So here it comes...the next chapter. It is LONG! So take your time. I hope you enjoy it!
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Ben and Sam looked at each other and both of them immediately blushed and looked away again. Sam did not answer Phoebe's question and Macy could tell that she felt kind of unsure, so the aunt addressed Phoebe first, "So Phoebe. Why did you run away?"
Phoebe looked at her aunt, "I asked her a question first.", pointing at Sam.
Macy laughed at Phoebe's behavior, "I don't really care pumpkin."
"Like I said before. I don't want to live with her and there are some new bullies at my school that I don't want to meet again and I want to live with you."
"Like you ever let bullies take you down.", Ben laughed hard and thought about the young rebellious Phoebe. Always trying to defend others and always getting herself into danger.
"Why are you here honey?", Macy addressed Sam when she realized that her niece was too stubborn at the moment and squeezed her hand softly. She could tell that this young woman was a nice one and that Phoebe's hatred towards her was coming out of pure jealousy. Sam immediately liked Macy, she was very polite to her and her smile was honest.
"Um…I saw Phoebe running away and well, I saw how bruised she was and worried…", Jim interrupted Sam and looked at his young niece.
"Phoebe. You go back living with them. She's nice.", sometimes Jim could not understand his niece's behavior. Her stubbornness was driving him crazy and he remembered how many fights they had had in the past.
Phoebe protested immediately, "I do not. You cannot tell me what to do.", Sam was amazed that Phoebe talked back to her uncle who had just hit her. If she were in her position she would shut up. But then Sam guessed that it was not the first time that Phoebe was in such a position.
"You cannot stay with us. How often do I have to tell you this? I promised your dad to take you into a safe home. I don't want you to end like Rebecca.", her uncle said furiously but yet trying to stay calm. Sam looked confused when he said the name and thought about her mother for a moment.
Phoebe on the other hand jumped up "Stop saying her name.", she was starting to cry and wanted to hit her uncle but her cousin took her on his lap and hugged her tight, so that she could not move.
"Shh…calm down Phoebe. Stop yelling at her, dad.", he whispered and could see the confusion on Sam's face.
"I miss her. I miss her so much. I wanna stay please…let me stay. Please. I'll be good. I promise. I'll be good.", Phoebe pleaded over and over again.
All of them had tears in their eyes and Macy went through Sam's hair when she saw the confusion in her eyes, "Do you want to stay the night honey?", Sam did not know what to say but nodded confused. What the hell was happening?
It was getting late and she knew that she would not find the way back home and although she was very frightened, she still wanted to know more about Phoebe. It was a risk, but she was willing to take that risk.
Immediately Phoebe jumped up from her cousin's lap and protested hard, "Nooo…I don't want her to stay with us."
"Is this how you treat a friend? We have taught you better.", Macy madly looked down at her niece and Phoebe complained further, "she is not my friend. I don't want her to stay. Go away.", she addressed Sam furiously.
Sam was speechless and was glad that Ben rolled his eyes at Phoebe and that Phoebe's aunt protected her, "Phoebe. Shut up. This young girl followed you because she was worried. You don't treat anyone the way you do when they care for you.", all of the people were looking at Macy and Phoebe at the moment, who were yelling at each other.
"I did not ask her to come. I do not want her. I want Becca not her …", Phoebe suddenly hit her aunt into the stomach over and over again. Her aunt just took her into her arms and sat down on a chair with Phoebe, while Phoebe cried heavily in her arms and could not get free of her aunt's grip.
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One could hear Macy singing to Phoebe and calming her down by just holding her tight.
"We all do honey. We all do.", she whispered and kissed her little niece's forehead and then looked down at her. Phoebe looked so small and was still crying. Her lip was trembling so much. Her aunt took Phoebe's hands and put it on her heart, so that Phoebe could feel the heartbeat, "Do you feel this heartbeat?"
Phoebe nodded and felt her own heartbeat.
"She is in there pumpkin. She is in your heart, in your brain and in every cell of your body. She will never go away because you remember her and she will always be there for you."
Phoebe nodded but then answered in a small voice, "But I want to see her and she should be with us now."
