Part 10 of 11.

Once, again, huge thanks to everyone who has been reviewing this; particularly Meggi and Callie who have been listening to me ramble about how this will go from day one.

I'm not as pleased with this chapter as I'd like - and much prefer Tuesday's - but it does what it is meant to do, so I hope you enjoy...

She'd almost collapsed when Nick had relayed the news to her and she'd been insanely grateful that little Millie was still in the charge of Drs Kent and Lyons, as nonsensical that statement would appear to anyone not currently involved in the situation themselves. She'd felt her legs buckled and found herself sitting on the sofa in his office, Nick looking at her - his face a picture of concern - as she shook her head wearily, unable to explain how the news had made her feel.

However that news had been at least fifteen hours previously now, yet she had found herself in the same position this time she was relieving Nick of babysitting duties - when she'd entered the office not ten minutes previously, she'd noted that both Nick and the small child had seemed fairly comfortable in each others company. She been shocked to silence when she'd arrived and found the girl sitting atop Nick's desk intently studying jigsaw pieces while the Clinical Lead either confirmed or redirected her suspicions of their place. She's wondered briefly if the activity had appealed to the doctor or the teacher in Nick - and more briefly whether it was the fatherly nature he sometimes allowed to be shown outwardly - as he aided in the putting back together of the bear themed image. When she'd reached the desk, herself, she had wondered whether or not she was looking at a young Sam - while physically the girl certainly resembled her mother, it remained unclear whether Millie Keogh had also adopted her personality of Sam. As she noted Nick's fond smile in her direction when she'd clapped her hands excitedly at fitting the final piece of her puzzle together, she considered that it was his fondness and understanding with the girl's mother which had prompted his early morning jigsaw puzzle activities. "I thought I'd take Millie up to see Sam…" She realised the sound of her voice had startled the obviously engaged Nick when he looked up quickly.

"Daddy says Mummy hurt her head when she fell down the stairs…" The sudden speech from the toddler startled both Nick and herself, and as they turned to face her, the child broke off suddenly, blue eyes widened - before she began again in excited whisper "…was she running? Because she always tells me not to run on the stairs because I might fall and hurt myself. But she always runs on the stairs!" They had both listened with interest until the girl had finished with an exasperated sigh and a slight shake of her head. Zoe looked at Nick in that moment unsure of how to deal with the situation.

"No." He'd managed to begin to speak straight away, immediately dismissing Millie's claims and responded when the girl had looked up at him in question. "She just slipped…" He paused as though in hope that the girl might accept his answer without further question.

Upon breaking into their conversation for a second time Millie had immediately regained their attention: "Daddy told Mummy that she was going to end up being badly in-inju-re-injured…" The girl had managed to twist her tongue around the word before she'd looked up at them expectantly in question of her pronunciation and she had nodded quickly to her. Upon seeing the positive answer Millie had returned to repeating Dylan's words back to them: "…and then I'd not get to see her anymore." She'd blinked at the innocence of the girl who had no understanding as to what her words had truly meant, before turning to Nick, the look on his face ensuring her that he too knew the words Millie had heard were more than likely referring to Sam's army posting. She girl had frowned, as she thought about her words, and turned quickly to Nick, moving closer to whisper to him, "Do I still get to see Mummy? Because I seen her yesterday after she was hurt." He'd closed his eyes, placing his fingers to his temple before he had been able to answer.

She felt him look up at her as he spoke, "Yes. That's where Zoe is going to take you right now. Aren't you Zoe?" She nodded automatically on hearing her naming being included in the conversation before gently reaching out to pick the toddler from the table where she was perched.

Sam was asleep when she'd stepped into the ward, some half hour beforehand; little Millie had managed to somehow allow herself to be sat on Sam's bed and had long since lain down beside her with her head rested on her mothers stomach. Zoe had considered leaving them to go and have a conversation with the nurse who could possibly tell her more about Sam's state of mind the night before, given that she seemed far from her usual bright self who was always up at the crack of dawn, she pondered whether or not she'd had a bad night. "Millie…" She leant towards the little girl, whispering so as not to wake Sam. She turned when the little girl turned to face her, "…I'm just going to talk to the nurse. Will you tell mummy where am I when she wakes up." She waited until the little girl had nodded against her mother's stomach before she had managed to somehow thread her tiny fingers through Sam's.

Her mind was spinning when she stepped away from the nurse, wondering why no one had thought to contact herself, Nick or in fact Dylan - when it had become clear that Sam was so upset. When she'd seen Dylan the previous evening he had not mentioned any potential upset or distress just that she'd still been groggy after surgery and had drifted in and out of sleep for the few hours he was there, and therefore he thought it would be best that Millie's visit was postponed until the morning.

