p style="text-align: center;" data-p-id="f056b06243b6126f4173e735b44cb366"em-/embr /emKat's POV/embr /em-/em/p
p data-p-id="dc9dbafcbf27401ac7ef881e38e2128a"Shawn and I took the opportunity to lay in bed most of the day. I didn't want to move from the warmth of his arms. Everything was good in the world when he held me. I just wanted to lay there on his chest and listen to his heartbeat for as long as possible. The rest of the world could wait./p
p data-p-id="d442e78cb80314b3f6798a2953529f00"I was content to cuddle with him all day, but I guess he was feeling a bit restless. I could understand; that was how I felt when I was staying with Sarah./p
p data-p-id="c453ed0d82ad112a4d71f02c9a39f996"He wanted to shower, but he did offer for me to join him. Like hell I was going to refuse. It was so good to have him back./p
p data-p-id="f4e1efd1b78ee5028939a260381170a5"There was one thing nagging at me, though. I had something I wanted to talk to him about, but I didn't want to ruin the nice, calm day we were having./p
p data-p-id="de8e90bd24945b50b5a8e7a4c2956691"I jumped when I heard Shawn chuckle from behind me. When I turned, he was still wearing his towel around his waist. "You looked so deep in thought," he told me./p
p data-p-id="701b1a8cb32c30412d8b5f331a27f0a2"I was already dressed in comfy pants and one of Shawn's sweatshirts. I loved wearing his shirts; they made me feel safe. "I was," I admitted. I took a seat back on the bed, facing him. I had minimal pain from my rib, but it was there./p
p data-p-id="f4ea05609e167747fd2d73210b5f0ae1"I watched as he began getting dressed. "About?" he asked./p
p data-p-id="23b9c6a81d8f926ecdb4e49ffdc11cd1"I wasn't sure if it would be better to just make something up and shelve my true thoughts for later. But then I would be lying, and hadn't we just agreed we would talk to each other? I took a deep breath before biting the bullet. Which, of course, just gave me more pain in my rib. "I wanted to ask you about something you said a while ago."/p
p data-p-id="faacc00b69610e3a8ec8405ef59f76c5"He seemed to almost regret asking, but he came to sit next to me anyway. "Shoot," he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder./p
p data-p-id="c8b79505503d70754050932feae586a9""I... I wanted to ask about 'the baby'." I wasn't even sure he could hear me, I had muttered it so quietly. But I knew he did after I felt him tense up./p
p data-p-id="d8bfd1ff15168cee8cf0b5011c0500d5""Kat-"/p
p data-p-id="524e45eca3c0c9b4e3af49a234f96f97""I don't want bullshit," I whispered. "Don't give me bullshit. I just... I just want to know. Nothing recently has made any sense, and you're the one thing that is always supposed to." I paused for just a moment to gather my thoughts. "I know I was super out of it, but I know neither of my injuries require several days in the hospital. I should have been sent home as soon as I woke up, but I wasn't," I rambled. Recently I had been trying to piece together my memories from after the crash, but it didn't seem to add up./p
p data-p-id="b6748a2506206467d61956034beed82f"Shawn took a long time to answer. When he did, he avoided my eyes. "Um... you were, well... you were pregnant, Kat." It was hard for him to say, and hard to hear. Before I could even focus on the "were", Shawn answered that question for me. "You... the crash triggered a miscarriage."/p
p data-p-id="d7a2ef1532c85bb6e1d4eee5ff73a2b5"I didn't know what to say or how to react. The only thing that came to mind was, "I knew it." Shawn was confused, but I wasn't even thinking of him anymore. My thoughts were far away. "I knew I was pregnant," I muttered./p
p data-p-id="8f909cd7b41f473aedefa0704261972f"The morning sickness that I tried to pull off as a virus for a month. My period that was late-far too late. I had just been denying it./p
p data-p-id="e5e1ba72c442699943ac5b5040b7a7ee""What?" Shawn questioned. He pulled his arm away, and I knew I messed up. "When did you plan on telling me?"/p
p data-p-id="11fb42e67c166ffe7f003a034954f65c"em"When were you going to tell me yourself?"/em My own voice rang through my head. A memory of fighting with Shawn, the day of the crash, flashed through my head./p
p data-p-id="fa02c2bfae5272212e405807715f61b8"em"I probably wouldn't have."/em/p
p data-p-id="c196249c1d60beb1c9dbf858563b33dc""I... I was hoping I was wrong," I confessed. The thought of me being pregnant was too scary to even consider, at least that was what I thought when I was denying it./p
p data-p-id="9ecfd5b392089271928173f8bc62e924"Shawn took it all wrong. I should have known he would. I should have worded it better. That wasn't what I meant./p
p data-p-id="1678596a04ac0110491d141b1709761b""So you don't want to have my kid?" He made it sound almost like a statement. He stood, moving away from me./p
p data-p-id="852f3d6bf3fb1b19d83d376483e91d29"I reached for him, but he was too far. "Shawn, no. You know we've talked about having kids, but..." I couldn't find my words. "Shawn, I'm only 21 years old, I-" I couldn't continue, because I was getting choked up. This was all a lot to handle./p
