Surprise update! I'm very happy to announce that I'm participating in Camp NaNoWriMo (if you haven't heard of it, look it up!), so I will be writing a lot this coming time. I'm going to work on this fic, as my writing project, so hopefully, you'll be able to enjoy a lot of updates during the month of July! Please, do keep in mind that I am out traveling, so if I don't update, that's the reason.

This is a somewhat short chapter, but I promise there are some long ones in store. I hope you like it! See you at the bottom.

Chapter 14:

Over the next few weeks, I tried to be sort of civil towards Elena. Be on my best behavior, so to speak. Once Christmas was over, it wasn't long before she needed to start school again, and we needed to trust her to go, without spilling our secret to anyone.

I also knew that once she got back, she would hear that Matt's mom left and even though I resented the feeling, I still felt sort of guilty for killing her. I had been drinking most of the guilt away, but there were still some left and it was definitely a shitty feeling.

Once again, it felt like time was flying by way too quickly, and suddenly, there was only a week left until school started again. I was once again standing outside of Elena's room, because we needed to discuss the terms of her going back to school. Hopefully this wouldn't go as catastrophic as the last time – I didn't wanna accidentally kill anyone else. As soon as that thought crossed my mind, I felt like kicking my own ass – since when did I care about killing people.

The answer was easy – since Elena.

Sighing, I knocked on her door, but didn't wait for an answer, before I walked in. As usual, she was sitting by the window, with her diary in her lap. I never saw her without it. She closed it as soon as she could, and looked up at me with flushed cheeks. I cocked my head a bit, smirking at her. What had she been writing, that made her flush like that?

"This' a bad time?" I asked, crossing my arms across my chest. That only made her blush even more, as she held the journal even closer.

"No, it's not," she said, hiding it under a pillow next to her, "what's up?"

"You're going back to school next week and we need to know we can trust you," I said, sitting down on her bed. It was weird to think I was sitting where she slept every night – I briefy wondered what she wore when she slept, before I reminded myself that she was 16 and just lost her entire family.

"You're letting me go back to school?" she asked, looking at me as if that was the biggest surprise ever. I frowned at her.

"Contrary to popular belief, I don't want you to be an idiot," I said, "but you need to understand that you can't tell anyone about us."

"Well, of course not. I've gathered as much so far. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not an idiot," she shot back, putting her journal away in her dresser. I raised an eyebrow at her – the fire in her seemed to be coming back. I hadn't seen much of that, since we'd been in the basement, but there it was.

"Good. Because there will be consequences if anyone finds out," I said, standing up again, "I'll bring your phone and laptop up here later. I'll code in my contact too."

I then left her room, feeling relieved it went so well. It was, of course, a short conversation and since she apparently knew that telling anyone about us would be a bad idea, there was no problem at all. Right?

Only a week later, I was bitterly regretting those words. Caroline had brought Elena to school, since I really couldn't be bothered to get up that early to drive her and she revealed that she actually hadn't gotten her license yet.

What the fuck kind of a 16-year-old doesn't have a driver's license? Or at least a permit? I was getting more and more frustrated with this whole singer-bond-crap. Wasn't the bond supposed to be with someone who would supposedly be my "soul mate"? Then why the fuck did they give me an innocent girl, who don't even know how to drive, at the age of 16? Maybe it was all just bullshit and she would grow apart from me. Maybe my heart would just stop beating some day soon, but she would still be alive.

Fate could decide on something else, right?

But just as every other time I had packed my bags into my car and decided to leave, my heart sped up and I felt a strong pull towards Elena. And before I even got to close the fucking trunk of my car, I was speeding to her school, fangs bared, to see what was wrong.

When I got there, I felt like a fucking loser. She was talking to Matt. That was the reason her heart sped up – but as I tried to analyze the way her heart was beating, I realize it wasn't because she was happy to see him. I couldn't pin down the emotion, but it wasn't a good one.

"You haven't even tried to contact me. I was worried sick about you," the Donovan kid said and the urge to snap his neck grew stronger. What the hell did he think he was doing? She just lost her entire family and all he worried about, was that she hadn't contacted him.

Fucking idiot.

"It wasn't that simple, Matt, it's been a really rough time for me," she said, holding onto her left arm. Why didn't she tell him off? Where was that fire she had when we talked? She should have slapped him into next week and told him to be a little bit more considerate or leave her the fuck alone. But all she did, was answer quietly and move her feet around nervously.

