Chapter 12: Kim Angers

Her whisper was so light, so quiet, no human, no normal person would have heard it, but I did.

She whispered, "me too."

Cloud nine. I never really understood that expression 'to be on cloud' nine until that moment, I wanted to twirl her around, make her say it again. I would have given anything to know she felt like I did, but I settled for holding her hand as we made our way into the kitchen. I might have heard her wrong but I could live happily in denial, denial so strong it forced a huge smile to take over my face.

It's hard to say who was smiling hardest in the kitchen, my mom who couldn't help but keep throwing glances in our direction, Matty who hopped around still wearing his miniature Joker costume or me— so cheesy with delight I didn't stop smiling until Kim elbowed me.

My dad's expression on the other hand could only be described as bewildered, his New York Times taking a break as he watched us all with a suspicious air. He was being much more observant than usual, eyeing the handmade bracelet on her hand, my arm which did not unwrap itself from her waist the entire night, and even more disturbing he finally seemed to notice my growth spurt; staring up at my newly acquire 5 inches with a raised eyebrow.

"How was work dad?" I asked trying to distract him from Kim. My father had a tendency to be overly critical and though I knew Kim was beyond perfect, I was sure my dad could find something to point out that he thought was wrong.

"Well, it was dead in the finance department so I spent most of the day with Tony," my dad said still watching Kim.

My dad's the head of accounting for a law firm that defends some of the scummiest people around, his department is pretty boring though and he spends a lot of his time canoodling with the lawyers on the second floor.

Lawyer/client privileged is a joke in the real world, on TV it seems so infinite and powerful, but my father's best friend Tony practically filled my dad to the brim with the inner dealings of Mafia families, sexual offenders, drug dealers and the occasional forger; all of which could be found in the greater Washington area, much to my dismay. Some of these people were ten times worse than vampires. I used to want to be a lawyer, I was a good student, in every subject but math, and I had a healthy respect for the law, but morphing into a giant-wolf sort of changes your plans. How can you be a lawyer when you had to burst into a furball whenever a bloodsucker was near?

"You're a Horn right," my dad asked, referring to her last name as if he was familiar with it. My teeth were clenched, but Kim seem unfazed, she nodded and looked to see that Matty was still enthralled with my mother's dinner preparation; he was becoming quite the chef. "My law firm handled your father's case," he voice was casual but I could see him evaluating her expression.

My father's law firm dealt with criminal law, this was the main reason his law firm held no interest to me. If I became a lawyer I wanted to put bad guys away, not acquire stacks of blood money to help hide their guilt. If Kim's father had used my father's firm he had a lot of money, which he probably obtained from something sketchy—his firm was not used for tax evasion or back parking tickets.

She amazed me with her calm, it was if she had prepared for this. I hadn't, I gawked at him in complete horror, how could he be so insensitive?

"I'm aware," she said bluntly and her tone seemed to shock my dad. I was shaken too, shocked she hadn't socked him in the face already.

We ate in relative silence, both my mother and Matty were so wrapped up in each other that they didn't notice the glares that Kim and I threw at my father. My father for his part didn't seem to notice either. He seemed rather pleased with himself and smug as if he had revealed her as a fraud.

The thing that bothered me the most was the discomfort in her eyes, her face was calm, but her eyes didn't fool me—she wanted out. She wanted away from my house and family, which was the last thing I wanted. My home was my home, the one place that was all mine and I desired nothing more than to share every aspect of my life with her, even the wolf thing, which I was set to tell her tonight. She was my family now.

"Do you see your father often then, Kimberly," my dad said loudly clearing his voice about halfway through dinner.

"No, not at all," she said as if she were discussing the weather. My hands started to shake and I had to let go of my glass of lemonade before I crushed it into sand. I looked away, the pain in her eyes was so strong it gave me the urge to fly across the table and attack him, my own father. What was I capable of now that my world revolved around Kim?

"Yes, well nasty business you wouldn't want to have to—"

"Oh, just spit it out already!" Kim exploded. "No, why don't I save you the time? My sperm donor was a big time drug dealer and an occasional pimp. He's in the Northern Olympic Correctional Facility, where he will be for another six years. Let's get out of here, Matty," she said before thanking my mother in ultra-too-polite mode, pulling Matty out of the room, and leaving me dumbfounded at the kitchen table.

I could care less if her dad were the Green River serial killer, and I would have told her that if I weren't glued to my seat staring at my dad in disbelief. I started to shake but I didn't feel the boiling rage, I was too wrapped up in Kim, I needed to comfort her.

My mother loudly reprimanding him woke me and I ran through the house and out the front door inhaling deeply with the intention of following her scent. The air was contaminated, I coughed painfully as the burning odor filled my nose. I almost had no choice but to phase, the sickly sweet vampire odor triggering a primal instinct.

