As promised, another chapter before the holiday. Unfortunately, this will probably be the last chapter for the week, but know that I will try my hardest to get the next one out just as quickly as the others before it. Enjoy. :)

Sara shot up in bed with wide eyes, her tank top drenched in sweat. She pushed back her hair with shaky hands and sucked in a deep breath. Too many images came to mind whenever she closed her eyes and every bad dream took its grueling toll on her in their own twisted ways.

She attempted to regulate her erratic breathing. She also tried to compose herself before she got to her feet, but the images still flashed before her as through it was that night all over again. They played like a movie as she headed out to the kitchen and poured a glass of water. She wondered when visions of her past would stop melting into visions of the present so she could sleep for once.

She truthfully hadn't slept much since nineteen seventy-four, but only one person other than her knew that and that person lived in San Francisco. She didn't want to talk about it then, or even now, but that one person had a certain hold over her. That one person knew how to convince her to talk and that one person once used to be her partner.

That didn't matter to her at that moment, though. The only thing she could think about was the growing need to bury her feelings and repressed memories, but she couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't pretend the night they found Catherine wasn't hell for her. She couldn't pretend it didn't remind her of her childhood when she wasn't sure she'd make it through the night. She couldn't pretend she hadn't felt something other than fear as she searched high and low for the redhead.

She slowly tipped back her water and chugged it as though she hadn't drank in days and clutched the hem of her tank top as a way to gain control over herself. It didn't seem to work as she made her way to the air conditioning control panel and cranked it to sixty degrees. She tugged on her tank top as she walked away from the panel and used the backside of her free hand to wipe the sweat from her forehead.

Her phone buzzed and caused her to jump out of her skin.

She took a deep breath and relaxed as much as she possibly could. She grabbed her cell off the kitchen counter and looked at the digital read out. She sighed and answered it.

"Sidle."

"Miss Sidle," a man on the line started. "I'd like to reschedule you for another psych evaluation if you've got the time."

She rolled her eyes.

"No, thanks."

"I know you understand the repercussions if you don't pass, Miss Sidle, so why don't you make another appointment with me?"

"I don't think so."

"I've already spoken to your supervisor-"

"I don't care. I don't have to go back to work."

"But you want to."

She didn't respond.

"Sara, let's be realistic," he started. "You want to be back at the lab whether you'll admit it to me or not. The only way you can do that is if you discuss that night with me. What's so hard about that when you should know I'm not here to judge anyone?"

"If that's what you think this is about, you're one of the worst shrinks I've encountered in my lifetime."

"I'm familiar with your file."

She squeezed her eyes shut at that comment and, with a tight jaw, slightly opened her mouth but said nothing.

"Come in to see me. Are you available today?"

"No. I'm out of town," she lied.

"When can you see me?"

"I'll have to get back to you on that," she said as she pulled the phone away from her ear.

"Don't make this-"

She hung up.

The last thing she wanted to do was talk about her feelings. She figured if she couldn't pass the test the first time, it wasn't worth taking a second time.

Truth be told, that's how she felt throughout school, which is why she always pushed herself harder than she should've to ensure she got it right. She couldn't stand to fail at anything and yet, all her years of hard work went down the drain within a couple of weeks. Granted, she started falling apart before Catherine was abducted, but she hadn't really processed things until she had been abducted.

She shook her head, ran her hand through her hair and checked the time on her phone. It read six-thirty AM. She'd been asleep two hours at best and knew she wouldn't be able to sleep again until later that evening.

She sucked in a deep breath, raised her fist, and pounded it against the counter top. She felt her hand go numb for a few seconds before the stinging pain set in, though she didn't outwardly acknowledge it. She only unclenched her fist and walked back into her bedroom.

She selected an outfit for the day and pulled out clean running clothes. She placed her outfit on her bed and threw on her running clothes. She tightly tied the laces on her sneakers and pulled her hair into a messy ponytail. She stuffed her apartment keys in the right pocket of her mesh shorts and took nothing else.

The sound of keys turning in the front door lock caused me to look up from the pot of boiling water and stare at the front hallway. The door opened and Lindsey walked in. I lightly smiled as I saw her long, flowing ponytail sashay as she turned to close the door and felt a small portion of happiness surge through my aching body.

"Mom, are you ready," she called to me as she headed toward the stairs.

"Yeah," I answered as I turned off the stove and headed toward the hall.

"Oh," she whipped her hair around and looked at me as I made myself visible in the kitchen archway. "Great."

The smile on her face brightened mine and helped more happiness fill me as an attempt to heal my fractured soul.

"I'm so glad I don't have class today," she said.

"Me too," I honestly replied.

She smiled again.

"I'm glad to hear it. Sounds like you're ready to open yourself up to the rest of the world."

"Wow. What happened to you? I sent you off to college only a year ago and now you're the one that knows best?"

