Goodness! I am so very sorry for the long time since my last update! It's been a busy time around here with family stuff and work: 3 birthdays, 2 family reunions, 2 anniversaries (18 years for my in-laws and 8 years of wedded bliss for my hubby and me!). Also had a 3-day off-site sales meeting…and those things always manage to wear me out in a way that normal work days don't. Other than that, I have RFPs up the wazoo this month and we're supposed to go camping this Thurs-Sun, though I may end up working! Two more birthdays this week—Mom-in-law and my little guy turns 4 on Friday! He's so excited!
So…my life in a nutshell. Hope this long chapter makes up for it. Enjoy!
Chapter 37 – When, not if
Kate was approaching the stack of paperwork on her desk with such focus that Castle was certain its impetus was distraction than more than deadline. He had a better distraction for her, but he found himself hesitant. He knew he'd be bound over to eagerness and excitement if she said yes, but, if she said, no…well, it wasn't heartbreak or certain doom, but he'd be fending off crotchetiness for the next few days.
For the last forty minutes, Kate had been aware of his eyes on her, but it was a different kind of scrutiny. He was fidgeting, so she knew something was up. She was wondering what he'd done.
"What, Castle?" Kate didn't bother looking up from her paperwork.
"Question."
Beckett rolled her eyes, but tempered her sigh by looking his way. She lowered her chin and was giving him that 'let's get this over with' look. Castle decided it was best just to plunge forward.
"Would you like to go camping?"
"Camping, Castle?" Beckett gasped incredulously. Not at all what I was expecting. Beckett stood abruptly, shooting her chair back a bit toward Karpowski's desk.
"Do I look like the kind of girl who goes camping?" Kate asked as she flashed her hand down her chest, past her small waist and lower before stopping again in front of her chest.
Castle's eyes followed her hand, looking her down and up. He took her question and hand waving as an invitation to freely check out the finest specimen of the female species he'd ever encountered.
Kate was always well-dressed, and today was no exception. She wore a stylish bright white blouse, collared and unbuttoned to reveal a black lace camisole. Shiny black pearl-like buttons rode the center of her shirt and matched the three buttons on the French cuff covering each of her thin wrists. This was tucked into black, modern trousers which, sadly, hid most of her fabulous boots. These were the shiny ones, pointed toe, no buckle—so he knew they zipped to mid–calf.
Kate could stand to be a little less covered in Castle's opinion, but she definitely put quality over quantity, and knew, for the most part, what looked good on her—even if she was a little conservative at times. Still, Kate's reaction also amused him. Maybe it wouldn't have if he weren't sitting there wearing a Del Sienna shirt and Louis Vuitton shoes. But he could Eddie Bauer it up to camping, and he knew Kate could to—if she wanted to.
Immediately, Kate regretted her action. Not only was Castle now smirking and ogling her, she managed to engage Ryan and Esposito. Not bothering to hide their own smirks or look away, they settled back into their chairs to watch the exchange. Did they know what Castle was planning?
Unwilling to give them the satisfaction of yet another show, Kate settled back into her chair, returning to her keyboard and her notes from the last case. "Really, Castle?" she says, in a lower voice. "What makes you think I'd want to go camping?"
"It's just, you haven't been on vacation since—well, ever. I mean, Montgomery forced you to take a couple days at Christmas, but—"
"Since when does camping equate to vacation?" she interrupted.
"Well, it would be a favor to me, actually. Ashley's parents wanted to go camping with us. That somehow turned into Ashley, his parents and four other teenagers. But, Elizabeth broke her ankle jet skiing this past weekend, so they're not going. Alexis still really wants to go. I'm stuck either letting down six teenagers, going it alone or finding someone else to help chaperone."
"Why don't you ask Ryan and Esposito? Esposito camps."
"Much as I'd love to see Ryan camping in his three-piece suit, half these teens are girls. Kinda defeats the purpose of having a chaperone if I take along more men."
"They don't need a chaperone, Castle. They're 17, 18 years old."
"They're hormonal."
"They're normal, and you being there or not being there isn't going to change anything. I went camping when I was that age without my parents."
"Your dad let you go camping with boys by yourself?"
"What daddy didn't know, didn't hurt."
"Trust me. That's not true. And even if it were, there are other parents involved besides me, and adult supervision was promised when the invitations were extended."
