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Hah! Who said I wouldn't be good at undercover missions? Naruto covered his smug smile with his hand, pretending to yawn, I freakin' rock!
They had walked into the rogue ninja hideout not two hours ago, and already he was being shown around the encampment. That's right, Uzumaki Naruto was the only member of infiltrating Team 1 that was given a tour of the inner workings of the base. He was the leader.
Granted, it might have been because he was literally the first to walk into the hideout-but Naruto thought it was far more likely that the missing ninja had immediately picked up on his untapped leadership skills. He grinned. The other, less talented, members of his team were unpacking supplies, bartering, or mingling with the outlaws. Naruto glanced over his shoulder at Sai and was a little astonished to see the socially retarded boy had somehow surrounded himself with other hunched over, bearded old guys in a variety of cowls and capes. ...Creepy...
Sakura, with her extensive knowledge of poisons, was fraternizing with the enemy with suspicious ease. Naruto squinted, if he didn't know better he could've sworn he just saw a sketchy-looking man slip a small vial into his teammate's hand. He quickly shook his head, That's ridiculous! Sakura-chan would never...
Naruto looked to his left and saw Kakashi and a large group of brawny men playing a card game of sorts. His sensei swiftly whipped out his Icha Icha book and dropped it ostentatiously into a growing pile of money and other valuables. Naruto's eyes widened, Kaka-sensei must have a really good hand, there's no way he would bet his Icha Icha if he wasn't sure he would win.
Focusing back to the task at hand, Naruto nodded in a dignified fashion to his tour guide. The man raised an eyebrow.
Naruto was led into a tent holding all of the supplies, namely, the rogue Sand-ninjas' lethal poisons and their respective antidotes. Yes! The Jinchuriki spinned around, allowing his face to assume a moderately impressed expression. This was fairly easy, considering how impressive their stock actually was. Crates upon crates of small bottles and vials of differing colors were stacked up to the ceiling. This was more than they had expected, far more. Sakura-chan has to find her way in here somehow, Naruto knew that she was the only one who would be able to determine just how many of these bottles were antidotes and how many poisons. Hopefully there were only a dozen or so poisons and matching antidotes, and the rest were just more of the same. Otherwise the rest of the Team would have to create a distraction while she spent precious time categorizing the many different concoctions.
Naruto followed his guide out of the tent, a little more serious than before. They hadn't expected the rogue ninja to be so organized or so well equipped. He pursed his lips with determination. Just because they hadn't expected it didn't mean that they weren't prepared or couldn't complete the mission.
His guide stopped outside of a large tent that was decorated with a twisting gold, black, and red oriental pattern. Hmmm, these guys are awfully fancy for outlaws.
"This is the largest and wealthiest tent in the camp. It's also the tent of our leader, Hajime-sama. He demands that he meet with all of our beneficiaries." He stared at Naruto meaningfully, "So...If you want me to keep my position then I would suggest you get in there and make nice, huh?"
Naruto's eyes widened, "Oh! Of course!" Trying to regain some semblance of composure he hastily smoothed his expression and nodded aristocratically at his tour guide, "Thank you."
When the Jinchuriki pushed confidently through the tent flap, the smooth material caressing his fingertips, he was instantly immersed into a different world. Luxuriant carpets with intricate, puzzling designs covered the ground entirely. Rooms were sectioned off by thick, gauzy drapes of red-tinged material, casting a hazy sunset glow throughout the tent. Before him was a small, old man. He was seated, cross-legged, on a flat golden cushion before a low dark wood table. Clothed in loose, lavish robes of purple so dark it was almost black, he seemed a dignified figure-Wait, woah! What the hell is that? Naruto stumbled in shock. The man slowly picked up the steaming teacup from the low, dark wood table and raised it to eye level, nodding to Naruto.
"Tea?"
Naruto nodded, not trusting himself to say anything when all he could think about was how big the old man's elaborate headdress was. It's gotta weigh at least fifteen pounds! Atop of the stooped elder's head sat an enormous tasseled headdress that somewhat resembled a squatting alligator. Or is it an ape?
A cup of tea was poured and slid over towards him. Naruto didn't drink it. Those googly-eyes are watching me... Hijame stared at him inscrutably and Naruto shifted uneasily, Did I offend him? Should I have drank it? Is that freaky hat going to eat me?
