p style="text-align: center;" data-p-id="fa1ccc235d73cddb476ccf858bf0f747"em-/embr /emKat's POV /embr /em-/em/p
p data-p-id="fb72652cd767134cf93aa928738a0cbc"I couldn't sleep anymore. I found myself just staring up at the blank ceiling, even though it was early in the morning./p
p data-p-id="d2ed7b050397bfe16325b6d0a0c36c9c"The door creaked when Sarah walked in. She was already dressed for work, her hair done up and everything./p
p data-p-id="c69474951ec9e37b033ff396f9a91784""I'm sorry, did I wake you?" she whispered./p
p data-p-id="51f1a6febf3c5671e588f0c048213e5e"I shook my head as I slowly sat up. My rib was screaming throughout the whole process of shifting, but I tried not to focus on it./p
p data-p-id="1e11130e6d24842b16370323f7c8227d""I've been awake. Are you going to work?" I asked./p
p data-p-id="3ceca9ae2381f1bb2fd7b41fc9795a5c"She nodded. "Yeah. But don't worry, Kyle will be here all day. Did Ellie wake you? I'm so sorry, she hasn't been sleeping well-"/p
p data-p-id="1e85492aa5152dac817c89b78d28a428"I stopped her before she got too far. "Ellie's fine. It wasn't her," I assured her./p
p data-p-id="abcb53370c9c65edbf5f3f2b861c689f""Okay. Well there's the TV remote," she pointed over at my bedside table, "but this one over here is the only one that will change the volume. We don't know why. Your phone is here, and I put some tissues out for you. The bathroom is right there," she nodded toward the end of the guest room, "and Kyle should be up soon. He'll probably make breakfast."/p
p data-p-id="7803c6efcf875737aec5d3cc520d7c0e"I just nodded again. "Thank you."/p
p data-p-id="f11c150a8e2216cf556175b4e84af7a0"Sarah looked worried. It was obvious she wanted to help, but wasn't sure how. "Do you need anything? I can get you a glass of water."/p
p data-p-id="372f438ef6c4fec756a0f4c856e9aa65"I tried to give her a good smile. "I'm fine, really. Go to work, make some money."/p
p data-p-id="ea976e4332dd3a59d3c421202b3abe52"She gave me a sympathetic smile and squeezed my hand once before she left, shutting me off from everyone once again./p
p data-p-id="8fe6646ddb6084e2f5133ba11fb7a473"I sighed as I glanced at the bedside table. I could watch TV, but I wasn't feeling it. It would just hurt my eyes anyway. My eyes drifted over to my phone. I longed to call someone, anyone. I just wanted to hear the voices of my friends./p
p data-p-id="c9886a4b6d909854ba747d2d463c02e5"Well, there was one person in particular that I missed hearing from. He could be annoying and sometimes I wasn't sure what I was going to do with him, but I loved him. It was too quiet when he wasn't around./p
p data-p-id="b40ba03574e940679926cc647890d3ee"I glanced at my engagement ring as I started thinking about Shawn. I twisted it around and around on my finger, thinking about if I should call him. I knew he would be happy to hear from me, but I didn't know where he was or what time it was there. I didn't want to wake him./p
p data-p-id="2b22cdaf17b20beedf6f41b316a54f05"We all knew how that usually turned out./p
p data-p-id="845f070d8f9d19efe8150df6391bc810"Eventually I let my heart give in and I grabbed my cellphone to dial him up./p
p data-p-id="4d9d49e2cba1505e535845fd502abd5d""Yeah?" My heart jumped just hearing his voice. I missed him so much./p
p data-p-id="e9af59886f52fb9b2c229284cf0bfd8f""You're supposed to say 'hello'," I joked. I could feel a smile creeping onto my face./p
p data-p-id="bd646be18b858c3cf20af00fa8cab056""Kat?" Shawn asked. He sounded so excited. "How are you?"/p
p data-p-id="374cf80bd698abbb5a750369c96a5a8a""I... don't want to talk about me. I'm bored out of my mind," I replied. "What are you doing?"/p
p data-p-id="e4f44b93f84c3dae7f8866c8803db843""Like right now?" he asked. When I answered with a noise sort of like "mhm", he continued, "I'm taking a shit."/p
p data-p-id="5c0f42f489769b17ea5e3b31db2f1e83"I shook my head, even though he couldn't see me. "Not quite the thrill I was seeking."/p
p data-p-id="4ac56b4de2a04075b037661f88a8d4f1""Sorry to disappoint," he responded. I couldn't help but laugh. He was something./p
p data-p-id="1011b453d013e6c76ffe55ae1a67b203""No, really. There's nothing to do here except stare at the far wall. I want to know what you guys are up to," I told him./p
