Chapter 3 – Sam
I continued to travel southeast towards the coast. The weather got warmer as I reached the foothills of the mountains and only very rarely did I see anyone on the road. To help pass the time as I walked, Godchaser took it upon herself to start teaching me Old Realm. She'd been very shocked to discover that I didn't "remember" it, and I'd tried to explain to her that I did already speak four languages fluently, which was a great deal more than most people did. A handful of old monks and the Dragonblooded sorcerers who studied at the Heptagram were the only people who knew Old Realm. The language was functionally extinct.
That being said, I began picking it up very quickly. The challenge of learning something new also kept me from jumping in panic and trying to flee whenever someone glanced at me suspiciously. Even though I was technically on the run, I knew it was best not to draw attention to myself by seeming to be in a hurry. I stopped when I found the opportunity, once to help a farmer when his wagon got stuck in the mud and later to repair a precious bracelet that a young girl had broken by fiddling with it too much. Her mother tried to pay me with a small knife, but I declined the gift.
I'd never carried a blade intended to be used as a weapon before and I didn't feel that it would be right. If I meant to atone for whatever I'd done that had caused me to become Anathema, I needed to be as good as I knew how to be. At least that was how I explained it to Godchaser, who still didn't seem to understand why I felt that I should be doing penance. Though I felt no different with each passing day, I couldn't help worrying that the worst was still to come... that perhaps all Anathema started out as normal people who didn't understand what had happened to them and only became creatures of evil over time.
When I proposed that theory to Godchaser, she refused to speak to me.
Three days after my encounter with the Snow Owls, I began seeing more travelers. The mile markers on the road warned me that I was getting close to a town called Windfall. A merchant had informed me that it was five days walking from Windfall to the medium-sized trading city of Chio. From Chio it was only a short river voyage to the coast where I could barter my way onto a ship headed anywhere in Creation. I had my sights set on Nexus, the city of my birth. It was where Godchaser wanted us to go, and I was not opposed to the idea. I had not seen my home since I was four years old and remembered only that it was very busy, very dangerous, and very far away. All of those things sounded good to me, and having a destination made all of the tedious walking easier.
As fond as I was of hot meals and good beds, I loathed sleeping on the side of the road. The only thing that made my journey bearable at all was the food and cloak I'd gotten from Sun Yu and the incessant chattering of my companion. Though I had warned her about speaking when someone was liable to overhear her, Godchaser whispered her Old Realm lessons in my ear both morning and night. When a very fat merchant on a swaybacked pony trundled past us, she gave me a real gem of an insult that said all sorts of terrible things about the man and his mount, which she implied was his mother and possibly also his wife.
Occasionally my fellow travelers gave me strange looks, and I expected that had something to do with the fact that my "cloak" was snickering at them. As wicked as Godchaser could be, pretending to be a prince in disguise made it easier for me not to focus on the grim reality of my situation. I'd only been a demon for ten days and already I'd nearly starved to death and beaten six men senseless. If that experience was at all indicative of the future that awaited me, there was no guarantee that I'd make it to Chio at all, let alone to Nexus which was three months voyage by sea.
Still, the weather was very fine when I arrived in Windfall and that brightened my spirits. I saw a little inn called "The Crossroads" and decided to see if I could trade work for some food and a bed. It was a long walk from Windfall to Chio, and even further to take the south fork of the road to Uzun or the Imperial City. I went into the inn and set my tools on a table very close to the door with a sigh of relief. I didn't want to leave them where they might be stolen, but the box was heavy and I'd been carrying it for days.
As I'd warned her many times, Godchaser kept quiet when I took her off and draped her over a chair near my tools. What she looked like was a simple gray cloak - perhaps heavy enough to be reinforced with something like a buff jacket. I'd made a pocket inside of my hood so that I could rest her mask on the top of my head rather than wearing it over my face. Although Godchaser could hide her facial expressions, she often forgot to. While putting her mask inside of my hood and wearing it on my head like a hat made removing my cloak look a little awkward, it did keep me from looking like some sort of strange roadside phantom or fae creature.
The proprietor of the inn that I'd come to turned out to be a disorganized, nervous old man with a dozen half-finished projects lying about everywhere. I introduced myself as "Recluse" again without thinking and offered to fix his front door, which did not like to stay closed.