"Good thing Ashley's parents were committed. Whatever will you do?" Beckett asked, letting her eyes go big.
"I'd normally ask Steph and Magi, but she's seven months pregnant."
"When do I get to meet Karamagi and Steph anyway?" The three had ganged up on Castle about his last "lackluster" interview on Castle's—or rather Rick Roger's—Facebook page, but she'd never met either his friend or cousin.
"Couple weeks. Stop changing the subject."
"There is no subject and, therefore, no need to predicate."
"Clever." Castle thought a moment. "Go."
"Hmm?"
"It has no subject or predicate and is, therefore, the perfect answer."
"I like that answer. Why don't you go away?"
"Aww, come on Beckett. You know you want to," he says watching her from the corner of his eye. She closed her eyes for a moment and he knew she was willing herself to relax. She'd pretend he hadn't spoken so that she could further pretend this wasn't happening—and that she didn't have to respond.
But Castle, waited and watched. He saw the moment her neck muscles relax and her shoulders slackened to their normal width. He knew he shouldn't, that it might push her too far, but he couldn't resist the urge to press her buttons just a little more.
"You used to love camping," he stated knowingly, watching her from the corner of his eye, while he played with his coffee cup.
Kate breath hitched and she slowly lowered her head. It wasn't that she didn't love camping. It was true. She used to love it. Used to. When her mom was around. It was another one of those things that they didn't do after she was gone. She had been in college at that point, and they were planning a cruise—something a little bigger and better—before her mother was killed.
They were going to go on her spring break. So, who knew? Maybe they would have never gone camping as a family again anyway, but she'd never know. She'd never have the chance to stay up late and sit across from her parents while listening to the fire crackle, mesmerized by the flames. Her mother would never again be the first to say, it was late, or "That's it for me," before heading off to bed.
Castle didn't need to see her face to know where her thoughts had taken her. The way her father spoke, he thought it would be good memories for Kate. Obviously, he had been wrong.
"No, Castle." Kate's whispered her answer quietly, but firmly. She turned back to her computer. "And I don't appreciate you going behind my back to ask my father personal things about me."
"I didn't…" Just shut up, Castle. Don't drag it out! "I'm sorry, Kate. Forget I mentioned it."
Castle couldn't see, but it was then that her eyes filled with tears. Why did he have to be so damn understanding?
Castle thought of leaving then, but he didn't want her to think he was sulking, angry or intentionally injurious. Plus, he was hoping that if he stuck around, he could somehow indicate to Kate that running into her father was pure happenstance—not some plot on his part to delve into her past. No, he'd learned his lesson the hard way.
Jim Beckett arrived to the 12th precinct just a little early. He walked past a man in a jumpsuit wearing handcuffs sitting outside one of the rooms. His arms were thick like tree branches. It gave him the willies to think of his little girl trying to take down people like him. Actually, he didn't care who it was—big, small, man, woman, quick, slow, cunning or dumber than a doorknob—he'd much prefer his Katie remained safe.
He was actually pleased when she became a detective. To him, it seemed safer than being the feet on the street. Plus, he'd always thought she was cut out for something more than responding to domestic disturbances and writing citations. Kate had always been brainy and attentive, so he knew she'd be good at the thinking side of things, and after all she'd been through, he knew no one could be more empathetic. He wasn't surprised that she'd quickly become one of New York's best detectives.
Katie was fair, dedicated, hard-working and just—all qualities that were incredibly reminiscent of Johanna. But they were different. Johanna had always been determined to see the best in people and to fight for the little guy; Katie was guarded and hard to win over. She'd learned to be suspicious, that people could be cruel and that it was hard to recover. For her, loving someone meant pain was inevitable. He'd reinforced that belief once or twice, but he and Johanna had shown her the other side of love, too.
Jim stopped for a moment to look around. It had been a while and things were not set up the same way they had been the last time he'd been at the precinct. It only took him a moment to spot Castle, though. The writer sat facing him, but his eyes were trained on the woman next to him. Katie didn't even seem to notice. Jim shook his head. Boy's got it bad.
He walked closer, catching Castle's attention.
"Rick," Jim said, extending his hand. "Long time no see." Jim cocked his head toward Katie, clearly wondering if Castle had asked his daughter about camping yet.
Castle quickly shook his head "no" while shaking Jim's hand. Kate turned in time to see them shaking hands, but missed the exchange.
