Chapter 2: Jared- Kim Cries

I started to shake, boiling heat rolling through my body and I couldn't hold myself together anymore. I phased, tearing my jeans into pieces as I howled to the sky.

I couldn't phase back when I got to the small clearing behind Sam's house, and I circled for over an hour, trying to calm down. I gave up and howled again; Emily ran out a few seconds later.

"Oh, you scared me, Jared. He's at Billy's." I barked my thanks and dashed to Billy's.

Just as I reached the door I started to feel cold again, the boiling passion was starting to die and I concentrated; getting my human shape back slowly. I could feel my legs straighten and elongate and my jaw realign.

Without any other option, I strode in the back door completely in the buff.

"And to what do we owe the pleasure of a naked Jared?" Billy asked cheerily rolling himself to Jacob's room.

"What's wrong Jared," Sam demanded. I grabbed the sweats from Billy as he rolled back into the living room and put them on before threw myself on the couch. It groaned under my weight.

"I imprinted."

"And is that an occasion to be gloomy?" Billy asked settling next to me.

"Is she okay?" Sam's face was worried and I knew what he was thinking, what he was scared of. My stomach lurched, and I felt nauseous at the thought of it, of hurting Kim.

But I had, I had hurt her somehow.

"She's fine, I think—I mean, she hates me, but I didn't hurt her or anything," I rambled. I rubbed my scalp, I still wasn't adjusted to the new crew cut and it felt rough and unfamiliar against my fingers.

"She doesn't hate you, I'm sure," Billy said patting my shoulder.

"What happened?"

"Um… I saw her and the world shifted and—well you know that whole thing— and we skipped class our fifth period class together. She kissed me and we headed to the beach and we were about to do it and-"

"You guys were about to do what?" Sam asked his mouth open in shock.

"Don't make me say it again, you know what I mean," I yowled lying back again.

"Continue," Billy said gesturing.

With me lying back and Billy sitting near my head I felt like a patient seeing a shrink and it made it easier for me to close my eyes and elaborate on the whole messed up story.

When I finished I opened my eyes again, peeking under my eyelashes to check their reactions. Billy was nodding gravely, but Sam looked more than amused.

"Well, it sounds like things went a little too fast, son," Billy said soberly, but then Sam started to laugh uncontrollably and Billy couldn't keep his face straight anymore.

"And she sounds sorta crazy!" Sam wailed holding his side, I felt the anger rolling over me and I glared at him before he apologized. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, this isn't funny."

"You just need to try to figure her out, son. You need know more about her before intimacy. And you can't just go around throwing I love yous in the wind, you'll scare her away," Billy said sagely.

"You know, when I met Jacob's mother, I couldn't help myself, she was so beautiful, I just had to tell her. I screamed 'you're beautiful' and she laughed but I got her in the end. It took me a while, but it was worth it."

Billy told us more about his wife. Our families weren't close but I vaguely remembered her kind face from tribal events as a child. I remembered the way she doted on her kids, back in the days when Billy stood tall.

"Thanks, Billy."

I felt better.

I needed to know her, I needed to let her know me. I needed to rewind the afternoon of unimaginable passion and get to know her, everything about her: her favorite movie, song, food, why she smelled like gummy bears? Where she lived? What her family was like.

It was just past five pm as I walked outside and I tried to rack my brain for any information I might have to find her. I came up disgustingly blank.

I could still smell her coconut/lime/gummy bear combination clinging to the inside of my nose and inhaled deeply. When the breeze picked up from the east I caught her scent again, less than two miles away.

I had no shoes, and the ground felt cold as I ran toward her. I rounded a corner blindly following the pull I felt behind my navel and her scent. I pinpointed her location quickly, feeling ultra-cool with my new super-ninja abilities, then lame again for thinking about them as super-ninja abilities.

I could hear her as I got nearer. She was inside the corner store talking to Embry's mother, who worked behind the counter.

"Tiffany, you know me," Kim's voice was pleading and it broke my heart. I didn't know what she was pleading for but I wanted to give it to her, I didn't want her to ever ask for anything!

I tried to get closer to the store, staying out of the light on the street so she couldn't see me. The whole moving in the shadows thing felt particularly double oh seven and I smiled to myself as I made my way to the side of the building.

"I gotta ask Mrs. Ateara honey, it ain't my store," the woman's voice was sympathetic and there was a shuffling sound and a dial tone before she spoke again. The woman walked to the back of the store and whispering into the phone but I could still hear her.

"Joy it's Tiffany, I got Holly's daughter Kim here, trying to return some liquor for-" whoever was on the other side of the line cut her off, but I could only hear a buzzing.

"Yeah, okay, just making sure," she responded, hanging up. I could hear her footsteps as she went back to the front of the store. "Okay, an even exchange," she said cheerily.

"Yeah, like I said," Kim said defensively.

I was so in tune with her tone of voice, I could just see the look she made as she said them. Kim's footsteps were light but determined and after she was checked out she walked out the door, a large paper bag in her arms.

