PRM ch 34

A/n: I'm back! You don't EVEN want to know about the recent health issues. Needless to say I am looking forward to a NEW YEAR with blessed health!

I am epic fail for not mentioning my team and expressing my gratitude for all they do for me on this story! My beta, bff and sister from another mister, Bnjwl…..BB, I could NOT do what I do without you…..FLOVE YOU HARD! My pre-reader, twifey and all around techno guru, lvtwilight09…..you make my life infinitely better and are my heart and soul….love you so much!

Now….on with it;)

BPOV

We sat in silence for a few minutes as I gathered my strength to rehash my history with abuse. It wasn't a headspace that I liked to visit often. But, I knew that it would be helpful to Edward, therefore I was willing to go there for him.

"When I was a little girl my parents got divorced because my mom wanted out of the small town life. She left me with my dad because she saw her opportunity to travel and see the world. When my grandmother died she left my mom some money. It wasn't a whole lot but it was enough that now that she had her freedom, she could take off on the adventures that she wanted to have." I started my story and turned to face Edward. He needed to see the emotions I felt, to feel how much what I now told him changed me, therefore I felt it necessary to tell him head on.

"My mom was always a dreamer, always wanted a big house, fancy cars and designer clothes. None of that was truly available on a Police Chief's salary or in the small town that we lived in, so she went to find it. I took after my dad and was pretty well content with the life he provided, so it was a better option for me to stay behind with him." I continued to talk until I felt Edward's hand lay on top of mine. The static that past between us as our skin touched was enough to take my breath away for a moment and forced me to lose my concentration.

I looked down at our hands and instantly turned my palm up as our fingers wrapped around each other's. It was a connection like I had never known before.

It took me a minute to remember what I was talking about but once I did I started again.

"A few years after mom left she met a Major League baseball player named Phil Dwyer. She was instantly smitten with him and the prestige that he could offer her as a professional baseball player. They were married only a few months after they met. I flew to Phoenix for their wedding and met Phil for the first time when I was eleven years old." I paused and felt a shiver run through me at the thought of that memory.

I felt Edward's hand softly squeeze mine to signal that it was okay to continue. As I looked at him, his eyes were soft and full of concern. He unintentionally made me feel safe. It was a little confusing to me but I realized that it was a nice feeling to have.

"Well, you know how they say that children have a sixth sense when it comes to knowing whether or not someone was good or bad? I had that with Phil. I had never met anyone that made me feel so uncomfortable or downright fearful. When he looked at me, it gave me the creeps. I tried to talk to my mom about it but she blew me off under the notion that I was a jealous child who only wanted her mom with her dad." My eyes welled up at her revelation that I learned much too late. "Years later she confessed to me that she wished that she had listened to me that day." I paused and looked out at the peaceful garden as I tried to hold the tears at bay while remembered the conversation.

"He was evil?" Edward's voice brought me back to the moment and to the conversation at hand.

I nodded before I spoke, "Yes, he really was."

"You see, Edward, he was a lot like Tanya. He lured my mother in with fancy gifts, sweet words and promises of a future together. Then once they were married he made her life a living hell."

"A year or two after they married, he was traded to the Mariners and they had to move to Seattle. He had lost his starting position due to an injury and he started to drink, a lot. He would hit my mom and then buy her something the next day to make up for it. It started out small, a smack here, a bump there but it gradually got worse as his professional life started to go downhill. Once he his contract was up and he wasn't picked up by another team, it went completely out of control. My visitation with my mom at that point had almost completely ceased altogether. She wasn't allowed to go out in public without him or at least his permission. She wasn't allowed to call me or to use the phone unless he was able to listen on the other extension. When I would come for a visit, usually just a day trip with my dad, we had to stay in the living room where he could monitor us the entire time I was there." I stopped and pulled my hands from his and folded them around myself.

The hurt and pain over my mother's life was a driving force in my own, it wasn't easy to share or relive and doing it now was even more upsetting. I didn't want my mother's story to become Edward's. I wanted something more for him...maybe for us.

But, I had to tell him. I had to finish.

