Chapter summary:

Where our duo gets a nudge in the right direction.

It felt so different without him.

Rey tried to pretend otherwise. Tried to tell herself she didn't miss him, didn't want him. Didn't need him for anything.

It was all a lie. She did. Gods how she did.

Now that Kylo was nowhere, he was suddenly everywhere. Every shadow, tall dark and foreboding, reminded her of him. Every sound of the cave could have been his footsteps, always walking alongside or behind her own. Every whisper against her flesh could have been his fingers and not simply the movement of air throughout these endless tunnels.

He wasn't here. He was gone. As silent and unreachable to her as she had been to him before.

He'd shut her out. The nerve of him.

Kylo doesn't get to shut her out. He doesn't have the right to. She had always just assumed he would be there for her, ready to pick up the pieces and play by her rules but only if he had been a good boy and deserved the time of day.

Now his side of their bond was a void. A painful, aching gap within her soul. It made her run faster, fleeing through the network of passages to try and escape what she let happen. No, not what she let happen, what she had instigated. She had done that. He hadn't. She'd made an already unbearable situation even worse.

By this point and everything that had happened to lead up to it, Rey is completely exhausted. So much so that she stumbles, bumbling clumsily as she crawls over debris strewn passages or squeezes through narrow gaps in the rock walls. The tunnels here are more difficult to navigate. More of them are collapses or obstructed by rocks. It brings to light the sheer dangers of being down here. That tremor that she had felt before, brief though it was, must not have been the first of it's mind.

And that feeling stays with her. That unmistakable pull. It's becoming stronger now, though perhaps part of that might be because she's so terribly tired. Or because her mind has lost half of itself and now there's nothing but her own thoughts to echo back to her.

When she comes to rest she more falls over than sits down. Kylo not being around her has thrown her off balance. He should be there, pleading with her. They had shared something…

Significant?

Not special. Special is too sentimental of a word. But they had shared something and then he'd thrown her to the curb. When she presses against his side there's nothingness. It's very one-sided. That's why she's such a mess now. All his fault once again.

Rey closes her eyes, shoving the mental image of their bond out of the way. Inner peace greets her, cold silent and empty.

Perfect. She likes it so much better this way.

Then she reaches out, trying to pull the Force into her and project herself. See what's beyond this stretch of cave so she knows what she's about to be facing. A hint about whether this phantom pull on her mind is her friend or foe.

She did it before, with Kylo. They managed to do it together. So of course she can do it alone. She doesn't need him for anything.

Her powers are worn out, growing weaker with her increasing need for sleep. It makes it difficult to concentrate, but all the Kyber in the very walls of this place help. With effort and struggle, she can see a small ways. There are tunnels and tunnels and tunnels. Some small, some bigger, some above and below and that underground river too.

Rey pulls up, trying to see the surface. See if there's any route to escape. Somewhere high, high above her is life. Big, green, angry life. Still going at it, Jungle Kitties? What, are they following her even now, waiting for their meal to pop up out of the ground like a whack-a-mole?

Gods, give it a rest. She's too tired for this shit right now.

Her vision also confirms how very far below the ground she is now. It's quite frightening, actually. To think of all the meters upon meters of solid earth and rock that are between her and the fresh air. The fear of it all collapsing on her, even if she knows that logically it won't and these caves have existed here for untold centuries, is palpable.

She almost reaches out to Kylo. Normally, she would self-soothe herself on their bond. They both do it when they're under duress, though she had only become aware of that recently since they had started to spend so much time together.

Rey mentally slaps her hand, scolding herself. No. He's nothing. Don't think about him. Don't lose focus.

She needs to find out where she's going and what's leading her there. That's what she needs to concentrate on. The surface is too far away. She needs to go forward and find a way somewhere else.

Rey doubles down on her efforts, keeping up her side of their mental barricade is taxing and making her projected sonar much harder than it should be, but when she begins to follow down the tunnel she's currently in all she can feel is the Kyber. It's lacing through these walls, dotting them like stars in the sky. There's a bigger source, more powerful and deeper. She had expected that to be the pull, but it's not. Something else is, the Kyber glows like an ember, intriguing to her attention but not commanding for it. A different attractant is the nearby, and that's what is beckoning to her. But what is it?

