So, here's chapter 2! Thank you for all the reviews. You've left me speechless! I hope you like this!
Chapter 2
I opened the door to the boarding house, not caring at all that my brother and his singer was going to get shocked by the amount of blood on my shirt. Good thing I'm an 'all black' guy. Blood was never that visible on black clothes, comparing it to other colors. I was exhausted, after doing my packing again and again, and finally going to see that little girl. No matter what I did, I wasn't able to get her off my mind. Oh well, I would forget her eventually. And that annoying thumping in my chest would stop. I would go back to normal, living life as if nothing had happened.
"Damon? Is that you?"
Stefan came walking down the stairs, this time not wearing a shirt, only his jeans. Suddenly I was glad I didn't come home five minutes earlier. Listening to him and Blondie screw each other's brains out wasn't exactly my kind of entertainment. I didn't need to be reminded that I hadn't had sex tonight, and the sun was coming up. I just wanted to go to my shower, get that nasty perfume off my clothes and my skin, and go to bed.
I did already know, however, that I wouldn't be getting much sleep, thanks to the loud noise coming from my chest. God, was I really going to go with that for the next 24 years?
"No, little brother, it's a vampire hunter, coming to tell you to start living as a real vampire instead of a freaking vegetarian."
Okay, so I might not have been in the best of moods. But to be fair, Stefan has always been the one to ask the most stupid questions. Like that one. Why shouldn't it be me? Who the fuck else would go to the old boarding house, when obviously, someone was living there? Sometimes I wondered if I was the one getting every single functional brain cell from our parents. It sure did seem like it most of the time.
"Did you go and- oh my God, did you kill her?!"
Stefan's eyes went wide as they focused on my blood soaked shirt. I flashed him a smirk and started unbuttoning my shirt.
"No, stupid. Can't you hear my heart? I think this one was called... I don't even know her name. But she definitely deserved to die. And I needed a meal, so convenient!" I said, loosing the shirt and making my way to the stairs, where Stefan had frozen into place, looking at the shirt. God, him and his human blood. He'd been off human blood for 82 years, but he still seemed like the same recovering addict he'd been back then. At least I hadn't been around when he'd started drinking that awful shit. He'd laid off the human blood for Caroline's sake. As soon as his heart had started, he'd gotten off it, accepting the boring role of being a protector of a human.
Stupid idiot.
"Don't even think about it. You are not going anywhere near this or any human blood. Forget it," I said, starting to walk up the stairs to get rid of the shirt. No matter how much I hated Stefan's vegetarian diet, I knew it was better that he stayed on that, rather than becoming 'The Ripper' again. I really didn't want to start cleaning up after his mess again.
"Did you go and see her?" I heard his question from the parlor, even though it was spoken with normal volume. I was a vampire for God's sake, I would've heard if he whispered it.
"So not any of your business," I said, closing the door to my room, shutting him and the rest of the world out. I really didn't want to deal with all this singer piss right now. I just wanted to go and enjoy a warm shower, getting that bitch's perfume of my freaking skin.
But right as I stepped under the sprays of the shower, I felt it. My heart rate sped up, only a little bit. Elena was awake. She wasn't sleeping anymore. And immediately I caught my self thinking about her. I wondered what she was doing. Probably resting in her parent's arms, pretending to be a completely ordinary little baby. If only they knew.
They would probably never have any idea, just how special that little girl was. She probably didn't laugh and giggle when she was around them. Human babies didn't start showing emotions like that, when they were only 30 hours old. This girl was something special, and she was mine to protect.
God, I had to stop thinking about her! She was ruining my life, taking away my sleep with that annoying heart beat. She was a human, for Christ sake! Nothing more than that!
I groaned and leaned my head back, letting the water roll down my body. One in freaking three vampires got a singer, and I had to be one of them? Me of all people? I had to be the most unfitting person to take care of a silly little human. I was supposed to protect that little girl.
I let my mind go back to when I visited her in the hospital. What the hell had happened? As soon as I had seen her, it was like all of my troubles had disappeared. She had been the only thing that mattered. How was that even possible? A human, that mattered to me? Not in this life time!
But if I only felt like that when I was with her, my solution was easy enough. I just had to stay away from her, and let her live her life.
The picture of her small hands around my finger and the beautiful sound from her laugh made it's way into my mind. How would I be able to not protect that little human? How could I leave her alone?
I seriously needed a drink.
