Hi everyone! Phew, sorry I've been missing for so long, but I have good news - I am participating in NaNoWriMo this year with Singer of the Heart and I'm already a good while in, so we should be going back to regular updates for a good long while now. Thank you for sticking with me, even though I've been gone and stuff. Your reviews and messages means the world to me.

Alright, rant over - here is chapter 23!

Chapter 23:

Elena's POV

"I don't know, Bonnie, it was weird. You know, on the way to the restaurant I was feeling so nervous and happy at the same time and then when we got there and he started asking me what was wrong… I just… I don't know, I just got so annoyed with him. And I think it annoyed me even more because I knew I wasn't acting rational," I said, leaning back against Bonnie's bed. We were hanging out for the first time in a while and I was feeling so relieved that I finally had the chance to talk to someone who was my own age and knew me before the accident.

Don't get me wrong, Caroline has been a huge help and I spend a lot of time with her, but sometimes she reminded me that she was a lot older than she looked and the Elena she knew, was different from the Elena I used to be, not that long time ago. Bonnie, however, had known me ever since we were kids and she knew me better than anyone, so hanging out in her room again, talking about life and boys and normal things, was a relief. It was nice, for once, to not have to deal with vampires, death and my new life.

"Well, you've been through alot over the past year, 'Lena. Having mood swings and odd feelings popping up isn't all that weird. I'd be worried if you didn't have them. And I'm sure Damon understands. I mean, his parents are dead too, aren't they? He must know what it's like, so I don't think you have to worry so much," Bonnie said, grabbing her history book from her bag. Yes, Damon's parents were dead, but as far as I knew they died over 200 years ago, so maybe it wasn't as fresh anymore. Of course, Bonnie didn't know that. I had wanted to tell her about Damon and Caroline being a vampire more than once, but I knew I couldn't. And why would she even believe me? I had hardly believed it at first, and I'd been staring right into Damon's face, as the veins popped forth and the fangs and all that.

Even if I someday decided to tell her, I wouldn't know where to begin and where to end. I mean, how do you tell your best friend "oh, hey, I forgot to tell you, my boyfriend is an immortal creature of the night, who has to feed on people to survive and he's actually over 200 years old"? Yeah, you don't.

"I don't know, I mean, I ended up getting pretty mad. I was acting like a brat, just yelling at him in the bathroom and in the parking lot and he just… he frustrates me sometimes, you know? Because even though I was totally overreacting, it was a legitimate problem I brought up and he just told me in that dark voice to 'get in the car'," I said, trying to imitate Damon's voice. Bonnie laughed, which made me giggle as well.

"Well, you guys fixed it, though, didn't you? You ended up telling him you love him!" she said, sounding excited. I blushed a bit and smiled fondly at the memory of Damon telling me that he loved me.

"Yeah… we did," I said.

"So, he understands! I don't know, 'Lena, I know that he's older and… well, at first he looked like a bad boy. But I've seen the way he looks at you. It's like he's only alive because you're here for him. Like… this isn't just some normal love. Maybe it's because he's so much older," Bonnie said. I had to fight to not laugh at that - Bonnie had no idea just how much older than me Damon was. And then I frowned and thought about what she had just said. Did Damon really look at me like that? I knew he cared for me - I mean, he'd told me he loved me and even though the sex that night had been far from making love, I knew it was true. I wasn't sure if I should be worried about that - that our sex was always rough. I didn't know anything about sex, other than what Damon had taught me, but I did know that there was a difference to fucking and making love. And I knew Damon and I hadn't done the latter. But I also knew that just telling me he loved me, had been a big deal for Damon.

Maybe I should talk to Caroline about it. I wanted to talk to Bonnie about it, but I knew she was still a virgin and she probably didn't know all that much about vampire emotions, vampire sex or… well, anything vampire related, really. Or sex related.

"I guess I never really notice the way he looks at me… he's just so hard to figure out sometimes, you know? One minute he wants me and loves me, the next I'm too young and then he looks at me in that special way… it's confusing," I said.

"Does he have a lot of baggage? I mean, he seems like he might have some issues and you know… well, Elena, you just went through hell yourself, so maybe it's rubbing off on you too?" Bonnie said. I frowned and looked at her. Wasn't she just saying how much she liked Damon? How did she turn 180 just like that?

"He has a bit, I guess, but he's always supporting me… he makes sure I'm safe above all. And… he makes me feel like… it's not that I've forgotten about the accident, or… losing my entire family, but… it's easier with him. He makes me feel normal again and, oh my God, the sex… you know, when we just fall asleep, still together and it's just so amazing."