That much done, I did a bit of work on his windows, moved along to his cousin's boiler and then his neighbor's mantel clock. I earned myself a new shirt for resizing a rich woman's uncomfortably tight wedding ring and acquired some food from my host in addition to the room I'd been hoping for. I slept better than I had in weeks.
The morning I intended to leave Windfall I discovered that the inn was suddenly very crowded. I realized belatedly that I'd overslept and missed most of breakfast. Trying not to seem overtly paranoid by the surprising number of travelers scattered throughout the room, I took the only empty seat. It was next to a nondescript young man dressed in simple leather armor and a blue cloak. His army-issue sword was under his bench and a leather satchel that evidentially carried all of his important correspondence was carefully set on the table where he could keep his eyes on it continuously.
I recognized the lightning-bolt insignia on the back of his cloak. He was a member of a fairly well-known Imperial Legion, the Ravenous Winds. While the Winds did not enjoy the pristine reputation of Dragonlord Chiron's Scarlets, they were widely regarded as the most efficient Wyld Hunt ever to scour the face of Creation. A Wyld Hunt, of course, is a military detachment with a small contingent of Immaculate monks which dedicates itself to task of hunting down Anathema, a very dangerous profession.
In other words, I was sitting right next to someone liable to kill me.
The owner of the inn brought me breakfast and refused to take any payment for the meal. Some of his gathered patrons whispered to one another and pointed in my direction.
"You must be the famous tinker." The messenger next to me observed. "Gordon won't stop going on about how you've fixed every damned thing that's ever been broken in this place... all for a bed and two square meals."
"It wasn't much." I replied.
"Are you kidding? The Crossroads has always been a dump! If it wasn't the only inn for miles it'd have no business at all! Broken windows that let all the cold in, crooked tables that make your dice roll badly, beds full of lice and lumps..." He rolled his eyes. "I was raised here in Windfall, so I ought to know! People have been kicking the bottom of that front door to make it open for more years than I've been alive!" He rolled his eyes. "Name's Sam, by the way." I'm a messenger in the Ravenous Winds."
"Isn't Mnemon Rai usually out in the Scavenger Lands?" I asked, not giving my own name in return.
"You know Old Thunderstormer?" Sam brightened.
"Well, I know of him." I replied, cursing my own silly mistake.
Truth be told, I did know Mnemon Rai Jin, and fairly well too. I'd met him several times when he came to visit his eccentric sister who'd been one of my most devoted patrons when I still worked as Master Ilumio. While I liked the Winglord's liberal stance on giving mortals opportunities to serve as officers in his Legion, I was sure that if we were ever reunited, our reunion would not be a pleasant one. Among other things, "Old Thunderstormer" had singlehandedly killed more Anathema than any other Dragonblood in Creation.
"He's a good commander. Well, he's fair anyway. About the only thing he doesn't tolerate is folks who don't pull their own weight and that's fine by me, because I've always worked like a dog. I've been visiting my family since the end of Ascending Water and it was nice at first, but now I'm going crazy! That and... well, the news!" Sam explained, patting his bag softly.
"What news?" I wondered... hoping that it wasn't about me.
"Well, Talonlord Calil has gotten himself into trouble and Old Thunderstormer is holed up near Nexus. 'The Boss' is gathering up every Wind on the Blessed Isle. He wants to bring a whole new Talon to Mnemon Rai Jin." Sam continued. "You'd think it would be impossible to call up five-hundred men on such short notice, but if anyone can make an army out of nothing, Cathak Loren can."
"Should I know that name?" I wondered, certain that I'd never heard it before.
"I probably shouldn't tell you this, but Loren is the one who really runs the Winds. "Old Thunderstormer" is a great war hero and all, but he's practically retired. Cathak Loren may be a mere mortal just like the two of us, but there's not a Dragonblood in the Winds who hasn't been whupped by him at least once. Also, I hear that Old Thunderstormer might make him Talonlord soon." Sam explained, wolfing down what was left of his breakfast.
A mortal, given the rank of Talonlord? That was news!
"It's about time, too. It's really not fair how 'The Boss' never gets credit for everything he does. He should have been Exalted... he'd have made it into the Scarlets for sure. Dunno how the Dragons missed him." Sam continued.
