Chapter 14

Lovino was decidedly not satisfied. After listening to his brother's continued whinging all the way along the corridor to their next class, he eventually rounded on him, furious.

"It was your own damn fault, bastard. Learn to give some damn privacy and maybe you wouldn't have done it, huh!"

Feliciano pouted at him. "But you weren't listening to Antonio! You were staring at your phone and I wanted to know what you were looking at!" he whined.

"Yeah, dude, what was with that?" Alfred asked curiously. Lovino whipped his head up to stare at the taller boy, his face red.

"Nothing!" he barked. Alfred's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Ok, chill, dude. You don't have to say, it's cool."

To his surprise, Lovino looked down, abashed, and muttered an apology. Alfred stared at him curiously, but for once didn't press it further.

Once they finally got to class, they took their seats quickly, settling down. It wasn't long before Lovino's phone buzzed with a text.

(A) Dude, you ok? You looked pretty shook before. Wanna tell?

Lovino bit his lip, wondering whether to reply. Eventually, he typed back slowly.

(L) Has you brother said anything to you?

He looked over to where Alfred sat, waiting. The blond looked confused, evidently having read the text.

(A) not since this morning. Why?

(L) no reason.

(L) oy, fratello. Has the blond's brother texted you?

(F) You mean Mattie? No, why?

And you shouldn't text in class, Lovi. Pay attention.

(L) shut up, bastard. No reason.

And you replied, you little bastard, so who's not paying attention now?

(F)

Lovino scowled, then put his phone away, still confused. If it wasn't Alfred or Feliciano that Matthew had meant to send that message to, then he didn't understand it. Of course, there was the possibility that it was simply Matthew being nice, and expressing the faint feeling of missing home in general. He surely didn't mean missing him, did he?

He tried to ignore the part of his brain that flushed with a sense of strange happiness if that was the case, however.

He tried to pay attention to the rest of the lesson, but didn't quite manage. Luckily, the teachers seemed to be letting him ease back into lessons gradually, and for the moment at least, he was exempt from having to talk to the rest of the class.

The bell eventually sounded for lunch, breaking his thoughts. As yesterday, Feliciano bounded over to him practically immediately, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he waited impatiently for Lovino to finish putting his book back in bag.

"Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up! I'm hungry" he whined.

Lovino simply stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder. Alfred ambled over and drew Feliciano back.

"Alright! We're set, it's lunchtime! Time to chow down!"

"Dio, you're as bad as each other" Lovino grumbled, but followed them anyway.

Lunch was the normal crazy affair of trying to find a free table in the cafeteria. Luckily, the others had got there first and managed to save enough room for everyone, by dint of throwing bags onto spare seats and glaring at anyone who so much as looked at them. However, as the ones most likely to steal chairs (and anything else for that matter) were generally the younger years, it was never too much of a battle.

Lovino hung back for a moment before taking a seat. For one, he was still slightly unsure as to his reception amongst the group. For another, there was the matter of Matthew's text. He stood, clutching the strap of his back, before finally coming to a decision.

Stepping forward, he grabbed Alfred's arm and yanked him up from his seat, tugging him backward.

"Dude, what the heck?" Alfred yelled.

Seeing Lovino's expression, however, he stepped forward and leaned in.

"You ok, bro? You seem kinda off" he said quietly, or as close as he could get to something approximating it.

Lovino didn't respond, but tugged his arm again, jerking his head towards the door. Even Alfred was not as clueless as to miss that signal, and nodded.

Once they were safely in the stairwell, away from prying ears, Lovino let go and stood with his arms folded, glowering.

Alfred, with a remarkable display of acuity, simply leant against the wall, watching him. "I'm guessing this is something to do with the text you send me earlier?" he asked.

Lovino kept glaring, then relaxed slightly. He nodded curtly, but didn't offer an explanation. Alfred sighed. "Ok, bro. What exactly did Mattie say? It musta' been pretty bad if it got you all riled up like this. Wanna give me a hint here?"

Lovino's mouth twisted, unsure. Eventually, he took his phone out of his pocket and thrust it into Alfred's hand, who took it with a baffled expression.

"Just read it" Lovino ordered.

Alfred did so, then looked up at Lovino, still utterly confused. "Uh, what exactly is this? Mattie says he misses you. So?"

Lovino's face fell into an unreadable expression. Alfred raised an eyebrow. "Dude, is this really what got you twisted up?"