The tension evaporated when the old man started laughing heartily, clutching his stomach. Naruto forced a strained grin, his left eye slightly squinted, and laughed a little uncertainly. What in the world is he laughing at? It's a good thing my mission is to take him out-he's crazy!
"Ha. Ha. Ha. You do mean business." Hijame stroked his thin, grey goatee thoughtfully, "This is good." He leant back, smirking at Naruto, "I thought that perhaps because you were so young you would not be serious."
Naruto bowed his head, "Hijame-sama." And I thought that because you were such a wrinkly old fart you would be serious.
The next two hours the rogue ninja leader explained, in great detail, their trade and their ambitions for the future. Naruto listened with rapture, taking mental notes whenever he could. When that was over and done with, Hijame took the liberty of lecturing the young Jinchuriki on valuable life lessons. Naruto found himself struggling to pay attention. By the time the old man had finished telling some eclectic proverb about a gambling monkey and a seasick lemur Naruto's cheeks hurt from smiling encouragingly. That's it! Next time Kaka-sensei can be team leader again! This is the worst.
"Oh! You should not let an old man go on so. Ha. Ha. Ha." Hijame finally seemed to notice Naruto's lackluster expression,
"You may go now, we can discuss our plans tomorrow."
Filled with dread at what disturbing story tomorrow would bring, Naruto stiffly rose up and hurried out of the tent. He all but sprinted towards the guest tent, whisking away before the old man could remember another sentimental story. There is absolutely no way that man is a missing ninja, Naruto shook his head in disbelief, He didn't abandon any village-He was probably kicked out!
Dragging his feet, Naruto tiredly made his way through the tent towards an unoccupied cot in the middle. He fell, as dramatically as possible, face-first onto the bedding.
"What's wrong, Naruto?" Sakura asked curiously from the cot next to his. Score! I got the bed next to Sakura-chan!, Naruto fist-pumped mentally.
He groaned helpfully into his pillow as an answer. Really, it was best that he spare his teammate the nasty details. It would just make her sick and then she would have to perform medical jutsu on herself.
Naruto, lying face-first on the cushion, exhaled in a great huff and let his breath warm his face. He repeated the process a couple of times, the half-hearted self-induced suffocation calming him. After transferring his stress and annoyance into the pillow, Naruto rolled over onto his side to smile happily at the medic-nin.
Sakura's mouth twisted as she tried not to smile at his antics, "You are so weird, Naruto."
But before he could retort in what was sure to be a very witty reply, their sensei stomped in with a violent swinging of the tent flaps. Both Naruto and Sakura were so shocked by the older man's emotional display of infantile behavior they just stared.
Kakashi huffed and crossed his arms petulantly. Naruto thought he could see the faint outline of a pout underneath the mask.
"What." Kakashi snapped, his expression a confusing cross between a wink and a glare. Naruto's mouth fell open, unable to formulate any response due to his temporary paralysis.
Luckily, Sakura was capable of coherent speech, "Um...sensei?" She blinked in confusion, "Why are you only wearing one shoe?" Naruto inwardly sighed, Leave it to Sakura-chan to address his fashion choices when Kaka-sensei decides to shed a few years and act like a pouty kid.
Kakashi glowered darkly and the temperature dropped a couple degrees.
"And...And your scarf and goggles...where?" She trailed off lamely at the growing tension in their sensei's slender frame.
The propagation of hostility in the room was thankfully brought to a cease by Sai's clumsy entrance into the already too crowded tent. Kakashi sulkily took this as his cue to shuffle rigidly over to the farthest cot and stare accusingly at the wall.
Sai, characteristically oblivious to the emotional turbulence he had just interrupted, looked around blankly before lying down on the closest bed. Which was, of course, next to Naruto. Sakura and the Jinchuriki shared mutual looks of exasperation and uneasiness. That is, Naruto looked at her, exasperated, while Sakura frowned uneasily. A strained silence fell upon Team One's tent. The sound of crickets chirping and a light drizzling rain echoed awkwardly through the tense atmosphere. Naruto felt like he needed to sneeze but was afraid to.
