Chapter Summary:
Where our duo prove that distance is no obstacle to wandering hands. (also our first M rated chapter!)
Rey runs.
She runs blindly, darting and swerving across the uneven rocky passages. She picks the paths with her eyes half closed, hoping that if she barely recognizes the spaces around her that Kylo certainly won't. He's pounding at her mind, slamming himself against her mental barricades with a rage that is downright frightening.
He's strong. It takes every ounce of her focus to keep him out of her head.
It was too easy for her to forget that until now. He was normally always so gentle with her before. Even during the interrogation he had been using precision rather than blunt force.
All that has changed. Now he's full-on assaulting her, clawing and tearing away at her mental defenses. It reminds her who he really is. The new Supreme Leader of the First Order. That's the man who's attacking her right now. Not the restrained and approaching sweet boy who used to be Ben.
He pushes harder, sensing a crack in her defenses. The crack she had stupidly left there to appease her own weakness. Rey screams, her mind briefly overrun by his furious rage. She falls, collapsing against the ground and grips her head tightly, brutally shoving him back out little by little. He doesn't even try to talk to her, simply pulls and yanks, clawing at her mind to try to link them back together again.
Apparently the Supreme Leader does not taking being broken up with very well.
When he starts losing ground, he changes strategies. Now pushing images rather than impulses into her mind They hit her rapid fire, strobing behind her eyelids one after the other. Some of them are Kylo's memories of her. Fighting against her. Fighting with her. Running with her, darting through the deep underbrush of the jungle as the cats pursued them.
There are sensations as well, some more sharply tactile and not always pleasant. Rey can feel the same burning sting that Kylo had during the storm. Her own back boils in sympathy, pain lashing through her with more than the power of a ghostly touch should possibly have.
Rey gasps then, pushing him out harder. Kylo clings all the more, not letting himself be shut out without one hell of a fight.
Give it up, Scavenger. You can't win against me. This is stronger than the both of us.
The pain intensifies, now shooting up and down the length of her arm. She can feel her knuckles split open, blood hot and fresh dripping down. Except it's not. When she forces her eyes open, her wounded limb clutched tightly to her chest, the skin across the top is smooth and unblemished. Nothing like the steady shards of pain she's feeling would lead her to believe.
Kylo is hitting something. The rock wall, probably, because he's an overgrown child and that's what he does when he doesn't get his way.
If he keeps this up, he's really going to do some damage.
Stop it Kylo!
She shouts the words at him, possibly crying them out in real life as the bones of her hand begin to protest the relentless phantom assault.
You don't care, Rey. You've said it yourself.
Gods he's being so impossible! Maybe he really is doing this on purpose. Hurting himself to get back at her and not caring what he's putting them both through.
The pain stops abruptly. Kylo's presence stills in her mind, pulling back slightly.
Rey blinks out into the open stillness of the cave. Her knuckles throb, but then he takes that pain away from her as well.
She spends a few moments gasping. Too stunned to speak and feeling incomprehensible at what's really going on.
Kylo?
He doesn't answer her at first, and Rey picks at the edges of their connection, feeling bits and pieces of his scattered emotions.
Did I hurt you?
His question sounds surprised. Had he really not realized that she'd felt everything he'd just done to himself?
Yes!
A moment of silence. Rey can almost see him. He's holding his hand. His sword hand. The kriffing idiot had been punching the rock with his good hand, and now he's in a state. He doesn't even care though. Doesn't care that he'd nearly disabled himself.
He's insane. This is it. This is why she needs to get away from him.
Rey pushes him again, shoving at him and trying to seal up the gap in her defenses. Now that Kylo's fully aware, he makes it so much harder. Impossible, perhaps. She'd been able to rid herself of him before when he'd be unaware, but now it's like trying to separate sand from water. Everywhere in her head he's flowing, spilling into her mind and filling her with his darkness.
Kylo laughs then, a loud bark that startles her, distracting her and making her loose that little bit extra purchase against him.
What? She snaps irritably, frustration bubbling up within her. Does he have to be so difficult? Can't he ever let her be?
Rey, I do believe I could listen to you describe me filling you up until the end of time. Your choice of words is very… significant.
Oh kriff off!