When Lovino didn't reply, he sighed, running his hand through his corn-blond hair. "I really don't know what to say. Mattie's just being nice, like he always is. I gotta say, I don't get why it's a big deal." He sounded apologetic.

Lovino stood in silence for a moment. He stepped forward and snatched his phone out of Alfred's hand.

"Fine. It was nothing. Just confusing, that's all" he snapped.

Alfred's face was the picture of confusion. "Why? Mattie's a homeboy, of course he's gonna miss us."

Lovino raised an eyebrow challengingly. "Did he say it to you?" he asked challengingly.

Alfred smiled ruefully. "Well, yeah, but it's just, like family stuff. He said to Dad too, and I know he doesn't miss him. They're not exactly best buddies, ya know?" he laughed.

Lovino's expression didn't change. He looked away, his face reddening. "…" he muttered something.

"What was that? You gotta speak up, dude."

"Feli didn't get a text like that." Lovino glanced across at Alfred, his face flushing deeper. Alfred stared at him blankly for a moment, then laughed loudly.

"DUDE! You're blushing!" he laughed, making Lovino glare at him. If looks could kill, Alfred would no doubt be the subject of a chalk outline in the narrow school stairwell.

Alfred noticed his thunderous expression, and tried to compose himself. In an uncharacteristically gentle voice, he said

"I get it, dude. Mattie texted you and not Feli and now you're wondering why. It's pretty simple. Mattie likes you. More than Feli. Heck, more than me, sometimes." He chuckled.

Lovino, for his part, looked torn between anger and utter shock. Alfred looked at him with concern. For once, he stayed quiet for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice held the same gentle tone as before.

"Look, dude. Mattie's cool with everyone, you know that. But he's also the type of guy who needs his own space, you know? And guys like me, and Feli, and Leon, and Yong Soo, and, well you get the point, but we can get…well, kinda loud. But you're not. I mean you get real loud when you're mad, but you kinda blow over quick and then you're cool. Mattie gets that. So yeah, he probably texted you and not your little bro 'cause he feels closer to you than him. You get me?"

Lovino's face had softened ever so slightly, anger fading to quiet amazement.

"He…likes me more than Feli?" he asked quietly, almost wonderingly.

Alfred frowned in concern. He was not nearly as unable to read the situation as people tended to think. He knew that for all their differences, he was often the reason Matthew was so quiet, withdrawn at times. He would never tell his brother, but his own exuberance was often merely an act, a show put on in the hope that some of it would spill over to Matthew.

He stepped over to Lovino slowly, approaching him like he would a wild animal. Tentatively, he reached out an arm. When Lovino didn't appear to try and slap his hand away, he slung his arm around his shoulder.

"Hey, dude, it's ok. I didn't know it was that big of a deal for you." His face screwed up in concern. In as passive a voice as he could manage, he asked "is it really that suprising?"

Lovino glanced over, frowning. Amazingly, instead of pushing him away with his usual anger, he simply shrugged, staring at his shoes.

"No-one likes me more than Feli" he muttered.

Alfred couldn't hold back a snort of laughter. When Lovino glared at him, he stopped, smiling at him.

"You'd be surprised, dude."

When Lovino raised an eyebrow in disbelief, Alfred simply raised his arms in a helpless gesture.

"Hey, I'm not saying your little bro's bad, but ya know…" he trailed off. Lovino kept staring at him challengingly. Alfred laughed again, self-deprecatingly.

"Not everyone gets the whole happy thing, ya know? You're, like, the quiet one. When you aren't yelling, that is. I dunno, I guess people just prefer it?"

He tried to find the best way of saying it. "You're like, I dunno, the sun and moon, or whatever. Sure, Feli's always gonna chat and smile and laugh and stuff, but I guess some people find it annoying? I mean, I'm cool with it, but not everyone is. But you, you bristle and get mad and yell and stuff, but we all know you don't really mean it. It's just who you are. Sure, it was kinda a shock to get used to at first, but we're cool with it now. It's just you." He sighed.

"I guess, what I'm trying to say is, Feli is Feli, and you're you. We like you both, and you balance each other out. Like me and Mattie. Or Leon and Kiku. Point is, all of us have got someone to balance us out. And I gotta say, we all kinda missed you when you got all, well, you know. But now you're back, and it's all gonna be cool again! That's what Mattie meant. If you wanna know what he meant, just call him. Dude's in France, he's gonna want to hear someone speaking normal. Even if that's you yelling at him." He grinned his usual thousand-watt beam.

