STOP!
If you haven't read the Christmas chapter yet, go back! I updated early!

.

.

.

.

What's this? An early update? Why? I'll tell you why! Because today I officially hit 50k words for November, which means I am an official winner of NaNoWriMo 2017! This is a really big deal for me, so I decided to celebrate by giving you guys an early chapter. You may have a few questions!

What about the regular updates? This is a one-time thing, and I will go back to updating every Thursdag/Friday after this.
What's NaNoWriMo? National Novel Writing Month - in other words, write 50 thousand words in a month. And that's what I've done!

I'm putting in a little trigger warning here - it does get a little rough in this chapter, so please be prepared for that.

I won't take up too much more time! See you at the bottom!

Chapter 26

I may not have known anything about Christmas, but I sure knew that humans loved to celebrate New year's with lots of alcohol and fake promises of what they were going to do in the new year. I also knew that Elena was only 17, so drinking alcohol wasn't really an option, so Caroline and I sat down to talk about what we were going to do, that was going to be fun for Elena, but not too much fun. Ric eventually joined us and tried to chip in, but let's face it - Ric likes his whiskey, just like I like my bourbon, so he didn't exactly bring forth the best ideas.

In the end, we settled on not doing anything too major. We were going to have food delivered from a fancy restaurant, play board games and have a party with snacks and that sort of thing and then we would watch the big ball drop and I was hoping to start the new year between the legs of Elena.

That was the plan, until the little minx I call my girlfriend went behind my back. I had thought that Elena getting wasted at her birthday party had been a one-time thing because it was her first birthday without her parents, but as it turns out she's been drunk several other times.

So, while Ric and I were setting up for a fun, but PG13 new years eve, Elena and Caroline had gone out to get alcohol, drinking games and more alcohol. I was very surprised to see them walk in the door with several bags from liquor barn, but it didn't take me long to warm up to the idea. If Elena insisted she was fine drinking, then I honestly couldn't see the big problem. We hadn't had a chance to have drunk sex yet, so I was most definitely looking forward to that. I was already suspecting that we would have a lot of fun - unless she was the type to just pass out as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Even if she was, we could arrange for her head to not hit the pillow until after… Oh yes, I was definitely looking forward to tonight.

The evening was spent eating way too much food, way too many snacks (although Elena was adorable, eating so much food, when she was so little) and drinking a little too much alcohol. We had wine for dinner and everybody dug in maybe a little too freely and after that, we got the drinking games out and by 11.50pm, we were all wasted. Ric was moping in the corner, because everyone except for him had someone to kiss when the clock struck midnight and I was a little too fascinated with Elena's ass to care about anything else in the world.

Did I mention she was sitting in my lap?

She had been teasing me for hours and my erection was damn near ready to burst through the very uncomfortable zipper in my pants, but she insisted on wanting to watch the big ball drop and kiss me when it turned midnight. In my head, I had formulated a master plan to whisk her away almost right after and do naughty things to her all night - after that treatment, she couldn't expect me to keep it in my pants for much longer. I mean, she knew how irresistible I thought she was, so she had to know exactly what she was getting herself into. And as I was thinking about it, I realized that she was probably doing this on purpose, which only turned me on even more. She had been somewhat shy about sex and PDA outside the bedroom, but here she was, very clearly grinding her ass down on my groin and kissing me all the time, even though Ric, Caroline and Stefan were here. None of them seemed to mind much, since they were too busy with watching the live report from New York, but I would also have ripped their heads off, had they said anything to her.

This was about more than just the fact that I loved how her perfect ass fit in with my lap, it was about her confidence as well. Sure, she had strode up to me and used me to show all her classmates who she was dating, but aside from that, she rarely showed any PDA when other people were around and she always seemed to blush at the mentioning of sex. So, whether or not she was too drunk to care, this was a step in the right direction, in my opinion.

