Five stages of grief:(me 2)(stream of conscious)

I once read that humans have something called the five stages of grief. Turian just deal with it (well we throw a lot of stuff, but after that we deal, so that's what two stage of grief then?), but in retrospect I realized that turian go thru the same five stages, I should know I think I'm currently on bargaining. If I shoot enough merc it will bring her back. I know deep down this is not the case, but I can't stop it.

When Chellick came and told me of her death, I was in denial, for a few moment, but I knew that no one would lie about that. Then I got anger and thrashed my office.

After that I was depressed, I keep doing my job, but my heart wasn't in it, so I fled the citadel, to omega, unconsciously I had reach the bargaining stage, if I clean up omega, if I kill enough mercs, then maybe she would come back.

This is odd to be think about this now, when I am trapped in my own base, merc providing a target rich environment, and only a matter of time before I die too. At least I won't have go thru the stages again with my dead men, (pretty sure in denial on that one still). I guess the lack of sleep and too many stims will do that.

I deiced it was time for one last bargain to my... to her.

"Please come take me with you. Be my Valkyrie." I still remember that game of chess where she had tried to distract me by telling me of different warrior maidens of old.

I leaned back to the window finally at peace, knowing I'll be joining Her shortly, in what ever comes after death. Hope there are a lot of mercs. I smile faintly as there was another push and I line up a shot on a man in hideously green armor. I decided to talk to my Valkyrie "that's almost as bad as Ashley's outfit, hun shep?"

acceptance, first time since her death I used her name, and sure enough she appears in my scope.

My Valkyrie had come for me.

*me*me*me*me*me*me*me*me*me*

Monkey: (me2-me3)

Shepard was doing her regular rounds, checking on her crew. But was a bit distracted, from sound emitting from the cockpit. Finally her curiosity got the better of her.

"Monkey help!" she heard as she made her way to the cockpit.

And stopped behind Joker, "what are you do-"

"Monkey help!" came the girly voice again.

"Sorry Shep, playing a game." he paused it, "what do you need?"

Shepard shook her head, "I though you read up here?" Joker shook his head back and forth.

"Eh, taking a break playing some old games from pre-mass effect times. There not bad and they passes the time."

Shepard pointed to the hulking man on the screen, "compensating for something?" she smirked. Joker laughed.

"Meh he's ok, but check her out." he started the game back up and puled the camera around to show the girl, pants artful ripped. Tube top looked like it was going to fall off. And red hair, lots of red hair piled on her head.

"She Ok I guess." Shepard shurged as Joker's character tossed the girl across the opening. "Oh are those Leather pants?" Shepard asked looking closely at the hulking guy,

"Who Monkey? I guess."

"mmm, look at those scares, and his abs..." Shepard's voice trailed off, watching the hulking man in pants that where barley hanging on his waist "is that a tail?"

"Nah it his sash." Joker replied.

Shepard leaned on Joker's chair, and enjoying the view, for once it was not out in the star field.

a/n: trying something different on grief section, couldn't get the feel I wanted in any way but conscious stream, and felt that worked best to show Garrus state of mind during that scene.

the game in 'Monkey' would be enslaved: odyssey to the west. excellent game and I suggest playing it. it implies that it is an escort mission type game, but doesn't really feel like it, as she is quite useful. oh and monkey...*drool* yeah go play it. :D