Whoop, whoop, here we are, another chapter! I've been hooked on writing on SOTH for the past week and I'm actually just finishing up the very last chapter right now! Don't worry, though - that's still a while away for you guys. That does, however, mean that I'll be updating regularly, because... well, when I finish it, I don't need to be ahead. So, happy reading and I will see you at the bottom!

Chapter 31

Damon's pov

I loved Elena more than anything else, but sometimes she infuriated me. She really couldn't see that this Nate guy might be a potential danger, which was enough for me to not want her around him. After everything that had happened with the psycho who abducted her, I wasn't about to take a risk on a guy that was raising all of my red flags. I wish she could understand that, but she was stubborn enough to want to risk her own life, just to prove a point to me.

I was just going to have to keep a really good eye on her, so even if she was meeting up with him and he was about to kill her, I could swoop in and save the day. Again.

I had almost lost her so many times, that I wasn't taking any chances, even if it was going to upset her. I would rather have her upset than dead, any day.

I foolishly believed that after we had moved into the apartment, we were going to see each other every day and I would never have to endure the excruciating pain I had felt, the further away from Elena I got, but as always, I was wrong. 3 weeks into her college semester, Bonnie was back, and apparently Elena's entire freshman year was going on a trip up north. I had been worried that Elena had felt the same pain that I had, when I had left her behind in her dorm room, but she hadn't mentioned anything about it, so I figured it only applied to me. Pretty handy, since I was the only one that knew why.

That also meant, that even though Elena didn't like spending time away from me, she was looking very much forward to the trip. I tried to be happy for her, but all I could keep in mind, was that she was going to be away for an entire week, without me seeing her. If I thought a few hours had been bad, I didn't want to experience what this was going to be like.

But because I had decided to not tell her about the Singer bond, there was no way I could ask her to stay home. I would simply have to put up with the pain.

Or, you know, kill myself over and over for an entire week, because it was entirely possible that that might be more comfortable than being apart from her.

Fuck my life.

On the day that she had to leave, I went with her to campus, to say goodbye. She had packed a duffel bag and she was in a pair of shorts that enhanced her ass in a very nice way and a tanktop as a cherry on top. I wanted to throw her into one of the classrooms and fuck her silly, but I knew she was so excited for this, so I couldn't be selfish with her. Seeing her smile was enough for me.

I kept an eye on the other students and teachers going and I was happy to see that the creepy professor Nate wasn't amongst the participants. At least I didn't have to worry about her getting killed on the trip. My vampire speed was fast, but there was no way I could handle a 4 hour drive in a few seconds. I thought about getting in my car and following them, so I could keep an eye on her, but I knew I had to let her have the college experience and her own privacy.

Plus, if she found me there, she would be super pissed. She wouldn't understand that I was worried - she would think I was jealous and didn't trust her. I would have to stay home and just trust that nothing was going to happen. Even though I felt like I should give her a million precautions when we stood outside the bus, I didn't. I just kissed her and let her jump into my arms, hoping to imprint the feeling of her lips on mine, so I could remember it anytime.

As soon as the bus turned around the corner, I felt extremely empty inside. They might as well have left with both my lungs, because it was the same weird feeling of missing something that was so vital to me. At first I drove back to the apartment, but after cleaning it all, cleaning out the fridge, scrubbing down the floors, changing all the flowers Elena insisted on having and doing all the laundry, I decided it was just too damn miserable to be there without Elena. So, I decided to pack a bag, go back to the boarding house and finally give Stefan shit for not telling me it's impossible to be physically away from your singer, for more than a few hours. It seemed like a pretty big thing to forget to tell me.

I felt like a teenager, when I went through Elena's drawer to find one of her shirts to bring with me. It was such a silly thing to do, but the pain had already started in my stomach, so I hoped that having the smell of her would help me feel better. If not… well, the idea of killing myself over and over until she came home seemed pretty inviting.

By the time I made it back to Mystic Falls, my heart was thumping, my chest and stomach hurt and I was extremely pissed with Stefan. I broke the speed limit by at least 40 miles per hour, didn't even bother to park my car properly, before I banged the door open and yelled out Stefan's name. He came running downstairs, with a half naked Caroline running after him, and by that point, the pain in my chest had gotten so bad, that I couldn't control my rage. I sped to him, grabbed him by the throat and pinned him to the wall.

"Tell me why the fuck I can't stand to be away from her! Why is it that I need to feel her, that I can't stand that she's not in my bed? What didn't you tell me, Stefan? What the hell is this?" I growled, pinning him harder, when he tried to struggle back. Caroline was watching us, shocked, but apparently not scared enough to actually intervene.