I looked around to see the others pretty busy with the tv and then made my decision. I sneakily started kissing her throat and biting her earlobe, pressing my groin up against her. I had expected her to protest and I had expected her to at least be shocked, but she leaned in further against me, grinding right back against me, like there was no tomorrow.

I could smell how wet her panties were and I could see the lust in her eyes, which were no longer focused on the TV, but on me. To my great surprise, she actually managed to stay quiet, even though I had expected her to protest. When you're in a room full of vampires, you gotta remember they can hear everything, even the small sexy-talk, whispered underneath her breath.

As though it was in the far distance, I heard the countdown begin and I saw her eyes grow large, which must mean that she had heard it too.

10, 9, 8, 7…

She leaned down and bit my earlobe.

6, 5, 4…

Her tongue swirled out and played with my ear, teasing me.

3, 2…

She moved away from my ear, and looked me straight into the eyes.

1.

Her lips were on mine, fast, hard and wanting and I couldn't help but reply. Stefan and Caroline were busy making out, in the corner of my eye and Ric was taking a very large swig from the bottle of bourbon.

I very simply couldn't wait any longer. I had to have her, I had to be between her legs and feel her heat against me. So, instead of staying down here or even staying long enough to say goodnight, I held Elena tightly in my arms and sped up to our room, where I threw her down on the bed and started pulling her pants off.

It took her a little while to figure out what had happened, but as soon as she did, she was pulling her own shirt off and pulling me closer to her, wanting me as much as I did her. I connected my lips to her as she reached down to unbuckle my belt and take my jeans off. I couldn't hold the groan back, when instead of pushing my jeans off completely, she wrapped her hand around my dick and started playing with it eagerly.

"I need you," I growled and pulled her panties down, while biting down on her lip, sucking blood from it and instantly feeling my erection grow, even though I hadn't thought it possible.

I didn't even need to check if she was wet, because the smell of her arousal had been in my nose for a while now, so instead I grabbed her wrist, connected it with the other in one hand and held it down on the bed. Then I let her see me in my full vampire face, before I thrust into her, hard and quick.

She moaned, trying to pull her hands out from my grip, but I wasn't having it. I needed to be in control, to hold her down and take her, make her mine in the only way I knew how to, but something stopped me.

There were tears streaming down her cheeks and she was sobbing.

"Elena? Baby, what's wrong?" I pulled out of her immediately and let go of her wrists, cursing myself for not noticing something was up sooner.

She shook her head and turned to the side, curling up in a small ball and I felt like my heart was breaking. For once, I was in doubt about whether that was my own emotion or Elena's.

"If you think I'm gonna let you go to bed like this, you're wrong," I said, carefully turning her over so she was facing me, instead of having her back turned. I wanted to kill myself, when I saw her red eyes and more tears coming from them. I may not have known what I had done wrong, but I knew I did something.

"Please, just… talk to me, baby, tell me why you're crying," I said, in the most caring voice I had. She sniffled a bit and looked at me with the most vulnerable eyes I've ever seen.

"Do you really love me?" she asked.

I was completely taken aback from that question. I thought she knew how much she meant to me. I mean, I had given her that ring and I had tried to tell her how much I loved her, as often as I could. I wasn't sure how she could doubt it after all of that, but I felt bad because she did.

"Of course, I love you, Elena… remember the ring?" I asked, holding her hand with the blue stone on it. She looked down at it for a little bit and a sad smile appeared on her lips. I was confused, but most of all I could feel her hurt, even though I wasn't entirely sure why.

"I… yes, but…" she said, and another tear fell down her cheek. I reached out on instinct and wiped it away gently with my thumb.

"Where is this coming from, babe? You can tell me," I said, caressing her soft cheek. She sighed and sniffled again, before she looked up at me.

"Why don't you ever make love to me?"

I felt like my heart skipped a beat and my brain started working on overpower, because that was the one question I didn't know how to answer. I mean, sure, I could tell her all about Katherine and how she had used me, abused the fact that I was so in love with her and it broke my heart.

