Wow. Here's a long one. Hope it tickles your fancy!

Chapter 23 – Be my girl?

Of course, Kate couldn't just sit there and stare. For one thing, she didn't get paid to do so, and, unlike Castle, she didn't have bottomless budget. For another, she'd have been bored out of her mind despite Castle's Angry Birds offer. So she sat, taking notes to type up later. As she did, she contemplated Castle and their unconventional partnership—not just how he could be so thrilled to do paperwork, but how far they'd come.

In the beginning, she'd been simultaneously flattered (not that she'd let on) and outwardly hell fired up over having a shadow—an annoying and annoyingly right shadow at that. He'd shattered every notion she'd had about her favorite author. She'd imagined him as insightful, pensive, bookish and, somehow, more demure than his fan sites portrayed. How could he write what he wrote and not be?

But upon meeting him, Kate had been embarrassed to realize she'd created a fantasy about the man she'd never met. And it was horribly off-base. He may have been some of what she originally thought. He was definitely insightful. Irritatingly so. She was good at her job and she didn't appreciate being discredited or shown up by the playboy author. It was almost worse than his impossibly ridiculous CIA and alien theories that distracted her team and didn't give due reverence to their victims.

That he oozed sex appeal was another given. She hadn't believed she could be so susceptible to it, but she'd been tempted. Her saving grace had been realizing he was just as cocky, arrogant and playboyish as he was described is the gossip rags. To make matters worse, all the things she disliked about him seemed exacerbated in her presence. Attraction, be damned! She wouldn't be Castle's conquest.

Having Castle back, having his friendship had helped her move past the hurt from last summer. It had been painful to watch Castle walk away with Gina, but that she was willing to break up with Demming was evidence that they weren't meant to be. And that Castle turned to Gina so quickly was evidence that she and Castle weren't meant to be. Maybe she'd been too late, but a little bit of hurt was better than a lot of hurt.

Kate now felt that they'd come full circle. Somehow, he'd become the person she trusted more than anyone. They had an easy banter. And she recognized the flirting for what it was: sometimes a distraction, sometimes a form of flattery—but he was no longer blatantly trying to get her in bed.

As she'd learned more about Castle, watched him with Alexis, and come to trust his promise of "Always," Kate saw in him the man she'd imagined him to be when she knew him only through his writings. Of course, this was occasionally tarnished by Castle's ego and the company he kept, but less so than when they'd first met. She even felt bad for him sometimes.

Kate stood and headed for the break room. Castle keyed in his last few lines, and went to say bye to the boys.

"'Kay, Guys! I'm outta here. Have a good weekend!"

Esposito turned around. "Whoa, Castle. Leavin' already? What's the matter? Can't handle a full day of real work?"

"You do realize I do my real job in my spare time, right?"

"Well, don't let us hold you back." Ryan quipped.

"Yeah," Esposito mused, "I wonder how many books you could get done if you weren't following around a certain someone."

"Research."

"Oh, is that all it is?" Esposito raised his eyes and looked from Castle to Ryan.

"Or could it be—"

"You're detectives. Half your job is research. How come when you do it, it's work and when I do it it's play time?"

"Touché."

From in the break room where Kate could overhear their conversation, she thought Point Castle.

"Seriously, though. Madden? My place?" Ryan asked.

"Can't. Picking Meredith up at the airport."

"Deep Fried Twinkie?"

Whether it was disgust because she didn't want to think about Castle being such a tramp or something else entirely, something in Kate's gut coiled. But Lanie walked in the opposite door, so she tamped it down. She smiled at Lanie and then nodded out to the bullpen, letting her friend know she was listening in. Lanie grinned conspiratorially.

"Not in a long time. Seems I've lost my appetite."

Lanie watched as Kate's clenched jaw softened to a half smile behind her coffee cup.

"Mother's Day Weekend. She's here visiting Alexis. I'll be in the Hamptons all weekend." Kate had been in the break room a while, and the door was open. "Alone," he stressed, knowing she could more than likely hear them.

"Too bad for you," Esposito said. "Me? I'll be spending the night with a totally smokin', Chica. Been seein' her a while, but I'm thinkin' I' gonna step it up tonight. Do something special."

Kate turned to her friend to levy her with an "I told you so" look, but Lanie looked absolutely crestfallen, even a little sick.

Hey, Chica, whatchya doin' tonight? He'd asked her earlier, standing behind her, arms around her waist. Nothing, Baby, I'll just be home. Alone. He'd given her a little squeeze and then broke away before Perlmutter and Concejal came in.

"Alone."

"Lanie?" Kate put her hand on Lanie's arm.

"Now I know where I stand."

Kate wanted to hug her, but she knew her friend was too close to the verge and, like herself, wouldn't want anyone to see. Kate could hear Castle approaching. She knew his gait, the sound of his footsteps. She squeezed Lanie's arm once more, and urged her toward the door she'd come in.

"I'll bring dinner," she said before Lanie was completely out the door. Lanie nodded in agreement, but didn't look back.

