When we last left the rebels, they were settling in for the second half of their train journey to Hogwarts. Fred and George took the opportunity to warn them about Snape quizzing them on the first day about things that wouldn't be covered until the end of the year. They also suggested that Harry read his entire potions text if possible, since Snape was going to target him as he was the local celebrity.

And thus we found Fred and George planning out an elaborate prank, while Hermione tutored Harry on the entire potions text they would be studying that year.

Thus also did Draco Malfoy find them, while panting and sweating profusely. Apparently he'd been walking a long ways before coming upon this cabin, almost like he'd been expecting Harry at the opposite end of the train, about where Ron was.

"Potter... what are you doing with this Mudblood and these Mudblood lovers?" the bottle blonde sneered at our scarred protagonist, "You should know where the real power lies... us pure bloods have to stick together... I'm going to be in Slytherin... it would benefit you to do the same."

Harry looked at Draco, and then at the others in his cabin. First was Hermione who was just as confused as he is, and then at the twins that looked ready to rip him to pieces. Finally he turned back to Draco and asked. "Who are you?"

"I am Draco Malfoy, heir to the Malfoy line, and my father is a powerful wizard," the weasel faced future Slytherin proclaimed proudly.

"Well Draco... I'll pass if being Slytherin meant I'd have to share a room with you for even a minute..." Harry stated dryly as he turned back to his potions textbook. "Now kindly sod off so I can study this..."

"It seems the fame has gone to your head Potter, maybe I should take you down a notch..." Malfoy snarled, right before a finger tapped him on the shoulder, and he came face to face with another Weasley.

"No fighting on the train," the stern faced redhead stated firmly while his prefect badge stood out brightly against his Gryffindor trim. "Leave them alone and get back to your seat... Fredrick, George, release Ronald."

Right behind the prefect, a foot-long slug slithered past while its owner, a whale of a boy waddled along. "Please leave my Ronald alone, I can't chase after him..."

"We'll take care of Ronnikins Percy, but first, have you met Harry here?" Fred asked congenially, while George hid their plans casually, and Draco slunk off like he'd been thwarted by a terrible foe.

Percy turned to look at Harry, with a huge grin on his face. "Hello there Harry, I'm Percy Weasley, and I'm a prefect for Gryffindor. I hope that you'll be joining me... can I see the scar?"

"Oi Percy, that's very rude!" George scolded the older brother with a deep frown.

"How would you like it if he asked to see the ingrown toenail you have? Get out of here!" Fred continued with a bark to his voice. "Out! Out! Out! What would Professor MacGonagall think if she'd heard you ask that? For shame!"

After herding Percy out and slamming the door shut in front of him, Fred turned around and smiled apologetically. "Sorry about him... it would seem that you're being famous made him forget the manners mom drilled into him..."

"Don't worry about it, you guys make up for him..." Harry answered with a happy smile on his face, unused to having someone stick up for him, but liking it all the more. "But what'd that Draco git mean about Hermione being a mudblood?"

"Oh, that's pure rubbish that pure-bloods like to tote around, supposedly with no muggle ancestors they're better at magic, but I bet Hermione here is going to outshine him by orders of magnitude... And for that matter, you're a half-blood, since you have muggles in your ancestory..." George explained with a snarl to his voice. "We Weasley's are pure-bloods, but we like muggles, and a few of us, like Fred and myself, have great respect for them."

"Our dad is the head of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, and thinks that muggles could show the wizarding world some new life," Fred continued, "However, we're not so sure..."

"About mum..." George added sadly, "Lately she's been..."

"Obsessed with our younger siblings...."

"Ron and Ginny..."

"Becoming Harry's..."

"Friends or stalker."

"Anyone ever told you that's very annoying?" Hermione asked rhetorically, while indicating an ingredient on the list. "Remember this one is also known as Monkshood and Wolfsbane Harry, it's a good source for a trick question."

"Right then..." the twins stated after the utter rebuffing at the hands of Hermione, though they seemed to just smile all the larger for it.

The rest of the trip was completed in companionable silence, save for Fred and George wondering if they forgot something and Hermione and Harry talking about potions. A few miles out from the school, Fred and George started pulling on their robes, and suggested that the others do the same.

At the station, they bid the pair of first years a fond farewell and hopped in a carriage with a few other Ravenclaw students. Harry and Hermione were swallowed up by the flood of first years and ushered by Hagrid onto the boats. He took special care to seat Hermione and Harry right in front of him, so they could talk on the way.

As the boats were spirited away towards the shining beacon that would be their next seven years of education, and a majority of their life, no one noticed that the boats were light by one furious redhead hammering away at the window of his cabin near the back end of the train. Silencing spells were such a marvel when used properly after all, and the twins had many years of experience at the receiving end of it by their mother. Was it any wonder that they took the time to learn that first outside of class?

As the first years were led through the wandering halls of Hogwarts, MacGonagall briefed them on the the houses, and the points. Just before they reached the doors to the main hall, Harry asked a question that he'd been curious about. "What do we get if we win the house cup Professor?"