Kate stood up to embrace her father. "Hey, Dad."
She seemed a little heavier and stayed a little longer than usual, so when she pulled back, Jim pulled her to his side and kissed her temple.
"Missed you," he whispered to her.
"Yeah, me too."
"You ready for lunch?"
"Mr. Beckett!" Jim turned to find Detective Ryan behind him.
"Kevin!" Jim said, patting the detective on the shoulder. "I hear congratulations are in order."
"Yes, sir. Making the leap."
"Proud of you." Jim nudged him playfully. "Katie showed me some pictures. How'd you manage to snag such a looker?"
The captain walked up beside them in time to hear Jim's comment. "We've been wondering the same thing. We offered Jenny a psych exam, but she wouldn't take it." The captain clasped Jim's hand in his own. "Jim, how are you?"
"Great. You?"
"Doing well."
"And Evelyn and the girls?"
"Just celebrated our 30th, and the girls? Well, they're teenagers."
Jim shuddered. "I remember." Kate backhanded his chest.
"Me, too," Castle said. He, too, shuddered, thinking of Alexis kissing Ashley the night before.
"I've met you're daughter," Jim said. "She's an angel. You can complain when she comes home with a—"
"Dad!" Kate exclaimed, tinting with embarrassment. "I think we're done here."
"Story for another time?" Rick asked, as the others laughed at an uncomfortable Beckett.
Jim made this promise and chatted a bit with the captain, Castle and the boys while Kate finished up.
"Ready?" she asked. Jim held out his arm to her and they started to walk away.
"You're not coming with us?" Jim questioned, when Castle didn't move to join them. He was still sitting on the edge of Kate's desk, checking his phone.
"Me? No. No, no. I have an appointment downtown. I get to spend the afternoon having talking points drilled into my head. Besides, I know how important some daddy-daughter time is."
"Oh, well, it was good to see you again, Rick. Glad I ran into you this morning." Kate's eyes widened. She turned to her father and asked him to give her a sec.
In a moment, she was standing beside Castle, looking down at him while he remained seated on her desk. She stood so close she could feel his thigh against her own. Kate stared at him, trying to assess why he didn't just come out and tell her.
To Jim, it looked like an intimate conversation, but he was less used to seeing the two of them together. To everyone else, it was standard Beckett-Castle.
"You know, Castle, you could have told me."
Castle shrugged. "You said you trusted me." He didn't look sad or accusatory. "Me?" he mused, "I'm still waiting for you to figure out what that really means." He wasn't being mean, just genuine. "Also, Beckett…I'm disappointed." Kate frowned.
Castle grinned slyly. "I left you wide open for a 'drill, baby, drill' and you didn't take it."
Kate smirked. "I'd hate to steal your line, Castle." She turned to walk away.
Ooh, ouch. Castle almost didn't realize she'd sauntered off. "Hey!" he called after her. "Are you still doing movie night with Alexis?"
"I'll be there."
It was a nice day out, so they decided on a café with an outdoor patio. They sat making small talk for a bit, but Kate was distracted by her thoughts. She was thinking about what Castle said, but she didn't understand it. She did trust him. Thinking he'd done something that, in her mind, would be so typically Castle didn't mean she didn't trust him. Did it?
Kate wasn't even really mad at the thought of Castle talking to her father. So, why did I even accuse him of going behind my back? Kate wrestled with this question. Castle was her friend and partner. Her dad knew her other friends and partners. Plus, the man had written close to three novels based on her. She reasoned it made sense for them to meet and know one another. The truth was she should have introduced them a long time ago.
But Castle was never going to be just a friend. And she didn't introduce boyfriends to her father. He hadn't met anyone since Will. She didn't want her father seeing into the superficial, knowing that, though they might have the label, they were essentially just steady sex mates. But she wasn't dating Castle, their relationship definitely wasn't just sex and she found she wanted her dad to know him—and like him.
And it was clear that James Beckett not only approved, but thought his daughter was out her mind for not dating the man who 'is so clearly head over heels' for her. That was his assessment on the phone when they spoke after Mother's Day—and they'd only met once at that point! Now they'd met again and had breakfast without her, and there was no doubt in her mind that she'd been the primary topic of conversation.
"You wanna talk about whatever's bugging you?"
"Hmm? Nothing's bugging me."
