As the sun rose on the film lot, a bus pulled up to the front gate, and a very familiar scene took place.
"Great," Trent groaned, "out of all of the places I wouldn't mind re-visiting, the film lot doesn't make the cut."
"You're telling me," Justin scoffed, "were you the one who was attacked by the military and robot Cthulhu this season?"
"Cheer up," Bridgette said, getting off the bus and standing next to Justin, "at least Cody is in the final two, right?"
"Like, Gosh," Harold said, getting off the bus, "what a dump. How could you guys stay here all summer?"
"How could you be dead for a year and then come back?" LeShawna asked.
"It was the weirdest thing," Harold explained, "after I was eaten by the shark, the next thing I remember is waking up in my bedroom wearing an orange parka."
"Let's just get this over with," Duncan scoffed, "I can't wait to finally be done with this show."
"Do you think she was into me?" Geoff asked Owen as the two got off the bus, "Courtney, I mean."
"I dunno," Owen said, "I wasn't really paying attention."
"If I were you guys, I would be more concerned about the giant robot that may or may not be lurking around the area," Noah said.
"Yeah, does anyone else think it was weird we were able to leave without incident?" Trent asked, "All of that build up, and we were able to just go."
"I'm kind of grateful," Justin said, "last season was fairly cut and dry, but this season there were all these plot twists and back stories… I'm looking forward to the moment this all blows over."
"Agreed," Harold nodded, "this season was much more intense than its predecessor."
"Harold," LeShawna said, pinching her nose, "you were barely in last season, and definitely not in this one. You really can't compare the two."
"CUT THE CHIT CHAT!" Chris shouted.
Everyone turned to see the host standing behind them, looking impatient and annoyed.
"I didn't bring you all back for idle conversation," Chris snapped, "you're here for one reason, and one reason only… Actually, make that two reasons. No, wait, wait, make that three- hell, you're here because I say you are, and you're still under contract for that matter."
"Under contract?" Bridgette gulped.
"Yeah," Chris said, "under contract. ALL OF YOU."
By now, each of the former contestants (minus Sadie and Beth) was off of the bus- and each of them looked incredibly worried.
"But relax," Chris smiled, "only about six of you will have to actually have to compete."
"Well?" Katie asked, "Who's competing?"
"Not for me to decide," Chris shrugged, "but right now, I want all of you to head down to the craft's and services tent, where I had chef set up a buffet for all of you."
"Oh no," Trent said, "I remember LAST season when you made a buffet on the finale-"
"Oh come on," Chris said, "do you really think I would go for the plastic food trick twice?"
"Yes," Trent snapped.
"Whatever," Chris shrugged, "just head down to the tent anyway. You can believe me or not, I don't care."
When the former contestants got to the tent, however, they found there actually WAS a buffet.
"Hello there, children!" Chef greeted.
"CHEF!" everyone exclaimed.
"Dude, I thought you got fired!" Justin exclaimed, "This is awesome! When did you get back?"
"Couple days ago," Chef shrugged, "Chef Hatchet kind of… died, though."
"Whatever, that guy was a prick," Duncan said.
"Dude!" Justin shouted, "He was a prick, yeah, but he didn't deserve to DIE!"
"Anyway, dig in, children," Chef said, "Chris had some very specific cooking orders, he'd be upset if you guys let all this food go to waste."
With that, chef disappeared back into his kitchen.
Duncan walked over to the buffet, and grabbed a plateful of bacon.
"Save some for the rest of us!" Harold exclaimed, "GOSH!"
"Make me," Duncan smirked, shoving a handful of bacon into his mouth.
"So, I'm betting laxatives?" Noah yawned.
"What?" Duncan asked, "There's no- oh no."
The punk dropped his plate, and his hands went to his stomach.
"I gotta go!" Duncan exclaimed, rushing out of the room.
"Yep," Noah nodded, "definitely laxatives. A bit juvenile, but it was still enough to get Duncan I suppose."
"Is any of it safe to eat?" Geoff asked.
