Chapter 2
I walked slowly to the roof of Gauken Hetalia. It never seemed to go up this to think yesterday I was up here with Maddie. Maddie I'm sorry, I can't hold on, I love you, please remember that. I just can't deal with everything. Your so much stronger then me, I'm so selfish that I didn't tell you, but it's to save you. I left a note, I really love Maddie. Maddie is my girlfriend, I promised not to hurt her like Alfred, but I can't take it anymore. Maddie's important to me, I'd be able to live forever with her if it weren't for Toni and Alfred making them hate us, she helps me smile when I want to only cry, our relationship was so short, but I loved every moment her and I spent together.
Thinking back, I never thought I was capable of this. I hope your happy now Toni, your the reason I'm doing this, I only wanted to at least stay friends, but you couldn't even respect that could you? You needed me to suffer. So I promise I did.
I finally was about to do it, everyone should be in class by now. Funny I kind of wish people were here to watch what they caused, I took of the hoodie I wore on me and Maddies date, it was what had grounded me this whole time from killing, but now it had that beautiful smell of maple all over it. My cuts stung, like a burning tree in a wild fire, when firce wind hits them. I lean near the edege but I start to remember ...
"Lovi, be careful you could fall off the edge and get realy hurt."
"Nah Toni, I'm fine, you just worry to much, idiot." The italian laughed, carefully brushing her bangs out of her eyes...
"Toni" I whisper quietly
"But think Rovi." I tell myself in a whisper
"It's Valentines Day, and your about to kill yourself, instead of showering Maddie in love, and gifts." I find myself laughing darkly as I say this.
Heres Maddies gift from Toni, your girlfriends comitting suicide Maddie. Happy Valentines Day. Hahaha. But that makes me remeber the feeling of being here yesterday...
She decided, then, and there, she would murder the next person who hurt Maddie. They made her bleed, they made her cry.
But the person who made her girlfriend cry was infact herself, so the only respectable punishment would have to be...
I snap out of it as a cool breeze hits me. I should have ate a pancake this morning, everyone says thats they have one regret before suicide, thats mine. I didn't wanna force anything on Maddie, so more then what happened this morning is a big no.
I can't belive now, I'm almost on the edge. Maddie shouldn't have to suffer because I made her noticed. Toni should have some sort of punishment becuase of what he's done. I look out, only to see his figure jog, towards the school, perfect, I have decided the punishment. Congratulations, Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, you have won the honor of seeing me die. I laugh darkly again.
I'm on the edge now, as I slowly push my weight forward. I smile once more this was it, Feli you can have your attention from the world, Mom and Nonno can like you you can date all the Belles in the world for all I care, but I'll laugh when you get aids, and lay a fingure on Maddie and I'll haunt you until you die. As I'm falling, I feel so free, so safe. I'm sorry Maddie, please forgive me for being a bitch. For the rest of you I hope your happy. Expecially you Antonio.
That was my last breath...
(At that same moment with Antonio)
I can't belive I'm late again. Lets see, I have this class with Lovi right? Oh well I'm almost there, by the brusies still on my face from the weekend at the park, think she hates me enough now . I wish it didn't come to this, but Lovi knows it had to. I can't be friends with my exs,it just dosn't work.I told her already. I never have, so I had to make her hate me. I inhale once more as I stop my sprint and start walking, I wish I wasn't late today. I'm always late for first period, but today it feels like I'm really late, Lovino used to glare at me and call me stupid for being late. Then I used to hug her and she'd be a tomatoe. I miss it so much
A shadow apears to be right infront of me. I stop it's shadow getting smaller and smaller. A bone cracking blood shiqushy sound makes my whole body go numb. I look down, my eyes the only thing that will move. I see it, the body of possibly one of the students. Theres no uniform, my stomache flips, there blood everywhere. On my shoes, my uniform, all over the person, and sidewalk.A suicide jump. I look closely, A girl based off the long hair, she has light chestnut brown hair, it's matted with blood now. I freeze. Her boots, only one girl has those boots. The boots that are- well used to be, their now covered in, gulp, blood. A faded brown black that have a milatary style. Those are Lovinos shoes...Lovino is...Lovino she's...The girl on the ground is.