"I know, and I wanted to be there for you. But the Sheriff wouldn't tell me where you are living now and you wouldn't answer any of my calls. I didn't even know if I had a girlfriend anymore!" he said, trying to catch her eyes. He couldn't, though, because Elena's eyes were firmly on the tips of her shoes.

"My life has changed so much in the past two months. I've changed," she whispered, letting her hair fall down in front of her face.

I felt like I was burning up on the inside. She was clearly sad and I couldn't be there to hold her and protect her. I wanted to rip his head off so bad or at least compel him to leave her the fuck alone, but I knew she had to do this on her own.

But fuck, my body did not agree with my choice. I felt like a monster was clawing it's way through my chest, trying to get to her, to protect her, to comfort her, but I couldn't.

First of all, I couldn't let her see that I was here. She'd just think I was stalking her and I didn't need our relationship to get even worse.

Second of all, it would raise a lot of questions from the Quarterback, that I simply didn't feel like answering.

So despite the aching in my chest, I stayed where I was, looking from the side.

"Let's hang out tonight. You can tell me all about how you feel and how it's been since the accident and I can be there for you," he said, grabbing her hands. I almost jumped out of the bush to push her away, but stayed put, with great difficulty.

"No, Matt. I don't feel like it. I think we should take a break. I need to find out who I am now and I can't do that with you. It wouldn't be fair to you," she said, pulling her hands out of his. He looked at her, the hurt splayed across his face – I'm not gonna lie, I took a lot of pleasure in seeing him hurt like that. That's what he gets for messing with my singer.

Fuck, did I just think about Elena, as mine? Shit, I really did need to get away.

Elena's POV:

Being back to school sucked, to say the least. While I was happy to finally be surrounded by normal people, and not vampires who made me feel confused about my own feelings, everyone at school knew about the accident, and the fake comfort was almost too much to bear.

People I had never talked to before came up to me and told me how sorry they were and that if I needed anything, I should let them know.

My first class made me want to go home instantly – the teacher gave me a hug and a group of the girls had bought a huge bouquet of flowers that they wanted me to have.

Needless to say they'd been ignoring me for the past two years of school, but now that my family was dead, I was suddenly interesting.

At lunch, I was done. I took one step into the cafeteria before all talk stopped and everyone was looking at me, and that was enough. I turned around, walked away and after walking for almost half an hour, I ended up at the cemetery. Not strange at all.

Caroline and I had been here a handful of times during the two months I'd been locked away at the boarding house. She had taken care of the tomb stone and when I confided in her, that I didn't know how to cope with burying them, she'd nodded and somehow nobody had asked any questions about why there hadn't been a funeral. One day when we had been sitting out here, looking at the their joined grave, she had told me that we could do a ceremony whenever I felt like it. There was no rush at all.

I don't know how I would have gotten through the past two months without her. She'd been there when Damon was an idiot and she had guided me through everything. Although it was weird to think that she was 98 years old, she was becoming the best friend I'd ever had. She somehow understood me better than anybody else ever had.

My feet walked the way to their grave on their own, and I sat down, my back to the tomb and took out my journal.

Dear diary

Today was hard. It's my first day back at school and you could say that I handled it the worst way possible – instead of managing a smile and telling people that I'll be alright, I kinda freaked out. My 'thank you's were all too fake and sarcastic and I think I might have pissed off the popular girls. Oh well, nothing to do about that. How can I not be like that, though? They have never ever paid attention to me and suddenly, they all bought flowers for me? How dumb do they think I am?

Even Matt was behaving weirdly. We broke up today. He seemed to care more about the fact that I hadn't had the time to message him, than the fact that my entire family just died and I should be in treatment, not living with 3 bloodsuckers.

I still haven't really gotten used to that. It's so easy to forget, when I'm hanging out with Stefan and Caroline, because they both seem so normal. They have normal lives and they seem like normal people...

Unlike Damon.

I don't understand how he can be so different from Caroline and Stefan. He openly drinks blood around me, he does all that supernatural stuff all the time and what's more, he acts like he doesn't give a shit. I don't know why, but it hurts me. It shouldn't, because I shouldn't care about him, but I do. I don't know why, but I do. And it's getting stronger everyday.

I'm still wearing his mother's necklace. I only take it off when I'm showering, but the rest of the time, it's hidden underneath my shirt. I still can't believe I was such an asshole to him, when he gave it to me. He had been mean to me all day and I didn't owe him a thing, but still...