She pushes again, this time closing her eye and balling up her fists in concentration. He budges. She pushes harder He snarls. She growls.
Until she wins.
It's a harrowing, exhausting process, but she's stronger than he is. Or maybe not, but she's more focused and rational. Kylo is simply too belligerent to have the control needed to overcome her will to shove him out.
This time she slams her barricades up completely. Her head rings from the effort but finally all she can hear from him is a distant and persistent pounding.
That awful feeling returns immediately. The feeling of being torn in half. With it comes misery and dread but she has no choice. She can't have him in her mind when he's like this. Maybe, once he's calmed the hell down, she can check in on him. Make sure the karker isn't doing something stupid that will get them both killed.
For now, though, Rey needs to get away from him. Put as much distance between them as she can and hope that maybe, maybe the feelings lancing through her will lessen with time.
Kylo doesn't give up. Neither does their Bond.
It's becoming claustrophobic now, a feeling of pressure building inside her heart that has nothing to do with the alarmingly narrow passage she's crawling through. Their Bond is literally weighing her down, making each step forward away from him much harder than it should be.
This had happened before when they'd first crashed. Then the reasons had been obvious: life or death. Now everything is taking a toll on her. She'd been tired to begin with, had been ready to get some much needed sleep earlier before they had their tiff. Since then hours have gone by and she's nearly as physically tired as she is emotionally ruined. Keeping Kylo out of her is taking all of her concentration, though he too has been slacking somewhat in the strengths of his assaults. Neither one of them can keep going like this for too much longer.
And their Bond, their kriffing Bond… It's hurting and punishing her for it. Sharply and like a genuine physical pain. The worst headache she's ever had in her life.
Just give it a godsdamn rest… fuck…
Rey would do anything to make the vice let up. Well, almost anything.
But not that.
Kylo is too dangerous in every way. This is necessary. She has to keep reminding herself of who he really is and not whom he pretends to be when he's around her.
As she goes it becomes more and more clear that there's something else out there. The deeper she gets into these caves, the more Rey gradually becomes aware of a fourth thing. Another piece of the puzzle. Not her or Kylo or their Bond, but a new element that's calling out to her.
It's not living. Not a creature. She can't describe it any other way than as a ghostly feeling in her mind. Something about it very familiar, though, but she can't place her finger on exactly how.
Rey had thought that her choices when the passages split had been random. Now she's not so sure. It's hard to hear over all the cacophony her other half is making, slamming and kicking and cursing at her walls like a child having an epic tantrum, but she's starting to believe this new thing is trying to lead her in a very specific direction. It's answering the questions for her as she goes, subtly influencing each choice she makes. Go left or right? Go left. Three splits, which one? Take the middle path. The sensations have no words, but there is a pull and it's guiding her. And the deeper she goes the louder it becomes.
She pauses for a moment to catch her breath, leaning against the rocky side of the passage, and concentrates. Kylo has finally quieted down now. She keeps automatically pressing herself against the wall she'd put up. Nudging it aside a tiny bit to see what he's up to.
Oh. He's blocking her out for a change. Petty bitch.
Well that explains the brief moment of peace. Their Bond is still her tormentor, though, tightening the vice on her mind harder every time she gives in and lets a crack start to form.
Almost as if it can sense her thoughts, the walls of the cave passage begin to tremble.
She stands up immediately, stepping away from the wall. The trembling continues, vibrating through the ground under her feet. A sense of panic wells up in her, greatly out of proportion with the new threat.
Is this… is an earthquake? If it is that would be…
She start to run then, sprinting as best as she's able to. If this really is a tremor, she can't be here. Not in a narrow passage where she could too easily be trapped. No, she'd have a better chance of survival, marginally better, in a more open-
It stops.
The ground stops shaking just as quickly as it had started. Along with it goes that panicked feeling, leaving her confused and scared.
What in the hell was all that about? Has this planet really decided to throw a new challenge at her? Yet another challenge she'll have to face, alone this time?
Discomfited, Rey hurries on, eager to get out of this section of the caves and hopefully to find a place to rest for a few minutes.
That strange feeling grows as she continues.
Something most definitely is pulling at her, leading her forward. The section of cave she's now in is wider and more open, and there's a very strange aura about it.