I try to scream but I can't I can't tell what just happened. How? How did it come to this? Lovi...She used to be my Lovi...
Lovinos body was shattered infront of me. Blood everywhere, the crimson was all over her skull that was crashed into the pavment, right infront of me.
"LOVINO!" I scream
"LOVINO!"
Why? It's all my fault... I told people.I told her she was a faggot.I let people push her around. I ignored her. I didn't save her. I broke her more, and she only wanted to be my friend. She really loved me. And I killed her.
I killed her
", There better be someone dieing for you to- OH MY GOD!"
I couldn't feel anything. Everything sounded like I was underwater. I was faintly aware that someone was trying to talk to me. Someone was also on the phone I could here them yell into the phone.
After today I can't feel anything but numbness. I was the reason she was dead. I was almost as broke as she was. I was once there, slipping away from my sanity wanting to die. Now that I think maybe it could have gotten worse.
Lovino had bad health mentaly and physically and I knew that. She had a hole in here heart from having belimia. She had Identity disorder. She often got horrible flashbacks, and I used to tell her that it was stupid and just the past. She was already gone. I killed her. I never thought with all of her 'Hey stupid if I died...You'd miss me right?' she'd do it one day...
"Hey stupid get off it's to early in the morning to be hugging me" Her soft hand slaps me like every morning
"Don't act like you don't like me Lovi you turn into a tomatoe whenever I'm around" I smirk as she gose crimson
Another slap "Shut it bastard"
"Thanks"
(The same time as Lovino on the roof with Maddie)
I walk slowly down the corredor. I wasn't surprised I knew soon it'd come to this. Almost noone knew I existed. Beside the people who harrassed me and Lovi for being in love. I'm sorry Lovi I hope this won't hurt you. Maybe you'll forget me in time like everyone else. Maddie William Bonnefoy.. Who's that? Why I don't even know. I left Lovi a note this morning it's on the fridge. Today she said she wasn't feeling well. I hope she gets better, I really do love her. I hope she stops cutting and her belimia gets better, as with her heart.
Maybe people will leave her alone without me here. I'm so sorry. Haha I remeber the first time I walked down these halls with Alfred.
"Ok Maddie follow me we'll find homeroom soon enough."
"Al were lost."
"Nope we'll find it and I'll make sure everyones nice to you here so don't worry."
His smile was like a million of those lights he talks about from New York.
No I can't think of him...He used to make me wanna do this. Going on stupid partys with his friends and drinking while I was waiting for him to come home. He used to hit me for being quiet. That's the way I am, sorry Alfred. Lovi would never hit me. I should tell her goodbye.
I dial her number on my phone. It goes right to the machine.
"If your not important don't fucking call me...Unless you plan to bring me a tomatoe." Her voice says
I hang up decided best to not call back and let her rest. Sorry can't say goodbye. Maybe this is best, maybe.
I take my last breath along with my last smile. As I hold up the gun to my head. I let a tear slip as the cold metal touches my hair. I slowly pull the trigger. I let a shaky breath as tears slip down my face. My last breath
Goodbye Lovino. I love you forever.
(Meanwhile with Alfred)
Man class is so boring. I wish Maddie was here she always looks so pretty. Not that I'll talk to her. She dosn't even like me. But its to bad I was gonna give her another chance to be with me. Arthur was a bust turns out he likes Maddies older brother Francis. Tonis idea of not talking to Maddie unless it's to say something mean is stupid. It pulled her to that stupid italian more then it did to draw her back to me. Man I need to leave this class
"HEY! I NEED TO LEAVE!" I yell to get the teachers attention.
"Why this time Alfred?" The teacher sighs
"I'm thirsty." I declare
"Take the pass please."
I'm so happy to fianlly get out of homeroom. She's sooooo boring. I walk down the countless halls until I see someone standing in an empty one. She looks like an angel. Honey blonde curly hair falling losly down her back. Then I notice as she holds something to her head. It was werid she kinda looked like Maddie, but Maddie always has pigtails. Huh the thing she's holding looks like a...SHIT!
