Chapter 15: Kim Flirts

I woke up the next morning with a throbbing headache, apparently werewolves no longer had to worry about the common cold, but were still afflicted with the bitch-ass malady of a hangovers. I didn't harp on it though because my head was also filled with two very distinct thoughts.

One: Kim knew I was a werewolf, or a wolf-man, I didn't care what she wanted to call it as long as it was finally off my back.

And two: even though she knew this, she was more worried about my ill-fated makeout session then the fact that I burst into a horse sized mammal at will.

What did this mean? I wasn't a hundred percent sure but a huge, still obsessively in love part of me was doing the conga, because she was jealous, there was no other explanation for it. And who was I kidding, no matter how much I tried to pretend we were through and that I was going to carry on with my life like nothing happened, Kim was my life, to deny that was blasphemy and would have also required the constant influence of marijuana.

I also knew though that even if part of her wanted me, I had done everything I could, there wasn't nothing else I had to show her, all of my cards were on the table.

"Jared! Kim's here and leaving," my father called and I was out of my bed and down the hall before I could even take notice of my clothes, or lack of. I had fallen asleep in a pair of black boxer briefs, the premier in underwear, also known as the best of both worlds, the king of underpants!

She looked terrible, beautiful yes, as always, but terrible. She was pale and I hadn't noticed it the night before (her body covered in a coat), but she was thinner, at least ten pounds thinner. Her body was still, well banging, but it wasn't exactly the picture of health and I liked that she was healthy.

She was still processing the night's alcohol and her natural aroma had a bitter tinge. When I finally took in her eyes, which were scanning my body in an attempt at nonchalance, I realized they were red and puffy, she had been crying.

She was distressed, I could see it in her stance, the way her shoulder sagged. I also knew from Kim fact #97 (Kim is not a morning person) that she wouldn't have been here at 9am unless there was a problem. She was upset and she needed me. She had come to me.

"Ahem hem hmm, uh—Jared… do you mind putting on clothing," she asked her eyes dropping to my package and then back up to my face, obviously flustered. I don't know what came over me, I guess the mornings revelations were still with me and I wanted to test the waters, but I leaned forward, pinning her against the corridor wall.

"Why Kim? You've seen it all before," I breathed in her ear. She leaned closer to me as if to kiss me, and I could tell by her expression it was involuntary.

"Jared, please," she begged her breathing growing ragged.

I put my hand on her waist relishing in the effect I had on her. So she didn't love me yet, but she did at least want me, she was at least attracted to me by the sounds of her erratic heart and that was a start.

"Please what, Kim?" Her hands went up to stop me from closing the last six inches between us, resting above my nipples, I looked down them and raised my eyebrows theatrically.

"Please get your dog breath under control," she said her heartbeat still racing as I pressed against her.

I chuckled but slipped in the bathroom, washed my face and teeth and threw on clothes in under two minutes, returning to her Listerine fresh and ready for the kissing I had missed so much.

When I came back though she was in the middle of piling bags and boxes in the corner of my sitting room.

"What's going on," I asked evaluating the pile.

"Jared, I need um… some help again, I mean, if you wouldn't mind. You're mom said it was okay," she was embarrassed and I hated that she didn't feel comfortable with me, that she didn't know I would do anything for her.

She wasn't looking me in the eyes anymore and my entire body was begging her to, I needed to see her eyes, I was never sure what was going on with her if I didn't see them.

"Why do you always look at me like that," she said finally glancing up at me.

"Like what?" I honestly had no idea how I looked when I saw her, but I could venture to guess it was happy.

"Like I'm a painting or something… I don't know, never mind I—"

"Because you're beautiful," I answered honestly, she sighed.

"I wish you wouldn't do that."

"Do what?" I asked innocently, taking a long stride to be closer to her.

"Compliment me. This would be much easier for me if you—"

"What would be easier for you?" I asked genuinely confused this time.

"Being away from you," she breathed so lightly I wasn't sure I heard her right until her heart started to spike.

"Then why are you doing it, Kim. If you want me all you have to do it ask," I joked brushing her cheek.

"Since when do I have to ask? You used to just follow me," she whispered and I didn't feel like joking anymore.