I don't know what to do when I'm around him. He changes me, in a way, and I'm not sure if it's for the better. He keeps reminding me that he's a dangerous predator and he could snap my neck like a twig, and yet, I've never felt any safer, than when I'm around him.

I've never felt so conflicted before and most of all, it hurts that Mom isn't around to help me. I could never tell her about Damon or what he is, but I know she would still have given me advice.

But she's dead. My family is dead.

I'm alone.

I quickly closed my journal, before my tears started to mess up the pages. For the first time since the accident, I was completely alone and as soon as the first tear fell, the rest followed. I was hit by an overwhelming feeling of loneliness and all the new impressions and experiences I'd had since then, all came crashing down on me. Pulling my knees up, I hugged them and let my head fall forwards, so I could hide just a little bit.

Although the cemetery was completely empty, I wanted just a little bit of privacy. My body started shaking, as the tears fell and fell.

Why did this happen to me?

I was startled, as I suddenly wasn't sitting on the ground anymore, but in someone's lap. I looked up and blue, concerned eyes met mine. Damon?

"It's okay... Let it out. I'm here," he said, putting his arms around me.

I shouldn't be comforted by it. I shouldn't lean into his chest and I definitely shouldn't let my tears fall onto his expensive shirt.

But I did.

And even though we sat there for almost half an hour before I stopped crying, he never moved. He sat there, gently rubbing my back, his cheek resting on the top of my head, while I let everything out.

When I didn't feel like there was any more water in my body to cry out, I just sniffled while I sat there, listening to his heart beating against his chest.

"Thank you," I whispered, my voice hoarse and broken.

"Don't worry about it," he answered. I was surprised to hear emotion in his voice, but I decided not to ask about it.

"When my mom died..." I kept quiet and listened even better, "I felt like I was completely alone in the world. I spend a lot of nights crying in my room."

He didn't continue, but I didn't mind. This was the first time I'd ever heard him be somewhat human, and I was baffled by the idea of a Damon with emotions.

We sat there for a little while longer, before I looked up at him. His eyes were closed, but he was still awake. He looked sort of beautiful like that. His dark hair was ruffled and his face was completely relaxed. I'd never seen him like that before – it almost felt like I was intruding on something intimate.

"You ready to go home?" he asked, opening his eyes. I nodded and got up from his lap, putting my journal back in my backpack and then swinging it over one shoulder.

Together, we walked back in silence.

As soon as we stepped into the boarding house, Caroline and Stefan were staring at us. They had been sitting in the sofa right inside the door, when they noticed my red eyes and Damon walking with me.

"What on..."

"No questions, Stef," Damon cut him off. He looked at me again, as if to make sure I was alright, before he sped away – probably into his room.

Caroline had this weird expression that looked like some middle thing between a smile and a gaping mouth. It almost made me laugh, because it looked so funny.

"I'll be back later," she said and got up from the couch. She gave him a quick kiss, before she came over to me and walked to my bedroom with me.

"Why were you and Damon walking together?" she asked, as soon as the door closed behind her. I threw my bag on my bed and sat down, thinking about what I should say.

"The first day of school was a little tough, and I kinda freaked... and I was sitting at my family's grave, crying, and suddenly, he was there... he comforted me," I said, looking down at my folded hands.

"He what?" she asked, sitting down right next to me. I blushed slightly.

"He comforted me... and then we walked home together," I whispered. Caroline was smiling next to me.

"I think you're warming up his cold, dead heart."

The next week was better – Damon and I seemed to be getting along pretty well and I stayed in school for longer than until lunch. When I came home on Friday afternoon, Damon was sitting with a pink letter in his hand. I frowned.

"Did you get new stationary? I didn't now pink was in," I said, laughing a bit at him. He raised an eyebrow at me, and put down the letter.

"It's for you."
"DAMON! Don't read my mail! That might be private," I said, heat rising to my face. Who on earth send me a letter on pink paper?

"Dear Miss Gilbert. We are happy to inform you that you have been chosen to compete in this year's Miss Mystic Falls..." he read.
My mouth opened on it's own accord. I had signed up for that almost 8 months ago, because my mom had won it when she was my age, but I had forgotten everything about it. Did I even want to participate, now that my mom wasn't here to do it with me?