"Um, it's CHRIS we're talking about here," Katie huffed, "NOTHING is safe."
"So what do we do?" LeShawna asked, "Just sit here all day?"
"In front of all of this… FOOD…" Owen groaned, "I just… one bite… "
"I wouldn't do it bro," Geoff warned, "Katie's right on this one."
"Wait," Lindsay said, "where are we again?"
Before anyone could answer her, Chris walked into the tent, with Heather and Cody at his side.
"Well, here we all are!" Chris smiled, "The Season Two finale! Cody and Heather, you managed to outlast twelve other competitors- I mean, we're not going to include me, because I could have won the game if I wanted to- and make it to this point. So, for today's final challenge, you each get to pick three helpers- anyone you want!"
"Sorry I'm late," Duncan said, rushing back into the tent, "I was having… issues."
"And here's me, not giving a shit," Chris snapped, "who do you pick, Cody?"
"Um," Cody thought, "I pick Justin, Trent… and Gwen."
The three teens stepped forward, and took their places next to Cody.
"We're with you, bro," Trent said, offering a smile.
"We'll take her down," Justin nodded, "just you wait."
"And who do you pick, Heather?" Chris asked.
"Um," Heather thought, "well, I guess. Katie, Ezekiel… and… Duncan?"
Katie shrugged, and stepped forward.
"Wait, why me?" Ezekiel asked.
"You're a mindless follower," Heather snapped, "exactly the kind of person I need."
"No I'm not!" Ezekiel protested.
"Yes you are!" Heather snapped, "Now go stand behind Katie!"
"Okay, sorry," Ezekiel grumbled.
"Okay," Chris smiled, "the eight of you, step outside, and we'll get this thing underway."
Chris led Cody, Heather, and their respective teams outside. The host pointed off into the distance, where what looked like a huge church had been set up practically over night.
"For the final challenge of the season," Chris said, "we'll be doing one of the most awesome movies ever- The Crow. Cody, you'll be taking on the role of protagonist. You get to wear the cool make up, carry a guitar, the whole deal. I would also like to point out we're doing the original Crow, as I don't want our show to be associated with any of the dreadful sequels. Honestly, films like The Crow and The highlander should just be left alone- my god."
"What?" Cody asked.
"The Crow versus the Highlander!" Chris exclaimed, "It's genius! They're both immortal, so- MY GOD, SOMEONE WRITE THIS DOWN!"
"Um, weren't you just talking about how movies like that shouldn't be remade?" Trent asked.
"Pfft," Justin scoffed, "don't even get me started."
"Oh yeah," Trent muttered, "sorry man."
"Anyway," Chris continued, "Heather, you'll play the role of antagonist. You'll be holed up in the church, like the final scene of the movie. Here's the deal- you'll have the million dollar briefcase with you. You have to hold on to that briefcase for an entire hour. If Cody gets his hands on it before the hour is up, he wins the challenge, and therefore the money. If you manage to go the entire time without losing the case, you'll win the money."
"Wait," Heather said, "all I have to do is protect a stupid CASE for an hour?"
"Yeah," Chris said, "you also get airsoft guns and everything. While they aren't lethal, they hurt like hell if you get shot by one. So Cody will attempt to lead Justin, Trent and Gwen inside, take out your goons, and grab the money. That's it- no rules. No clean fight. I fully expect you to do whatever it takes to get that money. So Heather, your gear is already in the church. Go in and get ready- make a plan, whatever. In the meantime, I'll take Cody and his group to get suited up."
"Great," Heather smirked, "c'mon, guys. I know what we're doing."
Heather and her group walked off into the distance, leaving a nervous Cody behind.
"Great," the geek sighed, "I'm boned."
"what makes you say that?" Trent asked.
"Because it's HEATHER!" Cody exclaimed, "The challenge seems simple enough, but Chris is doing it to draw out Heather's sinister planning! She's going to try and stop me no matter what!"
"Don't worry," Trent smiled, "we have your back. Katie's a bitch, Ezekiel has no backbone, and Duncan has the IQ of a carrot."