"Close your eyes.", Macy said calmly and Phoebe waited a second but then did as she was told.
"Now. Can you see her?"
Phoebe started sobbing but nodded while the tears still came out of her closed eyes.
"She is not gone pumpkin. You keep her alive.", she went through Phoebe's hair and held her tight. Aunt Macy missed Rebecca as well but she knew that it was harder for Phoebe.
After some minutes Macy looked down at Phoebe and asked softly "Do you think that you could try to be nice to Sam? At least for today?"
Phoebe stiffened up but then whispered a small, "Yes."
"She seems to care for you Phoebe. Nothing that had happened was your fault. We all know that. You have to start believing this too."
Phoebe started crying again, "But…but maybe she would live if I…" Macy interrupted her and squeezed her tight.
"Get those thoughts out of your head Phoebe. It was not your fault. Do you know what Rebecca would want you to be right now?"
Phoebe locked up at her and did not say anything.
"Of course you do. Your brains were like matched."Macy smiled and remembered the two of them together, "If it was the other way around, what would you want Rebecca to be?"
Phoebe hated that her aunt was so wise; although she was not an educated woman because she never had the chance to get educated, she was very intelligent and wise and had always helped Phoebe.
"Happy.", Phoebe whispered and closed her eyes again. "But…"
"No buts. Now try apologizing to Sam."
Phoebe rolled her eyes and looked over to Sam, who was talking with her cousin, "Oooookay."
"I am glad I can still talk sense into your confused little head.", Macy kissed Phoebe's cheek and Phoebe smiled a little.
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"Feel at home. Take whatever you need.", Jim told Sam when he had to go out for a second. After what seemed like hours Phoebe was walking over to Sam without looking up. Her aunt had her hands on her shoulders and kind of pushed her a bit forward towards Sam. Sam just looked at Phoebe who still looked at the ground and then started talking.
"Um…I am sorry Sam that I treated you…so…so…well not so nice. You can stay the night and feel like home.", Phoebe looked up at her aunt who nodded but then added "but after that I want you gone."
Both of them, Sam and Macy had to laugh at this comment, "I am sorry too Phoebe. Like I said before, I did not mean anything of this to happen to you. Thanks for your apology."
Phoebe looked into Sam's eyes and smiled softly and then took out her hand, "No enemies any more."
Sam immediately shook her hand and smiled "No enemies any more."
"I am proud of you two.", Macy smiled "so, you must be starving. How about burgers?"
Phoebe and Sam nodded when suddenly her uncle Jim came into the apartment and smiled at Phoebe, "Got a surprise for you pumpkin."
Phoebe jumped up. She always loved his uncle's surprises. Suddenly seven kids were running into the living room and hugging Phoebe so that she fell to the floor.
Sam looked surprised at the sweet scene. These boys and girls laughed loudly and Phoebe was laughing as well.
"Oh no Jim. Not her little gang again.", Macy laughed when the kids started talking about everything that had happened lately. The kids' parents came into the room as well and all of them greeted Sam very nicely.
Ben whispered to her "Want to escape this too?"
Sam was unsure at first but when he blushed and stuttered "Um…I meant just into the next room. It can get very loud now with all of them.", she nodded.
She looked at Phoebe again who was surrounded by kids in her own age and suddenly Sam felt way much older.
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"Yeah and I have this big room and their friends even have a pool and I can swim now."
"Cooool. Is it hard?"
"No, you just have to do this.", Phoebe lay down on the floor, totally forgetting her bruises and showed them all.
"So how are you handling being the boss now?", Phoebe took her arm around a bigger boy.
"Well, well. I try my best to replace you boss.", he smiled at her and all of them sat down on the floor.
"Tell me, how are the Heatherway kids? Still getting on our nerves?", Phoebe asked curiously. She had really missed all her friends.
"Boy. They are getting worse every day. They kicked the shit out of George last time.", one girl took her arm around George who rolled his eyes and showed his colored cast.
"Ouch.", Phoebe answered and made a fist. "Assholes." One man slapped Phoebe playfully on the head.
"I thought you were living in a good area now but like I see you still got that cursing tongue."
"Of course I do. I am not called cursing IQ without no reason Jeff."
