My Saviour is My Enemy
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Authors Note: Holy Snapple! Yes, I have updated, written an actual chapter instead of feeding you constant little authors notes. Things are changing in my life, and I am writing more. Which is why I finally dug out my chapter plans for this fan fiction and put my fingers back to the keyboard, revisiting this story. Now, first off you'll notice a rather big change around here… There has been a name change! I am no longer Milana-Despana. I now go as Guardian Author Anon. There are reasons to this, the main one being that my previous name is the name of one of my main characters. Either way, that's enough blather from me. Here I go!
EDIT: Thanks to a lovely reviewer Matsuo Hotaru I had it pointed out to me that I had put in two completely different descriptions as to how and where Sesshomaru and Choemi met. This has been changed and what is placed here now is what happened. What happened was that I wrote up the first half of this chapter months before I finished it off, and I only skimmed it before continuing, completely jumping over the chapters about Choemi... Forgive me this small mistake. Either way, enjoy, I also caught a couple typos and fixed them...
Chapter Fifteen: Strength in Pain
"You are blinded by that which you have lost. I simply hope you are able to notice the beauty of the Miko before you lose her as well…" The words of his beast echoed through Sesshomaru's mind as he sat on the cushioned window sill in his bedroom. He'd retired to his bedroom shortly after Kagome had left his office, at first he'd tried to return to his paperwork. There were duties that needed to be attended to, including a request from the Eastern Lord for a temporary alliance until Naraku was dead and gone. He was fully prepared to meet with the Eastern Lord and talk over the terms of such an alliance. But instead, he found his thoughts plagued by Kagome and the fact that his beast had made it glaringly obvious that it was interested in her. So, giving in to his beast he'd left his office, making his way to his bedroom where he wasted no time in stripping from his usual ceremonial garbs and slipping on a simple pair of navy hakamas and a lighter blue silk haori on over top. After getting dressed he'd looked over to the simple door that separated his and Kagome's room. He could hear her soft breathing coming from her room. It seemed that she had returned to her room only to slip back into a quiet sleep.
He was pleased that she had returned to sleep, it meant less time for her to be awake and feeling the pain of the mark that was marring her flesh. He walked from her door though, making his way over to the large window that lay to the left of his bed. At first he had just stood there, looking out past the window to the lands that had been in his family for hundreds if not thousands of years. His father had been one of the first Demons to settle Japan, there had been others... and the descendants of those Demons also protected the lands that their ancestors had settled. But as he looked to the lands that his father had fought to obtain, his thoughts weren't on those dwelling within that looked to him as a protector and leader. No, his thoughts were not even on the irritation that he was receiving from the other Lords who thought him unwise by not finding a mate to carry an heir for him. Instead, his thoughts were on two women, one of which was lying in the room adjacent to his. The very fact that she was in that room baffled him, what had plagued his mind so much that he had ordered for the Miko to be placed in there.
He supposed he shouldn't have been shocked by his actions though... his inner beast had shown interest in her before, making small nonsensical remarks about her. Especially whenever she stood up to him... or anyone else for that fact. His beast had an unusual taste when it came to suitable women. Which was why Sesshomaru had been shocked at his beasts interest in the woman. And then one night while traveling through his lands on a patrol... He'd come across the aura's of his half-brother's pack. Not wishing for a confrontation at the time, he'd held back his aura. There had always been a reasoning behind seeking out his brother, whether it be for his own personal gain, or to train the whelp in the ways of battle. He never had any intentions of actually killing his brother... The truth was had he had such intentions... the boy would already be dead. Instead he took the time to train his brother, sparring with him at appropriate times and watching over him to make sure that no one killed him. InuYasha was his family, half-breed or not, and he made sure to watch out for the whelp. If there was anyone who would ever kill him, it would be Sesshomaru. It was his duty after all to watch over his family, even if that meant killing the boy.
He'd approached the group slowly though, curious as to their reasoning for being on his lands. As he grew closer he took to the trees, moving noiselessly through them until he was above the group. He watched curiously as Kagome fed and cared for everyone in the group... while his brother disregarded her and made snide comments. He had even almost given a small smile when Kagome had finally apparently had enough before subduing his brother with a single... and strangely fitting word for the whelp. If the boy wanted to act like the dog that he was... then he could be treated like one.
After his brother had recovered he'd sulked off... Sesshomaru considered following him... only to catch the foul scent of graveyard soil coming from the direction that his brother had set off in. It appeared that his brother was not only remaining in contact with the dead priestess... He was also sleeping with a woman... the mere thought of such an act nearly caused a shudder to travel down his spine. Instead he'd returned his gaze to the pack below. Watching with a slightly raised brow as the Demon hunter all but knocked the Monk out after the lecher had tried to feel her up. His attention though was most drawn to the Miko... to Kagome. He'd watched as she'd cared for the young Kitsune, reading the young boy a story before bed and even cradling him in her arms as he fell asleep. This simple action had confused Sesshomaru, it was rare for him to see humans taking in human children. Times were tough... and there wasn't a lot of food to go around, most turned the orphans to the streets and let them die. Yet this girl, she'd taken in not only a child; but a Demon child. And she treated him as a son, caring for him; defending him from InuYasha... she mothered him even though it was not her responsibility to do so.
