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This chapter does start out a bit on the darker side, so be warned. Otherwise, enjoy!
"Why did you kill me?" the voice asked, accusingly. "You killed me." A bright flash of red dripped before my eyes. "Murderer."
"I'm not a murderer!" I cried back vehemently. I had never killed. I would never kill.
"You killed me, even deny your crime." Red globs of blood flew outwards, splattering all across my body. They coated me with a warm, flowing layer of red liquid and I shuddered. "Even when my blood flows on your body, you deny me?"
I wanted to vomit and my stomach rolled as the blood seemed to wrap around me. Choking me. Consuming me.
"I didn't," I argued. I sounded confused. Lost.
"Killer." A flash of red above me fluttered into view. Blood poured from the red fabric as it took shape and congealed into a human like apparition. "Do you see?" The creature moved aside the red fabric and showed a bullet wound in his chest. Blood poured from the open wound, cascading itself into the layer of blood slowly encasing my body. Joining until the layers became one and flowed toward my head to swallow me whole.
"No." The man morphed further, his features becoming clearer. My eyes widened as I recognized the man I had shot at the museum.
"Yes. You have killed me. Pay the price." Bloody hands reached for me and gripped my throat gently. "Die with me now." The hands began to squeeze and the blood ran down the arms and onto my body. "I demand your life as payment." I was choking, scratching frantically at the hands around my throat. I couldn't breathe and could not remove the appendages: the hands were too slick with his blood to hold onto.
"Stop," I pleaded. The blood ran into my mouth, coating it too with the coppery taste of that which I had killed.
"Pay the blood price." His wound opened farther and blood sprayed from it. I could almost see his heart beat from the growing hole in his chest. I cried out, howled, screamed in terror. The hole was going to consume me. It grew and grew, bigger and bigger, as the man came closer to my face. I could hear the pumping of his heartbeat like that of a drum, loud and beating against my own subconscious. "Look. Look at what you have done. LOOK AT WHAT YOU-"
"AMBER!" I could hear screaming around me, a wail that seemed to be torn from the soul. Who was making that noise? "Amber!" Hands grabbed at me and I batted them away, not wanting the blood to coat me again. I didn't want the blood to touch me again. "It's me. Rick." I could taste the blood in my mouth, feel it smother my tongue. Light poured around me, blinding me, the heat exhausting me. Confusing me.
Strong hands grabbed my shoulders and pulled me upwards, turning me towards someone. I blinked my eyes frantically, trying to remove the blood from my vision. "Look at me." The noise stopped suddenly and I realized from the ache in my throat that it had been me making that haunting scream.
"I didn't mean to kill you. I had to protect them." My words stumbled from my mouth and I could not stop them, could not apologize to the bloody apparition of my sin.
"Ya Amar. Look at me. Please." The voice, so exotic. The man, so beautiful. I knew him.
"Ardeth?" Hands framed my face gently, forcing me to keep his gaze.
"You were having a nightmare. None of it was real." Ardeth. It was the beautiful man who knelt before me, his gaze so full of worry that it hurt my heart to see the grief on his face.
A nightmare? I could still feel the sheen of blood covering my skin, see the hole of the beating heart. Before I could be sick or understand what I was doing, I shifted and buried myself in Ardeth's chest. He did not hesitate in bringing his arms around me. With the feeling of terror starting to reside, the emotions left behind were too much for me to handle and I began to cry. This time I did not hide and I did not stop. I needed to release the overflow of emotion caused by the horrendous nightmare. To his credit, Ardeth only held me as my storm of tears wet his clothes; he murmured softly in Arabic in my ear as his arms gently anchored me to him. His voice, that soothing, exotic voice, kept my demons at bay and even began to calm me down until I could no longer see, taste, or feel the blood on me.
When I was breathing normally and the tears slowed I allowed myself to pull back from the safe haven of his arms. "I'm sorry," I apologized to the worried people around me. Ardeth kept his hands on my sides, anchoring me as I tried to gather what dignity I had left. Evie sat beside me on the bench and put an arm around my shoulders. Even Jonathon stood behind Rick, his features stricken with worry.
Rick knelt in front of me with a serious gaze. "What did you see?" I shook my head to stop him, ashamed, but he stopped me with a quick command. "No. You need to tell me. Only then can we help you." Any other time I would bristle and tell him that I could handle things on my own. But this death, this apparition was beyond what I had trained for or expected.
"I dreamed of the man I killed." When no one said anything, I breathed once and continued. "The one in the museum, when we first met. I killed one of the men. I thought I could ignore it and it would pass, but…I didn't expect…" I didn't know what to say, or how to explain what I had seen.
"The first kill, it's always the hardest." Rick's voice was solemn and grave. This voice carried the weight of one burdened with too much memories. "Sometimes you see their faces. Sometimes you don't."
"You…have nightmares?" I asked softly.
"Everyone has the nightmares," he confirmed. "New soldiers, retired soldiers. Anyone who has killed before, they all have the nightmares."
"You aren't weak, love," Evie soothed, knowing exactly the words I needed to hear. "You saved my life by killing that man. You saved the life of my husband. That isn't the mark of someone weak." She began to stroke my hair softly, as only a mother could. The soothing strokes helped to dissipate the lingering fear and tension. I was safe now.