"Anyway, bro. Can we go back and get lunch now? All this talking's made me real hungry."

Lovino nodded absently, silent. Alfred grinned again, relieved. "Cool. You coming or what?"

Lovino simply nodded at him, trailing after with a thoughtful expression. He slid into the seat Feli had saved for him, letting the conversation wash over him. Almost as an afterthought, he took his lunch out and munched thoughtfully, still thinking. He kept contemplating Alfred's words throughout the remainder of the lunch period, turning the words over and over. Feli tried to engage his brother in conversation, but after being shushed by Alfred, who when asked simply said that he had 'just given him a couple things to think about' he let it slide, reluctantly.

He dutifully kept his curiosity in check until the final bell rang, bounding over to Lovino immediately. As before, he barely let his brother gather his stuff before grabbing his arm in concern.

"Fratello? Are you ok? Do you not feel well? Do you wanna skip practice? It would be bad, but I'm sure coach will be ok with it if you say you're feeling bad."

Lovino's head shot up in alarm. Feliciano laughed. "Don't tell me you forgot, fratello? It's Wednesday, of course its practice!"

Lovino flushed angrily. "Of course I didn't forget, idiota. It just, slipped my mind. I was thinking about something else, alright?"

Luckily, Alfred walked over just in time to hear that. Nodding at Lovino, he took hold of Feliciano and drew him back. "Yo, time for practice! Gotta go or coach will yell at us, and man is that dude scary when he's mad."

He steered Feliciano out of the door, turning his head back to Lovino as he did so. You cool? He mouthed. Lovino nodded slowly, the barest hint of a smile playing on his lips. Alfred grinned. "Alright! Time to kick ass on the pitch!"

Lovino was not a fool. He may have, as Antonio had so bluntly put it, blown things far out of proportion, but Alfred's words had struck a deep chord in him. While he had partly withdrawn from school as a result of what he perceived to be a lack of attention, he could now see that the same was true of his return. In truth, his outbursts and disruptive attitude had had little to no effect on his classmates interest. Now, with his determination, however reluctant, to try and rebuild his behaviour, he saw that he would be welcomed back with the same indifferent attitude as if he had never left. Sure, it would obviously take a while for him to be fully accepted again, but by and large his inclusion, or lack of, made no difference to their school experience.

Strangely, it was a comforting thought. If no-one was going to treat him as an outcast, as he had secretly feared, then all he had to do was follow Antonio's instructions to keep his head down.

But here, out on the pitch, it was different. Here, he was not only noticed, but needed. Here, his absence, and presence, would be both noticed and noted. Here, he could be a part of something. He could make a difference. He may be only taking Matthew's place, keeping his seat warm for his return, but he had a duty, a promise, to fulfil that task as best he could.

He was suddenly filled with a rush of something approaching fear. What if he couldn't do it? What if the team hated him? What if he wasn't nearly as good as he thought? What if he let down the one person who seemed to have entirely ungrouded trust in him?

A small part of him tried to reassure him that he had already been to practice one, and it had been fine. But he hadn't really played then, just watched while Ludwig shouted orders at them and then subjected him to a stern lecture about 'doing his part for the team'. He would no doubt be on the receiving end of another today, along with a repetition of the stern warning he had already had to listen to before.

He was saved from his thoughts consuming him. Feliciano, seeing his brother's reluctance, grabbed hold of his arm and dragged him along the hallway.

"Don't worry fratello! I know Luddy seems scary, but he's really nice, I swear!"

Lovino couldn't quite hold back a glare as he saw the faint blush on his brother's cheeks, but "I bet he is" was all he muttered in a low, sarcastic tone. Feliciano seemed blind to it, however.

Once changed into their strips, they made their way out onto the field, Lovino dragging his heels somewhat. Ludwig raised an eyebrow at his seeming reluctance, but didn't comment on it.

Now that Lovino was to be part of the team, there was the slight problem of the rollcall. In the end, Ludwig decided to simply call Feliciano by his first name and Lovino by their surname, not least because the former was scatterbrained at the best of times and therefore significantly more likely to respond to his name being called.

