She sniffed, resting on the edge of the tub as John kneeled in front of her. He reached forward, taking her hand, and smiling at her. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I knew the suffering it would bring you." Anna wiped at her eyes, "I thought it was a one time thing but this is the third time and I-"

"And you thought it would resolve itself?"

Anna nodded, "The first time I thought it was the stress of the move and the job change but then I realized it wasn't that." The tears rolled down her cheek again. "We can't have children John. I'm not able."

"Don't say that." John put his hand on the back of her neck to pull her head to his shoulder so he could rub her back. "Doctor Clarkson said, back in Downton, that there was cervical damage. We could see another doctor or a specialist and we can figure a way out of this."

"What if…" Anna pushed herself off his shoulder, chest still heving with her sobs, "What if I can't and it's hopeless and-"

"Stop that." John gave her a sad smile, "We won't do ourselves any good worrying over it all now. We'll make an appointment, we'll see a doctor, and then we'll know."

"But if-"

"If you can't then…" John took a breath, "Then we'll adopt some."

"But you're tribal. You want one of your own and you won't be satisfied without one."

"Anna," John put both of his hands to her face, looking up at her from his position on the tile floor of their bathroom. "If you can't have children then we'll have to deal with that."

"How?"

"By mourning it together." John took a deep breath, "If that horrible man took that from us then we'll mourn it. We'll cry about it, we'll weep together, and we'll move on together."

"And then?"

John shrugged, "I'll always have a part of myself that wishes we could have one of our own. One half of you and one half of me but we can make a home together with whatever children we can welcome into it." He kissed her forehead, "Will you work with me?"

Anna only nodded and John hugged her to him, "Then let's get you to bed and we'll solve this problem in the morning."

She smiled at him, "How can you be this good?"

"Because you let me love you." John withdrew, "And I can never thank you enough for that. But I promised to spend my life trying and I will. Every day."

"Thank you John."

She wrapped her arms around him and John carried her to bed. They lay there, intertwined with one another, and Anna relaxed against him. Breathing deeply to the resounding, and comforting, beat of his heart she fell asleep.

They held hands as the doctor sat down behind his desk before them. He frowned at the form before him before eyeing them both. "Bit of a ways to come for a check up."

"London's not that far, Doctor Ryder." John ran his thumb over Anna's knuckles and she squeezed his hand in return.

"I guess it's all relative but I'll be honest, you're the first patients I've ever had from Germany."

"We're ex-pats there."

"Ah," Doctor Ryder nodded before tapping at the forms, "Explains the medical records from America. Your Doctor Clarkson was surprisingly thorough in his examination and recommendation."

"What did he say?" Anna leaned forward slightly.

"He mentioned there was significant damage to your cervix from an… incident, about a year ago." Doctor Ryder flipped through the papers a moment. "Recommended I take a close look at your cervix and he was right to suggest it."

"What did you find?"

"Cervical incompetence." Doctor Ryder waved his hand at the pale faces before him. "It's not unusual or difficult to solve."

"It happens often?"

"More than people believe but not as often as you think. Sometimes it's genetic and I treat it in siblings or even cousins. Sometimes it's the result of sexual assault, as in your case, and other times a difficult pregnancy and subsequent delivery can cause the cervix to weaken."

"What exactly happens, in that case?" John finally spoke again, still holding Anna's hand but now she could not tell who was supporting whom.

"It means that the womb isn't strong enough to hold the baby past a certain weight. It collapses under the pressure and releases the baby too soon, causing the miscarriage or, in this case, the abortion."

"My body's been aborting the babies?"

"It's a self-defense mechanism." Doctor Ryder put a hand toward her. "Your body will protect itself and since it can't support the baby it has to take the measures necessary to ensure your survival."

"But you can fix it. I'm not going to be like this forever?"

"Of course you're not." Doctor Ryder smiled at her. "When you're three months or so you come right back here and I'll put in a stitch. About your eighth month I'll come to you and remove it so your body can deliver the baby naturally."

"Could I get something permanent to fix it?"

"There are procedures and, if you like, I can look into those for you." He winced, "I would suggest, for the first pregnancy, we go this route. Given the number of miscarriages I'm loathe to force your body into a procedure that might not work."

"But the stitch will?"

"I've had great success with it and can recommend it at ninety-five percent efficiency."

"Only ninety-five percent?" John asked and Doctor Ryder shrugged.

"Nothing is foolproof and I won't do either of you the disservice of saying otherwise. You deserve the truth and that is I have great faith in this procedure and I have every confidence that Mrs. Bates's body just needs to gather a bit of strength to surmount this obstacle."