p data-p-id="4a11104e9e98e9edab22f03a2b1cc4aa"Shawn softened when he saw me. "Hey, hey," he cooed. He sat back down and pulled me to him. Shawn let me cry softly into his chest for a minute. I thought he was tearing up too./p
p data-p-id="4ea221d9f1c94a28a107accd6bdbc435"I had two reasons to be upset: for one, I wasn't ready to be a mom. But then, the fact that the prospect had been taking from me was... I didn't have a word for it./p
p data-p-id="da92caa72b02c6a0d96e83153a686037"I wanted to make myself clear, but I didn't know how. "I do want kids, but... right now? I'm... I... I can't," I sobbed./p
p data-p-id="d7fedc460cb856a54bb4f72798855c93""Shh... Kat, it's okay. I didn't mean-I wasn't accusing you." Shawn stroked my hair, trying to comfort me. It did help. "You know me, I overreact."/p
p data-p-id="7e918be78e365cee1d47517563b5280b"I nodded; I did know him. His little outburst wasn't even what upset me. Somehow, after everything since the accident, it just felt right to cry. I needed it, and so did he. We stayed like that for a little while, just comforting each other with our presence./p
p data-p-id="daf309c8bfdbd2eab89f3764e8875d90""I should have told you sooner," he eventually spoke. "I've just been keeping this from you, since it happened. I just couldn't."/p
p data-p-id="3beabd1ad04e15a741d1591e2c238f3d"I sniffled. "I'm glad you didn't. My head is almost better now, and I think this is something I should have actual memories from," I answered. I knew it was painful, but it was important./p
p data-p-id="515d50edd838f8dfaf687c70dfdc251b""If you wouldn't have asked... I might never have told you," he admitted. He was so determined for me to recognize him as being at fault. But none of this was his fault, whether he believed it or not./p
p data-p-id="c8c0b790c6cdc7c593319326f83d6312"I looked up at him. "This isn't something we can just forget about." I wanted to make that clear. As much as we might like to./p
p data-p-id="298cd8ff2b45d41292be3bc63ffaa1e8"He kissed my forehead. "I know... I know."/p
p data-p-id="d0629da835df3167b76e0d9fcabb23e2"I buried my head between his neck and shoulder. We had only talked for a few minutes, but I was emotionally exhausted. I was ready to go right back to bed. "I love you," I whispered./p
p data-p-id="198497ba485342635fb7c0fc55823cc6""I love you too," he replied. "No matter what."/p
p data-p-id="b7e24c07b0a3815eb837b16d3fbf0bcb"I knew he had to mean it, because I did./p
p data-p-id="dc9dbafcbf27401ac7ef881e38e2128a"Shawn and I took the opportunity to lay in bed most of the day. I didn't want to move from the warmth of his arms. Everything was good in the world when he held me. I just wanted to lay there on his chest and listen to his heartbeat for as long as possible. The rest of the world could wait./p
p data-p-id="d442e78cb80314b3f6798a2953529f00"I was content to cuddle with him all day, but I guess he was feeling a bit restless. I could understand; that was how I felt when I was staying with Sarah./p
p data-p-id="c453ed0d82ad112a4d71f02c9a39f996"He wanted to shower, but he did offer for me to join him. Like hell I was going to refuse. It was so good to have him back./p
p data-p-id="f4e1efd1b78ee5028939a260381170a5"There was one thing nagging at me, though. I had something I wanted to talk to him about, but I didn't want to ruin the nice, calm day we were having./p
p data-p-id="de8e90bd24945b50b5a8e7a4c2956691"I jumped when I heard Shawn chuckle from behind me. When I turned, he was still wearing his towel around his waist. "You looked so deep in thought," he told me./p
p data-p-id="701b1a8cb32c30412d8b5f331a27f0a2"I was already dressed in comfy pants and one of Shawn's sweatshirts. I loved wearing his shirts; they made me feel safe. "I was," I admitted. I took a seat back on the bed, facing him. I had minimal pain from my rib, but it was there./p
p data-p-id="f4ea05609e167747fd2d73210b5f0ae1"I watched as he began getting dressed. "About?" he asked./p
p data-p-id="23b9c6a81d8f926ecdb4e49ffdc11cd1"I wasn't sure if it would be better to just make something up and shelve my true thoughts for later. But then I would be lying, and hadn't we just agreed we would talk to each other? I took a deep breath before biting the bullet. Which, of course, just gave me more pain in my rib. "I wanted to ask you about something you said a while ago."/p
p data-p-id="faacc00b69610e3a8ec8405ef59f76c5"He seemed to almost regret asking, but he came to sit next to me anyway. "Shoot," he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder./p
p data-p-id="c8b79505503d70754050932feae586a9""I... I wanted to ask about 'the baby'." I wasn't even sure he could hear me, I had muttered it so quietly. But I knew he did after I felt him tense up./p
p data-p-id="d8bfd1ff15168cee8cf0b5011c0500d5""Kat-"/p