I ran to her before I heard the shot pirced my ears like nails on a chalkboard. I knelt down to the girl. Blood pouring from her head. The smell seems to taunt me. She fell forward her face facing oppisite of were I was standing. Crimson red was on the walls and even more on the floor. I crawl to the other side of her to see the face. A sharp pain goes into my hand. I look down to see a pair of broken glasses.I pulled out the piece from my hand, and licked it, to stop the blood.
I moved some hair from the girls face only to see something I hoped I would never have to see. The face of the girl was pale, purply blue eyes still open. I put my hand over them so they'd close. She was so lifeless...DEAD... I shook tears threating to go over my eyes. I felt so numb.
"MADDIE!" I yell
A few teachers run out and are at a loss for words. I want to be strong but it comes out as a strangled whisper.
"Why?"
Then reality struck It was me..I killed Maddie, I was always trying to protect her. But I hurt her.
I killed her
It's my fault why did I do it?
I could hear screams like I was underwater. I gulp, am I a murder? Toni told me what to do but...but I listened to what he said, I did it. Dammit...I fucking killed her!
(Antonio)
Everything felt underwater. I couldn't hear much. I was faintly aware of someone yelling and shaking me. I could hear part of a converstation possibly with the ambulance.
"Yes...Two suicides...We still have a pulse on one so hurry...No the other sigh she's shattered into the pavement...Two girls...Yes they both went to school here.."
I held back any tears that threatend me. I stared off faintly aware of someone yelling at me. Maybe it's Belle...
"ANTONIO! I KNOW YOU IGNORING ME! SHE'S GONE HAHAHAHA SHE'S FUCKING GONE! IT'S WHAT YOUWANTED!"
It really isn't. I wanted to stop talking to Lovino, have her never speak to me.
'Well Bastard you got your wish'
That voice rang out it my head. It was like Lovi was in my head. Weak insults is all I remember. Her soft whispers of bastardo when I made her a tomato. Her complaints of me taking her tomatos and me comparing her to them. My sweet little tomato laugh slightly at werid things. Her small quirks that made her cute. The way she always tried to pretend she didn't moan when someone touched her bangs. The way she gets shy of speaking to people unless it's something important to her. The way she yells if I get to close then takes it back when I go away. The list could go on forever on what I loved about Lovino.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I saw bright lights and a man go near Lovino. MY Lovino. He was putting her on a strecher and covered it with a blanket.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!"
"My job sir." The man calmly replyed
"NO! YOU CAN'T TAKE MY LOVINO!"
The man ignored my yells and proceded to take my tomato away
"NO YOU CAN'T COVER HER LIKE THAT SHE-SHE'S AFRAID OF THE DARK!"
My yells weren't working. I had to do the last resort. I ran to the man and pushed him away then quickly clutched Lovinos lifeless bodys remains. There was something sticky on my hands I could feel it going through my clothes too.
"No..Please don't don't take away Lovino. She's afraid of being alone. Please she probably just hasn't taken her meds yet. he'll be ok if she has them." I beg I feel something wet cover my face.
A person comes up behind me and makes it so I can't move. The first man drags the strecher with Lovino to the ambulance.
"NO! LOVINO! LOVINO!...Please don't take mi tomate."
I hear a door open and more screams but not from me. People are talking to me from all around. But they aren't the voices I want to hear. I can't move. I feel so frozen. So lifeless like I'm dead.
(Alfred)
I had my head on my Maddies chest. Noone will ever come between us again. I was only faintly aware someone new entered the room.
He triesto move Maddie to the strecher. I grasp her tigher. He tries againb I don't budge. He bends down and touches her wrist.
"Kid you need to move so we can save her." He says
I glare lies. He's lying.
"She has a pulse but we have to hurry."
I let Maddie I can trust him. He slowly moved my canadian to the strecher. Wait what if he's lying. Maybe he's gonna steal my Maddie like that stupid italian bitch. Maybe he's- wait. Wheres Maddie. She's gone he took her.
I waste no time getting to my feet and running in the exit of the school. A car with flahing lights started to take off.
"THEY HAVE MADDIE! QUICK SOMEONE STOP THEM! MADDIE! MADDIE!" I can't keep up.
The vehicle was to fast I triped and was harshly sent to the ground. I didn't save her...I'm not the hero.