"One of the most important things is to remember why you took that life," Ardeth agreed. "You did not kill him in cold blood. You killed him to protect us. You killed him to protect the entire world. You knew those mummies could have killed so many more, and you helped us stop the cultists before it was too late." His hands gently stroked my sides, soothing me. "I am glad that you were at my side that day. You saved my friends as well as me. I will be forever grateful, ya helweh." I did not know the term but something about hearing him speak in Arabic was soothing. Perhaps it was reminding me of being in his arms, in that safe haven when I needed it.
"Thank you all," I murmured. "I'm sorry for worrying all of you."
Awkwardly Rick placed a hand on my shoulder. "Look, it does get easier with time. You may never forget completely. But just remember what you're doing it for."
"You're doing it to save the world," Ardeth supplied. "Do not forget that you are a precious member of our group, one that will save the billions of lives on this planet from eternal damnation." I nodded as I started to accept the context of my kill, musing on the information. Rick clapped my shoulder once before letting go and standing up.
"All right let's go, give her space." He grabbed Jonathon by the arm and yanked him down to the back of the ship, Jonathon protesting all the way.
"Remember, I am forever grateful to what you have done for my family. For what you are doing now." Evie leaned in and kissed my cheek once. "Nothing you can say or do will make you less in my eyes. If you need anything at all, please come to me. I owe you a great debt that I may never be able to repay." With that she got up and walked away to join her husband and Jonathon at the other end of the ship.
"Do you have nightmares too?" I asked softly to the man holding me. The sunlight danced across his features, illuminating him as he watched me with those dark eyes.
"Many," he replied easily, surprising me with his honesty. "It is the burden of a warrior that you carry. No one will ever think less of you, at least, those who have taken a life will not." For a moment he was quiet, mulling over words, then he spoke again. "What if you had not killed that man and he had killed me instead?"
Instinctively my hands went to his shoulders and I grabbed a handful of his black robes in desperation. "No!" When a satisfied smile slid onto his face my hands relaxed but continued to hold onto his shoulders. With the fear of him leaving me in death, I could not let him go.
"Sometimes it is about a choice. Who would you protect? Who would you choose to live? These are questions that go through your mind every time you raise a weapon, even if it is instinctive." The smile broadened for a moment. "Though I am glad you chose for me to live." The way he said it with those dark eyes and low baritone made me shiver.
"I couldn't let you die."
"And would you kill if you knew it would save my life?" he asked softly.
The answer was immediate. "Yes." To my grateful surprise, he did not ask why. I was not ready to discuss that yet.
"What of Rick? Evelyn? Alex?"
"I would." I let my answer hang in the stillness around us, slowly coming to understand my instinctive responses. Now that I knew what it was to take a life, the weight of it, I realized that before I had started this journey that my worlds were only empty words of an innocent. Now that I had taken my first life I could swear it again, this time with the true knowledge of what I was claiming. "I would carry the weight of the world for them. That means death and killing." Ardeth nodded as he recognized the tone: the tone of heavy memories and that of understanding of life and death.
"It is rare to find one who is protective of those who are not their own family. I am glad to have met you, Amber of the City." With these silken tones he was easing my fear and terrors, making me forget of the horrible nightmares I had been subjected to.
"You are trying to distract me," I accused him.
"Only if it works," was the quick reply. With a slight tint of red to my cheeks, I looked away.
"Thank you," I murmured. "For helping."
"I could do nothing else. If you ever need me, just call for me and I will be there." There it was, a promise that could mean so many things. Did he mean for it to be so open ended? To have so many meanings? As I glanced at him I saw that his soft smile was still on his face but I could not read the undertones of his facial features. I did not know what to think. I was still too shaken to have the conversation of questions in my mind. I looked away again.
"You can depend on me too," I muttered lowly, unable to look him in the eye. My hands tightened on his clothing again as I forced myself to get out the words I needed to. "You know, you can call for me when you need me too." I could feel my chest tighten and the blush heat my face but I did not rescind the words.
His hands paused in their stroking and simply held me. I could not look at him, could not force myself to meet his gaze in this embarrassing moment. He was still, so still that I would have thought him gone if not for his touch at my sides. The air closed in on us again so that it was only him and I in the universe around us. I was so aware of him that I could almost see him without my gaze, sensing him with his aura alone.
"You honor me, ya helweh." His sinful voice was music to my ears and a bow to my quivering heartstrings. I would never have enough of that voice, of that tone. It excited me in a way that I was not used to, but was beginning to recognize.
"What does that mean?" I asked, finally able to meet his gaze. It made my heart thump and my breath catch. His eyes were smoldering, dark, intense. Everything that made him Ardeth shining through in this one charged moment.
"I will tell you when you are ready to hear it," he returned. He finally released me and stood, his form towering over my sitting one. "For now, I want you to drink some tea and wake up. You need to make sure you drink enough during the day."
The swap from the dark, smoldering Ardeth to the caring Ardeth was nothing new but I was still shaken of how far he had gone this time. He knew it was time for him to leave before I went into mental overload and did so with a small smile, leaving me alone with my memories and the memory of what had just transpired.