"That's not a very wise thing to say. The Dragons don't make mistakes!" I scolded him, forgetting for a moment that I was no longer an Immaculate monk.
"If you say so." Sam shrugged, undeterred. "Say, tinker... what's your name, anyway?"
"It's Recluse. Like the spider." I replied without thinking.
Though I'd intended to adopt another alias, I'd once again given my nickname just as I'd given it to Sun Yu and Gordon, the innkeeper. I'd have to move fast when I made it to Chio... before word arrived that the great and terrible Anathema was calling himself "Recluse".
Sam was not impressed. "Brown Recluse?"
I nodded.
"Doesn't suit you at all." Sam eyed my very short hair which was coming in far redder than it had ever before. "You look more like a "Copper Spider" to me."
Godchaser giggled.
"What was that sound?" Sam blinked in surprise.
"I didn't hear anything." I lied.
"Hunh. Could have sworn I heard some girl laughing right behind us." Sam paused for a moment and then downed the rest of his coffee. I suspected it had gotten cold long ago with how much he seemed to enjoy talking.
"Well, its been very nice meeting you, but it's time for me to go." I announced, picking up my things. Without waiting for Sam's response, I went out the front door and dunked into the stables behind the inn. When I was certain that no one was close enough to hear me, I scolded Godchaser for her recklessness.
"I can't believe you!" I groaned. "That soldier heard you! Godchaser, we talked about this! If anybody sees or hears you... it'll be bad for both of us!"
"Awww... I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it! Maker, didn't you hear what he called you?" Godchaser asked.
"What do you mean?" I wondered.
"In the old days there were lots of fancy names for Solars." Godchaser explained. "Your Caste were called Copper Spiders. It's a very cute alias, don't you think?" She giggled.
I didn't think it was as funny as she did. "Look, I need you to be quiet if Sam catches up to us. Not even a giggle if he calls me that again!" I warned.
"Oh, but I do hope he does! I think it's a wonderful sobriquet and I haven't heard it in ever-so-long!" She informed me. "It makes me think of Autochthon The Great Maker and well, you're my Maker and who wouldn't want to be compared to..."
Godchaser fell silent as Sam stepped out of the tavern, clearly looking for me. He said a few words to a farmer near the roadside and then went to fetch a rangy gray horse with a massive square head. He kicked the beast a little harder than I thought fair and came trotting up to me. I tried very hard not to appear distracted.
Though I didn't like to hear her singing my praises, when Godchaser had spoken the name Autochthon I'd felt a surge of familiarity. I wanted to know whatever it was that she had been about to say, and I was certain that she wouldn't remember she'd been rambling about by the time that night fell. While not stupid by any means, I'd discovered that Godchaser's short-term memory, like her "data" was all but worthless... which did explain why she sometimes seemed to have the attention span of a mayfly.
"Hey, Recluse! I just talked to a friend of mine, and he's headed to the mill. That's on the way to Chio. You want to ride in a hay wagon for awhile?" Sam asked. "Those tools of yours look like they weigh a lot."
"I'm used to carrying them." I replied stiffly. "And I don't want to impose."
"It's not an imposition, and it'll save your feet for a few hours. Besides, it's a long way to Chio!" Sam warned. "Five days journey if you walk it all. Four if you ride today."
When he put it that way, I found that I didn't have the strength to refuse.
As it turned out, we both rode in the hay wagon. Sam ponied his horse behind and did most of the talking. The farmer that was ferrying us took his exuberance with a smile, and I didn't mind his incessant chattering. As long as Sam was talking, no one was looking at what I was working on. Walking for days on end had given me no opportunity to tinker, and there was enough scrap in the bottom of my tool box for me to make a few little fancy baubles that I could sell when I made it to Chio. Of course, since I didn't have a heat source to properly coax magical metal into the shapes that I wanted... I was secretly using just the tiniest bit of Essence to accomplish the same task.
When the hay wagon reached its destination, I continued on foot and Sam accompanied me, dragging his obstinate horse. It was obviously not a well-bred animal, though he argued that it had tough hooves, which was an important asset from the perspective of a messenger. Although Sam could have made much better time riding, he preferred having my company. I enjoyed the experience of traveling with another person myself. It made me feel almost normal again.
Almost.