"We missed ya cursing IQ.", another girl said and Phoebe nodded happily forgetting all her pain for a moment.
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Sam and Ben were listening to Phoebe's talking and laughing.
"Cursing IQ?", Sam asked Ben and he nodded.
"Yep. Those little kids give each other names."
Sam looked at him and then smirked "What was your name?"
"Ohhh. You don't wanna know."
"Sure. I do.", she emphasized.
"Well, you are sitting on the bed with Evil Kick."
"Evil kick?", Sam burst out into laughing and Ben slapped her playfully and blushed in embarrassment.
"Well, nobody messes with my evil kick.", he laughed as well.
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A little later Sam, Ben and Phoebe were in one room and talking about everything, "So, you were a foster kid too?", Ben asked Sam and Sam nodded.
Phoebe looked in every cupboard to find something, "It's under the bed.", Ben finally said and Phoebe smiled when she looked at the old teddy bear that belonged to Rebecca.
"Do you want a shot too?", Ben asked Sam and Phoebe rolled her eyes.
"She is not into alcohol.", Sam rolled her eyes and took the shot while Phoebe looked shocked at her. Suddenly the three of them turned their attention to the door when they heard yelling coming from the other room.
"I heard Bill's daughter is back in town?", a man said laughing. Jim knew that it had not been a good idea to get all his friends over but he really wanted to make Phoebe happy. Phoebe could hear her uncle laughing back nervously.
"Nonsense. I would know if my niece was in town."
"Where is she Jim? Is she here?", the man yelled.
Ben immediately grabbed Phoebe at her shirt and pulled her to a door behind her closet and almost threw her into it. She banged her head on the ground but managed not to say anything, she knew she must not. Sam looked confused and shocked at him when he sat down on the bed again and the door opened promptly and some men looked through the room. They did not look nice at all.
"Yo Ben. Nice chick there.", Ben took his arm around Sam protectively and faked a smile "Only the best for me.", Sam shivered a bit at his evil laugh and because this man probably had a gun too.
But finally he went outside when he could not find a sign of Phoebe, "If you're lying…No Bill to save you any more.", the man said and went outside again.
Macy and Jim immediately went to Ben and Sam to know whether Phoebe was safe. They took her out of the cupboard again and Macy held her so tight that her bruises hurt again.
"Owww…", Phoebe winced in pain.
"It was so dumb of you to come back Phoebe."
"But…"
"No buts. You have to leave tomorrow…"
"But. I don't want to. I could take a gun. I can protect myself. I can…"
"This is not a game Phoebe."
"I know but…"
"Phoebe. Stop arguing. You have to leave. We will take you out of town tomorrow morning."
Ben was still having his arm around Sam and it looked like he wanted to protect her.
Of course Sam did not understand anything that happened. She could only tell that Phoebe was in danger and that they had to leave this place by tomorrow.
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While Phoebe was in another room with her uncle and aunt, Ben and Sam talked to each other's.
"So, is her sister nice to her?", Ben asked concerned. Ben was a very beautiful young man. His hair was a bit longer and covered his forehead. Although he had dark hair like Phoebe, his eyes were blue and shimmering. Sam could feel that he really cared for his cousin and nodded.
"Yeah. She is amazing. But Phoebe does not really want to live with me.", Sam said honestly and Ben laughed.
"Don't worry. That's our Phoebe. She hates changes, although her life seems to change every minute.", Ben smiled but nevertheless Sam could feel his worry, "So they don't hurt her or scream at her or anything like this?", he was still a bit concerned.
"No, really. They are great. You should see them one day. When I came back Phoebe decided to live with some friends of them and they missed her so much.", Sam laughed at the thought how Brooke and Julian had called Phoebe every second.
"And are they nice to you too?" Sam was shocked by the question but nodded and smiled.
"Of course they are."
"That sounds great. So my cousin is pretty mean to ya?", he laughed and took a beer in his hands and gave Sam one too.
"Well, not the nicest person I've met.", Sam laughed back remembering how they had first met.
"Don't let her get you down. She surely knows how to do that.", Ben jumped on the bed again and took one hand on Sam's shoulder.
"Don't worry. I can handle her."
