Chapter 3: Feathers…
Previously: "So how are you?"
"Spectacular, and you Gabriel?" Balthazar answers from his perch (on top of the Impala).
"Can't be beat, brother. What are you doing here?" Gabriel asks pleasantly, his wings arching high above his head aggressively.
"Chill, bro. I'm here Cassie's behalf. He asked me to keep watch over Singer's place just incase Dean showed his ugly mug." Balthazar answers with an easy swagger that eludes most Angels.
"And what is our little Cassie bear up to these days?" Gabriel asks, as Balthazar lifts his wings and glides to the ground.
"He's running Heaven now, or haven't you heard?" Balthazar replies, his spine straightening as he speaks to his - once upon a time - superior.
"Our little Cassie's all grown up now - is he?" Gabriel says tauntingly with a soft smile on his face.
"Much to Raphael's dismay. Our brother hasn't taken to Cas's plans so well, unlike much of the host." Balthazar tells Gabriel, eyebrow raised in question. Gabriel stands silent for a moment, before nodding to his brother and taking flight without a word. Balthazar immediately returns to Heaven intending to seek out Castiel and give him the news he has been waiting months for.
Gabriel alights in the middle of Bobby's living room, and finds both brothers sitting on the sofa. "How's it going in here boys?" Gabriel asks, and then pops a lollipop into his mouth.
"We're good, you?" Sam asks, his body language asking Gabriel to take his place next to his mate. Dean is still getting used to their relationship, but he doesn't say anything aloud when Gabriel suddenly appears practically in Sam's lap.
"Don't let me interrupt your brotherly bonding time, Sammy. Just pretend I'm not here." Gabriel says, nuzzling Sam, while Dean rolls his eyes and gets to his feet.
"You're not interrupting anything - dude." Dean mutters and walks away, needing a break. He heads upstairs and gets out of his hunting gear and takes a few moments for himself. Dean can't help but notice when he comes back downstairs that even though Sam and Gabe are in the same positions, as when he left them, Sam's clothes are different and he looks much more relaxed.
"You guys stickin' round for dinner?" Dean asks, as he comes back into the living room.
"Sounds good, what's the plan?" Sam responds after a few seconds.
"Uh… I was thinking about heading into town, maybe, that diner over on 3rd?" Dean says, rubbing his neck and then immediately whipping his arm back down to his side with an audible huff.
"Sure, sounds good. Gabe?" Sam replies and then looks to his bondmate for what Sam thought would be an unnecessary response.
"Actually I have somewhere I need to be, you two head on out without me and have a good time. Just give me a call when your ready to go home and I'll swing by and pick you up." Gabriel says genially, as they get to their feet. A quick kiss on the lips, a peck really in the grand scheme of things, and Gabriel disappears leaving the Winchester siblings alone once again.
"Shall we, then?" Dean prods and heads towards the front door.
"What about Bobby?" Sam asks hopefully, as he follows his older brother.
"He's out, picking up supplies or something like that. He said he'd be back sometime late tonight, and not to wait up." Dean informs Sam, as they close up the house and head out to the Impala. The brother's fall back into an easy routine, built on years of living out of each other's pockets, and were soon walking into the marginally busy diner on 3rd.
They slide into a booth with good sight lines and after looking over the menu for a moment. Sam mutters, "looks like the menu hasn't changed since we were here last."
Dean nods towards the counter where they have pie on display, "Yep, not much has changed round here. Cept you and I." Sam's head snaps up at his comment, and he narrows his eyes and retorts harshly. "You haven't changed a damn bit, and leave Gabriel out of this! You don't know what you're talking about Dean."
"No can do Sammy, I gotta know. What the hell? He's the trickster, for God's sake!" Dean whisper yells at his not so little brother. Sam takes a few moments to breathe deeply while he attempts to structure his rebuttal. He and Gabe had of course talked about what he would say to his brother once he finally got over himself, but in the face of Dean's ire and ignorance all his plans go right out the window, and he feels like he is sixteen years old all over again.
"Look, I know this came as a shock to you, and all, but you should know that Gabe and I…" Sam starts to respond but the next part gets caught in his throat.
"You and Gabe what? Sammy?" Dean prods impatiently.
"Well, it's just that… I mean, before the whole Pagan God meet up to go up against Lucifer thing, Gabe and I were kinda…" Sam struggles to explain further and Dean doesn't hesitate to jump on his weakness.
"So what you're saying is, you hid something-else from me, Sam?" Dean asks point blank, his brother's behaviour during the lead up to Sam's swan song at Stull cemetery suddenly making a lot more sense to him.
Sam has the decency to look ashamed, and the waitress picks this highly charged moment to interrupt to ask for their orders. One salad and one burger order later, Sam takes a chance and looks into his brother's eyes. Floored by the hurt and disbelief he sees there, he attempts to explain.