There's more life, for starters. The amount of the flora and fauna had been diminishing steadily, but now all of a sudden they've come back in droves. The psychedelic mushrooms are back, giving her something to eat, as are the occasional striped flower and even a few creatures though these are new ones that she doesn't recognize. Small, rodent like animals that move exceptionally fast. So fast, in fact, that the only way that she can see them at all is from their glowing green backs streaking along the nooks and crannies of the room.
It's then that she realizes she can't hear Kylo at all. No, not through her mental barricades, but his constant presence has faded completely into the background.
Her head is humming, but not with him.
This has happened before, but then it was when she was about to be attacked by the Jungle Kitties. Now there's nothing. The little creatures, the Green Streakers she'll call them, are scared of her and not the other way around. They're no threat and there's nothing indicating that she should be afraid.
Rey walks forward carefully her lightsaber in hand but not activated. There's something going on. There's a reason she was brought here to this particular room.
When she rounds a corner, the walls are glittering like starts. Tiny dots of light, each emanating their own unique energy.
Kyber.
The walls are laced with Kyber.
This is what had been pulling her here.
It's beautiful. They shine like sequins, casting a scattering of colors but far the predominant one is green. That same green energy that seems to shape the fundamental nature of the planet.
Is this where it's coming from? This room? No, no there's more. Rey can feel a greater pull. Something much bigger much further on. Now that she knows what to look for the way is clear.
And what does she hope to find there? What good does a Kyber deposit do for her really?
Nothing probably, but it gives her a sense of direction and a purpose: go there and find it. Whatever it is. It wants to be found.
Okay. So that's how it will be. Kylo will chase her and she'll chase this aura. It's not much of a plan to go by, but it's the best she's had since falling down here.
The Kyber room leads to a great chamber full of light and water. Beyond it the passage continues with several to choose from but her soul telling her to 'go left'.
It's such a beautiful area though that Rey finally decides to stop and rest.
She's completely exhausted herself and, compounding the problem, is that she's starting to feel very lonely. It's so quiet down here, so eerily still. There's light, courtesy of the glowing rocks and the fireflies, but those do little to ease her troubled soul.
Alright, she's ready to admit it. It was better with Kylo. He was horrible company, gloomy and moody and unpredictable, but it wasn't all bad. Sometimes he would be so uncharacteristically kind with her. A side of him that Rey didn't doubt only she was allowed witness to.
And he would have been someone to talk to. A heartbeat to soothe her. A shield to protect her.
Rey slumps against the rocky ledge she's decided to make into her bed. It's been hours and hours since she ran away from Kylo, and the pressure in her head comes in waves. He's not slamming against her now, but a bone-deep weariness is starting to set in.
It's their Bond, of course. Their Bond has caused her so much grief, of course it wouldn't be content to simply sit idly back and let the two halves figure it out for themselves.
She curls up tight, having nothing but the clothes on her back to shield her from the hard, unyielding surface of the rock mattress. It's cold, too. She hadn't bothered to try and make a fire. Didn't have the energy or the motivation. Rey knows that she can't rest for long. Maybe an hour or two. She needs to keep moving and find a way out of here.
If Kylo were around…
They could continue where they left off last time.
Her face burns at the memory, but it doesn't change the fact that she's starting to miss more than just his mind.
Compounding to all of the problems she's facing is that Rey aches for him. It must be these caves. Here every emotion is heightened into far greater than it should be. Minor fear grow into full-on terrors. Anger becomes blind rage.
And lust grows as well. Transforms itself from that consistent but easily overlooked longing to be touched into… something greater. Something that Rey doesn't fully understand because it's so foreign to her.
Perhaps it's the sensory deprivation. Not enough outside stimulus here in these dark and quiet tunnels, so her body's turning to within to find anything to feel.
Kylo had accused her of exactly that. Of using him for her own needs and not caring about his. Maybe that's why she had chosen this particular rocky shelf to rest, because it reminded her of him. This spot, this uncomfortable and tiny platform, has a single flower growing out of a corner. It had caught her eye immediately when she'd first found her way in here.
