Growing up, things were hard. Right off the bat everyone expected me to be this perfect child, but that was never going to be the case… Little did everyone know I had significant "disabilities" that hurt their dream. Everyday I felt like I screwed everything up, no matter what I did I could never get it right! Everything in my world was dark before this magical moment… I would cry myself to sleep every night as a kid, completely wounded that I couldn't meet everyone's expectations and fearing for what lay ahead of me; what was I was about to go through? Was it gonna suck every little detail about my fantasies away and force me to focus on things that didn't matter? I had no idea and I'd lay there and cry for hours and hours worrying about what other big mistakes that I would make later on in life… No one understood or cared to understand what I was going through, they just saw my "disabilities" and were set on trying to make me work my ass off to correct everything that wasn't perfect. They just assumed that I had to do all the work to be "normal", to "fit in". They never thought what they could do to make it easier for me; it was up to me to get way up there on their high level. And just when I got that next step, everyone was another step ahead! What was the point of trying if your always gonna get left behind? I was so alone as a child and still am because no one understands what its like to be me. They see the As and think, "She's got it easy!", but thats it I don't have it close to easy.
Things couldn't be any worse right now because everyone assumes that I can just do the damn assignment faster than they can, but all they see is the good grade and not all of the countless hours I spent on it completely traumatized of the what will happen to me if it isn't perfect. But back to me as a kid… When they made that moment a reality, I was so young and barely starting my school career, but already drowning in how behind I was. When I saw it for the first time, my jaw just dropped! I mean how could a girl like that get a job like that and then fall in love with the perfect guy!? She was shy and corny. She seemed to be just like me, like she was always behind, but somehow making it all work. Watching her as a kid was the only thing that gave me peace about my future and to just keep pushing on. Because of her, I never gave up. But little did I know how hard of a ride I had just settled myself for… I've literally been to hell and back trying to fit myself into this tiny yellow box they call school because they forced me to.
The girl and guy from that magical moment meant everything to me, and this is how I think they met, how they dated, and what tore them apart. Baby V and Mr. Zman, though often overlooked, underestimated, shamed, and treated like kids, are the best and most underestimated actors/singers/dancers of their time. Its been 12 years since it came out and they couldn't be further from each other… Yet there is hope, you just have to choose to stick around and bear with me. I mean who thought you'd be reading a Dyslexic's composition!? Yep you read that right, I'm dyslexic! If there's anything I've learned through this journey of hardship without a cause, its to keep pushing forward, knowing there's hope. It may be far, far into the future but its there waiting for you and sometimes it disguises itself for you to work for it. But none the less its there. I mean I'm here writing you a story, I a dyslexic am writing you a story! See sometimes hope disguises itself and boy am I glad I listened to my dumb oppressors and kept on practicing my writing? Right I mean come on? But anyway trust me you might want to stick around for this story…