"Do you want me to follow you?" I asked getting as close to her as I dared, her nose was inches from mine. The connection, the pull to her was still so strong no matter how much I imagined them gone, cut forever, I knew it wasn't true, I was still as much hers now as I was last week and the week before.

"You smell so good," she whispered, her breath tickling my neck.

"Kim. Do you miss me?" That was what I really needed to know. The million dollar question cuz no matter what else she said if she admitted to missing me I knew it was more than flesh she was after.

"Are you wearing cologne?" Kim asked her voice rising unnaturally.

"No. Kim, why aren't you answering me?"

"Why are you asking me stupid questions?"

"I just want to know if you miss me. I miss you, I think about you all day," I breathed less than an inch from her ear.

"Nothing has changed, Jared. You don't understand me, you can't handle—"

"Then teach me, Kim," I said, firmly gripping her waist. She examined my hand, scrutinizing the way I was holding her.

"Ugh! Jared, can we not do this convo again, I don't miss you. I need your help today and I won't bother you or your new girlfriend again."

The frustration mixed with the hungover and the overwhelming need for her boiled over. I punched the wall behind her head, shattering it without wanting to. I stared at it in horror, Kim cowering, covering her head. She was afraid, afraid of me.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I said pulling my hand out of the wall.

"It's fine," she squeaked, dodging under my arm and scampering to the door.

"No it's not. I-I don't know what I'm doing. I'm so sorry," I said walking towards her, her hand automatically went to the door knob.

"Yeah, I know," she said it was okay, but her hand was still on the knob and I felt even worse. I had fucked up again, this whole time I had been desperately trying to gain her trust and I threw a tantrum at the worst possible time. What's worse I could have hurt her!

"Kim, I wouldn't hurt you, you have to know that," She looked at me for a long time, releasing the door and taking a step towards me.

"I know, you just scared me. You shouldn't be able to punch through walls," her hand rested on mine and I relaxed instantly.

"I'm a wolf-man, remember?"

"So that was real?" She asked stepping closer still.

"Yeah."

"And I actually said those things to you?" She said blushing hard.

"Yeah," I said tracing my finger over the height of her reddening cheek.

"Um, yeah… lesson in alcohol control I guess."

"Kim."

"Yes?" She said with a smirk.

"Are you scared of me?"

"No," she answered automatically.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes," she said even faster and my heart swelled.

"Do you like me?" I was feeling bold.

"Jared."

"Kim."

Her face was mere centimeters from my face. She was staring me straight in the eye, her beautiful eyelashes kissing her cheeks as she blinked. She leaned into me her hand resting on my cheek, her eyes—

"Kim, honey have you eaten yet?" My mom asked walking in the room.

Her eyes darted between us, widened and she rounded on her heels, calling "there's food if you're hungry," as she left the room again.

And then the moment was gone. She went back out the door and I followed, stepping on the snow with my bare feet, feeling it melt beneath me.

"I've got a few more boxes, they just have to stay here until tomorrow and I'll be out of your way," she said opening the back of Crystal's van. I rushed forward stacking the three small boxes and sprinting back in the house.

"You must be cold," she said rubbing my bare arms with her little hands as she re-entered my house.

"I'm hot," I said flatly.

"And so modest too," she countered.

I liked joking with her. I missed it, our banter that could go on for hours with nothing really being said, but leaving my cheeks burning from exertion.

"I'm hundred and ten degrees constantly, it's a wolf thing."

"Oh," she touched my forehead. She was leaning in to me again, it was almost as if she couldn't help herself and I wondered if this was a double sided connection and she was just better at self-control. Her perfect arched lips were poking up, tempting me.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Jared," she hissed, turning away from me.

"Kim."

"You hurt my feelings," she said in a small voice, speaking into her chest.

"How?" This had to be some sort of joke, considering she didn't seem to think I had feelings at all.

"Jared, you said—you said you wanted more, more than sex. I thought when I let you go you would find some sweet girl and it would all be worth it, you would be happy. I didn't think you were just going to go around and start fondling the first slut you—"

"Kim, that's not fair," I put my hand under her chin.

Her hard hazel eyes melted, and her heartbeat sped as she leaned in for a kiss for the third time today. I wasn't going to let this one pass, I crashed my lips on her just as her cell rang out loudly. I didn't let her pull back, kissing her roughly through three rings before she pulled away, giggling as she answered the call.