It had been then that his beast had truly grown an interest in her, commenting about how she would be to ideal woman to care for an heir. It mentioned how strong she was, even for a human, how beautiful was... And he'd cut it off, silencing it with threats. It had been silent too, and then he'd brought her into his house. Now that he was around her more often, he was noticing these things for himself... and there were other things that he was coming to see about her that he'd never noticed before.
Aside from her stubborn nature there were other traits to her, hundreds of intricate layers that when discovered... each of them showed another interesting aspect of the woman. Such intricacy in a being was surprising to him, Demons were not so multi-layered. Most were quite simple; they lived for power, for survival. There were those such as he though, the older ones, they consisted of layers as well. Though he'd been trained to hide his personality traits, taught to view them as weaknesses. He did his best to remain as one dimensional as possible, it was better that way. That way opponents couldn't read him, instead they viewed him as a simpler being... a mistake that got them killed quickly.
But Kagome, he'd been noticing that her layers were so, contradictory. She was stubborn and strong. Yet there was another part of her that feared failure, she was seemingly terrified of not being worthy to be around those that she traveled with. He didn't understand this though, she had not just unusual physical strength for a Miko; but she also had Holy Powers unlike anyone he'd ever seen before... they mirrored that of Midoriko.. a Miko that he'd watched in battle a few times before. But Kagome, she had two completely different reactions to this fear, at times it crippled her, making her not want to continue forward... But those times were incredibly rare, most of the time; it gave her a raw determination that intrigued him. Her determination reminded him of someone else... someone that he'd done his best to forget... Yet he knew that he would never be able to do so.
Sesshomaru had loved once... long before InuYasha had been whelped, back to a time where things had been simpler. He'd had fewer responsibilities, and he spent his time split between both his mother's abode and his fathers. He never expected them to love each other, he had been a birth of necessity and he knew it. His father had required an heir, so he'd found the strongest Inu bitch in the land and mated with her for the sake of bearing an heir. His parents had cared for him in their own ways though, his mother had hardened him. Taught him how to hide his emotions from the world... He wouldn't find out until after his father's death that she'd fallen for him and despised him for never loving her back. His father though, he'd taught him so much more, taught him about the Western lands, about hunting, about fighting. He'd raised him from a young pup into the Man that he was today. And it had been his father that had been the most supportive of his son finding love... and the one hurt most by the loss that Sesshomaru would suffer with her death...
There had once been a time when Sesshomaru had not always looked towards humans with such hatred, instead he'd been curious about them, about why they did the things that they did, and why they acted in manners that were most confusing. He'd often found himself spending time around the humans in his father's land's, trying to better understand the strange beings that he would one day watch over as his father did. At that time he'd wanted nothing more than to prove that he could be just as strong and caring a Lord towards those in his lands, whether they be human or Demon.
Time had changed Sesshomaru though, those feelings towards humans had changed drastically and he loathed them, despised them even. It seemed that there were those capable of tearing down those walls though, and it was through Rin and Kagome that he was regaining if but an inch of the respect that he had once held for humans. Choemi though, he would never see the light in her eyes once more. And as he recalled her image into his mind he found himself wondering if his beast was right... Was he being blinded by that which he had lost? Was the grief from losing Choemi causing him to miss out on something just as beautiful. He turned his gaze from the Western lands to look towards Kagome's room. Thinking more and more about how she had been just as unique as Rin, working at tearing down his walls without even acknowledging it... Just like how he'd failed to acknowledge it himself.
As he looked to Kagome's room though he noticed something that distressed him slightly, her heart rate had increased slightly... and there was a slight smell of fear coming from her room. He brought himself to his feet, quickly and quietly making his way over to the door, he slid it out of the way before making his way in and noticing that she had small beads of sweat on her brow... and that she was tossing her head back and forth. It seemed that she was being plagued by a nightmare.
Kagome let out a soft curse as she woke up on the bottom of the well, her body ached from the impact of hitting the bottom. But as she looked up towards the sky she found herself wondering how she'd gotten there, had she not been at Sesshomaru's the night before? She made her way out of the well, nearly falling a few times as her shoulder flared up in pain. She continued on though, climbing with the blind determination that fueled her to keep going in life. The determination that she'd learned from her father who had been a Police officer. Despite dealing with the well-known Yakuta on a regular basis he continued returning to work to do his best to provide for his family and protect the citizens from Tokyo. He'd been killed though when she was fourteen by a gang fight that was brought upon by a frightened member who was still new to the gang. He'd taught her though that she was to never let people look down on her instead to focus on proving that she's worth it.
As she got to the top of the well she noticed that there was a strange glow coming from the Goshibuko. She quickly made her way over to the tree, wondering what the strange glow was all about. It didn't look like the glow that would normally come from Kikyo or her soul stealers. As she made her way through the forest though... she didn't know what was going on; but she could tell that something was wrong. She slowed her pace, walking slowly as she reached behind her to grab for her trusty bow. But it wasn't there, a quick search of her body revealed that she was weaponless. She took in a deep breath before making her way to the tree. As she got there she blinked in confusion at the sight of InuYasha bound to the tree once more.
