...

"So you see, the camel was really looking for understanding and acceptance the whole time-he didn't mean to step on those amphibians." The old man looked imploringly to his audience, his face wrinkling with tearful passion.

Naruto tried to stop his left eye from twitching, That was the longest, most disturbing story that I have ever heard in my entire life, he felt squeamish. Why would anyone call him Hajime-sama?

"Mhmm, that reminds me of another proverb. You'll like it, it's about a young ox that has trouble controlling his flatulence and is cruelly isolated from-"

"Oh HELL no!" Naruto sprang up from his seat cushion, both of his knees popping stiffly with the sudden movement. He pointed accusingly at the little old man, "I really didn't want to kill you! But that last story about the sadistic camel squashing those little frogs has just done it!"

Naruto, enraged at the thought of having to endure another pointless story in that monotonous voice, missed the steely glint in the old man's eyes. He whipped out a kunai and swiftly lobbed it at the old man's voice box.

There was a sharp clang of metal striking metal. Naruto's kunai clattered to the floor, a shurikan falling ominously beside it.

He hesitated for a moment, taken off guard, before pulling out another kunai from his pouch. Where did that come from? Blue eyes flickered across the inside of the tent, searching for the hidden attacker. Why was it that he was just now noticing all of the rooms sectioned off by thick, gauzy red fabric? Naruto raised his arm, ready to deflect more shurikan from his face, and backed up slowly so that his back was to a wall.

The old man slowly rose up, his aged eyes gleaming with unexpected mischievousness. "You really should have paid more attention to the parable about the insolent crow that had an unhealthy obsession for pickled watermelon rinds," Naruto felt a knot of unease twist in his stomach as those eyes stared at him meaningfully, somber despite the ridiculous words, "If you had, you wouldn't be in this situation."

Naruto frowned, about to make an angry retort, when he was interrupted by a girlish scream. That sounds like Sakura! The camp was filled with the sound of many stamping footsteps and shouting voices. Naruto's eyes widened and he turned his head to try and see the scuffle going on outside through the thin opening in the tent flap.

During the split second where his attention was diverted, two thick arms wrapped around him from behind. Naruto yelped in surprise and fear as the silky material was cocooned about him. His arms were pinned to his sides. He froze, blue eyes wide, as a dark laugh rumbled through the broad chest that was pressed against his back. He struggled madly, some type of primitive, animalistic fear surging up within him. Before he could remember the kunai in his clenched fist, he was thrown to the floor, the silky material tangling around him.

Naruto struggled furiously, trying to free himself from the thick fabric. A sharp blade was shoved up against his neck, and he stilled, breathing hard. Through the red film ensnaring him, he could see the hazy outline of his attacker bending over him. There was more shouting from outside the tent. The blade pressed harder against his throat, drawing blood, and Naruto had to tilt his head back to avoid a fatal injury. There was a derisive snicker and the gauzy fabric was ripped away from him in one fluid motion. As the thin covering was torn from him, a feeling of nakedness surged through him.

Before he knew what had happened, Naruto was flipped over, his kunai was kicked out of his hand, and cold metal encircled his wrists. He had been handcuffed.

A large boot stomped between his shoulder blades, pinning him to the floor like a bug. The air whooshed out of his lungs painfully. The sharp blade returned to his throat.

How, Naruto blinked in shock, how did this happen?

"Makoto," a deep voice resounded above him, "Go block all radio transmissions and tell the men to bring the rest of the infiltrators in here."

"Yes, Hijame-sama."

Naruto frowned, momentarily confused. He watched out of the corner of his eye as the old man bowed to the man restraining him. Wait, that old man wasn't Hijame-sama? He was just pretending to be? Shit! That means-

"Haha, you've been played, little man." Naruto growled at the unpleasant voice, "Did you all really think we weren't expecting this? If you wanna kill me, you're gonna have to do better than that."

Naruto's eyes widened as the realization fully struck him. This man, the one pinning him to the floor, holding a blade to his neck, and laughing at him, was the one he had come here to kill! The old man, Makoto, he was called, had been nothing but a decoy the whole time! They had all been tricked.

"Try anything and they die!" a loud voice barked harshly outside of the tent.

Oh no! Sakura-chan, Kaka-sensei, Sai!

"No, Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura's panicked cry sounded a little strangled, "Just go! We'll be-" Naruto's eyes widened at the sound of flesh connecting with flesh. His stomach clenched at Sakura's gasp. Sakura!

But Naruto could only watch in horror as everything went wrong.

Sai and Sakura were dragged into the tent. Their wrists were handcuffed behind them, and each of them had a kunai pressed so hard into their necks that thin dribbles of blood had started spilling out. At least eight rogue ninja had them in their grasp, holding them still. Sai looked emotionless as always, but Sakura's face was flushed and contorted with anger.

Things couldn't be any more wrong.