I wanted nothing more than to take it from her, to carry everything for her, hell even carry her, she would never have to walk if she didn't want to. I could be like her own personal chauffeur. I sighed deeply, waiting till she was a safe distance ahead before I followed.

It was getting darker now and a very light drizzle started from the west. She would get cold soon, she wasn't wearing much and she was going to get wet.

Where was her house? We had been walking for a while deeper into the bad side of town. The unfamiliar streets seemed to get more unkempt as we went. No one in La Push was rich, my father might have been the closest thing to wealthy in miles but this area was known for poverty well below the average.

She turned a corner onto a small hidden dead-end road and I had nowhere to hide. There were no bushes to slink through so I took to the trees, feeling extra Tarzan like, did I mention how cool it was being a werewolf?

She walked into a small yellow two-story house with a silver car parked in the driveway and I immediately sprang to the tree closest to it. There was a loud commotion inside and I strained to hear, my heart beating so hard in my chest it almost hurt.

"Where are they Kim?" An older woman's voice rang through the house and my ears pricked painfully.

There was a thudding sound and a grunt, Kim's grunt, and the tearing of a paper bag. I couldn't stand not seeing what was going on and I hopped on the roof, scaling the side of the building all Spiderman style, which was pretty fucking cool but not helpful because I was nowhere near the window.

"Mommy?" Another voice, a small child called from the second floor.

"Stay in your room Matty," Kim called out but I could hear his little footsteps running down the stairs.

"Are you okay Kimmy?" The voice a small boy's whined.

"I'm fine, I just fell, don't worry 'bout it kiddo. Don't just stare at me though, help me pick up these groceries," she said scrambling around.

"Kim, I'm fucking serious, I want to-"

"Not in front of Matthew, mom," she said coldly.

"Now, Kim!"

"Okay, fine! I took them back to the fucking store that you bought them from and exchanged them for food! We don't all live on a liquid diet. He needs to eat before he goes to school! We ate crackers and gummy bears for breakfast, while you were upstairs passed out!" The answering smack was loud and I prayed although I knew it couldn't be true, that Kim had smacked her mother and not the other way around.

The boy started to scream and I hoped, and it was a terrible, terrible, terrible hope—that she had smacked him instead. I couldn't, could not handle the idea of Kim being hit, smacked by anyone!

"I'm fine, Matty. Don't cry just take those to the kitchen, okay?" Kim was holding back tears and I gripped harder to the side of the building, crushing the brick I was clinging to and crashing very clumsily to the grass below.

I scrambled up to my feet and ran around to the side of the building following her steps with my ears as she walked upstairs and slammed a door. I was at a bad angle to see in the window and I climbed the nearest tree which gave me a perfect view into her bedroom. It was sickening how happy I was to know I could look into her room at any time.

"Kim, I'm not finished," her mom said pushing the door open so hard that it clattered loudly against the wall.

Kim, so beautiful, so stunning, so magnificent and wonderful came into view. She crossed the room and opened her closet. With her back to her mother she rummaged around, standing up straight and tossing a half empty bottle of alcohol at her.

"Here, knock yourself out." Her face was hard, but her eyes, her stunning hazel eyes were sad. "And make him something to eat, he has to be hungry by now," Kim pushed her mother back and closed the door in her face.

She locked the door this time, pressing her back against in and breathing deeply. She crossed the room again, searching her bag and pulling out a small white box.

Her room, which was small and on the corner of the house had two windows, the one that I was looking into on the side and one that faced the street, which was directly above the porch awning. She opened that window and climbed out sitting on the small landing just above the front door.

My heart beat so hard it felt like it was in my throat, she was so high up, and far away, on a shoddy looking metal awning and there was no way I could make it to her in time if she fell.

I leapt to a closer tree soundlessly, which allowed me access to the roof. I sat as close as I dared, watching her profile. She watched the road with her knees clutched tightly to her chest before she pulled out the white box again, a cigarette box.

Virginia Slims: menthol. I watched her chain smoke two cigarettes as she cried silently. She mumbled something about being dumb and I wanted to contradict her, it took all my strength not to speak.

She climbed back inside and I changed my position turning away as she changed. The image of her naked body was still burned permanently in my memory but watching now would feel like a violation. I did watch as she read peacefully and then settled into her bed, turning off all of her lights.

If I could have one wish, one request for my future hundred plus years of ridding the world of vampires, it would be to lie with her then. To hold her, to comfort her, to kiss her cheek and—I don't know, just be with her. It was well past ten pm when I finally gave up and headed home, my mother was waiting for me.

"Hey Jared, I was hoping you would come home before patrol," she said smiling widely. I appreciated her more than I ever had in my life. I rushed to her and picked her up in a bone crushing hug.

"I love you mom."

"Oh honey, I love you too, very much! But I can't breathe, so maybe you could loosen up a bit?" She said wheezed. I let her down and when she looked up into my eyes her expression changed.

"Come on, I got a meatloaf waiting for you. While I warm it up you can tell me about your day." I followed her into the kitchen, wondering suddenly if anyone ever made meatloaf for Kim.