Oh it's so frustrating. She almost can. Almost can see it. Almost… but not quite.

Defeated, Rey's concentration breaks. She opens her eyes and glares down the dim cave, frowning at the glowing rocks and the patterns of blue light they're casting against the stalactites.

Well then… that was unhelpful. And Kylo's still shutting her out. What a karker. Not that she's checking up on him or anything, though.

Rey wipes her brow, feeling the dust on her hands mix in with the light sheen of sweat that her efforts had produced, and reluctantly continues on her way.

Someone had been down here before.

It's impossible to say when, probably a long, long time ago, but there are markings on these walls. Words in a script she doesn't recognize but she thinks she may have seen somewhere and sometime before.

Kylo might know what they are. If she were to show them to him, perhaps he would know what to do. His entitled, princely education growing up surely was more robust than her close to non-existent school experience.

But she's been keeping up her walls. Shutting him out while he's shutting her out. Two sides of the same coin, both giving each other the cold shoulder. If she were to reach out to him, it would be almost like an admission that she needs him. Which she doesn't. She's a smart girl, she can figure this out on her own.

It's dark here in this section of the passage, but when she lights her saber to shine some more light the markings start to glow. They're green. Everything on this planet is so green, even down here so far below the surface.

Should she touch them? Last time she touched anything like this was the Kitty bone and that had ended poorly for her.

The message, whatever it says, is long and stretched out across a good portion of the cavern wall. Whoever wrote it must have had plenty of time on their hands.

How bizarre. She should ask Kylo.

Carefully she drops her mental defenses. Enough for her to reach through to the other side, but not enough for him to buffet her with his unwelcome presence when he senses this weakness in her.

Then she extends her presence, performing the mental equivalent of knocking on the door to his psyche.

No answer. His wall is an impenetrable barrier. She might as well be knocking on air.

Rey huffs. Fine then, the kriffing sod has to be difficult doesn't he?

She clears her mind, sending an impulse at him. Kylo, there's something you should see.

Silence. Endless silence. Is he even listening to her?!

Oh he'd better be. But, if he's not, he's about to get a rude awakening.

Rey changes her efforts. Gives up on politely summoning him and instead wraps her consciousness around their bond.

Immediately she feels soothed. Calmer, even. Making contact with their unique connection feels right. The headache that had been plaguing her ever since their mutual ostracizing finally easing up.

Well that's just kriffing intolerable, isn't it?

Rey uses the annoyance she feels to sharpen her control. She grabs that bond, that unwanted thing, and gives it a good, solid yank. Knock knock, Kylo, answer me when I call for you.

A feeling ripples over her from his side. Oh, she got his attention. How lovely.

Kylo, I found some-

The door slams shut again, this time with a push of the Force that shoves her back into her mind. Their bond lies slack, his end of it disappearing back into nothingness,

"Oh screw you, Kylo! " she shouts, "I was trying to be nice!"

Her voice bouncing off the rock walls and scaring a curious Green Streaker. She kicks at the ground, wishing it was him instead of a clot of dirt.

Immediately her walls snap up again. Fine. Fine. If that's how Kylo wants to play it, then that's how what he's going to get. See how long he can hold out on her.

Good riddance, Kylo. I never needed you anyhow.

Rey looks at the glowing symbols one more time. She has the feeling they might be very important.

Oh kriff it. Whatever.

Rey is on the verge of collapse but she can't stop. Won't stop. The feeling in her head, the pull, is steadily increasing. Dragging on her mind and making her put one leaden foot in front of the other. All in the name of finding it, whatever it is.

Maybe she is getting closer to something. The caves are in terrible condition here, the signs of erosion and collapse much more apparent. Water was even leaking from the walls, causing the journey to not only be claustrophobically miserable but also frigid and damp.

And still no Kylo.

The effort to keep going without him is growing harder over time. She only keeps her barricade up half-heartedly, giving him a chance to work his way through the gaps if he should want to.