I could not deny that I was attracted to him, but now I realized that my feelings were beginning to run deeper than that. To kill for someone I had only met three days ago? It was unheard of and unwise of me. I could not have fallen that hard and that fast for someone who I did not know.
Yet he had killed for me, to keep everyone safe in the museum. He offered to protect me now, to come when called. Now that I knew the weight of what he promised I could understand more of what he was. This man was dangerous, both to me and to the enemies around him. Yet for me he was kind and caring. He held me as I cried. He brought me back from the darkness of the stain on my soul.
No man would have done that, not in the city.
They would have run away, unable to cope with that which I had become and the burden that I now carried. Only Ardeth would have the courage to stay with me during this time and to not judge me for what had happened.
This man was different in every way and it was exciting, exhausting, and terrifying all in one.
He was different than anyone I had ever met and would probably be different than anyone that I would meet. I was starting to learn him more intimately than I had any other before him and it was exhillerating.
I did not know whether that was to be a curse, or a blessing.
Instead of musing further I reached for the water that was on the tray beside of me and drank it. It was warm due to the heat of the desert, much like the hands had been on my face.
Goddamit.
I did not want to think of him now, not when I was too unstable from my nightmare.
Or my salvation.
I flicked my gaze back over to Ardeth and noticed him speaking with Rick, Evie, and Izzy. My eyes stared at his strong back and the muscled arms that held me in my team of need.
Something between us was changing, whether I wanted it to or not. To be truthful I did not know what I wanted. I was too scared to look inside to see what I craved.
Fear would keep me teetering on the sword's edge for a while longer. But one day, I would fall, and only fate knew whether I would end up in love or heartbreak.
It was nighttime on Izzy's ship and I had not been able to sleep since my nightmare from earlier today. I still didn't like the idea that light air was the only thing keeping me from falling to my death, and I especially did not appreciate that only Izzy would drive the ship. I eyed the man, wincing every time he tried to reopen his eyes.
I was anxious yet restless, worried about Alex. I was sure he was cared for at least somewhat because of Imhotep's perverse nature. But for how much longer? Alex had a mouth on him that I admired and a temperament reminiscent of a Cheshire cat. Because of the worry I couldn't sleep and was awake enough to take over.
"Izzy," I finally stated, sighing as I got to my feet. "Let me take over."
"You have no idea how to drive this thing," he murmured, still fighting sleep. Instead of sitting back down, I walked over to him and pointed to the compass.
"According to this we're bearing northwest, give or take a few degrees. And judging by the map, we won't get there by dawn, which means you can take over and land when you get up. You're about to fall asleep, Izzy. Just go ahead." He blinked as if the words didn't register, and then shifted his gaze to the bed a few feet away from the helm.
"I'll trust you this once." I chuckled once. "Just don't wreck the thing."
"Don't worry. I'm not that incompetent." With a sound to show he purely disagreed, he moved away and gave me the helm. I grabbed the wheel, noting there wasn't much pull in either direction, which made it almost mindless to steer. "I'll wake you if I need you. How about that?"
"Sure. Whatever." He snuggled down into his blankets, nearly falling asleep before his head hit his makeshift pillow. I shook my head and turned my attention to the night skies ahead. As I began to let the worries flow, I idly began to nibble on my fingernail.
Was Alex being cared for properly? From what I gathered, they only needed the bracelet, not the boy, so if Alex had angered someone enough he could have lost his arm. Did he have enough sense to stop when it was too much? He tended to lash out when he was the least bit worried with some sarcastic comment, borderline caustic, and though I appreciated the humor in most situations, I was afraid of that particular aspect of his personality.
And what of Imhotep? He had enough power to threaten the world once, so what was to say that he and his lover Anck-Su-Namun wouldn't bathe the world in blood and rule? With the horde of the army they sought, it was within easy grasp to take. A simple command to conquer the world. The Scorpion King had done the same, though his soul was taken when he completed it. However, Imhotep knew this. He wouldn't sell his soul to Anubis without taking much in return.
"You seem worried." I looked to my right to see Ardeth leaning up against the wall, his eyes devoid of any remains of sleep. He seemed to me like a sleeping tiger; relaxed, but wary and watchful of his surroundings.
"I am worried," I admitted. "Alex is still out there and we don't know what condition he is in."
"The boy will be fine," Ardeth stated.
"Maybe." I shook my head, and smiled softly. "He is stubborn, I'll give him that. I just feel bad for Rick and Evie. They're worried sick about Alex."
"As are you."
"As am I," I agreed again, and then fell silent. I felt uncomfortable knowing Ardeth was awake; for the moment I had the helm, I was alone with only my thoughts for company. Now he was awake and I knew his eyes could see far too much.
"Why do you not sleep?" he finally asked again, this time, propping an arm over a bent leg. His hair draped over his piercing eyes and his face was bathed in moonlight. I knew the muscles were underneath his black clothing and could easily imagine him without his black robe. In this moment he was beautiful, he was ethereal, and he was terryfing; he was a distraction.