I looked at Bonnie and realized my mistake a second too late. She was looking awkwardly at the floor, and her face wasn't happy anymore.

"I'm sorry, Bonnie… I know you haven't… uh… yeah. Sex has just become so normal to me now, even though every time with him feels so new and exciting. He likes exploring, but… we never make love, really… it's more… just fucking. And it's fun and good and all that, but sometimes I want what you hear about in all the movies," I said, sighing.

"Wait, he never makes love to you? Elena, that's a red flag… sex is where you really express your feelings, right? So, if all he does is… fuck you… doesn't that send the very wrong signal?"

I frowned at Bonnie. I was sort of worried about our sex, sure, but red flags? Bad signals? I didn't think it was that bad.

"I don't think it's that bad, to be honest. He's been through alot, so… he has a while to go. Hopefully we can go there together," I said, shrugging. I knew Damon loved me, even if our sex didn't always reflect it.

"Enough about me! What's going on with you? I feel like we haven't had a proper girl talk in forever," I said, trying to get away from the subject of Damon and whether or not he was a good boyfriend.

"Well, actually, now that you bring it up…" Bonnie was smiling in a ridiculous sort of way, I knew could only mean one thing.

"Bonnie Bennett, are you seeing someone?" I asked, smiling at her. She blushed fiercely, which only confirmed my suspicion.

"Oh my God, you have to give me details! Is it someone I know?" I asked, sitting closer to her. Her smile faded a bit as she looked up at me. I frowned, not understanding why she had the sudden change in attitude.

"Yeah, Elena, it is…" she said, but her voice wasn't happy and the smile on her face was small and not at all happy.

"I don't understand, why are you looking so sad? Does he know yet?" I asked, thinking that maybe she had fallen in love with somebody who didn't love her back.

"He… he knows and he likes me too, but…"

"Then what's the problem?" I asked, confused. Bonnie hadn't even mentioned liking anybody, so this was total news to me.

"Well,you know him… and you know him pretty well," Bonnie said slowly, as though she was secretly afraid of the words coming out of her mouth. I frowned.

"Bonnie, just tell me who it is! You know I'm excited for you!" I said, trying to encourage her to tell me. I wasn't sure who I knew pretty well, who liked Bonnie.

"It's… uh… it's Matt."

My insides felt like they'd been frozen, for a brief second. Bonnie had been seeing Matt? It wasn't that I wanted him, because I didn't. I had Damon and I was over Matt - but the thought of my very best friend, starting to date my ex such a short time after we broke up, hurt me more than I wanted to admit.

"You're seeing Matt?!" I asked, raising my voice at her. I could tell by her face that she had been expecting this and it only made me more angry.

"How long have you been going behind my back?" I said, standing up. I needed to be moving and I needed to do something to get rid of all this anger, betrayal and hurt.

"6 months…" Bonnie said slowly, looking down at the floor. I gaped at her. Unless my math was horribly off, 6 months ago had been only just after we broke up. That would mean that Matt and Bonnie already had been dating, when Matt had come to me on my 17th birthday party.

"6 months!? Did you even bother to wait a day before you grabbed him for yourself, after I broke up with him? Jesus Christ, Bonnie, how long have you been in love with him?" I yelled, pacing back and forth in her bedroom.

"I'm sorry, Elena, it just sort of… happened. I was at his house trying to comfort him after you guys broke up and we sorta just… ended up kissing," she mumbled, clearly ashamed of what she had done. At least she knew how shitty it was.

"How could you do this to me? You know what Matt meant to me and how hard it was for me to break up with him. How did you decide that you were gonna be there for him instead of me?" I said, feeling tears pressing on in the back.

"I've…. I've been in love with Matt for a long time and I didn't wanna try to do anything with him, I promise, but it just happened and… well he and I talked about it, and…. You seemed like you were so happy about breaking up with him, so we didn't think you'd mind," she said. I ran my hands through my hair, pacing back and forth.

"I can't believe my best friend would do this to me. But I guess you really aren't that good of a friend in the end," I said. She looked up and I could see tears beginning to run down her cheeks.

"I don't want to lose you, Elena, you're my best friend," she whispered, followed by more tears.

"Well, you should have remembered that before you decided to pick my ex over me," I said. She started sobbing and I could visibly see her shaking. I felt a little bit torn between wanting to comfort her and wanting to leave her like this.

"Please, Elena… I'm so so sorry," she said, sobbing harder.