This was the same sort of flower that she keeps seeing on her journey. The one Kylo had put in her hair earlier and then pricked himself on. It's not blooming yet, only starting to bud out, but Rey took it as a positive omen. Maybe this is sort of her spirit guide here? A visual signal that somehow, everything is going to be okay.
When she touches the bud, her fingertip tingles. It doesn't sting her like it did to Kylo. It's this planet. This strange, irrational world. Here everything is something other than it should be. Including herself. This planet is transforming her. Turning her into someone she doesn't recognize.
Now her soul is hurting, aching to be reunited with its other half. She shouldn't have gone. Shouldn't have separated herself from him. Her body wants the same. Longs to be close to him again like they were and then even closer still.
She's no good to herself like this, at least down here in these caves where everything becomes so much larger than life.
Rey waits until she absolutely can't stand it anymore. She wants to check in on him. See where he is and if he's missing her too.
It's tempting, isn't it? Maybe it would be enough to satisfy that damned Bond of theirs. Perhaps a few seconds of free and unobstructed connection will be enough to get it to settle the hell down for long enough for her to get a tiny bit of rest.
The moment her walls come down Rey gasps.
Countless different sensations overcame her, pulling her senses in every possible way.
For a few seconds she can feel Kylo and only Kylo. Not their bond and not even her own self.
He's far away, somewhere by the underground river that she'd left hours ago. Cold, wet water is soothing the wounds on his hand. The ones he put there himself with his display of temper. He's kneeling, his joints aching, muscles tired and sore. And he's angry.
No, not angry. Annoyed. Frustrated.
Afraid.
Kylo is searching for her and he's afraid that he's lost the trail. He's afraid that he's going to be trapped down here all by himself and he doesn't want to be alone.
Oh… Kylo.
She projects the words to him without meaning to, so wrapped up in his head that she'd forgotten about her own role in all this.
He immediately snaps his head up, glaring at her. His upper lip curls into a sneer, but he doesn't plunge inside her mind like she'd expected. Instead, he holds still, frozen with resentment.
Rey.
The sound of her name is filled with so many contradictory emotions. Rey flushes, swallowing down the nervous pit forming in her throat.
Neither of them move or speak. He watches her and she watches him. Their visions of each other never waver, staying strong and bolstered despite their physical separation.
Rey finds herself at a loss for words. There are so many things she should be saying. Instead, she focuses on their shared pain.
How is your hand?
Her question is rather pointless given the far greater issues they both seem inclined to ignore. Kylo's face hardens and he looks down, pulling his fist out of the inky dark pool he had been numbing it in. When he flexes and opens it, Rey can feel his pain through her own skin.
I think I may have fractured it.
Rey approaches cautiously, working her way closer until she can kneel down next to him. He gives no indication of being about to seize her, but she's not letting her guard down around him.
And neither is he to her. When she reaches out to touch his hand and see for herself, he draws it back. Glares at her, never breaking their eye contact as he stands up and looms over her.
I wasn't going to hurt you, Rey. You shouldn't have left me.
That isn't why she… No, of course not. She's rarely feared for her actual safety around Kylo, even when he's at his most irrational. And certainly not when they were… becoming closer.
I should go.
She shakes her head, trying to brush off his mental presence next to her. Kylo reaches out and for a second she thinks he's offering her his hand to help her up.
Then an image, raw and uncensored, flickers into her mind. An image of the two of them. No, not an image, a fantasy. It's not any way Kylo has ever known her, with her turned away from him and bent over. Her body arching against him, hands against her hips, the front of his hips slapping against the back of hers.
Rey's eyes pop open then, her hand flying up over her mouth to stifle her gasp.
It had been so real. So visceral. For a few seconds she's stunned, then she remembers that she's safe. Alone in that big chamber, surrounded by lights and water and nothing or anyone else.
Did you like that?
His voice is louder in her head, his presence heavier and becoming more firmly rooted. All her hard work to keep him corralled into place lost at just a glimpse of his-
That's how you fantasize about me? About rutting into me from behind like, like-
She doesn't know how to even describe it. Excessive and unnecessary, perhaps.
Sometimes I do. Usually not. But when I'm angry with you, Rey, yes, that fantasy seems fitting. And you didn't answer me, did you like it?
Kylo's question makes her squirm. How dare he ask her that? Ask her whether she-
Rey.
