I feel pretty bad about this chapter, essentially all of them are filler chapters until like Chapter Ten or somewhere around there, but in the fillers I've got to get you guys to like River, and to get the right feelings about the other characters, and that's pretty tough for me to do.
Anyhow...
I've never been to a bonfire before, and though the prospect of everyone sitting happily around an open flame excited something inside me, there was also the painfully obvious elephant in the room. And my feelings for Jacob just so happened to be the elephant stood between Bella and myself.
So, I gave Charlie some crappy cover story about needing to run the oil through my bike's pipes after taking it apart so that he'd let me follow the truck there. I couldn't have sat between him and Bella if you'd paid me.
I tried to be helpful and help prepare food with Bella, but we both basically ignored one another, and I couldn't help but wonder if she saw Jacob kiss me. Was she angry with me? She had a right to be angry with me, I'd kissed the guy that she obviously had a hold over. God, how could I do that to her? I feel like shit.
Anyway, I ended up almost slicing my hand in half -literally, I had to go to the local hospital to have them look at my hand. Thirteen stitches later though I'm as good as new. I don't know how I'll explain them not being there in the morning though.
After many painkillers I managed to convince Charlie that I was fine to ride my bike, telling him that it calmed me, and after today's hysteria with my panic attacks he said yes to anything that I claimed to be calming.
I quickly apply the last coat of varnish to my bike before we set off, letting it dry for only a few minutes before getting on. Thankfully, there are no plates where my legs go, so there's no risk of me getting the varnish on my legs or smudging the varnish on the bike. I thank god that someone's wiped down my bike jacket and the visor on my helmet as I sit on the seat and pull my helmet over my head.
Starting the engine, I kick the stand off and wheel the bike backwards only to feel it sag at the front.
I jump off it and curse. How the fuck did I forget to replace the wheel?
I wave Bella off, telling her to go and that I'll only be a few minutes behind.
She doesn't need telling twice and zooms away, her wheels practically skidding on the floor.
The second I know she's gone I tear my bracelet from my wrist, sick of being weak. I flip my bike over with ease, grabbing the right tools before loosening the right bolts and pulling the old damaged wheel from the bike's chassis and holding the new one in place. I feel all of my injuries knitting themselves back together quickly, so to ensure that I heal properly, I rip the knot in my stitches with my teeth before pulling them out entirely with no more than a wince.
I grab my two carabiners -basically two clips that you'd use to hold a bungee harness to the bungee cords- and use them to strap either side of my messenger bag's straps to the belt loops in my black skinny jeans before flipping the bike back over and shoving the tools away.
The power that floods my veins without the silver touching my skin is both incredible, and frightening, so I secure the bracelet back on, sighing as the strength leaves my body, leaving me entirely human once more as I swing my leg back to straddle my bike, taking off. I stand on my foot pegs, looking over the cars in front of me to see the truck. I squint, but see nothing, so I begin to weave through the traffic until I see the telltale orange that only Bella's truck can sport. I race over to it quickly, trying not to jump every time a car moves in my peripheral vision. By the time I reach the truck she's already moving quicker, so I slot in behind her, nodding my thanks to the car behind her for letting me in.
We reach the beach and its parking bay pretty quickly, but there are no spaces beside Bella's truck when she parks it, and I have an inkling that she parked like that on purpose to spite me. I park at the other end of the available spaces, quickly wrapping the bandages I discarded back around my hand in case Charlie, Bella or Jacob notice that my stitches are gone.
Bella and Jacob are nowhere in sight, but as I take my chains from under my seat and link everything together, I notice Charlie standing by the hood of Bella's truck, looking directly at me. He waves me over with a smile. I return his smile, wondering is his is fake, merely there to make me feel welcome. I walk over to him nonetheless, greeting him with another quick smile.
Together, we walk down and onto the beach. The first thing that I notice is Bella and Jacob walking together, literally side to side. He's got his arm over her shoulders and she's tucked herself into his side. I look away, finding it almost physically painful to watch.
I unhook the carabiners from my belt loops and my bag's strap, stuffing them under the bag's flappy lid.
"I know you met the Clearwaters last night, but come on, we'll introduce you without the blood and gore." Charlie tells me, nudging my shoulder lightly with his own before pointing to where Leah and Seth are standing with the parents and Billy, chatting away happily.