"Yeah?... Oh shit, that was fast. Don't let her in okay. Tell her you're going to call the police, that'll scare her, I'll be there in five."

"What happened?"

"I packed Matty's thing, he's leaving tomorrow night, but my mom isn't too happy about it," she said biting her lip.

"Wait. She didn't know?"

"No. I didn't want to tell her so she wouldn't fuck it up. His aunt's really nice, Jared. Her husband is really cool too, I'm doing the right thing for him," she said her voice cracking.

"I know, I know Kim, but what's she going to do when you go back there? How do you plan to live with your mom when she wants to kill you?" I asked grabbing her wrist.

"Boxes are Matty's and the garbage bags are mine. I'm leaving tonight."

"Leaving?"

"Yeah, for a while, until I can get my own place."

"Where are you going?" I asked, my voice was so childlike it didn't sound like me.

"Somewhere free," she dodged the question.

"Kim, don't do this to me. I need to know you're okay, I need you by me, safe."

"Mindy's family has a house in Forks. It used to belong to her gran, she died last month and they haven't had a chance to clear it out to sell it yet Look I have to go before my mom bust down Crystal's door," she said ignoring me and finally making her way out the door. I followed her.

"I'm coming," I called after her. She turned around, examined me and smiled.

"Shoes, Jared, shoes," she said hopping in her car. I ran back inside, throwing on sneakers and a pull over for good measure, closing the door behind me and getting in the passenger side.

I was enthralled with how wild she drove for someone who should worry about their mortality. She was a demon on the road, just like she was in bed.

When we got to Crystal's the police were already there. Apparently Crystal the ditz didn't realize the police were obviously supposed to be an idle threat.

"SHIT!" Kim hissed, there were two reservation officers struggling with her strung out mom who was thrashing about in a fevered attempt to escape them. Kim dashed out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition.

"It's okay, she's just a little drunk. I'll take her home officer Green," she said making her way for the taller of the two La Push rent-a-cops, she obviously knew him.

"Sorry Kim-bean, not this time, even if Miss Varn didn't want to press charges for the door she has some paraphernalia with residue," he said his eyes roving over Kim's body for longer than necessary, I wanted to pulled his eyes of his head for obviously violating her with his mind.

"This is the second time this year babe," I wanted to kill him. Kim-bean and babe? I could rip out his intestines, the growl passed my lips before I could stop it, but it was small and went unnoticed.

Kim put on her best flirting voice, pouting as she said, "Oh, Leon, why can't we just get a write-up, she doesn't need to—"

"She's going to in for booking, we can't keep letting it by, Kim-bean," and with that they were cuffing her.

"When can I pick her up?" Kim said returning to her not so sunny self.

"You're gunna have to go through the bail bonds," the shorter of the two said pushing Kim's mom in car and driving off.

"Shit! Fuck! Goddamn cock suckers!" She screamed stomping her little booted feet.

She rounded on Crystal, "I can't believe you put my mom in jail!"

"She was—" Crystal fell silent realizing I was standing there. "can we take this inside?" She asked obviously implying for me to stay put.

"What's Jared doing here?" Crystal demanded, when they were safely inside. I could still hear them even though they were in the kitchen, one of the awesomest side-effects of wolfness.

"I didn't know where else to go," Kim said sadly.

"UGH! Kim!"

"I know, I know. Shut up, it doesn't matter God, this is so embarrassing," Kim said and though I couldn't see her I could just imagine her slumping shoulder as she said this.

"Why do you even care what Jared thinks?"

"I don't," Kim said quickly.

"You do! You still care what he thinks even if he's cheating on you," Crystal said in disgust.

"He's not cheating on me, I broke it off with him, so drop it… Look, we need to get Matty out of here now, last time they locked her up the police came for him, and he was with child protective services for a week."

"Okay, I'll call gran," Crystal said running to the other corner of the house as Kim came into view holding her cell phone.

"Hey Jennifer. We had some problems with mom," she paused, and I grabbed her hand squeezing in lightly.

"No, Matty's fine, but mom's in jail and we need to get him out of here before— Yeah exactly. We're just going to drive him up there, save you the trip… I'm fine, thanks. Okay, see you in a few hours," she said flipping her phone closed.