"Could I-" Anna paused, "Could I have multiple children?"

"Depends on how your body reacts to this pregnancy." Doctor Ryder stood, "Let's climb this Everest and then we'll face the next summit."

"Thank you Doctor Ryder." Anna gave her hand first, shaking his and then stepping to the side to allow John to shake as well. "You've given us a lot of hope."

"In nine months or so I do hope to give you a baby." Doctor Ryder stopped, "Sorry, that cam out wrong."

Anna laughed, "I understand what you mean and I've grateful."

"I'll see you both in a few months then."

Anna and John left the office, both taking a huge sigh of relief when they reached the pavement. They turned to one another and Anna threw her arms around John's neck. He hugged her close and even lifted her off the ground a moment before setting her back down.

"We could have a baby, John." She beamed at him, sucking air through her teeth. "We can start a family."

"Then may I suggest," He took her hand, a familiar glint in his eye, "We start right away?"

"I'd like that very much."

They caught the next taxi back to their hotel and giggled through the lobby like two children. A lift dinged to their location and they hurried inside, John pressing the button to close the doors as fast as possible. Once they shut Anna threw herself at him, holding tightly to his shirt to keep herself upright as she lips moved over his.

John responded with equal fervor, his fingers clutching at the back of her shirt to mold into the skin of her back, and groaned into her mouth when she dragged his lower lip between her teeth. The doors opened and they stumbled out, laughing at the shock on the faces of the older couple standing there. With muttered apologies they did not mean, and trying to keep their grins to themselves as the old man smirked while his wife looked absolutely scandalized, they ran to their room.

They fumbled the card key, sliding it in too fast or not fast enough. When the lock finally clicked open they scrambled into the hallway of their room and closed the door. Their swift kisses and chuckles had them kicking off shoes and managing to tear away jackets and belts.

But when they reached the base of the bed they both stopped. Anna caressed her hands over John's face and stood on tiptoe while pulling his face to hers. The slower pace gave them time to enjoy the sensation of their lips meeting again while their bodies fluctuated against one another.

Anna bent slightly when the bed hit the back of her knees and succumbed to the lean John pressed on her. He caught them before they could fall and spread Anna gently on the bed. His kisses moved over her face, touching every inch of skin, and moved to her neck to lay a trail there like he wanted breadcrumbs to guide him home.

Her hands lifted the edge of his shirt, sliding her hands beneath the hanging tails, and massaging skin she only felt next to her for so long instead of where she wanted it: all over her. With John leaving her more relaxed by the moment, Anna struggled to lift the shirt over his head. The buttons caught and they both paused a moment to smile before Anna's deft fingers worked each one loose enough to leave it billowing to the ground.

At the sight of his chest Anna could almost taste the rise in herself. She leaned forward, ignoring John's protests, and laid a trail of kisses there to match the one he tried to make over her neck. With fingers teasing and tangling over his skin and in the hair there, John's panting breaths vibrated back into her own body. And when he hissed through his clenched teeth at the feel of her mouth and tongue over his nipples Anna knew she held the upper hand.

But John's hands were not idle. They sculpted up her shirt and caught the fabric about her arms. His fingers traced the edge of her bra and unclasped it in the bag to let it hang from her shoulders. It was enough space to sneak his hands forward and knead at her until the massage had her pulling back to keen in the half-light of their room.

Ceasing the opportunity, John lifted her shirt off her head and snuck away her bra so they both pressed skin to skin from the waist up. Anna reveled in the feel of him again, the coarse brush of her breasts against his chest that sent shivers through her body. And especially the weight of him above her.

John's kisses renewed their intensity and this time they did not stop until he reached her breasts. Then they attacked at her, drawing at her skin and nipples to leave her writhing beneath him, and only stopped when she forced his head up to kiss her again. It slowed their motions, leaving them both dancing between the speed and exhilaration of one moment while basking in the sensual slide of the next.

Anna ran her leg over his, the harsh scrape of the fabrics there disrupting the moment enough for John to shuck off his trousers and boxers before licking his lips at her. She shivered under his gaze and raised her arms above her head as John kissed down her chest to the line of her jeans. He flicked the button loose and opened her zipper before stepping back and tugging her jeans off her legs.

With an arch of her back to lift her hips, Anna felt her legs meet the open air and licked her lips at the sight of John standing at the end of the bed. He caught her eyes and grinned back as he knelt at the edge of the bed. Taking her right foot in hand, John began with a ring of kisses over her ankle before trailing up toward her calf and thigh.