"Yeah, so am I," I said and made a quick decision. I grabbed my bag and was headed towards the door, when the window in her room shattered, part of it hitting my cheek. I screamed and tried to cover my head and before I knew it, I was in familiar arms, hearing Damon's chest growling. I looked up to see him in full vampire mode and Bonnie was freaking out on the floor.

Damon took one look at the situation, obviously decided that nothing here was immediately dangerous and let his vampire features slip away. He looked down at me, his blue eyes piercing mine, as he looked over my face and ended up looking at the cut on my cheek. He slowly glided his thumb over it and sucked the blood away, giving me a mischievous smile.

A sob from Bonnie broke our eye contact and Damon looked at her with a sigh. He then planted a kiss on my forehead and let me go. As soon as he came near to Bonnie, she started scooting backwards, trying to get away from him.

"No, no, no, don't be afraid, Bonnie. I won't hurt you, I promise!" he said calmly, speeding right in front of her and catching her eye. It was the most bizarre thing I had ever seen. She went from being a sobbing mess, to sitting totally still, not moving her eyes away from his. Damon then proceeded to whisper to her and Bonnie repeated after him, mindlessly. After that, he checked her for injuries, decided that the glass from the broken window hadn't hit her and then stood up. He walked back to me, grabbing my bag off the floor and putting his arm around me.

"Come on, Elena, we're gonna go home now," he said quietly.

"Did you just do that compulsion thing to her?" I asked, looking at my best friend, or whatever she was right at that moment. She was standing up, as though somebody was controlling her with strings, starting to clean up the glass, carefully.

"She can't know I'm a vampire. It would be too dangerous," he said, leading me out of her room. I couldn't help but be worried for her, even though I was really really mad at her.

"Is she gonna be okay?" I asked, looking back through her door.

"Of course she is. I checked and she was just fine. Compulsion doesn't affect you in a bad way, unless the vampire decides it has to. And I just told her to forget what just happened and clean up the window without hurting herself," he said, going out the front door and locking it behind us.

"It must be so weird, having your mind meddled with like that. Are you sure she's not going to feel it? I mean, you just erased some of her memories," I said, worried.

"Elena, you can trust me. Although it's probably not the most fun thing in the world, she won't remember a thing, I promise you. She'll be just fine. What happened anyway?" he asked, obviously trying to change the subject away from compulsion. I wasn't done asking questions, but decided I could ask him about it at a different time. Maybe I'd even ask him to try it out on me, just so I knew what it was like.

"Well, we were talking and Bonnie dropped a bomb on me and then the windows kinda just… shattered, I guess. It was really freaky," I said, as we walked down the street.

"What do you mean she 'dropped a bomb on you'?" he asked, confused.

"She told me she's dating Matt," I said, still trying to understand that she had actually just told me she was dating my ex.

"Matt? The Donovan kid you used to date?" he asked and looked at me. I frowned and looked back at him.

"Did I tell you his last name?" I asked. I thought I saw a flash of fear across his face, but it was gone so quickly I wasn't sure.

"Ric told me," he said quickly, "how about you hold onto me and I'll speed us home? It's a long way to walk."

"Yeah, you're probably right," I said, letting him lift me up as I put my arms around his neck.

As soon as we got home, Damon seemed awfully distant. I couldn't quite figure out why, but I knew that he needed his alone time, so I didn't wanna disturb him. Instead, I went to find Caroline, who were hold up in the living room, bent over her planning.

"Hey Care," I said, sitting down on the floor next to her. She looked up at me with a smile and then looked back at her planning.

"How's it going?" she asked, gluing some pictures onto the book of final choices. I shrugged and leaned back against the couch.

"Not all that well, to be honest… I was hoping you could maybe help me," I said, looking at her. To my luck, she put all her planning stuff away instantly and gave me her full attention.

"Of course! What's going on?" she asked.

It was a relief to tell her about everything that had been going on for the past few weeks. She was a good listener, and she knew so much about life, that I knew she would be able to give me sound advice.

"Wait, wait, your best friend, slept with your boyfriend less than a month after you guys broke up?" she said, staring at me for confirmation. I nodded my head and sighed.

"Well, do you still have feelings for Matt?" she asked. I moped at her.

"No, of course not. I love Damon. You know that, Caroline!" I said, a little bit offended she would even think I could be in a relationship with Damon, if I had feelings for somebody else.

"Then… is it really that big of a deal that Bonnie is with him now?" she asked. I laid my head back against the couch and thought it over.