"What do you mean?" Stefan managed to choke out, his hands trying to pull mine away from his throat. I loosened my grip slightly, allowing him to speak. Maybe he knew how to make the pain stop.

"You know perfectly well what I mean. I leave Elena at her dorm room and two hours later, my stomach starts hurting. She leaves for a trip with her school, and three hours later, my chest hurts so much, I can't breathe. Tell me. What's. Going. On," I said, with very pointed words, feeling the pain of my chest increasing and my heart rate speeding up. At this point, I wasn't sure if that was actually Elena's heart rate, or if it was mine. It could be both.

"Damon, I've never tried anything like that. It was never like that with me and Caroline," Stefan replied, again trying to pull my hand away. I was surprised to feel that it worked - mostly because I was so weakened by the Singer bond. I was worried about Elena, but I knew I couldn't text her and ask. Hell, I couldn't even just ask if they had gotten there yet, because I didn't want to seem like a boyfriend who didn't want to share her. I didn't want to be that type of asshole.

"You're lying!" I said, now panting because a big stab had just hit my heart. Or at least, that was what it felt like. I had never been staked, but I imagined that was what it felt like.

"He's not, Damon. Don't you get it?" Caroline said, stepping closer to us, looking like she was ready to get Stefan out of my grip and out of here.

"I really don't have the patience for your bullshit right now, Barbie. Just tell me what it is or I'll rip your head off," I growled, rubbing my head as a headache began. Great, we were at step 3.

"You and Elena have spent way more time than Stefan and I did together. You've also slept together, which is bound to do something to your bond. That has to be the explanation," she said. I finally let go fully of Stefan, who sped to Caroline's side.

"Caroline is right, Damon. It's the only difference between ours and your relationship. It has to be that," Stefan said. The bruises on his neck had already disappeared, even though I had gotten a good grip on him, before the pains had begun.

"Well fuck, I knew karma was gonna get me for sleeping with her before she was 18," I said, finally collapsing to the couch, trying to mentally get rid of the pains. Of course, that didn't work at all, but I was getting to a point where I was desperate. My hands felt like they were burning, because I needed her in my arms, and I needed her badly.

"I'm sorry, Damon… you know, maybe if you had told her, she wouldn't have left without you. If she knew it was going to cause you pain, you know she wouldn't have gone," Caroline said. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Yeah, well, that's a little too late now, blondie, now, would one of you be so kind as to snap my neck, so I don't have to endure this for another week?" I asked. Stefan and Caroline looked at each other, obviously trying to decide whether or not they thought I was being serious.

"Yes, I mean, just get it over with. I'll check up on Elena when I wake up and then we'll do the same thing again," I said bitterly. That way she wouldn't think I was being overly clingy either, so really, it worked out for the best for all of us. It was sort of ironic how me being dead was the best option we had. This was going on the list of things I wasn't going to tell Elena, because I knew she wasn't going to like it, even if she knew what was going on.

Stefan was the one to snap my neck and I enjoyed the brief sensation of being without pain, before my mind drifted off.

Waking up from being dead is a seriously weird feeling. It's like waking up from something deeper than normal sleep and instead of feeling rested, you feel… well, like you've just died from whatever injury actually killed you. It did make sense, since, you know, my neck had just been snapped, then reset itself and healed everything over a few hours, but it was still a really odd feeling.

This time, something else was bothering me as well. I had a feeling of unease in my body, as though something was horribly wrong. I wasn't sure what it was, but I had to find out. If it was in my body, but not my feeling, then it had to be Elena's.

I hadn't even gotten to finish the thought, when my phone buzzed in my pants. As I pulled it out of the pocket, Elena's smiling face was looking at me from the screen. I answered it quickly.

"Damon?"

My insides felt frozen. She was sobbing and she sounded like she was in pain.

"What's the matter? Where are you?" I said, immediately sitting up, feeling thankful that Caroline and Stefan had left all my clothes and my shoes on. This way, I was able to just jump in the car.

"Everything hurts so badly. My chest, Damon, my heart, I feel like I'm suffocating. Please… help," she said, the pain so clear in her voice, that it felt like it hurt me even more, than I already was.

"I'm coming. Text me the address, I'll be there soon," I said, hanging up and speeding to my car. I'd be breaking at least 5 laws on the way, but I didn't give a shit.

My Singer needed me.

