Chapter 35

From that point on, my life very much felt like a bad version of Twilight. I was pregnant, somehow, even though Damon had told me multiple times that vampires cannot procreate. We had looked up everything we could about getting pregnant with a vampire, but all we could find were bad jokes and Twilight fan fiction. While it may sound like a similar situation, my pregnancy was none like Bella Swan's had been. Actually, so far, it had just gone ahead like any other pregnancy would. The baby wasn't growing faster than usual, I didn't have weird bite marks, there were no pains. It was a completely normal pregnancy.

Sadly for me, though, I know what that would mean - I was only a few weeks along when Damon had been put in the coma and I had less than six months left. Unless the baby was extremely premature, I wouldn't get to carry it full term, before I would have to turn or die. I knew I should probably have chosen an abortion, because there was no way I was ever going to see my baby's face… but I couldn't. I just couldn't get myself to give up on my bump, on the only thing I had left from Damon. Bonnie, Caroline and I were crunching the books, almost all day every day. I was trying to keep up with my school, but it was getting more and more difficult to focus, when all I could think about was Damon and my pregnancy. I had been spared the morning sickness, thank God, but my entire body felt swollen and my back was aching after only two months. So, after two months, I took time off from school and focused entirely on making Damon good again. I had been lying in bed with him so many times, putting his hand on my stomach, hoping the feel of it would make him so surprised he would wake up - but no, there was nothing. Bonnie's granddad spent a lot of time with us, also trying to find something in his spellbook that could help Damon.

Caroline and Stefan had gotten an apartment in the same building as us, as soon as they knew Damon wasn't just going to wake up after a few days. It had been a great support to have everyone Damon and I loved so close to us and to see them being so focused on making him better.

Stefan had picked up Nate while we focused on Damon in the apartment, but all of us had gotten a huge shock, when he started smelling and we realized he wasn't going to wake up. It confused me a great deal, since he had been able to wake up from the dead once before, but I really didn't have the time to worry about him. Stefan had buried him out in the forest and that was the first time I had been mad at Damon since he went into the coma. I knew this whole thing came from Nate, somehow, and if he just hadn't tried to kill him, we would never be here. Then he would be with me, trying to figure out what we could do about the pregnancy.

Bonnie had suggested putting me in a coma as well, but Caroline had interrupted and advised against it. She knew the Singer bond better than Bonnie and I and she told us that the bond didn't care if I was in a coma or not. On my birthday, I would have to turn or I would die. There was no way around it.

It seemed like no time had passed at all, and at the same time, it felt like it had been years, and suddenly, we were in the beginning of July and I looked more pregnant than most other people did at 6 months. I knew my little baby wasn't ready to come out yet, and it was painful to go to the doctor's appointments and see her through the sonograms and know that I would never be able to hold her in my arms. I spent more and more time with Damon, lying next to him, crying and asking him for help. I hoped that he would wake up and just hold me, but no. He stayed as still as always, his veins still pulsating.

Damon's POV:

"Damon… it's me…" the voice was distant, but it was so familiar to me. I was floating in nothing and the voice was something I could hold onto. I couldn't quite place whose voice it was, but it made me warm inside, so I knew I had to go towards it.

I felt ridiculous as I tried to swim towards the voice, or float towards it. I was trying to move as fast as I could but I felt like I was getting nowhere.

"Damon… help me," the voice said, this time from the complete opposite direction. It felt pointless, trying to go after the voice. It seemed so far away and like I would never even get close to it. But it was my only hope, so I stuck through the ridiculousness and started moving, floating, swimming, whatever you wanna call it, towards the voice.

It changed direction exactly 6 times, and every single time, I turned around and followed it, wherever it was. It was my only way out of the hell that was nothing, and I wasn't about to give up on finding it. The 6th time, I actually succeeded in following the voice, and as soon as I reached the point I was sure it was coming from, I was pulled through a white light, right into… a lake?

I was absolutely soaked through my clothes, but wherever I was, was nice and warm and the sun was shining on me. I was looking around when I heard a giggle behind me, and I realized whose voice I had been hearing in the nothingness.

Katherine.

Seeing her again was a mess of emotions I hadn't had to deal with in years. First of all it took me right back to being young, being with her and hoping for her affections. But it also brought up the rage of her killing my brother's wife, of her messing everything up for us, and her lying and dragging us around, even though I knew she had only been a kid.

And that was what she looked like right at that moment. She was in her undergarments, which in itself was scandalous enough, and she was giggling, while asking me if she should jump in the water. Her blonde hair was falling softly all the way to her waist. That and her perly white skin almost made her look like she was glowing. I wasn't as mad at her as I thought I would have been, if I ever saw her again. Of all the things I had ever wanted to say to her and to yell at her about, the only thing I could suddenly think about, was that if she hadn't done what she did, I would never have met Elena. I would never have gotten to go on the adventure my life had been, ever since my heart started beating, all those years ago.

