in which Shepard shows she is a woman

" 'm hot." Shepard murmured pushing Garrus away.

"Can't help that." Garrus mutter reaching out to pull Shepard closer.

"Don't touch me. I'm hot." Shepard said glaring at Garrus. "And my bones hurt."

Garrus shrugged mentally and wiggled around to find a comfortable spot.

"Still hot..." Shepard growled, "Bad enough I couldn't get to sleep, now I get woken up by a six foot furnace." the next thing Garrus knows there is a pair of knees in the small of his back and he is sliding for the edge of the bed. He twists to try to stop his slide but to no avail, he thumps to the floor.

"Better, cooler now." Then she curled up in to a tight ball.

Garrus picked himself off the floor, glanced over at the time, he decide to head down to the batteries, and run some test. Because he did not think it was smart to get back in bed tonight.

***

Joker sat at the table cup of coffee forgotten as he used his hand to help describe something that Garrus could not hear. The woman across from him let out a big laugh, not caring if anyone looked at her. Garrus hesitated with his tray of food, finally he decide to address the pilot. "Joker, I was not aware we could bring non crewmen aboard." Joker rolled his eyes, "Annnd I see the stick is firmly back in place." Garrus eyes narrowed, noting to himself to asked Shepard later what Joker meant by that.

"Don't worry, I already cleared the visitor with Shepard." Joker snapped. The woman looked over at Garrus.

"Turian?" she stated looking at Garrus. "My Grandmother fought in the relay 314 incident." Garrus found himself bracing for the slurs that always came after that sort of opening. "Well Joker you going to introduce us?" she glared at Joker, "or has civilian life really made you that lazy?" she verbally poked at Joker. Garrus found himself grinning at the comment.

"Lauren Henley, Garrus Vakarian, Garrus, Lauren. There lieutenant you happy now." Joker said.

"Perfectly. It's a pleaser to meet you Garrus, you're from Palaven?" Lauren smiled up at Garrus. Who stood in shock for a moment.

"Yes, I am from Palaven, how did you know?" Garrus settled his plate on the table a few seat down from the two. She tapped her face to indicate his markings.

"Grandma made sure us kids could id most turian's markings. So we could show proper respect." Lauren took a sip of her drink never losing her smile. Garrus mandibles flicker in confusion. But Joker was the first to speak.

"But I thought you said she fought in the first contact war?" Joker asked dumb founded.

"She did, she was station at Shanxi, served time in a turian POW camp too. She has great respect for them."

Joker looked over at Lauren, "why do I have the feeling there is more to it than that."

Lauren snorted, "depends on who you ask, I will say that she was unmarried at the time. My grandfather had passed on before the incident, my father and his sister, where being raised by an aunt." Lauren leaned back in the chair, "well according to most she suffers slight Stockholm syndrome towards the turians. However my cousin and I have a, uh slightly different thought." Lauren took another sip and watched as Joker leaned in a bit.

"Well?" He asked.

"What? Oh you want my opinion?" Lauren asked. Joker made a gahk sound. Lauren let out a laugh.

"You're horrible. You know that." Joker sulked.

"Poor baby, fine I'll tell you, we think it's more in line of the Kirk syndrome."

"Never heard of that. What is it?" Joker said.

"It's from an old show way back when we were first starting in to space. It the nickname for basic human nature, we have three instincts when we come across something new, can we eat it?" she counted off on her fingers as she named them, "Can we kill it? Can we fuck it?" Garrus and Joker both sputtered a bit on the last one, "anyway, this show had a captain, his name was Kirk, and every episode he would explore some new planet, would kill a bunch of 'aliens' then fuck one, or sometimes more, women from said planet." Lauren shrugged a bit.

"Ok, so what does the Kirk have to do with your grandma and the turian?" Joker asked.

"Well she never said outright, but anytime we asked she makes some comments about the fact that if turian saliva mix with human blood in a cut it will leave a purplish blue stain," Lauren paused looking both Joker and Garrus in the eyes, she could see that the truth was dawning on them. "Mmm, did I mention she got this kind of nifty purplish blue 'bite' mark on her collar bone." she said in an offhand manner.

"Ah gross, I Did Not need to think about that." Joker plopped back in his chair, "I am so having nightmares now."

"Someone gave you nightmares, Joker, who did this?" Shepard asked as she came in to the room a smiling, "Because they deserve a medal. Lieutenant Henley right?" Shepard turned to Lauren, she snapped to attention.

"Yes ma'am."

"At easy, I'm a civy now." Shepard held out her hand for a shake. "And anything you do keep my pilot hopping is a good thing." Lauren shook Shepard's hand then sat back down.

"Garrus." Shepard mummer as she went over to get a plate of food.

"Joker why didn't you tell me she was a Kirk!" Lauren exclaimed caching the glances of the human and turian.

"What? No it's not. Agh, tmi...TMI." Joker sputtered, while Garrus tried to not choke on his food. Lauren busted out in laughter.

"I think I missed something, anyone care to explain...Joker." Shepard said as she sat down next to Garrus.

"I hate you." Joker dead paned to Lauren. "You set that up."

Lauren shook her head, "no it's all true, I swear-" Lauren sat up and touched her ear, "Sir." Lauren made a face, "yes sir, I will be more than happy to cut my leave short, but do you mind if I...uh...put on some clothes first. I was not expecting you to call and I am a bit indisposed at the moment." Lauren mouth twisted in to a feral smile. "Yes sir, a half hour"

"Sorry, Commander, Garrus, it has been a pleasure."