p data-p-id="524e45eca3c0c9b4e3af49a234f96f97""I don't want bullshit," I whispered. "Don't give me bullshit. I just... I just want to know. Nothing recently has made any sense, and you're the one thing that is always supposed to." I paused for just a moment to gather my thoughts. "I know I was super out of it, but I know neither of my injuries require several days in the hospital. I should have been sent home as soon as I woke up, but I wasn't," I rambled. Recently I had been trying to piece together my memories from after the crash, but it didn't seem to add up./p
p data-p-id="b6748a2506206467d61956034beed82f"Shawn took a long time to answer. When he did, he avoided my eyes. "Um... you were, well... you were pregnant, Kat." It was hard for him to say, and hard to hear. Before I could even focus on the "were", Shawn answered that question for me. "You... the crash triggered a miscarriage."/p
p data-p-id="d7a2ef1532c85bb6e1d4eee5ff73a2b5"I didn't know what to say or how to react. The only thing that came to mind was, "I knew it." Shawn was confused, but I wasn't even thinking of him anymore. My thoughts were far away. "I knew I was pregnant," I muttered./p
p data-p-id="8f909cd7b41f473aedefa0704261972f"The morning sickness that I tried to pull off as a virus for a month. My period that was late-far too late. I had just been denying it./p
p data-p-id="e5e1ba72c442699943ac5b5040b7a7ee""What?" Shawn questioned. He pulled his arm away, and I knew I messed up. "When did you plan on telling me?"/p
p data-p-id="11fb42e67c166ffe7f003a034954f65c"em"When were you going to tell me yourself?"/em My own voice rang through my head. A memory of fighting with Shawn, the day of the crash, flashed through my head./p
p data-p-id="fa02c2bfae5272212e405807715f61b8"em"I probably wouldn't have."/em/p
p data-p-id="c196249c1d60beb1c9dbf858563b33dc""I... I was hoping I was wrong," I confessed. The thought of me being pregnant was too scary to even consider, at least that was what I thought when I was denying it./p
p data-p-id="9ecfd5b392089271928173f8bc62e924"Shawn took it all wrong. I should have known he would. I should have worded it better. That wasn't what I meant./p
p data-p-id="1678596a04ac0110491d141b1709761b""So you don't want to have my kid?" He made it sound almost like a statement. He stood, moving away from me./p
p data-p-id="852f3d6bf3fb1b19d83d376483e91d29"I reached for him, but he was too far. "Shawn, no. You know we've talked about having kids, but..." I couldn't find my words. "Shawn, I'm only 21 years old, I-" I couldn't continue, because I was getting choked up. This was all a lot to handle./p
p data-p-id="4a11104e9e98e9edab22f03a2b1cc4aa"Shawn softened when he saw me. "Hey, hey," he cooed. He sat back down and pulled me to him. Shawn let me cry softly into his chest for a minute. I thought he was tearing up too./p
p data-p-id="4ea221d9f1c94a28a107accd6bdbc435"I had two reasons to be upset: for one, I wasn't ready to be a mom. But then, the fact that the prospect had been taking from me was... I didn't have a word for it./p
p data-p-id="da92caa72b02c6a0d96e83153a686037"I wanted to make myself clear, but I didn't know how. "I do want kids, but... right now? I'm... I... I can't," I sobbed./p
p data-p-id="d7fedc460cb856a54bb4f72798855c93""Shh... Kat, it's okay. I didn't mean-I wasn't accusing you." Shawn stroked my hair, trying to comfort me. It did help. "You know me, I overreact."/p
p data-p-id="7e918be78e365cee1d47517563b5280b"I nodded; I did know him. His little outburst wasn't even what upset me. Somehow, after everything since the accident, it just felt right to cry. I needed it, and so did he. We stayed like that for a little while, just comforting each other with our presence./p
p data-p-id="daf309c8bfdbd2eab89f3764e8875d90""I should have told you sooner," he eventually spoke. "I've just been keeping this from you, since it happened. I just couldn't."/p
p data-p-id="3beabd1ad04e15a741d1591e2c238f3d"I sniffled. "I'm glad you didn't. My head is almost better now, and I think this is something I should have actual memories from," I answered. I knew it was painful, but it was important./p
p data-p-id="515d50edd838f8dfaf687c70dfdc251b""If you wouldn't have asked... I might never have told you," he admitted. He was so determined for me to recognize him as being at fault. But none of this was his fault, whether he believed it or not./p
p data-p-id="c8c0b790c6cdc7c593319326f83d6312"I looked up at him. "This isn't something we can just forget about." I wanted to make that clear. As much as we might like to./p
p data-p-id="298cd8ff2b45d41292be3bc63ffaa1e8"He kissed my forehead. "I know... I know."/p
p data-p-id="d0629da835df3167b76e0d9fcabb23e2"I buried my head between his neck and shoulder. We had only talked for a few minutes, but I was emotionally exhausted. I was ready to go right back to bed. "I love you," I whispered./p
p data-p-id="198497ba485342635fb7c0fc55823cc6""I love you too," he replied. "No matter what."/p
p data-p-id="b7e24c07b0a3815eb837b16d3fbf0bcb"I knew he had to mean it, because I did./p