As she made her way forward to investigate though he disappeared, she glanced around, confusion setting in deep as she tried to figure out what was going on. She was taken from her thoughts though by his voice cutting through the air, "Still weak eh?" She spun around quickly, looking to where his voice was coming, he was leaning back against a tree. A coy look on his face... the jagged markings on his cheeks causing her to nearly take a step back in fear, "No, I'm not." He smirked now, "Feh, as if you believe that. You'll never be nothing more than human." She flinched to this, hurt slightly by his brash words.
"You don't mean that," she said stubbornly while looking to him. "Sure I do, think about it... you don't want me to remain a half demon for me. You like me a half Demon because at least then I'm only half a monster to you. At least with half of me human, then you can relate." She shook her head once more, "You're wrong. I don't see you as a monster! I-I..." She trailed off now, not being able to say the words that just a few days before she had known concretely. Something was different now, a hitch in her heart that knew of someone else she was coming to care for.
"Oh really? Then why haven't you ever taken off these damn beads eh? Is it that you like being able to control the beast?" He snarled while looking to her, the contrast of the red on blue frightened her. This wasn't the InuYasha that she'd fallen for so long ago... there was something different... Or was it that she'd finally opened her eyes? "No! That's not it at all!" She said in her defense while taking a step back, instinctively he took a step forward. "Then what is it? Hmn? Why are you so afraid of the big bad Demon?" He growled while flexing his hands.
She shook her head now, "This isn't you, InuYasha! You're different..." He laughed now, "Keh, that's the problem. I'm different; I let pathetic wenches like you affect me... I can't believe you were the one to get me off that tree. You should have done me a favour and left me there instead of forcing me to play protector to such a pathetic little human." She flinched to this before shaking her head, "You're wrong! I'm not weak, I've changed." She believed this in the depths of her heart too... She had changed from that fifteen year old girl. She was stronger, smarter... and it felt like for the first time in her life... she could stand up for herself. "I'm not the weak one. You are," and now she took a step back towards him.
"You were the one to keep running back to Kikyo, you couldn't just leave well enough alone. You were the one who needed the jewel in order to be stronger. You never could see that you were strong enough on your own. No, instead you whined about everything. You ask me why I won't take those beads off? Because I can't trust you, every time I try you run back to that stupid clay bitch of yours." Her voice had risen to a shout now and she was glaring at him. She could feel her powers threatening to come out. But before she could react she found herself backed into a tree, InuYasha's hand wrapped tight around her throat.
"Don't you get it you stupid little whore? You will never be Kikyo, she controlled her powers and emotions, you let them flare. She stayed loyal to me, while you wander off and woo every Demon you come across. You're a lost little girl in the wrong time. You'll never belong here, everyone, and I do mean everyone would be better off without you in their lives." He snarled while tightening his grip as he leaned in close to her body. As he drew close he could smell her pulsing fear, and the small drops of blood that came from where his claws had pricked at her neck.
She struggled against his hand, bringing her own up in vain, she even tried to use her powers. But for the first time in a long time, she found that she couldn't draw them forward, for the first time in years she felt truly helpless. There was nothing that she could do against InuYasha, he had the advantage of strength, and he was under the control of his Demon side... she couldn't even sit him without the fear of hurting herself.
InuYasha grinned maliciously as Kagome struggled against him, the effort causing her to spill more blood onto his claws. He quickly used his other arm to pin her against the tree, while bringing up a leg and using it to pin hers for a moment. He then drew back his hand and licked at her blood before letting out a terrifying, "Hmmm," as he looked at her. He then smirked before lunging forward and crashing his lips down on hers. She let out a muffled scream before biting down on his tongue as he forced it into her mouth. He let out fierce snarl at this before backhanding her across the face and pinning her to the tree once more, "I have to say, there is one plus to having you around... unlike Kikyo, you've got a body of flesh and blood..."
Naraku watched from the shadows as 'InuYasha' forced yet another kiss on Kagome, his hands now beginning to travel her body as he used his claws to rip at her clothing. This was all but a game to Naraku, to see just how many times he could break the Miko until there was nothing left to fix. The idea to unleash InuYasha on her was something Kikyo had offered. She had assumed that her reincarnation had doubts about InuYasha... so she'd suggested that Naraku play on those doubts. And then warp Kagome's mind more about InuYasha... make her hate him, fear him... loathe him. From what Naraku was witnessing it was working, the area around him was rippling with her fear. He could see images flashing around him, curious things, a man dressed in strange blue garbs... and then that same man dressed in black and white as he lay dead in a box.
The more prominent thoughts though were of an unsettling matter, they were of the Western Lord, Sesshomaru. It seemed that the girl was actually calling out for him in her sleep, calling out to be saved from the nightmare that Naraku was plaguing her mind with. Naraku greatly disliked that Kagome was in the hands of Sesshomaru, when it came to the Western Lord Naraku was not foolish enough to challenge him head on unless he was at full strength. There was something about that DaiYoukai that greatly unsettled Naraku... something about the Inu that caused him to consider that he hadn't quite seen the Demon at a full fighting capacity yet. He'd heard stories from other Demons... stories of the DaiYoukai in battle... stories that unsettled him slightly. From what he'd witnessed Sesshomaru was mediocre in battle... So much to the point that he'd lost his arm in battle to his younger brother. But Naraku had a sinking suspicion that Sesshomaru was not what he seemed when it came to battle. Either way, he was going to be doing everything in his power to ensure that the Western Lord and Kagome did not end up together.
