They finalize the rest of the scholarship criteria before Castle sets it aside, saying he'll type it up and send it to Ms. Marshall later.
"Mind if we move this party to the couch?" Castle asks. "My bum's sore."
"Sure. Let me just take care of our plates and I'll meet you out there."
"Um, Beckett?" Castle asks. Kate registers his hesitation and wonders what it's about. She looks up at him and raises a questioning eyebrow. She leans her head forward and cocks her ear toward him in a classic, "Yeah?"
"May I use your bathroom?"
"What?"
"May I—"
"I know what you said, but you've been here how many times? Do you really think you have to ask to use my bathroom?" She's shaking her head. She couldn't figure him out. Sometimes he was so incredibly cocky and other times he seemed unsure of himself. She knew he'd created boundaries between them since the freezer and the bomb and he was trying hard to not overstep and to give her space. He'd laid off the constant innuendo, which she missed and found herself trying to draw out of him—however subtly. She'd left the door wide open on several occassions only to be met with silence or sincerity. Still, how could those boundaries possibly extend to using her bathroom? And why am I so irritated that he would ask?
"Oh-kay," Castle said, drawing it out. He'd obviously pissed her off, but wasn't quite sure how. But, he really had to go, so he started heading for her bedroom door.
Alarmed, Kate asks, "Where are you going?
"Bathroom?"
"I have another bathroom," Kate says, pointing down the hall by the door he'd come in through. "Half-bath, but it'll do, unless you need a shower, too?"
"Nah," Castle says, reversing direction. "Toilet and sink will do." He paused in front of her. "Sorry. I thought those were closets." Well, at least that explains why he asked to use my bathroom.
"One is, the other isn't." She watched his broad shoulders as he walked down the hall, her eyes trailing to where his shirt met his jeans and was tucked behind that thick, brown leather belt. As she was silently praising his fashion sense, she noticed him glance between the two doors he had reached. "On the right," she called.
Kate moved Rick's laptop to the coffee table in front of her sofa and went to use her own bathroom. When she came back, Rick was emptying the remaining contents of the box onto her coffee table. She picked up her iPod and moved to the shelf. After placing it on the dock, she debated between playlists, opting for some soft, mellow background music and went to join Castle.
"Now for the fun stuff!" Castle exclaimed. He grasped her hand and pulled her to the couch. She landed closer to him than she needed to be, but while adjusting to a more comfortable position, didn't move away.
Kate looked to her right. Her eyes moved up his jawline to his thick hair. She instantly warmed at the memory of her hands in his hair, the kisses they'd shared. I can't be doing this…
"And what is the fun stuff, Castle?"
"Oh, this is what every little girl dreams of…the guest list, the centerpieces, the invitations, the color scheme, the band—"
"Sounds like more like we're planning a wedding," Kate says. When Castle grins at her, she immediately realizes her mistake. What was I thinking? Me, Rick, wedding? Way to make him run, girl! That last one sounded just like Lanie.
A year ago, Castle would have teased her mercilessly or shuddered and commented on marriage being a fast track to alimony. Today, he just smiles and says, "It'll be good practice for when you do. Who knows? Might be sooner than you think."
Kate tilted her head back trying to imagine herself planning a wedding. Nothing. But for a fleeting moment, she imagined walking down the aisle looking up to meet her groom's eyes. She was startled to realize they were Castle blue. Rick watched her smile. He could only assume she was picturing happily-ever-after with Dr. Motorcycle Boy. Not that he called the good doctor that when talking to Beckett. Not anymore.
Kate leaned forward to examine the stuff he's put on the table. "So, this is what planning a wedding is like, huh?"
"I wouldn't know." Kate gave him a questioning glance. "Meredith and I eloped. I had to convince her to keep the baby and had to work only slightly harder to convince her to marry me so that the baby wouldn't grow up with the baneful "bastard" label." His admission, coupled with the set of his jawline and the knowledge that he occasionally indulged in deep fried twinkie thoroughly confused her. He was visibly struggling with the memories, but when he turned to her, his eyes were unreadable.
"When Gina and I were married, she and my then publicist planned the whole thing. I didn't even get to pick my tux. Five hundred people at the wedding and I knew only a handful. I'd already been married, she never had, so I thought she should get to plan the wedding of her dreams. They took it as an opportunity to capitalize on the "author marries publisher" storyline. I wanted to be more involved, I guess I should have tried harder." He shrugged, and smiled. "But, the one bright spot—Alexis was an adorable flower girl."
Kate didn't know what to say. She settled on ignoring most of his admission. "You'll have to show me pictures sometime, Castle." She reached for the album on the coffee table. She leafs through it and realizes it's full of table settings. Different color schemes, different centerpieces, all elegant. "Amanda sent those over. Thought it might give us ideas. So, you just need to pick what you like."
She thought back to when she met Amanda, Rick's event planner. She was a tall, beautiful, glossy woman. Blonde, of course. Paula was with them. The three shared a familiarity and Kate remembered wishing she hadn't agreed to come so she wouldn't have to watch them together. Paula and Amanda were clearly close friends and the three of them had worked together for years. Paula coordinating the press, guest lists, planning book signings and talk show appearances. Amanda planned the events themselves – picked the locations, caterers—managed all the details.
But there was something in the way Castle and Amanda interacted with one another that made Kate wonder if they hadn't had a more intimate relationship. They weren't inappropriate in any way, and Kate learned that she recently married and was already expecting her first child. She'd shown Rick pictures of the sonogram. Rick smiled a huge smile and pulled her into an embrace.
When they met, he stressed to Paula that this fundraising event was to be strictly about Johanna Beckett. His name was not to be used in promotion of the event, but he when pressed, he agreed that she could mention his name when speaking to his "friends" and potential donors. However, there was no relenting when Paula wanted to mention Nikki Heat. He'd said, in no uncertain terms: "This is about Kate and her mother. Reference to Nikki Heat, especially to Kate as Nikki Heat, is off limits." Kate had been grateful. She knew it was going to be hard enough facing the night, having to do it under the scrutiny that accompanies Rick's life and her role in it…whatever that is—or, she amended, her role in his books, would have made it that much more difficult.
She turned to Rick, who was looking at photo galleries of some of the venues Amanda had suggested. "I know you joke, but, honestly, do you think you'll ever get married again, Castle?"
"I hope to, Kate. I mean, I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. And I'm certainly not going to be a Hugh Heffner dating well into my 90s. I just hate that it's 'again.'" He paused, looking out her window. "I never imagined I'd be forty and single and living with my Mother and my 17 year old daughter. Maybe I didn't realize it when I was younger, but I definitely wanted happily ever after. Maybe not the picket fence…but everything else. You know, the two-point-three kids, and someone to share it all with."
"How about you? You want kids and the whole she-bang?"
"Yeah, I think so. Someday." She fiddled with her fingers. "I used to think it would be fair with the risks I take on the job—and I know I'm not willing to give that up—"
"New York thanks you."
Kate smiled and continued. "But, I miss having a family and I'm sure my dad wants grandbabies to spoil." Kate looked around. "How is it we tackled the hard stuff and still haven't made a decision about the fun stuff?"
"We'll if you'd stop jawin.'"
Kate slugged him. Hard.