( 1 hour later in a hotel in Romainia Felicianos pov)
Today was so mcuh fun so far. It might be the best day ever. To bad Lovinos class didn't get to go to Romania. In a hour or two we're gonna go get lunch. Ludwig even seems to be having fun. He isn't yelling at me as much so thats good. Oh I know what I should do. I'll take a coin from there currency its called a leu. Lovino loves stuff like that.
Ludwig is taking a shower but after he is done we are gonna meet with the other two from our group. Francis and Arthur. They are really nice, but they tend to fight alot. But it's just lovers quarrels I guess.
I look at my phone like I'm waiting for Lovino to call. But then again my sister would never call me for any stupid reason so maybe not. I'm so glad I'm got used to calling her by the name Antonio changed it too. I used to feel like my heart would spilt in half having to call her Rovino. They named her 'I ruin' she belives it sometimes too which really hurts. But my sorella isn't a destroying thing. Nope she's really pretty and can make good gelato, and stop a fight, and she can sing really pretty too. But she hans't done it much sense middle school.
I jump as my ringtone starts to play. It startles me sometimes when I space out. I answer without looking at the caller id.
"Ciao." I say happily into the phone
"Is this Feliciano Vargas?Younger brother to Lovino Vargas?" The voice was deep I didn't know it. Was Sorella in trouble?
"Yes?" I answer unsurly
"I'm very sorry to deliver this call but your sister has been dead since 9:30 this morning."
` Did I hear him right? Dead..My sorella Lovino, the girl who throws tables at tvs because she dosn't like the score of a game. The same Lovino Vargas who was so strong nothing could hurt her. No this this can't be...
"? Are you still there?" I gulped listening to the deadpanned voice.
"Y-yes" My voice is so shakey it's almost like I can't breathe
"We'd prefer if you could be here in London as soon as possible." The voice said
"I undertand." I say though I really dont understand
I know I must have said something else but I can't think of it. Im feel so unaware. How did I just lose my sister?
"Feliciano you can shower now if you want." The german accent fluttered from the bathroom.
(Ludwig)
I wrapped a towel around my waist before slicking my hair back. I looked into the mirror. How did I even deserve Feliciano. I study myself. I have straight Blonde hair with my bangs slicked back always a very hard and serious face and serious blue eyes. Feliciano on the other hand has beautiful chocolate brown eyes, short straight light red borwn hair and this one curl that can never stay in place. Feliciano was an angel sent from god for me to love. Felicianos only problem was that overprotective sister of his. I'm probly one of the most feared sophomore next to that swed Berwald.
I sighed and went to open the bathroom door.
"Feliciano you can shower now if you want."
When I opened the door I never expected to see it. Feliciano was laying on the floor shaking violently. Cell phone on the ground infront of him.
"Feliciano!" I ran over to him as fast as I could without dropping my towel. The carpet near him was wet and I could hear slight sobs.
He looked up at me as I put my arm on his back. He jumped and wrapped his arms around me. I feel to the carpet with a harsh thud. His beautiful smile wasn't there, instead a frown. His eyes were shut with tears overflowing them.
"No perché la mia sorella se n'è andata perché quel bastardo stupida fatta morire voglio!" He cried pounding on my chest
I didn't know what to do. Or what he was saying, I calmly rubbed his back and made calming sounds. After near an hour he was asleep. I could hear my phone ringing from the bedside table, I moved him soflty onto the bed.
"Sorella." He squeaked in his sleep when I set him down.
I sighed as I answered my phone
"Hallo." I said sternly
"WEST! DUDE IT WAS INSAINE! not insaine awesome insaine scary and bad and shit! DUDE HAS FELI GOT THE CALL YET?"
The fast accent flew through the phone like a huge breeze. I reconised it, Gilbert Belschimdt, my older brother.
"Repeat again but slower Gil." I said sternly I didn't know what he was talking about what call.
"Lovino! Felis sister, she jumped off the fucking school!" He exclaimed
"What!" I yelled into the phone loudly
"Yeah today was like double sucide day. I should probably see if Frany is ok his younger sister shot her self, but she might still be alive." Gilbert said thoughfully
"Wait go back about Lovino. Tell me everything from the begining."