"Can't." I finally managed to say, tearing my gaze away from the sight that had imprinted in my brain. "Don't need it. We've been sitting in this thing for a day. I don't really need to sleep." The nightmare was still too real and too fresh and I feared closing my eyes. I did not want to see the blood or to feel it on my skin again. I shivered as the memories assailed my conscious.
"You do not trust me." This was the heart of the matter, a truth I had come to realize. Perhaps the words weren't right, but the sentiment was there. I trusted him yet I was wary. Something about him put me on edge and kept me from fully relaxing around him. Perhaps it was because he was darkly handsome; my experience with handsome men wasn't the most pleasant of experiences. Perhaps it was because he was a fighter. I hadn't known a man capable of besting me in any type of combat, and I was used to having that superiority.
My silence galvanized him into action and he stood in one fluid movement, walking the few steps over to my side.
"Even now you tense. Why do you do this?"
Even I didn't know the answer. Yet, perhaps…it was because I was attracted to him. I could and would admit it to myself. He was everything I wanted in a man, and maybe because of that, I never wanted to fail any expectations he may have for me. Maybe it was because I was wary of the initial attraction I had to him, like if I gave in, I would lose myself. I had never known an attraction so powerful and instant. If I let myself go and he didn't return my feelings, or had to leave me, I probably wouldn't survive. Maybe it was because of the growing dependency that was beginning to form, and the fear that if I left that I would have lost my foundation for my world.
"I don't know," I finally settled on. My troubled gaze found the moon once again, yet I watched him out of the corner of my eyes. He slowly reached out his hand, knowing full well that I shrank away by a mere inch, and placed it on my shoulder.
"You've fought people and undead mummies, yet a mere man cannot get near you?" he asked, amusement and something else leaking into his voice.
"Mere wouldn't be something I would describe you with," I allowed.
"And what you describe me with?" Now the tone was even and controlled once more. I almost missed the feeling I had heard earlier, even though it did make me slightly uncomfortable.
"Strong. A leader." I shrugged and took another look at the compass. "You helped put a deranged, undead mummy into his grave. That isn't the mark of a mere man."
"Perhaps." I was acutely aware of his hand moving slowly to my other shoulder and tried my hardest not to arch my back. For the first time I wanted the touch to continue even though I was nervous. I wasn't as terrified of him being this close as I thought I would be. It reminded me of him holding me earlier during the whirlwind of my emotions and the comparison allowed me to breathe easier.
"But it shouldn't matter to you. Once we find Alex and kill the Scorpion King, I'll be back in London." Sadly. But I couldn't say that out loud.
"A warrior such as yourself shouldn't be afraid of me. We will fight side by side. Can I trust you to watch my back?" A ghost of a smile flittered across my face before it disappeared. He called me a warrior and to him, I was starting to believe I was one.
"You know you could," I answered, jumping slightly as the other hand landed on my left shoulder. "I haven't let you down yet, and I did help you on the bus." I was beginning to get used to him touching me because I did not pull away from the new intimacies he initiated with me.
"True," he agreed with amusement. "I do not wish to ride another bus in my lifetime." His thumbs began to massage the tense muscles. To my surprise he knew how to force them to relax, because I felt my shoulders began to sag as the tension left them. I shifted slightly as he moved close to a certain knot on my back and his hands immediately began to work out the cramped muscles.
"Don't worry," I assured, looking over my shoulder at him, this time, smiling fully. "It's usually twenty or so people crammed onto a bus riding down the road. Not that eventful."
"Still it is too many people in such a small place. I do not like it." As I gazed back at the Medjai, I silently agreed. He would wither in London. He belonged in the desert, a mysterious warrior guarding mankind's greatest threat. Sleeping under the stars, leading the race of warriors by day…I couldn't see him doing anything else. Especially not a desk job. My mouth twitched at the thought of him in a business suit. It would be hilarious and definitely a moment I would never forget.
"What?" he asked, seeing my smile. He continued to massage me and I found myself not minding as much. I felt my back brush against his body but I didn't jump. I was amazingly relaxed. In return, a smile was beginning to form on his face. Not wanting to stop him from truly smiling, I told him.
"Imagining you in a business suit." At his look, I dissolved into feminine giggles.
"I would imagine that you would not fit in suit either," he retorted dryly.
"Women don't wear suits," I corrected. "We wear dresses." Now he looked at me not as a warrior, but as a man. His hands stilled on my shoulders.
"I could imagine you in a dress," he replied. "Easily." For a second I felt the familiar nervousness. Then I felt the chaotic whirl of attraction. With his hands on my shoulders and his body inches from mine, I allowed myself to relax: to simply feel and experience.
"For your information," I began with a playful slap at his hands, "I do wear dresses. I have no problem with them. They just get in the way when I'm at work or out like this."
"Trekking a desert in a balloon? You do that often?" he supplied, making me laugh in amusement.
"A dirigible," I corrected perversely, smirking at the small glower he sent my way. "And believe it or not, I love camping outside. My father and I go all the time." Unthinkingly, I leaned back to where my head touched his stomach and looked up at him impishly. "I can't really wear a dress while hiking in the mountains."