He draws out the sound of her name and Rey can't tell if he's being serious or not.
I don't know!
Surprise ripples through their connection. Neither of them had expected her to answer like that, but now it's out there for him to judge and exploit.
...You don't know, Rey? Are you sure about that? Perhaps you'd like to run away again? See if that suits your perfect vision of right and wrong better?
Rey pouts. She wants to shut him out, but he's daring her. If she backs down now he'll have won this fight and he's not allowed to win against her ever.
Oh, are you still there?
Now he's taunting her and not even trying to hide it.
Don't be like this, Kylo.
She's fallen for his trap and she knows it, but what choice does she have? Run from him now and he will know that… that he can effect her like this. That there's one area of their association where he can easily get the better of her.
Even when he's like this, when he's at his worst, she still wants him. If anything, their shared Force vision is making her desire only intensify the longer it continues between them.
An unreal touch against her arm brings her out of her thoughts. He's stroking the exposed area of her skin between her tunic sleeves and forearm wrappings. It's a small, innocent sensation but even that makes her shiver.
And it feels so real. Like he's really there right with her and not someplace far and unknown. This is new. Never before have their Force linkings been so vivid.
Is the cave doing this, too? Are they making our connections more powerful?
Kylo seems to consider it. When she closes her eyes she can see him. He's hovering over her, his fingertips drawing unknown shapes as he tugs the top of her wrapping free, slowly baring her arm to him.
The fabric band slips down, pooling against the dirty floor. Rey frowns at it, unwilling to bring her gaze up to meet his.
Would you prefer something else, Scavenger? A different fantasy that I've had of you. I have many. We can try to find something you might like more.
His hand slides down the length of her arm to take her hand. She shakes her head. The shadows cast by the glowing rocks reveal her and only her. He shouldn't feel this real, like he's right here with her.
I thought you were angry with me?
Her heart starts to beat faster when she asks it. All she can stare at is her bare wrist, wrapped tightly by Kylo's projected touch.
Furious.
He steps closer, catching her chin with her other hand and guiding her up to standing.
Your heart is beating awfully fast, Lightsider. Does it help if you remind yourself that I'm not really here?
She finally forces herself to look up at him. There's anger in his eyes and it's an emotion she knows so well from him. But there's more. A need that she's only recently become intimately familiar with.
You're really not running away.
His voice sounds incredulous. Rey's mind is rapidly shutting down. Whatever protests she keeps at the ready are failing now at this most crucial of times.
He's right. Not completely, but enough. This isn't real. They're not really doing this.
Kiss me.
She tips her chin up expectantly when she gives the order, waiting for him to say something smart-assed that will be obnoxious enough to shock her senses back into her.
He takes her head in her hands, holding her with that gentleness that defies who he should be. Then he kisses her but her forehead not her lips.
You're a very, very selfish girl, Rey.
He rests his own forehead against her and she sighs, her lips tingling in expectation.
Kylo… she whines when he starts to pull away.
Shhh… We do this on my terms, Rey. Or you can leave me now, again, and scratch your own itch.
His hands drop away and he steps back, letting her make up her mind.
Rey doesn't feel like herself. Their connection, this pull between them, is drowning out all her common sense.
This is alright. This is okay. It's not real. This doesn't mean anything.
You're a terrible liar, Rey.
Shut up, Kylo. I'm trying to…
He steps forward again, bringing them back chest to chest.
Rey, I've been losing my mind since you left. But you know that, don't you? You know that and you don't care. Maybe you even like it, having that sort of power over me But now that I have you again I don't think I'm going to let you leave just yet.
His hands grab her wrists again, holding her in place.
She swallows and forces her eyes open, reassuring herself that he's not really there. Hasn't somehow teleported into this room with her.
He hasn't, but then her eyes drift closed on their own. Kylo, or her vision of him at least, is guiding her backward. Leading her to that narrow little ledge she had been laying down on.
And this is so much better than sleeping next to me, Rey? Laying here alone in the dirt?
When the back of her knees hit the ledge she doesn't fight it. Lets him guide her back until she's laying down and he's hovering over her.
I had to, Kylo. You gave me no choice. It was the best thing for the both of us.
