Chapter 5

Heartbreak

"Ma'am, we've received word from the surface that the refinery has been destroyed and General Marek's troops are making a successful push. We should have control of the beach within the hour."

"Thank you, Swift. Prepare to send word to Master Yoda for reinforcements," Ahsoka ordered.

"Yes, Ma'am. General Marek wishes to speak with you, if you could make your way to the comm room. Force knows how long he has to talk before he has to make the final push."

Ahsoka nodded and made her way to the room, where Kento's holographic form flickered due to interference caused by the battle. "Hello, Master Marek," the Togruta said, bowing in respect.

"Hello, Ahsoka," Kento replied, his voice sounding hurried. "We're making our push. With that refinery blown, we have just one command post to take before the beachfront can be claimed for the Republic. Tell Master Yoda that his men can come in from behind when you contact him."

"Yes, Master." She smiled. "Give Carter a high five for me. For a job well done."

"Well, that was another thing I wanted to talk to you about," Kento said solemnly.

Ahsoka's heart sank at the gloomy tone of Kento's voice. "What's wrong?" she asked, hysteria creeping into her voice. "What happened to him?"

"Ahsoka, we-"

"Did he get shot? Blown up? What happened?"

"We don't know!" he exclaimed.

"How can you not know?" Ahsoka exclaimed. Unshed tears stung her eyes. "He's your Padawan, Kento! You need to know!"

"You don't think I want to? Carter's more than my Padawan, Ahsoka! He's like my son!" The Master took a breath. "We lost contact with him. We don't know if he escaped before the blast. Two of his squadmates survived, but they say he ordered them to flee before the bomb was armed. He and another clone stayed to finish the job."

"No, he has to be alive. I haven't felt him become one with the Force."

"Neither have I, Ahsoka. But that could mean he could be being subjected to something much worse." Kento's hologram looked around. "I have to go, young one."

Ahsoka shut off the transmission without a goodbye, burying her face in her hands. "Carter… You promised," she whispered. She forcibly pulled herself together, shouting for Swift.

"Yes, Ma'am?"

"The two clones who survived the refinery's explosion… the ones in Commander Draik's squad… I want them on this ship, front and center. ASAP."

"You just left him?" Ahsoka asked incredulously, her voice rising in pitch as well as decibel.

The one with the goatee, Niner, nodded timidly. "Yes, ma'am. Like I said, under orders."

"You couldn't just abandon orders this once?"

"Ma'am, it's not that simple-"

The trooper with the spiky hair cut in weakly. Ahsoka would have taken more pity on him, what with the fact that he was attempting to speak while a thick bandage was wrapped tightly around his neck, if Carter hadn't been MIA at the moment. "Ma'am, you know the commander more than anyone else. You know that if Niner hadn't gotten me out of there, if I had died back there, he would be crushed. General Marek assured he wasn't dead, so if his life and mentality are both still intact, didn't this work out for the best?"

Ahsoka sighed, burying her face in her hands. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, ma'am," Niner assured. "You're worried about him. So are we."

"Not to mention, there's no need to apologize to us. We're just common grunts, ma'am." Crash strained a smile.

"Carter thinks you're more than that. That's enough to warrant an apology for me." She allowed a small smile.

"So what are you going to do now, General?" Niner asked.

"I'm going to look for him. He's somewhere in that wreckage."

Niner closed his eyes for a moment. "Ma'am, I hope I don't seem like I'm overstepping rank by asking this of you, but… Could you bring me along? I know where his last known location was, and I can't help but feel like it's my fault."

"Your fault?" Crash cut in. "I'm the one who got shot."

"Well, there's no way I'm bringing you with," Ahsoka said to Crash. "Carter gave me a reason to be mad at him by going MIA. I don't want to give him a reason to be mad at me because I brought an injured member of his squad into this."

"Ma'am, if you are mad at him, and he is mad at you, you'd be about even, right?" Crash attempted to reason.

Ahsoka just shook her head and let the corners of her lips quirk upwards to form a small smile. "I like to have the advantage." She turned to Niner. "You, however, are coming with me. I need your memory."

Niner saluted. "Yes, Ma'am!"

Carter groaned, wiping dust off of his face with the back of his hand, as he regained consciousness. He glanced around at his surroundings from his flattened position on the floor. He and Edge had run as fast as they possibly could, but without Crash, the timing for the detonation was off. They had still been in the facility when it had blown.

Rubble was scattered throughout the area, and Carter could see a bit of daylight shining through cracks in the durasteel ceiling. He was pinned beneath a large chunk of plasteel, and he grunted as he used the Force to hurl it up and away from his body. Slowly, he brought himself up into a sitting position, flexing muscles and feeling for broken bones. As far as he could tell, he'd fractured a rib, which could be easily fixed through the Force. He'd wait until Kento reached him, however. His Master was an expert at thoroughly healing injuries, where Carter could barely fix a papercut.

Satisfied that he was able to commute, Carter attempted to stand. However, all he could hear was the sound of failing circuits and whirring gears. Wincing, he glanced down at his prosthetic leg. It looked fine. It felt fine. But something had happened to cause the programming contained in the prosthetic to fail.

"Crap!" he shouted angrily, slamming a fist on the metallic floor.

A faint coughing sound from behind Carter reached his ears, followed by a weak, "Commander?"

"Edge!" Carter exclaimed. He looked around wildly for his squad member. "Where are you?"