"I got smart. Nice to know your hard earned money is going toward something productive, isn't it," she stated as she widened her smile.

"Yeah, but we both know that money is Sam's hard earned money."

"Doesn't matter to me. You're still working. Just because he made us a few zeros richer didn't change us, right?"

"Right," I tried to sound convincing.

"Besides, we're related to him. Your dad, my grandpa. We didn't ask for it. He gave it to us. That's not something we should feel guilty about, right?"

"I agree," I nodded after a beat, a beat spent recalling the memory of him getting shot right in front of me.

"Okay, enough small talk," she shook her head.

I stared at her with wide eyes, an expression that questioned her intent behind her words.

"Not that I don't enjoy small talk with you, but we really should get going. It's time to shop," she said with another perky smile.

I shook my head with a smile, grabbed my purse off the table in the hallway, and followed her out the door. Within twenty minutes we were at the outlet mall in search for several things.

"We're not leaving here until you find four new outfits," Lindsey started. "As for me, I'm gonna get a new pair of shoes, one new outfit, and the perfect purse that goes with every occasion."

I rolled my eyes with a sincere smile that served as a gateway for a tiny laugh.

"I guess you've got things all figured out, don't you," I said.

"Maybe a little," she joked. "Okay, which store do you want to check out first?"

"Any store. You lead the way, fashionista," I smiled again.

Thank God for Lindsey. Without her, I was sure I wouldn't have been out shopping, but rather sitting at home with my face buried in a tub of ice cream.

"I'm so glad you said that," she beamed. "I know the perfect place for you."

Two hours and forty minutes later, I had two outfits and a mani pedi. I felt fresh, ready to start life over again as though Peter Landau never even existed.

"So...what do you think? One more store?"

"If I go to another store, I know for a fact my feet will fall off," I tiredly confessed.

"All right. Call it quits?"

"Yes, but I could go for some food right about now."

"Great minds think alike."

As I watched my daughter all day, I felt much better and even managed to forget about the hideous scars that marked my body. If there was ever a day to be so thankful, it would be today.

We grabbed a bite to eat on our way home and shared a few new stories about our lives since the last time we had a normal conversation. We even reminisced about her childhood as we walked through the front door. Of course, when it came time to let go, we both had a problem with saying goodbye.

"You know, I could stay for dinner. Lou told me he brought you a steak," Lindsey piped up.

"When did you talk to Lou," I asked out of shock.

"On my way over here. He called and asked if I was coming to see you today and told me about dinner. He also didn't want to tell me why he couldn't make it for you himself and refused to put you in the middle of it. I swear, mom, you're heading for ex-husband number two before you even get remarried."

"It's complicated, Linds."

"I'm not judging you, but I am warning you."

I stared down at my feet and attempted to hold back a couple tears.

"I'm tired of seeing you throw away good relationships. That's all," she continued.

"Lindsey, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about my relationships. Worry about you," I firmly said. "I might not be sure of a lot of things right now, but that's one thing I can promise you I'm sure of no matter what's going on in our lives."

She nodded.

"I know, but you're really starting to scare me. You don't want to talk to anyone, you don't want to see anyone, and don't think I haven't heard about you denying that anything could possibly be wrong with you. You were abducted by the state's most wanted serial killer and live to relive the trauma every day."

"Thanks. That really cheered me up," I sarcastically said.

"It's not supposed to cheer you up. I know you still see me as your little girl, but I've grown up and not over night. It's been a long time coming and I can see you're hurt. Talk about it. Whatever it is that's turning you into the Ice Queen, talk about it!"

"You really have grown up, haven't you?"

"And I have you to blame," she smiled as she placed a hand on my shoulder.

I smiled back, though half of my heart wasn't in it, and my hand briefly rested on top of hers.

"I want you to stay," I started. "But you should go."

"If you're worried about my test tomorrow, I studied before I got here. Not to mention, I've been studying since the instructor gave us the material. Plus, I'll still have plenty of time to study after dinner."

"You're intentionally making this decision harder for me, aren't you?"

"It runs in the family," she shrugged with a half smirk.

"Fine. Stay for dinner, but you have to promise me you'll ace the test," I pointed a warning finger at her.

"I promise," she said as her hand slipped off my shoulder.

"Good. We'll skip the steak."

"What?"

"I know you've grown up, but I also know you still need some work when it comes to the grill."

She rolled her eyes with a smile.

"Fine. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and then we can make something else for dinner," she said as she headed toward the guest bath.

I smiled to myself and stared blankly ahead as she walked away.

Suddenly, my phone buzzed in my pocket and I checked the caller ID.

"Hello," I answered as I turned my back on the guest bathroom.

"Hey," he gruffly said. "I wanted to call to make sure my manhood is truly still in tact."

"What are you talking about, McQuaid?"