"Yeah," Justin agreed, "how about this. We'll divide into two groups- Trent and I will go in and distract Katie, Ezekiel, and Duncan, while you and Gwen go get the money. Knowing Heather, she's probably going to hide it somewhere in the church."
"You sure?" Cody asked, "They have airsoft guns..."
"And?" Justin asked.
"They do hurt," Trent put in, "like, really, really bad. I've almost had my eye taken out by one before."
"Whatever," Justin said, "honestly, I've been waiting to get a crack at Duncan for a while, so I'm not going to pass this chance up."
"My god," Chris groaned, "just stop talking! You're giving me a migraine! Cody, follow me to the make-up confessional, and we'll get this started!"
Meanwhile, at the church, Heather was surveying the room for anything she could use to her advantage.
"Well?" Katie demanded, "Our orders?"
"Oh yeah," Heather said, "hm. Well, they're likely to come in through the front door. Ezekiel, stay here, shot anything that comes in through here. Katie, I want you positioned around the back door. While shooting is always nice, I want you to rig traps to prevent anyone from sneaking in. If they involve fire, you get bonus points. Duncan, wait midway up the stairs. Same as Katie- slow them down in anyway possible. I'll be on the roof."
"That's it?" Duncan asked, "Just waiting on the roof, out in the open?"
"If you do your damn jobs," Heather snapped, "All I'll need to do is wait it out. And then, I get this."
Heather held up the briefcase, and smiled.
"I didn't come all this way for nothing," she snapped, "if any of you screw up, I'm going to personally cut off your face, put it between two slices of bread, and make you eat it. WE CLEAR?"
"YES!" Duncan and Ezekiel exclaimed.
"Hm," Katie thought, "I like it."
"Move out!" Heather ordered, "ONE HOUR!
Cody had finished getting ready. He emerged from the confessional wearing a trench coat, face paint, and a guitar around his shoulder.
"Hey Cody," Justin said, "can I have that guitar? It'll make beating Duncan twice as productive."
"Here you go," Cody shrugged, handing the guitar to Justin, "well, this is it guys. Even if I don't win… thanks for being here for me."
"Dude," Trent chuckled, "I told you, we got this. I won last season, and Justin has made it to the final five both times. Gwen herself was only just eliminated last episode. We're some of the best players reality TV has to offer."
"Yeah," Cody smiled, "yeah, okay."
"Well, let's get going," Gwen sighed, "Cody, I guess you'll want to sneak around back, right?"
"Yeah," Cody said, "you guys will go in front, make some noise, try to draw everyone's attention. Gwen and I will focus on finding Heather."
"Alright," Trent said, "let's do this!"
Trent and Justin approached the front of the church, and glanced at the front door.
"Okay," Trent said, "I know we're supposed to just barge in, but do you think we could do something to gain the advantage? I mean, we'll make noise and all, but anything to gain the edge?"
"Uh," Justin thought, "I don't know. But we really don't have time to think about this."
Justin walked over, raised his foot, and kicked the door in.
"FREEZE!" Ezekiel screamed.
"It's cool," Justin told Trent, "it's just Ezekiel, that's all."
"HEY!" Ezekiel exclaimed, "What do you mean, it's JUST me?"
Justin walked across the room, grabbed Ezekiel, and shoved him up against a wall.
"Wait!" Ezekiel said, "Don't-"
Justin raised his fist, but Ezekiel just fainted.
"Huh," Justin murmured, "I'm kind of… disappointed."
"Yeah," Trent agreed, "I've always hated that guy."
Justin leaned over, picked up Ezekiel's gun, and tossed it to Trent.
"Thanks," Trent said, " but, uh… do you think it's weird only Ezekiel was here to greet us?"
"What makes you say that?" Justin asked.
"Coming in, I figured one of two things would happen," Trent shrugged, "either we would get the attention of nearly everyone, or nothing would happen. If nothing happened, that would have meant Heather was planning for something like this."
