Part 6 of 11.
Hello, thanks to the lovely people who have been reviewing - we are beginning to get some answers in this chapter, and maybe some more questions too...
However, enjoy.
The moment Linda had left the room with Millie, Zoe had suspected that her young colleague would react badly; Sam had curled into a ball squeezing her eyes tightly shut and her entire body had shaken with suppressed sobs, while Dylan had ran his fingers through her hair determined to pacify her somehow. It was this simple action by Dylan, however, that had caused complete agitation to flare up in Sam and she had lashed out at her husband determinedly pushing him away and the suppressed sobs had soon descended into furious tears showing the complete distress that she was feeling. Upon, her adverse reaction to him, Zoe had watched Dylan visibly shy away from her bedside and he crossed Resus, seeming determined to get away from her.
Dylan was facing the wall, as far away from Sam as he had deemed possible, while Zoe was gently trying to grab the wrists of a distressed Sam, who was lashing out at anyone and anything; Zoe couldn't be certain that it was through fear or anger at having Millie taken from her, but she had concluded that if she could get Sam wrapped into some from of comforting embrace she'd maybe to be able to reassure the blonde. "Sam, sweetheart, calm down…" Reluctantly the blonde had stopped struggled and had allowed Zoe to wrap an arm around her back, pulling her to her side. "I know you are frightened. But I promise, neither of us are going to leave you." It was when she heard the blonde sniffling, that she realised her distress and fear had moved from choked sobs to peaceful tears, from startled wide eyes that made Zoe realise just how young Sam truly was. She had always put on an act of being older than her years - well so it had seemed - to the outside world, to see her so broken and vulnerable came as a shock to Zoe who prided herself on being unable to be fazed by anything her job could throw at her.
It seemed Dylan had found the ceasing of his wife's sobs as his cue to return and took Zoe's place by her side, while she went outside to inform Big Mac that they were in fact ready to take Sam to get the much needed scan - while to their colleagues, the scan was simply to check that everything was okay following her fall, Zoe had to note that they were all seemly taking to this as a serious task.
She had clutched tightly at Dylan's hand the moment they had left Resus, an action that Zoe noticed she had remained to do, until she was forced to let go. She desperately wanted to not have to watch in silence as the couple had a whispered conversation before Sam nodded her consent slightly, and Dylan ran his fingers through her hair one final time before retreating behind the door and he could only watch from a far. She noticed then how the frightened young woman seemed to freeze completely when she had lay down as instructed, and waited on the slow moving of the machine, perhaps it was a hazard of the job - knowing too much about what these machines could reveal.
Time seemed to stop when they had seen the mass on the scan; near to the occipital lobe and clearly what was causing Sam's vision problems, Zoe had felt sick to her stomach and while she knew this would need to be confirmed, she considered that she would, also, have to tell Sam the truth. Dylan, however, had visibly paled and quickly retreated from the room after one final sad look in Sam's direction.
Dylan's disappearance had consequently left Zoe herself having to deliver the news to Sam; she had waited until Sam was back in the safety of a cubicle as far away from prying eyes as possible and she had sought some advice from both Tess and Charlie having relayed the distressing news to them. She had decided that they were her best options when she had decided to seek a second opinion on how to break the news, other than Nick, and she wasn't sure herself whether or not she was ready to bring up this particular topic with him yet.
She had taken the news surprisingly well, and Zoe wasn't entirely sure whether the blonde had actually taken in her words - as she lay there, seeming staring off at the blue curtain pulled around her bed, calmly accepting everything that Zoe had to say. She had expected Sam to ask for Dylan, and admitted to herself that she was surprised when the blonde hadn't. The first few moments of silence had been fine, but when it had reached the ten minute period, it had drifted into uncomfortable silence and Zoe wasn't sure what to say. She stood up to leave, planning on going to find Linda and ask her to bring Millie to Sam, before returning unsure if the blonde stood have been left on her own, just yet.
She noticed Linda walking into the cubicle, Millie however, was beneath her eyeline, and it was her little girl's voice that indicated to Sam that Linda had brought her, her daughter. "Daddy brought you, your cat." As Zoe picked her up and sat her at the edge of Sam's bed, so she could rest in the crook of Sam's arm, her tiny arms stretched out to hand her the stuffed cat - that she had taken comfort from the night before. She placed it to her other side, and felt her eyes fill up, as she reflected on all the stuffed cat symbolised; she'd never been so grateful for Zoe than she had been today, even now when she was lifting Millie away from her and handing her back to Linda.