Sesshomaru was in Kagome's room within seconds, he could see her tossing her head back and forth, scared little noises coming from her. He could tell that she was going through a nightmare of some sort. He contemplated getting Hikari to help him... But instead he went to her side himself, sitting on the edge of the bed as he looked to the young Miko that was sending his mind and emotions into a frenzy. He slowly brought his hand up, using his fingers to gently move the hair from her face as he said, "Miko... Kagome. You need to awaken, whatever you're experiencing, it's only a dream. Don't fall prey to the deception of the half breed. You're stronger than that.." He couldn't help but to use a soft tone, his hand rubbing at her forehead lightly as he spoke to her.
Kagome let out a pained cry as InuYasha ripped off her shirt, his hands groping at her body and ripping off her shirt as he started to nip at her skin, his claws digging into her neck and side. As he ravaged her body though she was surprised to hear Sesshomaru's voice echoing through the forest. She glanced around curiously as she heard him say that she was strong. She blinked, trying to focus on his voice, trying to focus on the words that were coming from him. She could hear other kind things coming from his voice, hearing him say that everything was going to be okay, that she was going to wake up and that everything was going to be fine.
Sesshomaru was still rubbing her forehead, and in her sleep she curled towards his hand. He brought his hand from her forehead to start rubbing at her back, "Kagome, you're going to awaken from this and nothing that happened within your dream will have mattered. No one can hurt you; this Sesshomaru will not allow it. This Sesshomaru will not allow someone to harm someone from his pack; you must not listen to what is happening around you." Kagome held onto his voice like a lifeline, holding on to everything that he was saying. She was terrified, but somehow Sesshomaru was making it all right. As he continued talked she did her best to ignore InuYasha, focusing more on him and his voice.
"You are neither weak nor ugly, you stand strong and beautiful. Nothing that the half breed said in the past is true. You are nothing like the undead clay Miko. You remain full of life and love where she remains cold and hard. And nothing Naraku said is true either, all those that have met you stand stronger. You are a blessing to your kind." Sesshomaru was completely shocked by what he'd said, he had been doing something that he hadn't done since he was with Choemi, he was speaking from the heart that he thought long ago to be frozen over. Yet here was this woman who was bringing back parts of himself that he thought were long gone.
As Kagome heard these last words it was like everything suddenly burst into a bright light, the world around her changing from the dark forest to a beautiful and open field. She glanced around, watching as her tattered clothing and bleeding skin changed back to normal with a soft blue kimono covering her skin. She smiled as she looked around, closing her eyes before opening them to feel the soothing motion of someone rubbing her back. She opened her eyes before looking up to see Sesshomaru giving her a... concerned look. She blushed at the look that she was being given. She then sat up slowly as she looked to him, "Did you mean all that? About me being beautiful?"
Sesshomaru was more than shocked when Kagome asked him this, he brought his hand up to cup her cheek lightly, "Miko... Kagome... This Sesshomaru does not lie, it is beneath him. You are beautiful, much more beautiful than that idiot of a half breed realizes." He said while looking into her bright blue eyes.
What happened next shocked him extremely though, he watched as she looked back at him, searching his face for something before leaning forward and pressing her lips against his. He couldn't help but to freeze as she kissed him, it wasn't what he'd been expecting, and he could think of nothing except her lips against his. They were soft, surprisingly so... and as she kissed him he became increasingly aware of her smell. She had the soft scent of lilies, with an underlying scent of rain. It was a hauntingly beautiful combination and he found himself being lost to it lightly as he started to kiss her back. As he did though an image of Choemi flashed before his eyes, her once bright eyes now dead and glazed over. He pulled back from the kiss, his usually emotionless mask slipping as he looked to her in confusion.
He stood up quickly, nodding his head to her as he said, "I'm glad that you're awake and well... good night Miko," he then gave her a small respectful bow before turning and walking from the room. He made his way back into his own room. He slid the door closed behind him before bringing his hand up to run across his face. He found himself doing something that he hadn't done in years as he made his way to his bed and sat down. He found himself thinking back over his thoughts as he tried to find out what the hell was going on.
"What are you doing in here?" He nearly groaned to this, he knew that his beast would be bothering him about his decision to leave the room. "You fool... how could you simply leave after that?" He closed his eyes, massaging his right temple as he said, "She was distraught, and I will not take advantage of her..." He was slightly unimpressed to hear a sigh coming from his beast before it said, "No, you were too busy worrying and focusing on the past."
Sesshomaru remained silent to this, not wanting to speak. "We both know how much it hurt to lose her Master. But you must stop closing yourself off. The more that you fear losing those who matter... the more that you will lose them. Instead of pushing her away. Be there for her, walking away is not the answer... And neither is dwelling on the past," Sesshomaru remained silent to this, trying not to think about the truth behind his beasts words. "Then what is that you suggest that I do?" He asked while looking to his beast for answers... and yet he found none. His beast was silent for the first time in years.