"Oh, shit," Justin groaned, "dude, you're right! That means Cody and Gwen-"
"Listen," Trent said, "I think they'll be fine. We managed to take out Ezekiel- I'll be willing to bet they can make it past whatever Heather has. She probably just wants to slow them down. If WE keep pushing forward, I think we should be able to get the case and bring it back to Cody."
Justin thought it over a moment.
"Yeah," he said after a while, "that makes sense. I'm pretty sure there's no basement, so we might as well just go upstairs first."
Trent nodded, and the two made their way towards the staircase.
Meanwhile, Cody and Gwen finally reached the back door. They probably could have made it minutes earlier, but Cody insisted that they be a slow as possible, so no one was alerted to their presence.
"I don't understand it," Cody said, "I don't hear much from inside… but we haven't gotten much trouble out here either."
"It's probably nothing," Gwen shrugged, "maybe Heather really had no plan."
"Oh no," Cody said, "Heather ALWAYS has a plan. That's the whole reason she got here."
"We won't know until we go in," Gwen shrugged, "may as well take the chance."
Cody sighed, and pulled the door open. As soon as he did, however, a log swung out and hit him square in the face.
"Huh," Gwen said, "the old 'swinging log' trap."
Cody just lay on the ground, moaning.
"Cody!" Gwen exclaimed, "You okay?"
"No," he groaned.
Gwen helped the geek to his feet. Cody's nose was bloody, and the left side of his face was quickly swelling up.
"Do you want to sit down for a little while?" Gwen asked, "We still have time-"
"No, no," Cody insisted, "we have to keep going."
"Alright," Gwen shrugged, "I'll go first since- well, I'll go first."
Gwen led Cody through the church. They eventually came to a flight of stairs, and the two stopped.
"There's probably something set up for us," Gwen reasoned.
"Yeah," Cody nodded, "it's an obvious location for a trap. Do you see any other ways up?"
"Well," Gwen murmured, "there's probably another set of stairs near the front of the building, but… if that were the case, Justin and Trent will have gone that way."
"So what, do we just take our chances then?" Cody asked.
"No," Gwen thought, "I bet if we look around, maybe we can find an alternate- CODY!"
The geek had already rushed on ahead, and was sprinting up the stairs. Soon enough, a barrel was sent rocketing down the staircase.
"GAH!" Cody exclaimed.
The barrel took Cody's feet out from under him, and the boy fell back down the stairs.
"Well," he groaned, "so much for that…"
"Wait a second," Gwen said, "did you trigger anything on the way up? A switch, maybe trip wire?"
"No, I don't think so," Cody replied.
"That means someone is at the top of this staircase," Gwen told him, "so they'll be throwing things our way manually. But there's gotta be someway they could tell you were coming."
Gwen walked over to the base of the stairs, then craned her neck.
"Aha!" she exclaimed.
"What?" Cody asked.
"Whoever it is, they set up a reflective mirror," Gwen said, "see it?"
Cody squinted his eyes.
"Hey, yeah," he muttered, "how did I not notice that before?"
"Who knows?" Gwen yawned, "We just need to find out a way to take out the mirror, and they won't be able to tell when we're heading up."
"I don't suppose we can find anything to throw?" Cody asked, "Maybe a ball or something?"
As Cody turned to look at Gwen, a chair went rocketing past his face, and flew into the mirror, shattering it.
"Well," Cody shrugged, "that's one way to do it."
"Now whoever's up there has to go off of guesswork," Gwen whispered, "so how about I go first? When they try to launch a trap at me-"
"Um, do you smell gasoline?" Cody asked.
The two turned, and saw that some sort of liquid was tickling down the stairs.
"Crap," Gwen groaned.
The stairs then burst into flames, leaving Cody and Gwen furious.
"Great!" Gwen exclaimed, "Now we can't go up no matter what!"
"They must have been mad we took out that mirror," Cody shrugged, "so they made sure to take out the option of going up the stairs entirely."
"Whatever, no use dwelling on it now," Gwen shrugged, "we're running out of time, and we have a million dollars to win you. We'll try to find another way up."
