Chapter 19: Kim Professes

"Oh god, Jared! Faster, faster!" Kim's demands were met with my fevered compliance, slamming her harder against the bed. We hadn't gotten out of her bed for longer than four hours at a time during the first four days of break. Leaving to refuel, shower and occasionally patrol with Embry and Sam, during which time Kim was free to rest or clean and pack. She was moving out of her house, which we had been using as a loveshack, and into her new apartment soon… well as soon as it was ready. She had already taken most of her things and stored them in my basement but now that she had time she was packing up everything she could find use for.

"Ah! Ah! I'm cumming," she announced pushing up against me. "Don't stop, shit!"

BRRINNNG! BRRRINNNG!

Her cell phone had the most annoying ringer in the world and it promptly sucked out any form of sexiness out of the room.

"Fuck!" she howled, going limp under me and reaching for the phone on her nightstand.

"Yeah," her answer was an obvious sign to anyone calling that the message better be brief and important.

"Hello, Ms. Horn? This is chief Swan calling from Forks, we're releasing your mother in the hour. Would you be able to pick her up or does she need an escort?" he asked briskly.

"I don't have a car Charlie and I don't think she'd be too pleased to see me right now," she said a bit more pleasantly.

"Miss Horn, you know if your mother is hurting you in any—"

"Everything is okay over here, chief Swan," she promised, rolling her eyes and motioning for me to get off of her.

She hung up and climbed out of bed, ignoring my moans as I examined the fresh bruise on her arm. We had been extremely… enthusiastic in our love making in the last four days, and the results were sometimes bad for Kim who was a third my weight and more than a foot shorter than me.

"I'm sorry, Kim."

"Shut up, Jared. It's okay, okay? You keep doing that—that feeling guilty for everything shit. I want to be with you. I know the risk, I—"

"I don't deserve you."

"Oh god, stop being melodramatic! Are you going to help me get my shit out of here or what?" She asked looking down at all of the bags and boxes.

I shot out of the bed putting on a pair of cut-offs and a t-shirt, grabbing as many bags and boxes as I could fit in my hands, which turned out to be quite a few.

She picked up the only remaining box and opened the door for me, letting me go out first. My car wasn't there because I ran here last night after patrol, so we walked the eight blocks to my house, Kim humming with excitement next to me.

My mom had invited Kim to stay with us when he mother was released, while she waited for her apartment to be finished, and to my surprise Kim had agreed.

The two of them had gotten pretty close, a slightly frightening idea, considering the power they had over me. I carried everything to to my room, placing them by the door before collapsing on the bed.

"So I turn eighteen on Friday," she said breaking the silence.

"Christmas Eve? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm telling you now," she said giggling.

"What do you want? I mean, I don't know what you would want."

"I don't want anything. I never get birthday presents, don't start a disappointing tradition," she said nestling her head between my pecks.

"You don't get birthday presents?" I had heard a lot of fucked up things in my life, but this was almost unbelievable. How could a mom not celebrate the birth of their child?

"My birthday is Christmas Eve, when my mom does bother giving me a present it's one combined birthday/Christmas present and that doesn't count," she said with a note of finality.

My birthday was in September, so I never really thought about what it'd be like to have a birthday around Christmas, but now that I did, I saw how bad that must suck. They are totally two different holidays, combining them did not work and should not work in anyone's world. You couldn't put Easter and Halloween together, so why try birthdays and Christmas?

"You're so right. So tell me what you want so I can get you multiple presents you would actually enjoy," I didn't want to ask. I wished that I could just magically know what she wanted. It was not at all romantic to have to ask, almost as bad as giving cash or gift cards. I mean, I knew a lot of things about Kim, from her pant and shoe size (both 8) down to what kind of underwear she like (cotton boy-cut), but Kim was not a materialistic girl, and she never seemed to want anything.

"I'm serious, I don't want anything. I just want to be with you, and don't tell your mom okay? She'd flit around making a big deal out of it, and she's already busy with Christmas plans," she said kissing me. I couldn't deny her my company, but I also couldn't agree to not give her a gift. I had no idea what I'd get her, but I had to give her something.

