Sir Henry Bilbo Baggins the Third or Billy for Short.
On his hands and knees Ianto peered under the sofa. He must he here somewhere. They had been playing hide and seek. The rules were simple: Billy would hide and Ianto would find him. When Ianto found him he would get all excited at being discovered and leap about. And Billy could do the hiding so well because could fit into the smallest of places. If he could get his head through then the rest of his body would follow. Ianto never ceased to be amazed at all the places he could fit into. Just last week Ianto had searched the whole house. Ianto had gotten really worried that he had gotten outside when he had heard a scratching noise in the laundry. Lifting the washing machine lid he had seen whiskers poking out the gap between the bowl and the side. Naughty boy, he had gotten into the back of the washing machine. Jack was none too pleased having to take off the back and there was Billy all covered in cobwebs. Ianto had given him a right telling off. Not that he ever listened, he just wriggled a bit then Ianto put him on the floor and he had bounded off all pleased with himself.
Ianto moved the sofa a fraction. He was certain he had gone under here because this was one of his favourite hoarding spots. It was under the sofa and Ianto thought he might be hiding something or checking it. Billy loved hoarding, finding special objects he hid in special places all over the house. Last time he had pulled out his hoard Ianto had found five socks, three bits of dry toast, a roll of shredded roll of toilet paper, three crayons, a pair underpants (Ianto's), a left slipper (Jack's) and a chewed cooked sausage. Ianto had been so proud it had been his best one yet!
Ianto pulled himself up onto his knees. Maybe he wasn't in the lounge at all. He listened. Tosh was all quiet so he wasn't in the kitchen but he had better check. Billy's latest trick was to lay his body along the floor and use all four feet to open the bottom half of the fridge- freezer. Once open he would steal and hide every slice of frozen bread he could around the house. If it wasn't bread it was frozen sausages, little rascal.
Or maybe he was in the pantry because he loved potatoes. Only three days Ianto had caught him trying to move a five kilo bag of potatoes up the hall. Billy had his teeth firmly around the tagged end and was jerking it backwards along the floor towards the art room. Or maybe Tosh had left the lid off the flour container? Yesterday Billy had tipped it over and was digging all the flour out. He was covered in flour and kept sneezing. Ianto had laughed so hard because every time Billy sneezed a shower of flour had shaken free making Ianto sneeze. The floor was covered in small footprints and Billy when he saw Ianto he started leaping about. He was so funny every day his antics made him laugh out loud! He raced into the kitchen…
"Ianto. IANTO!" he heard Jack bellow and knew where he was. Racing up the stairs two at a time he found Jack sitting up in bed reading the paper looking very annoyed. His lips were pursed and he was pointing towards movement under the covers at the foot end of the bed.
With one hand Ianto pulled back the duvet to see Billy. His teeth were firmly clamped around the toe end of the sock on Jack's right foot. He was using every muscle in his large lithe body in backwards jerks to pull it off. Before Ianto could reach down he succeeded and slid of the bed backwards. With quick movements and an arched back he took off in leaps and bounds of utter joy and headed towards the bathroom.
Following close behind Ianto picked Billy up. Holding Billy around his chest his long body dangled down. "Naughty," he said as he took hold of the sock and pulled. Billy, having gained his prize, was not about to give it up without a fight and clamped his teeth down. There was a brief tussle and it was clear Billy was not going to give up the precious object. "Naughty boy, drop Jack's sock. You know how he hates cold feet." Ianto heard Jack sigh as he pulled on the sock. Billy stretched his neck forward but didn't let go.
Jack watched as Ianto, his lips covered in concentration, tried to get Billy to let go. "Ianto," Jack said in a long suffering voice he used when he spoke about Billy. "If you put him down and follow he will take to his hoard. Once he's hidden it you can bring it back." He gave Ianto a stern look.
"Good idea." Ianto placed Billy down. Billy leapt away and proceeded to make the particular deep noise he did when he was especially happy and scurried down the stairs.
"And while you're there see if you can find the rest of the socks and articles of clothing he's taken," Jack shouted out as Ianto followed on behind. "And shut the door you know the rules," he said to Ianto's retreating back. "Bloody animal," Jack said in exasperation as he heard the door close. He used his feet to move the duvet back and then shook out his paper.
Several moments passed when Ianto thundered up the stairs.
"I've got the sock," he declared triumphantly handing over the sock to Jack who pulled it back on his foot.
"Where is he now?" Jack asked trying to keep the irritation he felt out of his voice.