"Your house's colors are chosen for the end of year feast, and the house cup is displayed in your common room for the entire year. Also the house gets put on the plaque in the main entryway," MacGonagall answered calmly with a warm smile, before turning to open the doors leading to the welcoming feast.

Harry turned to Hermione who seemed to be upset about something. "Bragging rights? It's bribery with nothing to back it... all for the sake of making us behave? They can keep the house cup..."

It was at that moment that Draco spoke up. "Of course a filthy mudblood wouldn't understand, the house cup is a mark of pride and honor to whoever gets it. It shows off the superiority of the house that possesses it."

The response from the two muggle raised first years was cut off by a singing hat. At the end, Harry put his face into his hands and stifled a sound that could almost have been a sob, Hermione sighed and shook her head. "We could do better even if we had only had five minutes to write it..."

"How would you like to prove that?" a voice said from Hermione's left, causing Harry to look across her and find Fred standing there with a huge grin on his face. "Here, you left this on the train... or at least that's what MacGonagall is being told..."

Hermione took the paper that Fred was holding out with a confused look on her face. After he'd flitted off, arriving at his spot where two chairs were marked as reserved for H. Granger, and H. Potter. How no one noticed the three foot tall sparkling letters, with fireworks and sparklers shooting out from it, neither of them could understand. However it was after Hermione unraveled the paper that she really questioned the sanity of the twins.

The plan for this trick was epic in scale, execution, and design. But it severely lacked in the creativity of the actual performance. Suddenly a wicked smile spread across Hermione's face, as she tucked away the paper. "I think it's best you don't know what has been planned Harry... just be ready when your name's called..."

"Right..." Harry answered, as he heard Hermione's name being shouted by MacGonagall. His first friend was being sorted right now, and all he could do was pray that she sorted into a house he could get into. Maybe with the twins, since they seemed like a fun sort, and they'd make the years here interesting.

"RAVENCLAW!" Harry heard, feeling his heart leap for joy as the cheer sounded and Hermione took up her chair, which transfigured itself into a regal throne, along with half the table's chairs turning into slightly ostentatious thrones. She didn't seem to notice a thing, instead she started scribbling frantically on the paper from her robe's pocket with what looked like a bit of charcoal, with comments about additions by the twins.

As the names continued, Harry found himself focusing more and more on the fact that he didn't want to be alone in a house without his new friends around. He feared that he would be put into Slytherin, which seemed to be horrendously uptight and an entire section of them looked to be the result of inbreeding.

Turning his attention to the sorting hat, he found a chubby boy, Neville Longbottom her reminded himself, settling nervously on the seat. His pleasant smile and honest expression seemed to settle Harry's nerves as he wasn't alone in worrying about being sorted. When the hat proclaimed him to be Hufflepuff, Harry saw a look of surprise cross two of the teacher's faces. First was Dumbledore, but the other was a oily, black haired man.

He took the next moment to watch Draco Malfoy march up proudly to the stool, and was shocked at how fast the hat, which barely touched his head, proclaim him as a Slytherin. The only reason that he was shocked, was he didn't think the hat had even touched his head.

As the Slytherin finished cheering for their newest member, Dumbledore started calling his name, but only got to 'Har' before a blaring trumpet fanfare echoed through the hall. As he heard the doors lock behind him, he vowed two things. One: He would kill the twins. And two: he wouldn't complain about his cupboard under the stairs again if he would just be taken home right now.

"MAKE WAY FOR MAGE HARRY!
SAY HEY! IT'S MAGE HARRY!"

That sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach opened up into a great void as the twins suddenly popped up on either side of him, dressed in top hat and tails. And then they continued singing.

"Hey! Clear the way of the old'n Bizzare!" the twins ordered, indicating the entire teachers table in a single sweep. "Hey you!" They shouted as Harry pivoted on the ball of his foot and tried to make it out of the area, apparently it wasn't him they were pointing at as they continued on somersaulting through the air to end up at Malfoy's side. "Let us through!"

Harry broke and ran for the door, which sadly had locked itself, sealing him to his fate. Not that he didn't exhibit the wit of a Ravenclaw by trying to beat through it with a borrowed pole-ax offered by a nearby suit of armor. "It's a bright new star!" Harry heard from too close by for comfort, as his arms were suddenly snatched up by the twins.

"Oh come!" they shouted happily as they dragged the struggling Harry along the main walkway. "Be the first of your house to meet his eye!"

The twins loosened their grip on the last word to do a dramatic bit of posing, which allowed Harry to slip free and make another attempt at escape, this time straight at the windows. Thankfully, Hermione seemed to read his thoughts, as she sang out. "Make way! Here he comes! Ring bells!" at that, Harry knew she wasn't supporting his departure plans, instead just carrying on with whatever song it was that had be-spelled the entire Hogwarts school. The last command was met with the entire Ravenclaws table clinking their glasses with knives.

"Bang the drums!" Hermione ordered again, and Harry turned away from the twins that had just appeared in front of him to prevent him from sprining out the window in time to see the entire Slytherin table bang their heads against the table so hard, that more than a few of them didn't get back up.

"Oh! You're gonna love this guy!" Hermione continued the torment, as all the unsorted first years grabbed Harry and lifted him up on their shoulders like a sports hero being carried off the field by his teammates. Only this group was carrying him towards the stool on which the sorting hat was waiting.