"Katie. I'm your father. Something's troubling you. Is it me?"
You mean you and you being gone and you having a girlfriend? "No, of course not."
"'Cause if it's about Sheryl—"
"It's not. It's nothing. I promise."
It's not about Royce. It's not about Mom or losing her ring or breaking down. It's not about Josh. It's not about being confused. It's not about Castle asking me to go camping. It's not about wanting to and saying no. It's not about really wishing Mom were here right now. It's not about anything.
Kate picked at her food. "I'm happy for you, Dad. Truly. How is Sheryl anyway?"
"Good. She's been keeping busy at the bakery. We were hoping you could have dinner with us sometime soon. It'd be great if you two could get to know one another better."
"I'd like to, Dad." Sometime.
"Are you free on Sunday?"
"Um, well…Esposito and I—we're on call."
"But you could come, if nothing happens?"
"Well, I can't leave the city."
"We could have dinner here though, at Sheryl's?" Jim watched his daughter's face scrunch slightly. "Or at a restaurant? I'm sure you know some good places. You could bring your boyfriend."
Kate's head shot up. "I don't have a boyfriend." Not anymore.
"That's funny, because Rick seems to think you do."
"Well, I don't."
"Then why does Rick think you do? That seems…" Rather cruel, he thought to himself—though he wasn't going to tell that to his daughter.
"Rick doesn't know as much as he thinks he does. And my relationships are none of his business."
Jim frowned at his daughter. "Are you mad at him? What did he do to you?"
"No, I'm not mad at him! I just—" I'm having a hard time figuring out how there's not a part of my life I can discuss without it being somehow related to Rick.
Kate sighed. "There was someone. He's a doctor. We dated for a few months, but he was gone a lot. He just left again for another Doctors Without Borders mission. He's a good guy. But he's not…We never saw each other. I mean, he just left on Friday, but I still only saw him I think three times this past month. I told him we were through, but apparently he didn't get the message. He left for Zimbabwe thinking we're going to work things out, so my relationship status is in limbo."
"I'm sorry, Katie."
"Don't be. He was a little arrogant. Total mama's boy—and you'd have thought he was too pretty."
"You could always bring Rick. I like him."
Kate shook her head, but she wore a half smile. Me, too.
"How about it, Katie? Double date with your old man?"
"Rick has a date, Dad. But if you can get over your little man crush and settle for your dear daughter, I think we can manage dinner on Sunday."
"Ooh, I have the crush?" Jim teased, enjoying watching his daughter's cheeks go pink.
"You about done?" Kate asked. "I have to get back to work."
Castle opened the door to a pure vision in white. With the warm lights from the hall backlighting her, it reminded Castle of the "angel light" in that show Alexis used to like with Roma Downey. Kate's hair fell loose around her shoulders, looking even darker against the white tank she wore. Or was it a dress? Castle wondered as his eyes traveled down and he realized Kate Beckett was standing before him in a long white, ruffled skirt.
Kate's feet were nearly bare, with red toes poking out of strappy flat sandals. His eyes lingered there. Her feet were so slender. Perfect ankles. Long toes. They wiggled, and he noticed the toe ring on the second toe of her right foot. Longer second toes. Good, God! He knew what that meant! And it was true. God, it was so true!
He shut the door.
Kate's brow curled in confusion. She wasn't sure what just happened. She adjusted the strap over her shoulder and raised her hand to knock again, but the door reopened.
"Kate, Dear. Come in." Martha stepped back to allow Kate room. "I swear. Sometimes I don't know what's wrong with that boy."
Kate had no idea what to say to that, so she just accepted Martha's hug.
Martha walked off toward the dining room where Alexis was busy studying. She tapped her shoulder and Alexis removed her ear buds. "Alexis, where's your father? I don't suppose he wants me manning dinner."
"He just checked it. Walked by mumbling something about being 'too damn old to develop a foot fetish'—so, I'm guessing Kate's here?"
Kate laughed behind her. "She is." She noticed they both dropped their eyes to her bare feet. Kate stood there awkwardly for a moment while the two inspected her.
"They're just feet—the same feet you've all seen before."
"And a skirt," Alexis said.
"Which you've also both seen before—more than once." Kate was fiercely blushing now.
"You look beautiful, Darling, as always, but...you do look different. Glowing, or…do you tan?"
