Chapter 11: Kim Whispers

I heard the front door open and close but I ignored it, snuggling even closer to Kim as the footsteps ascended, her body felt so soft and perfect against mine I couldn't let go.

"I love you," I whispered into her hair. She was awake, I could tell from the change in her breathing, and I still so amazed that she believed me that I couldn't stop saying it.

"Did you guys have sex?" Matty's little voice sounded from the door. He ran through the room, hopping merrily on the foot of the bed.

Kim yawned loudly, rubbing her eyes and sitting up slowly before she spoke, because I sure as hell wasn't going to answer him.

"No, Matty."

"Well, Jordan says that when a guy—"

"Jordan's an idiot," Kim shot back. Matty looked momentarily offended and I chuckled, one of the cutest things that Matty and Kim shared was their super expressive faces.

"Your eyes are red. Why were you crying?" Matty asked quietly, looking at me with a furrowed brow, I held my hands up as if to say, 'Hey, it wasn't me so please don't attack'.

"Cuz I was just so damn happy," she said dryly.

Matty laughed and wiggled between us. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and my heart swelled when he didn't shy away but instead smiled more brightly.

The thought of him leaving hurt more. I never put much thought into kids, not until I met Kim, and part of me, a bigger part than I'd ever tell anyone, felt like Matty was my own.

"Jordan says Crystal's always happy when she has sex," he countered, looking up at Kim with a devious kiddie smirk.

"We didn't have sex, Matty. Get off it!" she cried her hands moving to tickle his stomach.

He giggled like a little girl which made me smile wider. My cheeks were starting to hurt from the constant smile, and he hopped on top of me, lying flat as if I was an extension of the bed, well away from her tickle-range. His face turned serious for a second though.

"Why didn't you have sex, you like her right?" He asked looking at me from the corner of his eye.

"Matty!" Kim howled, her face turning red.

"How did you get here? Weren't you supposed to be at Crystal's with Michael and Jordan?" I asked trying desperately to save Kim from dying of pure embarrassment. She blushed occasionally when I kissed her neck, or complimented her, but I had never seen her this red before.

"Crystal dropped me off, because she had to work. But why were you crying?" He asked again. He was a persistent little guy.

"I wasn't."

"Yes you were."

"No I wasn't. So deal with it!" She said kissing his forehead, her hair brushed my face and I was mesmerized again, I couldn't help but turn her face with my free hand and kiss her. She pulled away, leaving me with Mr. Asks-a-lot.

"Can we go to your house today?" He asked the back of his head bouncing absentmindedly on my chest.

"Sure, but I've gotta go to Aunt Emily's today for a while. Maybe you and Kim can—" Kim came back in the room dressed in a purple sweater and jeans, and I couldn't speak. She was stunning and I started to notice new things about her.

The second I first laid eyes on her I knew she was the most perfect woman in all of creation, but new things occur to me constantly, like how purple made her eyes look a bit grey, and how when she left her hair down (like she did today) the top of her hair line seemed to dip down making an almost perfect heart shape.

"Matty you've got your yearly checkup today, remember? You need your booster shots," Kim said sitting Indian style on the edge of the bed.

"Oh man! Do I have to?"

"Yes. So hurry up and get dressed, we've gotta be in Forks in an hour," she said pushing him off the bed. He whined dramatically but sprinted off of me and out of the room.

I finally hopped out of her bed, standing and grabbing my shirt off the floor. I had discarded it late in the night when our combined body heat became uncomfortable. As I moved to put it on her hand crept up my chest from behind and I was frozen, spellbound by her tiny hands.

She came around front but her eyes didn't meet mine, instead they swept across the cuts and swells of my chest and abs. She had never really examined me like this and I started to feel uncomfortable. Her body was like art: soft and flowing, feminine, and perfect.

Men's bodies are so much more rough and utilitarian, I started to worry she might not like it. With my eyes closed, I inhaled enjoying the feeling of her hands on my skin. She leaned in closer and I could feel her hot breath on the crease between my pecks; her lips made contact with the skin there and left a spot of pure fire.