Meanwhile, Trent and Justin were navigating the other flight of stairs, making their way past various traps Duncan had set up. They were easy enough to get around, since it was Duncan who made them, but they were also time consuming as hell.
"I'll kill him," Justin grumbled, "when we find that prick-"
The two finally reached the top of the staircase, where Duncan was waiting, and incredibly worried look on his face.
"Crap," he groaned.
The punk began reaching around, and throwing anything he could find at the two.
"Duncan, you're just making this worse on yourself," Justin snapped.
"Yeah?" Duncan asked, "Get past THIS!"
The punk shoved an entire refrigerator down the staircase at the two.
"Um, where did you even get-" Trent began.
The two were knocked off of their feet, and sent flying to the bottom of the staircase. The refrigerator also landed on the two, pinning them down.
"Heh heh heh," Duncan snickered, "take THAT!"
Cody and Gwen arrived on the scene, only to find what had become of Justin and Trent.
"GAH!" Cody exclaimed, "You guys okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," Justin coughed, "I'm just trying to understand the logic loop here. He got a refrigerator in the middle of a FAKE church, and somehow dragged it up a flight of stairs."
"I don't know," Trent shrugged, "plot convenience?"
"HOW THE HELL IS THIS CONVENIENT?" Justin demanded.
"Well, convenient for them," Trent shrugged, "sucks to be us."
"Hold on," Cody said, "I'll get you-"
"No time," Trent said, "you only have like, five minutes left-"
"How did that happen?" Justin asked, "It doesn't seem like this should have taken so long-"
"Okay, okay, it was oddly written," Trent agreed, "but we don't have the time to argue. Listen Cody, Heather has to be on the roof- just make your way past Duncan and you'll be there."
"Alright," Cody nodded, "thanks, guys."
Cody and Gwen rushed up the stairs to find a shocked Duncan waiting for them.
"Great, YOU guys?" he groaned.
Without a word, Cody kicked Duncan in the groin. The punk lurched over, and tumbled down the staircase.
"Damn it Cody," Gwen groaned, "I wanted to do that!"
"I'm pretty sure everyone did," Cody shrugged, "come on, we have to go!"
At last, the two finally made it to the roof, with just two minutes on the clock. Heather, who was standing on the other side, gave them the cliché villain slow clap.
"Well, well," Heather smirked, "glad to see you guys made it up here alright."
"Heather, just hand over the money," Cody snapped, "you lost."
"Me? Lose? I don't think so," Heather laughed, "you forgot about my helper."
"But we took out Duncan," Cody snapped, "and Ezekiel was knocked out when we came in, that doesn't leave anyone-"
"You sure?" Heather smiled.
"I don't have time for this!" Cody exclaimed.
The geek rushed towards Heather, who remained unmoving.
"Checkmate," she smiled.
"What?" Cody asked.
Heather jerked her head in Cody's direction. The boy turned around to see Katie had snuck up from behind Gwen.
"Look out!" Cody exclaimed.
Katie shoved Gwen towards the edge of the roof. The Goth girl tried to regain her balance, but fell over the side. However, by a bit of freak luck (but mostly plot convenience) she managed to grab on to the edge of the roof.
"Gwen!" Cody exclaimed, running towards her.
"And I'd like to take this time to remind you there's only thirty seconds on the clock," Heather smiled, "make a choice, Cody. Tick tock."
Cody looked back and forth between Heather and Gwen.
"Grab the money, Cody!" Gwen told him, "Seriously, I'll be fine!"
"It's a pretty long fall," Heather shrugged, "but, if you want to risk it-"
"DAMN IT!" Cody exclaimed, "I still say this is the most stupid and cliché movie scenario ever!"
The geek rushed over to Gwen, and pulled her up onto the roof.
"Idiot," Gwen snapped, "did it occur to you to grab the money from Heather, THEN come save me?"
"Oh," Cody frowned, "I… hadn't thought of that."