The drive to Elena should have taken 5 and a half hours - I did it in 3. I'd been lucky there had been no cops around, because I really didn't feel like stopping to compel them. And knowing my frustration, I probably would have ended up killing them instead, anyway. Nobody was going to be in the way of me getting to Elena, when she needed me.

She was running towards my car as soon as I swung into the parking lot, and I didn't even bother to properly park it, I just got out and sped to her, feeling the pain from being away, go away. She was crying and she instantly buried her head in my chest, her body relaxing into mine. I put my arms around her, holding her as tight as I could without breaking her bones.

"Damon, I don't understand, it hurt so bad and now you're here and it doesn't hurt anymore and I thought I was going to die," she said, still sobbing and her tiny body shaking in my arms. I kissed the top of her head, letting her cry, as I realized there was no way around it anymore.

"We need to talk… do you wanna stay here or do you want to go home?" I asked, trying to be the calm presence, so she could feel protected and safe enough to calm down.

"What do you mean we need to talk?" she said, her eyes looking frightened. Great, Damon, try to calm her down and end up making her even more scared.

"There's just some stuff I've… I haven't told you. It's gonna take a while to explain, but I promise after this, there won't be any more secrets," I said, already fearing what that talk was going to end out in. This was what I had been waiting for so long to tell her. As soon as I was done talking, she was probably going to tell me whether or not she would want to turn.

To be honest, I wasn't sure if I were ready for the answer.

"I'll go get my stuff," she said, and I could feel her heart speeding up. Fuck, I'd probably made her even more uncomfortable than she had been with the pains. I walked after her, wanting to grab her bags, but she kept an uncomfortable distance to me. It didn't exactly make me feel better about telling her. I wish I could find some way around it, but I knew it was too late.

There was still a while before she had to turn, but I knew it wasn't fair to give her so little time to decide if she wanted to die or become undead. For once, I was actually following what little morale sense I had. Even though it might mean I could lose the only person that had mattered to me in centuries.

When we got back in the car, Elena was quiet and fidgety. She was obviously anxious about what I had to say, but I could almost guarantee it was something she hadn't expected at all. I mean, I knew she had sensed something had been up more than once, but I doubt she had figured out what was actually going on.

"Damon, will you please just… tell me. If you don't love me anymore, I-"

"What? Elena, that's insane. I love you, you know that," I said, looking at her with confusion. She thought I didn't love her anymore? I knew she knew something was up, but I had never expected her to think it was something like that.

"Then… what is it?" she said, obviously just as confused as I had been over her request. I breathed in and decided I should probably tell her this before we started driving. It was important for me to see her reactions to this, because it was going to give me clues as to how she was feeling.

"When… when I came to pick you up after the accident, wasn't the first time I saw you," I said, deciding I should probably start from the beginning. She frowned.

"I know, Damon… remember that we met at The Grill? We've already talked about this," she said. I sighed.

"That wasn't the first time either… the… the first time I saw you, you were less than 10 hours old. I compelled the nurses and I fed you… you were adorable, with those big eyes of yours… you were acting so beyond your years, even though you were a newborn." I was looking down at my hands, on purpose, because I wasn't sure how to take her reaction. When I looked up, her mouth was dropped and she was utterly confused.

"How…"

I thought again - how was the best way to explain everything to her?

"There's an ancient prophecy about vampires… some call it a curse, some call it a blessing… I used to think it was a curse, and I always thought it wasn't going to happen to me, but it did and it showed me that it's not a curse, but actually a blessing," I said, remembering who I had been before Elena was born.

"Sometimes, a special kind of human is born… we call them Singers. And they're connected to a vampire, who will feel their heart start beating when the Singer is born. For the vampire, it creates this… irresistible urge to see their Singer, to protect them, no matter the cost. It's something no vampire can fight. Trust me, I tried. But from the second you were born… from the second my heart started beating, there was nothing I could do. I have watched over you, your whole life… we've talked and interacted on special occasions and you always surprised me. You've always known my name, somehow… and you were never scared of me. I always knew where you were, I have always been able to feel your heart beat and to an extent your emotions," I said, recalling all the memories I had with her, that she didn't remember. Her hands were on her mouth, and she looked shocked. I wanted to hug her and to stop the story there, but I was in too deep now. I had to finish.

"But… being a Singer is a hard job… you have special powers. You can't be compelled. You can do inhumane things when I'm around and so on… but you're cursed as well. The downside to being a Singer…" I drew in a big breath, "when you turn 24… which is the age I was, when I was turned, you have to either turn like me or… or you'll die."

