When Nick wakes up I don't mention anything about how he mumbled my name and how he smiled in his sleep, because I'm just as guilty. We are sitting together on a rock outside of tent eating the extra fish that Keanan caught for us a while ago. Nick isn't being his talkative self and he just looks at me a couple times. We are carrying our knives in our pockets, because we are a bit paranoid that the boy from District 1 is going to pop out of the woods. When we are finished eating we sit there awkwardly and before Nick says it I know what he is going to say.
"We have to figure this out. What do we do if we're the last two?" he is looking at me with such a sudden serious face. Even though we should talk about this, I still don't want to. I don't say anything and avoid his eyes staring at the floor picking at the dirt on the bottom of my shoes. "Hailey. Look at me." I listen to him looking up to him immediately.
"Nick, lets figure it out when we get there." I say that even though, we'll be there pretty soon. He sighs to show he attempted to get through my stubborn mind and is surrendering. "I'm going to get a drink of water." He nods his head. I place the knife on the rock so it wouldn't weigh me down as I walked down the beach. I walk across the sand sensing Nick's eyes on me, but I don't turn my head.
When I get down to the beach I bend down slightly and cup my hands to gather the water in them. Before I can even touch my palm to my mouth I am hearing a sound that I've been hearing too much, a cannon.
Out of instinct my heart jumps and I whip my head towards Nick. I find him sitting in the same spot he was in before looking at me with the same confusion as me. I don't have time to cry or run back to Nick because the next second the announcer's voice is surrounding us in the arena.
"Congratulations final two of the 76th Hunger Games! You've made it this far, and now we need a victor! So concluding this, if we do not have a victor by sun down there will be consequences." The voice fades and I am left feeingl dumfounded. The sky is already getting dim and I start to panic. I catch a glimpse of Nick's eyes as they dart for the rock next to him. It feels like this is going in slow motion in front of my eye as he lifts his hand.
I know what his plan is as soon as he lifts his hand. He grabs the knife that I left behind on the rock I was sitting on before. He turns it into his stomach.
"Nick!" I scream. But he doesn't put his hand down. I start running back to the rock but by the time I get there he already shoved the knife in his stomach. My heart aches as I see the blood bleeding through his shirt. He falls off the rock but I get to him in just enough time to catch his head. He is groaning in pain and I feel tears forming in my eyes.
"No, Nick. Don't die on me!" I yell at him. I lay him down on the two rocks as if it was a bed and I run inside the tent. My arms are flinging backpacks and jackets around so I can find something to help Nick. I find a first aid kit and I run back out to him. When I see him with the knife in his stomach I make a small noise of pain that comes from the pit of my stomach. I feel like I am going to throw up.
I run to him and say, "This is going to hurt, ok?" He doesn't answer, probably because it hurts too much already. I breathe in deeply and put my hands on the knife. I don't hesitate I just pull it out; when I do Nick makes a yelling kind of noise that makes me cringe. "Shh..." I say while trying to control my tears. Nothing else matters right now but saving Nick. I won't let him die.
I manage to relax a bit and pull out a bottle of rubbing alcohol from the first aid kit. But all that is lost when I lift up his shirt. There is a big hole, probably bigger than the hole than the one I have in my side. Tears start rushing down my face and I start slurring my words. "Mom…Dad…" I say through my sobs, I know they wouldn't send me anything, but I had no one else to turn to. I pour the rubbing alcohol on the hole and he breathes in sharply. I start dabbing it quickly, fumbling my hands. "Don't worry… Nick… I'll fix it." I had no idea if I could fix this.
"Hailey…" I look at his face; it looks like it took a lot of energy just to say that. "Let…me…die." He opens his eyes fully and is looking at me with so much intensity. Letting him die is too much to ask. A tear rolls off my eyes and falls on to his cheek. I look down at the bloody mess and see the cloth I put on top of his stomach wet with blood.