I ran towards the smell, kicking off my shoes and stripping off my white undershirt, but not bothering to remove my basketball shorts before I exploded. Surprisingly the shorts survived the phase, they were extremely loose on me to begin with and the material was stretchy, so I bounded towards the vamp, a werewolf in blue and white shorts— how very intimidating.

The smell came from the direction of Kim's house and even though I knew I had a duty to the town I couldn't think straight until I was sure Kim was okay first. My mind was not empty and I shared the memory of the scent and my location with Paul who was on the border between Cullen and La Push territory. He smelled it too, but he wasn't the keenest when it came to smell and tracked it too far north. He doubled back with an "I'm on it," and a howl to Embry and Sam.

I took that as an okay to check in on Kim and I rocketed to her house, where I heard a low but furious one-sided discussion going on inside. I phased back and I slid into her window with no preamble. She didn't seem to hear me enter and sighed loudly into her cell phone conversation.

"No, it was seriously terrible!"

I wanted to interrupt to her with an apology for my father, with proclamation of my love at the top of my lungs. I needed her to know that I didn't care for one goddamn second what her dad did in his free time, but she resumed her conversation just as I inhaled preparing for a verbal storm of remorse.

"It's over Crystal, seriously and I'm so over this Jared fantasy I've been living anyways, him and his cookie-cutter holier-than-thou family. I just wish he would leave me alone, he gets so creepy sometimes." I was out of her window and down the road before she finished her sentence but no matter how fast I was I could still hear her words. They filled all of my thoughts even as I met with Sam and went through the routine of cornering a black haired male vampire spotted by Embry riding the line between Leech Land and La Push.

We didn't catch him, or the other vamp in the area although we smelt it, female by the flavor of her, probably Mr. Black-hair's mate. Tssh, even bloodsucker's get mates and I get a cosmically bound to a girl who was half stone.

I had tried, and tried and begged and completely humiliated myself in pursuit of Kim and it had no affect on her. I was simple sexual gratification and at best a shoulder to cry on. And while I wanted to be whatever she wanted me to be, knowing that was all she equated me to made me feel cold inside.

Naw man, I'm sure she loves you dude, you're a great guy. Paul encouraged, and I didn't argue I just finished the rounds.

At the end of the night I resumed my vigil in the tree next to her home, because even if she didn't want me around, I would follow Kim at a distance till the day I die.

Wednesday

*:*

Woke up in a tree, literally and ran home, avoiding my mom at all cost. She had an eerie ability to read and evaluate my moods, and I wasn't really ready to talk about how the love of my life actually didn't want to be around.

I ventured over her house to pick her up for school, but she was already gone, picked up by her friend Crystal who threw evil glares at me throughout the day. I didn't understand the meaning behind it, but I guessed it had something to do with the fact that I had two wonderful months with Kim where Crystal was terribly neglected.

Kim on the other hand didn't look at me at all in class, which left me free to examine her, but also left me feeling like my nerves had been severed, sitting numbly wondering exactly where I went wrong.

*:*

Thursday

*:*

I woke up on the roof of her house, deeply inhaling her scent for well over five minutes before I got the strength to leave. I wasn't hungry, more than twenty-four hours without real contact with Kim was making me sick so I went home and showered jumping out of my window to avoid my mother and the huge pile of food I could smell her preparing.

I didn't bother going around Kim's to pick her up, I knew she wasn't going to be there, but when I got to school the silence was too much and I decided to try pretending like nothing was wrong, grabbing her hand as she headed to class.

She gave me a strained look before launching into a speech, which was like a watered-down polite version of the one I overheard; the jist of it being we didn't really match and she wasn't interested in dating anyone right now. But I could read easily between those lines, where I saw it plastered in large red letters "I don't want to be with you, Jared so stop being creepy and leave me alone."

*:*

Friday

*:*

I slept in the forest after having run myself ragged. The two leeches decided to continue towing the line in La Push, and I spent the night patrolling. The red head was particularly tricky and she ran us around town for hours before eventually giving up and heading north. I worked at keeping my mind empty as I ran, not keen on the idea of letting the guys know I had been dumped.

I went through school in a exhausted undernourished haze, and ate dinner with my suspicious mother who I guessed was too ashamed of my father to interrogate me about the situation—I was grateful. I plunged myself into my studies, something I had not done since I had met Kim, but her face continued to creep into all of my thoughts until even Queen Mary looked like exact copy of Kim.

*:*

Saturday

*:*

The time away from her was becoming unbearable and I stayed in bed the entire day, a huge useless werewolf lump until I heard my patrol call from Sam. The red head was alone and still we could not catch her. She had a real talent for evasion, and I ran with Embry and Sam until Paul came to excuse me.