"I know I promised I wouldn't keep anything from you again, but Gabe was hard to wrap even my head around. There was so much else going on, what with the apocalypse and all. I guess I thought I could figure out what was going on between us first before I told you. Then he died, then well - you know - and so I just never got the chance, until… I know finding out like that was a douche move, but sometimes it's a little, I don't know - daunting - telling you stuff like this, you know?" Sam speaks his stilted peace; as Dean silently listens to his baby brother, the brother he practically raised, tell him that he didn't feel comfortable telling him what was going on in his life.
"No Sammy I don't, but I guess it's something that we'll have to work on or something." Dean tells Sam just as the blond waitress that until then Dean hadn't even noticed delivers their food. Dean gives her his trademark grin, that never fails to elicit a blush, and is often answered in kind. Sam huffs an annoyed breath as he tucks into his salad and attempts to ignore his brothers flirting. Some things never change. Sam soon finds himself disgusted by his brothers eating habits even more so than his flirting, when the waitress finally leaves them to go see to her other tables.
They eat in silence and Sam is grateful that Dean doesn't bat an eye when the check comes, since Gabriel simply mojo's most things they need into existence. The ride back is filled with the familiar guitar riffs of Zeppelin's II, which alleviates some of the homesickness Sam's been dealing with, since Gabriel returned him topside. Meanwhile Dean is quietly rehashing the revealing conversation they'd had at the diner. By the time they pull up the Bobby's, and pile out, Dean's not sure he could have done anything different, but he's sure it's his fault anyways.
The brothers shuffle into the house and silently agree to congregate in the living room. Dean reaches for the remote first and Sam sighs quietly. Dean knows he should attempt to talk to Sam some more, after being separated for so long, but it's easier to use the TV as a crutch to enable his avoidance. Sam looks inward and accesses his bond with Gabe to see if he's still busy, doing what ever it is Archangel's in hiding do.
Both brothers are so lost in thought that they miss the quiet rustling of feathers, a dead give-away to an Angel's appearance.
And so Castiel is free to observe his charge and Sam unnoticed for a few moments. That they are deep in thought is obvious in their facial expressions, even if Castiel didn't know these humans so well he would know this instantly. While they sit on the same couch. They are as far apart as physically possible and have gone so far as to turn away from one another.
Castiel is startled out of his staring by Dean's sudden out burst, "Christ! Cas, we gotta get you a bell!" Castiel lets the corner of his lip turn up in answer, "Hello Dean. Sam." And simply continues to stare at his charge. Sam clears his throat and calls for his mate. "Hey Cas! So, um, listen Dean it's great to see you and all, but I really should be going." Gabriel arrives just as he finishes his sentence and has gotten to his feet.
"Wait, you're leaving already? But you just got here!" Dean cries out, as he too jumps to his feet. The blue eyed Angel's wings fidget, and the sound of rustling feathers can be heard, as he observes the others. "And I can come back anytime, just give me a call. Okay Dean?" Sam tells his brother softly, his long arm wrapping securely around Gabriel's shoulders, as he speaks. "Fine." Dean huffs, and crosses his arms in front of his body. Gabriel stays unusually silent during the exchange and even more so says nothing and they disappear.
Leaving Castiel and Dean Winchester alone in Bobby Singer's living room more than eight months after Castiel told Dean about Angel bonds. Awkward doesn't cover it, and neither want to speak first, both determined to be the last to look away. They might have gone on like this for hours if Bobby hadn't arrived. He comes in the back door quietly, but once he starts rooting around in the fridge neither Castiel nor Dean can ignore his presence any longer.
"Hey Bobby, how'd the errands go?" Dean shouts towards the kitchen, and since the staring contest has broken he decides to retreat to the kitchen. Dean uses the fact that he is a guest in the man's home as his excuse for running away from the conversation he knows he has to have with Castiel. Castiel closes his eyes briefly and allows himself be grateful that Dean is only avoiding him, and not yelling at him.
Unsure of his welcome Castiel stays in the living room, as Dean and Bobby pass short grunts and half words back and forth. Its a language filled with shrugs and facial ticks that are only understood after years of practice. It seems an age to Castiel even though he has lived millenniums he finds waiting for Dean Winchester to have a strange effect on the passage of time. Dean returns to the living room to find Castiel's head tilted and so deep in thought that he for once in the years they've known one another startles the angel.
"Dude! What are you thinking so hard about?" Dean queries, with a good-natured chuckle.
"You." Castiel answers truthfully, as deadpan as ever. Dean swallows slowly around the lump that's suddenly lodged in his throat. Dean rubs a hand over his face roughly and regards his angel with an expression that has Castiel standing straighter, even though that is technically impossible.
"So… I guess we have a few things to talk about, hey?" Dean says deciding at the last minute to just dive right in, screw putting this off.
"I, yes, that would be wise. Dean." Castiel answers and leaves the floor to Dean, allowing the hunter to set the pace. The minutes or maybe seconds it takes Dean to get his words in order allow the sounds of Bobby's house to rise to distracting levels.
