PRM ch35

A/n: Ah...I'm glad to have this chapter out...this is one of my all time fav stories that I've written and the deeper we get into it...the harder it's getting for me to write...because it's sooo intense. But, bare with me...it's coming...it truly is coming;)

I need to give credit to Bnjwl and lvtwilight09 - they are my eyes and ears on this one...they've been with me since it's inception and push me to take it where it needs to go even when I think I've gotten off track. I love them both more than my arms and legs and couldn't truly survive in RL or the fandom w/out either of them. LOVE YOU!

Shout out to Reyes139 - I MISS YOU! Come the fuck home already!

I apologize whole-heartedly for failing to put a warning at the beginning of last chapter. *slaps my wrist* It won't happen again, I promise. There is no abuse in this chapter;)

See you all in a few days, I hope;)

EPOV

My mind reeled with the new information I now had.

Bella's story shocked me, to be honest. How she could stand to be around people like me was beyond my comprehension. I would think that she would want to be as far away from anything having to do with abuse as possible.

Suddenly my mom appeared on the stone path, "Kids, it's time to eat if you are ready to come in." Her voice was soft, almost as if she was afraid to intrude on us, to interrupt our time together.

"Sure, Esme, we'll be right in." Bella said as I was unable to find my voice. It's like she could anticipate what I needed or felt at all times.

I was still very confused about Bella and the desire I had to be around her. Her touch comforted me and her voice calmed me. I had never known anything like it except from my family. Not even in the beginning with Tanya did I feel this way, this intensity.

Mom smiled and turned to walk back into the house. The air buzzed with the sounds of the night as it emerged around us.

I heard Bella sniffle beside me. "Are you okay?" I asked, finally able to speak.

"Yes, it's just a lot for me to talk about my past." She said before she stood and smoothed her clothes back into the perfect façade that she showed the world around her.

"Thank you." I said, quietly. "I know that wasn't easy but I appreciated the fact that you shared that with me."

"I just wanted you to know that you are a survivor who has family and friends around you that are here to help and support you. You don't have to go through this alone." I looked up at her to see a small smile on her face with her eyes warm and full of care.

"I know. It's just different. I'm...I'm different." I confessed, my shame was back in full force again.

Bella reached for my hand and I tangled my fingers in with hers. "That's only natural, Edward." Her soft voice spoke directly to me.

"Let's go eat." She offered as she stood, our hands remained firmly entwined together.

I looked at our hands and warred within myself on whether or not I should let it go. I desperately wanted to hold on to it as tightly as I could but in that same thought it felt wrong to touch another woman in such an intimate way.

"I won't bite you." She joked with me. It made me instantly relax and I tightened my grip on her hand.

Our palms touched and I felt this jolt of something between our hands. It didn't feel bad just odd.

We walked down the pathway back towards the house, hand in hand.

I opened the door for Bella and we were greeted by my family, as they already sat at the table, waiting on the two of us.

"Glad you both could join us." My dad said as he smiled at us.

Our hands reluctantly released each other and we sat side by side. Dinner progressed as I remember it from years past, the food was passed around from person to person.

It was like a normal family dinner, exactly how my life used to be. It was very surreal to be in this setting again.

My family and Bella carried on meaningless conversation as we consumed the fruits of my mother's labors. . I pushed the food around on my plate, I made sure to take a bite here or there, so as to not raise suspicion over my food intake.

"Bella, I understand you have some news from Jacob." My father's voice brought me back to the moment.

Her head nodded as she wiped her mouth with a napkin before she laid it in her lap. "Yes sir, I do. Would you like to hear it now or continue it later?"

"Let's finish our meal and discuss it over coffee in the den." Esme said very matter of fact.

I tensed up at the mention of Jacob. That meant news of Tanya. I'd have to hear about how she planned to destroy my life and the lives of my family. I felt my breath quicken and my hands fisted under the table.

"Edward." I heard Bella whisper at my ear.