He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking about Kagome, thinking about Choemi. He couldn't help but to keep seeing the both of them in similar situations, with Kagome nearly dead as he'd first seen her when he'd rescued Rin. And then Choemi lying in a pool of her own blood, her arms laying across her stomach. He thought about Kagome's terror filled screams and how he wanted to keep her safe and close. He wanted nothing more than to make sure that Kagome was going to be fine... But as anyone who'd loved and lost, he was scared to try again. Sesshomaru, with all his strength and power, he was afraid to allow himself to get close again... To love a woman again, he'd done so once before... and she'd been taken from him by human wretches. She'd been killed because she hadn't been human, those monsters had killed her because they'd thought her to be a beast. And they'd taken not only his mate from him... no, they'd taken so much more in the life of their unborn pup.
He'd tried with Rin, tried to push her away, to not get close. But as his father before him it seemed that he had a weakness for Human women. Rin had cared for him despite what he was, and though he'd tried multiple times to push her away. To leave her be, she'd constantly come back to him, and the one time he'd left her alone with a human village, they'd all but killed her. He'd laid waste to that village, his fury for humans coming out. He could not understand how these creatures could turn away one of their own, could beat and nearly kill a pup. So, he'd ended the lives of the pitiful creatures in the village. Making an example of them before taking Rin under his protection as his ward. Truthfully though, she was so much more to him, she had become a part of his pack, becoming more of a daughter to him than he would ever admit. There were times late at night where he would go into her room and just watch her sleep. Make sure that she wasn't having a nightmare and that she wasn't going through anything. There had even been a few nights during the times that they traveled where he'd woken up to her moving from her bed to cuddle into his lap, a nightmare waking her from her sleep.
He'd outright refused her this invasion of privacy at first; but there had been a night where she'd woken up in hysterics, a wolf's howl from earlier that night having sent her into a fit of nightmares where she was reliving her death. He'd allowed her to fall asleep that night, his hand rubbing her back as she fell asleep. The sight of the young girl falling asleep so calmly in his arms had been one of the first moments in years where Sesshomaru had willingly smiled without there being a battle going on around him. Instead he'd placed a gentle kiss against Rin's forehead and made a vow to protect the young girl. It had been at that moment that both he and his beast had taken her in as one of his pack, and even more importantly, one of his family.
Now Sesshomaru found himself having similar feelings for Kagome. At first, when he'd first met her... He'd found her nothing more than a nuisance, a woman that was getting in the way of his brother, and the sword that he had coveted. But through time, as he'd watched her interact with those around her, with her pack, and those that chose to interact with her, those feelings had changed. There was a kindness to the woman that he was not accustomed to seeing in humans, a kindness that reminded him of Choemi, and strangely enough of the woman that his father had fallen for. There was also a strength to the woman that was rare to find in humans, a strength that seemed to rise and fall when she was faced with the impressions of her that others had. He found himself standing as he walked over to his bedroom window, his amber golden eyes touched with remorse as he cast his gaze towards the forests that surrounded his palace. Memories threatened to overtake him as his gaze wandered, however he fought them off, he did not want to remember.
"Let the memories in Master… doing so is the first step to letting her go…" Sesshomaru closed his eyes to this suggestion from his beast, he knew that his beast was right… but there was a large part of him that did not want to let go.
"By refusing to let go, you are being as stubborn as your mother. She has yet to let go of her feelings for your father… and it has worn her down into a bitter old woman," he sighed to this, opening his eyes as he cast a glance back towards Kagome's room. His beast was right… his mother had done just that.
"At least visit her grave… if even just once," with this Sesshomaru brought up his hand to rub at his temple, "If I oblige you this one small act, will you cease your insistent chatter and leave me to silence?" He all but snarled, his patience wearing thin with the internal pestering. "Perhaps, you'll have to do as I ask to find out," his beast replied without missing a beat.
He nodded to this, feeling it was better to just give in and satisfy his beast this one small request, than to attempt to ignore said beast only to find himself in a never-ending cycle of chatter. With thoughts of appeasing his bothersome beast, Sesshomaru moved onto the balcony accompanying his room. It offered a wide and scenic view of the western and northern lands. From his high perch he could survey a good portion of his lands without having to leave the comfort of his personal abode. This strategic location also allowed him to view those who were entering and leaving the main gates of his palace, it even gave a full view of the village that was located a short walk from his palace. As he stood watching over his lands though, his attention was drawn in a Northward manner, searching out the one place that he had not visited since carrying his dead mate from there in his arms.
He cast one last glance towards Kagome's room, worrying for her, if just for a moment. He knew though that Hikari would keep her safe, and his beast had a point, this was something that he needed to do, even if he loathed admitting this fact. He turned his gaze from her room only to leap from the balcony, he sailed down the fourteen story drop before landing gracefully on his feet. As soon as his feet had touched the earth he took off in a determined walk towards the grove where his precious mate had been brutally ripped from his life. As he walked what had once been a familiar path Sesshomaru found himself opening up his mind to memories that he'd been trying hard to block out.