The whine of the fridge, the creaking of the floor boards in the back of the house where Bobby is hiding out. The static of a radio station lost to the remoteness of the salvage yard are almost too much in the moment. If it weren't for the ticking of the clock in the study they might have slipped back into one of their epic staring jags.
"So right, okay well I guess I should start by apologizing for over reacting." Dean said without breaking eye contact.
"No Dean you had every right to…" Castiel interrupts, only to have Dean interrupt him right back.
"Dude no, I really didn't. I mean yeah you should have told me, when it first came up, but I can understand why you didn't. I know I would have probably done the same thing." Dean tells Castiel truthfully.
"I highly doubt that, Dean." Castiel says so sure of his opinion.
"Dude you have way to much faith in me." Dean says his anger leaking into his tone.
Castiel's eyes flash, "Do not speak of yourself like that Dean. You are the best man I know." And Castiel is so passionate, so desperate to have Dean believe his words that thunder claps loud overhead punctuating his words in a way that mere mortals are unable.
Dean grabs the back of his neck, feeling awkward in the face of Castiel's fervent belief in him. Castiel takes a step back having inexplicably found himself only inches from his charge. The sound of rustling feathers distracts Dean from his internal freak-out at the rush of heat that had exploded throughout his veins at finding Castiel close enough that he could feel the higher than normal body heat his vessel seemed to radiate.
"Why can I hear that, when you're not about to fly off, now?" Dean asks too distracted to realize he may have revealed too much. Castiel visibly starts at his question at first confused it takes him a few seconds to replay the last few minutes back and then he couldn't keep a tiny smile from breaking out, as he replies. "It's the result of you accepting the bond, Dean. It's the first step."
Dean takes an audible breath and holds it, his eyes wide, his body frozen, his mind completely locked up. The overwhelming sensations flooding his system have his eyelids fluttering and eyes rolling back into his head, much to the distress of Castiel who doesn't hesitate to reach out and pluck his hunter from his suddenly unstable legs. With all the effort of lifting a feather Castiel gathers Dean up into his arms and flies them to the couch. Using a tendril of grace to investigate, he internally berates himself for his carelessness.
As soon as Castiel withdraws him grace from the bond, Dean's eyes flutter again and he lets out a loud groan. Heat floods Castiel's cheeks at his vessel's response to Dean while so indisposed. "What. was. that?" Dean asks his voice rough with emotion.
"My apologies Dean, I lost control of the bond for a moment and it overwhelmed you." Castiel admits, and hangs his head in shame.
This has the same effect that a jolt of electricity would and Dean bolts upright immediately his eyes wide. "What?" He cries out, knee jerk like, then blushes at his outburst and quickly thinks of how to back track since he is attempting to not over react to this whole bond thing after the last time. Castiel meanwhile steels himself for the blast of outrage that he expects to follow, and flounders in its absence.
"Dean?" Castiel asks finally breaking yet another long minute of silence.
"Is that what it feels like all the time?" Dean wonders aloud, his ears burning at the chick flick topic.
"No, a completed bond normally fades to the background unless it is actively accessed." Castiel answers, while he attempts to tamp down the burst of hope that has flared painfully in his chest constricting his vessels ability to breathe.
"Oh." Dean utters softly thinking back to the overwhelming sensation of love and safety and heat and comfort so strong he has no frame of reference and felt completely out of his comfort zone. Dean has difficulty naming the feelings, even picking them out individually from the massive all encompassing blast he had received. They were so lost in their own thoughts and struggles with their physical reactions that neither hears Bobby's approach.
"You idjit's just gonna stare at one another all night?" Bobby grouses irritably from the doorway leading to the kitchen. Dean and Castiel immediately lurch apart and make an unnecessary effort to appear casual. Bobby rolls his eyes, "Well I'm turning in, and so make sure you lock up, hey Dean?" The automatic response takes too long and Bobby is already half way back to his room, when Dean finally answers. "Yeah sure Bobby, night!"
"It is late, you require sleep, Dean. I need to…" Castiel starts to say his goodbyes while readying his wings for flight.
"Wait!" Dean cries out, his arm reaching out for Castiel's own, as if he could somehow physically prevent this fantastical being of celestial intent from leaving with his puny human body.
"Yes, Dean?" Castiel asks his solemn inscrutable expression firmly in place.
"Uh, I, uh, I mean… Goodnight Cas." Dean mutters sheepishly retracting his arm slowly, as if it would be less noticeable. Castiel smiles wider than he had all night and disappears in a flutter of feathers.
"Goodnight to you too Dean. Geesh Cas we gotta teach you some manners one of these days!" Dean says to the empty room. Dean went about the nightly chore of checking the wards and locking the house up tight and then settled his exhausted body onto the couch underneath the light blanket kept on the back of the couch.
He doesn't even bother to remove his clothing, he is so mentally drained after his confrontation with first his brother and then Castiel. And of course the Vamp hunt, although that had been easier than any hunt he could remember. Dean had to begrudgingly admit to himself that it was Gabriel's presence, which had made it so.