The second we come into view Harry and Billy light up, hooting like teenages and pulling a can of beer out of a cooler. "Come on, chief, it's Friday night!" Harry exclaims, smiling an adorable old man kind of smile that makes you want to cry.
Charlie smiles as we approach, taking the can from Harry and popping the top. "Now, I know you saw her yesterday, but anyhow, this is River." He says, stepping aside to reveal me. I smile and wave. "You know, minus the blood." He adds, taking a long pull from his can as we all laugh.
"I didn't see you getting out of the truck." Billy says, smiling politely.
"Uh, no, I followed on my bike." I tell him, scratching my neck a little like I do when I'm nervous. "Only three seats in the truck."
"You got back on that death trap?" Sue exclaims, looking like she might faint.
I cringe a little, but Charlie comes to my rescue. "She said that she had to make sure the oil was running through the pipes right since she and Jacob pulled the damn thing to pieces to check it was safe."
"Well, we're just glad that you seem to be doing alright." Harry says, cutting off whatever response Sue had brewing. Smiling, I nod to show my thanks.
For two hours I manage to avoid Bella and Jacob, but I don't manage to keep my mind off either of them. All the while I'm constantly thinking that I need to tell Jacob that he can't try to kiss me again, and that it would probably be best if I stayed away from him after fixing the two bikes up. In the end, I settle for telling Charlie that I'm going to take a walk to clear my head. He asks if I want him to get anyone to come with me, but I tell him that I'd just rather be alone. He understands but isn't happy as he lets me wander off.
No one follows me as I walk quickly along the length of the beach, thankful as the sand gives way to dirt, which soon becomes bark and leaves as the sandy beach fades into the woodland floor. It never ceases to amaze me just how the different places all link together in Forks, whether it be a beach and a forest, or a swamp and a meadow.
My feet drag me deep into the safety of the trees, far from humanity's evil stench.
With no time wasted, I find a tree that I deem suitable enough to hang about in and untie my leather and silver bracelet -not even remembering putting it back on as I slip it into my pocket before allowing the power to run through my veins, igniting a primal urge to release something from deep within. I use the sudden strength that I have to climb the chosen tree, smiling as I reach the height that all of the branches seem to meet at. It's like an entire new world up here with branches as thick as my hips, all close enough together that I could probably walk literally for miles and miles through the treetops.
That's not why I came here though. Everything underfoot is wet, so I know there's no chance of a forest fire or even of a small contained fire in these woods as I pull my lighter from my bag along with a cigarette. It might be a disgusting, expensive habit, but it's also a calming one. The thing is, I don't smoke for any reason other than enjoying the fact that I'm in control. I can control how much damage I allow them to do to me as I can simply put them out at any time, or simply not light one.
"You're becoming increasingly easy to find." Says a voice from beisde me.
She aslways finds me when I'm alone, so I don't jump. "Tori." I say in acknowledgement as I light it up. She sits next to me on the branch, her friend, Aaron, sitting on my other side. They both flinch a little as the lighter sparks, spitting a little before lighting the end of my cigarette.
"How're you feeling?" Aaron asks me, his dark skin almost blending with the bark on the trees.
I know he doesn't really care, but I answer anyway. "Fine. A little tired. Yourself?"
He smiles at my manners. "Perfectly well, thank you." He replies.
"What happened last night?" Tori asks me, cutting the bullshit. I relay the story of me getting hit then practically flying into another car.
Her porcelin white skin glistens in the moon light as her red curls frame her face, red eyes gleaming at me. It's hard to beleive that these two are killers when they're the only ones to have been looking out for me since my incident when I was fourteen. She pulls an envelope from her pocket and places it in my hands. "Lay it beside yourself tonight before the change." She tells me, and she and Aaron are gone, whizzing through the woods at an incredible rate.
I stuff the envelope in my bag, not so much as glancing at it again. They only use me because my scent masks their own, I know that, but as long as they carry on paying me I'll carry on doing their work.
The second my cigarette is out, I crush the burning tip between my fingers and stuff it into the small metal tin that I carry around. I leap from the treetops, literally leap, and land perfectly on my feet with a thud before making my way back towards the beech, lighting a final cigarette as I go. I manage half a mile before I notice someone walking towards me. A tall, shitless guy with bulging muscles and a ruggedly handsome look of rough about him.
He reaches me and smiles. I'm sure it's a winning smile, but I merely blow him off. I recognise him as one of the guys yesterday who picked my bike up for me. "Those things'll kill you." He tells me as I reach him. He turns and falls into stride beside me.