It was around eight PM, when I was starting to get frustrated. I had been drinking ever since I got out of the shower, and I was above the line of wasted. And that infamous thing in my chest, wouldn't stop beating! I just wanted it to freaking stop!
That little girl deserved someone good. Someone like my saint like brother. Not someone like me. I was way too sinister for her. I killed people, for Christ's sake! I would have to stop that, to be good. I would have to start compelling my victims, and let them go. I would have to stop drinking. And I would have to follow her everywhere, sitting in the shadows and watching her grow up.
I could never be that good person for her! Of course I couldn't!
Making a quick decision, I threw my glass to the fireplace and pushed my hand into my own chest. It hurt like hell, yes. But with my hand around my heart, I might be able to stop it! I just wanted it to be quiet. Just for a minute.
Of course it didn't help at all. Actually, it did the complete opposite. The annoying thumping sped up. Elena was either awake again or getting worked up. Could she be afraid?
"Damon- Wow, what the hell are you doing?"
Stefan stopped dead in his tracks as he saw me sitting on the couch, my hand plunged into my chest, grabbing heart painfully. I probably should put on the sarcastic mask, but I was way too drunk to care.
"It. Won't. Stop!" I said, my teeth clenched from the pain of holding my own heart in my hand. I wasn't new to the pain of having someone's hand in my chest, but having to actually grab my heart my self, was tough.
"And it probably won't either, if you rip it out. Actually, you'll probably just die and probably hurt your singer in the process. You're connected. You can't know if she can feel this, and is in pain, just like you. Just let it go, Damon..."
He moved closer to me, small careful steps, his eyes never leaving my body. He was right. He was fucking right. I let go and pulled out my hand, looking at the blood that drenched my hand. I'd held Elena in those hands just 24 hours ago. That hand that was now covered in blood, and that wasn't unusual for me. I couldn't be what I needed to be.
"I can't do this, Stefan. I have no idea what I'm doing. This isn't me. This singer shit. It's you... I'm the bad guy, remember? I kill people, I love being a vampire. I love being a predator. But this little human... How am I supposed to protect her? She deserves better. She deserves a vampire that'll actually be there, will actually protect her..."
I was a whimp, a pussy, but the alcohol did that I really didn't care at all. Stefan was here, and my statement had been true. Stefan had been great as soon as his heart had started beating. He'd changed his whole life for Caroline, going off human blood and becoming the hero he was today. I wouldn't be able to do that for Elena. I wanted to, God, I wanted to. But I couldn't.
"You went to see her, didn't you?" Stefan asked, as he sat down next to me, looking at me. I nodded and cleaned my hand in my ruined shirt. Why had I even put on a shirt? I wasn't going to leave the house anyway.
"And did you kill her?" he asked. My head immediately snapped up, looking at him with narrowed eyes. How could he think that I would ever harm her? How could he think that I would be able to kill her?
"Did you feel like drinking from her?"
I felt disgusted just by the thought. Drinking from Elena. Taking something against her will, from someone that small, that pure. No. I would never drink from her.
"Of course I didn't feel like drinking from her! I could never harm her, Stefan, never!" I felt like holding him by his throat, just for mentioning that. I would never ever do something like that to her. Of course I wouldn't.
"You held her, didn't you? And did you break any of her bones?" Stefan kept going, not caring about my answer. I let out a growl and pinned him to the sofa by his throat, by blood covered right hand tightening it's grip. Even after ripping a hole in my chest, I was stronger than him.
"Exactly..." I loosened my grip and pulled away from him again. What if anything like that happened with Elena? What if I lost control, being with her? She was nothing but a small, fragile human. I could break one of her bones with one finger. A single time of losing control, could cause her death.
"You don't have to know what to do. It'll come to you. You just know. Your instincts will be there to catch you. Just accept it, Damon. You have a singer. And you're ready for it. It'll come to you."
I shook my head at Stefan's words, and buried my face in my hands. It wouldn't just come to be. I'd been there, I'd held her and I'd seen her giggle at me. I hadn't hurt her. But I would. I was so strong, comparing to her weak body. I could lose control, so easy.
"I'm not, Stefan. I'm not like you. I'm not the hero type. I can't just change my entire life for this girl. And she deserves someone who can. I'm the bad guy! I kill, I feed, I screw around, I drink myself into a stupor. I can't be the person she needs. I can't be the protector she needs! God damn it, Stefan, I'm not good enough."