Sam and I stopped long before dark that first evening, camping with a small troupe of actors that Sam had spied with his telescope. Though I would have preferred to cover more distance in a day, Sam was clearly in no hurry to get anywhere... which seemed very strange for someone who was supposed to be a messenger. He joked and trotted his ugly horse in tiny circles until the actors invited us to eat with them and then he revealed that he'd been carrying a decent bottle of wine. That bottle earned us not only the appreciation of our hosts but also some musical entertainment with our evening meal.
There was an old whore who had some skill on the shamisen, a pair of entertaining, bumbling drummers, a huge, hairy man billed as "The Beastman", a Djala acrobat and a brother-and-sister fencing act from the far West. Their speech was incomprehensible, but their choreographed swordplay was very impressive. Last but by no means least was a beautiful young woman who could have passed for an Air-Aspect Dragonblood. As it turned out, she was not an Exalt, barely an actress and even worse as a singer, practically tone deaf and prone to wheezing at the most inopportune moments. Not that it mattered. In most popular plays, the role of "leading lady" required very little talent beyond shedding tears on cue and fainting convincingly.
It was still not full dark when Sam and I had finished eating.
Not liking how I sat apart from the actors and fiddled with my tools, Sam drug me over to a fallen tree on the edge of a nearby rice paddy. Then he sat down and seized the piece of bent wire that I'd been toying with since I'd been pulled away from my work.
"You need to stop tinkering, Recluse!" He informed me. "You really are one seriously antisocial spider, aren't you?"
"What do you want me to do?" I demanded.
"Just sit here and watch the sunset. You're on a trip, aren't you? Why don't you enjoy your journey?" He demanded.
"You'd live on the road if you could." I informed him.
"Of course!" Sam replied. "New places, new faces, every day an adventure? You know, you are really quiet. Here I am taking your ears off again and I still don't know anything about you! Where are you from? Where are you going? You obviously don't travel just for the fun of it, like some of us do." He bowed dramatically, gesturing to himself.
"I'm just looking for work. Beyond that, there's nothing to know. I'm not interesting." I replied.
"I sincerely doubt that." Sam retorted. "And if you were really just looking for work, you would have stayed in Windfall. That inn might actually pass itself off as reputable now, and I'm sure lots of folks would hire the man who turned it around."
"All I did was fix a few things. Anyone could have done it. Why do you care?" I demanded.
"Who says I care? Travelling is just more fun with a few stories, that's all! It's okay if you don't want to talk, I understand that. But please, stop fiddling! Just sit for a minute, look out there and tell me what you see!" He held out his hands as if he were an actor himself, delivering a great soliloquy on stage.
"The sun." I replied flatly.
"That's all?'" Sam frowned.
"What else is there? Rice?" I suggested.
"You're telling me that you can seriously look out at that sunset... and all you think is 'Oh, it's the sun?'" He pressed.
"I suppose it does make me think of diamonds." I admitted.
"Diamonds?" Sam seemed to be genuinely intrigued. I sighed in defeat and decided that I'd try to explain.
"Well, I was a jeweler, many years ago. And each time I finished cutting a diamond, I'd take it outside, hold it up to the sun, and decide where it could be improved. The cut of a diamond needs to be very precise. but a dedicated craftsman can transform a good stone into an extraordinary one." I explained.
"A jeweler, eh? If you were trained in a lucrative profession like that, why are you homeless?" Sam wondered.
"I made some bad decisions. I'm trying to get back on my feet but it may some time. Until then I'll repair whatever needs fixing. It's all the same to me." I shrugged.
"Oh." Sam paused. I suspected that he knew I was lying. Truthfully, I did enjoy doing what I could to help people, but there was no challenge for me in sorting out a stubborn doorknob.
"Really, I can't believe I'm telling you all this!" I sighed. "It's just worthless drivel!"
I turned to Sam. There was something about him that was simply so genuine and likable that I found that I couldn't resist continuing the speech I'd begun. In the half-light, his eyes looked even more yellow than they usually did, almost catlike with strange, very dark pupils that sparkled like the night sky. I'd seen eyes like his before, though I couldn't remember exactly where. What was it about Sam that made my remarkably clear head feel so muddled?
"So how do you cut a diamond?" Sam pressed.