Castle heard Kate and looked up to see Lanie retreating. It didn't take him long to catch up. But he knocked on the door jam, not sure whether Kate realized he was there.

"She okay?" he asked.

Kate just kept looking forward and shook her head no.

"Kate?" he said, getting her attention. "I have my phone, if you want to talk."

"'Kay, Castle. I'll see you Monday. Have a good weekend."

Castle looked like he wanted to say something more, but instead, said bye and headed for the elevator, where he immediately set to work on a pick-me-up surprise for Lanie. He wasn't above schmoozing the best friend—besides, he cared about Lanie, too.

Kate knocked on Lanie's door not too long after work. She'd run home to change, called Josh to tell him her plans—and that she wouldn't be able to meet with him before he left for the weekend. Then, she called Lanie to see what she wanted her to bring. She grabbed Chinese, a bottle of wine and Twizzlers and a bag of Peanut M&Ms.

"Come in. It's open." Lanie called from inside.

Kate opened the door and walked through. "Really, Lanie. You work with detectives and see dead bodies every day. Stop doing that!"

"I knew it would be you."

"You did not! It could have been a psycho standing outside your door!"

"Who says it wasn't?" Lanie teased from in the kitchen. She sounded more upbeat than Kate anticipated. Kate walked through the swinging door into the kitchen to find Lanie standing at the sink trimming flowers, working on arranging them in a vase.

"Secret admirer, Lanie?"

"No. These are from your boy."

"Castle sent you flowers?" Lanie noted she didn't deny Castle was her boy.

"Beautiful flowers at that." She said handing the card that came with them to Kate. I know how you feel. Stay strong. –R.C.

Kate looked up to Lanie, questioning what that meant. Figures Castle would find a way to cheer her up a bit.

"What exactly did you say to him anyway?"

"What? Nothing! He saw you walking out of the break room. I didn't say anything to him."

Lanie wondered for a moment if this was the truth. She wouldn't have if it was anyone other than Castle, but ultimately, she decided Kate was offended enough that she must be telling the truth.

"So, does everyone know about Esposito and me?"

"Lanie, you know I don't keep up with the precinct gossip. I only knew about you two because we all work so closely together and you're my best friend. And you would have told me if I hadn't figured it out."

"Maybe."

"What?"

"I don't know, Kate. You're his boss. Might have been weird. Thought about not telling you. Kinda wish you didn't know now. Wish no one knew." Lanie brought her arms around herself. "Do you think the whole precinct knows I've been dropped in favor of whoever this chick is?"

"Lanie, I don't know who knows, but you have nothing to be ashamed of. And Castle's right. You're strong. If people know—and I'm not saying that they do, they might talk behind your back, but they're not going to be so crude as to say anything to you. Just keep your head up. And ignore everyone else. That's how I got through last summer."

"But you didn't have to come in and see Castle every day."

"No. I didn't." That was true. The hardest part wasn't knowing he was gone, but that he was with Gina. She'd never admitted how much it hurt to Lanie. "But I still had to deal with the fact that I'd pushed him into the arms of another woman. It killed to watch him walk away with Gina." Kate's voice quiet, was raw with emotion. Not what she wanted to be talking about, but feeling Lanie needed to know she was prepared for a real hreart-to-heart.

"Wouldn't this have been easier to talk about then?"

"Look at me, Lanie. I can barely talk about it now. We weren't together, but it still felt like a very public, very humiliating breakup. I had reporters calling me." Kate hated admitting this, even to Lanie. "They sent me a package."

"What do you mean, 'They sent you a package'?"

"A package. An exclusive listing in Castle's Black Book. Complete with a credit-card sized membership card with a unique ID to log on to the private site and share my story."

"What?"

"I'm serious, Lanie. A couple months ago."

"They, whoever 'they' are, have their own logo, letterhead—everything. They were particularly interested in having me register and share my story because of Nikki Heat. They have Castle's side of the story, and they want mine."

Kate sneered, "I didn't even have the pleasure of sleeping with him—told him specifically after our first case, the Tisdale case, that I wouldn't be his conquest—and yet everybody thinks I've had sex with him."

"Maybe you should."

"What? Lanie! I have a boyfriend! I don't want people thinking I'm sleeping with Castle."

"Is that why you keep Josh around? So people won't think you're sleeping with Castle? Or is it so you're not tempted?"

"Lanie? Are we back to that? Josh says he loves me."

"Castle shows you."

"Lanie," Kate's warning tone was coming on stronger now, "we are friends. Neither of us is willing to jeopardize that. Not me. Not Castle."

"Whatever lets you sleep at night."

"Lanie Parrish that was low. When you're ready to be nice—and talk about something else, I'll be in the living room."

"Kate—" Lanie called, but she was already out the door.

Lanie took a minute to compose herself. She was angry and hurt and it wasn't fair to take it out on Kate. She dished up dinner and grabbed the wine and glasses before following Kate out the door.