Choemi had been the daughter of one of his father's trusted advisors. The first time that he'd crossed paths with her, their father's had been attending a meeting of the Lord's and their advisors. This included the current Lord of the East, the wise wolf Matsaru, and the Northern Lord, the Loyal Snow Leopard Kenjimaru.
Sesshomaru, who'd been a younger demon at the time, standing at only fifty years older than InuYasha was in the current day. He'd appeared only a few years younger than he was now, more a teenager than a man. It showed as well, his ideals were greatly different than the ones that he held now, his views towards humans, and his general attitude as a whole. His stoic façade that he was so well known for, was not even the whisper of a thought, instead he was shown to be more… youthful, his emotions sometimes even getting the better of him.
Choemi had been waiting for her father in the gardens, dancing to a song unknown to all but her, while her human servant watched happily, clapping when appropriate and offering her Lady praise. He'd been wandering the palace halls, awaiting the meetings end, when he caught sight of her. He'd found himself frozen in place by her sheer beauty. As she moved gracefully to the mysterious music he'd simply stood there in silence, watching as the rays of the setting sun caught her in ways that still remained fresh in his mind's eye years later.
The reddish hues of the setting sun had given her hair the appearance of a brilliant fire as she danced, the long locks flowing freely in the wind as she twisted and twirled around the open area of the garden. She had a pair of ribbons wrapped loosely around her wrists and between her fingers as she moved. She was beautifully oblivious to his presence, even the presence of her servant seemed missed as she moved around. As he'd watched her dance it was as if he was watching an Angel of legend dance for the God's themselves, and he was naught more but an interloping passer-by, blessed with the sight before him.
Her face had been perfect beyond comprehension, a solitary pink strike adorning each cheek and a pale blue tear-drop marking in the center of her forehead between her eyebrows. Her eyes had a soft green hue where his were magenta, and this colouring suited her beautifully, bringing out the gentle golden brown eyes that she possessed. She'd been dressed in a navy kimono that day, the soft silk fabric decorated with the pattern of pink cherry blossom petals. The obi tying her kimono was a pale pink that matched the stripes upon her cheeks, and over all, the kimono did well to show off not only Choemi's beauty, but also her womanly figure. He could still remember the growl of approval that his beast had uttered as they'd watched her dance that day.
He did not remain hidden for too long though, she caught on to his presence eventually, and she quickly found herself embarrassed by her actions in front of the young Lord of the manor. He'd been surprised when she'd suddenly stopped, giving him a low bow before apologizing profusely. He'd arched an eyebrow before chuckling softly, shaking his head as he said, "Fear not M'Lady, I was simply enjoying the beautiful sight of you dancing amongst the flowers, though I must say, the plants surely pale in comparison to your beauty." This charming statement had sent her human compartment blushing, awed at the young Lord's words. Sesshomaru had already made himself known as quite the warrior at this point, and as for the women… Well, they had flocked to him, yet, he had yet to show them any interest… until now.
Choemi had blushed at his words, thanking him softly, and from there a friendship had formed. However the friendship barely had a chance to blossom before Sesshomaru approached her father, making his wish to court her known. This had pleased him greatly, the old Inu Youkai pleased that his daughter had caught the attention of such a promising young Lord. He'd given them his blessing, and the pair had fallen fast and hard in love. Sesshomaru had been ensnared by her undying compassion for all beings, how she cared for everyone, no matter who, or what they were. She treated all as equals, often going out of her way to help others if she could. Sesshomaru had been confused by this, wondering why she would help lesser youkai, and humans despite her high status. But she had opened his eyes to the kinder side of humanity, and how lesser demons were not to be stepped on, but to be treated with respect. She taught him how it was easier to earn the loyalty of others by kindness than tyranny. In many ways she opened his eyes to the world, showing him a world unlike his mother had done her best to harden him to.
His father had been pleased by their union, finding joy in his son's choice in life companions. Sesshomaru seemed to change in Choemi's presence, and Takeshi had realized that it was necessary to find love. In many ways she had completed him, it was even through her kind hearted ways that he had come across Jaken. The two of them had been on a walk together when they had come across the unfortunate imp fleeing for his life from a pair of larger Onis. Choemi had felt bad for the imp, and once Sesshomaru caught on to this he'd wasted no time in laying waste to the Onis, severing their ties with the living world quickly. Choemi had then reached out to Jaken, calling to the healing powers that she'd been gifted with as a female Inu. She'd healed him of his wounds, and in doing so, earned his undying loyalty. This was a loyalty that Jaken held to both the blessed woman that had showed him kindness where had done so before, and to Sesshomaru, who had saved his life.
Two short years after they began courting, the pair of them completed the mating ritual together, bringing the pair of them together as mates. Strangely enough, as they had mated she had been bestowed with the marking of the Lady of the house of the West, while it was true that he was not the current Lord, the matriarch of his family recognized her as the Lady of the family. This was obvious from her interactions in and around the castle, she appeared to have the everyone wooed by her kindness. Takeshi was completely enamoured by his daughter-in-law, and he was more than pleased to accept her as the rightful Lady of the house.