"Then you understand why I'm not sorry about what I did."

I turned to Katherine in the water and looked at her. She had a sad smile on her lips, playing with the water around us.

"You should be sorry, Katherine. I know you never took responsibility for anything, but you have to for this," I said. She sighed and looked down, into the water.

"I do take responsibility, Damon, but I've been watching you and Stefan ever since, and you have thrived since then… if neither of you had turned back then, you would have lead miserable lives. You needed the extra years. You both needed to find your soulmates. And you needed to hate me for those years and hate what I turned you into, but it all has a greater meaning… and I think you've both realized that," she said, her innocent blue eyes sad with guilt.

"You were like a child, back then," I whispered, remembering how child-like she had indeed been. We had never really talked about it, because everything was either about Stefan or sex. It had never been about how she never ever took responsibility for her actions and the way she was acting around me, sometimes reminded me of a 15 year old.

"I was. And I was confused. I liked you. A lot. And I could see us together, but… Stefan was my Singer. And I'm sure you understand that feeling now," she said, her voice so much softer and so much more mature than it had been when she was alive. Well, as alive as a vampire is. And I did understand her reasons better than I did before Elena came into my life. I hadn't thought of it until Elena had overheard us talk about Katherine, and I had told her the entire story. As I had been telling it to her, I understood the fight that must have been going on inside her head and heart. I disagreed with her choices, but I had understood the reasoning behind it.

"I don't agree with the choices I made either," Katherine said softly, smiling at me. She was swimming around in the water, her hair getting wet and seeming more heavy. I didn't move, other than keeping myself above the surface. I was too afraid to break whatever magic this was, and end up back in the nothingness. Maybe Katherine knew how I would get out of this in the end.

I had a feeling that wherever my physical body was, I was unconscious, and if I had been away for as long as it felt, Elena would be worried. I felt a pang of pain, thinking of Elena, being worried about me instead of the other way around. As I were right now, I couldn't protect her. But my heart was still beating, so hopefully, she was still alive.

"Then why make them?" I asked, watching her swim around. She smiled at me, a devilish smile I had never seen on her lips before.

"Oh, come on, Damon, you're smarter than that," she said. I frowned. This was so far from the Kathrine I had known back then. She never actually meant anything bad by what she did - she was a confused teenager, mentally. But this… this was new.

And before I could ask her anything else, the scenery around me changed. I was back in my room and my father was standing in front of me. I immediately recognized the scene and only had to look down at my legs to realize I was 14 again and my pants were ripped. He was furious, and he seemed to tower over me, seeming more scary than he had been when I had ripped his head off.

His hand was raised and I could see the vein pulsating on his forehead. It came down upon me like lightening, but this time, I was quicker than I had been back then. I caught his arm and it was like I was growing up in the speed of lightening. Suddenly I was the same height as him and I felt like I used to. His eyes were as large as tea cups as I pushed his arm away and stared him down.

"You try abusing someone your own size," I said, enjoying the way I was rising above him.

"Sorcery!" he said, the scared face turning into new anger. He'd had that same reaction, when I had shown him what I had become and then killed him.

"No, father, not sorcery. Vampire. The best thing that ever happened to me," I said, smirking at him. This is what I had wished I had done back then. Letting him see what had happened to me and that I had grown from what he had tried to beat me into.

"Vampire?" he asked and his face fell, "you're dead?".

I frowned. This was not the reaction I had expected from him. The anger had gone and he had turned white with dread.

"Yes, I'm dead. Apparently that was what had to happen for me to actually stand up to you," I said, trying to ignore whatever had just happened.

"My oldest boy… dead…" he said and reached out to touch my skin. I frowned even more and a searing pain went through my head, as soon as his hand connected with my skin. It was the first time since I had been a very little child, that he had touched me without wanting to hurt me. It felt wrong.

I was speechless. And as he touched my cheek, I grew smaller again, turning into the child I had once been. And my father embraced me for the first time I could ever remember and tears came to my eyes. This was all I had ever wanted as a child, and all I could never have, and now, in this strange vision, I had it.

I could feel the scenery change around me again, but I tried desperately to hold onto my father, trying to hold onto the embrace I had been missing for so long, but suddenly I was 10, and I was in a dark room, with weird fumes and a smell I had never been able to forget, even 300 years later. I didn't want to turn to the bed, because I knew exactly what was in there.

It was exactly as I remembered - the bed was so big and it felt so wrong. I had to walk up a tiny ladder, in order to sit by the bed. I didn't want to do it, but I knew I had to. And while I knew it was going to be scary, I had to see her again.