"Girl, I'm sorry. That was cold. I'm a bitch." Kate just held out an arm, inviting Lanie to join her on the couch for a hug. Lanie leaned on Kate's shoulder, with Kate's arm around hers. "Forgive me?"

Lanie felt Kate nod and squeeze her arm across her shoulders. They sat like that for a while, until Kate felt her shoulder go moist. Lost in her own thoughts, she hadn't realized Lanie was crying.

Kate wasn't as prepared for tears like Castle had been, so she got up quickly to get a box of tissue. When she returned, she poured the wine and handed Lanie a glass.

"It's going to be hard, watching him be with someone else. Just knowing he's with someone else. I don't know how Castle does it."

"I thought we were going to talk about you and Esposito?"

"I think it's pretty obvious there is no Esposito and me."

"I thought you loved him?"

"I do." Lanie's face scrunched in pain. "But he's a big boy. He can decide for himself what he wants."

"So, let me get this straight. You trust Javier Esposito to decide what's best for him, but not me?"

"It's different. I don't know what Javi feels for this other woman, or vice versa. I haven't been privy to it."

"You haven't told him how you feel, have you?"

Lanie shook her head 'no.'

"But don't want to fight for him?"

"I couldn't handle being rejected again."

"Lanie—"

"And I won't stand in the way of his happiness—even if it hurts."

Kate nodded her understanding, and rubbed Lanie's shoulders.

They kept talking, about anything and everything. Sometimes coming back to relationship stuff, but they kept it lighter. Kate was struck by Lanie's strength. She'd never seen her so upset over a man, but yet so composed, so purposeful in her resolve to see him happy. Kate admired Lanie's strength and honesty, and hoped it would rub off on her. Still, she knew another kind of strength—the kind that held on to some semblance of always to keep the rash of pain at bay.

Half-eaten meals finished, Kate and Lanie were laughing at something on TV when they heard someone rapping on her door.

"What? Not just gonna yell 'it's open?'" Kate asked.

"I'm not expecting anyone."

"Want me to get it?"

"Nah, Girl. I got it."

Lanie pulled open the door, immediately crossing her arms and propped her hip against the doorframe, creating a barrier to entry. She looked him over. He was standing there, arms behind his back, in a too tight varsity coat. It was red, with white patches, pins and medals all over the place.

"Javier Esposito. What are you doing here?"

Ooh. She was mad. Javier wondered what was wrong? Is she mad at me?

"I, uh…I…"

"Spit it out, Detective Esposito. I haven't got all night, and I'm sure you have better places to be."

Esposito looked past her, seeing plates on the coffee table, and the TV flashing.

"Do you have company? You said you'd be home alone."

"What do you care, Javier? Why are you here? I thought you had a date?"

Esposito put his head down, but quickly decided he wasn't walking away without saying what he'd come to say.

"Lanie, I have spent the last few months dating every woman imaginable—"

"What makes you think I want to hear all the details about your dating life?"

"As I said, I've been dating. Like you wanted. Every woman—and all I'm looking for is some spec of you. She's not sassy enough. She doesn't have that spark, that bite or your big brown eyes. And I can't even dance with another woman 'cause I don't want to touch her and have it not be you moving under me. You didn't want to get serious, but I can't do it anymore, Lanie."

Lanie was a little slow to catch up. Can't do it anymore? It hurt more to hear him say it.

Esposito pulled his hands from behind his back. In his left, he held a single red rose. In his right, his high school ring—a large sapphire flanked by symbols for baseball and wrestling.

"I'm sick of dating, Lanie. I want to go steady. Will you be my girl?"

Lanie finally caught up and started nodding furiously. She launched herself at Javier, tears running down her cheeks. Javier grasped her around the waist and lifted her, spinning them further into her apartment.

When Kate first heard Lanie say "Javier," she had walked into the kitchen wanting to give them as much privacy as possible. Now, she came out, wanting to leave, but not wanting to interrupt the couple—who couldn't seem to decide whether they wanted to kiss or hug. It wasn't until Javier caught sight of Kate that his hands stilled. He spun Lanie so that she wouldn't see the moisture in his eyes.

Lanie saw Kate over Javier's shoulder, and whispered something to Esposito. They both turned to face Kate, and smiled.

"If you could, uh, not mention that I'm a total sap when it comes to Lanie, I'd appreciate it."

Kate walked up to them and pulled them both into a hug, making Esposito freeze.

When she stepped back, she said, "Lanie deserves a total sap—and you fit right in with Honey Milk. But don't hurt my girl, Esposito, or I will make your life a living hell."

Lanie smirked. They both knew Kate would never be anything less than professional, no matter what happened, but she appreciated the threat.

Kate opened the door, after she stepped out, she tucked her head back in.

"By the way…nice coat." She flashed her eyebrows at the pair and walked away smiling.

Esposito realized he was going to be teased mercilessly.

Reviews? Maybe a little love for giving you Esplanie?

Even though Castkett is still a bit angsty?