"By the time I had turned seventeen I had figured out everything that was going on, so I started writing little letters to my mom and passing them to her when I would go visit on the weekends. Because I had figured it out, my dad and I were trying to help her get away through the letters. I would slip it in her pocket or her hand as we held hands or hugged. Then the next visit she would slip one from her to me. This went on for a few months as we worked to develop a way get her out of there." I felt Edward scoot closer to me on the bench. The warm glow of the lights placed around the garden enveloped us as twilight approached.

"Bella?" I heard him say before I turned to him. I looked up to see his face full of worry as his brow bunched and his mouth slanted in a frown. I didn't like to see him wear those types of expressions , now that I had seen his smile I wanted that to be the only sentiment that was ever written across his face from now on. But, in this moment I knew I had no choice but to finish and ignore the frown.

"I'm okay, Edward. This is just a lot to tell someone." I said, quietly.

His arm folded around my shoulder as he leaned in a small bit.

"We had finally gotten a plan in place and were a week away from it all coming together when Phil found the little stash of notes that my mother had saved. She'd taken to stuffing them in the side of the mattress in a small tear. How he found them, I'll never know but he tore that house apart after he did. He tied my mother to that bed and beat her, just wailed away on her, raped her repeatedly before he eventually stabbed her with a fork over a hundred times." Edward's arms tightened around me as I broke down crying. "He mutilated her in the most painful of ways so that she couldn't leave him. Eventually he must have tired of her cries and pleas for help because he stabbed her several times in the chest. She laid on that bed, suffering and dying for three days before we were finally able to get into the apartment. By the time we found her, it was too late. She was able to whisper his name then she took her last breath and died in my arms. It took us six months to find him, but once we did he was extradited back to the USA and put on trial. He's now serving a life sentence for her murder." I said as all the breath rushed from my body and tears spilled down my cheeks.

(I added the stabbed in the chest part because she needed some injury that was severe enough that would kill her. While your wounds were harsh, none of them seemed to give a clear cut answer as to why she would have died, make sense?)

I felt Edward's arms wrap tighter around me and I buried my face in his neck and let the sorrow take over. I cried and he held him. He comforted me. He tried to sooth my hurt as best he could. I could feel how stiff and tense he was, clearly this display of emotions made him uncomfortable. I just didn't know if it was because I was in pain, if he was scared that he might have ended up in the same position as my mother or is he was just not used to comforting contact. I had no idea, but he stepped outside of his comfort zone to help me and I appreciated it more than he knew.

That was a huge step for him, I knew.

Eventually, I pulled back and sat up as I tried to dry my face on the tissue from my pocket.

"Thank you, Edward." I finally said.

He looked confused.

"For comforting me." I said so he'd understand. "I knew that couldn't have been easy for you."

"Bella, I..." he ran a hand through his hair and hesitated to speak, unsure of what to say, I think.

"I told you my story, Edward, because I don't want you to end up like my mom. I want you to live, to enjoy all that life has to offer. I know it's not easy what you're going through. I know all the emotions that you are finally free to feel are like a foreign concept to you. But, I told you all of that so that you could see, there is help here for you. People that love you, all around you, that want to do whatever it takes to help, in any way possible." I placed my hand on his cheek as his face went from anger to sadness.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore." He whispered as his eyes grew wide with fear. It clearly scared the hell out of him to have spoken the words out loud.

"I know, baby, but, I'm here. I'll help. Your parent and your sister, they'll help too. You have to let us in. You have to let us help you; you hold all the cards now. You are in charge of your future, not anyone else." His sigh sounded more relieved than tortured so I think I made a difference with my talk. "You have to take it hour by hour, if that's what it takes. She, Tanya," I said through gritted teeth, "will kill you if you go back. And, I can't let that happen." I ran my thumb along his jaw and felt him lean into my touch.

"Thank you, Bella." He said as a tear ran down his cheek.

He still had a long way to go but we'll get there, hopefully together.

A/n: It won't be easy for either of them….but it's a beginning…hoping to get the next chapter written tonight/tomorrow…..and post one or two chapters this weekend. More than likely this one will be completed within the next two weeks…at least that's what I'm aiming for.

'Til then, much love, Kyla