Sanctuary.
Opening the French doors Ianto helped Jack into the lounge. Tosh immediately moved past them to the kitchen and began to make a hot drink. After helping Jack reach the sofa, Ianto immediately went to check on Billy who was still fast asleep curled up on his hammock.
"I am so proud. He's been a real good boy," Ianto announced then to and help Tosh in the kitchen.
A short while later the Doctor, Owen and Geoff left the TARDIS deep in discussion deep in discussion. It stopped the moment they entered the lounge and settled down on the comfortable chairs. Quickly Tosh took their request for a drink. She returned a short time later and handed out a hot drink to each. Ianto followed and handed a hot cup of coffee to Jack from the tray he was carrying. He took his own mug and settled as close as he could to Jack.
"Putting aside hope and faith we're been trying to figure out what happened," Owen began.
"What did you see?" Jack asked as their eyes were drawn to Ianto who was drinking his hot chocolate, using a desert spoon and with loud sips making his enjoyment evident.
"We saw Ianto close his eyes and in an instant he appeared on the screen and the garden on the screen reformed around him," Owen replied.
"Ianto, can you tell us what happened?" Geoff asked.
"I was real scared. When I saw Jack I knew he needed a hug and a kiss. When I laid down I heard the song. It sang to me."
"Song?" Owen queried and the Doctor looked curious as he sipped his tea
"It's my very special song from when I was in the bad first place." Ianto began to hum tunelessly. "I heard the song and then it did something funny."
"Funny?" Geoff repeated.
"Funny because it started saying words. The words said close your eyes." Ianto closed his eyes. 'Then the words said 'open your eyes'." And he opened his eyes. "When I did I was in the garden. Jack knows the song too."
Everyone looked at Jack.
"When I was on the Valiant I heard the same song, and in the garden just before Ianto appeared," Jack explained.
"So you both heard the same song?" Geoff asked Jack and saw him nod.
"Clever old girl," the Doctor said quietly.
"I think that needs deserves an explanation," Owen said turning to the Doctor, curious at his comment.
The Doctor cleared his throat. "The TARDIS is not an object; she is a living entity, grown and nurtured. As each TARDIS grows they develop an inner emotional awareness. She is a conscious being. In this case she was forced to become the centre of the paradox. Her very matrix was used against her will."
"That sounds like a kind of rape?"
The Doctor inclined his head towards Geoff who had made the comment. "In a sense; helpless, bound, forced to do the will of another. She reached out and touched the minds of those she saw suffering along with her and sang to them, offering them comfort in the only way she could," the Doctor replied. "She is driven to help because she has become imbued with my will." He looked around at the questioning faces. "It happens over a long period of time, if a Time Lord and TARDIS are together for a sustained time." A small smile played across his lips. "In this case I suspect she reached out of her own volition."
Geoff nodded as he recalled the conversation he had had with Jack a few weeks previous speculating that the Doctor was in a relationship with his time ship because of the way he treated her.
"So she reached out to help in the only way she could, reached out on an empathic and telepathic level, and sang," Owen spoke.
"When I was in the dark, I was very scared. I thought I would never see the outside again. I heard the song; it sang and sang and I saw pictures and they made me happy because I wasn't in the dark anymore," Ianto said and Jack put his arm around Ianto who leaned into him.
"Do you recall this from your time on the Valiant?" Geoff now asked Jack and saw him nod.
"It was in the back of my mind. It was like a soft melody that you can't quite remember but it's there, but not there." He shook his head. "Sorry I'm not explaining this very well. It was only when I was in the garden today that I recalled the song fully," Jack told them.
"I'm curious," the Doctor interrupted. "You said the song had words."
Jack shook his head. "I never heard any words, only the melody."
"I heard words. The words told me loads of special things." Ianto smiled as he now handed his mug to Tosh.
"Did she always speak to you in words?" the Doctor asked.
"No. When I was in the first bad place I only heard the song. It was only today I heard words."
"Curious," the Doctor commented and sat back in contemplation.
"The words were funny, like they were words but not words."
"Like images?" Owen checked.
"No silly, I know what a picture looks like. Sometimes when I was in the first bad place the song made pictures that made me happy. But these were words." Ianto paused as he thought. "Words that were different."
The Doctor leaned forward and smiled. "I think I understand. The words were not like we are speaking here in English but you could understand them?"
"Yes. Like in the 'Hobbit' when Bilbo speaks different words than the dwarfs," Ianto agreed.
"Clever old girl," the Doctor repeated his earlier statement. "So she sang in words," he added a few moments later.
"Yes; some were things like close your eyes, open your eyes. And others were more tricky," Ianto told them.
"Tricky how?" Owen now asked and saw Ianto still in concentration.
"When we were lying in the swinging thing under the tree and I was holding Jack, he fell asleep. I started to hear very big words. I had to really listen and they had to be done over and over loads of times so I wouldn't forget. The words said I had to help Jack escape and that was the easy bit. The words said it was like one of my dreams so I would know what to do. The garden had to be closed and the bad man would chase us and we had to fight our way out and Myfanwy would help." Jack took Ianto's hand. "The words said Jack would get scared when the garden got smaller but not to be sad because we have a real garden." He sat back and closed his eyes.
"And the words said…" he struggled, "the words said it was very important that I tell Jack and the man I don't like that the garden is gone forever but I was to say the real garden is still here. Everything is now real." He creased his forehead as he thought then opened his eyes and looked at Geoff
"I don't like you. Every time you come something bad happens. I told the words that I don't like you but the words said you were a good man and you were trying to help Jack get better. They said you had helped me get better. I had big row with the words but they said you were the man that would help Jack. And I had to say this word for word, because it's very important." He closed his eyes. "The memories are locked deep inside Jack but they are now safe to come out because the garden is gone."