He doesn't.

That stings more than it should. Rey is getting exactly what she wanted, so why does she feel so empty?

She hasn't cried yet, but she can feel the urge to. To be so lost and so alone.

Or perhaps not alone enough. Sometimes, out of the corners of her weary eyes, she thinks she can see something. A wisp of a shape. Not a creature, though. Something else. Someone. The pull increases every time she sees it.

Is this one of the later stages of sleep deprivation? When your minds starts to play tricks on you and make you see things that aren't really there?

But then there is this piece of Kyber. Rey had found it laying on the ground in an area that was oddly clear of any rocks or pebbles, almost as if they had been deliberately pushed aside so she could find this.

The stone had been small, only about the size of Rey's fingernail, but it had glowed when she'd picked it up. Scoring marks were etched into the surface.

None of this made any sense. She doubted it would start to until she's slept and the fog in her brain clears back to cognizance.

After a debate, she picks up the Kyber. It's of no real use, too small for a lightsaber and she can't think of anything else to do with it, but taking it had felt right.

And if this proves to be a mistake and brings down the wrath of some new jungle beastie than so be it.

Someone is watching her when she stands up.

Rey freeze mid-rise, staring at the glowing shape but refusing to blink in case it disappears. It, whatever it is, radiates with the Force. A green silhouette in the size and outline of a human.

And then it's gone. She hadn't blinked. The light of the Kyber in her hand fades back down to nearly black.

This is wrong. Something is very wrong. Maybe she's finally losing her mind, but she doesn't want to be alone for this. Something just happened, and she hasn't a clue what it is or what to do about it.

Kylo.

Her mental walls melt when she reaches for him. All her resistances cast aside as she pulls, imploring him to stop being so stubborn and to come to her now.

He doesn't. He's still gone, still fighting her.

Rey pulls harder, tugging on their connection. She doesn't give it the same vicious yank like she did before, but this time she holds on it, pulling it tight around her.

It's slim comfort. She feels to exposed here, but the only way out is forward. Forward where she had seen that… thing.

It's either that or turn back, but, as soon as she starts to retrace her steps, the pull comes back, pushing at her tenfold. It feels like invisible hands are tugging on her, now nearly dragging her off her feet in an effort to make her keep going.

She activates her saber, turning around in a quick circle. No one. No Kylo and no hallucination. Just her, all alone.

Rey takes a step forward, all of her instincts on edge. The Kyber in the walls glitters with the light from her blade. She takes another step, her feet crossing over each other in a low defensive stance. If someone were to see her, she would look like a crazy person.

There's nothing here. Nothing.

Is she hallucinating? It can't have been real. This has gone from bad to even worse. She can't even trust her own eyes now.

Rey takes a third step, and then the ground begins to shake.

Now this is real! She feels it rattling up through her very bones. This is no minor tremor, either. It starts of as a low rumble, the walls and ceiling vibrating slightly when she casts her lightsaber up to look at them. Then it grows exponentially, every side of the cave flexing and rattling. Pieces of debris starts to rain down on her and Rey bolts, breaking out into a full run.

That feeling, that pull in her, propels her faster, like a wind in her sail. Even as tired as she is, she sudden;y doesn't feel weak anymore. The rush of adrenaline when a piece of the ceiling, no small chunk of rock but a huge portion, crashes down in front of her. She's nearly trapped but she leaps over it, using the Force to lift her up out of the way as the left wall cracks and collapses.

Kylo!

She screams his name, dashing forward almost blindly into the dark corridor but still trying to warn him if he's somewhere behind her, and this time she feels a thump back. And then something green flashes across in front of her, breaking their brief connection.

Rey trips, falling face-first into nothing.

No, she doesn't trip, she's pushed. Phantom hands slam against her back, knocking her off her feet. The ground of the passage has cracked open, leaving a giant fissure that she plummets head over heels into.

Rey screams, pushing blindly out with the Force, trying to cushion what could easily be a fatal impact.

Water, not rock, hits her face.