In the end, Lovino's worry proved groundless. He did have to suffer through another lecture from Ludwig, during which he barely held back his usual choice language, but managed by remembering that Ludwig was duty bound to pass on his behavioural reports to Antonio, who would then tell his grandfather, and he would receive yet another lecture. Ludwig also saw fit to embarrass him further, although probably without meaning to, by insisting on giving the team a lecture themselves on including him, citing the lack of 'inclusion fit for a cohesive team' shown during the previous practice.

Thereafter, everyone at least made a half-hearted effort to include him. It was helped somewhat by the fact that the position he was filling was Matthew's striker. More often than not, however, it was a joint effort by him and Feliciano, using a combination of Matthew's lack of presence and Feliciano's sheer enthusiasm which helped them score. Indeed, Matthew had joked that it was the only time he was glad that he was often ignored, as it meant that the opposing team quite often failed to notice him until he was almost to the goal, at which point he would either score it himself or pass it to Feliciano and allow him to make the goal.

With Lovino, however, it was less of a lack of presence and more a case of his anger and determination that ensured a deep unwillingness on anyone else's part to even try and take the ball off him. It also helped that he and Feliciano had, however much he would deny it, the kind of fluid bond that could only have come from years of knowing precisely how the other moved and consequent instinctive ability to track their movements. Matthew and Alfred were much the same (when the latter wasn't running around the pitch yelling to all that he was the 'hero' and actually paid attention), as were, to greater or lesser extent, Lukas and Emil, and Kiku, Leon and Yong Soo, although Kiku had a tendency to duck slightly whenever the ball came into anything approaching the general vicinity of his elder brother.

All things considered, the practice went rather well indeed, enough that when Ludwig finally blew the whistle to signal the end of the game, Feliciano immediately threw his arms around his brother in delight.

"You did it, Lovi! See, wasn't it fun? You're really good. Mattie's gonna be so happy!"

Lovino sincerely hoped that his brother really was as clueless as he appeared to be, and that his ever-so-faint flush was explained by the exertion of the game, and decidedly not for any other reason.

Feliciano kept up a stream of praise and chatter throughout the subsequent cool-down, barely stopping once Ludwig gave Lovino gruff 'well done' and cautioned him to keep that standard up, to which he scowled, but nodded stiffly. He started again as soon as they were back in the changing room, until Lovino eventually shut him up by threatening to gag him with his own shirt. Since the item in question was now stained with a combination of grass, mud and sweat, it was enough to cower him into scared silence. He kept shooting his brother with hurt looks, however, to which Lovino only rolled his eyes and studiously ignored him.

As usual, their ingrained habits of cleanliness meant they were among the last to leave, with only Alfred leaning against the door nonchalantly waiting for them. Once they finally emerged, shirts thankfully in their bags where they belonged and not used as restraining orders, they made their way out of the building. There, Alfred ambled off in the direction of the local shop, stating that he was 'totally starving' and in dire need of a milkshake, hamburger and whatever offer McDonalds currently had. He did ask them to join him, but received the usual faint disdain the two couldn't help but show whenever fast food of any kind was mentioned in their presence.

Alfred simply laughed and waved it off, saying something about 'Europeans and their weird food hang-ups', and said he would see them tomorrow. Feliciano waved at him with his usual exuberance while simultaneously trying to walk in the other direction. Lovino rolled his eyes and grabbed him, turning him around and pushing him forwards with enough force to almost make him fall over, at which point he conceded and started walking normally.

They walked in relative silence until Feliciano's ever-present chatter could no longer be contained.

"So, what did Alfred talk to you about at lunch? It seemed really important. You were gone for almost forever!"

Lovino glared at him. "None of your business" he muttered.

Feliciano simply smirked. "Was it about Mattie?" he pressed. When Lovino didn't reply, he grinned. "It was! Ooh, was it about that text you sent me? What was it? Tell me, tell me!"

Lovino started walking faster, speeding up. Feliciano simply increased his own pace to match, seemingly not out of breath in the slightest. "Fratello" he whined. "Tell meeee. What did Mattie say? You seemed upset, and you're never upset." He stared sideways at Lovino, eyes pleading.

Eventually, to his surprise, it worked. Lovino stopped suddenly and whirled to face him, face flushed.

"He said he missed me, ok? And it was a surprise. Now shut up, you nosy bastard."

Feliciano did. For a moment. Then, he bounced back, clapping delightedly. "Of course Mattie misses you. You're his best friend. Everyone missed you!"