"Well, not right now, but it was a really shitty thing to do. I mean, Matt and I have been a thing ever since we were kids and less than a month after we broke up, which she knew was a big deal for me, she just swoops in a grabs him, instead of trying to be there for me and help me get over it," I said.

"Sure, it wasn't a nice thing to do. But is it really worth losing your best friend over, now that you don't have feelings for him anymore? It's not like you want him back or will ever want him back. You're with Damon and if those two are happy together, shouldn't you be happy for them? She already apologized to you," Caroline said. I looked at her and thought it over for a while. It was true that Bonnie had seemed genuinely sorry, but it had still really hurt that she didn't tell me.

"I guess you're right…" I said, not happy about admitting it. Caroline lit up into one big smile.

"And as for Damon and the sex, I really don't think you should be worried. Damon lead a very… alternative lifestyle before he met you and he's not used to the whole loving boyfriend kind of thing. I could imagine that hard sex is the only thing he knows and the only thing he feels comfortable with. You're just going to have to see if you can teach him to be less rough and more loving," she said.

"How do I do that? I mean I'm not exactly all that familiar with sex… I only know what Damon taught me," I said.

"Just follow your instincts. You'll find that you probably know how it should be, you just haven't tried it out yet, because you've let him lead," she said, smiling at me. I knew Caroline was pretty experienced when it came to sex, because her and Stefan had had so much time to figure out how it worked for them. Damon and I had only had a few months and we wouldn't have as much time as them… not unless I wanted to become a vampire, like him of course.

It was a thought I hadn't ever considered and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Damon hadn't changed for so many years, and I would keep on changing. It felt like a cliche thing to consider, seeing as it was the thing all modern Young Adult vampire books revolved around, but it seemed to be a very real problem for me, all of a sudden.

"How did you decide that you wanted to be a vampire?" I asked. A range of emotions went over Caroline's face, beginning at sadness and ending at a smile.

"There were a lot of factors that played into me and Stefan's relationship, Elena… With him, it was like there was no choice. I had to be with him, and a life as a vampire was a huge upgrade from the life I used to live," she said, with a sad smile. I realized then that I actually didn't know anything about Caroline's background at all. I knew Stefan had come into her life and swooped her off her feet, but that was about the only thing I knew.

"What was your life like back then?" I asked, curious to hear more.

"It wasn't fun, Elena… it's not like Damon and Stefan, who lived like royalty back in Italy," she said, as though she was trying to dismiss it.

"I'm still interested, if you want to tell me," I said, getting comfortable on the floor.

"Well, if you insist," she said, seemingly baffled by me wanting to hear about it, "I was born in 1912 in Chicago and my parents were very poor. They died shortly after my 13th birthday, so I was on my own for a long time, with no money, no family and no idea how to live a real life."

"I got a job at a local club, singing in a short dress, showing way too much skin for a 13 year old, but it was helping me get by and get food everyday. The boss was a pervert and tried several times to touch me inappropriately and things like that, but he never succeeded. He got close one night, though, and that was the night I met Stefan. He had been at the club, but he only kept his eyes on my face, not on my legs or my cleavage like the other men. I wasn't sure what to think of it, when I was on stage. After I got off the stage, the manager came over and he was drunk. He was trying to kiss me, and Stefan stepped in. Punched him in the face and got me away from him. We spent all night talking, which was a nice change. It had been a long time since I'd had anybody to talk to."

"He spent a long time coming back to the club and building a relationship with me. While I appreciated his help on that first night, I didn't trust him. I mean, why would such a handsome stranger just step in and save me, without any ulterior motives? And I think he kind of understood that, because he kept coming and he would always watch me and tell me how he loved my voice after I was done performing. He would leave me very generous tips, but not in the way other men did. This wasn't stuck into my clothes, but given to my hand, with a reminder to keep myself safe."

"And then one night, what I had always been fearing happened. On my way home, someone pulled me into an alley and I knew I wasn't going to survive. It was a time where it wasn't safe for young girls to walk home alone, but I had always taken my risks to be able to eat and have a place to live. I thought I was going to die." Caroline's face looked painful at the flashback of that night. I felt like giving her a hug and trying to comfort her, but at the same time, I was very curious about what had happened after that - obviously she hadn't died.

"They pulled me in and pushed me against the wall - I was screaming for my dear life and suddenly, something attacked them. It was like they were swooshed away by the wind. I didn't understand what was happening, until a head landed in front of me. I think I was too scared to scream. I was overwhelmed when Stefan was standing right there in front of me, fangs out and veins and all. I should have been scared, by all means, but I wasn't. I knew he wasn't going to hurt me. He took me home and he made sure I took a long nice bath, made sure I ate and then he sat down and answered every single question I asked him. I ended up falling asleep in his arms, but the next morning, he was gone."