Of course, happiness brings better news, fifty years after their mating Choemi came to him with blessed news. She was bearing his pup, he was to be a father, this news brought great joy throughout not just the Western lands, but also the rest of Japan. Everyone was overjoyed that there would be a new child brought forth, and none could have been happier than Sesshomaru. He and Choemi had spoken of children before, and they had agreed to wait until they were at an older age… instead spending the fifty years prior simply enjoying each other's company, and strengthening the bond that they already shared. He had found true love, and his mate was everything like what he'd heard true love could be like.
His joy was not meant to last though.
One day while he was attending a meeting with his father and the advisors of the Western lands. They had been meeting to discuss the upcoming patrols of the lands… when suddenly Sesshomaru's mating mark had flared up in pain, the instant and terrifying sign of his mate being in danger. He'd torn himself from the room, racing from the castle and desperately searching out his mate. He'd found the scent of her fear… and blood soon enough. This scent had had sent him into a near fury as he sought her out… only to find her broken body being violated by a band of human bandits. He'd lost control that day, unleashing his beast in a manner unlike he'd ever done before… or since. He'd laid waste to the bandits, demolishing them in his beast form before tracking their scents back to a small desolate village. He left the village in ruins, sparring not a single life as he sought out vengeance in vain. By the time he returned to his mate's side his fury had yet to be satiated. In many ways, his fury remained to this day; those worthless bandits had ripped not only her from his life, but also the life of his unborn child.
They had warped his mind into pure hatred towards their race, after all, what kind of beings would attack such a kind and innocent woman? As he'd grown older from that point he'd hardened himself completely to humans, loathing InuYasha's mother for bringing his father weakness. In his eyes had his father not fallen for the human woman, he would not have met his untimely end to the fool known as Takemaru. The birth of InuYasha brought forth something different though, he didn't hate the boy, he couldn't. Instead he loathed the humans that looked down on the child for his status as a half breed. As he'd watched the boy though, he'd realized that he was not safe. So, Sesshomaru had 'trained' him, 'attacking' the boy and teaching him how to fight as he grew older. By doing this he showed any possible offending Youkai that none were to attack him. According to Youkai law, the only one truly allowed to kill InuYasha was Sesshomaru, they were blood, and nothing was stronger than that. Also, should anyone go beyond this, than by the law, their lives would be instantly forfeited to Sesshomaru. It was the way of the Youkai… just as it had been their way for Sesshomaru to be in his right to extract vengeance out on those that had attacked his mate.
Sesshomaru was drawn from his thoughts as he neared the grove where he'd first come across her broken body that day. He slowed his pace, memories of finding her broken body rushing him as he neared the sight. He could remember in vivid detail the lifeless glaze to her once bright and beautiful eyes, the pale and deathly look her porcelain skin adapted. Even worse, the smell of her fear laden blood had been one that had taken him decades to forget. However as he re-entered the grove it was not that wretched scent that accosted his senses, instead he was rather confused to find the scent of lilies and dewdrops overpowering the area.
He stilled as he caught this scent, tilting his head back slightly as he took in the scent greedily. It had been her scent, and somehow such a unique scent had found its way woven into the very spot where she had died. As he glanced around he was surprised to see that the area had changed in the four hundred years or so since he had last visited there. Where there had once been blood stained grass and the stench of the remnants of his poison and the bandits decaying bodies, there were now hundreds of brightly coloured lilies. And unlike the customary colours of white and yellow, there were lilies of every imaginable colour. Dominating the other colours through were lilies of the lightest hue of pink, a hue that brought back memories of the delicate markings on Choemi's cheeks. Likewise there were lilies of the palest blue, their colour seeming to mirror the tear-drop that had adorned her forehead. As Sesshomaru entered the area, he glanced around before his attention was drawn to the center of the clearing where a cherry blossom tree had sprouted on the very spot where she'd lay dying. He stepped forward in confusion, wondering who had planted such a symbolic tree at the very spot where she had died.
The sight of the blossoming flowers caused him to raise his hand gingerly, touching at the nearest blossom gently, "How is it that this tree is blossoming, yet all the other cherry trees have long ago shed their blossoms and bore their fruits?" He asked quietly, his eyes closing as a breeze wound its way through the forest, stirring up the lilies and causing a swirl of cherry blossoms to circle around him. He opened his eyes to this only to freeze as he noticed the cherry blossoms leaving a faded figure in their wake. He opened his mouth to speak, only to watch as the faded figure of his fallen mate raised her hand.
"This is no illusion my love, this is simply the only way that I knew of to talk to you once more before moving on…" She said softly while stepping towards him, the breeze sending cherry blossoms through her translucent figure as her hair moved along with it.
Sesshomaru remained speechless to her appearance before him, part of him screamed out internally that this was a form of trickery, that there was no way for her to be here… Yet it was not unheard of for souls to remain lingering… So instead of doubting as he usually did, he simply remained silent, watching her as she stepped forward and looked him over, her gaze lingering on his lost arm for a moment. "I have been watching you for some time my love. Watching as you grew cold to the world, shutting out anyone and everyone who had ever cared for you. You have grown strength, but you have closed so much of who you were off…" She placed a hand on his cheek as she said this, her touch feeling as light as a feather on his skin, yet even still, he leaned into it instinctively.
