Thank u so much for your reviews. I am glad that some of you are reading this story. Although not many do I always really enjoy writing for this one. I realize that not many read it and in the start I really thought about not continuing it but I am glad that the ones who are reading it still keep on reading for now!
So thank you may92, JustLikeBrookeDavis, haleydavisbaker, forever-alwaysB-Davis and some new reviews from Professional Beach Bum and Jb-udontknowme!
Reviews always motivate me that much that I cannot stop writing at night ;) Anyway...before I keep on rambling...here is the next chapter!
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Brooke and Julian ran into Victoria's hotel room only to find Phoebe sitting in Victoria's lap and sleeping. Everybody could tell that the both of them had been crying for a while and it shocked Brooke to see her mother like this: holding and calming down her little sister.
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"You are an evil bitch and I hate, hate, hate you.", Phoebe was throwing everything she could find against the wall or against her mother. Victoria was so stunned at her daughter's behavior that she could not move at first. The tears were streaming down Phoebe's cheek and she was in such a rage that she even walked over to her mother and hit her chest.
"I hate you so much. Why didn't you abort me? Why did you give me away? I hate you." Victoria wasn't able any more to hold back her tears and held her child's wrist and pushed Phoebe against her chest and held her tight.
"I hate you. I hate you mom. I hate you.", Phoebe continued saying and did not realize that Victoria had pulled her on her lap.
"I know you do and you have every right.", Victoria went through her hair and kissed her head. She remembered the time she did this when little Phoebe was crying.
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"Mommy.", Phoebe was three years old and danced in her dress in the living room. She was a really happy child and laughed all day long.
"Yeah Phoebs?", Victoria went to her little daughter and smiled at her. Phoebe had managed to paint her face with a lip-gloss and smiled proudly up at her.
"I want to be a princess when old. And like Bookie." Phoebe used to call Brooke Bookie. "Sure you will be", Victoria said and sat down on the floor to watch her daughter dance. "Mommy. Do I have a daddy?" Without warning Victoria froze at this question and stood up.
"Get out of this stupid clothes Phoebe. You are not a princess and will never be." Phoebe looked stunned at her mother who left the room and started crying.
"Mommy.", she sobbed but then Brooke came into the room. It was a younger version of Brooke and she looked at her little cousin. Somehow she found it so sad that her cousin called her mom mommy and did not know that she was not her mother.
"Hey little one.", she went over to the toddler "why are you crying?", Brooke took Phoebe into her arms and wiped her tears away. She loved that little girl so much and wanted her to be happy.
"My mommy is mad at me." Brooke looked sad at her.
"Maybe your aunt Victoria can get you to shopping later.", she suggested but Phoebe just looked confused at her. Aunt Victoria? She did not understand why Brooke was always calling her mother like this but nodded and hid her head in Brooke's chest.
Meanwhile Richard went into the room where Victoria was, "You have to give her away. She is making you sad every day and reminds me what this asshole did to you."
Victoria looked up at him. "And to where?", she asked trying to hide her sob.
"To him. It's his product and he can deal with her.", Richard answered coldly. He did not want Phoebe in his household. One spoiled daughter was enough to take care of.
"She is still my child Richard.", Victoria protested. The though of giving Phoebe away and not seeing her any more made her very sad and feel guilty.
"But not mine and you will feel better when she's away. After one year you will have forgotten her. We still have enough to deal with Brooke." Victoria nodded and took another sip from the whiskey.
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"I hate you so much.", Phoebe repeated and cried hard, "Why did you hate me so much?"
Victoria looked down at Phoebe and for the first time she saw her little precious daughter. The one that she had bathed. The one that had wanted to cuddle all the time and the one she hade given away.
"I...hate myself for it Phoebe. It was the biggest mistake in my life to give you away." Phoebe cried even more. It was true, it had been a mistake and Victoria did not forgive herself for that. But she was a master in hiding her feelings and turning it the other way around.
"Why didn't you visit me?", Phoebe looked so small right now and helpless. She just wanted a mother. A mother that cared for her and told her that she loved her. A mother that would hold her tight when she was sad and take away all her pain.
"I...you know Phoebe. I wanted to but...but your father..."
Phoebe nodded, "He probably did the same thing to you he did to many women." Victoria was shocked to hear that out of her daughter's mouth, "Did...did he..", Victoria tried to ask.
"No, he loved me. He loved me very much. I was his princess. He loved me.", Phoebe kept on saying and Victoria nodded and wished to turn back time. They stayed in this position for a while and it surprised her that she loved having Phoebe in her arms and showing motherly feelings.