"So will hypothermia." I reply as I look him up and own, breathing the nicotine in.
A smile tugs at his lips, and he allows it to take over his face. "Touche." He says, plucking the cigarette from my lips and placing it between his own before I can protest. "I'm Paul." He tells me after exhaling and passing the small paper covered stick back to me.
"River." I reply, taking another drag as we walk. "Nice ink." I add, motioning to the tribal tattoo on his shoudler.
Looking down at it, he smiles proudly. "Thanks." He replies. "Let me guess, daddy's girl, waiting for the right time to rebel and get a flower inked into your foot?"
I laugh out loud. "You couldn't be more wrong, Paul." I tell him. "First off, Daddy's dead, has been for nine years. Also, I don't have anyone to rebel against that would consider it rebelling. And, I'll have you know that I have three tattoos, thank you very much."
"Three?" He questions, raising a brow. Nodding, I pull the hem of my shirt up to reveal the small, skelital bird on my left hip. "Are the other two in some place naughty?" He asks, moving his brows in mock seduction.
I shake my head, smiling. "Nah, they're just a little boring." I tell him, thinking of the quote I have on my back, and the other one which I just don't show people of a handprint, only it's got the claws of a beast. You can hardly see it most of the time since it's actually a little darker than my skin, but only a little. It lies on my back, just over my right shoulder blade -thankfully it's nowhere near as tacky as it sounds. The quote is on my left shoulderblade, perfectly placed to sit next to three long, thins scars that run from just left of the base of my skull on my neck, down to my spine between my two shoulderblades.
'Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win.' is the quote I've got, and it's a Stephen King quote, but I think it basically sums humanity right on up.
The words take up no more than two by five inches on my shoulder as I had them written in a small script, and the ink's pitch black so they stand out.
The 'zombie' bird on my hip as the tattooist called it, apparently symbolises that there is life after death, but that's not what it is to me. To me it means that even in death we don't find peace, and that a true death is hard to come by, as proven by the thick scar on my wrist and the other on my neck.
"I've only got the one." Paul tells me, pulling me from my thoughts.
Neither of us talk as we walk back to the beach, sharing my cigarette -which now I think about it is kind of weird- as we go. Right before we come into view of everyone else, I take a pack of mints from my bag, popping one in my mouth and offering one to Paul. He accepts it and walks with me over to where Seth and Leah are. He splits off just before we reach them, walking over to where Sam stands with a stunning woman who has three jagged lines along the left side of her face.
"What were you doing with Paul Lahote?" Someone asks as I sit beside Seth, waving at him and his sister in greeting. I look up to see Jacob and Bella watching Sam and Paul intently with Sam's girlfriend.
Why does Jacob care, he's got Bella. "I was thanking him for helping me yesterday." I lie, and honestly, I don't know why I lie, because my tone makes it sound like I was more than thanking him. "Why, is there something wrong with him?" I question, wondering why Jacob thinks he can control who I talk to.
"There's something wrong with Sam's entire group of morons." Jacob practically snarls in reply, giving them the stink eye.
I snort. "Well, I'd have agreed with you if he'd left me on the road, or if he'd left my bike to be crushed, but he didn't." I say, shrugging.
"Whatever, just stay away from them." He tells me, never making eye contact.
"Seriously?" I scoff. "Yeah, sure." I add, my tone dripping with sarcasm.
"I'm serious, there's something wrong with them."
"Why, because they're ripped and have tattoos?"
No one says anything, but I don't feel like I've won.
Slowly but surely, everyone gathers round the bonfire, waitng for Billy as he settles his chair and begins to talk. I listen intently as he tells stories about the tribe's ancestors, and of spirit wolves, much like the stories Jackson, a friend of mine, once told me, only Billy's are nowhere near as violent.
Once all of the stories of Taha Aki and others have been told, I excuse myself for another walk in the woods, and this time I see Paul walking about fifteen feet behind me, but definitely following me. No one can see my front, so I reach into my bag and pull out a cigarette and my lighter, placing the stick between my lips and letting it dangle until I walk into the confines of the woods.
"So, are you that guy that bums off everyone?" I question, turning to face Paul as I walk backwards.
He grins, a big wolfish grin and shakes his head, no. A second later he reaches into his cargo shorts and pulls out a cigarette. "Nah, but could use a light." He replies, nodding to my lighter.
