The door jammed and Anna sighed. She shoved her shoulder against it and tried the key again. Her flat palm slammed on the wood and she shoved but it stayed closed.

"Mind if I try?" Anna turned, hand to her mouth, when she saw John standing there. "I could be of some assistance."

"John?"

He stepped around her and tried the door. "Stubborn bugger isn't it?"

"It's the wood, warping with the humidity."

"It is unbearably hot outside so I could see that being a problem." John shoved again before arranging his stance. "I'm afraid I'll break it."

"They're sturdier than they look." She nodded at it, "Go ahead and give it a shove."

John put his shoulder into it and knocked the door loose of the frame. It groaned slightly but finally swung inward and he stepped away from it, handing her the key from the lock. "Yours, I believe."

"Thank you." She shuffled in place, "What are you doing here John?"

"I was hoping I could to talk to you." He glanced down at his shoes a moment, "And I guess I didn't realize you might have a class or plans or something and I-"

"I've got a few minutes I could spare you." Anna opened her hand toward the office. "Please?"

He smiled and hurried inside. Anna took a deep breath, hoping to steady herself, and followed him. With a nudge she put the door mostly back in place but left it slightly ajar so they would not be trapped. The heat of the office hit her in the face and she picked at her shirt when it immediately stuck to her body with the sweat beading down her back.

Popping a window open she clicked both of the old, stuttering fans to circulate over the room before pointing John to his chair. He only took the edge, clasping and unclasping his hands repeatedly as if he needed the movement to steady himself. She rolled her chair toward her desk to give herself the support of the wood under her before she spoke.

"How've you been John?"

"I've been alright." He tried to smile but she caught how his eyes did not crinkle, only fizzled instead of sparkled. "Took me more legal leg work than I imagined and more hours than I thought there were in a year but I finally got Vera away from it all."

"Did you?" Anna made a sound in her throat, "And you couldn't have dropped me an email or a text to that effect in the year you've been gone?"

John's mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally found the words he needed. "It was part of the agreement."

"What?"

"My solicitors and hers established that I couldn't contact anyone in Downton while they debated over the plans for the town. It was considered false hope and since they took all that bloody time to even decide if we would even push forward with the plans I couldn't risk the company." He rubbed at his hair, the line of sweat moistening his hair to hold it back. "I couldn't see a way out of it while we were neck deep in all the legal minutia and I…"

"You didn't see a way out of it." Anna shrugged, "I understand."

"You do?" His eyes brightened and it almost broke Anna's heart to see the hope there. "I'm so glad because I worried you'd-"

"You misunderstand, John." She put a hand forward to stop his gesticulating ones. "I said I understood, not that I forgave you."

His brow furrowed, "I'm the one who doesn't understand now."

"You left me." Anna gave a bitter guffaw. "You offered me the world and then, at the first sign of trouble, you scarpered without me."

"What else could I do?"

"Trust me to help you, to stand by your side through it all, to-" She stopped herself, "To give a bloody care about it all."

"Like I didn't?"

Anna nodded, "You didn't call me, John. What if I'd been pregnant or had your child."

"Did you-"

She shook her head, "But if I had you wouldn't have known. I wouldn't been on my own because you left me that way. Because you thought you had to do it on your own when that's not what love is. That's not what marriage is."

"I guess…" John swallowed and tried to clear his throat. "I guess, after my first marriage, I didn't know how to do it differently."

"And you didn't see the difference between Vera and I?"

"I did, every day, but there are some things ingrained in a person and it took…" John stopped, "I'm not going to make excuses. You deserve better than that and I'm only insulting both of our intelligence by saying anything else."

"John," Anna stood to reach over the desk and take his hand so he would look at her. "I don't think less of you because of what you did."

"I wouldn't blame you if you did."

"I knew why you did it and knowing you succeeded in saving your plan and finally putting that harpy in her cage has me happier than I could say but…"

"But you don't trust that I wouldn't run off again at the first sign of trouble?"

"All she had to do was crook her finger and you snapped to, John." Anna bit her lip, "And there was some talk, last fall, from Robert Crawley that you-"

"He did seem to get the wrong impression when we went to dinner together." John sighed, standing as well. "It was part of the agreement. Since Robert and Cora were moving to Downton she was there to make sure I wasn't discussing plans for the town or trying to undercut her."

"It was all legally necessary?"

John nodded, "I guess the depths of my gratitude came down to the fact that she didn't make that night as hellish as the nine months that followed."

"How'd you get her away?"

"For as smart as her lawyers were, and they're bloody sharks, they're not smarter than the restraining order violations or threats she made." John shrugged, "Eventually I shut her up with a buy-out and a permanent injunction to stop her meddling in my business affairs."

"That's good and I'm happy for you." Anna sighed, moving her hand to her back pocket as her mobile vibrated. "Unfortunately I've got a thing."

"No," John shook his head, holding up his hands, "I've delayed you long enough and I should let you get back to your Friday evening. I'm sure you've got plans and-"

Anna stopped typing midsentence, narrowing her eyes at John. "What makes you think I've got plans?"

"You said you had a thing."

"And you just give up like that?" She put the phone down.

"I didn't say I'd give up but if there's a boyfriend in the picture then-"

"So now I've got a boyfriend?"

"Why wouldn't you?"

She shrugged, "I'll admit I do have a date tonight and I guess he's-"

"There you go." John pointed at her, "I'm happy for you. I'm happy you moved on and I'm just sorry it was-"

"Who said I'd moved on?" Anna held his gaze but John could not answer. "Who said I could ever get over you?"