"That's good to know.", Ben took a sip and then lay down on the bed. Sam did the same and both of them looked at the ceiling without saying anything for a while.
"I can tell you that she'll love ya. She just needs some time. She has lost a lot in her short life, especially the one person she trusted and loved the most."
Sam did not want to be rude and ask about that person but asked a different question, "Um…can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah sure.", Ben said honestly and looked into Sam's eyes.
"If Phoebe comes back with me, can she come visit you all? I mean you are her family too and I can tell that she loves you and misses you and all her friends. It's different with me. I don't have that support, so I don't really miss anyone but I think it would be hard for Phoebe to just forget you.", Ben smiled at Sam. He could really sense that Sam was a good person and cared for Phoebe.
"You do really care for her. Thank you.", he took Sam's hand for a moment and squeezed it, "Have you looked around Sam? It's not a safe place for a kid. Especially not for Phoebe. Well, I think she should not come back. Coming back now was a mistake…", he wanted to talk further but then Phoebe stormed into the room. She stopped her running immediately when she saw her cousin and Sam both on the bed and looked confused at them. She could sense that they started to like each other.
"C'mon, it's shaking time.", Phoebe laughed and ran back to her uncle, smiled happily and jumped into his arm. They started the loud music and Ben blushed when all of his family members started dancing and singing to it.
"Oh god.", he hid his face but Sam laughed out loud "You are a crazy family."
"C'mon cousin. Dance with me.", Phoebe smiled and took his hand. She looked at Sam and a small smile appeared, "I don't like you. But dance with us."
Sam rolled her eyes and when Ben took her hand and danced with her, every worry was gone for a moment and she felt safe.
She looked at Phoebe who smiled happily in her uncle's arms and squeezed his cheek with her small hands laughing loud. This girl was like a mystery for her. So much love and power in it and yet having so many dark secrets too.
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After some minutes Ben, Sam and Phoebe were lying on the bed and laughing.
"You are a weird family.", Sam said to Ben while lying in his arms. Somehow they felt connected and it was not weird to be so close to each other.
"Yeah. We are.", Ben laughed and tickled Sam a bit.
"But you are too. Coming after my cousin. Getting into danger."
"She is an idiot Ben.", Phoebe laughed and received a soft slap from Ben in the face. "Heeey.", she protested and slapped him back.
"So, I let you sleep now.", Ben went out of the room and closed the door while Phoebe jumped onto the big bed. Sam stood a bit unsure in the room.
"I don't have a disease you know.", Phoebe looked at Sam who then jumped onto the bed too and went under the blanket with Phoebe. It was weird for both of them.
"Your family is nice.", although Sam had been shocked in the beginning when her uncle had hit Phoebe, now she was amazed by the love they all shared and she got a bit jealous, which made Phoebe laugh out loud.
"Don't get jealous. What's the use of a family when you know you cannot see them any more?"
Sam looked at Phoebe who faked a smile. She could tell that Phoebe was having troubles leaving them behind.
"Do you know your family?", Phoebe asked curiously and Sam nodded.
"Yeah. I do. As you may know I lived with my mother for a while. She had given me away when I was born and now she gave me away again. But I don't know my father and it seems like I don't have any other family members." Phoebe somehow felt pity with Sam.
"Well, you do have Brooke and Julian.", Phoebe said honestly with a soft smile.
Sam looked shocked at Phoebe. Had she misheard her or was this sentence really coming out of Phoebe's mouth?
"Well, you do too.", Phoebe turned around and looked at the ceiling and did not answer to that statement.
"Can I ask you a question?", Sam asked politely and Phoebe turned around to look at her.
"Depends on the question.", she smiled but then nodded.
Sam was happy that she could talk to Phoebe without screaming at each other, "Why didn't you tell your sister and Julian that you have a family here?"
Phoebe breathed deeply, "I don't really know. I mean look around. It's totally different than back in Tree Hill and I thought that I would just forget them if I stopped talking about them. But I guess you never forget the people you love, right?"
Phoebe looked at Sam like she was waiting for an answer, "No, never. But that's a good thing. Because that tells you that somewhere out there are people who love or loved you as well. Umm…if I stay with Brooke and Julian will you really never come back to them?"