"And because you didn't think of it," Chris said, suddenly appearing beside the two, "it cost you a million dollars! The winner of Camp TV Beyond the Set is HEATHER!"
"YES!" Heather exclaimed, "I WON! I WON I WON I WON I WON I WON-"
Cody sighed, and looked at his feet.
"Hey," Gwen smiled, "you did your best, Cody."
Amidst Heather's celebrating, Chris' phone began to ring.
"Hello?" Chris answered, "Oh, hey Courtney- oh, that so? Uh huh? Really? That sucks- you're SURE that's the only- uh huh. Uh huh…. Yeah, okay."
Chris hung up his phone, and put it back in his pocket.
"Bad news, guys," Chris said, "it seems that, despite planning for a third season, we're under budget by a lot of money… we can't actually afford another season."
"Good!" Gwen said, "This show SUCKED!"
"But," Chris said, making his way over to Heather, "turns out we only went under budget by- a million dollars."
"Wait, what?" Heather asked, "What are you-"
"YOINK!" Chris exclaimed, taking the briefcase from Heather.
"HEY!" Heather exclaimed, "You can't do that! I WON THAT MONEY!"
"I can, and I did," Chris smirked, "you signed a contract. So, while you officially won Camp TV Beyond the Set, you get…. NOTHING. HA!"
"But, you can't-" Heather spluttered, "I- I-"
"Well, that's karma for you," Gwen smirked.
Later on, all of the contestants were gathered back at the craft's and services tent.
"Sorry you didn't win," Trent told Cody, "but you did the right thing back there."
"Yeah," Cody smiled, "but I mean, the money would have been taken back anyway, so I suppose it doesn't really make a difference."
"I WAS ROBBED!" Heather exclaimed, "I WON THAT MONEY! I WON-"
"Actually Heather," Chris said, poking his head into the tent, "why don't you come outside? We have a consolation prize in exchange for the money."
Heather glared at Chris.
"This better be good," she hissed.
"Oh, it is," Chris snickered.
Everyone followed Heather outside of the tent, where a huge crate was waiting outside.
Heather's eyes lit up.
"What is it?" she asked, "Is it like, a car or something?"
"Uh, yeah?" Chris smiled, "How'd you know?"
Heather rushed over to the box, and tried to pry it open with her bare hands.
"Somebody get me a crowbar or something- oh, thanks Chris."
"Don't mention it," the host smiled.
Heather took the crowbar Chris had handed her, and began to open the crate. At last, she managed to rip it open. Inside of the crate were five mutant sheep teens.
"That's not-" Heather gasped.
Chris shoved Heather inside the crate, then put the lid back on. Chris fished around in one of his pockets, pulled out a chain, and wrapped it around the crate.
"Well," the host smiled, "that take's care of her. Who wants some ice cream?"
Everyone cheered.
"That's great," Chris smiled, "you can all stay and watch ME eat it!"
"Of course," Noah shrugged, rolling his eyes, "who didn't see that one coming?"
"Whatever, I'm going back on the bus," Geoff shrugged.
Everyone murmured their agreements, and followed Geoff out of the film lot.
Chris shrugged, a smile back on his face.
"Well, there you have it folks!" he announced, "The end of another season! We're done with this batch of campers- or are we? CHEF?"
Chef appeared next to Chris, holding a glowing green box.
"Hold on to that for a little while longer," Chris snickered, "we'll be needing it soon enough. So that's it for now folks- but make sure to tune in to the next Reality Award show, where we've been nominated for Show of the Year. I can promise you that you WON'T want to miss it. We'll see you next time on
CAMP TV!"
(A/N: So, turn out how you expect? And if the ending seemed cheesy and cliché, that's because I wanted it to be. That was actually the whole joke of the season. The whole over-the-top storyline with Cody and The Shadow, Chris getting fired and infiltrating the show, the military showing up… it's all been making fun of over-the-top movies with completely ridiculous plots. So, yeah. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the season so far- only one chapter left, and I plan on posting it later today or tomorrow. Let me know what you thought of the finale!)