I looked up to look at her face. So many emotions were flying across her face and I wish I could explain it to her better, but I didn't know the prophecy as well as Stefan did.

"Caroline was Stefan's singer," I said, hoping it would explain just a little to her.

"Did you never think to tell me that I was going to have to die?" she said, her voice small, but angry. I almost physically winced at her words. The thought of her dying wasn't one I was comfortable with.

"You… you have a choice. You can die or… become a vampire like me," I said, hoping that she would give me an indication that she wouldn't want to choose death. I could handle her hating me, if I knew she was alive... but just the thought of her dying... no, I would never be able to live with it.

"But becoming a vampire requires dying, right? I have to die with vampire blood in my system?" she said, her voice gaining strength. She was getting angry.

"Yes… yes, you do… but we can make it gentle, I promise. I'll do it myself, if that makes you feel better," I said, hoping to assure her that I would never hurt her. She frowned and seemed like she needed to pace. She didn't seem comfortable in my leather seats.

"And if I refuse? What's going to happen then?" she asked, looking out through the windshield. I tightened my jaw, trying not to think too much about it.

"Then you'll die… one way or the other. It's never clear how it's going to happen, but it will…" I said. Elena opened the car door and started pacing on the ground. I got out and stood on the other side of the car, giving her a bit of space. I knew she must be overwhelmed, which proved in the way she paced back and forth, burying her hands in her hair.

"How could you not tell me this, Damon? How on earth could you keep this from me?" she said, looking up at me. I could see that she was hurt and I could feel her emotions flow over my own.

"I'm sorry, Elena, I really am. I should have told you, the instant you found out I was a vampire. I should have let you know and guided you through it, but I was scared. You were so young when you came to us and you'd been through so much, I didn't want to add to that. And then… time just flew by and every time I wanted to tell you, I chickened out," I said, for once letting all shields down and just letting her see me and how incredibly sorry I was.

"Geez, Damon, what was your plan? Were you just going to surprise me on my 24th birthday? Hey, guess what, you've fought for staying alive, just to die later! Why did you even have to come into my life!" she yelled, pacing faster and faster.

I felt like my heart had turned to ice. I had expected her to be mad and I had expected her to be mad at me, but I hadn't expected that comment.

"If that's how you feel… I can do my best to stay away from you…" I said quietly. The pain tore through my chest like I had been electrocuted, and I felt like killing and breaking stuff. This was what it came down to, and if that was her response… maybe she would actually rather die than be with me.

"No, Damon… that wasn't what I meant," she said, her voice going from angry to emotional. I looked at her, realizing we had never been in a situation like this. This was it.

"Elena, I… I don't want to force you to do anything. If you… if you choose to die, I will respect that. And if you want to turn, but not be with me, I accept that as well… and I'd be honored if you'd turn and be with me, but… it's your choice," I said, still trying to resist the urge to tear the trees on the parking lot apart. I needed to be here for Elena right now, not be destructive. Even though it was my primary instinct to go the destructive way, I had to find a way around it, and that way was Elena.

"I… Damon, I can't make that choice yet… I'm 18," she said, and I felt a wave of confusion and misery swarm over me. I walked around the car, going closer to her. I wanted to hold her, to tell her everything was going to be okay and that I would take care of it, but this was the one situation where I really couldn't do anything. The choice was up to her. And right now, the choice seemed to be that she wanted to wait.

"That works too, Elena… you still have 6 years left," I said, trying to smile at her, but it quickly disappeared again, because I wasn't sure if she was still mine. And in the end, that was all that mattered to me. She was all that mattered to me.

"Elena, let's just… drive back home. If you want distance I'll grab the couch tonight, but we should get out of here," I said, almost begging her to get in the car, so we could leave. She had been through a lot tonight and she really needed sleep and rest. Maybe things would look different tomorrow.

"Damon, I don't know what to do," she said and she looked utterly helpless. She usually seemed so much older than her actual years, but now, she very much looked like the 18 year old she was.

"It's okay, Elena… it's okay to not know," I said, and I breathed a relieved sigh, when she stepped into my arms and pulled me close, "we'll figure it all out… I promise."

Elena was quiet on the way and halfway through, she fell asleep in the car seat. The tears falling down her cheeks didn't escape my notice, but I knew that she needed a little bit of space and time to think over everything I had told her and everything that had happened tonight. On top of that, I knew her body must have been exhausted after the pain - at least if it had been anything as bad as mine had been. When we got back to the apartment, I carried her upstairs, gently taking off her jeans and t-shirt and taking her bra off. As soon as I got off the bed, she turned around and grabbed my t-shirt. I wasn't entirely sure if she was still awake or not, but I stayed.