p data-p-id="bcb5c251d2f5c3b4697375cc991ac231"He seemed to not want to answer me. For a second I thought I had lost him./p
p data-p-id="87c9ab7f6be007d4d27b02622624fa51""You're, uh... you're going to be pretty upset with me," he finally said./p
p data-p-id="4754e14bf0db30249b9fec4e1ab4a1c6"I tried to prepare myself, but that was hard, seeing as I didn't know what I was preparing for. "...Why? What did you do?"/p
p data-p-id="07b7ec5bbc5c01781d133d3578a175ba""You always assume I did something." Now he was stalling. Maybe that game worked when we first met, but I was too smart for that now./p
p data-p-id="e717adb9a7f615adc24d32eb1064468a""You just told me you did something. Spit it out, Michael Shawn," I demanded. I knew using his first name would let him know I was serious. He was scaring me./p
p data-p-id="27a880635776e7a3621713bb8143abd3"He sighed. "Fine, fine, Mom, I'll tell you. I got in a fight with Bret."/p
p data-p-id="42b63d543263db6a4a2668543fb1557d"I wanted to scold him for calling me "Mom", but I was caught on the last part of his speech./p
p data-p-id="bf6dd8875c176897c817c2a9a8b8e225""You did emwhat/em? Are you okay? Why-"/p
p data-p-id="9b8ac7899300576b7717e7718d80ec0b"He cut me off. "See? This is why I didn't want to tell you. This is why I don't tell you things."/p
p data-p-id="920f2615d1aa0e02446aca5cac2598ba"I shook my head as I tried to settle down. "I'm sorry. Just tell me what happened."/p
p data-p-id="fc67929e2afb681c27084f3fafdcceab""The son of a bitch said something about the baby, and-" he cut off suddenly, cursing himself under his breath./p
p data-p-id="00bc5b43ea59e64c5138ffa5a531e5e8""Shawn? He said what?" I asked. He was confusing me. I had gotten at least a little used to all my confusion recently, but this was different. This wasn't because my head was messing with me. This was Shawn./p
p data-p-id="40bd0c7df577ba8d30fe17eca7ba83c7""He, um, he said something I didn't like, so I took a shot at him," he finished. "Paul held me back before we got too into it."/p
p data-p-id="97a861223af852f0b5c5c4015e956bde"I sighed. "Shawn... what am I going to do with you?"/p
p data-p-id="76f644a39a80960c7d76b12cf82cde13""Well I know several things you could do with me, but they all involve sex, so..."/p
p data-p-id="ac1983859888df8259eb2b26c6d0bae2"He was changing the subject, but I let him. I just chuckled along. "Is that so?"/p
p data-p-id="d7bdbd3a431692a70c59f1d863954b92""Yep. It sucks that you aren't actually here to do them," he said. Somehow I understood what he was really trying to say./p
p data-p-id="70154dff0d327d930685bc9c9566de44""I miss you too," I told him. "I really wish I was out on the road with you guys."/p
p data-p-id="1a1b63f8be88cf495e5a4206bebe4e86""I'm sorry, Kat. You shouldn't be injured. If I would have just-"/p
p data-p-id="777b41a95ff94a061e2da46e3a87f28f""Shh... don't you dare try to pin this one on yourself, Shawn. I won't let you," I declared. "It was a car accident; they happen every It was not your fault./em"/p
p data-p-id="1437f2feff3eaad75d92235e82ce571d"He let out another sigh. I could picture him running a hand through his hair. "I know, but if I wouldn't have made you mad in the first place, we would have left sooner and none of it would have even happened."/p
p data-p-id="90e8b73f20599c74cef3ce0bc97cdd96"I tried thinking back, but I was coming up with mostly blank. "Honestly, Shawn, I can't even remember what you did to make me mad." I remembered a little about being upset, then kissing Shawn at the arena, but that was pretty much it./p
p data-p-id="fcd253512d4c682bb68571a0e790be8e""Right," he answered. "Amnesia." I had meant to lift the burden from his shoulders, but it sounded like I just made it worse. I hated that I made him feel like that./p
p data-p-id="fbace82c2fde78d0e454c740ff4ee1c6""Yeah, baby. My head is royally messed up right now. But do you know what I can remember?" A small, almost sad, smile grew on my face. "That I love you more than anything. And I can't wait to be Mrs. Katherine Hickenbottom." The thought truly made me happy. Those would be the days: the days when Shawn and I didn't have any troubles, we were just happy. Married and happy. Our own happily ever after./p