"Very carefully. With another diamond." I smiled slightly. "A diamond which hasn't been worked isn't really very impressive, usually white and chalky looking. It takes a certain kind of skill to see the potential in a stone." I gestured to the sun, which had begun to sink below the horizon. The sky was unusually brilliant in shades of orange and scarlet. "We see the sun all day and we never think about light having color, not like this. But once it has that perfect cut... well then, it's impossible to ignore."
Godchaser heaved an enormous, melodramatic sigh. I glanced quickly at Sam, who didn't react at all, and then turned my attention back to the sunset, pretending I'd heard nothing myself.
I didn't have the heart to scold Godchaser. She had a habit of sighing like a pining lover every time I said something that she liked. And while she enjoyed hearing that she was beautiful and brilliant, what she loved above all else was when I rambled like a madman about the ideas that I had. If I went on for hours discussing the pros and cons of different alloys, or postulating wildly on the possibility of artificial flight Godchaser hung on my every word. But I questioned my own existence, she only cursed me for being "horrible" and began to sulk.
I'd gotten used to Godchaser coming up with ideas, laughing, voicing her opinions, teasing me, getting angry and of course, sulking when I upset her. I'd become fully convinced that she was as much of a person as any human being I'd ever met. While I certainly didn't think of her as a mere "machine"... I still couldn't decide how I ought to feel about the fact that she was obviously in love with me.
I was also beginning to suspect that my new friend Sam was a Sidereal.
Godchaser was unusually quiet for most of the following day. Traveling with Sam, I thought it best to avoid talking to her, but she didn't even snicker when he referred to me twice as "Copper Spider". While Sam was occupied with a rock that was causing his horse to limp, I took the opportunity to discreetly whisper to my other traveling companion.
"Godchaser?"
"Maker?" Her voice sounded strange, almost groggy.
"You've been very quiet." I said.
"Have I?" She murmured. "Didn't you want me to be quiet?"
"I did, but now I'm worried about you. How do you feel?" I asked.
"Tired." She replied. "I need more Essence."
"I suppose I could give you some right now." I admitted, making sure that I was not being watched. I hoped that Sam wouldn't sense what I was doing and then scoffed at myself for being so paranoid. Really, I'd no proof that he was any kind of Exalt at all. No Dragonblood would have lowered himself to dealing with mere mortals as Sam did. I was beginning to doubt that I knew anything at all about Anathema, but I felt confident that no one carrying the same curse I did would purposefully associate with a demon hunter like Mnemon Rai Jin.
Perhaps he was a Godblood? Still, I found myself wanting to call him a "Sidereal" even though I still didn't have the foggiest idea what that meant. The idea of Sidereals secretly manipulating the world remained firmly fixed in my mind and after everything that had happened to me, I had to believe that they were watching me. Since Windfall, I'd felt as though I were being stalked, particularly at night. I thought of Himitsu incessantly, and by Godchaser's own admission she had been designed to hunt Sidereals... among other things. Obviously whatever they were, Sidereals couldn't be trusted.
But since Godchaser couldn't explain how she detected them, all I could do was suspect everyone who seemed unusually interested in me. "I've meant to ask you about Sam. Do you think he is a Sidereal? He says the damnedest things, but I haven't seen him do anything out of the ordinary." I whispered
"He hasn't seen you do anything "out of the ordinary" either." Godchaser reminded me.
"I see your point." I glanced over my shoulder. Sam was still cursing at his horse.
"Well, he hasn't used any Essence around us, and I can only identify Essence that's actively being used." Godchaser informed me. "And speaking of Essence, I need more."
"I've given you as much as I can." I replied, brushing aside the fabric of my cloak to have a look at the imprints around her hearthstone. Sure enough, the little gauge that measured how much power she was holding was situated only four tally marks above empty. Her hearthstone flickered and then went dark for a moment.
"I still need more." She complained, her voice wavering again. "I told you, there's something wrong with your manse!"
"Yes, I'm getting that impression. Without your hearthstone, how long can you operate?" I asked.
"Without your heart, how long can you operate?" Godchaser retorted. She was obviously crabby, but given her condition I decided not to start an argument.
"Is there anything you can do to conserve Essence?" I pressed.
"I can sleep. But..." She hesitated.
"But what?" I wondered.