"I pulled his hoard out and he's putting it back," Ianto said with glee. "He had seven socks, a pair of underpants, Tosh's, an old piece of pizza, and 11 pieces of Lego," he said proudly as Jack looked pained.
"That animal is foot obsessed," Jack told him crossly.
"He can't help it Jack, he loves feet. He only steals things that are important to him. He loves me and Tosh and he loves you even if you get grumpy with him." Ianto explained as Jack let out a sigh.
"We're going to play tubes now," Ianto told him.
"Just keep the door closed. You know the rules, the bedroom is out of bounds," Jack reminded him.
"I will." Ianto said.
Jack heard him bound down the stairs. Jack let out a deep groan. He was not much for pets; he disliked cats, had no particular fondness for dogs, but ferrets until now he had held no opinion. In hindsight he realised he could have put up with a cat or even a dog. Billy was the bane of his life. The only reason he tolerated him was for Ianto's sake. He was stinky, hard work, and naughty. However his being there was the first true independent action Ianto had ever taken, and he presented Jack with a 'fait a compli' he couldn't say no to.
Ianto had promised that he would take all his care onto his own shoulders and Jack wouldn't know he was in the house. Famous last words. True, Ianto lavished time and affection on him and took on every aspect of his care. That said the animal had a mischievous spirit that meant he was impossible to ignore and was in truth a bloody nuisance. Jack felt he had enough to deal with let alone a high maintenance pet. He was trying to mentally prepare himself for the next stage of his recovery, releasing some of his memories. Jack had to admit this small interlude as Geoff and Owen worked out the safest way to proceed was most welcome. Instead he had to deal with having the whole house disrupted by a very rascally and annoying animal.
This has all begun three short weeks ago with the arrival of the weekly Island community newspaper, 'Island News'. Ianto hated the national and international news. He refused to watch, listen or read because he said it was full of bad people doing mean things to good people or it was about horrible things happening like terrible fires or earthquakes. As a consequence he ignored the daily newspaper which Jack devoured, reading cover to cover.
The local news was different. Monday saw the arrival of the local rag tabloid. It listed all the comings and goings across all three villages and included the fishing news. To outsiders the paper was filled with advertising, local gossip and reports on trivial events. However Ianto found it fascinating, because it was full of news about people he knew, and reports of local events he took part in. He had spread out the paper on to the floor and read bits out to Jack of particular interest as he always did. Turning to the classified page he suddenly went quiet and studied it with great interest.
The day after Ianto asked to use the phone and for some money. Money was an aspect of life Ianto was still coming to terms with. He had thousands in trust for him, the compensation money from the 'Canary Wharf' incident, sale of his flat and car along with his substantial savings meant he was wealthy. Ianto understood you could buy things with money but often didn't make the connection that he could buy things for himself. Jack knew this was partly down to his continuing inability to choose things, which was improving but he still struggled with. So he was only too happy to release some funds to him via a debit card.
Ianto was very secretive and over the next two days he spent a lot of time on the internet only asking for help to make sure he had their home address spelt correctly. He and Tosh were intrigued to just what Ianto had been up to. More Lego they imagined, or a gift for someone but nothing prepared them for what happened next.
Jack had been in the kitchen helping Tosh as best he could with dinner when they heard Ianto being dropped off home by Mac in his van. This was not unusual as he spent every Wednesday afternoon working with Mac on his motorbike. After the drama of the previous weeks it was a welcomed return to normality and they both looked forward to Ianto bringing them up to speed on the project.
The door opened and Ianto entered the kitchen with a struggling animal firmly in his grasp.
"Meet Sir Henry Bilbo Baggins the Third, or Billy for short," he announced to their stunned faces. Mac entered carrying a cat cage filled with bags of something Jack couldn't quite make out.
"It's a ferret," Tosh said taking a step back and pressing herself against the bench.
"A very large blond ferret," Jack added blinking as he watched the animal squirm and twist in Ianto's firm grip.
"Yes he is a ferret. He's been very naughty and the lady who had him didn't want him anymore. I saw his picture in the paper and I wanted him, because I love him," Ianto explained.
Mac placed the cat carrier on the kitchen floor then left again.
"You saw him and you loved him?" Tosh questioned incredulously.
"Yes as soon as I saw his picture I knew I loved him," he explained his eyes shining in remembrance. "He was free to a good home. I went and saw the lady and I promised he would have the best free home ever. Free means you don't have to pay anything. But I would of if she had asked."
"I know what free means," Jack interrupted.
"Thank you Mac," Ianto said as Mac now placed a cat litter tray and a large bag of cat litter beside the carrier.
"Your welcome. And good luck," he wished them then left and closed the door behind him.