But I knew that would bring a lot of questions with it, and I wasn't sure if I felt like I could answer them all.

"I… Elena, that's a really complicated question to answer," I said quietly, realizing that this was probably not the answer she wanted.

"Damon, if you don't like me anymore, you can just tell me," she said, more tears falling down her cheeks.

"I love you, Elena, and I'll repeat it a million times if I have to. You are the most important thing in my entire life and I wouldn't know what to do without you… but… it's been a very long time since I've made love to anybody and I got hurt, okay?" I said, hating to admit it. I had never talked to anybody about Katherine, not even Ric and I wasn't sure if I was ready to, even though I hated to admit it.

"You… you got hurt?" she asked, and sat up in bed, taking her panties properly off and then putting her full attention to me. I sighed, knowing there was no way around this conversation now, and I would just have to tell her a condensed, but still true version of the story. I would just have to leave the Singer part out of it.

"I… you have to understand, that the human me was very different to the man you know today… I was… well, more emotional I guess. I was foolish enough to believe the best in people. And I got hurt, by someone I thought was going to choose me," I said, feeling my jaw tighten at the rusty memories of my human life. I wish I could say that I had forgotten about it. That the distant memory of my father's beatings and Katherine's confusion was so vague that I didn't remember the details, but sadly, that wasn't the way it worked.

"But… who hurt you?" she said, as though it was a totally foreign concept. I sat up like her, against the headboard of the bed and realized that I probably wouldn't be able to get around this conversation.

"Physically? My father. Almost every day. Feelings wise? A girl called Katherine," I said, remembering her very clearly in my mind. Elena looked very interested, but she also looked like she had no idea what question to ask first. I decided I should probably just tell her the way it was.

"My father hated me, well, despised me, ever since I was born. I was an adventurous child and I liked to explore, which meant I often returned with dirty knees, I was late for mass and if I finally managed to show up on time, I would run off to explore the church," I said, remembering the beating I had gotten when it had taken my parents almost an hour to find me, after I had been trying to find the secret door to the catacombs underneath the church, "my mother tried to keep me in check, but it was difficult. The women didn't have a lot to say in the family and even though she tried to stand up to my father, he wouldn't hear it. She took a lot of beatings for me over the years, something I have never forgiven myself for."

Hatred ran through my body, as I recalled sneaking out of my room, to see my father hit my mother with his belt, yelling at her, telling her to stay in her place.

"Stefan came along when I was 7 and I think my father saw him as a new opportunity of having a perfect son. He didn't even care that my mother giving birth again seemed to weaken her. While my father spent all the time he could with his new miracle child, I stayed by mother's side, watching her grow ill. She died 3 years later. Smallpox," I said, looking away from Elena, who was watching me quietly, listening to my story. I had never seen her as quiet as this before, but I knew I had her full attention.

"From then on, my father's hatred only got worse. As Stefan grew up, and proved to be the wonder child he had hoped for, the beatings I took got harder and I felt like less and less part of the family… and then Katherine came into the picture. She was young. She had been turned at the age of 18, but she acted even younger than that. Her story was tragic - she had simply been bit by a hungry vampire, who tried to make up for his mistake by giving her his blood, but it had been too late. He never came back and she was on her own. It took a toll on her mental health, and she seemed to be stuck in the mindset of a young girl, who had been left on her own for too long… and I fell for her," I said, remembering the first day I had seen her in the town square. Her eyes had been on Stefan, who was now 10 years old, but I didn't care. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and I just wanted to know her," I said, remembering the heat from that day. I remembered all the noises around us and how angry I had felt whenever somebody stepped between us, so I couldn't see her.