She yawned, stretching out on the bed and pulling the collar of my shirt till I was lying with her. It was 3pm and we had spent the last 12 hours exploring a plethora of new positions and locations. She curled up into me, dozing off quickly as I battled with my eyes, trying to keep them open so I could examine her in peace. I lost…

Ding Dong. Ding Dong.

I wasn't sure what time it was, but all of the light from the window had faded. She shuffled next to me using my chest as a springboard to sit up. Kim groaned, picking up the alarm and trying to examine it in the darkness. It was 7:02pm, but I was sure she couldn't see that through the darkness.

"Kim, honey! You have a visitor," my mom called through the house. Kim groaned again standing; I followed her down the stairs, sensing a new scent.

I got worried so I ran down— passing her so I was in front, she giggled placing her hand on my shoulders as I took the last few steps. It was her mother; her scent was fresh, different now that it wasn't tainted with rum and meth. My mom stood next to her uncomfortably shifting from foot to foot.

"Hi, mom," Kim sighed from behind me, trying to push past me. "It's okay, Jared, I'm just going to take her for a walk so we can talk."

"Kim, you—"

She cut me off, squeezing through the tight space between me and the wall. "It's okay, Jared," she whispered. My mom stood aside, allowing them to pass. I made my way down the hall, going to the window to watch and listen to them.

"Kim, baby look. I've been thinking these last few days. You have to get Matty back, honey. We have to work on our family," Holly said grabbing on to Kim's sweater.

"Mom, no. He's happy there, okay? He's safe and you can see him. Jenny says if you're clean you can see him on the weekends. I will drive you there myself, promise," Kim said calmly, but her heartbeat was thumping fast.

"Jenny can't tell me when and where I can see my baby, Kim! He's my fucking son! How dare you—"

"Don't go screaming bullshit at me! You—" her mother pushed her against the fence.

"Look you little bitch, he's my son!" I was out the door and between them too fast to be humanly possible, but I didn't care.

"Jared, stay out of this," Kim said waving me away. I stood within grabbing distance, allowing myself half a second reaction time to remove Holly if she tried to attack again.

"Jared, I don't want you here okay?" Kim said giving me a blazing look. I complied walking back up the stairs, but standing just on the other side of the door, watching from a crack in the door. I would have to hurt her if she touched her again, I didn't really care if she was a woman, right now she was as good as a leech.

"I have every fucking right to say what happens to my brother! You are way too fucked up to be around him. You should be thanking me for not handing him over to the state," Kim said straightening herself out and turning so she was not backed into the corner, it made me feel better.

"You little cunt! I have an illness and you—"

"Illness my ass! You have the 'I'm-a-selfish-bitch' disease and—" Holly smacked her and Kim smacked her back before I could get between them. My mom was between us in seconds.

"Holly, you need to get out of here before I call Charlie back," my mom said coldly. She grabbed Kim, pulling her to her side. I took two steps back as I started to shake and my mother lovingly examined Kim's hand. She had hit her pretty hard, I was proud but worried.

"I'm fine Jared, calm down," she said turning back to her mom. "Jenny is ready to fight for our custody through the court, if you want to play it that way. If you're smart you'll take her up on her offer and see him on the weekends, that's the best you're gunna get if a judge sees you," Kim called to her mother who was already half way down the road.

Once we got inside Kim exhaled loudly, letting go of my mother and covering her face. "I'm so sorry. This is really embarrassing, I—"

"Oh shut it, come on and give me a hug. That had to be hard for you," my mom said hugging Kim tight. Kim let her, wrapping her thin arms around my mom's waist.

"You hungry? You two slept through dinner. I made stew, it'll go good with a big glass of wine, I think we could all use one right now. And Jared, calm down. She's fine, it'll take a lot more than that to break our girl, am I right?" She asked Kim, both of them turning to see me frozen still with shock.

Smacked. She smacked MY Kim. The rage was still building.