Lovino shot him a glare, keeping walking. After a while he turned back slightly. "best friend?" he muttered. Feliciano grinned, nodding. "Uh-huh. Mattie isn't really close with anyone else, but he really missed you when you played hookey and stuff. He was worried about you."

Lovino shot him a decidedly disbelieving look. Feliciano grinned happily.

"Do you miss him too?" he asked slyly.

Lovino's angry sputtering and flushed face was all the answer he needed.

They walked the rest of the way in relatively companionable silence. Roma was already home by the time they reached the door, waiting for them with a smile. Unlike Feliciano, he waited until they were both changed out of their uniform and sat on the coach with mugs and snacks before he started questioning them.

"So. How did it go?"

He directed the question to Lovino, who looked up from contemplation of his cup. His face was pensive, which Roma took as a good sign.

"Ok" he answered.

Roma sighed, raising an eyebrow. Lovino looked down again, shrugging. "Good."

"Good. Ok, we're getting there. Anything else?"

Lovino glanced over to Feliciano, pointedly. Roma sighed again. "Fine. Feli, could you maybe go upstairs while I drag the answers out of your brother?"

Feliciano grinned and hopped off the coach. "Lovi, make sure you tell him everything!" he quipped. Lovino waited until his steps had faded and he heard the soft sound of his bedroom door shutting, then turned back to Roma, who sat looking at him with a calm, patient expression. Lovino felt his face flush, the barest hint of a faint smile rising to his lips.

He recounted the events of the day dutifully, if hesitantly in places. He stumbled slightly when he recounted the matter of the text, feeling foolish now that he was telling his grandfather. To his relief, Roma made no move to mock him. Rather, he smiled gently, placing a hand on his head and ruffling his hair gently. Lovino moved away out of reflex, then grudgingly relaxed.

"I'm very proud of you, Lovi. You know that, si?"

Lovino looked up at him tentatively, then nodded. "Si. Thank you, Nonno."

Roma blinked in confusion. "For what, Lovi?"

Lovino flushed deeply. "F-for not making fun" he said, haltingly.

Roma's confusion turned to tenderness. He got up and sat next to Lovino, drawing him into a deep hug.

"I would never make fun of you, Lovi. You have done so much already." He thought for a moment, stroking Lovino's head tenderly. "But, tell me something, Lovi." He let go, making Lovino look up at him warily.

"Was it really that surprising that your friend would tell you they miss you? Or that all your other friends would accept you back?" Roma sounded strangely worried. Lovino shrugged.

"I didn't expect it" he said, finally. "I suppose I thought…" he trailed off, flushing. Roma smiled.

"Lovi, look at me."

He did so, reluctantly.

"You thought that they would not care? Or worse, that they would reject you?"

Lovino frowned, looking away. The stiff posture of his head was enough to make Roma grab him in an embrace again.

"Oh, Lovi. You really have not changed since you were a bambino. Still so quick so believe the worst in people, let alone yourself. Just give yourself some credit here, hey? You aren't that unlikeable."

Lovino looked at him doubtfully.

Roma grinned. "Ok, you are a little touchy. But that is part of your charm! You're a little present. You have built a shell around yourself and convinced yourself that no one cares for you. You need to take a step forward and see that you have a lot of friends. Just try and let them, ok?"

He grinned hopefully at Lovino, who rolled his eyes and sank further into the coach. Roma simply laughed and ruffled his hair again, earning a muttered outrage from Lovino.

Standing up, Roma walked over to the kitchen, then turned back to Lovino. As if sensing that the conversation was over, Feliciano came bounding back down the stairs.

"Are you done? I don't wanna wait anymore, I'm hungry, nonno. Can we cook yet, please? Please?"

Roma grinned again, grabbing Feliciano and putting him in a headlock playfully. Feliciano gave a cry of mock distress, then flung his arms around his grandfather. Lovino snorted scornfully at them, making them both turn to him and stick their tongues out at him. They both laughed, making Lovino turn away in disgust. He made the mistake of getting up to go to his room, however.

"Oh no you don't!" Roma grabbed him playfully, drawing him into the hug.

"Yay, hug! Hug!" Feliciano chanted. Lovino rolled his eyes, but put up with his brother's gleeful embrace. They stood like that for a moment, until Roma let go and set them both at arms length.

"My handsome grandsons. I'm so proud of you both." He smiled. "Everything's gonna be ok."

He smiled at Lovino, who, for once, met his gaze with a tiny, hopeful smile of his own.