"I'm sorry you don't like me Ianto. I like you very much. I think you are an amazing man. I thank you very much for being able to put aside your dislike of me to help Jack," Geoff said as Jack put his arm around Ianto in support.
"That's very big of you," Owen said in support and saw Ianto pull himself up a little straighter.
"The words said I should trust you because she said that you would help Jack get better," Ianto said looking at Geoff.
"Was there any more to the message?" Owen asked quietly.
"The garden is closed. Everything Jack needs is now set in place. It's safe for the memories to come out. That Jack would need loads of love, hugs, kisses and looking after. And the words said I would be a great help, because Jack needs me. And I told the words that I would love Jack forever and ever."
"I think I understand," Geoff said as he worked through Ianto's statement. "Can I explain a little about the creation of the garden in your mind?" He looked at Jack, who nodded.
"It sounds like the garden we witnessed, as wonderful as it was, was a kind of trap. It means no matter how careful we were, every time we accessed any of your repressed memories your subconscious would always steer you towards the garden as a place of safety. Like a sort of feedback loop. We saw it happen with just one spoken word. It was an emergency shelter created without the normal checks and balances. As a consequence it had major inherent flaws because it was dependant on Ianto. Once the Ianto in your mind fused with the real Ianto Jones, it meant the garden in your mind would fall apart if you ever returned. The TARDIS, by somehow allowing Jack and Ianto's consciousnesses to interlink, halted the disintegration allowing the garden to reform. Due to the fragile nature of the psychic boundaries I suspect that it would have been impossible for Jack to escape without help. Once escaped, the garden has either been removed or sealed off somehow." Geoff smiled "Which means moving forward. We can now safely release your memories."
"He would have to stay forever. The words said only I could get him out. That it would be like one of my dreams. And I have one dream where I always escape and beat the bad man and it always has Jack in it," Ianto told him.
"Wow," Owen said.
"Clever girl," the Doctor said as a small smile crept onto his lips. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a scratching noise. Turning he saw the ferret was awake and had his feet on the bars of his cage and was looking into the room with an air of excitement.
Ianto gasped when he saw him. "Billy, you have been such a good boy Jack has promised you one of his socks."
Jack leant down and pulled off the sock from his left foot and handed it over. Ianto leaned in and kissed him.
"Excuse me," Ianto said moving to the cage. "I need to give Billy his reward." He opened he cage and the animal bounded out. Kneeling on the floor Ianto held out the sock.
With clear and obvious joy, Billy snatched the sock and in a leap backwards took off towards the kitchen with leaps and bounds.
"Billy thinks Jack has the best stinky feet in the world," Ianto told them nodding.
"What can I say," Jack laughed. "51st Century pheromones."
"You'll be the first I'll call if ferret aliens ever fall though the Rift," Owen joked.
"Well, there are the Mustelaides on Signi Eight," the Doctor said seriously.
Owen rolled his eyes. "Are you telling me that there is a race of beings out there that are like ferrets? Next you're telling me they mad for socks…"
His arms wrapped around Ianto Jack settled making himself more comfortable. Ianto stirred slightly and Jack drew him closer. Jack loved this moment as they fell asleep, Ianto safe in his arms, knowing nothing could hurt either of them in this moment. A warm glow began to grow in his chest. It was overwhelming in its intensity. It was one of utter wellbeing. He couldn't fathom it; it felt was so strange, alien. It took several more moments before it came to him. He was feeling happy. A huge smile grew on his face. He couldn't recall the last time he had felt this happy. He wracked his brains trying to think why he was so happy but nothing came to him. A thought came to him 'Not without reason.' Today he had visited his sanctuary, been rescued and seen the worst monster in the universe defeated in the company of the man he loved. It was like a connection had been forged within him. He could feel the change deep within himself; he could sense it. Several more moments passed when it came to him. He had given up something.
He kissed Ianto on his forehead and Ianto snuggled in. What could it be that he had given up that could make him so happy? His eyes flew open...it was control. He had given over his control. He has been trying to control himself, his fears, and the terrible darkness that threatened to overwhelm him. That control had become all consuming. In allowing Ianto to rescue him, he had given over his control and he had escaped. Not only had the 'Monster' that had haunted him in the form of the Master had been defeated; it had been destroyed, eaten alive. Jack felt a wave of relief at the memory. For the first time he had seen the Master beaten; if that could happen then there was a way out. He could move forward at last because he could give over the control of his therapy to Geoff. A huge weight lifted off him and he felt momentarily dizzy.
There was so much to deal with but now he knew he had the inner reserves to face it because he knew he could overcome it. He had been witness to it. He had reached his garden, and instead of being pulled back into torture he had escaped, and seen the Master destroyed.
All he needed was Ianto, his hero, by his side, lightsaber in hand, riding the mighty Myfanwy. He felt a momentary loss of the garden in mind and Ianto's words came to him, the garden was real, a few feet away, a living sanctuary. A refuge from the dark times to come as he now began the long journey to recovery. A tear formed and he kissed Ianto again.
"I know you can't hear me but I love you and I bless the day you came crashing into my life. I'm not sure what I did to deserve you. I am so grateful. "
"You're welcome," he heard Ianto murmur.
Smiling Jack held him close and he began to make plans. Winter was coming, and if he worked hard together with Geoff spring would be here soon and he would have enough energy to work in his garden. And he would fill it with beauty, butterflies…and Ianto.