Kate shook her head. "No. I just finally dug out my summer clothes…which I suppose you haven't seen, but really…nothing special."
She'd gone home ready to get out of her work clothes. She'd needed something light and fun to help pull her out of her mood. The skirt fit the bill. She'd paired it with a white tank and a white summer scarf with pastel, barely noticeable butterflies. She hadn't given the outfit a second thought. Well…maybe she thought Castle would notice it. She certainly didn't expect him to slam the door in her face. She could honestly say she'd never gotten that reaction before.
Kate dropped her laptop into the chair at the end of the table and as she took the chair across from Alexis. "How's the studying going?"
"Good. Just listening to my history teacher's review. I had two exams today, so I only have three left. Two tomorrow, one on Friday."
"You sure you have time for this?"
"Are you kidding? I can use the break. Plus…the only hard one I have left is Chem. History and English will be easy. She's giving us our first Blue Book exam, though."
"You know, most teenagers don't get excited about the prospect of a Blue Book."
Alexis shrugged and smiled. "So, what's with the laptop?"
Kate smiled back at her. "I'll show you later. I think you'll like it."
Castle came back, walking through the dining area to the kitchen. He had escaped to his room, briefly debated a cold shower, but opted instead to bite his knuckles and think of mud and murder and toe jam. "Dinner's ready, actually," Castle said as he opened the oven. Kate followed him to the kitchen and opened the drawer to grab utensils, while Martha worked on plates and Alexis cleared her books and papers to just one end of the table.
Kate glanced at Castle to find he was looking at her feet again. "You okay, Castle?"
Rick looked up at her with a bit of a scowl on his face. "Hmm?"
"Something wrong?"
"No." How am I supposed to eat dinner when all I can think about is touching her toes? Sucking on her toes? I don't even like toes! But her toes had invaded his mind.
They all sat down at the table with plates of baked chicken, cheesy rice and broccoli. It looked delicious, and reminded Kate that breakfast was something she wanted to discuss with Castle.
"Dad said the diner you went to serves up a good breakfast."
"Uh, yeah."
"You had breakfast with Mr. Beckett?"
"Oh, he didn't tell you that, huh?" Kate said looking to Alexis. "Yes, apparently our fathers ran into one another completely out of the blue and decided to have breakfast."
"That's…interesting. How is Jim, Richard?"
Rick looked at the three women looking back at him. Kate was going somewhere with this. "He's good."
"What did you guys talk about?"
"Oh, you know…being dads, uh, the jamboree."
"That all, Castle?"
"No, of course not."
"So, you talked about Alexis?"
"Yes."
"And you talked about me?"
"Yes."
"About work?"
Castle nodded.
"Ashley?"
"Yes."
"Sheryl?"
"Yes."
"Next book?"
"Yeah."
"Plans for the weekend?"
"Yes."
"Anything else?"
"That about covers it."
"How was the bacon?"
"Goo—huh?"
"Bacon, Castle!"
"Dad! You know you're not supposed to eat bacon!"
"Richard, really, Dear. Especially not at some greasy dive."
"I can't believe your dad ratted me out!"
"He didn't say a word, Castle."
"Then how'd you—?"
"I'm a detective, Castle." She reached to pick up her phone. "Oh, and my phone smells like bacon."
Castle took her phone from her and sniffed it. "I think it smells like you."
"I do not smell like bacon, Castle."
"You could give it a try…I hear there's a new bacon cologne."
Alexis reached for the phone. "Let me see. I'll tell you what it smells like." Alexis also sniffed Kate's phone. "Definitely bacon, Dad." She held it out to Martha.
"Kate, too. But, I agree. Bacon."
"You knew there would be consequences for cheating, Dad." Alexis looked at Kate. "He was on your watch. You get to pick the punishment."
"My watch? I didn't even know he'd left yet."
"Still, Kiddo, if he hadn't been at breakfast with your father, he would have been with you. I say, perfect opportunity to extract your pound of flesh."
"No jot of blood, Shylock."
Castle grinned, "Concern for my wellbeing, Portia? I'm touched." Touched by an Angel—that's what that show was called. "You know the offer to spank me still stands."
"Dad!" Alexis said with laughter in her voice.
Kate reached out and slapped the back of his head. "There. Now you're 'touched.'"
"Close enough."
"Close as you're gonna get."