When she realised that the entire provocation of Sam's distress this time around seemed to stem entirely, from the stuffed toy cat which obviously held more sentimental value than anything else; she had been certain at the time that carrying it around Sam's flat had seemed to provide Dylan with a sense of comfort: "Dylan carried it around the flat with him, I didn't realise he'd brought it with him." She was relieved when her words appeared to have the desired effect and brought Sam's painful sobs to a halt.
With her crying ceased, Zoe placed a hand in hers, and she seemed to feel the need to explain herself, she placed the teddy on to her knee as she began to speak - still appearing to seek comfort from a time in her past, as she noticed her left hand was still clinging onto the cat tightly: "He got me him." Zoe watched, with interest as Sam lifted the stuffed toy to her chest before beginning to cry once again. She felt helpless and all she could do was wrap her arm around the sobbing girl, letting her crying into her shoulder. "He said I needed something to hold." Although her words were punctuated by her sobs, she was certain that she'd heard them correctly yet she still seemed perplexed by their meaning.
She let her arm unwind from Sam's shoulder as the younger woman, shifted herself into a tight ball on the bed, clinging on the stuffed cat as if her life depended on it - Zoe was forced to admit defeat and realise that there was something about this situation, or the memory the woman's small daughter appeared to have reawakened that seemed too personal for her to be able to deal with. Her mind travelled immediately to the one person who could possibly help in this moment, despite the fact that he had already fled from the situation: "Can I get Dylan for you?" She ran her fingers gently through Sam's long blonde hair, in an attempt to consol her.
Sam raised her head, letting her water filled eyes meet hers, as she sniffled slightly, trying to stop the tears in order to speak: "Can you?" Her heart went out the girl, who quickly resumed sobbing into the pillow, and Zoe could only nod before rising to go and find the distraught woman's husband.
Unsure about leaving the obviously distraught Sam alone, she quickly tracked down Tess and sent her in Sam's direction hoping that she could at least provide some comfort until she had located and returned with the younger woman's husband.
She went to one place that she was almost certain that Dylan would be; the pushed open the doors to CDU, hoping no one had been admitted there recently and she caught sight of the detached consultant. "Dylan?" She had called his name, and had not missed his short jump of surprise obviously unaware that she had entered the room. She spoke again, when she realised that he was not planning on replying to her. "Busy?" When her question was once again met with silence, she opted for emotional blackmail: "Can you go to Sam, Millie gave her the cat - she got a bit weepy." His eyes had snapped up to met hers then, and she could almost see the cogs working in his mind - as though he was weighing up his ability to go and attempt to comfort his young wife.
The confusion she felt about the complexities of the Keogh's marriage, she was certain, was etched across her face the moment that Dylan, seemed to deem it appropriate to explain his distressed wife's out of character and unusual behaviour, when she was reunited with a small stuffed animal. "She'd had a miscarriage." As Dylan said the words, she struggled with the concept that he could speak so bluntly about what was obviously a distressing time for them, as was the case for any couple, but it was the sense of complete calmness which had throw her completely when he spoke of the child whose loss still affected his wife so deeply. It was while she was struggling to accept what Dylan was saying to her and his reluctance to show emotion she pondered whether or not he had fathered the child who Sam seemed to still be grieving for even if it was on some unconscious level.
"Sorry?" As the word left her lips it felt inadequate, and she hoped that he would understand it as the question she was asking and not as the shortest, meaningless word of condolence she could offer.
"The cat." She was almost relieved when Dylan went on to explain himself further, and while the whole concept of the cat providing Sam with a comfort that it seemed Dylan felt unable to provide her with seemed strange she chose not to voice that and simply waited, in hope, that Dylan may expand on his explanation. "I got the cat when she had a miscarriage, she just wouldn't stop crying." Once the words had left his mouth he seemed to stop, as though that was all he had to say on the subject - she didn't know quite how to react to someone talking about the loss of a child, particularly a child, who was presumably their own, with such an air of detachment. "The shop only had a cat left, and I needed her to stop crying."
Feeling unable to say anything else, she used her same word, this air as a word of condolence. "I'm sorry Dylan." She noted that her companion never responded to the statement, however, despite the devastating nature of Dylan's revelation, in a way she was relieved to now know what was causing Sam so much distress and heartache.
Thank you for reading,
The next chapter will be up on Monday morning.
Anny x