p data-p-id="ffa9f358665d40ba046ae8f0aa52d279""I love you too, babe," he finally said. I hoped he wouldn't keep obsessing over the crash. "I have to go, okay? I miss you."/p
p data-p-id="326898775816f0150bb70a8579bbe707""...Bye," I whispered as I heard the click of the call ending./p
p data-p-id="b0ef232e09c08c38aa504621b8fc6945"I pulled the phone away from my face and shut it, dropping it back on the nightstand. It was too quiet. I wished more than anything that I could be out with Paul and Shawn right then, getting into all kinds of shit. It didn't even matter to me what we would be doing./p
p data-p-id="3ec0da8f0dca76e76ff253394e103d17"I was jolted from my thoughts as the door to my room opened. Kyle walked in hesitantly, carrying a crying Ellie. He was trying to comfort her, but she wasn't having it./p
p data-p-id="a4b9bc4ffecce15c31c0a7cc73ad48ad""Wow, it's dark in here, isn't it?" he exclaimed./p
p data-p-id="0d926626dc34d19db0c9934f9e5dc918""I like it dark," I responded. "The light hurts."/p
p data-p-id="690beb6ed5b53ec764db5e693c821986"He nodded, seemingly understanding. "Can you hold Ellie for a minute so I can get breakfast going?"/p
p data-p-id="edb2bea222b59da5c308c8fc0a80d05b"I accepted happily, holding my arms out to take the little girl. By the time Kyle came back, I had calmed her down./p
p data-p-id="15514ff0309c2b8d5132aa642cc088db""You're really good with her," he told me./p
p data-p-id="33c3016202814498d54adf9b51387a19"I smiled down at the little brunette in my arms. "Really?"/p
p data-p-id="fbd03d9b7e4648633f3df30d2a3d8b66"Kyle nodded again. "You would make a good mom."/p
p data-p-id="ac9c5b2c86214194d5569b11ab92ef2b"I was flattered, but what he told me reminded me of something Shawn said earlier. Next time I talked to him, I was going to have to ask what he meant by "the baby"./p
p data-p-id="717f1eea511414242a56045feaa4263d"But for now, I would sit, and play with the baby already in my lap, and get better so I could turn my dreams into realityem./em/p
p data-p-id="fb72652cd767134cf93aa928738a0cbc"I couldn't sleep anymore. I found myself just staring up at the blank ceiling, even though it was early in the morning./p
p data-p-id="d2ed7b050397bfe16325b6d0a0c36c9c"The door creaked when Sarah walked in. She was already dressed for work, her hair done up and everything./p
p data-p-id="c69474951ec9e37b033ff396f9a91784""I'm sorry, did I wake you?" she whispered./p
p data-p-id="51f1a6febf3c5671e588f0c048213e5e"I shook my head as I slowly sat up. My rib was screaming throughout the whole process of shifting, but I tried not to focus on it./p
p data-p-id="1e11130e6d24842b16370323f7c8227d""I've been awake. Are you going to work?" I asked./p
p data-p-id="3ceca9ae2381f1bb2fd7b41fc9795a5c"She nodded. "Yeah. But don't worry, Kyle will be here all day. Did Ellie wake you? I'm so sorry, she hasn't been sleeping well-"/p
p data-p-id="1e85492aa5152dac817c89b78d28a428"I stopped her before she got too far. "Ellie's fine. It wasn't her," I assured her./p
p data-p-id="abcb53370c9c65edbf5f3f2b861c689f""Okay. Well there's the TV remote," she pointed over at my bedside table, "but this one over here is the only one that will change the volume. We don't know why. Your phone is here, and I put some tissues out for you. The bathroom is right there," she nodded toward the end of the guest room, "and Kyle should be up soon. He'll probably make breakfast."/p
p data-p-id="7803c6efcf875737aec5d3cc520d7c0e"I just nodded again. "Thank you."/p
p data-p-id="f11c150a8e2216cf556175b4e84af7a0"Sarah looked worried. It was obvious she wanted to help, but wasn't sure how. "Do you need anything? I can get you a glass of water."/p
p data-p-id="372f438ef6c4fec756a0f4c856e9aa65"I tried to give her a good smile. "I'm fine, really. Go to work, make some money."/p
p data-p-id="ea976e4332dd3a59d3c421202b3abe52"She gave me a sympathetic smile and squeezed my hand once before she left, shutting me off from everyone once again./p