"The other day," he started, his voice conjuring images of a muscled man in the wilderness, a bit of a turn on for me. "When I told you about my fiancee, I must have sounded weak."

"What? No, if you'd have reacted any differently I would worry, but it's normal to feel like that."

"So you don't think any less of me?"

"Of course not."

"Good. How's your friend?"

"My friend?"

"Yeah, the tall brunette that came over drunk. What was her name again?"

"Sara," I answered, though I wasn't talking to him when I said it. It was almost a mechanical response as I slipped into an odd trance from the thought of her.

"Yeah, that's it. How's Sara?"

"Huh? Oh, she's fine. She crashed on the couch and left the minute she woke up."

"Okay. I felt bad about leaving like that, but I felt worse for staying."

"Don't worry about it. I understand," I casually said.

"Well, uh, I should get to the point. I really called you because I wanted to know if you have any dinner plans."

"Actually," I started as guilt set in about my daughter being in the other room. "I do."

"Oh. Okay. I guess we'll have to get together another night then."

"Sounds good."

"Oh, and Catherine?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you said the night we spent together was a one time thing, but...I'd really like to get to know you. I'm confident you'll like what you see when you actually see me with my clothes on."

I heard the bathroom door open and panicked.

"Sure. I've got to go, though. We'll talk later, okay? Bye."

I hung up without a second thought and turned to see Lindsey approach me.

"Who was that?"

"Uh, Sara," I quickly created a lie. "She wanted to apologize for not calling me back."

"Oh. Well, I know you don't want me messing with the grill so I thought I'd surprise you for dinner."

"What do you mean surprise," I panicked a little more.

"You'll see," she grinned.

I furrowed my brow. I didn't know what she was up to, but I feared her surprise would possibly cause me a heart attack.

Running helped Sara clear her mind as well as put her back in shape, but it didn't do much good that day. Though her run had been physically productive, she still couldn't get the images out of her head. It didn't matter that she passed a dozen trees, a young couple kissing on a bench, cute kids playing in the grass, and a woman around Catherine's age jogging with her dog. Past and present were hot on her heels and she knew she couldn't outrun them.

She jogged into her apartment and peeled off her shirt before she turned to shut the door. One of her hallway neighbors walked out in time to watch her strip down to her bra and the moment the two locked eyes, she stood up straight.

"Hi," she awkwardly greeted.

"Hey," her male neighbor lightly chuckled as he took a moment to look her over.

"Sorry, I should've waited until I closed the door," she nervously laughed.

"No, no. Who doesn't want to see their neighbor half naked before they head off to work," he rhetorically asked with a country boy smile.

She let out another nervous laugh.

"I'm glad I could make your morning brighter," she strangely started to flirt.

"Brighter? Try illuminated. I thought I was going to have the worst day today, but then you did a little strip tease for me. I couldn't be happier right now," he grinned.

"Please tell me you don't mean physically happy," she closed her eyes and twisted her face into a partially disgusted expression.

He laughed.

"Strictly emotional," he continued to smile. "You know...I had my thoughts about what 12B would look like. I didn't imagine you."

"Should I take that as a compliment?"

"Yes," he chuckled. "Most of the words that come out of my mouth are."

"Good to know."

"Well," he started. "Asking this question is probably going to make me late for work and you'll probably slam the door on me, but what is 12B's name?"

He slowly approached the door, one foot in front of the other, with a steady swagger.

She looked over his shoulder.

"I think a much more interesting question is what 11B's name is."

She couldn't comprehend why she wanted to keep flirting with him let alone why she was even flirting with him in the first place, but she felt good doing it and she wasn't about to stop feeling good.

"All right," he lightly chuckled again as he took a split second to look down before meeting her eyes again.

He stood inches away from her, one hand in his pocket, the other made its way to the door frame beside her.

"You got me," he continued. "I'm Alex."

"I don't get a last name?"

"I don't get a first name?"

She exaggeratedly rolled her eyes.

"Sara."

His smile widened as a door down the hall opened. Both looked in the direction of the noise and saw another one of their neighbors leaving. The neighbor peered in their direction and furrowed their brow as they stared at the compromising position the two were in.

Sara shifted and Alex took a small step back to give her the space she needed to readjust herself.

She cleared her throat and briefly avoided eye contact with him. When she looked up at him, he grinned as though he wasn't ashamed.

"I think I should let you go to work," Sara finally piped up.

"I can afford to be a few minutes late. You?"

"A few minutes leads to twenty minutes, which leads to an hour, which leads to no good. We should get back to our daily routines."

"Whatever you say," he said as he pushed off the door frame and took a couple steps back. "But you should know that after meeting you, 12B, I don't want to go back to my daily routine if it doesn't include you."

He winked before he swiftly turned on his heels and walked away.