"Under a whole lot of rubble, Sir." The clone gasped in pain. "Can't move."

Carter shook dark bangs out of his eyes and sighed. "Just keep talking, Edge. I'll find you." He followed the sound of Edge's voice to a pile of crates behind him, and dragged himself inch by inch closer to the clone. Upon reaching the crates, Carter used a massive Force push to lift them up and about a hundred yards away. Edge looked up at him weakly.

"Hey, Sir."

"Oh, blast, Edge…" Carter whispered, staring in shock at the durasteel pole that had impaled Edge.

"No need to tell me how bad, Sir," Edge managed. "I know there's not much left for hope right now."

Carter could feel his throat tighten at the words. "N-no, don't say that." His voice was barely audible.

"Well, I will say that it's been a pleasure serving under you, Commander. Best assignment I could ask for." He forced a smile, blood beginning to pool at the lifted corners of his mouth.

"Edge, hold on! Come on! The boys need to see you again. You can't leave 'em like this!" Carter mentally cursed at himself when he heard his voice break.

Carter heard the voice of Jango Fett echo once again throughout the chamber, loudly. However, it was not Edge.

"COMMANDER!"

It was Niner. Carter breathed a sigh of relief as his squadmate rounded the corner, followed closely by Ahsoka. He waved both over solemnly, watching Niner's expression turn sorrowful once he caught sight of Edge.

Ahsoka kept a professional front, giving Carter's hand a light squeeze before keeping her distance.

"Edge?"

"Niner…" he coughed, sending spatters of blood across his already bloodstained armor. His head began to drop- slowly, lifelessly- to the ground. Carter could feel the pain in his chest, like someone had taken a dagger to his heart and twisted it painfully.

"Edge! Come on, don't do this to me! Wake up! Edge!" Niner shouted at his comrade's lifeless corpse, expressing his grief through anger.

Ahsoka took Carter's hand. "I'm sorry."

He said nothing; Carter just stood there, staring at the heartbreaking scene before him, trying desperately to stay calm.

"At least you're okay," she said softly, squeezing his hand.

He tore his eyes from Niner and Edge to look into the sapphire eyes he'd fallen in love with, finding only a small amount of comfort within them. "Okay?" he whispered. "No. I'm not."

"Nice work, Snips," Anakin said proudly. "Looks like you didn't need my help after all. Kento's victory set the stage for the Republic's eventual victory over Kashyyyk."

"Yeah," Ahsoka said, biting her lip.

"What's wrong, then?" he asked, frowning. "I'd have thought you'd be a little happier about this. And from what I hear, Carter not only survived, but he's on your ship."

"Yeah. Well Carter's what's bothering me."

"Look, you're in an empty comm room and your secret is safe with me. Talk to me."

"One of his squadmates died back there. He's hardly spoken to me since, only to Crash and Niner. And he's been holed up in his quarters for two hours."

"Well, he's obviously been hit hard by the loss; I don't see what's so bad about it."

"Master, I don't think you understand. He should be talking to me about it, of all people."

"Oh, I understand," Anakin assured. "Trust me. And if he won't come to you, maybe you should come to him."

"Meaning?"

"Next time you get a break, make the trip to his quarters and let him talk. Don't dominate the conversation, just listen. Guys like that."

Ahsoka frowned. "Okay, if you say so."

"Then go, already. I'll talk to you later, Snips." He cut the transmission.

She exited the comm room and turned to Swift. "I'm going to Commander Draik's quarters to discuss Jedi business," she explained. "Is that okay?"

The XO nodded. "We're just about to make the jump to hyperspace so you should have quite a bit of free time. But if we need you, I'll contact you on your comm. Keep your channel open just in case."

Ahsoka nodded. "Of course." She strode away, taking the elevator down to the barracks level of the ship. The door to Carter's quarters was sealed, and he made no response when she knocked. She rolled her eyes and punched in an executive override code. The joys of being the commanding officer of her own ship. The door slid open to reveal Carter sitting on the edge of his bunk. Green eyes glanced up at her, and she saw his shoulders rise and fall with a silent sigh.

She closed the door behind her as she stepped in. "Hey."

He tried to smile, but failed. "Hey."

"How you holding up?"

"Bad," he replied bluntly.

"You know, he saved Crash's life. He died a hero. I know that doesn't take away the pain, but I think that's how Edge would have wanted to go."

Carter was silent for a long while, staring into space. "I promised them," he whispered finally.

"What did you promise?" Ahsoka prodded gently.

"That I wouldn't let them get hit. That I would block any blast that came their way. I failed them. I failed Crash, and Edge. And in failing them, I failed Niner as well. It's all my fault."

"You know it's not."

"If I hadn't ordered Crash and Niner away- or if I'd sent Edge with them… Or better yet, if I'd stopped Crash from getting hit… It would all be different!"

"Carter…" she sighed, sitting next to him on the bunk and taking a calloused hand in her own. "That's what you're gonna feel. The responsibility of command is tough, I understand. When things go bad, the first person you're gonna blame is yourself. Truth is, there are hundreds of 'what if' scenarios, but you and I both know that the Force keeps the balance of life in whichever way it chooses. And what happened was the way fate decided it would be."

"I know," he said quietly. "But… Ahsoka, it hurts.

"Carter, it's just you and me," she said softly. "It's okay to let the walls down."

The first tear slid down his cheek, before more joined. She simply pulled him into her arms, kissing his cheek as he buried his face in the crook of her neck and simply cried.