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Victoria looked up into her oldest daughter's eyes when the door opened and a soft smile appeared on her lip. Brooke felt so unsure what to do but entered the room carefully and then sat down besides them. She went through Phoebe's hair and just sat there for a while holding onto Julian all the time. When Phoebe woke up and saw her sister she hid her head in her mother's chest but Victoria took her head into her hands, so that she had to look into her eyes.
"Tell them what you told me.", Victoria said so softly that it was unbelievable.
Phoebe looked at Brooke again and then went into her arms with a cry. "I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I did not mean to scream at you like that. Please don't hate me. Please don't.", Phoebe cried hard and one could tell that everything that had happened was just too much for an eleven year old. Phoebe had to deal with so many adult themes in her life that it was only understandable that she had her tantrums sometimes.
Brooke cried as well and Julian caressed both of them, "Phoebs, we love you and no matter what you do we will never hate you! And we are sorry too. It was not right to question you like this." It took a while to calm down. Victoria watched her daughters and felt very guilty. It was a feeling she hated and which always made her run away. Again. She slowly stood up and packed her stuff.
"Where are you going?", Phoebe asked Victoria sadly and shocked everyone when she opened her arms and Phoebe ran into it. What the hell had happened?
"I am going to New York for some time again. I have to think about a lot and..." Phoebe looked up to her with sad eyes.
"Don't leave me again. Mom.", she whispered. Brooke and Julian heard it and realized that Phoebe really just was a kid and wanted to have her mom and just had pretended to really hate her to protect herself from more pain. Victoria went to her knees to be on the same level as Phoebe and kissed her daughter's cheek.
"I will come back. I promise you that. But I have to think about a lot. I know I've been a...a terrible mother.", she looked at Brooke as well "and...you have your sister now. So I know I'll leave you in very good hands this time." Phoebe nodded and let her head rest on Victoria's shoulder.
Brooke really thought she was dreaming when Victoria went over to Julian, "Julian. I know you're an amazing husband to my daughter and I thank you for that. I know you don't like me but could you do me a favor?" Julian looked shocked at Victoria and then nodded, "Take care of my daughters. Please.", she added softly.
Julian nodded "Of course I'll do that."
"Mom, don't go. Please. I am sorry. I never wanted him to hurt you. Please don't hate me.", Phoebe cried in Victoria's arms and made a tear come out of her eyes as well. "Phoebe. It was not your fault and I don't hate you. I just need some time to think.", Phoebe nodded and looked at Victoria who packed her stuff. Julian took his hand on her shoulder and she fell into his arms immediately. He picked her up and let her cry for a long time and went outside with her. He felt that Brooke and Victoria needed a moment alone.
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"You probably have thousand questions but I am not in the mood to answer them", Victoria said coldly and just continued packing. How could Victoria switch so fast? From a caring mom to a bitch again.
"I don't care whether you are in the mood or not. I have to get answers and I want them from you and not from Phoebe cause you are the grown-up person here. She is a kid and already had to deal with so much and it's probably mostly your fault.", Brooke answered cold and stood in front of her mother.
"I...I really can't Brooke.", Victoria stuttered and then gave her a big letter "here is everything you need to know. Just do me one favor? Read this letter when you're home again. Enjoy this vacation with your family and deal with this later.", Victoria took her hands on Brooke's shoulder, "Just promise me this."
Brooke answered immediately "I don't have to promise you anything but I can somehow see that it's important to you and I promise it to you. But I also promise you that I will do anything to keep you away from Phoebe. I may be your daughter as well but I am not a kid any more and I know the games you are playing all the time. It breaks my heart that my baby sister still sees good in you and just called you mom. If you really love us. Leave us alone."
Victoria nodded and looked at the ground. She knew that Brooke's words were true. She had hurt her daughters too much and there was no way in taking everything back. "I understand that.", she nodded and took her stuff and went out of the room.
"But Brooke. Just let me get this clear. I would change everything I've done in the past if I could. And as unrealistic it may seem to you two. I am proud of you." Brooke's eyes widened in shock, sometimes her mother could still surprise her. She looked at the big letter, she was nervous to read it and put it into her purse.
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Outside Phoebe was sitting on Julian's lap and sleeping. Brooke kissed him on the forehead "What would we do without you?", she smiled sadly and the three of them went back to the house.