"You. have. a really nice. body. Jared," she said between kisses than she lightly trailed up and around my chest, her fingernails crawling my back.

I leaned down the full foot height difference, pushing her hair away from her neck. Her collarbone was delicate and defined and I placed a timid kiss there, unsure of where the limits were anymore, the line with Kim was constantly moving.

"So do you," I finally got the nerve to respond, my arm wrapping around her waist.

"Do I?" She wasn't joking, she honestly didn't notice her perfection.

"Yes. Perfect," I whispered in her ear, softly cupping her ample breast. Her heartbeat sped instantly. I really liked her breast, like really. I always liked breast, but her breast, they were wonderful.

"Jared, can I ask you something seriously, no bullshitting," she asked pulling away. I nodded, a sign for her to ask, but I was a little sad about the break in contact with her breast. My hands were supposed to be on them, it was predetermined, part of the imprint.

"When you say you have to go to work, is that like another way of saying you have to go and be with—I mean, I'm wouldn't be mad or anything, we're not a couple so, you're free to see anyone you—"

"What are you talking about?" I asked staring at her. We were a couple, she was my girlfriend… right?

"Nothing, never mind, it's none of my business," she walked to her closet, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and climbing out the window before I could stop her. I stood, anxiously waiting for her to get back inside.

I hated that she smoked, she wasn't a werewolf, if her lungs got damaged they weren't going to repair themselves, but I said nothing. I knew many things about Kim and one of them was Kim answers to no one, that's one of the things I loved most about her. When she came back in the room, I broke the silence.

"I've gotta go to Sam's for work, maybe you can bring Matty to my house tonight? I can make my mom's special doctor visit brownies?"

"Do you seriously want me to hang out with your family? You saw how well that went with Emily," she asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, well Paul won't be there." I moved forward wrapping my arms around her waist. "And I want my mom to really meet you. The real you. You don't have to be the girl next door. My Kim is perfect," I whispered in her ear. Her breath hitched and I took the opportunity to kiss her freely. She responded fully, her fingers lacing through my hair and pulling me close.

I poked my tongue out touching the tip of her lips which tasted like fresh mint and a hint of tobacco.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I want you to be comfortable in my home, with my family. I mean you are my girlfriend," I said kissing her again, trying to stake a claim on her. I couldn't help it, being with her, allowed to kiss her this way… this was the best feeling in the world, I wanted her to know she was mine, to want to be mine.

"Very presumptuous of you," she said poking me, but I could see the excitement in her eyes. I had won her over, after a month I had made the center of the universe like me, even if it was just a little bit.

"So you're not my girlfriend then?" I asked jokingly. My heart was so light I felt like I could float away, cuz what could be bad in the world when the sun was shining down on you?

"Do you want me to be your girlfriend? There are no other girls that might be better for that title?" She asked her eyes serious again.

How could she still not understand? How could I make it any clearer that she was my world, I knew everyone of her secrets and I was still here, wasn't that enough? And even as I thought it I knew it wasn't because honestly, she knew nothing about me. I had to tell her everything… but what if that meant scaring her away?

"Kim there are no other girls as far as I'm concerned. You're going to marry me one day. I'd put money on that," I chose my words wisely, but I spoke them with confidence. She was meant for me, we would be together.

"How much money?" She said kissing my cheek.

"You should marry him, Kimmy," Matty said entering the room and squishing himself between us again.

"Stay out of it, Peeping Tom," she said picking him up. He was tiny, but at her height he seemed bigger.

"She will… eventually," I said smiling down at him. Kim hissed, but her eyes were bright. God, I loved her eyes, they were so beautiful.

"Do you guys need a ride to Forks?"

"You gotta go to Sam's right? I'll take my mom's old beater," she said grabbing lip-gloss from her top drawer.

"No, take my car," I said rummaging through my pocket for the keys. When I handed them to her, her eyes widened so adorably I had to kiss her again, to which Matty whooped loudly.

We walked out together, Matty giving me a huge crushing hug around my leg and Kim giving me a shy kiss on the lips and a 'thanks'.