I light my own and hold the small flame out between us. He steps forwards, leaning down with the cigarette between his lips as the flame catches, releasing coils of thick smoke. "What do you think?" He asks me, blowing a thin stream of smoke up to his left. "About the legends, I mean." He adds when I raise a brow.
Shrugging, I reply, "I've heard different ones from around where I live. But, what I couldn't grasp in your stories is what they actually are. I mean, I understand the myths behind lycanthropy, but the way Billy described these beasts made it sound like they weren't werewolves, but that they were something more. I mean, I know none of it's real because vampires and werewolves are kids bedtime tails, but if we're giving it all the benefit of the doubt here, then I want to know what the wolves are."
Paul grins, raising a brow. "So you're a freak on what, tribal legends?"
"Greek and Roman." I correct. "I was obsessed with Percy Jackson kind of books as kid that created these comforting adventures from mythology and took out every book in the library on myths and legends." He opens his mouth to say something, but I hold a hand up as my cell buzzes and apologise as I answer it.
"River, where are you? We're heading back." Bella says, sounding a little worried.
"I know my way back, you guys go." I reply. "Don't worry, Bella." I tell her as she starts to protest. I put the phone down with a huff as she begins to tell me how they're worrying.
"Werewolves." Paul says, grinning.
Huh? "What?" I ask, confused.
"In myths and stuff, werewolves were made to fight vampires and protect the people, so the spirit warriors were sent to protect people from the cold ones."
"You know, in some myths the vampires were sent to protect the people from the ravenous werewolves but were drawn to the blood of the ones they protected. It's a poetic tragedy." I reply, inhaling deeply. I glance up at the sky through a patch of open area in the treetops, and all I see is the moon, so full it's almost blinding to look at. "I should be going, I guess I'll see you around." I say, smiling politely.
"Wait, can I get your number?" Paul asks, grabbing my wrist as I pass him. When I look at him, he genuinely looks like he wants my number.
I sigh. "Why is it that when I come here all the cute guys seem to be really sweet and actually want to talk to me, yet at home they're all assholes?"
Paul shrugs with a grin, releasing my wrist. "Where do you come from?"
"San Francisco."
"Neat, I've always wanted to go there!"
"It's nowhere near as cool as the TV makes it out to be." I tell him, suddenly feeling bad when his face drops a little. "Well, some of it's a bit shitty, but if you ever find yourself up there then I could show you where they shoot some cool movies." I offer, trying to make it better.
He looks down at me. "I don't think I'm ever leaving here." He tells me sadly.
"What, not even for a weekend?"
He doesn't reply. I really need to go, but something's bugging me. "Why does Jacob hate you guys so much?" I ask, because they all seem like nice guys.
"We've been keeping an eye on him. He keeps getting really angry all the time, so we're just making sure that he doesn't blow up at someone, but he seems to think that we're trying to pull him into a life of crime." Paul replies with a shrug.
I pull a pen out and ask for his hand. He holds out his left hand, palm up, so I hold it in my right hand and scrawl my number with my left. "You best not leave me waiting for a call, Lahote." I say, smirking as I walk away.
He grins. "I'd never keep a pretty girl waiting." He replies, blowing smoke through his boyish grin as I walk off.
Turning away from him, I concentrate on not falling over as I walk. By the time I make it to my bike, the parking lot's empty, aside from a tall black man with dreds and a slender woman with fiery red hair and porcelain skin. Tori and Aaron. I know they're not their real names, but they're the names they gave me.
Tori's sat on my bike and Aaron's leaning against the front. Great, it'll stink like them for days now. "Hey," I say as I near them.
They look up, both of them smiling at me lightly. "I don't think you'll make it home before the moon pulls you in." Tori tells me, her smile dropping. "All because you wanted to flirt with a mutt."
A mutt? Whatever.
"I'll make it." I tell them. "I have to, otherwise my uncle'll send a freakin' search party out."
Sighing, Tori gets off my bike and walks over to me. "I don't know why you try so hard. You could achieve so much, and yet you rein it in."
She and Aaron are gone within a second. Why do they never give me time to reply? It's just rude. I snarl and swing my leg over my bike, unlocking the chains and shoving them in my bag for now. I strap my bag back to my belt loops before pulling my helmet on and wheeling backwards.
The roads are quiet at this time of night, so I shoot back as quickly as I can, off-roading over central reservations when I'm certain no one's watching.