"Nick." I say, I don't know what else to say I just collapse in a hug around his neck. I run my hand through his brown hair. I take my head out of the crook of his neck and look into his gray eyes. I've shared many things with Nick; dreams, nightmares, glances, kisses, but I never shared three words that I wanted him to know.
"Nick. I love you." I say this with so much pain in my voice but I don't regret saying it as I see Nick smirking. It's a little grin but I can still see his dimple. Quickly I reach my head towards him and kiss him softly. When I pull away Nick's eyes are slowly drifting.
"I love you too." He says this with the little grin that still shows his dimple. Shortly after saying those words his eyes close and I hear the sound I wish I wouldn't have heard, Nick's Cannon. He is dead. He is gone. Never again will I feel his big muscular arms around me. I will never get the feeling in my stomach when his lips press against mine. I feel so alone right now. I'm angered, I don't know at whom, maybe myself for leaving the stupid knife on the rock when I got up. I'm just so angry that I scream.
I shriek so loud if anyone where on the other side of the arena they could hear me, but there is no one, I am alone. "Congratulations Hailey Mellark on winning the 76th Hunger Games." After I hear this I start screaming more. I don't know what screaming will do but I honestly have no control over it anymore. I still won't let go of Nick's body. There isn't enough energy in me. From up above I hear rustling and I feel a massive wave of air swooping over my face. My hair starts to whip around my face and Nick's hair starts whipping his lifeless face. I look up to see a big gray hovercraft.
When the hovercraft lands right in the mess off the trees right by the tent, people who look like peacekeepers immediately come running towards me and Nick's body. I hold on to Nick's body tightly but the peacekeepers peel me off of him pushing me on the ground behind them. They pick him up.
"What are you doing with him? No! Don't take him!" I don't know why I don't want the peacekeepers to take Nick away, maybe it's because I am afraid I might forget his beautiful face if I never see him again. The peacekeepers don't listen to me or even acknowledge me. I am extremely angered by this. I stand up grabbing the pant leg of one of the peacekeepers, screaming still.
Just then someone runs off the hovercraft, I catch a quick glimpse of him; he is tall and very skinny. The look on his face instantly scares me, and I feel like I already know who he is. "Cut the cameras." He bellows, it shivers my spine. This is the President, the grandson of President Snow, I don't know his name. "Peeta. Katniss. Get out here."
The peacekeeper is trying to shake me off. And I don't let go until someone picks me up from behind. I recognize the warm hands instantly, its dad. This is the only time when I am in dad's arms in which I don't feel safe. I don't feel instantly better like I used to, all I want is Nick. I hear dad's voice in my ear as I watch the peacekeepers walk away into the hovercraft with Nick's dead body. "Hailey…shh..." but I don't shush. I keep yelling and crying and fumbling my arms in the grasp of my dad. I feel so pathetic, like a baby.
Dad is carrying me to the hovercraft and when we get there the first person I see is mom. The sight of her face should make me happy but I see those gray eyes and I want to scream. So I sob out loud, because I already lost my dignity on the beach. Beside mom walks the creepy president and hands something to her. She looks down at it and looks back the president with wide eyes.
"This could knock her out for days." Mom says fast. The president points his finger at me,
"At the rate we're going, we need that." He says avoiding my eyes. Mom looks up to dad and he answers back quickly.
"No way, I am not giving that to her." Dad seems certain in whatever there arguing about but when mom puts her hand lightly on dad's arm and says, "Peeta, he is right." Dad grabs the thing out of moms hands and sticks it in too my arm. It was an injection.
I scream not at the pain from the injection but from the awful pain in my heart. It feels half empty just picturing Nick's body lying in the arms of the peacekeepers. I just want him to be alive holding me and telling me it's going to be alright. I wish I had a stronger heart like my mother who lost so many friends; I guess I'm more like my dad that way.
My eyes slowly close and I start to dose off. Dad is carrying me somewhere. The slow rocking of dad's steps pushes me to slumber faster than I was already.
My eyes are closed, all I see is red, red like the blood that came out of Nick's wound. Then just in a second I feel nothing, nothing except the lingering last kiss of Nick's on my lips.