Even thinking that this baby could be Harry's & not my boyfriend's Gary, it just made me sick to my stomach. How was i ever going to tell Gary about my sexual encounter with my previous boss which i so dearly loved?
Loved... as in, the past.
Honestly, thinking the about the baby being Harry's, had made me think a lot about him lately. What would he say if he finds out? Would he hate me even more? Would he be okay with it? That last part wasn't going to be the case, i just felt it.
After all, he said he never wanted to have kids but his wife convinced him to have their daughter, Jesse.
I had to be alone, i was sick and tired of Caitlin and Cisco babysitting me, and so i decided to spend the night at my new appartment.
This was the place i was going to raise my baby. Sorry, metahuman baby. Who knows what kind of superpowers my child has.
I did not want any of my children to live a similar life, but this baby never gets the chance of a normal life, they will be born with superpowers right away.
There was a knock on the door.
"Come in!" i called. It was Jesse, Harry's daughter. I was surprised to see her, i only met her at least once. I wondered what she was doing here and how she got my address.
"Hi, it's me, Jesse." she said as she walked in.
I stood up from the couch. "Yes, ofcourse, i know you, please, come in."
I wondered what she was doing here. "I got word... about a baby coming." Jesse said. Why did she even care? "Yes..." i said.
"I also overheard Caitlin telling Cisco that you thought it may be my fathers?"
I frowned. Way to go Caitlin. "I didn't know you and my dad were..."
"We aren't." i said. "It was my stupid fault and now i have to pay for my sins by carrying a metahuman child." i said.
Jesse frowned. "The baby is a metahuman?" she wondered. "Yes, and who knows what will happen to me, i blacked out 3 times this week." i said.
"You don't look... pregnant." Jesse said.
"They say you don't really show that much with metahuman babies, also, no pregnancy symptoms." i said. "I didn't want to believe i was pregnant until i first saw the baby on screen at an ultrasound appointment." i said.
"Does... dad know?" Jesse wonders.
I turned around, i couldn't face her as i was about to tell her this. "Jesse, dear..." i started.
"Your dad and i we just have a very rough... past." i rubbed my hands together, obviously nervous about his daughter being here.
"If he finds out i'm carrying his child, who knows what will happen? It'll probably make things worse between us."
Jesse shook her head. "He doesn't say much, but i do think he cares for you, Amber." Jesse said.
"That's impossible." i said. "He clearly shows to me that he hates my guts, and now i'm about to give life to his child."
It's crazy putting it that way, and it only makes me more scared.
"All i want to say is that... i've always loved a baby sibling..." Jesse said with a smile. "My mom couldn't give me one, she died when i was young, and i don't think my dad wanted another child any time soon at that point." Jesse came closer to me.
"But i do think that... this is a sign from my mom, that i finally get my long awaited for sibling, and that you are the one woman for my dad."
I frowned. "I have a boyfriend, Jesse." i said.
"Do you really love him?" she looked at me, and it made me uncomfortable. Even i questioned that and it made me feel confused. Ofcourse i loved Gary, what was even wrong with me?
"Jesse i can't..." i said.
"See? you love him." Jesse said. "You need to tell him how much you love him."
"I tried! okay?" i said, close to breaking down in tears. "I tried to show him that i loved him and you know what he said? He called it a mistake, he called our love making a mistake, he calls this baby a mistake."
Jesse looked concerned. "I... " i wanted to say it but i just... couldn't.
"What? say it!" Jesse said.
"I..." I gasped for air, as i felt another panic attack coming up. "I love your father..." i bit my lower lip. Why did i just confess my feelings to his daughter?
It wasn't fair to Gary, i would break his heart twice. Once by telling him the baby is not his, and twice that i'm in love with the baby's father.
"That's all i needed to hear..." Jesse said. "But just to be clear, you have to tell him about the baby."
She was right, but i just couldn't get myself to go see him & tell him right in front of his face that he was about to become a daddy 2.0, i expect him to punch me in the face as i say so.
"I can't." i said, and turned around again. "I heard he's... dating someone?" i wondered.
Jesse looked up. "He didn't tell you?" she wondered. I shook my head. I couldn't tell him he was having a baby with someone while he was dating someone else, right?
That would ruin his relationship.
"I just don't like that woman." Jesse said. "She's too... nice and clingy."
"As long as your dad is happy, and i don't want to ruin his happiness."
"I'm afraid they will get serious pretty soon, and then it'll only get harder for you to tell him the truth." Jesse said.
After Jesse left, i thought about what we talked about. She was right, if i didn't tell him, someone else was going to, and hearing you're becoming a parent from someone else, that must be very painful.
I needed to come up with a plan.
I was scared of his reaction...
What if he would hate me even more? The fact that i'm almost 5 months pregnant and he still doesn't know the baby is his, that's awful.
After all, he didn't want a child with me, he didn't even want to have sex with me in the first place. I felt like such a bad person.
"Hey dr Wells!" Jay stepped in the office. Harry looked up, and greeted the young man. "What's up?" he wondered. "What are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to congratulate you." Jay said.
Harry frowned. "On...? my new relationship? thank you." Harry said with a short smile. The man never smiled.
"No?" Jay frowned. "I didn't know you were seeing someone, that's awesome dude."
Jay sat down right next to Harry, and faced him. "I was talking about you becoming a father."
Harry frowned. "What the hell are you talking about Jay?" Harry shook his head and tried to focus on his work again.
"You're becoming a dad, right? Jesse told me." Harry frowned once again. "How does Jesse play part in all of this?" he wondered.
"She told me Amber was pregnant with your child."
Harry dropped all his stuff. "You are playing with me, i think it's best for you to leave before i lose all my focus."
Jay looked confused. "You don't know?" he wondered. "You don't know you're becoming a dad?"
"What's this we're talking about?" Caitlin said, as she entered the room.
"This guy here is trying to convince me i'm becoming a dad, he's just messing around and i'd highly suggest for him to leave before i'll explode on him."
Caitlin froze. "Wait... how do you know, Jay?"
"Jesse told me." Jay said. "She didn't know what to do, she knew Amber was stuck and was scared to tell Harry right here, that he was becoming a dad, because he's dating someone."
Caitlin crossed her arms. "Just tell me this isn't true and leave me the hell alone." Harry said, as he looked up at the woman.
"Umm..." Caitlin began. "If you think about it..." she started. "She's over 18 weeks pregnant, she doesn't even know Gary that long..." Caitlin said. "And even her relationship with Lenny was too short for her to be this far along."
Harry froze. He just froze. Was it true? Was he really going to be a father again?