Alexis laughed at the two of them. Kate was so perfect for them. Gina was her dad's publisher and she doubted the woman could quote anything from her dad's books—let alone Shakespeare.
"So, what's it going to be, Kate?"
"I'd go with a shopping spree."
"Of course, you would, Mother. When don't you?"
"Dad gives great massages."
Yes, he does, Kate thought. He'd massaged her shoulders many times now and her socked feet a few times. If he knew how much that turned her on… She'd had to make an excuse to get up a couple times. Kate looked over at Castle. He was holding his large hands out to her, wiggling his fingers.
"I'm thinking something more…menial," Kate said. She smiled. "You know…my desk hasn't been dusted in a while. Could use a good polish."
"That sounds fair," Alexis said.
"I think you're going too easy on him." She turned to her son. "Next time you screw up, it's my turn. Mama needs a new nighty…something tiny and shiny."
Castle cringed.
Alexis groaned. Kate laughed outright. "Or just don't screw up again, Castle, 'cause next time, the punishment I pick is you have to take your mom shopping...for a nighty."
"I'm never eating bacon again."
In the kitchen, Kate was loading the dishwasher while Rick packed up leftovers. Alexis watched the two of them move around the kitchen together.
"Kate?" she asked. "I've been wanting to ask you something for days."
"Well, you know you can ask me anything, Lex."
"Well this is…" Alexis paused to start over. She hadn't talked this over with her dad, but she was sure he wouldn't mind. "Would you have any interest in camping with us?"
Kate whipped up to find Rick looking at her.
"Castle! You can't use your daughter against me!"
Again? Castle thought, feeling defeated "I didn't mention it to her, De-tec-tive, because I didn't want her to be disappointed when you said 'no.'"
Wait? When? He assumed I was going to say 'no' and he still asked me?
"Dad already asked you?"
"He did," Kate replied as she went around to sit beside Alexis. "It made me think of my mom." Kate tried to explain to Rick as well as Alexis.
Alexis touched Kate's arm.
"I'm sorry, Kate. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories of your mom."
"It wasn't bad—" Kate and Castle began to speak at the same time, and they both stopped at the same time. Kate looked at Rick who stood right across from her before continuing.
"It wasn't bad memories, Alexis. It just reminded me that she's not here to make memories. And I get kind of…melancholy sometimes. The truth is—and here's something you don't know about me, Rick—I have no bad memories of my mother. None." Kate looked up at Rick, knowing he knew what she meant.
"I remember my younger years just fine, but the years where I know I gave my parents hell? I mean, I even went through a phase where I wore a studded dog collar. I know this is true. There's photographic evidence—that you will never, ever see," she said to Rick with a quick smile. "But I don't really remember it. I remember other things—things I did with friends, basketball, things I read—but not my mom and not much of my dad."
"Oh, Kate." Alexis' arms were around her.
"It's not so bad, Alexis," Kate said, running her hand over the girl's hair. "Not having bad memories. Just…strange. But, I figure, if therapy and hypnotherapy didn't help, I'm not meant to have them."
Kate kind of laughed and ran a shaky hand through her own. "I really don't know what's wrong with me." She thought of the things she wouldn't even say to her father earlier, and her she was spilling her guts to Alexis and Rick, with Martha just behind them in the living room. "That was a whole load of stuff I didn't mean to say that had a whole lot of nothing to do with camping. I meant to say, the truth is—I love camping."
"So...," Alexis said, "does that mean you'll come with us?"
"Hold that thought, Alexis."
She got up and went to her laptop bag. Her response had Rick wondering. He walked around the counter to stand beside Alexis, curious about what she was doing. Kate came back and sat in the stool she'd just left. Again, Rick noticed her toes as she tucked her left foot under her leg. Kate wasn't aware of his attention on her feet, though. She'd thought about Rick a lot that afternoon. How much had Rick and Alexis done for her? And he asked her for one simple thing—to go camping, help chaperone?
As the day went on, she discovered it was something she really, really wanted to do. Well…maybe not chaperone, but it would mean she'd get to spend some extra time with two of her favorite people. And really she'd love to see Rick in a new setting, relaxed around a camp fire. She'd spent half the day fantasizing about it.