"Please, Damon… please don't leave me."

Her voice was so small and so vulnerable that I could feel my heart breaking all over again. It also gave me a surge of hope - if she didn't want me to leave, even though it was in her subconscious, she must still love me. And maybe, just maybe, we were going to survive this.

I took my clothes off as well, until I was in my boxers and then I climbed under the sheets with her. I didn't want to just assume she wanted to cuddle, so I just laid close enough to her, that she could feel I was there. As soon as I was lying on by back, she rolled over in her sleep, put her head on my chest and her hand on my stomach. I looked down at her sleeping form and put my arm around her, wowing right there to never lie to her again and to protect her, no matter the cost.

"I'll never leave you, Elena," I whispered, kissing the top of her head, "I will always be right here."

I had thought that Elena knowing what she was and what her future had in store for her, would have changed everything, but oddly enough, everything seemed to return to normal over the next few days. The first day she had spent in bed, sleeping on and off and crying a little bit. I couldn't blame her at all. I had expected that to last longer, but the next day, she had been up and running around, getting out and taking a run for the first time in ages, despite it being Sunday. She had been acting completely normal outside of that, and it was worrying me a bit. I wasn't an expert or anything, but I figured there would be more of a reaction from her.

I had had in mind for a while to ask her about it, but even though I hated admitting it, I didn't have the courage. I didn't want us to fight even more than we already had and I liked that things were back to being great, but I knew it wasn't right. I needed to talk to her about it, because there was no way she was okay with everything I had told her.

I decided to do it, an afternoon after she came home from classes. I would probably end up regretting it, as soon as we started talking, but I knew I had to do it. So, when she threw her bag on the floor and sat down on the couch, I sat down next to her, rubbing my hands together.

"What's the matter?" she asked, laying down, so her head was in my lap. I started automatically stroking her hair, as I thought of of how to tell her.

"Elena, we… I'm getting kind of worried about you," I said, deciding to play it safe and just take it as it came. Hopefully it wouldn't go too bad - but to be honest, we'd already had some of the most serious talks we were going to have.

"Worried? Why?" she asked, frowning at me. I sighed and rolled her soft curls around my finger.

"Because you've had no reaction to what I told you the other day. I expected you to freak out and have panic attacks and stuff, but you're just so… normal," I said, trying to gauge her reaction. She was frowning at first, but then her face went to irritated.

"Damon, I don't need to cry and feel horrible about everything. In this case, I decided that it's simply not worth worrying about. I'm 18 now, so I have 6 years left, until I have to decide what to do. That means that I simply don't have to decide right now, so I won't. I'm going to live my life, have fun with you, get my degree and worry about it later," she said, sitting up, so she wasn't in my lap anymore. I frowned at her.

"It doesn't scare you at all?" I asked. She sighed and leaned back against the couch.

"Of course, it does. Why do you think I'm avoiding it? It's simply a choice I can't make right now and thinking about it will only make my last 6 years as a human horrible. So, can we please just pretend I don't have to make the choice until later?" she said. Her eyes had gone from irritated to vulnerable and I felt with her. If that was the way she wanted to do it, that was the way we would do it.

"Yeah, Elena, we can do it that way. You don't have to make a decision yet," I said, however, I didn't exactly feel optimistic about it. I would have hoped that she would have given me some sort of indication as to what she wanted to do, but she didn't. What she had said could have been anything, and I felt just as empty handed as I had before we talked about it.

But expecting an answer was a selfish thing to do. She was young and she had so much in front of her - even just to 24. I wanted an answer, but I knew I needed to do it in the pace she set. I loved her too much to press her on it and I didn't want to see her suffer through it.

"Thank you," she said, leaning over and kissing me. I kissed her back and I could feel the relief from her flowing over me.

"It's no problem," I whispered against her lips as we broke apart. She smiled and opened her eyes slowly, her brown eyes full of emotion. I smiled at her, kissing her briefly and then burying my hand in her soft hair.

"I love you," she said and hugged me tight. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back.

"I love you too."

The secret is FINALLY OUT. Phew! I hope this came kinda unforseen and wasn't what everyone expected it to be. I do like the element of surprise! So, I really really wanna know what you thought of this. What was good, what wasn't all that good, did you like it? What could have been better? Anything and everything. Reviews are fuel to my writing-flame and it gets me going like nothing else.

I'll see you in the next update!