p data-p-id="8fe6646ddb6084e2f5133ba11fb7a473"I sighed as I glanced at the bedside table. I could watch TV, but I wasn't feeling it. It would just hurt my eyes anyway. My eyes drifted over to my phone. I longed to call someone, anyone. I just wanted to hear the voices of my friends./p
p data-p-id="c9886a4b6d909854ba747d2d463c02e5"Well, there was one person in particular that I missed hearing from. He could be annoying and sometimes I wasn't sure what I was going to do with him, but I loved him. It was too quiet when he wasn't around./p
p data-p-id="b40ba03574e940679926cc647890d3ee"I glanced at my engagement ring as I started thinking about Shawn. I twisted it around and around on my finger, thinking about if I should call him. I knew he would be happy to hear from me, but I didn't know where he was or what time it was there. I didn't want to wake him./p
p data-p-id="2b22cdaf17b20beedf6f41b316a54f05"We all knew how that usually turned out./p
p data-p-id="845f070d8f9d19efe8150df6391bc810"Eventually I let my heart give in and I grabbed my cellphone to dial him up./p
p data-p-id="4d9d49e2cba1505e535845fd502abd5d""Yeah?" My heart jumped just hearing his voice. I missed him so much./p
p data-p-id="e9af59886f52fb9b2c229284cf0bfd8f""You're supposed to say 'hello'," I joked. I could feel a smile creeping onto my face./p
p data-p-id="bd646be18b858c3cf20af00fa8cab056""Kat?" Shawn asked. He sounded so excited. "How are you?"/p
p data-p-id="374cf80bd698abbb5a750369c96a5a8a""I... don't want to talk about me. I'm bored out of my mind," I replied. "What are you doing?"/p
p data-p-id="e4f44b93f84c3dae7f8866c8803db843""Like right now?" he asked. When I answered with a noise sort of like "mhm", he continued, "I'm taking a shit."/p
p data-p-id="5c0f42f489769b17ea5e3b31db2f1e83"I shook my head, even though he couldn't see me. "Not quite the thrill I was seeking."/p
p data-p-id="4ac56b4de2a04075b037661f88a8d4f1""Sorry to disappoint," he responded. I couldn't help but laugh. He was something./p
p data-p-id="1011b453d013e6c76ffe55ae1a67b203""No, really. There's nothing to do here except stare at the far wall. I want to know what you guys are up to," I told him./p
p data-p-id="bcb5c251d2f5c3b4697375cc991ac231"He seemed to not want to answer me. For a second I thought I had lost him./p
p data-p-id="87c9ab7f6be007d4d27b02622624fa51""You're, uh... you're going to be pretty upset with me," he finally said./p
p data-p-id="4754e14bf0db30249b9fec4e1ab4a1c6"I tried to prepare myself, but that was hard, seeing as I didn't know what I was preparing for. "...Why? What did you do?"/p
p data-p-id="07b7ec5bbc5c01781d133d3578a175ba""You always assume I did something." Now he was stalling. Maybe that game worked when we first met, but I was too smart for that now./p
p data-p-id="e717adb9a7f615adc24d32eb1064468a""You just told me you did something. Spit it out, Michael Shawn," I demanded. I knew using his first name would let him know I was serious. He was scaring me./p
p data-p-id="27a880635776e7a3621713bb8143abd3"He sighed. "Fine, fine, Mom, I'll tell you. I got in a fight with Bret."/p
p data-p-id="42b63d543263db6a4a2668543fb1557d"I wanted to scold him for calling me "Mom", but I was caught on the last part of his speech./p
p data-p-id="bf6dd8875c176897c817c2a9a8b8e225""You did emwhat/em? Are you okay? Why-"/p
p data-p-id="9b8ac7899300576b7717e7718d80ec0b"He cut me off. "See? This is why I didn't want to tell you. This is why I don't tell you things."/p
p data-p-id="920f2615d1aa0e02446aca5cac2598ba"I shook my head as I tried to settle down. "I'm sorry. Just tell me what happened."/p
p data-p-id="fc67929e2afb681c27084f3fafdcceab""The son of a bitch said something about the baby, and-" he cut off suddenly, cursing himself under his breath./p
p data-p-id="00bc5b43ea59e64c5138ffa5a531e5e8""Shawn? He said what?" I asked. He was confusing me. I had gotten at least a little used to all my confusion recently, but this was different. This wasn't because my head was messing with me. This was Shawn./p
p data-p-id="40bd0c7df577ba8d30fe17eca7ba83c7""He, um, he said something I didn't like, so I took a shot at him," he finished. "Paul held me back before we got too into it."/p