He gazed down at me, his features unreadable, and I realized that I had plastered myself against him, leaning back against him as if he were a close friend. I reddened and leaned forward, my gaze going back down to the compass as my guards dropped back in place again.
"My father says I can fit in a dress or in a pair of pants. He said it was his greatest achievement." I cleared my throat. "Anyways, you should get some sleep. I'll be here a while longer since I'm awake already." He hesitated but withdrew his hands and I was honest enough to admit I did miss the feel of them. However, he continued to stand behind me, making me acutely uncomfortable, yet aware of the feeling of rippling muscles that had pressed against my back. I hadn't expected the rush when I realized how hard his body was compared to my own, but it was pleasant.
"You did not offend me," he murmured after a few minutes of awkward silence. "But when the sun rises you should sleep. We will need it when we reach our next destination." He moved back to his position at the wall, knowing I wouldn't answer him. He was beginning to learn my tendencies and habits and I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. "Goodnight." He closed his eyes and laid his head back against the wall, leaving me alone once again with my thoughts and the night around me.
A few minutes later, after I saw him lying completely still, I chanced a look at the man who intrigued me on so many levels. He was calm, serene, yet he carried a strength even while asleep that tugged at my heart. I did have an urge to bury myself in his arms like a contented cat in sunshine, a pure feminine urge that didn't really surprise me anymore. I wanted him more so than any man I had met in London.
"Goodnight, Ardeth," I whispered huskily. When he didn't stir, I continued. "I may be wary, but with good reason. You could destroy me given the chance." In more ways than one.
And with that I turned back to the compass, the map, and the memories of his heated hands and the feeling of his muscled body pressed against mine.
When I awoke the next morning, it was to a gentle hand on my shoulder. I groaned and mumbled something incoherent, swatting at the hand to make it go away.
"Wake up." Ardeth. It had to be the man I was so confused and frazzled over. "We will arrive soon at Karnak." Slowly I opened my eyes, surprised to find that I was still tired. Usually I could wake myself at least to a small state of coherency, but it seemed that I didn't sleep as well as I thought I had. I turned my sleep filled eyes to the Medjai kneeling above me and tried to send a glare. It probably had the effect of a little kitten trying to look menacing, because he just quirked an eyebrow.
"Dun' wanna," I murmured, trying to blink away the haze in my vision.
"You must." A finger brushed away a lock of hair that landed in my eyes. "We will need you if there is a fight ahead." The finger lingered on my cheek but I was honestly too tired to react to it.
"You guys can handle it. I'll just protect the ship." I tried to throw the coat – which I had stolen for use of a blanket – over my head, but he caught the coat and pulled it away. The burst of harsh sunlight on tired eyes made me blink and groan so I finally sat up, rubbing my eyes sleepily. "How long was I out?"
"A few hours at best. If I could let you sleep, I would."
"S'okay," I murmured through a yawn. "I'll be up in a few minutes." We were close together, closer than I had believed we were, but fortunately my sleep induced state helped me overcome the blush that would have stained my cheeks. He was watching me with a curious expression; however, it seemed that he was going to stay with me until I fully woke up.
Smart man.
"Did you have any more nightmares?" he asked in concern. A warmth spread as I realized he was worried for me.
"No. I think I was too exhausted." It was the truth; I had gone to sleep in darkness and woken in light. I did not see the haunting apparition or the blood from before. Perhaps it was due to the talk I had with the men before and the comforting I received from Evie. I was grateful to all of them.
Ardeth nodded in acceptance. "Where is your gun?" he asked, and I pointed to my bag beside of me. "You actually slept unarmed?" I didn't know if his question was an illusion to my wariness of the night before or an attempt to tease me of my protective habits, but I smiled regardless.
"Of course not." I patted my calf. "I have my father's knife with me. Sentimentality more than anything," I explained, not wanting him to have the wrong idea that I didn't trust them.
"When did he give you the knife?" he questioned. More awake now, I leaned back, only to find the wall was directly behind me and Ardeth's body in front of me. Clever. I wasn't pinned yet I wasn't free. I could respect the ingenious tactics.
"When my brother died. He wanted me to always be prepared, no matter what." It was silent for a moment while Ardeth looked around to see who was paying us any attention. No one was close enough to truly overhear us.
"You had a brother?" he asked quietly. "I have not heard of him."
"Ryan," I murmured, looking away from him. "He was going to join the forces when he got old enough. He was mugged and killed before he got the chance."
"Was that what you spoke of when you say you could not lose another son?" I nodded. "I am sorry." I could see that Ardeth didn't want to push, but strangely, I wanted to give him the rest of the explanations.
"I was only six at the time. Ryan was eleven. When my father found out, he nearly died from his grief. I remember going into his room and asking him to let me learn how to protect myself. It was then that he had a reason to move on. He could prevent the same from happening to me. And he did."
"That's why you were taught the ways of a warrior," Ardeth supplied.
"Yeah. I've never had anyone really be able to take care of me, so I learned how to take care of myself." Now I was completely awake, the pang of sadness from Ryan enough to rouse me. I stretched and got Jonathon's attention.