The river. It must be. She must have been in a passage directly above it.

She falls a good ways through the air, and darkness and the ice cold currents hit her hard enough to snatch all the air out of her lungs. This is much worse than when they had jumped in the river together to escape the cats. There at least she knew which was was up. Now it's so dark Rey can't even tell if her eyes are open.

The waters lash at her, dragging her under again and again and again. They fill her mouth, seeping into her nose, the cold of them so sharp she would cry out of that wasn't a guaranteed death. Every time she breaks the surface, cold air stinging against her wet skin, she gets pulled under before she can take a full breath.

Again and again. Dragged by the currents, slammed against rocks. She is thrown about, a weightless, rootless rag doll. Is this it, then?

Death by drowning. Could there be a more fitting end for a selfish desert girl?

Rey loses it then. Whatever sense of control she had is gone. She panics, clawing at anything and everything as the rocks are ripped out from under her hands and she's set loose again. Her lungs take on more water, burning, aching, filing. She starts trashing wildly, slamming her limbs from side to side as the pure, raw need to survive obliterates every rational thought.

Suddenly an image flashes into her mind. For a second she can see where she is, even if she's currently underwater. There's an edge, a pillar of rock. She can almost reach it. Almost-

Open your eyes!

There's a voice in her head. She doesn't recognize it, but she's compelled to obey. Energy raw and powerful surges through her, pushing her upward.

She breaks the surface.

There it is. A glowing rock. There for an instant and then it's gone, the currents dragging her under again. She's getting weaker now. Too much water. Too much-

She sees green light. A flash bursting in front of her closed eyes. Then her hand touches hardness. Rocks.

Rey slips. Her arms move on their own. She fights. Something stings, bruising her. She can't think. Just wants to breathe.

She touches something.

The river bank. She touches the river bank. It's not solid, but it's real. It's life.

Her hands close around the muddy edge, her nails sinking and clawing into the embankment. One last push, more the Force than her own physical strength, and she pulls herself up. Up over and out.

Rey collapses face first into the putrid river mud. Instinct demands that she press on her diaphragm. Press it hard. Start hacking. Start couching up water. It pours out of her mouth and her nose, burning and miserable, until she can finally breathe again.

Then Rey rolls onto her back, feeling beyond anything else. Beyond tired. Beyond hurt. Beyond… no, not beyond caring. Not yet.

There's a small alcove or bay recessed into the rock wall that she can crawl to. That's about the limits of her abilities at the moment. Beyond it is yet another cavern, but she can't face that right now.

Everything hurts. She needs to sleep. Tomorrow… tomorrow she can think about what happened. About that energy she saw and how it both tried to help her and hurt her.

Somehow almost dying, again, has become the least of her problems.

When she gets there, Rey curls up against herself, tucking her knees in as she hunkers down in the tiny alcove. She'd tried to eat earlier, but the cold and by now rather congealed piece of mushroom that was the only thing she'd had left hadn't gone down without a fight. Now her stomach rumbles hungrily, her head hurts, and she feels like she's about to burst into tears at any moment.

Rey doesn't want this anymore. She had been desperate to be alone before, but now she's cold and wet and just plain scared.

How much longer can this go on? Not only these caves, they could easily span the entire planet's subsurface and Rey is beginning to wonder if they're going to do exactly that. But how long can she go on?

Her will to fight is weakening. It feels wrong to be doing this. He should be here with her. They should be facing whatever is about to happen together.

The first tear that streaks across her cheeks is warm and shameful. She's stronger than this. Stronger than the fear in her head and the ache in her heart.

Rey swipes at it, feeling the grime on her skin shift around. She should clean herself up, but going anywhere near that river seems so abhorrent right now. Not only had it almost killed her, but that was also where she'd last seen Kylo. He'd been using it to ice down his hand, but that had been hours and hours ago. Now gods knows where he is. She couldn't find her way back to him now. She wants to, but she can't. He's gone. They're lost and separated.

Rey finally gives in to the urge to cry. She needs to vent. Needs to let these feelings have an outlet or they'll destroy her.