I couldn't stand not being near Kim, so I gave in, climbing into her window and curling up on the floor closest to her bed. She had been crying, I could smell the residue of the salty secretions on her cheek where I boldly stole a kiss before I leaped out the window at sunrise. I wondered coldly who she would have left after she pushed everyone who loved her away.

*:*

Sunday

*:*

I decided to push my luck further, continuing my tradition of spending Sunday with Matty, while Kim went to work. Matty was visibly upset at first about our "break-up", but eventually I had him laughing it off; we were never dating anyways.

I left very early to make sure she didn't catch me in the act of invading her space. She made it more than clear she wanted me at a distance and for once since this whole imprinting thing, I took her request to heart. I returned home after patrol and slept in my own bed for the first time in a very long time.

*:*

Monday

*:*

Embry started to stray from the pack once he returned to school, trying to resume a normal life with his friends which I could respect, but with only Paul as company at a school filled with Kim's scent I was drowning.

I left after lunch, deciding the weekend had been too short to consider sufficient. Leah called me, something she hadn't done in a long time and the two of us hung out at her mom house.

Her mom Sue, was my mother's third cousin or something like that so I didn't consider it like cheating on Kim more like hanging out with family, although I had to admit I did once have a thing for Leah.

It was sort of nice to be away from wolf duty and the drowning feeling of loss over Kim, but at the same time horrible because I saw that something was changing in Leah. She was finally starting to get over the trauma of losing Sam to Emily, she was joking again and smiling. I couldn't though, I would never get over her. I would always want Kim. I was bound to her forever, and even though she didn't want me I couldn't bring myself to wish the bind broken—where would I even be? Who would I be?

*:*

Tuesday

*:*

Halloween. I was given permission (asked for through my mother), to pick up Matty after school for a quick dinner before he went Trick-or-treating with Kim. I had to avoid looking her in the eye when she came to round him up, afraid I would cry and embarrass myself, but she ruined the façade.

"So, what you can't even look at me now?" She asked her voice was hurt.

I wasn't sure why it upset her, but it upset me that I upset her so I looked up. The pain in her eyes brought tears to the surface and I had to look away again. She huffed and even though Matty was watching I faced her again allowing the single tear to trail down my face.

"You don't want me to look at you," I felt defensive, how could she be so cruel? Breaking me down in front of Matty.

"Oh yeah, because you're just dying to be with me," she said sarcastically which confused me, because yeah, I was nearlydying to be with her— she had to realize that, right?

"Yeah, I am. Kim you said you didn't want me, so I backed off. Now you're mad I won't look at you? I'm sorry but it hurts, okay? I don't want to be creepy or anything but—"

"Jared, you were the one who—" I wasn't going to let her finish, I had been brooding on this for a week and with no one to talk to about it I was on the brink.

"Who what? I was nothing but nice to you ever! I would have done anything you asked me to do! I completely accepted every aspect of your life and you're—"

"Matty, go inside and talk to Mrs. Cameron for a second please," she said calmly and I knew then that I crossed a line, no one screamed at Kim. Matty looked at me with big eyes and did as he was told.

"My ass you accepted my life! I saw your face Jared, when you found out about my dad! I saw your fucking face, you were disgusted! You wanted me, but you didn't know me! And who said you had to accept anything?"

"That's not you, that's your parents, I don't care what your parents do, I care about you and you just—"

"But that is me, Jared. Don't you see that's part of me and my life!"

"It doesn't have to be. Kim you're so much better than that, you could—"

"What?"

"What what?" I had lost myself in the screaming, I really didn't know what she was talking about.

"Ugh! I can't talk to you," she fumed. In my entire time knowing her I had never been so eager to get away, but still words that I had kept so tightly bottled inside kept oozing past my lips like a shaken bottle of coca-cola.

"You don't talk to me! You scream and rant and bullshit and hide things—and when you need something you call me! I tried so hard to make you feel something for me, anything and to make your life a little easier but you—"

"I don't need you Jared! I don't need anyone I was fine before you came along and I'll be just damn fine when you finally stop fucking trying to make me into something I'm not. I'm not turning into some clone of your mom, some Betty-fucking-Crocker-mindless-homemaker—" And that was it, no matter how much I loved her, how quickly I would have given my life for her I was done. Because in this world there is only one person who always has your back and will always love you unconditionally and you just don't talk about someone's mom.

"Yeah, you don't need me. Great. I'm glad to hear that," I said dryly, opening the door to find Matty eavesdropping unabashedly. He examined me very carefully before his head dropped defeated.

He walked past me into the night with an empty pillowcase ready for filling and I bounded through the house to my room wondering for the first time if imprinting had an expiration date.