"Oh, Amber. Look!" I grabbed the top of the wall and lazily lifted myself with only my arm to peer over the side of the dirigible, a quiet feat of strength Ardeth only quirked an eyebrow over, and saw our destination. "The real thing's better, isn't it?" I smiled, my mind equating his words with my other musing problems, and nodded.
"The real thing's always better," I agreed softly, letting myself slide back down. "Are you guarding the dirigible?" I asked Jonathon, knowing that he would immediately say yes. With his immediate agreement, I grinned and stood, ignoring the way Ardeth stood in time with me. "But won't little old you be bored here all by your lonesome?" My horrible Southern drawl caused him to wrinkle his nose in disgust.
"Never do that again," he stated. I walked over and ruffled his hair, grinning impishly at him.
"I won't make any promises."
Izzy began to lower us and I gave in to one last stretch, reaching my hands towards the sky and moving my neck around in a circle. I felt the pops as I worked my neck; sleeping on the wooden floor really wasn't that fun. However, I ignored the pain as I had been taught to do and reached for my gun belt, easily sliding it and hooking it into place. Once we landed, Rick was off the boat before we had a chance to anchor with Evie and even Ardeth on his heels. I snorted and went to tie the boat, but Izzy waved me off.
"Go on. You'll only screw it up." I took that as him trying to be nice and nodded, grinning at him. No matter what he thought, I did love his grouchy demeanor. Hilarious when combined to his leeriness of Rick and getting shot in the ass. I took off after the others, having no trouble following them, when I was tackled from the side.
I grunted as I fell to the ground and saw the flash of sun against metal. I didn't know who it was, but I immediately struck with my elbow, causing the knife to hesitate in the air, but it was all I needed. I rolled out from under him, only to see a second man in red rushing at me. He held a knife close to the length of my forearm, but he was stupidly running at me instead of trying to attack. Idiot. I grabbed his hand and knelt slightly, locking my body as I drug his arm up and over my shoulder, using his momentum and my body to roll him over my back and throw him in the opposite direction.
He fell and rolled, not really harmed, but goon number one was on his feet. I reached for my gun only to find that it wasn't there; I must have lost it in the initial tackle. Instead I reached for the knife on my calf and wielded it as goon number one circled me. He was watching me now, recognizing me as a small threat, though he still largely underestimated me. Finally he stepped forward, thrusting at my side, and I quickly parried with my hand, knocking the attack away from me. Goon number two came at my unprotected right side, but I used my momentum to spin into a roundhouse kick, catching him against the chin.
Goon number one spun with the force of my block and he staggered even as the second fell to the side. Taking the advantage, I snapped off a front kick, catching goon number two in the jaw and flinging him onto his back. He would be rocked, leaving me a chance to deal with goon number one. After goon number one got his footing, he leapt in the air and sliced down, giving me the opportunity to roll away from him. He landed and whirled, already thrusting at me, even as I did an awkward handspring to leap backwards and away from him. As I stumbled on my feet, I saw he was still coming, so I ducked and thrust towards his stomach.
Goon number one barely dodged the attack and he leapt away, finally realizing that I was a true threat to his life.
"Who are you?" I asked, never taking my eyes off of him. "Why are you trying to kill me?" I was pretty sure he was associated with Imhotep, though mistakes could always be made it was highly unlikely that he was innocent.
"No one," Goon one replied.
"Oh very clever, Odysseus," I drawled. "But that doesn't change a thing. If you keep attacking, I will be forced to kick your ass." His eyes darkened even as I smirked. If there was one thing I learned about this country, it was that women were never superior to men, and any allegation that one was so was sure to be put to rest. It was the best taunt I knew and by the looks of things, it was working.
"I will kill you for your impertinence," he growled.
"Only if you can catch me," I quipped back. I began to toss the knife back and forth between my hands even as Goon two finally regained his footing. He was clearly rocked but he was recovering quickly. Maybe I could take both of them, but the sand hampered a lot of my footwork, which was what I relied on, and I was still tired from the lack of sleep. So my odds were pretty much even by this point.
Damn.
"You're nothing but a woman," Goon two snarled, holding his bruising jaw.
"Yeah, but I already flattened you. Think of the possibilities." With that sarcasm, it was enough to launch Goon two into action, and with a flurry of slices and thrusts, he jumped on the offensive. I let him attack, watching him as a cat would a mouse, and let him tire himself out. My blocks were designed for efficiency in energy and in time, and I could probably defend longer than he could keep up this much of an attack.
"Amber!"
My name was enough to startle me, causing a slight opening in my otherwise impeccable defense. However, I was already instinctually leaping back, so the knife tore a piece of my clothing instead of my skin. Two gunshots rang out, each bullet flying true, so Goon one and Goon two slumped, each of them falling ungracefully to the sand. I forced myself to not gaze at the bodies as their blood began to stain the sand red, and stepped over them to where I had originally been tackled.
"The hell were you thinking?" Rick demanded as I knelt to sift through the sands. "Why didn't you just shoot them?"
"Because I lost my gun," I replied primly. "I can still adequately defend myself without it, you know." My fingers brushed cool metal and I lifted my gun and shook it, sighing as sand filtered out. I would definitely have to take it apart and clean it later.
"She was doing fine until you distracted her," Evie said, shooting a glance at Rick. He glared in return.
