Yeah. It was a thought." Cutler looked down.

"Hmmm. If the time and place were right, I might be able to put in a good word. But no promises."

"I hate promises." Cutler said, "Always making you think something's really gonna happen, and it never does."

=/\=

"Where are you? Where are you?" asked the woman in the white room.

"First coherent sentence so far," Polloria said. She walked out of the room with Yimar. "See how it works?" she said to the girl as soon as the door was shut behind them. "The brain was targeted in a very specific way. So if you tell the alien a word, she'll understand it and know it. But if you don't, it's as if she's never heard of it."

"Can the same kind of thing happen to a Calafan?" asked Yimar.

"Of course not. It only happens to them because they're inferior. All species are inferior to Calafans," Polloria said decisively.

"Treve says they're not."

"Treve is an idealist," Polloria said, "When he gets older, like your father, he'll see the light. Of, of Lo."

"Yes."

=/\=

"Father, are you all right?" Yimar burst in to a room that was all red. There was a gouge in the wall and a piece of equipment on the floor nearby.

"Fortunately, I was able to duck in time. Polloria, let's go outside the room and talk. Yimar, stay here a moment."

"But, Dad! What if she throws another drug delivery tube?"

"We'll be right outside. And I'll call Dr. Baden. Just, just be aware."

=/\=

Hours later, Cutler looked up when the door chimed. "Uh, come in, I guess."

It was Tripp Tucker. "I, uh, I got done with work early."

"Yeah," she said, kissing him. "You should know, Jun's awake, he's over there." Jun was staring at an on-screen entertainment of some sort.

"Got it. So, um, how are you doing? Shiner gettin' better?"

"A bit, see? But that side still hurts. Can't eat or smile on the left side of my mouth."

"So I'll just kiss you on the other side, then." He did so.

"Charles, why are you being this way?"

"What way?"

"Well, it's not like last time."

"Last time was a good five years ago."

"I know. But, I mean, you're being nice. And you're almost gentle, even."

Tripp was quiet for a while. Cutler cringed, waiting for another shoe to drop.

"Beth, I'm dying."

"Yeah. I, I know."

"And so you shouldn't get involved with a guy like me. I'm liable to go while we're doing it."

"I don't care."

"You, uh, you need to understand. My guts feel like they're made of tar and my lungs feel like they're filled with ashes."

"Not everything is affected." Beth said, smiling.

"Oh, that's affected, too. I can't, uh, can't do it too often."

"Well I can't, either. It's not like I can get away too much. If the Empress found you here, she'd have a fit."

"Still, I'm a bad risk for ya."

"Lemme tell you something. I am the lowest-ranking pers – , no, creature on this ship. Even Dr. Morgan's lab animals are treated better than I am. Everyone feels they can take a shot at me, and they sometimes do. Jun does it all the time. And this morning at the gym, if the Old Man wasn't there, Delacroix would've, well, he ..."

"You went to the gym?"

"Yeah."

"You sick of me already?"

"No. I had to take Jun for conditioning training. I was not there to look for, for another man. Not that anyone would've been interested anyway."

"I should have protected you. That's, uh, you should stay in, mostly. Safer that way."

"Are you, uh, are you a little concerned about my welfare, Charles?" She came closer and kissed him. "Ow."

"Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to press on the left side there."

"Did you just apologize to me?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess I did."

"We are a pair," she said, "Both falling apart."

"Come back to the Bridge again tonight."

"I can't always get away," she said.

"I know. But we'll do the same thing. You bring the kid, and put him in the Ready Room, on the cot."

"Charles! I get the feeling we won't always be able to do it in the Captain's chair! Think of all the people who are on the Bridge."

"Well, it's pretty quiet at oh three hundred hours, Beth."

"I'll try not to be late."

The next time he kissed her, he made sure it was away from the swollen left side of her face. And it didn't hurt much at all.

=/\=

"Don't, don't try that again," Yimar said to the woman in the red room.

"Try that again." the woman parroted, reaching for another drug delivery tube to throw.