He smirks and that cocky look on his face reminds her of Han for a second.
We'll see.
When he kisses her it's like missing piece. The desire that had been flowing through her finally finds it's conduit, short circuiting her brain and leaving behind nothing but pure desire in its place. She moans into his mouth, her back arching and if anyone were to have seen her at this moment it would look like she was erotically grappling with thin air.
Kylo returns her enthusiasm kiss for kiss, moan for moan. When she bites him he bites her harder. When she squirms, he holds her down, pinning her underneath him with his phantom presence.
She pulls her lips away, breathless and dizzy. The heat is pooling between her legs, making her buck against him. He may not really be there with her, but the feeling of his length pressing insistently against her through both their clothing is exactly like she remembers.
How far are we going to-
As far as I want to, Rey. Remember, this means nothing. I'm not even really here.
His hand trails down, finding her breast. Rey moans louder, arching into his touch. She can feel his pleased smirk against the skin of her neck, but he bites down when she starts to form a protest.
This is all too much. Her desire for him has been building for too long. It has to boil over. She had to find some sort of release for this need that has begun to consume her.
Take off your clothes, Kylo. I want to see you.
Rey tugs at his shirt, dimly noting that he's wearing his gloves again. She hadn't even noticed him putting them back on, or perhaps its only in his projected self?
No, Rey. You don't get to decide how this is done.
Kylo pulls her hands off him, drawing them up over her head. He holds her in place by her wrists, his smirk growing when her legs snake around his hips. She grinds herself against his obvious arousal, feeling liquid heat flowing through her and settling between her thighs. She's already so wet and he's barely even touched her.
Such a needy thing, Rey. I think you might be even more deprived than I am.
His voice, dark and luscious, vibrates against her ear and Rey moans again. She lets him hold her arms pinned over her head one-handed, only half fighting with him as he starts to open her tunic from the top. Every inch of skin he exposes tingles in the cool night air.
Deprived? How could you not be-
What do you think I was doing earlier, Rey? Before you came to me and found me washing my hands?
...oh.
His gloved fingers glide over her skin, taking his time exposing her and tracing every curve of her flesh or slightly protruding rib. When her upper body is bared she shivers, the cool of the real cave air fighting with the contradiction of his ghostly self.
Kylo.
He palms her breast and she moans his name mindlessly, her thoughts rapidly devolving to nothing but pure animalisitc lust. The smooth leather of his gloves adding a fascinating new quality to his touch. When he grazes over her firmed nipple, the seam rasping softly against her skin she throws her head from side to side. Her hips grind against him with fervor, and she can't help but wonder if he'd really be able to take her like this? Surely there must be limits to their remote Force connection, even enhanced with the energy of these caves? Could he really fill her and give her what she's starting to ache for?
Such a filthy mind you have, Scavenger.
His hand dips lower, starting to work at the fastening to her pants. Rey squirms, trying both to get away and draw him closer.
Maybe he can? Maybe it's really possible? She wants to find out. Gods help her how she want to find out…
Take these off.
She means his shirt, and she struggles, writhing under his touch to try and get one of her hands free. Kylo clicks his tongue, laying kisses down the center of her body until his breath is washing over her chest.
No, Rey. I think I like this better. I think I like using your body in whatever way pleases me the most, don't you?
When his hand slides between her legs she howls, her cry echoing obscenely off the walls of the cavern The image his words paint is almost enough to send her over the edge. She's already so close, so slick that his fingers slip over her skin with ease, rubbing her and rolling her between them but still holding back.
Touch yourself, Rey. That's an order.
He lets go of her wrists and takes her nipple between his teeth, biting down on it and drawing out another chocked scream from her. She tries to bury both her hands in his hair and he grabs one of her wrists, jerking it down to between her legs. He hikes her butt up with his arm, drawing her knees over his shoulders so she can work her hand on herself in tandem with his own.
"Kriff..."
Rey doesn't know if she moans it out loud or not, but Kylo's lips curl up into a grin. Two hands are better than one and hers, though slimmer and shyer than his, provides the added touch that she needs. Her fingers reach places that the limits of his projection cannot, answering her earlier question.