"Come on wolf-man, let's eat. I'm starving," Kim said pulling me inside kissing my palm before lacing her fingers through mine. I could barely eat. I'd failed her.

My purpose on this earth, protect people from leeches and Kim from everything. In the last few months I've abandoned her, quit on her, cheated on her, bruised her and now I allowed her someone to hit her, the only thing I should have easily been able to prevent. I was a failure.

I unenthusiastically ate half my trout of stew, watching Kim chat and drink with my mom, who touched and laughed with her like old friends.

"So when I met Jared's father John the first time I was sixteen and I was a lot like you. I was not the sweetest sixteen, I was a wild thing," my mother said pouring herself another glass of Arbor Mist which tasted like ass to me but all housewives and Kim seem to enjoy.

"No way! You weren't baking cookies for the community bake sale?" Kim asked gently brushing my hand.

"Hell no! You want to hear the story of how I really met his father?" She asked conspiratorially.

"What do you mean 'the real story'? You and dad met at school," I said pushing my half eaten stewaside.

"Yeah well, that's not a lie exactly, just not the entire truth," she said giggling.

"Oh man, that sounds like the beginning to a truly epic tale, Mrs. Cameron," Kim said rubbing her hands together with glee.

"Oh Kim, don't call me that. It reminds me of Jared's grandmother. She was an evil woman… may she rest in peace," she added out of habit. "Call me Cindy."

"Okay, Cindy. Dish! How'd you meet the pops?"

"Well, I met him the school parking lot," my mom said eyeing me. I started fidgeting remembering my parking lot history with Kim.

"Sounds dirty," Kim said placing her hand on my knee under the table, running it upward like she had in the car the first day we met, only this time I wasn't hard, just mortified.

"Actually it wasn't. I was trying to hotwire his car for a joy ride," my mom said covering her mouth as if she just swore. OH MY GOD!

"Oh my god!"

"Yeah."

"What's he do? He seems like such a tight ass—no offense or anything," Kim added quickly. My mom giggled.

"Oh god, he was so much worse back then. So he calls out to me, 'excuse me Miss that's my car'. And I have no idea what to do, I didn't want to get suspended again or I was in deep shit, so I turned to him and I gave him my best batty eyes. I was hot shit back then you know—and I said 'well are you going to give me a ride or what?' He had no clue what to say, just stood there staring, so I went for it, I dug in his pockets took out his keys and said 'hop in cutie'. It was one of my finer moments," she finished with a flourish, taking the last gulp of her sickly pink wine concoction.

"That's just, wow! I can almost see it now," Kim said making an arm movement that looked like superman trying to blast away but I guessed was her way of showing her apparent ability to look into my mother's seedy past. "That's insane!"

"I know. He had no idea what to do with me. He was such a momma's boy," my mom said winking at me.

"Like Jared?"

"Much worse," they both cackled maniacally and I sat there looking like an idiot with my mouth open.

"Aww, I didn't mean it in a bad way, Jared," Kim said caressing my face. I hated how calm she could make me without even trying, it was too much power for one tiny woman.

"Yeah. I love that you're my special little man, Jare-bear," my mom said patting my knee. And again I was the biggest pussy bitch on the block. What does a wolf have to do for some respect around here? Jare-bear? Jare-bear!

Kim snickered, but when she saw my face she turned it into an unconvincing cough.

"So how did you two end up married?" Kim asked a question even I was now curious about. If my mom was a trained car thief, how'd she end up with a momma's boy like me?

"I made him work for it. I drove him crazy, and that was just to be my friend. I had a boyfriend already. Michael Dorsey. He was hot, tough guy type, major bad boy. He beat the living hell out of John for no good reason and I felt so bad about it that I kissed him because I knew he liked me. And I ended up liking the kiss more than I thought I would. It earned him another ass whooping from Michael though, but he says it was worth it."

"That's so sweet," Kim squealed. The sentiment was not shared.

"Yeah, real sweet. You were with someone else?" I asked huffing.