Phoebe hesitated a moment but then shrugged her shoulders, "I don't really know what I am going to do next. I cannot live here. I cannot live there. Welcome to my life", she joked but in reality she felt very alone and sad.
"Why?"
"Well, because sometimes it's better not having any one around you that loves you because then you can't loose anyone."
Sam burst out into laughing and shocked Phoebe, "Sorry, sorry, I don't mean to laugh at you but you look like a little kid, yet you sometimes talk like an old woman and then you act like a baby. It's nonsense that it's easier without loved ones around you."
"Yeah. Says who?", Phoebe was getting defensive.
"Me. I grew up without having any one who loved me. I went from foster home to foster home and they did not really care for me but for the money they got for me. The first time I really felt loved was with Brooke and Julian. And trust me it was not easy. I was not easy and I still wonder why they took me in or even cared. I know it's not easy letting someone in and I can tell that your life has not been easy at all or still isn't. But pushing away the people you love and who love you won't make it easier but worse.
I don' really want to be rude Phoebe. But have you thought about it that it's not fair to them either, running away like this and just vanishing?"
Phoebe did not know what to answer. Of course she had thought about it but she just wished that they would forget her.
"Look pumpkin.", Sam stopped when she realized that she had just called Phoebe with this name like everybody else had done the whole day.
"Ah. I wish they would stop calling me pumpkin."
"Why do they call you like this?"
"When I was little I put my head into a pumpkin on Halloween and couldn't get it out any more and panicked, until I ran against a wall and fell backwards breaking the pumpkin.", Phoebe rolled her eyes and remembered how everyone had laughed at her and how mad she had been.
Sam burst out into laughing, "I wish I could have seen this. Anyways. I hope you will get sense into your head and come back to Brooke and Julian. But let's sleep, it's really late.", Sam could tell that Phoebe was having trouble staying awake.
Suddenly Sam's phone vibrated and she saw that Brooke and Julian had been calling her over and over again. Of course they did.
"Shit.", Sam whispered and Phoebe turned around to know what happened.
"It's Brooke and Julian. What am I supposed to tell them?"
"The truth, that you are an idiot and followed me to an unsafe place.", Sam looked shocked at Phoebe who burst out into laughing.
"A joke. That was a joke.", Sam rolled her eyes and then took the phone.
"Umm…hello."
"Sam. Where the hell are you? Are you okay?", Brooke cried into the phone.
"Yes, I am. Sorry that I did not call…I was kind of…forgetting it.", Sam looked at Phoebe for help.
"Sam. Where are you? You come back home right now.", Brooke screamed into the phone and then started crying.
"She is with me.", Sam said and Phoebe jumped up and slapped Sam's head but not too hard. What was wrong with this girl besides her? Phoebe rolled her eyes and took the blanket over her head.
"What? I don't understand it Sam. Where are you two?"
"Um…we are safe. We'll be back tomorrow. Promised Brooke. And then you can yell at us. Just trust us, okay."
"No Sam. You tell me right now where you two are."
"Brooke. It's not really my place to tell."
"Give her the phone." Brooke was confused and hurt.
Why were Sam and Phoebe together? Where were there? What happened?
Sam gave the phone to Phoebe under the blanket but Phoebe shook her head and looked a little frightened, "No, I don't wanna talk to her.", she whispered to Sam.
Both of them heard Brooke screaming into the phone, "You take the phone Phoebe. Right now."
Sam pushed the phone into Phoebe's hands and Phoebe looked scared at it and it took a moment until she was able to say anything, "Hello.", she finally whispered and was afraid of Brooke's reaction but all she got was Brooke's crying. She had not expected that and she started feeling very guilty and actually had to suppress her own tears. She realized that her choice hurt Brooke badly and she did not want to hurt anyone.
"You are no disappointment Phoebe.", Brooke sobbed and then Julian took the phone and for the first time Phoebe heard him yelling at her.
"Phoebe. I don't know why you two aren't at home or where you are but you come back from wherever you are and tell us every detail what happened. Do you understand me?", Phoebe was shocked to hear Julian so mad.
"Yeah, but…um…we are kind of far away."