"Sesshomaru, I need you to listen to me… your hatred towards the humans cannot continue along the path it has for so long. As you have seen in young Rin and the Miko Kagome, not all humans are akin to those who tore us apart. And while I am so proud of you for rising up to the TaiYoukai you are now… I want you to be able to move on, to find love again…" She smiled to him as she said this, a sadness entering her eyes as she watched him.
"Never forget what I taught you love, you cannot judge all humans on the acts of a few pitiful excuses. They are a useful race, with the potential to bring about great and wonderful changes to the world you remain in. But you need to be willing to let go of your hatred, to find a way to look past the digressions of a handful of varmints, and to see the beauty that is the human race. You need to see the human miko for what she is… a strong, powerful, beautiful woman, a woman that I would be pleased to see you start a life with…" She continued, watching as he opened his eyes and gave her a look of shock and awe.
He took a moment to find his voice, her words sinking in as he did so, "That which you ask of me is difficult my love, time has changed me and my view towards the humans. I've seen nothing but their faults for so long…" Her harmonious laughter cut him off as she caught sight of the doubts he was beginning to have.
"And yet you find yourself arguing with your beast about Kagome, do not doubt yourself my love. I am not asking you to change your ways on a whim, just to give yourself a second chance at love." He sighed to this, bringing up a hand to brush at her cheek, only to watch in masked dismay as it slipped through her as though she were not really there.
(AN: Heh, I got the name of one of my other fanfics in my post :P)
He remained silent for another moment, thinking of what she was asking of him before realizing that there was no need to think, this was the woman that he had trusted with his life. He had bound himself to her in a sacred mating ritual, if she could see something good for him, than who was he to doubt her? "I can do no more than promise you that I shall try my love," he said finally, looking to her with his eyes filled with emotion for the first time in centuries. They swam with regret, loss, and most of all, love for the woman that he had lost, and the child that he never got a chance to know.
She nodded to this, smiling as she said, "That's all I needed to hear, Sesshomaru. And before I continue on to the next world, you must take these words in caution. Should the haynous be allowed to join, Japan will fall. You must seek out the oracle from the Western Isles of Greece, the Nymph Corinna, she is the only one who can break the spells that Naraku and his undead shell of a miko have cast upon Kagome and your half-brother." He raised an eyebrow to this, prepared to ask what she meant about Naraku having a hold on InuYasha, only to watch as she glanced off towards the forest, her eyes seeing something that Sesshomaru could not.
"I must be going my love, the other side is calling to me… forget not what I've said. It's time for you to move on… just as it is time for me to do the same, and Sesshomaru, I will love you always." She said softly while leaning up and placing a soft kiss on his lips, a kiss he did not feel physically, but emotionally it tore him up, because as much as he loved her, he realized that she was right. It was time to let go, and as he watched her pull away he swallowed once before saying, "Tell father I believe I may once again understand what it means to find someone to protect. And Choemi? I love you, my mate." He finished this off with a slight bow of his head as she smiled up at him, giving him a single nod before turning and walking off, fading from view as she reached the forest line.
He remained standing there for a few minutes after her departure, her appearance stunning him in more ways than he was willing to admit to himself. But as he thought back on what she'd said, he made a solemn vow to her, that he would find a way to return to the man that he had once been, no matter how hard it might be to do so. With this resolve in mind he glanced back towards his castle, thoughts of the kiss that Kagome had bestowed upon him returning with full force as he thought about her. He found himself smiling as he thought about it, realizing that his mate was right. Kagome wasn't like the humans that he had come to hate… and neither were the ones within her pack, but at that moment, he wanted to return home and ensure that the newest human under his care was safe from any possible nightmares that the damned spider haynou might be cursing her with.
As he made his way back to the castle he was surprised at the silence of his beast, the usually chatty portion of his soul now silent as he walked back. He was pleased that the return to the place of Choemi's death had appeased the beast within him, though he was also pleased with the visit for another, more obvious reason. As he neared his home he found himself wondering about this Corrina, and how she might aid in weakening the Possession Marking on Kagome, a marking that was only known to have three true cures. He'd never heard of a way to lessen the pain, let alone, how an oracle form the Grecian Isles might help.
He was snapped from his thoughts however as he picked up the signature sound of Kagome's broken voice whispering out a strangled, "I'm sorry, Sesshomaru." He glanced up to this, watching with wide eyes as Kagome suddenly appeared over the edge of the balcony to her room, her small fragile body wavering a few times before toppling over the edge, her arms spreading out wide as a strangled sob broke into a fearful gasp.
To be continued…
Hey! Wow has it ever been a long time since I wrote up a chapter of this. I know the last time I chatted with you lovely people it was through an author's note a rather long time ago. Rest assured, I am back, and I will be completing this fan fic. I am fully mentally refreshed, and I have fixed my freaking computer issues. I now have two brand spanking new computers, both with extended warrantees. That being said, I had to end this chapter with a cliff hanger… or a cliff faller?
Tee Hee, I know, I'm evil. But at least I'm back. A chapter of A Second Chance at love will be coming next. I just need to re-read it and refresh my mind for it. Either way, it's nice to be back, I missed all of you, and I'm sorry I took so long.
Reviews are much appreciated.
Guardian Author Anon