"Yes."

"How is that romantic?" I was completely lost.

"It worked with me and you," Kim said grabbing my hand. I had no idea what she was talking about.

"What are you talking about?"

"I was kinda dating Jeremy Sullan, when we got together. You know that right?" She asked looking at me confused.

"You were dating girl-pants?" I couldn't hide the disgust in my voice, but then I wasn't really trying.

"They're not girl-pants. They're just really tight boy pants," she said defensively. "And he's a really cool guy."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you knew. You're friends with Leah, she knows everyone's business," Kim said calmly.

"Uh! How long were you two—no. I don't want to know," I said standing and heading out the room.

"Aww, Jare-bear!" She called, following me out the front door. I was mad but it was cold and she wasn't wearing a coat, so I stepped back inside and slung a jacket on her on my back, letting her use me arm as a giant heating pad as we strolled down the street.

"Don't call me that," I spat. I was such a joke.

"Jared. Stop it. I'm not going to apologize for dating before you even realized I was alive. He was really nice to me. A little self absorbed, but he was good and he never pressured me or treated me like I was a walking pussy. But it's over now, you know that." Was she joking?

"But he's the first person you turned to when we broke up."

"We weren't serious! It wasn't a big deal! And I didn't turn to anyone. We talk in school and we text sometimes. He asked me if I wanted to go to his cousin's party and I went, that was the first time we hung out since we started… seeing each other I guess," she said this like question and it made me even more upset.

Seeing each other? I guess? What was there to guess? She was mine, my girlfriend, she had to know that now.

"Not a big deal? You text? TEXT? Like what- kissy faces and I miss yous? Ugh! And is that what you guys do when you hang out, make out and-and touch inappropriately?" She sighed planting herself in my path so I couldn't walk anymore.

"Jared. I love you. I know I'm not good at showing it but I'm trying. I really am. You just have to trust me on this," she pulled me down to her kissing my softly at first, then opening her mouth slightly, the warm breath inviting me in. Again with the emotion control, I went from pissed to horny in a matter of seconds.

"Let's go to the community center," she said pulling away and dragging me east towards the building. I let her drag me, trying to remember if I was supposed to be on patrol duty tonight. When we got to the building she hopped on my back pressing herself tighter to me than necessary. It had snowed recently, and the collected snowflakes glittered under the reflection of the street light so that everything sparkled like a vamp in the sun.

"Jaaared," she whined, stomping her feet. "Say something!"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know. You're making me nervous."

"I just. You make me feel… self conscious I guess," I wasn't really sure how to word it. How it felt being with the most beautiful, amazing woman and not being able to do anything for her, to make myself something she needed in her life like I needed her? She laughed, and not a chuckle or a snigger a full out laugh, not exactly what I needed at the moment.

"Jared, that's crazy," she said dusting off the lawn chair and plopping down. I followed, sitting directly on the snow dusted lawn chair, my body heat would quickly evaporate the dampness on my cut-offs.

"Okay," I sighed not looking up at her.

"Jared! You're being crazy. You're hot, like the sexy kind of hot not just the temperature. And you're so sweet and really great and sex with you is amazing and don't make me keep going, I feel like such an ass… What else can I say? You're way too good for me. I'm sorry I had a boyfriend before I met you. I didn't think we'd ever even talk, so it would've been a little crazy to wait for you."

"And you don't… Jeremy?" I could even get the words out, but she knew what I was going for.

"Uh, no Jared. I'm not thinking about anyone but you right now. I still can't believe you like me, it's sort of unbelievable, but I'm going to enjoy it at for as long as it last," she said coming over and settling herself on my lap. The lawn chair creaked and scrunched down to the ground with our combined weight, neither of us noticed.

"It's not going to change," I said with certainty.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Jared," she said her eyes glinted with a bit of sadness. I guessed this was the best time to say it... well as good as it was going to get.

There really wasn't an ideal time to tell your slightly crazy girlfriend that you are magically bound to her for life.

"Kim, I guess I sorta have something I need to tell you."