I walked to the bar, pouring my self another glass of bourbon. I didn't want this drunken haze to go away. I wanted it to stay. Maybe then I would be able to ignore my beating heart. It had slowed down again. Elena was asleep.
"It'll come, Damon. Go up, shower and get some rest. And then you can go see her in the morning or something like that. You need to visit her. You need to see her," Stefan said, standing up from the couch. I raised an eyebrow at him and threw the liquid down my throat. It burnt all the way down, and I liked it. It was a feeling I knew, a feeling I was used to. The alcohol warming it's way all down my throat, making my senses blur.
Stefan took away the glass and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I knew there was no way around. I sighed and walked towards the stairs, ready to go up and do exactly as he told me. He was, after all, the one with the experience about singers.
When I woke up, it was almost 3 PM and the afternoon sun was shining brightly through my window. If I had been a human, my head would've killed me, but lucky for me, vampires don't get hangovers. That didn't change the fact that the sun was annoying, though.
As soon as my eyes had adjusted to the light in my room, I let my focus go to my chest. My heart was beating steadily, telling me Elena was still sleeping. Didn't that girl do anything besides sleeping?
As I was laying in my bed, I let my mind wander on the night before. The talk with Stefan had been pretty unusual for our relationship. Ever since the catastrophe that happened when we turned, we hadn't really been close, and in the beginning I'd really missed my little brother. But then I'd found out the thing that had made me go through those years. Vampires are able to turn their emotions off. And I loved being without emotions. But Elena brought them back, and Stefan had managed to as well yesterday. I was getting way too close to turning them on again, and I wasn't ready for that yet. I loved being without emotions. That was what made me able to kill people without feeling any kind of remorse. That, and the fact that I hated those silly humans.
I sighed and got off the bed, throwing on some random clothes. Stefan was right. I needed to see her again, no matter how much I wanted to stay away. I had to say goodbye to her before I left the country. I couldn't stay here and risk her life by being in it. She would be fine. I would protect her by leaving. It would work out.
I pulled out a duffel bag from a closet, starting to pack clothes. I would resume the plan I'd left two days ago. I was going to fly to Italy and spend some time there. It was, after all, my home country. Maybe I would go back and visit my mother's grave. I hadn't visited in almost 40 years. It was time to go back.
Okay, so maybe my emotions wasn't off all the time. I allowed them to come back once in a while – but only when I could control it. I couldn't with Elena. For God's sake, a small human baby had made me do stuff I would never ever do normally.
Which is why I couldn't trust myself with being around her. I could lose control at any moment. I could have her by her throat if she ever decided to go against me, or say something I didn't like, when she was bigger. I could kill her so easily, and I couldn't let my self do that. I couldn't live with my self, if I ever hurt her.
Taking a break from my packing, I went downstairs to get a blood-bag and a glass of bourbon. I needed to be sure I wasn't going to just attack her, when I got there. It was possibly the last time I ever got to see her and I wanted to be able to say a proper goodbye to her. She was, after all, pretty special.
As soon as I stepped inside, Caroline was sitting in the parlor, doing some work stuff. Yes, Caroline, a vampire, almost 83 years old, had a job. I'd always seen it as pretty stupid. For God's sake, we were vampires! We didn't need jobs! We stole from our victims and had no problem getting money. If it was a trouble, we compelled the way out of it. Why spend time on working?
Apparently Caroline thought it was a nice thing to keep her humanity intact. I had to scoff. Humanity? Who the hell needed their humanity!? But no, Caroline wanted to be like Stefan, and went on, trying to be as human as possible.
Hence the reason she was working as an event planner. Stefan told me she was great at it, but I really couldn't care less. It was a stupid job, a stupid idea, and I didn't even want to know what she did.
I was, however, pretty interested in what it was like, being a singer. And she might be the perfect person to ask. Maybe I could try convincing her I was trying to get my emotions back, to be the person Elena deserved. That would be a lie. I don't let my emotions stay permanently. Never.
"Did you go to see her?" Caroline asked, as I went to the bourbon and poured my self a glass. I turned around and raised an eyebrow at her. She hadn't even looked up from her work. She knew how to use some of her vampire perks, at least.
"Yeah... I did," I said, not seeing the point of lying. Stefan had probably already told her. She was probably just trying to be polite as always, trying to cover up just how nosy she was. Even before turning, Caroline had known everything about everyone and what was going on in her neighborhood.