Harry caught sight of the entirety of Gryffindor raise their goblets to Harry as they began singing again. "MAGE HARRY! VALIANT IS HE!"

"Harry Potter!" the red and gold group continued proudly swinging their goblets in time almost as though in the midst of a drinking song. "Strong as ten regular mages, definitely!"

Harry felt some part of himself curl up and die, making him wonder if triple murder followed by suicide wasn't a wonderful way to end his first night at Hogwarts. And then Percy Weasley stood up and held up his goblet proudly towards Harry. "He faced down you-know-who!"

Next was some guy that Harry'd seen talking about something called Quidditch, he'd been bragging that his team would win this year. But that wasn't important, for he joined Percy in the toast towards Harry, and finished the rest of the sentence. "Without ev'n reaching age two!"

Suddenly all of Gryffindor stood up and raised their goblets towards the now gobsmacked child savior of the Wizarding World. "Who sent that prat to his doom? Why, MAGE HARRY!"

Really, deafness would be a great blessing any moment now. Maybe some blindness to go along with it, and a severe bout of amnesia, and how about a coma while he was asking for the wonderful blessings of not experiencing or remembering the song he was currently suffering through.

"He's got several million galleons," Harry heard the Ravenclaws begin, as the wall behind them took on the appearance of the main floor of Gringotts. His jaw dropped open when Griphook waved to them with a pleasant sneer, instead of a scowl.

Somehow the Goblin not even remotely near Hogwarts got sucked in to the song as well, as he sang "And that's just in Vault 5-7-3!"

As Harry pondered about his wealth, as the Goblin's verse sounded as if he had much more than just the one vault to his name, a few students would ask why Dumbledore looked markedly uncomfortable at the mention of the vault.

Suddenly various books, all with titles about him, the-boy-who-lived, and the defeater of Voldemort/you-know-who, floated in front of his face, a few dozen Ravenclaws causing the tomes to levitate. He had to admit that spell could be very useful in the future. Sadly that didn't distract him from the next lines. "He's got so many biographies..."

"We know he's in so many books, we just want to look..." Half the table started dancing their way out the door, kicking their legs out in a rather flashy manner. "So we're off to the library!"

Harry understood that the rushed time-frame meant that the rhyme wouldn't be perfect, but he really wondered about the very upset look to Hermione's face. Instead of getting up, she merely settled back in her throne and put her feet up on the table. And then Harry knew, she wasn't innocent, so he couldn't spare her. It was a shame he'd have to lose a friend so soon after making his first, but if that is what life demanded...

His happy thoughts of murdering his best friends were interrupted suddenly and horrendously by the entirety of Hufflepuff standing up and flashing jazz hands at him. "MAGE HARRY! FABULOUS HE!"

He couldn't help but notice that more than a few of the guys in Slytherin looked more than a little interested in him than at the word fabulous. He thought that maybe it might be the best idea to avoid any situations where he had to bend over in front of them. "Harry Potter!" broke his thoughts up nicely as the Hufflepuff choir continued.

"Genuflect! Show some respect!" the least mentioned house shouted proudly as they dropped to their knees, heads bowed in submission. "Down on one knee!"

Suddenly Harry found himself within inches of the chair of fate, and the dread of his sorting was filling him even more than the dread of this song continuing ever could. "Now, try your best to stay calm," the choir sang helpfully, while Harry countered with a mental example of how little he believed that would happen.

"Best visit the salon!" the Hufflepuffs continued, before all jutting a hand out at Harry being forced down into the stool and magically glued to it, thanks to the twins. The hat was dropped on his head by Hermione, and he mercifully was robbed of his sight. Sadly his hearing remained. "And meet his spectacular coterie!"

The atmosphere of the entire area changed, and he felt something disturbing happening as a voice infiltrated his brain. 'Be glad you can't see this my boy... now... let's see... you would do well in any of the houses... any preferences?'

Harry thought of his friends, and their acceptance in Ravenclaw. It felt right being with them there, almost as if some grand plan designed to turn him into a puppet of an egomaniac with delusions of grandeur was being torn asunder. Thankfully he still couldn't see as the sound of Slytherin males singing. "I'm too sexy for this song... too sexy for this song... so sexy it hurts!"

'That's my cue to part lad, and don't worry, you're not going over there.... you're going to...' the voice broke off before Harry heard it shouting out loud to the audience, while Fred and George shouted out a dismayed "CUT!".

"RAVENCLAW!" Harry's ears heard, to be greeted by a strangled noise, two bodies hitting the ground, and then silence. Blessed silence.

Then as if people finally realized what was going on, a ripple of applause spread through Ravenclaw, missing a good amount do to missing students. Harry was lifted off the stool, and divested of the hat, before being frog marched to his reserved seat, sending more fireworks into the air, and the rest of the chairs transfiguring into thrones.

Faintly he heard the black haired teacher sneer to Dumbledore, "At least he's not letting the fame go to his head, hmm?"

Dumbledore had the good grace to move his plate to the side, before using the table as a concussion inducer.