No one's up when I get in, so I go straight to my room, passing where Jacob's sleeping on the couch. I strip and change into my sports bra and shorts, taking all of my bracelets off and pulling the tie out of my hair. I grab the bottle beside my bed and tap out two of the sleeping pills.
I take them quickly, counting backwards from one hundred out loud.
"Fifty three, fifty two, fifty four, fifty three, wait, no, fifty one and half, fifty two and-" Darkness.
Pain.
Bones.
Breaking.
Blood.
Screams.
Ripping.
Wolves.
Stench.
Death.
When I wake I'm naked, my sports bra and shorts lying beside me with an envelope.
I pull the two articles of clothing on quickly, seeing the dried blood on my hands right away. Fuck. I make my way unseen into the downstairs toilet, washing my hands in the small sink, checking the rest of my body for blood but coming up trumps. "Thought you were meeting a friend today." Comes a deep voice as I exit the bathroom.
Jacob. Shit, I told him I was meeting Tori today. I shrug. "I saw her last night so she cancelled." I tell him, praying that he doesn't ask any questions.
He nods. "Well, Bells's off with some friends and Charlie's gone hunting or fishing with my dad and Harry." He tells me.
Is that supposed to mean something to me? "Cool." I say, making my way back into my room.
Jacob follows me. "Why did you hang around with Paul again after I-"
"After what, after you warned me to stay away from a guy but didn't give me a reason why? Listen, Jacob, you're a good guy, and usually I'd trust your judgement, but he's nice too. He wasn't a dick, he was sweet." And shit, he said he'd call me.
"Did you make out with him too?" He snarls, stepping into my room.
I face him, pissed. How fucking dare he. "No, the most contact we made was me writing my number on his palm. Oh, and I'll fix your bikes, but after that I think we should keep our distance." I snap in reply.
"Why, so you can be like ever other girl around here and fuck Paul-"
"You think I'd have kissed you if I wanted to fuck Paul? Yeah, he's hot, and he's got that bad boy thing going for him, and yeah, he's cute and buff, but I don't make a habit of going places and fucking the locals."
"Yeah, well-"
"You can't lecture me on anything when you kiss me and you're still in love with my cousin! I will not be some asshole's summer fling!" I yell, losing it. "You two are fucking made for each other, so let me do the right thing, let me step aside." A fat tear rolls down my cheek. I will not cry in front of him.
I turn away from him and grab a pair of socks and a hair tie. I scrape my hair back with my fingers and pull the socks on, shoving him aside so I can get to my shoes. "I don't love her." Jacob says weakly. I don't reply. "I don't want you to be a summer fling, I want you to stay. I want you to suddenly announce one day that your brother has taken your mom and step dad in, I want you to tell me that you're staying. I want you to give us a chance."
"There is no 'us', Jacob. I'm not a car, I can't be fixed. I'm broken, and I'm meant to stay that way because my mom needs me. You know why she needs me? Because she knows that I'm the one she needs to steal off to get her drug money." I tell him, turning with tears running down my cheeks. "I dropped out of school when I was twelve years old for that woman, and do you know what I did? I fixed my dad's old bike up because we needed the money, not because I enjoyed it. I raced for my life in rallies because I was too young to be hired in any damn job. I'm the only person keeping her alive, so there's no chance that I could ever stay here, hell, she's probably already blown all the money I left her for the whole three months."
He tries to reach out to me, he tries to take my hands, but I move and yank my sneakers on before literally sprinting out of the front door.
My feet pound the road as I run across it and straight into the woods. I feel like I might vomit after telling Jacob all of that. I run faster than I ever have before, leaping fallen trees and skidding in the dirt. My breathing picks up, and I know what it means, I know that without my silver I'm helpless, but I don't slow down. I can't slow down.
I'm not sure when the changes takes over, but I don't stop it. Power courses through me, anger, rage and an unforgiving pain ripple through my veins, reminding me of the real reason that I must leave Forks. Reminding me of just how deadly I am. Reminding me of my curse.
Okay, I don't actually have a word count on my laptop, so I don't know how many words are in this chapter, but I do know that it's almost certainly below five thousand. I'm sorry, but I thought this was a really nice place to end this one, so actually I'm not sorry. I am hungry though. I'm always hungry, so that's nothing new.
Anyhow... review and if anyone has any suggestions for anything then please do share and I can re-write bits to try to incorporate what you guys want when I read over the rest of the chapters!