"Let me guess, she woke up, touched you and seemed a bit too happy for a newborn?"
I almost choked on my bourbon. How the hell did she know that? She finally looked up from her work and smiled at me, knowingly. That had to mean that something similar had happened to Caroline. What had happened with Elena wasn't unusual for a singer.
"Stefan told me about the first time I met him. Actually, he just kind of told me the full story, after he told me what I was and what he was. She'll do unusual stuff when you're around her. Don't be surprised if she starts saying your name in a month or two. And she'll probably always be happy and safe when you're around. That will falter when she get's older. She'll always feel safe when you're there, but not as much as when she's still just a baby."
I had no idea how to react to that one. Elena wouldn't be saying my name in a couple of months, because I wouldn't be there. I would be in Italy, my emotions off, draining girls and having fun. I needed to get away. I needed a sea between us, because then I wouldn't come running back. I wasn't going to.
"I'm going to leave the country. I, um... Say bye to Stefan from me."
I used my vampire speed to get to my room, gathering my duffel bags, a couple of blood-bags, and then got down to my car. Stefan was leaning on his own car, looking at me with his arms crossed over his chest.
"You can't fight it, you know." He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. Great, baby bro had strapped on the hero hair, trying to save me from being a big badass vampire. Well, guess what, too late.
"Don't try to save me, Stefan. I'm going out of the country, and I'm not returning within 50 years. You and Caroline have a good time here until then."
I threw my duffel bags in the back of my car and got in with a blood-bag in the hand. He didn't need to know that the airport wasn't my first stop. He just sighed and shook his head, returning to the house. I pulled out, draining the bag while turning on the radio. I was going to see her again.
My timing was totally perfect. By the time I had reached the hospital and compelled the receptionist, Elena's parents had gone to sleep, leaving Elena in one of those rooms with other babies. I quickly made my way up there, finding the same nurse patrolling the hallways. She smiled at me, and once again asked me which one was mine. This time I didn't have time to talk to her. I just compelled her to let me in and give me a bottle with milk.
When I was standing next to Elena's crib, I looked down at her with a faint smile on my lips. Her heart was beating slowly, indicating she was sleeping. She looked so peaceful, laying there, wrapped in a pink blanket. Her name was printed on her tiny beanie and her face looked relaxed.
This time I didn't hesitate to carefully pick her up and place her in my arms. I know I shouldn't hold her. I could break her. But I just couldn't stay away from her.
Her small eyes opened as soon as I touched her, and as they slowly focused on me, a smile spread across her lips and her hand fought to get out of the blanket. I carefully unwrapped it and her hand gripped my finger again. A full-blown smile made it's way onto my lips, as I cradled her, making sure she was comfortable.
"Hello, little Elena." I whispered, careful not to wake any of the others babies. A small giggle escaped her lips when I said her name, and her grip around my finger tightened.
"You're very special, do you know that?" I suddenly found my self at loss for words. How the hell did I tell her that I was going to leave her? And how would I even be able to go through with it? How would I be able to leave this tiny girl? I wanted to stay here. I wanted to watch her grow up, and protect her from any kind of heartbreak. I wanted to protect her when she was old enough to go out, being at the bars she went to, and making sure no one touched her.
I wanted to be there to see her do all the cliche stuff. I just wanted to be there.
"And I am going to be protecting you. For all of your life. You're probably never going to see me, but I'll be there. I will make sure you live the most amazing life ever. You have something good to look forward to."
I didn't even think, as the words left my mouth. I just knew they were true. Of course I couldn't leave her! I was made for her. She was made for me. How could I leave her? I needed to protect her. I needed to be there.
"And you are probably starving. Which is why I am going to feed you."
The nurse handed me the bottle, and I felt our hearts speed up in synchronization. I chuckled lightly and held it to her mouth. She let go of my finger and reached for the bottle. I just held it there, letting her take what she wanted to. I was fucked, I was whipped, and I didn't care.
Four hours later, I was walking through the parlor, my duffel bag on my back. Stefan was sitting on the couch, Caroline snuggled into his body, sleeping. He smirked at me, seeming way too smug about the fact that I was back home.
"Shut it."
So, I really really hope you like it! I have to mention that if you have ANY questions about the whole singer thing or stuff like that - I'll answer, unless it'll spoil something for later!
So, leave a review, PLEASE and I'll see you the next time!