When he reached the line of her knickers there he skipped over them, chasing the edge to find her left hip, and then worked back down that leg. Anna whined and John circled her ankles with his fingers to slide her over the bed so her feet hit the carpet. Managing to lift herself on her elbows Anna watched John lower his mouth to her knickers and run his tongue over the fabric.

She fell back onto the bed, keening at the scrape of his teeth and tongue through the fabric. John glided the knickers down her legs and let them fly to another side of the room before returning to his occupation. With fingers massaging in even strokes over her folds while flicking consistently at her nerves, his tongue delved as deeply as it could to suck and sip at her until Anna thrashed about with unintelligible words escaping her mouth.

John switched the focus of his fingers and mouth, trading locations to roll his tongue over her nerves while his hand worked fingers inside her. The clench of her muscles and the stranglehold they tried to gain as he skimmed the spot inside her reflected in Anna's clutching of the duvet under her. Everything burned and squeezed until it was all she could do to even think about breathing.

And then she did not think at all.

Coming with a cry of John's name her body arched on the bed to almost pop at her shoulders. But she settled back on the bed, heaving air into her strangled lungs, and sighed as John moved around the bed to help slide her toward the pillows. Her head rested heavily on them, leaving her to lazily watch John climb onto the bed beside her.

Anna reached out, her hand weak but determined, and gripped him tightly. John gasped, grunting when she maneuvered her hand over him to squeeze and hold the pulsing heat. He almost tumbled over her, just catching himself with a hand, and Anna forced her legs to respond to her… even though they felt like gelatin. With John settled there and his scorching erection in her hand, Anna lifted her hips toward him.

It only took a thrust to put John where they both wanted him to be. They sighed together, losing the speed of a moment ago to relish the nirvana of the moment. When their eyes met John pulled back, until his tip barely settled at her opening, and then rammed back inside her.

The pace fluctuated. Her nails digging into his back and side when John drove at a crushing pace and her fingers delving toward his ass when he slowed. Neither could decide a rhythm they liked better so they chased them both. When Anna shifted her hips slightly then John's pubic bone pressed and ground at her nerves, leaving her moaning at the sensation. And when her hand fingered his sack, almost by accident, John gritted his teeth and drove into her one last time to finish.

Final stuttering motions from his body tipped Anna over the precipice again. She gasped into his neck as John's weight collapsed partially on top of her. Her legs tightened around his waist when he tried to move and her arms held him close.

"Not yet." She murmured in the dark, "I don't want you to go yet."

They lay there until John finally had the strength to rise. He held her hand in his, moving to lay beside her, and kissed over it as she turned to look at him. They smiled and he ran the back of his hand over her cheek.

"We've hope now, Anna."

"Yes we do." She trailed her fingers over his face, leaning forward to kiss him. "We can dream again."

"Every morning I wake up next to you is the best dream." John kissed over her hand before placing it at his heart. "You're my dream."

"I'm glad." Anna shook her head into the pillow. "Because the moment you sideswiped my car you were my dream."

"And now we'll build more dreams together."

"Speaking of that." Anna lifted herself onto her arm, "I'd like to discuss an idea with you about what to do with our house."

"What about our house?" John frowned, "I thought we only wanted to add a small porch on our bedroom."

"For the second floor, yes, but we've got a bloody castle John and I want to put it to good use."

John smiled, "And what do you want to do with it Mrs. Bates?"

"I think we should look into the idea of adopting some children to help us fill all those rooms."

"I thought we were going to fill those rooms with Baby Bateses?"

"Those too." Anna kissed his forehead, stroking his hair back. "But I think we could do some good and we need to."

"Don't we already with the company?"

"We can do more John." Anna sat up as John joined her, "I've been feeling it, since you suggested adoption, and I think we should."

"It's a lot of work Anna."

She grinned, "And when have I not been up for that?"

"Never," John conceded, "But I want you to be sure."

"I am." Anna took his hand, "Let's build a family John."

"Well," His fingers caressed up her side and Anna flinched to avoid the tickle, "I think I know a way we can do that this minute."

"Oh do you?" She teased and then squealed when John lay back and pulled he rover him. "Ready again already?"

"For you? Always." He held her face, "I love you, Anna May Smith Bates."

"And I love you, John Bates." Anna kissed him, pulling back to leave him whining, "I believe there's something else I need to attend to… if you want me there that is."

"Please."

"My pleasure," Anna grinned to slide down him.

"I think it'll be my pleasure."

"I'm sure we can share it." Anna paused, waiting for John to meet her eyes. "Like everything else."

"Like everything else."

With that, Anna set to work and did not stop until they were both crying out loud enough to disturb the other rooms again.