"I just assumed that you'd find someone better for you than me."

"There's no one better for me than you." Her jaw clenched and her teeth clacked slightly at the rise of emotion in her voice. "If I could describe what I feel for you in words it'd be like saying that you could go to the moon, with no hope of return, and I'd still love you."

"Anna I didn't-"

"There's not a day you weren't in my thoughts John." She took a steadying breath, "I could no sooner forget you than I could cut the heart from my chest."

"I thought about you every day too." His hand covered hers and Anna did not pull away. "I just… I don't know how I'll ever earn your trust again. Love is nothing without trust and I've broken yours so terribly that I don't know if there's hope."

"Who said there wasn't hope?"

Before John could answer there was a swift rap of knuckles on the door and their hands separated.

"There you are." The door opened and both Anna and John turned to see Green enter. He frowned a moment before an awkward smile came over his face. "Hello, I didn't know you were in a meeting. I'm so sorry for interrupting."

"No," John smiled, offering the man his hand. "Ms. Smith and I are old friends and we were just catching up. I'm John Bates."

"Well then I guess it'd be the gentlemanly thing to offer you my hand as well." Green shook John's hand. "Alex Green, I teach advanced mathematics with an office just down the hall."

"Does your door warp and jam as well?"

"Don't they all?" Green laughed and turned to Anna, "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, just let me grab my bag." Anna dug in her drawer for her handbag and motioned them both out of her office. She locked the door and turned to the two men. "All set."

"Perfect." Green offered a mock salute to John, "Pleasure meeting you John. I do hope you and Anna have time to catch up later."

"I'm sure if we've time then we'll find it." John nodded to them both, "Survive the heat yeah?"

"It is pretty awful out is it?" Green shuddered, "It's why I'd love to move somewhere like Seattle or Oregon. Get that smooth weather."

"I thought it rained all the time there?"

Green shrugged, "You know, every place has its ups and downs."

"Yes it does." Anna put a hand on Green's arm. "But we'd better get going or we'll miss our reservation."

"Right. Again," Green extended a hand to John, "Pleasure to meet you John and I hope you enjoy the rest of your visit here."

"I will." John leaned forward and Anna offered her cheek for an awkward kiss, "It was good to see you Anna and I wish you both a lovely evening."

Anna bit the inside of her cheek as John walked away and jumped slightly when Green rested a hand on her shoulder. "You alright?"

"Of course," She pulled a smile at him, "It's just like a blast from the past."

"Almost another life?"

"Almost." She looped her arm through his, "Come on. I'm starving and I think they've actually got functioning air conditioning."

"Amen to that."

With the air blasting at full power in Green's car, Anna caught herself staring out the window, only broken from her reverie by Green's voice.

"So, how'd you know that John guy anyway?"

"He sideswiped my car driving on the wrong side of the road." Anna gave a little laugh, left a huge gash in my car."

"What was he doing?"

"Driving on the wrong side of the road." Anna shrugged, "He'd let his attention slide and drifted to the wrong side of the road because he forgot he was in America."

"I thought I heard some accent on him." Green gave a little snort through his nose, "Did you give him hell for it?"

"I let him buy me a drink." Anna smiled, "It was an honest mistake."

"And you kept up with him, after that?"

"I showed him around Downton."

Green paused, "That's more than you've ever done for me."

"Please don't start this again Alex." Anna massaged at her forehead, "You know why I haven't."

"No, I really don't." He parked the car in the lot and turned to her. "I love you, Anna. I've told you again and again but you've never answered back for it. We've been dating for six months now and yet the closest we've gotten is a bit of a cuddle on my sofa or making out."

"I did tell you that I'd had my heart broken and-"

"By that John guy?" Green scoffed, "I knew it when I saw how he looked at you."

"It's not as easy as all that."

"Oh isn't it?" Green pointed out the back window, "You'd sleep with that guy but you won't even sleep with me?"

"These are two completely different things."

"Because you love him and you don't love me?" Green ground his teeth, "Here I was, all ready to propose to you, because you're the girl of my dreams and you're thinking about him right now aren't you?"

"Alex…" Anna ran a hand through her hair. "You can't just force someone to love you or care about you. You're not entitled to my affections, no matter how hard you try. I care about you but not like that and I don't think I ever will. I'm sorry but that's how it is."

"That's how it is?"

"What I felt with John I couldn't even gain for a moment with you. As hard as I tried I couldn't…" Anna closed her eyes and sighed, "I never felt it with you. Even though I wanted to I didn't."

"After all I've done that's what you'll say?" He shook his head, "Get out of my car."

"Alex-"

"Get the hell out of my car."

Anna opened the door, grabbing her things, and left him. He spun his tires a moment after she shut the door and peeled out of the parking lot fast enough that Anna wondered if she just imagined the smoke there. Her hand pulled her loose hair from her face, immediately feeling it sticking to her neck and turned toward the restaurant.

Walking inside she basked in the frigid breeze pumping through the building and pulled out her phone. Swiping through her contacts, she paused a moment before pressing on one. She brought it up to her ear, holding her breath, and then swallowed for words when the voice answered.

"I'm hoping I'm not too presumptuous and asking if you could give me a lift back to campus?"

"Where are you?"

"It's a little bistro called 'Grantham'. I'll text you the address."

"Okay."

Anna took a deep breath, "Thank you John."