"He lost that little orange book he's always reading." Sai supplied conversationally, "apparently it doesn't matter that you have a winning hand if everybody plays by their own rules. It's a good thing the game ended when it did, I think he was going to bet his-"
There was a shattering crack from Kakashi's side of the tent. The three of them whipped their heads over to see that their normally calm sensei had broken the metal headboard of his cot. Naruto swallowed.
"All in all, they seem like a good group to trade with. I especially liked that blonde boy, he is a very engaging conversationist if I do say so myself." The old man had to reach up to keep his gargantuan headdress steady as he nodded amicably to the man across from him. A dark chuckle filled the dimly lit tent. The elderly man squinted and saw the man's broad shoulders move up and down with the motion.
"Makoto." The shadowed outline shook its head slowly.
"Hijame-sama?" Makoto fingered one of the silver tassels on his headdress, a nervous habit. How did the man before him always make him feel as if he were a child? I'm at least fifty years older than him, the old man mused, Shouldn't it be the other way around? But Makoto knew that one didn't become the leader of a notorious band of rogue ninja by being foolish. Hijame could be brutish and a little sadistic at times, but if there was one thing the old man knew about him it was that he was wily as a fox. Makoto smiled to himself, That reminds me of that one parable about the fox and the sequined handkerchief...
"Sharingan Kakashi has infiltrated our camp." Hijame whispered, his voice a low rumble in his muscular chest.
Makoto squeaked as his enormous headdress crashed to the floor beside him, he had accidently yanked too hard on some tassles. He let it lay where it had fallen.
"What-What?" The elderly man's hands shook and he peered around anxiously, as if the Copy-nin would spring at him any moment. Another sinister chuckle was the only response he was given.
"Why?" Makoto, pointed a withered finger accusingly at Hajime, "If you knew it was him, then why did you let him in? Are you trying to kill us all?" The old man's voice was a emphatic whisper.
"Relax, Makoto." Hijame stalked around the low table towards the old man, picked up the ridiculous headdress, and replaced it smoothly to his balding crown, "I would have thought that, after all that we'd accomplished together, you would have more trust in me."
'I knew who he was the second one of my men informed me that one of our beneficiaries had a long scar across his left eye and had white hair...Wouldn't have expected him to bet his Icha Icha though.' Hijame stood up and turned away from the older man, crossing his corded arms behind his back, 'By that time though, it was too late for me to do anything. He was already in. We need to assume that those who came with him are enemies as well."
Makoto relaxed slightly, reassured by his leader's confident words, "What do you suggest we do, Hijame-sama?"
There was a slight pause where the tall man deliberated.
"We take advantage of the situation." Hijame ran his fingers thoughtfully across the soft material of the tent wall before him, "With our weapons, he can't afford to make one mistake. He's as good as ours if we play our cards right. All we'd need to do is immobilize him long enough to get him on the market and we'd be swimming in riches."
Makoto nodded to himself, it made sense. Although there was one thing that still bothered his aged mind, "But how do you plan on keeping him immobilized that long? You and I both know it will take at least two weeks to get to the nearest market, and that's discounting the interference Sand's been causing there recently. He's Sharingan Kakashi, there's no way we can contain him for a long period of time with just chakra-repressing handcuffs."
There was another silence, but it was darker than the first.
"As you know, I've been working on a new poison for the last month or so. It should be able to preoccupy him so that he is no longer a threat to us. However," Hijame chuckled to himself, " it hasn't been perfected yet."
"Hasn't been perfected yet? What do you mean it hasn't been perfected yet?" Makoto failed to realize how this was funny. If there was the slightest chance of the Copy-ninja breaking free, the man was sure to find it. And then he would die!
Hijame pulled back the tent entrance to peer at the guest tent across the encampment. The silver moonlight illuminated him and Makoto, despite himself, felt a tingle of fear at the intimidating sight.
"I haven't thought of an antidote."
And so the plot thickens...
Makoto means "sincerity"and Hijame means "origin" or "beginning" in Japanese. Buuut I just thought I'd let you know that for some reason Hijame turns into Hajime later on. And I don't know what the hell Hajime means! So yah… that's a womp. :P
Thanks for reading! And thanks for letting me know what you think-I really appreciate hearing from anyone who reads.
~Flinty
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Does anyone else think that Kakashi as a toddler would be just freakin' adorable! … Would anybody read a story about that?