"Do you often lie to you commanding officer?" Shepard asked eyebrow raised.

"Only when he cut's my leave so I can help him do his paperwork." Shepard made a knowing sound. "Joker I should have time, do you want to escort me to the door?" Lauren smile smoothed to an easy going one. Joker got up and the two head for the elevator.

"I like her," Shepard then turned to Garrus, frowning, "so what is a Kirk?" this time Garrus did choke on his food.

***

"Dr. Solus, do you have a moment?" Garrus came in to the room.

"Yes yes, waiting for test to run, Joker's condition is curable just need to find one that won't also kill him." Mordin stated.

Garrus ran his talon along the desk, "It's about Shepard, she been acting odd."

"Odd how? Is she angry, she is aggressive, not sleeping, avoidance, nightmares, slow reaction time, exhaustion, hypervigilance, nausea, tremors, headaches, preoccupied with minor issues, sweating, or loss of appetite?" Mordin asked. Garrus stood there for a moment while the doctor waited for an answer.

"You lost me after not sleeping." Garrus admitted, he glanced around the room refusing to meet Mordin's eyes.

"How is she acting odd?" Mordin huffed out the short sentence.

"Mood swings, irritably, she mentioned that she was having trouble falling asleep, and bones where hurting." Garrus replied slowly. Wondering if he was being silly for bring this up.

"humm." Mordin type a few things on his Omni tool, "and how did you know about her mood swings and irritability?"

"She uh, kicked me out..." Garrus turned and played with one of the empty beakers, "of bed this morning. And she had been very moody, for her, I can't just point to one thing and say that was off." Garrus did not see Mordin lip twitch up in a smile which was gone by the time Garrus turned back around.

"It sounds like she might have something the humans refer to as PMS; I suggest you talk to Doctor Chakwas, she will be better able to explain this human condition." Mordin replied, typing a few more things in his Omni tool.

Garrus took a deep breath, "if you think I should?" Mordin nodded, Garrus turned and head for the elevator.

"Wonder if can fix, so human and turian can have offspring...wonder if Shepard wants offspring..." Mordin went back to his research.

***

"Doctor, do you have a moment?" Garrus came in to the medical bay. Chakwas looked up from the data pad, "Of course, please sit." She motion to the nearby chair. Garrus sat down but keep his back straight and looked a spot over Chakwas shoulder. Chakwas blink at his demeanor, trying to figure out what was wrong...

"I am worried about Shepard." He finally stated. Chakwas nodded to herself, he was nervous about going behind Shepard's back. Garrus final looked Chakwas in the eyes, desperation evident in his voice, "what is PMS?" Chakwas froze, thinking this must be a joke. Then she realized that Garrus did not know the implications of what he said.

"PMS, Premenstrual syndrome? Why do you ask?" Chakwas asked, stepping on the urge to smile at Garrus nervousness.

"She has been acting odd, I" he hesitated, making Chakwas suspect he had already talked to Mordin, "did some research and suspect that it is something that was called PMS. But I don't really know much...I might be wrong." Garrus looked down at his armor, running his talons along the seams, he refused to look up.

"I hope it is." Chakwas stated. She turned and punched a few commands in to her data pad. Smiling at the information that came back.

Garrus head snapped up, "why?"

Chakwas deiced simplification would be best for the turian, know that not even human male general like discussing this. "Do you know anything about human pregnancy?" Chakwas asked. When Garrus shook his head. "Woman, human woman, have a fertile cycle, Shepard has not had one since they brought her back. If it has started, that means two things. First, that her body is finally more or less back to what it was before..." Chakwas hesitated, Garrus nodded in understanding.

"The other?" he asked.

"If she wanted to have kids she could. However a down fall of this cycle is we tend to have a few days each month of...'Oddness'." Chawas smiled.

Garrus leaned back in the chair, "so this is, or will be normal?"

"To some degree yes." Chakwas nodded.

"Is there anything I can do to help. She said her bones where hurting."

"She probably meant her joints, which is one of the symptoms. Do you really want to help her?" she asked, Garrus nodded, his eyes hardening, Chakwas knew he would not let anything get between him and his goal.

"Fine let me make up a list of things she might want..." Chakwas turned back to her data pad.

***

Garrus came in to the loft; he could hear the water running and knew that Jane was in the shower. He leaned against the wall for a moment, and shudder. Garrus had got the distinct impression that some of the items on his list were not things that most human males bought, much less a turian male. Although the human teenager, female, working the last store was quite helpful. However her hysterical giggling as he left followed him all the way back to the ship.

"Garrus?" Shepard came out of the bathroom, tying her robe. Garrus opened his eyes and straitened up off the wall. He started to hand her the bag, but heisted when he smelt blood. "You're bleeding?" Garrus reached for her to check for injuries.

"I'm fine, it's nothing to worry about." Shepard growled.

"I..." Garrus held up the bag for her and refused to look her in the eye, "was worried about you, went to Chakwas, she suggested that I pick these thing up for you."

Shepard looking in the bag, "Garrus did you really go out and buy this for me?" Shepard held up a box, the one that the last shopkeeper helped him with, he nodded. Shepard let her lips twist up in a smile, the same one she had got when he told her how turians' blow off steam. Garrus loved that smile and the way her eyes danced.

"You are the best boyfriend ever." She pecked him on the mandible and darted back for the bathroom leaving Garrus standing there dazed.

"She called me her boyfriend."