Haley, Nathan and Jamie were sitting on the couch and waiting for them, "Is she okay?", Jamie asked when he saw them entering the house with a sleeping Phoebe in Julian's arms.
"She will be." Julian put her into her bed and gave her a kiss on the cheek. He looked down at her and felt like a father. He would definitely do anything to help her. He was stunned that although Phoebe had gone through so much horrible things she had still turned into an amazing kid that helped others a lot although no one had done it for her in the past.
"Julian.", Phoebe whispered not opening her eyes.
"Yes kiddo?"
"Can...can you stay with me a while and just hold me?", she asked while a tear went down her cheek again. She felt so alone right now that she just needed someone near to her. He took off his shoes and went under the blanket with her. He was so proud that she accepted him as the fatherly figure and held her tight until she fell asleep.
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When he came out of the room Nathan, Haley and Brooke were still talking, "I promised to open it when we are at home again. So I won't open it now."
"I think we made a mistake talking to our children like this.", Nathan suddenly said and caught everyone's attention.
"Yeah. Maybe you are right. We have to be more sensitive when it comes to this theme. Especially with Phoebe.", Haley whispered. She could still hear Phoebe's exact words and was expecting the worst.
"Umm...", Brooke tried to say it out loud but could not stop the tears from falling down, "do...do you think she was raped?" There was a silence in the room.
"I...don't know. Well, of course something is definitely wrong and we have to be careful with her but also we cannot imply anything.", Julian said calmly although his heart was breaking, "and we have to talk to her more about the robbery and you as well Brooke." Haley took Brooke's hands. "you both went through such a horrible thing and you cannot pretend any more that you're doing fine." Brooke nodded and let her body rest at Julian's.
"Maybe seeing a therapist isn't a bad idea", Julian suggested and Brooke nodded calmly.
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Meanwhile Jamie went out of his room and into Phoebe's. They had become such good friends and talked about a lot of stuff, "Finally.", Phoebe said and looked up at him when he stood besides the bed.
"I brought us some cookies.", he laughed and sat down on the bed. Phoebe could feel that Jamie stiffened up a bit. He was feeling guilty because everything had started with him kissing her. Suddenly she hugged him from behind tightly and he smiled. He was so glad to have her as a good friend.
"Why don't we just stay best friends without kissing?", Jamie suggested and Phoebe smiled at him when he went under the blanket as well. It was not weird for them when their body touched a little. Best friends were supposed to have sleepovers.
"Yeah. I think that is a good idea.", she whispered and took a cookie into her mouth, "I think I want to wait three more years until I kiss anyone again. I don't want to have a boyfriend in the next time.", Phoebe said honestly. To be true, she did not miss Joshua that much.
"Well, I am not waiting three more years because then I'll be 17 and old.", Jamie replied and took a cookie as well.
"You'll be 16 then, not 17.", she answered immediately but Jamie shook his head.
"Nope. In three years I'll be 17 and you'll be 14." She looked shocked at him and jumped up.
"Oh no. Is it the next day already?", Phoebe looked so cute when she almost jumped on him. He nodded, "Happy Birthday Jamie", she gave him a tight hug and then jumped on the bed and sung him a happy birthday song very loud, so that the adults came into the room and were shocked to find her jumping happily on the bed in her underwear with Jamie holding his ears.
"You are a horrible singer Phoebe.", he screamed. She turned around when the light turned on and jumped screaming, "I knoooooow.", into the next one's arms which were Haley's. Haley looked at the little figure in her arms and smiled. It was so healing to see Phoebe smiling again,"Oh no. I am in my teacher's arms.", Phoebe laughed hard and made everyone other laugh as well.
Although they knew that Phoebe was still hurt from the past they would try anything to keep her away from more pain. She jumped on the bed again and on Jamie's back. He had no difficulties to stand up with her on his back because she was so much smaller than he was. The adults realized that the relationship between them was really just like best friends and a child version, very innocent. But they knew that this would change one day.
"My very best friend is now oooooold.", Phoebe laughed on his back and hugged him tight.
"Can I open my presents now?", Jamie asked excited. Haley and Nathan had to think a while but then nodded.
"Fine. But only this time. But you have to wait a minute in here." The adults went into the living room again and put their presents on the table.
"They are putting your presents on the table and...wow there are surely a lot.", Phoebe whispered to him.
"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.", they sung with a sleepy Lisa in Nathan's arms. Jamie went into the living room and smiled and hugged each one of them. He was very happy in that moment and looked at Phoebe who smiled back at him. Finding such a good friend was really the best present ever.
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