"We became friends. She often came to visit us and my father seemed to adore her, so for once, he didn't disapprove of me the way he had used to. Everything seemed perfect. A year later, she told me her secret. That she was a vampire. I wasn't scared, I just wanted to protect her. She had this little girl vibe over her, that instantly made me want take her in and made sure nobody ever harmed her. Even when I knew she was capable of protecting herself, I still felt like she was an innocent teenager, who needed my help," I said bitterly. In some ways, she had very much needed my help, but she never took it when it matters.

"I fell for her and I thought she fell for me as well. Until Stefan got older. She chose him," I said, not wanting to tell her the details of the story. First of all, there were too many and I knew that she was still drunk and tired. I could tell by the way her heartbeat was slowing down and her eyes were getting more saggy - yet, she still seemed like this was the most interesting thing she had ever heard.

"She chose Stefan?! But he was only a kid when you met!" Elena said, outraged. I nodded. Stefan had only been 10 years old when they met for the first time, but when he was 16, she chose him over me.

"He was… and maybe that was why he never loved her," I said. Elena's mouth fell open.

"You're saying that she dumped you for him… even though he didn't want her?" she asked, as though it was the most unbelievable story on earth.

"Yup… it hurt. A lot," I said, wanting nothing more than to pull her close and cuddle her all night long. Talking about Katherine didn't exactly put me in a good mood.

"But she kept coming back to me. She was like a confused teenager. One night, she was begging Stefan to give her a chance, telling him how good she could be for him… the next she sneaked into my room at night, had sex with me and then spent half an hour crying, asking me what I thought she should do," I said, remembering those long nights. I had been so happy every time I had seen her in my room. I had thought that this would be the night she would tell me, she chose me. That she gave up on Stefan. But that night never came. Instead, we had amazing sex, and then she cried. I hated seeing females cry and having Elena turn on me like that, only reminded me too much of it.

"She did what?" Elena said, anger now visible on her face. I nodded and looked down at the ring on her finger. Elena loved me. She had just been worried. There was no need to have her remind me of Katherine.

"She was confused. I should have known that her confusion and childish behavior would end up in something bad. Stefan had gotten a wife and he had moved out from our father's home and seemed to do great. He was happy with her. Katherine asked me about her, one night. She hadn't been crying that night, which I saw as a good sign. Maybe she had realized that Stefan didn't want her, so she was free to choose me. I told her about them and their cottage and then she left. I knew something was wrong, the minute she was out the window. I got dressed, went to their cottage, but I was too late. When I got there, Stefan's wife was dead on the floor, her stomach ripped apart and Stefan was livid. Katherine had told him that I had asked her to kill the wife. The wife who had also been pregnant. Stefan beat me and beat me and I didn't want to resist. I felt like it was my fault. So, I let him. And it killed me," I said, remembering the pain. I had deserved it. I shouldn't have told Katherine where they were.

Elena didn't have anything to say to that. In fact, she was so quiet I was afraid something was wrong, but as I looked up at her face, she jumped into my lap and hugged me tight.

"Continue… I just need to hold you," she whispered and I felt tears pressing behind my eyelids, so I held her close and tightened my jaw for a while, trying to get back on track.

"When… when I woke up, it was too late. Katherine had staked herself and Stefan had left a note on the table. Katherine had turned him. The note said that he never wanted to see me again. Ever. And on top of that note was my daylight ring. Apparently Katherine had them made for us, the first day she saw us," I said. Elena took my hand into hers and looked at my ring. She then proceeded to bend down and kiss the ring, then my palm and my wrist. She looked up at me then and kissed me so softly, that I could barely feel her lips, yet all the emotion translated. I now had to fight hard to keep the tears back.

"I choose you, Damon. And I will always choose you. No matter what."

I know this is a pretty short chapter, but there is so much information in it and it felt right to leave it off there. I promise you'll get longer chapters along the way. Sooo... now you know a bit about Katherine's history as well. As I've said from the beginning this is not canon so it won't follow the TVD storyline at all.

I hope you enjoyed it and I will see you all on Thursday!