Sara was speechless. Her mouth was open wide enough to catch fish in and she didn't move. She couldn't. Another thing she couldn't do was admit she had a problem.

Reality kicked in and she closed her mouth as she looked down at her sweaty shirt in her hand. She frowned and turned back into her apartment. She closed the door and locked it before she headed toward her bedroom.

Her phone vibrated against the kitchen table and dragged her away from the path to her room.

She picked up her cell and saw she had five new text messages along with a voice mail and two missed calls.

She cocked her head and furrowed her brow as she looked at the phone. She then peered up at her microwave and noticed she'd only been gone for about an hour, but she immediately returned her attention to her cell and read through her text messages.

Two were from Gil Grissom, her lucky husband, and the other three were from Greg. Grissom only wanted her to know his progress toward receiving a second research grant, but Greg had too much to say.

"Hey, I don't know if you'd be interested, but I need a date for a meeting with my publisher tonight," Greg's first message read. "You don't have to say yes, but it would mean a lot to me."

His second message said, "You just have to show up, but let me know ahead of time if you'll go. I'm telling you! My agent thinks bringing a date will help sell the book. She also thinks the book is good enough to sell itself, but a little push wouldn't hurt."

His third message gave her a location, time, and dress code to follow.

She figured he wanted a response as soon as possible so she composed a new message addressed to him.

"I'll go with you. Don't worry about the publisher. You'll sell the book soon enough and when the time is right, it'll be on the best seller's list because it was meant to be."

She then checked her missed calls. One from Vartann and the other from Lindsey, neither of which she expected to call.

She played her voice mail to make sure she wasn't needed for something dire, especially if Lindsey had been the one to leave the message.

"Hey," the voice mail started. "It's Lindsey. I'm supposed to be going to see my mom tomorrow and I have a feeling I'm going to need reinforcements. Can you call me when you get the chance? Thanks."

She instantly deleted the message and searched through her contacts for Lindsey's name. Once she found it, she called back and waited for the blonde to answer. Four rings later and she was greeted with a familiar voice.

"Hey, did you get my message," Lindsey asked.

"Yeah, just now. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I'm with my mom now, but when I called, I thought she could use the company."

"And now?"

"Now I know she needs the company. Do you think you can swing by for dinner? Say six o'clock?"

"I can try, but I just made other plans with someone."

"It's okay. If you can come by tonight at all, do it. I doubt dinner will be ready at six anyway."

"Okay. Does your mom know about this?"

"I didn't even know about this until I got here. We're about to go shopping, but it doesn't seem like she wants to go out."

"I'm sure she does, Lindsey, but you know your mom. Certain things make her want something more than others."

"Right," she flatly said. "Well, I hear she has steak, but I remember my mom told me not too long ago that you're a vegetarian, right?"

"Yes."

"I'd hate to ask you, but on top of trying to make it out tonight, can you bring a vegetarian dish? Something you like, but might help my mom feel better? Like what cranberry juice does for a urinary tract infection."

"Sure, but I have a question."

"What's that."

"Are you studying to be a doctor because last time I checked, you didn't have much of an interest in the medical field."

She laughed.

"My roommate had an infection last week."

"Ah."

"Anyway, text me when you're on your way over. Or text me if you can't make it after all."

"All right."

"Great. Hopefully, I'll see you later."

"Back at you."

"Bye," Lindsey said.

"Bye."

Sara hung up and took a moment to process what happened. She shook her head as she furrowed her brow, but took the phone into her room with her.

She headed straight for her bathroom and tossed her phone on her bed while she dumped her dirty shirt on the floor.

As the warm water cascaded down her sore body, she closed her eyes and tried to stay sane, if she could even be considered sane anymore. Unfortunately, she had all too much on her mind. In fact, she managed to simultaneously think of at least four different things, bits and pieces of her memories flashing and overlaying other memories.

She squeezed her eyes shut as the next set of images burned their way into her retinas.

Cigarette burns, being pushed down a moderate flight of stairs, bruised ribs, nights spent crying into the early morning. Catherine. Finding Catherine pinned under a deranged killer, visiting Catherine while she was battered and unconscious at the hospital. Gil. Seeing him during her vacation time, spending less and less time with him as the days go on, knowing he still talks to Heather Kessler, former dominatrix turned sex therapist. Alex. Flirting with her next door neighbor, not regretting standing there topless in front of him as they met for the first time, the realization that she hadn't worn her wedding band when she met him.

"Ah," she yelled as she rammed her fist into the tiled shower wall.

She started to breath heavily as she tried to regain control over her heart and mind, but she couldn't do it. Her past was taking over whether she wanted to admit it or not. It didn't matter that she left the lab a few years ago to deal with the same problems she was currently facing and, even though she took the time to deal with it then, she still needed more time to heal now.

Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think! I'm dying to receive feedback. ;)