"What did he mean by good luck?" Tosh asked curious at the tone of Mac's voice looking between the objects of the floor and the struggling animal in Ianto's grasp.
"Billy's very naughty," Ianto told her his eyes glowing.
"Naughty?" Jack asked watching as Billy twist in Ianto's arms in an effort to escape.
"He's a bit bitey and he's a handful," Ianto explained as the animal squirmed.
"Bitey?" Tosh repeated and saw several deep puncture wounds oozing blood on Ianto's thumb.
"The lady didn't want him because she said he got all out of control when she let him out and bit her lots, but I reckon he's just lonely and bored." Ianto lifted the ferret up to his face. "He's so naughty, he's already bitten me." Billy lunged at his nose. Not perturbed and keeping a firm grip on him Ianto pulled him back then stroked down his long body talking quietly to him.
"Ianto!" Jack burst out in exasperation. "Where are we going to keep him? He stinks!"
"I've ordered a better cage for him with a hammock so he can stay in the lounge and I'm going to give him a bath," he announced with great eagerness.
"A bath! You are going to give that a bath?" Tosh said as she watched the animal struggle showing his impressive teeth.
"I'm going to put him down now because he told me wants to have sniff around," Ianto told them and placed Billy on the floor. Jack immediately put his feet on the chair and Billy took off into the lounge. Tosh closed the interconnecting door to the hall to keep him on the lounge-kitchen area.
"Isn't he cute?" Ianto said a happy smile growing on his face as Billy began to explore. Jack stood now and took a look at Ianto's deeply punctured thumb.
"If you say so," he said and Tosh brought out the first aid kit.
Jack looked at Tosh who had raised her eyebrows keeping an eye on the animal which had now reached the other side of the room. Billy stopped when he came across one of the ice cream containers Ianto used to store all his Lego pieces and using a front paw tipped it over, spilling the contents over the floor.
Ianto took an excited intake of breath as he watched him proceed to tip over each and every container. "He's so clever!" he declared and Tosh placed a sticking plaster over his thumb.
Over the next few days it became clear as deliveries were made to just what Ianto had spent his money on. Gone was the tatty cat cage Billy appeared to have spent a large part of his life in, replaced with a palatial four-tier affair with ramps connecting each level which Jack helped him assemble. This was followed by the delivery of several meters of clear air con piping and a large number of coloured tubes, a pet tent, igloos, ping sized balls with bells in them, sleeping sacks and a hammock. He had also bought a sort of cat tower with tubes which Ianto explained was adapted for ferrets that liked things with holes and was close to the ground. Also Ianto appeared to have purchased every kind of ferret treat and several bags of specialist food and oils for Billy to try out. Jack marvelled at the sheer number of products one could order for ferrets including special oils, food and shampoo. It would appear from the sheer volume Ianto had bought them all. However Jack did concede after he had visited several specialist ferret websites that Ianto had actually been restrained when faced with the sheer volume of products available.
True to his word Ianto proceeded to give Billy a bath which much to Tosh and Jack's amazement be appeared to enjoy. Leaping about and making a particular noise indicated he was clearly happy with the event. Jack set aside several towels just for this use and admitted that he smelt much better. Ianto explained he had been de-scented and de-sexed so wouldn't smell as bad as he could have. Also the shampoo he had chosen meant he should smell sweet and gave his coat a lovely silky feel.
Over the next couple of weeks Ianto words proved he was right. Billy was bored and lonely and the pair thrived in each other's company. Billy came out twice a day to play, supervised because on his own he tended to try and wreck the place. He and Tosh also saw something in Ianto come alive. Having something to care and be responsible for one hundred percent and fuss over they watched Ianto blossom and immediately noted his speech improved. Ianto also delighted in the more naughty aspects of Billy's nature. All ferrets have a quirky nature and this would appear to be a match made in heaven. Truth be told Billy lived to play as if the whole world was there for his entertainment and Ianto was only too happy to oblige. Three hours a day; two in the morning and one at night, were now set aside where the pair would play themselves into exhaustion.
Jack shook out his paper, and out of the corner of his eye he saw the door open. He closed his eyes and groaned. A few moments later he felt the bottom of the duvet move.
"Ianto, IANTO!" he shouted and he heard Ianto head up the stairs just as he felt the sock on his left foot start to come off.
Authors Note: This chapter is dedicated to the real 'Billy' now waiting for me at the 'Rainbow Bridge' with all my other ferret babies. All the incidents involving noted above are based on real events. I credit Billy for saving my daughter's life by bringing a ray of sunshine that daily made us laugh breaking her depression.