Kylo lifts his head off her chest to watch her face and Rey meets his gaze through slitted eyes. A nudge of his mind tells her to crooks her fingers inside herself, finding that place that he'd shown her before.
When his thumb finds her little nub and presses down she finally comes apart, her cries of pleasure sharp and wordlessly echoing even as he silences them with his lips.
Rey collapses then, dragging him down to lay on op of her. His weight is heavy and real, and for a few long moments she is perfectly content to kiss him sloppily back, her free hand carding through his hair.
Her other hand, the one she had used on herself, is pulled away from between her legs and he brings it up to her mouth.
I want to taste you again, Rey.
She whines, a thread of embarrassment working its way back through her lust saturated mind. But again she obeys, lightly pressing her slick fingers to her tongue and letting him share the experience vicariously.
Then he pulls away, rolling her onto her side so they're laying face to face. She smiles up at him, feeling sleepy and ever so content to fall asleep in his arms right now.
He strokes her face, the smooth leather of his gloves reminding her that he's both still clothed and still unsatisfied.
At that thought he rises, propping himself up on his elbow so he can look down at her. Rey feels a flutter in her chest, but he pushes her back down when she starts to reach out for him.
Kylo, don't you want to-
I'll take care of it myself, Rey.
His face sets into a neutral expression, his thoughts guarded as he redresses her, pulling her clothes back on for her until she's fully covered again. Then his hand falls to rest on her hip, his thumb rolling in circles against the bone there. She nuzzles in closer, burying her face against his chest and appreciating the warmth, imaginary though it may be.
When it appears that he's not going to speak up on his own, she asks him the question that's starting to burn in the back of her mind.
So what now?
He shakes his head, and Rey can feel him putting his shields up, blocking her from hearing what he's thinking.
Now, Rey? Now, are you ready to come back to me? To stay with me by my side where you belong?
Suddenly she's extremely grateful that he can't see her face. She knows her cheeks are burning, shame roiling within her. She shakes her head, mouthing the word 'no' against the fabric over his chest.
To her surprise, he nods. Then he pulls away, straightening up. Immediately she misses his warmth.
Kylo, we can just… for tonight, we can-
He silences her with another kiss. This time it's short and impersonal. But when he pulls back he's smiling and Rey blinks at him, confused and being pulled in far too many directions at once.
Rey. I'm going to find you. I don't care what it takes or what I have to do.
His voice is warm even if his words aren't.
And when I do, Rey, I'm going to have you again. I'm going to have you in any way that I want, do you understand me?
Rey blinks, having trouble processing what he's saying. How he can suddenly change this much in just a matter of seconds. Then he continues, stroking her face with a soft affection that contrasts completely with the weight of his words.
I think we're done here for tonight, Rey. There's just one thing left for you to do.
His voice is low and cool against her mind as he starts to pull away. Rey grows still in his arms as she waits for him to continue.
Now you will stay the hell out of my head. You've lost your privileges to me.
Before she can argue, before she can shout out his blatant hypocrisy, he disappears, blocking her completely from his side of the bond like she'd done to him only hours before.
At first her heart constricts and her breath won't come easily. All she can do is stare at the space above her where he once was. Then the anger comes back in full force. Rey leaps up, nearly tripping over her own limbs, and snatches the flower right out of the rock it's growing from.
It's cursed. A symbol of this hellish planet and all the mistakes that have happened here. Of everything that's wrong with her life.
And she grinds it tightly in her fist before dropping it into the dirt, stomping to the nearest of the cave pools to wash away all the evidence of what just happened.
Author's Note:
First off:
A big happy birthday to sydkiwi who requested an update! It's a day early (better than a day late!) but the 10th isn't a good posting day for me so hope you like it!
And we've finally reached our first M rated chapter! Alternative title: 'What Else is a Force Bond Good For?'
And again a big thank you to everyone who took the time out to comment on the last chapter: your comments really help keep me focused and show me what you like or don't like about this story. They give me a sense of direction, really. I'm going to start using these author's notes as a way to keep up with the feedback or, I you prefer, you can find me on tumblr at ava-dalo.
Next chapter: (which might be delayed until the 23-24th, hence why this chappie was extra long but maybe, maybe not):
Rey continues her journey both through the mysteries of the caves and the twisted web of her feelings.