"It's not really something I wanna talk about..." Gilbert said getting quieter
"WHAT HAPPENED!" I yelled again to show how serious this was
"Lovino and Toni broke up as you know...But he just I dunno started to sleep with everyone. Then he was goin out with Belle. It really hurt Lovino she started cutting. But then Toni started spreading everything bad he knew about Lovino. Apprantly she's a bisexual. But people started beating her up and harrassing her. Then she started goin out with Franys sister Maddie. So Maddie got sucked into it too. Someone lite Maddies dorm on fire so they started staying together. Then it was like everywhere they got bullied. Then today I was in 2nd period and I saw something fall. I thought it was a angel that needed some awesome help so I went outside and Toni was there with teachers and stuff and Lovino was crushed into the ground and stuff. Tried to ask what happened but he looked really shooken up he even had a fight with the medics when they tried to take her away."
My eyes widdened. Lovino 'I'm not even fucking with you don't touch my brother or I'll hang your ass in the woods were noone can fucking find you' Vargas was dead. Dead. She and I never got along but I would never wish her dead.
"We got to leave early but noone really seems affected." I tried to keep listen to him talk but Felciano started to wake up.
"I have to go Gil." I told him closing my phone.
"Feliciano, Es tut mir leid für Sie." I said pulling him into a hug
Noone desrved to have to live like Lovino has, I'm so sorry for her.
(Francis)
"I'm going to check on Feliciano and Ludwig they're late." Arthurs british accent told me told me trying to straighten his messy hair as we sat in the lobby of our hotel.
"Don't take to long Mon amour." I said snickering as his overly large eyebrows were raised then went to normal
"Don't call me things like that git." He murmered
I chuckled as my boyfriend walked to our little underlings rooms. My cell phone ringtone blasted. Hmm maybe it was finally Toni responding to my texts about him and Lovino.
"Bonjour?" I said
"Is this Francis Bonnefoy older brother to Maddeline Williams Bonnefoy?" The voice definiately wasn't mon amis voice
"Oui this is. Why?" I was uncertain Maddie can't be in school trouble she's so quiet.
"Maddieline is dead." The womans voice told me it was completely deadpanned
"Im sorry for your lose sir please return to London a-sap." Then the line went blank
Did she just-was she serious? Maddie! I know I'll call her she'll always answer her brothers calls.
"Hello..Sorry I can't take your call right now sorry. Oh this is Maddies phonr in case you didn't know." The voicemail filled my ears.
I clutched my .Dead how was my sister dead.
"MA SOEUR!" I yelled many people gave me looks. But I didn't care. I pressed speed dial 2 on my phone.
"I've been gone two seconds what is it bastard." The brit said to me
"We are returning to London tonight." I told him tears makeig it had to talk.
"Why do we need to wait one second...MY GOD WHAT'S WRONG! I'll call you back francy pants." The line went dead and I cried slintely in the lobby.
"Maddeline."
(Arthur)
The happy italian I've gotten to know over the past 4 weeks was curled into a ball tears slipping his face and he was shaking. His usual smile was completely gone. Next to him the strict german I've known was completely differnt his usual slicked back hair had fallen into his face. Tears slipping his face as well, he didn't have his usual scowl either he looked rather deadpanned except for the tears.
"Whats wrong with you gits did someone die?" I tried to joke laughing a little Ludwig growled and Felicianos sobbs grew heavy and fierce.
I kneeled onto the ground and rubbed my hand on Felicianos back to try to stop the crying. I hummed a song I used to sing to Alfred when he would cry. I heard heavy footsteps and the door swong open. Only once before had I seen this.
Francis was in tears. He only cried before when his mother Joan died in a fire. But now his only living relative was.
"Oh god is Maddie-" I was going to ask if she was alright but was quickly cut off my Francis.
"Je vais tuer ce frère stupide américaine de la vôtre baise tué ma petite soeur!" He screamed and lewt more tears slip.
From the bit of french I knew he was talking about Alfred and he was stupid. He did something. Il baise tué ma petite soeur...Oh my god. He killed Maddie.
"H-how?" I really didn't want to open Francis' wound but I need to know.
"She shot herself in the school this morning that stupid bastard was supposed to watch her!"
I bit my lip. Maddie was such a sweet shy girl how was she capable of this? Wait Feliciano has a sister, and Ludwig has a brother.