Just then, Kakashi stepped through the tent opening. Naruto felt a warm wave of relief rush through him at the sight of his sensei. Kakashi held a kunai before him, his mismatched eyes glaring over his arm in an expression of icy hate. Killing intent rolled off of his tense form in waves, so palpable that it suffocated any sound within the tent mercilessly. Naruto had only ever seen his former sensei this angry, no, this furious one time before. When Zabuza had rendered him incapable of protecting his students. Naruto smirked, despite the cold blade drawing blood from his neck, Now they're in for it.

The Copy-ninja positioned himself against the tent wall so that he was facing the rogue ninja. He was on the balls of his feet, continuously shifting his weight. The sight reminded Naruto of how a cat crouches as it prepares to pounce, controlled and graceful.

Naruto held his breath and watched as Kakashi's eyes, one a steely grey and the other a devilish red, flitted quickly through the room. Even though he knew his sensei wasn't mad at him, he felt his heart stop when that icy glare swept over him.

Everyone held their breath, their eyes trained on Kakashi. Naruto felt Hijame's foot press harder into his back. His sensei stepped forward. All of the rogue ninja tensed, tightening their grip on their weapons.

Kakashi fell to his knees, kunai tumbling unceremoniously to the floor.

The sudden movement startled one of the rogue ninja, and he reflexively slashed their sensei across the chest. Sakura cried out, as if she had been the one wounded. Kakashi winced, but bowed his head submissively. There was a shocked silence as everyone in the room was confronted with the disquieting image of the famed Copy-Cat Ninja holding out his wrists meekly. What...What just happened?

Hesitating only for a moment, three rogue ninja quickly wrestled Kakashi's thinner frame to the floor. Roughly bending his arms behind his back, they held his wrists together high between his shoulder-blades. Any higher and they would be dislocating his shoulders. When he straightened one of his legs, the miniscule movement frightened one of the rogue ninja into kicking him in the ribs. Sakura sobbed drily.

He didn't struggle at all.

Handcuffs were snapped onto his wrists, as tight as possible. Multiple hands rubbed callously up and down his lithe body. Fingers scrabbled invasively in their search for any hidden weapons. His head was shoved down and his cheek was pressed into the carpet. Feathery bangs tumbled softly into mismatched eyes, the glossy silver strands shadowing his docile, accepting gaze.

Naruto tasted something bitter in his mouth.

What just happened?

Sakura snuggled her shivering self closer to the warm bodies of her teammates. She didn't even care that Naruto was snoring, or smelled, or sometimes attacked people in his sleep-she was freezing!

The grass was damp with cool beads of moisture, and it was seeping into her clothes and skin. If I ever get out of this the first thing I'm doing is taking a nice warm bath! But just thinking about such toasty bliss that was beyond her reach was torturous, so she tried to think about something else. After a minute of careful speculation, Sakura realized that she was too cold to even think about anything else than how cold she was!

Right now she was sandwiched between Sai and Naruto, a desperate attempt to keep her body temperature above freezing. It actually wasn't so bad because, after a moment, Sai had snuggled up to her too. Normally this type of behavior would result in a big bump on the head, but, given the freezing circumstances, Sakura welcomed it gratefully. Maybe wearing a big, ugly vampire cloak and a badger wasn't such a bad idea for a disguise...

Sakura looped her handcuffed hands around Naruto, he had started to roll away from her. The sleeping boy mumbled something that sounded oddly like, 'Don't let the camel squish you!', and curled softly into her embrace. Sakura shivered and rolled her eyes, Trust Naruto to be perfectly unfazed by all of this. In fact, it really seemed like she was the only one who was upset that they had been found out, interrogated, and unable to contact their backup team. Everyone but her was sound asleep.

Even Kakashi, who had been treated the harshest, was asleep. Sakura lifted her head to peer over at her former sensei. He was lying a small distance from the three of them. As soon as she saw him she felt a strange protectiveness towards him swell within her. He was curled in on himself, his shoulders hunched and his knees brought up to his chest. To her, he looked delicate and bird-like because of the way he had buried his face into his shoulder. Or maybe it was because, for the first time ever, she had seen her her sensei submissively allow himself to get beaten.

Why did he do that?

She knew that he could have done something. Nevermind the fact that each of his teammates had a blade pressed into their necks, Sakura knew that he could've done something. He was the man who mastered over a thousand jutsu! He should've been able to do something! She found herself getting angry at him, but then stopped. It wasn't his fault, she just wanted someone to blame for how everything went wrong.

Sakura shivered again, feeling a familiar tightness in her throat and a stinging in the back of her eyes. This was her first time ever being interrogated and it was a little intense. Not that she was feeling a little like she was going to cry or anything. It had just been four hours of abrasive insults and threats intermingled with harsh punches and yanks at her hair. Nothing she couldn't handle. She was a kunoichi of Konoha that could split boulders with her tiny, pedicured foot. These guys didn't know who they were dealing with.