"Don't take her side," he warned. Evie wasn't fazed by his angry tone and merely smirked. I almost wished I could train her. She would make a great protégé.
"Anyways, what's done is done. Did you guys find Alex?" Evie shook her head.
"No, but he left us a clue."
"A clue?" I asked in disbelief.
"He created a sand castle of Philae. We can follow them."
"Then what are we waiting for?" I had to bury the laugh at Rick's glower of death, and I was sure he wanted nothing more than to strangle me. He led Evie away, leaving Ardeth and I behind to follow him, which was fine with me.
"You fight well," he acknowledged.
"Not as well as you, but I can hold my own." I shrugged. "That was child's play compared to what my father put me through."
"I see," he replied. He looked me up and down and I didn't bother to hide the faint blush on my cheeks. His eyes narrowed at the cut on my shirt. With a quick movement he grabbed me and brought me to him, eyeing the front of my shirt quickly.
"What?" I asked.
"Are you hurt? Did the knife cut you?" I looked down and poked a finger through the ripped fabric of my shirt. When I removed my finger with no blood he sighed with relief and released me, letting me take a step back to create space between us.
"Nope. Just got my shirt. And it was Evie's too." I rolled my shoulders and began to follow Rick and Evie. "And I have to clean out my gun," I mumbled with a sigh. "Stupid sand."
"Do you not enjoy the sand?" he asked. Even though I might not have been the brightest when it came to undercurrents of conversations, I felt the shift in the air when he spoke. This wasn't a simple question.
"I enjoy the sand just fine," I answered him. "Just not inside my gun." He was silent and his face impassive as he walked beside me.
"Perhaps it is time for your sword training."
"Maybe. Wouldn't be as bad if sand got on that." He chuckled once.
We reached the dirigible in silence. Rick and Evie got in, explained the situation and gave Izzy the new destination, and climbed into the boat. They both went up front as Jonathon silently watched them. Ardeth swung into the ship first and held out a hand for me. Usually I would become irate at the action, but Ardeth had just seen me fight. He knew what I was capable of. I also knew him well enough that this was a gesture meant to be kind.
Instead of ignoring it as I would have from any other man, I grasped his hand and let him help me inside. He kept me close for a few seconds before letting my hand slide from his. He turned his head to look at the two parents in the front of the boat and I followed his gaze. Rick was holding his wife, who was watching the horizon. Both were worried about their only child.
Watching their grief reminded me of my own; I couldn't let this become another Ryan. Ardeth turned back to me, his gaze watching and I realized that I had said it out loud. I looked away from him as the ship lurched into the air. Sure, he was young, but Alex reminded me of my brother in so many ways. I turned away from the piercing eyes that saw too much and went to Izzy.
"I think I can get us there in a day," Izzy stated as he poured over the maps in front of him. "Maybe a bit less."
"As long as we're flying." He looked up at me.
"This dirigible always flies! Unless Rick manages to get us into trouble."
"We're headed to trouble, Izzy."
"Don't remind me," he replied sulkily. He peeked up at Rick and Evie before looking back down to his maps. "Even if O'Connell manages to get me shot every time, we'll make it."
"Just stay in the ship then."
"Dirigible." I smirked at the response; it was habit for him to correct anyone by this point.
"We'll take care of business."
I saw Ardeth walk over to Rick and Evie, and Jonathon saw him. He managed to get up the courage to walk to the grieving couple as the Medjai reached them. All of the friends began to talk and I felt the loneliness. I may have tagged along for the ride, but these were friends. This was the impenetrable circle. I was the tour guide Amber. Not the wife, family, or Medjai.
"Izzy." The severity of my tone gained his complete attention and he looked up at me. "If it comes down to a choice between me or Alex or one of them, choose them." He blinked.
"What?"
"I'm serious, Izzy. If I have to give my life for one of them to survive, I'll do it. They are meant to save the world. I'm no one compared to what they've done."
"Well you haven't gotten me shot." His voice was serious as were his eyes, even if his statement wasn't.
"I know. This is what I want. I have been raised to protect those who couldn't protect themselves. If I gave my life to save someone, my parents would be proud." Their grief would be enormous, I know. They would mourn my passing.
"No parents should outlive their child," Izzy argued.
"Exactly." Izzy watched me intently for a few charged seconds, then nodded.
"I'm not going to risk my neck for you."
"I'm not asking you to. I just want one thing from you." I reached into my pocket and pulled it out, opening my palm to show Izzy. It was a silver bracelet chain with different charms alluding to my brother and I. We had twin bracelets made two years before he had died, and I had kept mine and buried Ryan's with him. "These are charms my brother and I bought. I kept it with me to remind me of my brother, but in case I don't make it, I want you to take these and bury them with me." I pondered for a moment, then continued. "If you can't, I want you to bury them someplace special in the desert. Maybe the charms will bring someone else luck."
"Why me?" Izzy asked, eyeing the charms.
"Because if anyone's going to survive, it's going to be you," I said with a half-smile.
"You're goddamn damn right about that." He swiped them from my hand and stuffed them into his own pockets. "Fine, you want your charms buried, I can do that."