"How are your sibblings?" I asked in the most soothing voice I could muster.
"G-Gils -" Ludwig stutter? I had never heard him do that before.
"L-L-Lo-Lov-v-vino." Feliciano said through fierce tears. Ludwig lowered his head a shiny tear dripped down his cheek.
My god. Yes, I knew Lovino. She wasn't the nicest. I didn't know how Antonio put up with her. She would always call him a bastard and smack him. She was very pretty like Natlia absolutely beautiful. Dispite her temper, I wasn't her fan but. She didn't deserver to die.
"We have to go back to London tonight." I stated. They all looked up.
"I'll call and get us there soon. Truly sorry for your lose. Please excuse me." I said leaving them all in the room to grieve
I settled our call to the airport rather quickly also calling us a cab. Now for the most important call.
The phone went straght to voice mail.
"HEY! You've reached the hero. I'm to busy being awesome to ansewer you so leave a messege." I scowled no time for messeges. I only hung up, then left to pack.
(Alfred)
I drove quickly following the did they take my Maddie. I was going the same speed as the ambulance. I'd make sure Maddie soon as we got to the parking lot I parked somwhere random, parking spot or not it didn't matter. I ran inside to see the people who had Maddie. I ran and caught up behind them. They all were talking about it was usuless. What was useless?
A man blocked me from the door.
"STAY OUT HERE KID!" He barked I stayed. I paced around
How can I stay here when Maddies in pain. Because of me, Maddie is hurting. I should be there instead. I am supposed to be her hero. Why? Why did I follow that idiots advice?
(... )
Alfred began to panick. But Alfred, you shouldn't worry. That can cause insanity, an insanity so sweet and painful. You wished to see her again, right? But don't you know, becareful Alfred. Your wish might come true. Didn't you ever get told that? It's called in your case...A lovely pain. It starts in the heart in steps.
1) Disbeleif 2) Hatred towards everyone but yourself 3)Sorrow 4) Illusions 5) Happiness 6) Insainity 7) Destruction
8) Self mutilation 9) Revenge 10) Death
Maddie, young sweet Maddie, such a hopeful life. Doctors are panicking too, do you know why? They are hoping too, hoping that you don't have the bullet in your brain. Or that it never hit a major vein. But, thats so rare. Infact it almost never happens. Hahahahaha. Wish you may Alfred, wish you might. Lovely pain, takes over your heart tonight.
To much blood, sticky crimson red liquid. Long beeps signal it. The doctors try to hold in a cry, leting tears slip. One is worried he broke a promise to a young blonde haird boy who was atching in horror. Lovely Pain taking it's first course. Who am I? Noone yet everyone. I take their places for revenge. I am a helper of the lost to ease their dead hearts. Call me, the promise. I'll make sure Maddie is helped, and that Alfred takes his medicine like a good boy.
(...)
Love. Dose it mean anything to people these days. I have to write down so many names now to my list. Idiots all of them. She is so rare. Blood type, personality, everything. She defys gravity. An athiest italian. The world is insaine. But I understand her. She's kinda like promise. But not.
"Break little angle, Break. Theres nothing left for you to want." Singing is the best to calm the lost soul. But better for me to get my mind off cleaning up that nasty bloody mess.
"P-Please...Cough cough...I know your a demon of regret..Cough cough..I prefer my own revenge" I was certainly surprised. But I already know her game.
I smiled down at the blood filled girl. She stared daggers at me. What a pityful ending.
"Lovely for you -VI-NO." I said her name in syllables respectavly like at a child as I dug my favorite per bloodied dagger through what was left of her heart.
Her eyes were still .I should shut those. Or leave them for Promise. Yup thats the plan. Oh no those eyes their near impossible to copy. Oh well Antonio has the worst case of lovely pain ever. This will be funny. I lick the delisious AB positive blood off my dagger.
Her really name is so beautiful. To ruin, how delectable. Rovino, Rovino. She thought she could hide by changeing her name. How silly you can't hide from Lie. Never.
Lalalalalalala happiness comes to those with pain. My happiness hahahahaha. Soon I'll be cleaning up another case of Lovely Pain.
10 steps of Lovely pain An-To-Ni-O.