p data-p-id="97a861223af852f0b5c5c4015e956bde"I sighed. "Shawn... what am I going to do with you?"/p
p data-p-id="76f644a39a80960c7d76b12cf82cde13""Well I know several things you could do with me, but they all involve sex, so..."/p
p data-p-id="ac1983859888df8259eb2b26c6d0bae2"He was changing the subject, but I let him. I just chuckled along. "Is that so?"/p
p data-p-id="d7bdbd3a431692a70c59f1d863954b92""Yep. It sucks that you aren't actually here to do them," he said. Somehow I understood what he was really trying to say./p
p data-p-id="70154dff0d327d930685bc9c9566de44""I miss you too," I told him. "I really wish I was out on the road with you guys."/p
p data-p-id="1a1b63f8be88cf495e5a4206bebe4e86""I'm sorry, Kat. You shouldn't be injured. If I would have just-"/p
p data-p-id="777b41a95ff94a061e2da46e3a87f28f""Shh... don't you dare try to pin this one on yourself, Shawn. I won't let you," I declared. "It was a car accident; they happen every It was not your fault./em"/p
p data-p-id="1437f2feff3eaad75d92235e82ce571d"He let out another sigh. I could picture him running a hand through his hair. "I know, but if I wouldn't have made you mad in the first place, we would have left sooner and none of it would have even happened."/p
p data-p-id="90e8b73f20599c74cef3ce0bc97cdd96"I tried thinking back, but I was coming up with mostly blank. "Honestly, Shawn, I can't even remember what you did to make me mad." I remembered a little about being upset, then kissing Shawn at the arena, but that was pretty much it./p
p data-p-id="fcd253512d4c682bb68571a0e790be8e""Right," he answered. "Amnesia." I had meant to lift the burden from his shoulders, but it sounded like I just made it worse. I hated that I made him feel like that./p
p data-p-id="fbace82c2fde78d0e454c740ff4ee1c6""Yeah, baby. My head is royally messed up right now. But do you know what I can remember?" A small, almost sad, smile grew on my face. "That I love you more than anything. And I can't wait to be Mrs. Katherine Hickenbottom." The thought truly made me happy. Those would be the days: the days when Shawn and I didn't have any troubles, we were just happy. Married and happy. Our own happily ever after./p
p data-p-id="ffa9f358665d40ba046ae8f0aa52d279""I love you too, babe," he finally said. I hoped he wouldn't keep obsessing over the crash. "I have to go, okay? I miss you."/p
p data-p-id="326898775816f0150bb70a8579bbe707""...Bye," I whispered as I heard the click of the call ending./p
p data-p-id="b0ef232e09c08c38aa504621b8fc6945"I pulled the phone away from my face and shut it, dropping it back on the nightstand. It was too quiet. I wished more than anything that I could be out with Paul and Shawn right then, getting into all kinds of shit. It didn't even matter to me what we would be doing./p
p data-p-id="3ec0da8f0dca76e76ff253394e103d17"I was jolted from my thoughts as the door to my room opened. Kyle walked in hesitantly, carrying a crying Ellie. He was trying to comfort her, but she wasn't having it./p
p data-p-id="a4b9bc4ffecce15c31c0a7cc73ad48ad""Wow, it's dark in here, isn't it?" he exclaimed./p
p data-p-id="0d926626dc34d19db0c9934f9e5dc918""I like it dark," I responded. "The light hurts."/p
p data-p-id="690beb6ed5b53ec764db5e693c821986"He nodded, seemingly understanding. "Can you hold Ellie for a minute so I can get breakfast going?"/p
p data-p-id="edb2bea222b59da5c308c8fc0a80d05b"I accepted happily, holding my arms out to take the little girl. By the time Kyle came back, I had calmed her down./p
p data-p-id="15514ff0309c2b8d5132aa642cc088db""You're really good with her," he told me./p
p data-p-id="33c3016202814498d54adf9b51387a19"I smiled down at the little brunette in my arms. "Really?"/p
p data-p-id="fbd03d9b7e4648633f3df30d2a3d8b66"Kyle nodded again. "You would make a good mom."/p
p data-p-id="ac9c5b2c86214194d5569b11ab92ef2b"I was flattered, but what he told me reminded me of something Shawn said earlier. Next time I talked to him, I was going to have to ask what he meant by "the baby"./p
p data-p-id="717f1eea511414242a56045feaa4263d"But for now, I would sit, and play with the baby already in my lap, and get better so I could turn my dreams into realityem./em/p