"And keep it between us."
"Whatever," Izzy muttered before going back to his maps. He was eclectic and obsessed with staying out of danger and not getting shot, but he would do as he said at least.
I went into the back of the boat and looked at the past behind us. Karnak was getting smaller and smaller as we whisked away to our next destination and I sighed.
Though I had told Izzy to prioritize the O'Connell family over me, I did not want to die. My own parents shouldn't lose another child to another disaster and I did not want them to bear the consequences if I passed away. Perhaps they could handle it, perhaps not. But I didn't want to lose Alex and I could not lose Ryan again. At this point in my heart they were interchangeable and since I could not save Ryan, I had to save Alex.
This time I was armed with knowledge of fighting and how to defend myself. I traveled with a sacred warrior of god and a family that had put an undead god mummy into his grave. This would be the best chance I had in staying alive and to save Alex and this time, I was in a position to do so.
My hands tightened on the wall of the ship and I could feel tears building in my eyes. Speaking of Ryan earlier had brought so much emotions and memories to the surface that I was on edge again.
I needed to make sure Alex survived this ordeal. I needed to make sure that I survived. Yet if I had the choice of choosing my life over Alex, I knew I would give my life away. If it had been any other human I might have been torn or hesitant. For Alex: I would give anything to see him safe.
On the last day of his life, Ryan had told me to 'be safe and take care'. He could not hold up his end of the promise when I said, 'you too'. Even now I broke my promise as I was going to danger and almost certain death. I could not be safe anymore. I had chosen the path of the protector and that meant that danger would be my constant companion.
In my heart I knew that it was the right choice. And as I looked up to the clear sky of Egypt, I knew Ryan was looking down on me too. He would agree what I was doing was right, even if I broke the promise that forever played in my brain. The familiar weight of my charms was missing but I knew that Ryan would still be with me, watching me.
A hand came onto my shoulder and I whirled, causing the pent up tears to fall down my cheeks.
"He is safe," Ardeth told me quietly, gazing at the trail of tears sliding down my cheeks.
"He's not," I argued, as more tears cascaded down the wet path of those before. "He could be killed, injured, we don't know that."
"He is not Ryan, Amber." At my brother's name from his lips I couldn't hold back a choked sob. I had told him my secrets. He knew what haunted me. But now he understood as no other had before him.
This was the same situation all over again: a reincarnation of the most tragic time of my life. It hurt me as it had hurt before and I grieved as I hadn't before. As I tried to hold myself together Ardeth surprised me by pulling my face into his chest and turning my face to look towards the back of the ship, away from all the others.
"No one can see you," he spoke softly. "I have you now. Let it out." I held back the sound of the sobs that were racking my body and as silently as I could I cried on the inviting chest of the man who held me.
I cried for Ryan and I cried for Alex; both who knew pain that they shouldn't and of trauma they never should have been exposed to. As the grief took over I threw caution to the wind and hugged him to me tightly as if I would never let him go. He allowed the contact, even going as far as to hug me tighter to him. No words were spoken as I cried and no words were needed. His actions said everything he needed to and my allowing of him to see me in this state was enough an action on my part.
Already he was honoring his promise: he was there in my time of need. I did not even have to call him for him to be here at my side.
In this moment I understood why people took a mate, why people chose to spend the rest of their life with someone. I had been alone for so long in my desire for acknowledgement that I had forgotten the essence of what it meant to be human: to break down and have another care for you in your time of need. I hadn't had another close to me other than my family that I had trusted enough to show weakness in front of. Yet I could think of no other that I would rather have hold me other than the enigmatic Ardeth.
I began to calm as the storm of grief passed but I remained in his arms as my sniffles and tears began to subside.
"I'm sorry," I apologized to him again.
"Do not be." I wiped my tears on the sleeve of my shirt.
"It's just…knowing Alex is safe, it doesn't help me forget Ryan." And what could happen to Alex.
"He will be alive until we reach Ahm Shere," Ardeth reassured me. He could read me well and knew what I had to have thought of. "Nothing will happen to the boy before then. Imhotep could not go there otherwise."
"You're right," I murmured. "So we must find him beforehand." As if he could sense my strength returning to me, Ardeth stepped back and released me. He knew that if he remained I would be embarrassed or blush, and he was kind enough to spare me of that as I tried to get my emotions back under control.
"And we will," Ardeth replied easily. "Just as I know we can defeat Imhotep, I know we will save the boy. This time, you will help us save him." Oh, what a clever man he was, and I loved him for it.
Wait, love?
I looked back towards Ardeth with a smile. "We will save him. Thank you." Ardeth nodded once and left me alone to my devices, knowing that I needed space now.
Especially now that I had dropped a word that I did not need.
Did I love him? Had I fallen in love with him? It had only been three days since I had met the man, there couldn't have been any way for me to fall to the state of love in three days. I knew I would kill for him, and unconsciously admitted I loved him. Only fools would love someone they did not know, and I was no fool.
Yet a part of me rebelled. It called out to the exotic man and needed him beside me.
Shit, it might be love.
I was in trouble.
Ya Amar: in the right context, it means my moon, or my most beautiful.
Ya Helweh: my beautiful.