She was walking back towards Sam's bed when she heard the muffled voices, indicating that Sam was now awake. However, her mind was still focussing on the events of the previous evening which the nurse had filled her in on; she strongly suspected that it was the knowledge of the awful experience of his night with Millie which Dylan had relayed to her the previous morning that had been playing heavily on Sam's mind preventing her from sleep. She wasn't sure she'd ever admit that Dylan had huddled himself in CDU all night, leaving little Millie in the on-call room with her and that between herself and Nick they had ensured the little girl was never alone.

She pulled the curtain gently open, hoping not to startle either of the occupants - however, she shouldn't have bothered as neither acknowledged that someone else had even entered the confided space - and she watched as mother and daughter held an animated conversation, as they lay facing each other on the bed. When the younger of the blonde girls seemed to close her eyes sleepily; the elder lift her head and noticed the they were no longer alone. "Hi." Her voice was quiet, but her small smile was slightly more encouraging, on reflection.

She watched while Sam's threaded her fingers through a sleeping Millie's hair, when she started speaking, "Grade one, Sam…" She watched as the younger woman nodded her head softly, as if she couldn't quite believe what she had been told, she sat down at the opposite side of the bed from Millie and took Sam's hand before she leant her head in closer and whispered softly, "It's all just the same as before."

Sam had turned her head slowly and nodded before she took a deep breath and spoke slowly, "I could see before." She noted from her tone that she had felt that her condition had been much worse than what she had suffered previously.

She took a moment trying to decide what would be the best method to bring Sam's thoughts back on to the situation they were involved in, "Frances wants to do the operation tomorrow." She stopped looking for a reaction from Sam. However, when she didn't react Zoe began to speak again, "This little one," She paused indicating Millie before starting again, "She can just be about the department - you know want Charlie's like with childcare arrangements. Maybe she can go do some more jigsaws with Nick." She stopped but quickly expanded when she noted the look of confusing which had crossed Sam's face. "That's where I found her this morning."

She paused realising what she'd said when Sam suddenly looked up in alarm and confusion before speaking slowly - never taking her fingers from her sleeping daughter's hair - as she looked up expectantly at Zoe. "Where's Dylan?" She stopped talking as suddenly as she had started and continued to look up at her in confusion.

Zoe began to speak softly, hoping that if she had said it quietly enough then "I'm not sure," She watched as Sam looked up at her and from her face she could only read a look of disappointment. "Would you rather he had her tomorrow?" She questioned her quietly, hoping that she wouldn't demand that Dylan looked after their daughter - not wanting to have to broach that conversation with Dylan, given his reaction the day previous.

She was almost relieved when the blonde shook her head softly, "No," Sam dropped her gaze from Zoe and back to Millie as she continued. "Whatever is easier."

"Is this about the reason he wasn't allowed her when you went to Afghanistan?" She'd spoken quietly, hoping that Sam wouldn't feel that she was over stepping the mark with her pointed question.

"No." Sam's answer was quickly and just when Zoe felt that she wouldn't expand further she began to speak again, "That was different. I didn't know what he was likely to do. I had to know she'd always be safe." She bit her lip nervously and shook her head as though indicating that she no longer wished to talk about it.

"What happened?" Sam shook her head as though reluctant to expand any further "What scared you that much?" She'd questioned her softly.

"He almost let her drown!" Her voice was harsh and seemed to indicated that she had yet to forgive Dylan for this particular event. "The boat always scared me, especially when she started walking about the place - because he had to leave the door open for the dog…" She paused looking up at Zoe as if hoping that she understood what she was trying to tell her, but her face must have shown the confusion that she felt because Sam expanded quickly, "…and Millie was old enough to just walk right out it with her." Zoe nodded herself and watched as Sam tried to explain further, "She used to follow her around." She stopped speaking and turned away from Zoe and back to Millie.

"And you blamed him?" She broached the subject tentatively and hoped that the question wouldn't cause Sam to clam up completely.

Sam snapped then, turning back towards her and speaking furiously low as she tried to explain, "He was drunk," She took a deep breath and paused, covering her face with her hands and seemed to use the moment to calm herself down before she began to speak again. "It was my fault, I shouldn't have left her with him; I should've known. He was in such a state when the complaint got made, he'd been drinking for three days. It was the stupidest thing I've ever done." She stopped suddenly and seemed to lose herself in the thoughts of the previous events, Zoe reached across and squeezed her hand hoping to provide some sort of comfort and they sat in silence trying to take in Sam's sudden, shocking revelation as if unable to accept that the words had been said aloud.

The next and final update will be posted on Tuesday..

thank you for reading, up until now...

Anny x