This wasn't exactly how she planned to bring it back up, with Alexis right there, but it hardly mattered. She held out a slip of paper to Rick. He recognized the "From the desk of Det. Kate Beckett" at the top and smiled. He undid Kate's neat half-fold.
I want a do-over.
Rick caught Kate's eye and raised his eyebrows, clearly asking 'Really?' Castle leaned forward from where he stood behind Alexis, far enough that a clueless Alexis was able to read the note Kate handed him.
"Detective Beckett, would you like to go camping with us?"
Kate smiled. "Yes. Yes, I would."
Alexis squealed and clapped her hands, and leaned in to hug Kate. "Yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This is gonna be so much fun!"
Kate passed Castle another slip of paper. "I took off Thursday and Friday. That's when we're going, right?"
Castle nodded, feeling a little dumbfounded that this was actually happening after the response he received earlier.
"That's a list of all the stuff I could think of that we have. Dad's checking on fishing poles and a few other things. Might have some extra sleeping bags if the kids don't have their own."
Alexis took the list from her dad. "This is great, Kate. I'm going to add this to our list. Hey, maybe you can go shopping with us for the rest of the stuff we need?"
Standing between them, Castle mouthed "Thank you." Kate smiled at him again.
"Sure, Alexis...you know, standard 'if there's no body' clause."
A thought suddenly occurred to Castle. "We tent camp. Is that okay with you?"
"I prefer a tent, actually. My grandparents had an RV, but I always wondered what the point was if you just had a scaled-down version of a house? Where will we be camping?"
"Adirondacks," Alexis answered.
"We'll work out the details later," Castle said. "Right now, I need to go, or I'm going to be late."
"Yeah, you don't need another Patterson Penalty," Martha said walking into the kitchen with her empty wine glass.
"What's a Patterson Penalty?"
"That's when James gets to write a line that the other guy has to figure out how to use in his next book," Martha explained.
"Yeah. I like Connelly's better. It's just drop a fifty in his jar."
"And what's yours, Mr. Castle?"
"Ah, you know mine, Ms. Beckett."
"Hmm. Truth or Dare," Kate answered.
"Exactamundo."
"Dad, you better scoot. Besides, we have things to do—that don't require your presence."
"Right," Castle said dropping a kiss on Alexis' cheek. Then, without thinking, he turned to his left and planted one on Kate's cheek, too. Martha wondered at how Kate seemed to know it was coming? She'd moved just slightly, almost imperceptibly, to receive Rick's kiss. She watched the two pull back, each aware of what just happened, but entirely confused.
Rick hadn't planned to kiss her. But his Jiminy Cricket that was normally there telling him "Don't do it, man! Don't do, it!" apparently packed up and went on vacation. When he pulled back he expected Kate to be glaring at him. It wasn't the same as greeting her at the door and it wasn't a joke. But instead all he saw was confusion and surprise and warmth.
Kate felt like she was losing all her composure. Part of her was screaming What the hell are you thinking? You can't kiss me! Especially not in front of Alexis and Martha! And another, louder part was screaming What the hell are you thinking? Kiss me properly! But she couldn't be thinking like that. She had things she had to straighten out. Maybe camping was not such a good idea?
"Right," Castle said. "Have fun then. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
Kate sat quietly, playing with the apple she'd picked up from the tray in from of her until she heard the door click shut.
"Are you two—?"
Of course! He leaves me here to answer questions! Kate looked from Alexis to Martha, hoping the older woman could somehow tell her how to answer a question like that, but Martha seemed just as interested in an answer as Alexis.
"No."
"But you're not…" Alexis wasn't even sure which question to ask.
Kate could only imagine how confusing this must be for Alexis. She came home Sunday to find the two of them asleep together, then learned Kate had stayed the whole weekend. And she was here tonight, going camping with them and…well, everything else. But Kate wasn't fairing much better in the clarity department, so she decided on an honest answer.
"I can't un-complicate this for you, Lex." She squeezed Alexis' hand in her own.
Martha came around the counter and wrapped her arms around Kate. "We're not asking you to, Kate. Just know were vested in your happiness as much as his." Martha squeezed a little harder and whispered in her ear. "Though I think it's one in the same."
Kate brought her other hand up to Martha's arm and leaned her head onto Martha's. These Castle-Rodgers, she thought, looking at Alexis. Could they dig in a little deeper?
Hope you are all happy and healthy. Let me know what you think so far! And thanks in advance!