"A lot of other things happened, but from that night on, we were tight and he turned me the day before my 17th birthday," Caroline said, finishing her story. I looked at her in awe. I knew that they had quite the story behind them, but I hadn't expected it to be so crazy. And I couldn't believe that Caroline had been singing in clubs when she had been that young. She had been completely robbed of a childhood.

"How did you decide you were going to turn? I mean, you were so young… I don't think I could make that decision now, as a 17-year-old," I said, imagining for a brief moment, what it would be like to turn for Damon. I imagined myself 100 years from now, when all my friends were dead, Bonnie and Matt, and I would still look like a 17-year-old. I had a hard time picturing it, never aging further than teenage age, never maturing physically, never having children… but part of me felt like it might all be worth it, to be with Damon for the rest of eternity.

"It was Stefan… he was my special someone… you know, like my soulmate. Knowing I would have to leave him, if I didn't turn, it broke my heart. So in reality, there wasn't much of a choice," she said, smiling at me. I knew she was thinking the same as I - that I would have to make that choice at some point too. Maybe not now and maybe not within the next ten years, but at some point I would begin to look older than Damon and if I chose to stay human, I would have to leave him - I would die and he would keep on living.

"Have you thought about turning for Damon?" she asked me. I looked at her and sighed.

"I hadn't before we talked, no… and now it seems so foolish that I've never considered the choice I'm going to have to make at some point. I don't know, Care… I mean, I've always wanted kids, but unless I'm much mistaken, vampires can't make babies," I said, "but I also love Damon so much and I don't wanna leave him. Ever."

"Well, Elena, there's still a long while until you have to make that choice. And until then, I suggest you just stay with Damon and enjoy your time with him," she said with a smile.

"Do you think he'd want to stay with me forever?" I asked. Caroline laughed a little and then she gave me a hug. I was a little confused at first, but then she pulled me even closer and whispered: "I think you're very special to Damon."

I wasn't sure what to make of that, but I liked how comforting her arms were and it had been a long time since I'd had a hug like that.

Damon's POV

I had just gotten out from a shower, when my door was banged open by a furious blonde.

"You still haven't told her that she's your Singer?!" Caroline yelled, smacking the door behind her.

"Careful, Blondie, that door is older than you," I said, getting clothes from my dresser. I really didn't need her to push me on this right now - I already felt bad for not telling Elena that I knew her best friend was a witch and I had slipped up by knowing her ex-boyfriend's name. Sometimes I forgot that she didn't know I had been watching over her from the day she was born, and she certainly didn't need to know yet. It would be cruel to let a 17-year-old have to worry for so long about either dying or having to turn into a vampire - it would be better to wait until it got closer, so she didn't have her teenage years ruined by it.

"Damon, you have to tell her! You can't just keep lying to her like this!" she shouted, closing the drawer I had just gotten my t-shirt out of.

"Geez, could you be any louder? I don't think the people in Siberia heard you!" I hissed, having had enough of her yelling.

"You have to let her know that she doesn't have the option to grow old and die like a normal human being! You can't just let her stay in the dark until it's convenient for you!" she said, clearly very frustrated with me.

"First of all, I don't have to do a damn thing and second of all, for your information, I am doing this for her. Don't you think I would like to know whether or not I'm gonna have to watch her die, knowing she's not gonna come back, just because she really doesn't want to be with me? Did you ever think, just for one second, that I'm doing this, so she gets to live her teenage years without having to worry about making that choice, until it is absolutely necessary? She's 17! There's still so much time left until she has to think about this problem, so I'm going to let her live her human life until I can't hold it off anymore," I said, glaring Caroline down. At least that seemed to shut her up - she looked at me, totally speechless and surprised.

"I… I hadn't looked at it that way," she said quietly.

"Well, now you do. So maybe you won't be so quick to judge me in the future," I said, turning my back to her and putting my shirt on.

"I'm sorry," Caroline said and exited through the door. As soon as she was gone, I put my fist through the window.

There we go! We dived a little bit more into Caroline's story in this one and I'm very nervous/excited to hear what you thought of it. This one had me stuck for a long while, so I'm happy I got through it.

Oh and what do you think of Bonnie and Matt? I'm not sure where it came from - I had Elena and Bonnie talk and suddenly that came up.

I can't wait to hear all your thoughts, so please, leave me a review and I will see you again in a week!