"There's something else wrong with me. You're going to need to fix it. Right now if I sleep, I might not wake up again." She explained.
"That's no good." I paused. "I'll have to take a look then. Tonight, after Sam goes to bed. You'll need to hold on until then."
"Okay." Godchaser agreed. For someone who usually had such unshakable faith in me, she did not sound very enthusiastic. Whatever was wrong with her hearthstone and by extension the manse that she wanted to guide me to was obviously very serious indeed. Nexus, unfortunately, was still several months travel away. I only hoped I could sustain her long enough with my clumsy fumblings to make it there. As much as she annoyed me, I couldn't deny that she was also the only thing keeping me sane.
If I was still sane at all.
I was beginning to wonder about that.
Sam and I made camp just after sunset when the sky was still slightly purple. He fell asleep almost immediately after lying down. I pretended to be sleeping myself until just after full dark, at which point I took my tools and Godchaser all the way down to the river some five-hundred yards away. It was a very overcast night, and neither the moon nor most of the stars were visible.
Very carefully, I set Godchaser on a large rock and stripped away the fabric of my cloak, hoping that the problem would be something as simple and mundane as the piece of jade that had originally prevented her hearthstone from resting comfortably in its socket. When I removed her outer carapace, a horrible burning smell assaulted my nostrils.
A black, rust-like substance had begun creeping through the orichalcum. I didn't know what it was, but there was clearly something in the metal that needed a constant supply of Essence. Corrosion had obviously been very slow as Godchaser slept for centuries, but apparently her recent activity made the deterioration faster. With her hearthstone failing, I had no choice but to keep her filled with Essence until I could figure out how to stop whatever was killing her. That would not be an easy task.
Dark as it was, the night of a new moon and an overcast sky... I hadn't even considered lighting a lamp. I'd picked up one in Windfall but hadn't bothered to purchase any kerosene. It was almost as if I'd known that I wouldn't really be using it.
"See how this does." I told Godchaser, making a few little adjustments. As I had earlier, I gave her as much Essence as I dared. She glowed brilliantly as she had when I'd first resurrected her. The Essence made her look much more impressive than she usually did, which was something of a feat... and it obviously improved her mood.
"Oh!" She exclaimed. "Oh, much better! Thank you, Maker!"
"Good. I'm glad you're feeling better. Because now I'm exhausted." I informed her, smiling slightly despite myself. I walked down to the water and splashed a little in my face, wiping my eyes on my sleeve.
I stared for a moment at my own reflection. It was difficult to believe that I'd been away from the Abbey of Mela for less than two weeks. I scarcely recognized myself. My hair was growing back very fast and my beard was a mess, coming in outrageously uneven. With my glasses on, I looked nothing at all like an Immaculate monk. If anything, I was starting to look like one of the mountain barbarians, albeit with very red hair. I'd have to clean myself up before I started hunting for passage to Nexus. While sailors weren't known for being well-kept, a ship's carpenter was sometimes an officer and expected to adhere to a somewhat higher standard of behavior.
I knew nothing at all about sailing and wondered if someone might call my bluff before giving me a berth. Then I scoffed at myself. The brand between my eyes was impossible to ignore. Considering the magnitude of what I was really hiding, why should I be worried that someone might not believe that I was a sailor? I immediately tried to extinguish the mark on my brow. It flickered for a moment in defiance of my efforts and then went out. Strangely enough, suppressing it didn't actually make me feel better. If anything, being out in the pure dark made me wish I'd bought oil for my stupid lamp.
I felt once again as if I were being watched, and I'd no idea where my pursuers might be hiding. My gut instinct, mad as it seemed... was to burn even more Essence and make some light.
"It's dark." Godchaser observed. I could see her still glowing even if I couldn't see anything else, and so I gingerly made my way back in the direction of the rock where I'd left her sitting, trying to find all of my tools without actually being able to see them. I didn't dare use any more Essence. With as much as I'd surrendered to Godchaser, I was already on the verge of glowing involuntarily. I'd learned very quickly how it felt to reach my new limit and did not make the mistake of trying to surpass it. As soon as I couldn't conceal the mark on my brow, I refused to push myself any further. I knew beyond any doubt that I'd barely exhausted even halfof my new Essence... but whatever I might accomplish was not worth the danger of being obvious.