"You're a pageant girl?" he asked with a smirk on his lips.

"No... I usually think they're one of the dumbest things in the world," I said, snatching the letter out of his hands. It actually said that they'd accepted me to compete and my escort and I needed to attend dancing lessons together.

Escort.

Fuck.

Of course this happens on the day that Matt and I broke up. I wasn't even sure I wanted to go with him, but at least it was an opportunity. Now I would have to search far and wide for someone else to dance with me.

"Then why on Earth did you apply for this?" he asked, taking the letter from me again. I stared at him for a while, before looking own at my shoes.

"My mom was crowned Miss Mystic Falls when she was my age. I wanted to follow in her footsteps and go through it with her... but now..."

"She can't... Elena, I think you should go." I looked at Damon with a frown. He was encouraging me to do a pageant? He didn't exactly seem like they were his favorite thing either.

"What makes you say that?" I asked, crossing my arms across my chest. It made no sense at all. He never gave me any advice on what he thought I should do, he just ordered me around.

"Because I think you'll regret it, if you don't do this for your mom," he said, putting the letter back in the envelope and handed it to me. I took it, looking at it for a minute.

"I guess that makes sense," I said, looking at the handwritten address. I knew they were lacking contestants – there was another girl, who was supposed to be competing in the pageant, that died 6 months before. My dad had been the one to try to save her life in the hospital, but he had failed. I wasn't sure what killed her in the end, but I remembered my dad coming home and hugging me tight, saying he loved me more than anything else on the planet.

She had been the same age and height as me, with brown hair, so it had reminded him of me.

With one dead, they needed the rest to come – if I stayed away, it would be weird.

"Alright. I'm doing it. I just need to find an escort before the first lesson," I said, realizing how hopeless it felt. Damon sat there, looking at me for a moment.

"Don't you have a boyfriend?" he asked. I looked at him. He couldn't possibly know about Matt, could he?

"No, we broke up today. He doesn't understand that I need time to find myself after the accident," I said, still frowning at him. He simply nodded at that and got up.

"Well, I'm glad you're going. I'll be in the library if you need me," he said, walking away. At least he was walking with normal human speed.

What the hell was I supposed to do?

"Why don't you go with Stefan?" I turned around, to see Caroline standing there, smiling at me. The damn thing about vampires, was that they're so stealthy and sneaky – I hadn't even heard her, before she talked and my heart was speeding from the shock.

"Stefan? But he's your boyfriend," I said, blushing slightly. Caroline just laughed and sat down on the couch, pulling me with her.

"So? It's just a pageant and he knows how to do the dancing stuff. You wouldn't have to worry about anything else than have fun," she said, shrugging. I contemplated it for a little while – I did get along pretty well with Stefan, and if Caroline was good with it, it couldn't hurt anyone, right?

"And you're sure you're okay with it?" I asked, not wanting to ruin their relationship in any way possible. Once again, she laughed and smiled at me.

"Stefan and I have a very special connection – I'm not in the least bit worried. I think you should go together," she said, smiling at me. I let out a relieved sigh and hugged her.

"Thanks, Care, you saved me once again."

Wanting to actually ask Stefan to be my escort, I walked up to the office next to their bedroom. I politely knocked on the door and waited for him to say something, before I walked in.

He was sitting at the desk, writing in his journal – I knew he'd kept a journal for a long while, because we'd talked a lot about it. What a coincidence that we both liked that.

"What's up, Elena?" he asked and shut the journal. I sat down opposite of him.

"I have a favor to ask of you..." I said, not really knowing how to ask him. It was kind of weird asking Caroline's boyfriend to be my escort.

"I heard you and Caroline talk, and I'd love to be your escort. I think it'd be a lot of fun," he said, smiling at me. Once again, I breathed out relieved and smiled at him.

"Thank you so much, Stefan. You have no idea how much it means to me," I said, grateful that he already knew what I was going to ask him – it just made everything much less awkward.

"It's really not a problem. I've been to a few of those pageants over the years, and they've always been fun. It'll be fun doing it again," he said, "when is the first lesson?"

What do you think? I wanted to include Miss Mystic Falls, because while I do disagree with a lot of the choices the TVD writers made, there are tons I love. See if you can spot them throughout the history! Extra points and cookies for people that do!

Do you enjoy reading Elena's POV? Let me know it all in a review!

Thank you SO much for reading. It means the world to me. See you next time!