"Close your eyes and concentrate on taking a few deep breaths." She instructed me as her hand ran a small circle across my back. "She can't hurt you anymore." Her voice calmed and comforted me.

I closed my eyes and lowered my chin to my chest and tried to listen to the sound of my own breath.

"You are in a safe place surrounded by your family who love you and won't let anything happen to you." Again, she knew how to get through to me...I felt myself relax and my breaths evened out.

I heard voices and movement around me as my family cleared away the dishes off of the table and gave us some privacy. In that moment I was more grateful than ever that I had such a loving family around me.

"Edward, we need to have this discussion with your parents. But if you feel it's too hard for you to do it now, we can wait." Bella's voice was thoughtful as she inquired about my feelings on the topic.

"No, we need to get it over with." I was finally able to say but I couldn't control the tremor in my voice or body.

"I know it seems a little overwhelming, Edward, but, I'm here. I'll be by your side as much or as little as you need me, okay?" I looked up to meet her eyes and found nothing but honesty and care as her brown eyes shone down on me.

"Thank you, Bella." I said, quietly. I looked down at my hands on the table. "I'm not sure why you're so willing to help me, but …." I paused as I felt a lump in my throat and fought to keep the tears in my eyes. "I appreciate it."

She gave me a genuine smile as she brought my chin up so that our eyes met, "Always, Edward."

I took a drink of water and asked for a few minutes to retrieve some of my medications before I joined my family in the den.

Several minutes later I walked into the familiar room to see my parents as they sat on the sofa, Alice was in a side chair and Bella patted the seat next to her on the small love seat.

"Now that we're all here and ready to talk, I have a lot to tell you about what Jacob has been working on..." Bella began to fill us in on all that had happened with his meetings with Tanya, his friends on the police task force and how Tanya's friends had flipped on her.

It made me nauseous to continue to listen but Bella's voice remained calm and low, which helped me concentrate on the plans that she relayed to us.

Once she was finished she relaxed a little and sat back into the couch. There was a thick rim of tension that hung in the air as we all waited for someone to break the silence.

"Are you sure that Carlisle will be safe?" Esme's voice trembled as she spoke, I could see the wetness in her eyes from where I sat.

"If Jacob wasn't sure of that fact, he would never put Carlisle in a compromising situation." Bella sounded reassured and confident.

"Well, you've given us a lot to take in, Bella. Please send Jacob my approval and that I'll wait for his call." It became very quiet in the room for a few seconds before my dad continued. "I think I'm going to turn in for the night." My dad stood and held out a hand for my mom.

"Will do, Carlisle." Bella replied as she stood and went to give my parents a hug goodnight.

Once they left the room, Alice, Bella and I remained silent.

"Do either of you need me for anything?" Alice as she looked between us.

I shook my head and noticed that Bella did the same.

"Then I'm going to excuse myself, as well. I have a lot of homework to work on." She came over and gave me a tight, heart-warming hug before she embraced Bella and left the room.

We were alone, as we stood side by side. It was both a comfort and awkward all at the same time.

"I guess I better go." Bella said as she turned towards me.

"I am kind of tired." I replied and instantly felt dread come over me that she was about to leave. She provided my calm and knew how to soothe me. It felt very unnatural for me to have a pull so intense to another person, again.

"Would you like for me to drive you to your appointments tomorrow?" Bella asked as I felt her eyes on me but for some reason I was unable to look up at her.

"I don't want to be a bother." I whispered.

Her palm came up to my cheek as she slowly raised my head so that we connected with our eyes.

"You, Edward, are never a bother. I'll be here around nine, okay?" She gave me a small smile as I nodded.

I leaned into her touch and knew that it was the softest touch I'd felt in a really, really long time.

If ever.

A/n: Don't ya just wanna hug him? I know I sure do;) He's so confused...he's so broken...it's not going to be easy for his mind to get settled...but, I have faith!

BTW, you can join me on FB (KylaMichelle Hugsalot) or in my group, theonlykyla fanfiction or over on my blog, theonlykylaff (dot) blogspot (dot) com.

Tootles, Kyla