"Ow!" I winced as I accidentally kicked my tool box. "Damnit!"
"Be careful!" Godchaser quipped.
"I am being careful, I just can't see!" I cursed.
"You'd be able to see just fine if you'd use your Caste Mark!" She retorted, very loudly.
"Godchaser! Not so loud!" I hissed.
She ignored me. "I don't know why I have to keep telling you these simple things, Maker!" Godchaser sighed. "Honestly, why are you stumbling around in the dark like a dummy? Are you still ashamed to be Exalted?" She demanded.
"Hello? Someone down there?" Sam wondered, at that moment clearing the top of the hill. His jaw dropped as he saw me.
I wasn't still glowing, thankfully. But Godchaser was.
"What the hell is that?" He whispered in awe.
"Nothing." I replied.
"Nothing? You're unbelievable! It's obviously an artifact. What's making it glow like that?" He wondered.
"I don't know." I said.
"You don't know?" He snorted, noticing my tools still scattered all over the ground where I'd kicked them. "You've been carrying it all this time, haven't you? And there's something wrong with it, so you're trying to fix it in secret where no one can see what you're up to. Because if anybody lays eyes on this thing, they're going to lose it."
"Would you believe me if I said that this is not what it looks like at all?" I asked.
"You're a lousy liar, Copper Spider. I knew there was something weird about you already. This is not exactly what I was expecting, but..." He gestured to Godchaser. "Where did you get it?" He demanded.
"You won't believe me if I tell you." I replied.
"I'd believe you if you told me that thing crashed down from Heaven inside of a giant peach!" He vowed. For the second time he emphasized the word "thing" as he pointed at Godchaser and her non-existent patience shattered.
"How very rude! I'm not a "thing"!" Godchaser protested.
"It's alive!" Sam gasped, slipping on the wet grass and falling flat on his back.
Godchaser giggled.
"Stop it, Godchaser! I swear I'll dismantle you!" I threatened.
Godchaser fell silent.
"Godchaser?" Sam echoed incredulously. In fairness, her name did beg repeating.
He stared in silence for a long time.
I sighed. "Just he fact that you've seen her might get you in trouble. She's the reason I didn't want you to travel with me, Sam. Please don't tell anyone! I didn't steal her and she's not a weapon. I've never killed anyone and I don't intend to... but I am in a lot of trouble right now and without Godchaser I'll probably end up dead. With her it's maybe even more likely... but in any case, I can't just leave her somewhere!"
"Why not?" Sam wondered. "That's what I'd do if somebody gave me something like that!"
"You only say that because you don't know her." I didn't say more, but the expression on my face must have made what I was thinking obvious.
"That cannot be your friend! It's not even human!" Sam protested.
I didn't respond. He hadn't meant anything, saying that last word as he had, but it did remind me of my own position. Perhaps a construct was the only friend an Anathema could have. Maybe that was why I'd built her in the first place.
It took me a moment to sort out the thought that had just occurred to me. I'd built Godchaser?
Of course, she'd called me "Maker" from the very beginning, but I'd never been sure of her claims. I couldn't remember any sort of past life, let alone one in which I was an Anathema, the ruler of a city... and apparently also a woman. But when Sam had started shouting at me, he'd sparked something in my mind, a fragment of a memory.
I was putting on a pair of very unusual gloves.There was a smell in the air that was distinctly familiar to me. The room I was in was maddeningly hot, and in front of me loomed an enormous furnace that glowed like a meteor. With my hands I reached into the furnace, taking out a mold filled with liquid orichalcum.
Very carefully, I reached for a chain I wore around my neck. Attached to it was a small vial of something iridescent. I opened it and held my breath as I poured its contents into the cooling orichalcum. The myriad of colors bled through the metal, moving like stormclouds. I waited, and when I was convinced that enough time had passed, I took a chisel and cracked away the mold. A familiar-looking mask fell into my hands, not yet disguised with an ivory shell.
I said nothing, of course. I only stared at Godchaser, who blinked owlishly at me, as if she couldn't imagine what I was thinking.
Finally, Sam sighed in defeat. "You're a good man, Recluse. No bastard could make up that bit you did last night about diamonds and the sun and all of that. I don't know who it is you're afraid of, but I won't tell a soul about this. Although you should definitely be more careful!" Without another word, Sam walked away.