I went home to shower and change, simultaneously ecstatic that Kim was coming around, excited and worried about a new wolf in the pack, sad that my little guy would be gone in less than three months and confused exactly where Kim and I were at the moment. Was she my girlfriend?

My mom forced me to sit and eat a huge breakfast of omelets, hash browns and pecan waffles, while she questioned me.

"Have fun last night?" She asked examining my face. It was not as embarrassing as I thought it would be, talking about my sex-life with my mom.

"We just slept. I like just being with her," I said cutting into another stack of pecan waffles.

"Hmm. Well, does she know about the wolf thing yet?" She asked grabbing herself a plate of hash browns.

"No." I knew she would ask soon. My mom had already hinted at the subject twice before, wondering aloud when I was going to 'be honest with the girl' already.

"Well, if she's your soul mate it's just common courtesy," she said curtly.

"I'm not lying to her. I'm just worried," I admitted. I wasn't really in the mood to talk about this, so I changed the subject. "What did you think of her?"

"Oh, she's lovely honey," her tone told me that was not exactly what she wanted to say.

"You don't like her?" My heartbeat was rapid, the thought of my mother, the most important person in my life, not accepting Kim: my world, was terrifying.

"Oh my god, no! I like her honey, she seems really sweet. I just feel so bad for her. Her eyes, they're just so sad, it breaks my heart when I see those two," her voice broke near the end and I loved her even more.

Sam told me when he imprinted it was like no one else in the world really mattered, but honestly, there was no one that could make me forget my mother.

"She's sending him away. She's sending Matty to live with his aunt."

"Oh, that's so awful for her. How did Matty take it? He really loves her. She's lucky she has two such amazing guys looking out for her."

"She hasn't told him yet," I mumbled through a mouthful of omelet.

"Kim's doing the right thing for Matty, she's an exceptional girl… he needs a real, stable home with a family," my mom said, her eyes were tearing.

"Oh look at me, such a baby. When you're finished with breakfast you should head over to Sam's. I'm guessing that cub might be needing some company other than Paul by now."

My mother was right. When I got to Sam's I found a very pale Embry and stationed with an extremely chipper Paul.

I love Paul, it's weird saying that, but I do. He's really a good guy, once you get to know him better. He's loud, he's annoying, he's pushy, and sometimes he's perverted, but he's a great brother. It might not look like it to the rest of the world, but Paul was being supportive, sitting next to Embry as he twitched and shivered, looking incredible surly.

"How ya feeling?" I asked patting his back. Embry's long curly eyelashes reminded me of Kim and I felt a pang counting the hours till I could see her again. She had agreed to dinner at my house when she got back in town, and I smiled inappropriately wide.

"Like shit. My body feels like it's being stretched and pulled in every direction," Embry's spat.

I remembered uncomfortably lying flat on my back in a clearing for hours after zit phased back for the first time. I reveled in the cool dampness of the grass against the stinging pain that painted my skin.

"Aw, don't be a baby," Paul said playfully smiling at him.

"Yeah, it sucks. It feels better in wolf-form, which is why Paul here doesn't remember the pain. He was too much of a hot head to phase back for the first week," I said reassuringly. No man wanted to look like a pussy in front of a group of guys.

"How-how do I do it… I mean, go back," he asked.

"I can smack you around a bit, that should do the trick," Paul said putting his arm around Embry's shoulder. Embry flinched, not out of distaste for Paul but because any pressure on his skin was painful. I could tell though by the way Embry glared at Paul, he was warming up to him too.

"It takes a little time, you can come practice with us," Sam said as he walked back into the room with Emily on his arm. Emily smiled at me, and I noticed something different about her.

I had always thought Emily was a beautiful girl, even with the deep red gashes that lined her face. I never thought about it with Sam around, I never mentioned it of course out of respect, even when images of her slender naked body flashed through Sam's head I never dwelled on them like Paul, but now, it was like I was looking at her through a foggy screen. I couldn't really see the details anymore.

Sam caught me staring in her direction and shot me an evil glare, but I couldn't stop, I continued to blink trying to clarify her features, because my memory was failing me.