She dropped my hand and backed away, and I stepped forward to close the distance again.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think—"

"Why are you apologizing?" I asked moving to grab her hand again, she crossed it in front of her chest, which I had forgotten were so perfect.

"Because I promised I wouldn't get you mixed up in my shit again," she said with a huff and I stepped even closer, cornering her and pulling her to me. She was rigid for a moment and then she latched on to me so tight that her fingernails dug into my neck.

"So what's the plan, beautiful," her heartbeat sped when I said that and I kissed the top of her head and temple. I loved being able to touch her again, but I wasn't sure how long it would last.

"No plan. Matty's coming back now, we have to pick up his shit from your place, you can say goodbye if you want and I'll drop him off."

"And your mom?"

"Will have to stay in the holding cell till they get tired of her, cuz I don't have cash, like any at all." I did, and I would have happily given it all to Kim, every fucking cent, but not her mom, she could rot in jail forever for all I cared.

"Are you still leaving?" I asked my throat clenching.

"I guess not. She'll be in there for a few days, unless they find something else on her when they do a full search, and then she would be in there longer. Either way they will call me before she's released, so I don't have to worry about her just yet," she was so tough, I loved when she spoke like that, my baby really could take on anything.

"Stay with us Kim. I love you," it had been too long since I said that.

"Jared, I—"

"BRRR!" The car horn blared and I kicked the ground making small pebbles fly all around me. Our timing was awful.

"Jared!" Matty ran to me, attaching himself to my leg.

"I thought I was never going to see you again!" He screamed and I picked him up, snuggling him close to my chest.

"Me too," I admit.

"You're still going to come visit me right? Promise?"

"Triple promise," I said rubbing his back. Kim shuffled around us uncomfortably, putting her hand on his back and then my hands and then pacing again.

After a little while she spoke, her voice was sharp and unnatural.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road." We piled into her car and I sat in the back with Matty, reliving the moments before the car horn.

Jared I— Jared I— Jared I—

Jared I love you?

Jared I apologize?

Jared I miss you?

Jared I want to fuck you until the world ends or we both die of malnutrition?

All of those would have been enough for me right now.

When the car was packed up with all of his stuff she turned to me.

"Ugh! I guess waking you up at 9am on a Saturday morning was sort of unnecessary. Sorry," she said pushing her hair behind her ears.

"Why is it so easy for you to say sorry for things that don't matter, but for everything else you—"

"Are you waiting for an apology?" She asked crossing her arms indignantly.

"Well, I'm not holding my breath but, I was hoping, since I apologized for last night you would—"

"I'm not apologizing for Jeremy Sullan because A, I knew him before you, B we aren't dating Jared, and C you were dry humping a sophomore!"

"Actually, I was hoping you would apologize for the last two weeks of torture and also maybe admit you missed me, that would be nice," I said honestly.

"I'm sure it would be. Say bye Matty," she called shaking her head as she got back in the van.

"No, I'm going with you," I said making to get in the van, she hopped out and stopped me.

"Jared, I need to do this alone."

"Goddammit, Kim! Why do you have to make everything harder on yourself?" Every nerve in my body was on end, she had awaken every powerful emotion in me within the two hours since I had rolled out of bed.

"Jared, I'm sorry if I got your hopes up but today doesn't change anything between—"

"The hell it doesn't! You've been dying to kiss me all day," I said pressing her against the door, placing my hands on either side of her face locking her in.

"Jared, please. I don't have the time or energy to keep doing this. Find Veronica, you obviously liked her, so soft and breakable," she said in a mocking tone.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I said throwing my hands in the air.

"It doesn't even matter. Whatever, Jared. I gotta go," and with that she was gone.

I waved goodbye to a crying Matty and went back inside, eating more food than any man, wolf or beast should. When there was nothing left, I went to Paul. He had been right all along, Kim was impossible. Positively fucking impossible and I wasn't going to try anymore, I tried and tried and tried and nothing came of it.

Maybe one day she would decide she wanted me, but I wasn't going to sit around waiting for it. Kim was prone to cutting off her own nose to spite her face and it was more likely she would kill me then admit that maybe, just maybe she missed me... or god forbid had actual feelings for me.