"What do you mean with far away?"
"Um…we come back tomorrow, okay?", Phoebe knew that they would never agree with this but she had to try it.
"No, it is not okay Phoebe. Where are you? We will come and get you.", Julian was mad and sad at the same time.
"I…I…cannot tell you.", Phoebe said back and then Julian started yelling again and out of reaction Phoebe shut down the phone and looked shocked at it.
"You did not just shut down the phone?", Sam laughed at Phoebe's shocking face.
"I did…oh god Sam. I did.", Phoebe said panicked when Sam took the phone again when it started to ring again.
"No…we…what…noo…we promise…okay….but…Julian…I…", Sam shut down the phone too and looked at Phoebe, "We will be grounded forever."
They did not answer any phone calls again and felt very guilty, "You have to give me a huge present for this, because I am only in this trouble because of you.", Sam pointed at Phoebe but smiled.
Phoebe did not know what to say. She did not even intend to go back to Tree Hill yet she was afraid to get grounded. Finally they closed their eyes but after some minutes she spoke again.
"Sam?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't you ever just want to run away from your life?"
"Oh trust me. I wanted it in the past and sometimes still want but then I realize that it's impossible. So I try making the best by staying." A few minutes later both of them were asleep in the bed. Peacefully.
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The next morning Macy shook Phoebe awake, "It's time to go Phoebe."
Phoebe nodded sadly and stood up while Sam was already dressed and talking to Ben.
After Phoebe had hugged everyone, a man came into the apartment and went through her hair, "Hey Phoebes. Nice to see you.", Phoebe smiled at him and then ran back into her family's arms and cried.
"I miss you. I don't want to be alone again. I don't want to go. I don't want to."
"You're not alone Phoebe.", Macy looked at Sam and Phoebe followed her look but did not say anything.
"C'mon Sammy. Don't we get a hug too?", Macy asked and Sam gladly hugged them all.
"Umm…thanks for everything.", she said and Jim nodded.
"If you have any problems let us know.", Sam shivered when she saw his gun but then smiled and nodded "Umm…okay."
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Ben went with them for a while and held his cousin's hand tight the whole time.
The big man always looked from right to the left as if he was looking for any danger.
"It was nice meeting you Sam.", Ben whispered into Sam's ear, which made her blush immediately and look at him.
"Yeah. You too.", Sam answered back and looked up into his beautiful blue eyes. Phoebe meanwhile rolled her eyes when Ben and Sam started holding hands as well.
"Okay. This is it. The car will drive you back.", the strong man said and then pulled Phoebe into a hug.
"We do miss you kiddo. Be safe.", he said and Sam was surprised that a big man like that could sound so soft.
"Yeah. Yeah. Always." Phoebe hugged Ben and went into the car without looking back. Sam and Ben stood a bit unsure in front of each other but then hugged tightly, "Thanks for taking care of my cousin and um…hope to see you one day again.", he kissed her on the cheek and Sam smiled and went into the car totally confused.
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The drive home took a while and Phoebe just looked out of the window without saying a word. Sam could see that Phoebe was holding back her tears, "I am glad you decided to come back home.", Sam did not stop talking.
"Look. It was very stupid to follow me. Don't think that I like you now. I am not going home. I don't even have a home. Let me tell you one thing. It is safer to stay out of my life." Phoebe looked out of the window again.
Sam was taken back by Phoebe's fury; she had thought that they were finally warming up and had stopped bitching at each other. Obviously not.
Sam nodded and screamed when Phoebe suddenly took out a gun and held it at the driver's head, "Where the fuck are you driving us? It's…the wrong way.", she shivered hard and bit on her lip.
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Gosh. Do you know the feeling when you start doing something and in the beginning you really like it (painting, writing...) but after looking at it again and again you are really disappointed? Well, that's my case right now. I've written so many new chapters to this story because I could not get my mind off it and the moment I uploaded it, I thought "Hmm...maybe she could have had a different past...should I even write this much...where does the story end...?". Well anyways, I appreciate every comment. Even if it's a bad one and you tell me that you did not like it at all. Maybe you'll help me this way with different ideas and a better end.
THANK U!