She doesn't want to die down here. She doesn't want to be alone anymore. She just wants… wants…

Rey wants to be whole again.

She sobs into her knees, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. How many times has she been exactly like this before? So utterly alone and crying her eyes out because of the hurt of it all?

Kylo.

She whispers his name weakly.

No answer.

Rey closes her eyes and lets darkness embrace her.

This time, Rey knows that she's dreaming.

She knows this because she's warm and happy. Somewhere safe. It's a lie. It's all a lie.

But it's a pretty one, so she basks in it. Lets her troubled mind conjure up the images that she wants to see. She's laying on Kylo's cloak, not the hard and unyielding ground. His cowl is over her, wrapping her up tight.

She's being swaddled, but it's okay. She likes it, actually. It makes her feel so protected.

A fire is crackling near her. It smells like the moss they had been burning in the past. The heat of it soaks through her skin, warming her down to her bones.

"Rey."

Kylo's voice is weary. She shakes her head, not wanting to open her eyes and ruin the spell.

His hand, his bare hand, touches her face. He strokes her cheek, wiping away the tears she hadn't realized were still falling. Then his touch ghosts up, his fingertips lightly skimming her temple.

She feels him in her mind. He's searching through her memories, but doing it so gently. She could shove him out at any time, but she doesn't. Even if this is all a dream, it feels right to be so open with him.

"There… there is someone with you."

Rey opens her eyes then. Her dreams flickers, starting to fade at the edges.

Kylo kneels next to her, his eyes boring into her own. She wants to tell him about that apparition. About how it pushed her down her, nearly killing her but also perhaps saving her life.

The words don't come, though. Instead, she simply stares at him, transfixed by the hypnotizing sensation of his presence fluttering around her head and pulling at her most recent memories.

He begins to fade too soon, her dream coming to an end already.

"Look around, Scavenger."

Where he was is now but a shadow. She's alone, next to the river. No fire, no comfort. No Kylo.

The last thing she hears is his voice whispering low in her mind.

I know where you are, Rey. I know and I'm coming for you.

And then he's gone, and she's all alone again.

Author's Note:

Managed to get this done for this week, sticking to my schedule. I've got a ton of things going on in my personal life right now (all good stuff, but very time consuming), but I think this chapter sets the ground for the next 4 right. We're now well into Act II, with the third act happening probably around chapter 16 or maybe 17. So we're getting there, folks!

I've gotten so many lovely and supportive comments recently. A huge thanks to everyone who's hanging in with me for the long run as well as all the newcomers too, both your comments keep me going whenever my motivation starts to slide and I couldn't do this without you! 333

It's been driving me crazy that I can't properly respond, so some replies to those who took the time to comment on ch11:

sydkiwi - Happy birthday! Glad you liked your present! The part of the cave Rey's in now is interconnected with where Kylo is. All these caves form a huge network together, though the underground river is a common theme connecting them and forming a sort of highway.

Nightreader10 - Kylo can be nice to Rey, he just chooses not to be all the time ;) They're also both stubborn AF and have a lot of personal growth they need to do before their relationship can reach an equilibrium.

the fan of fairys - Haha, the cliffhangers aren't going to stop yet though! Def. More to come!

Pobrediabla - Oh Kylo secretly loves chasing after Rey. Rey may also be a little into it, too :P And he's going to use his (temporary?) upper hand to his advantage in the next few chapters. Can't miss out on an opportunity like that, right?

DeepSeaGirl678 - Well I hope you liked ch12 too, lots of action there also! I TRY to update once a week and so far I've only skipped one week when I was in Asia so hopefully this is my regular schedule of posting sometime between Friday and Sunday :)

kfulmer7 - OMG you commented on every chapter! I only have a few readers that do that and it's so inspiring for writers because sometimes people stop commenting after athe first few chapters and we don't know if they're reading or liking it anymore. So thank you for that and I'm so glad you liked the story so far! 333

Next chapter:

Well, we have an E rated fic set on a jungle. With two people reluctant to boff. And it's set on a jungle. Hmmm… whatever could that mean?