So I stepped up the little ladder and looked at my mother, lying in bed, all weak and sick. She was awake - something that had been so rare back then, and looking at me with a loving smile. I sat on the bed, taking her hand in mine and looking at her, trying to memorize her face as much as I had back then.

"Damon… my child. Do you understand what's happening?" she said, her voice weak and weary. Tears were falling down my cheeks again, and I couldn't do anything to stop them. I just nodded and stroked the back of her hand gently.

"I'm going to be with the angels soon," she said, coughing interrupting her speech, "and I won't be in pain anymore… but you can't come with me. You'll have to stay and take care of papa."

She had tried to get me to call my father Papa for most of my life, but it had never stuck. It was too loving and it felt disconnected from the father I knew. So I never used it.

"Why do you have to be with the angels," I heard myself say. It was weird - it wasn't something I wanted to say, but it was something that just came out, without me wanting it.

"That's just the way it is, love," she said, reaching out to stroke my cheek, just like my father had just done.

Her hand was extremely warm against my cold skin, way warmer than it should be. Her sickness was going to kill her before too many more hours and I would be effectively alone with my father and my life would be ruined. I couldn't exactly blame her for dying.

"And yet you do blame me…"

My mouth fell open, as my mother said the words I didn't want to hear. She smiled at me, but her smile didn't reach her eyes.

"How…"

"Oh, Damon, honey, nothing in your mind is private. We can all see it. Miss Katherine, your father, me… others. You're not alone in your own head, not here," she said, her hand falling away from my cheek. I had no idea how to respond to that bit of information, nor the fact that she knew I had in fact blamed her for leaving me.

"I'm sorry, Mama… I didn't want to blame you, but you left me…" I said, my voice strained and full of emotion I hadn't felt in years. I felt more and more like the 10 year old boy I was in the shape of right then and there and it wasn't exactly a nice feeling. The self-control I had fought so hard for was completely gone, and I felt naked and vulnerable. "How can you blame me for leaving you? Do you think I got sick on purpose? Do you really think everything in the world revolves around you?" she said, her voice turning evil, effectively making me feel sick. It was something I had been ashamed of for so long. My father had told me how selfish I was for blaming her and for being upset that she left. He had beat me so many times for crying in her room and even though my mind had become less and less focused on her over the years, I still blamed her.

And I knew it was dumb.

"No, mama, but I missed you… it was the confused feelings of a little boy," I began, trying to find some sort of justification.

"Your brother was even younger, yet he does not blame me… I have always felt such regret, that I didn't get to know your brother as well, knowing that he was so much more successful than you. The perfect son, and I got to spend time with the black sheep," she said, her voice growing stronger and stronger with each painful word she spat. I was shrinking, becoming smaller and smaller, my mind getting overwhelmed with what was reality and what wasn't. And as I grew smaller, people started turning up next to my mother.

My father, yelling. Katherine, yelling. Stefan, beating me until I stopped breathing. Stefan's wife dead on the floor, her stomach ripped open. The countless of girls I had killed during my years, yelling, some of them pleading me to spare their lives. Kelly, her body moving in strange ways, yelling at me, as though she was under dirt. And as the noise became louder and louder and louder, right in front of me, was Elena.

But she didn't look okay. She was weak, she was on the ground, crying, begging, her body moving as though she was being tortured. And in the middle of all the yelling, crying and screaming, I heard her whisper.

"Help me, Damon…"

And while the screams and cries of my victims, of all the guilt in my life was ripping through my head, I knew I had to act. I had to save Elena, whatever the cost. So I lunged, blindly, baring my fangs, ready to kill whoever was hurting my Singer. My Elena. My only real reason for living.

Elena's POV:

A searing pain went through my entire body as Damon's fangs pierced the skin in my neck, sucking harder than he had ever done before. At first, I was just relieved that he was showing any signs of life, but I quickly felt how much blood he was taking from me - too much. I started yelling, trying to push him off, but the more I pushed, the harder he held on to my arms, pinning them to my sides. His eyes were red, the veins on his eyes darker than they had ever been and a growl was coming from his chest, letting me know he was not playing.
I kept screaming, but I knew nothing was going to happen. Bonnie had left to get groceries a while ago and Stefan and Caroline had gone home to prepare for my final days, ever. The sides of my vision were turning black and I looked down at my very pregnant stomach, one last time, trying to say goodbye to the baby, so close to being born. I knew I was going to die, but I had never imagined it would be at the hand of the man I loved more than anything else.

There we go, chapter 35! I was SO uncertain as to where I wanted to go with this, so I hope you like how it turned out - if not, tell me! if you did like it, tell me too! I wanna hear your thoughts. See you next week!