But all the same...She just wanted to go home.

The night was silent but for the whisper of leaves rustling in the wind, an eerie sound that played on her nerves. With all of her teammates asleep, she felt as if she were alone in the cold night. Alone in the world.

The rogue ninja had posted guards. They were standing a distance enough away that they couldn't hear or see her if she cried. Not that she would cry. Sakura sniffled pitifully, definitely not crying.

"Sakura?"

She was startled by her sensei's hesitant whisper. He sounded hoarse, but the soft baritone of his voice soothed her slightly. I thought he was asleep, Sakura wondered if he had noticed her looking at him.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura was proud of how steady her voice was, she didn't sound upset at all. Not that she was upset.

She turned her head to see him wriggle towards her in an improvised version of an armless army crawl. Sakura would have laughed if she weren't so miserable, he looked ridiculous. He cast his grey eye, an obsidian glint in the shadows, over her slumbering teammates and herself. If Sakura didn't know better she would think he looked a little guilty, the downward tilt of his head an unconscious attempt to turn his face away. But the night was dark and she had to stop putting her own perceptions on the enigmatic Copy-ninja.

"Are you okay?" He whispered as if he didn't want either of the sleeping boys to overhear, and the childishness of the action touched her, "You should be getting some sleep."

Tell me something I don't know...She had no doubt that her body would greatly appreciate passing into temporary oblivion right about now. The only problem was that she was cold, aching, and just a little bit miserable.

"It's so cold," she shivered to emphasize her point, "I can't sleep."

Kakashi nodded his head back, and hummed contemplatively. He peered at her inscrutably for a moment before scooting closer and ducking his head so she could hear him better.

"What I'm about to tell you is a secret that I expect you to take to the grave." his dark eye smoldered with intensity, "Can you do that?"

Is he really going to tell me a secret? Sakura's eyes widened and she found herself nodding eagerly. I can't believe he's going to tell me something instead of Naruto! Sakura held her breath.

"When I was a young child I was deathly afraid of the dark, so I-"

"Sensei!"

Sakura frowned at him, "I'm not afraid of the dark!" She rolled her eyes, "Look, I appreciate your attempt at being the comforting adult figure in this situation but you don't have to make up self-deprecating stories to make me feel better!"

Kakashi looked away, frowning, "I wasn't lying to make you feel better Sakura-chan..." he mumbled around a prominent pout, "But if you don't want to hear my story then-"

"No!"

Sakura honestly didn't know why she stopped him. Maybe she just liked the sound of his voice, low and gentle on her ears compared to the raucous yells she had heard for the last four hours. Maybe there was something comforting, familiar about his presence that made her feel safe. Or maybe she just really couldn't resist hearing him divulge something about himself, even if it was a lie to make her feel better.

"No," She looked shyly up at him, "You can tell your story."

Kakashi looked her straight in the eyes for a moment, his expression inscrutable. Apparently finding her sincere enough, he gave a curt nod and started his story again.

"When I was a young child I was deathly afraid of old people so I-"

"Sssen-ssei." Sakura growled, "You said before that you were afraid of the dark, not old people!"

The Copy-ninja blinked in surprise, "Oh..." he visibly straightened, "Well to be honest I was afraid of both."

Sakura sighed, exasperated, shaking her head, "Fine. Tell me why you were afraid of the dark."

"Hmmm," He looked somewhere over her shoulder, "Whenever I saw my next door neighbor I would immediately fall to the ground, no matter where I was. You see, when I first met her that old lady pinched my cheeks so hard that it caused nerve damage, resulting in the temporary paralysis of my legs. And then, whenever I saw her, my cheeks would remember what happened and start to hurt and then my legs would get all tingly and stop working. It got to be so bad that-"

"She pinched a nerve?" Sakura deadpanned.

"Yes." Kakashi nodded solemly.

"In...your cheek?" She raised an eyebrow.

"My face cheek." he clarified.

"That temporarily caused your legs to go numb and fall out from under you?"

"Every single time." He shook his head sadly.

"Sensei?"

"Hmm?" He looked up curiously.

"Have you ever considered getting help?"

Kakashi frowned, "What are you trying to say?" There was an awkward silence.

"Sensei?" she asked again. He tilted his head towards her questioningly.

"...Thanks." She smiled up at him, "I don't think I feel as cold as before."

Kakashi looked down at her warmly and smiled. She could tell it was a real smile because his dark eye glittered and curved happily. Sakura, despite the freezing circumstances, felt safe and loved.

…

And the award for the most awkwardly endearing, unintentionally humorous comfort scene goes to… Kakashi Hatake!

Haha, I'm not even sure exactly what was going through his head when I wrote that. I still can't decide if he was being serious or if he was trying to be funny :P

Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! Thank you for reading! And please take the time to review!

~Flinty

…