Sam pushed me out of the house a little roughly and the boys followed to the patch of woods behind Sam's house.

"What the fuck was that?" Sam demanded, pushing me against a tree. The tree let out a groan and Embry began to shake next to me.

"I'm sorry," I was rubbing the back of my head, where I felt the hot liquid draining. Embry shook harder and I grabbed his shoulder just as he exploded. His claws sunk into my chest leaving a large gash.

My shirt was already ruined so, I didn't bother taking it off before joining Embry in wolf form.

We weren't going to get a chance to help him learn to phase voluntarily today, he was too unstable. It was still a good opportunity to get him familiar with La Push now that he had the cool werewolf senses.

It's an interesting thing phasing voluntarily, it was a lot more difficult than just freaking out and took a lot of training and skill. You can stand for an hour clenching and balling your fist and trying to force the fur through but nothing— then get pissed and poof, you're on all fours.

Sam's mind joined us and then Paul's and it only took a few seconds looking into my mind before Sam realized why I had gawked at her so shamelessly. I hadn't realized in the weeks since Kim joined my life that all women had become blurry to me.

Imprinting was an extremely difficult concept to explain to new wolves after their first few phases, but it was sped up for Embry this time.

It never really meant anything to me before it happened. When Sam explained imprinting to us, he sort of made it seem rare and like it would probably never happen to us, but with the pack at 50/50 imprinted it wasn't really an idle threat anymore.

This time around I got to join in on the explanation, it was bizarre trying to tell someone what it's like to have your whole world readjusted, almost impossible. When Sam told us about it, he basically explained it as nothing mattering anymore, but that wasn't it, that wasn't enough.

It was like gravity, it was as if everything shifted and she was the center of it all—wow, I felt so Harlequin romance novel saying that. As a child I actually read a few of my mom's romance novels when I ran out of new things to read at the library. As soon as I had the thought I knew Paul was never going to let me live down.

Oh hell no I'm not! And we've got a long, long life to live, Jared! So tell me, what was your favorite? Gypsy Love, maybe? Pirate Passions, perhaps? Paul's thoughts were awash with humor and I fed into it, thinking of all of the Fabio clad covers I could remember.

So this imprint girl, how did you tell her about the wolf thing? Embry asked the million dollar question and it opened up a stream of thoughts and images, even the ones I tried so hard to suppress. Naked Kim. Crying Kim. Her druggie mom. Hurt Kim. Matty leaving. More naked Kim.

Nice!

Thanks, douche! I voiced pushing ahead of him in our patrol.

So you're not going to tell her? Sam questioned, ignoring Paul completely.

I don't need to man, she's got too much going on. It's not important.

Yeah, you explode into a giant wolf, but that's not important. Even Embry was ganging up on me.

I'll tell her when we're married.

Aww, isn't that sweet? I had enough of Paul right now and it was getting late, I turned to leave but Sam's thoughts stopped me. They weren't directed at me, but they were about Kim, and I knew he was right.

It will be harder for him to gain her trust when she knows he's been lying to her.

I bowed out, running to my discarded shorts and shirt at the foot of the forest near Sam's house. I dressed quickly and ran at inhuman speed through the trees that lined the road to my house.

Kim was already there. Matty and my mom were finishing the last touches on his costume for Halloween on Friday and Kim sat near by politely watching.

"I have something I want to talk to you about tonight," I whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek.

"Me too," she whispered back.

"I missed you," I said kissing her other cheek.

"Me too," she sighed looking up at me through her lashes, that look— the look she gave me when we made love. The look she gave me that made me feel, even if it was for a second, that she wanted me as much as I wanted her.

I kissed her in spite of our location, my arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her up so I didn't have to lean in and so that she was crushed completely to my body.

"I love you," I kissed her again even more fervently, knowing full well that my mother and Matty must be watching.

I whispered, I love you, I love you, I love you, into her mouth with no shame but she pulled away when Matty giggled, still holding onto my waist as she whispered something to herself, something that turned my life upside down. The entire floor swept out from below me.

Her whisper was so light, so quiet, no human, no normal person would have heard it, but I did.

She whispered, "me too."