"Well, that didn't go so bad!" Godchaser chirped, breaking the silence between us. "In fact, I doubt he even knows you're a Solar!"
"Godchaser, do not say that word!" I warned. "Sam might still be listening!" I sighed in defeat. "Look, I didn't want it to come to this, but there are some things that I am going to have to order you not to do anymore."
"Okay!" She agreed readily. "I'll make a list!"
"It'll be a short list." I paused. "First rule. You will be absolutely silent when I tell you to! No talking, no laughing, no sighing or anything! Not a single noise, not even a whisper! No one can know that you're alive!"
"But..." Godchaser protested.
"No buts! These are orders, remember?" I paused. "Do you understand what an order is?"
"I have to do what you say." Godchaser replied. "Even if I don't like it."
"Yes, you do. You had better start listening to me or Sam's right. I'm going to leave you behind!" I said.
"I'd follow you!" Godchaser vowed.
"You still can't teleport! You can barely hover!" I reminded her. "Not more than a foot or two, and it costs you more Essence than you have currently."
"You're being horrible, reminding me of that." She remarked with distaste.
"You need reminding. Things are not the way you think! The world is different now, and it is a very dangerous place for both of us!" I informed her. "Now for the second rule. When we are talking, even when it seems like we're alone... there a few things that you still absolutely cannot say! It's bad enough if someone overhears you giggling, but certain words are even worse. For example "Caste Mark".
"That's two words." Godchaser corrected me.
"Treat it like one. Don't say "Caste Mark", don't imply that I have one and definitely don't ask me to "turn it on"! I ordered her.
"Okay, so I'm not going to say "Caste Mark". Why do you not like those words... word?" Godchaser demanded, correcting herself.
"It's not a matter of what I like or don't like! It's about what's going to get us in trouble!" I sighed in defeat. "And the next word that you're not allowed to say is the otherword you just said! Exalted. Do not say that word! Ever! Don't even whisper it! And don't say Solar! Or Twilight! People know that it means the same thing as Unclean and..."
"It does not!" Godchaser was absolutely aghast. "Unclean means you don't bathe! It means you do bad things or have bugs under your skin! Twilight means you're like you are, Maker. Like a diamond!"
I bit my lip slightly. Was I never going to escape that idiotic monologue of mine? I'd been trying to explain something that was very literal from my perspective. Sam had somehow turned it into a metaphor for the whole of Creation and Godchaser had taken it as a discourse on the saintliness of Anathema! "Godchaser, to normal people it means the same thing! That's what I've been trying to explain to you. If what I am is as great as you think it is... then why is everyone in Creation trying to kill me? And you can't say they're all stupid because that isn't true!" I finished.
"Maker!" She protested.
"No, don't call me "Maker"! If Sam tells anyone about you, I'm going to have to pretend that I stole you or found you somewhere! I can't be your Maker, Godchaser! Not without being Anathema!" I sighed heavily. It felt very strange saying those words... especially since I'd protested that I was "not" Godchaser's "Maker" more times than I could count. But after what I'd just remembered, I couldn't bring myself to deny our connection. Though I still didn't know how I'd built her or why, I was sure that Godchaser was my creation. I had made her in a previous life, which was why I'd been able to resurrect her when Dragonlord Chiron had brought her to me. Was what had happened to me inevitable? Had there always been a demon buried deep in my soul, waiting to be released?
"But if I can't call you Maker, then what do I call you? I'm not going to use that A-word. I don't like it at all!" She protested.
"I didn't say you had to use it. I don't like it either. And you'd better not say it, because that will get us in trouble too." I sighed.
"But... but I've always called you Maker!" Godchaser protested. "That's what you are to me!"
I realized belatedly trying to stop Godchaser from using that word was something akin to forbidding a child from saying "mother".
"All right, you can call me "Maker". "But quietly, and you're still not allowed to say any of those other words! Now will you stop shouting and making a scene? How are you working? Are you still losing Essence, or are you okay now?" I asked.
"Yes, fine, yes and no." Godchaser replied, answering each of my questions as succinctly as she possibly could.
"Are you not okay because you're broken?" I pressed.
"I'm not okay because you'rebroken." She retorted.
It was the last thing she would say for a long while.