Naruto had woken up suddenly, sitting up in bed on Saturday morning, noting for no reason that his dreams had calmed down a lot. Something had woken him up, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Sai shifted next to him, his hand snaked around Naruto's chest. He was still asleep; whatever had woken Naruto hadn't affected Sai. He sighed softly and buried himself into Naruto's side.

A sound broke through the quiet, mingling with Sai's steady breathing. It sounded sort of familiar, but in his fuzzy tired state, Naruto didn't recognise it. Naruto strained to hear, hoping the sound would reveal itself again, hoping he wasn't just imagining it. He got this weird feeling that the sound was coming from Sasuke's room. Naruto rolled his eyes; imagining what was going on in there. He lay back down, dismissing the sound that didn't come again and settled himself to go back to sleep.

As his mind wandered on the brink of sleep, the sound – muffled, but definitely real – happened again. It was coming from Sasuke's room, but Naruto got the feeling that Sasuke was alone in there. He couldn't quite place the sound, but his curiosity took over his apprehension, and he disentangled himself from Sai.

'Hmm,' Sai mumbled, suddenly cold and a bit awake from Naruto's absence. Naruto bent over him and brushed his lips against Sai's forehead.

'Go back to sleep,' Naruto whispered, standing fully and heading over to Sasuke's room. He still wasn't sure that Sasuke was actually alone in there, but was willing to risk the embarrassment so his curiosity was satisfied. He listened at the door for a second; there were no other unusual grunts and groans which meant, thankfully, Sasuke was alone. Sasuke was making the strained groaning that had woken Naruto. The sound was so familiar …

Naruto opened the door; Sasuke was sitting on the edge of the bed, gripping it so tightly his fingers were white. His mouth gaped and he was shuddering; his eyes bore into Naruto, wide and wild.

Oh fuck.

Naruto rushed to the bed as he realised what was happening. Sasuke gasped again, panting and grabbed his chest. Tears streamed from his eyes, dripped down his cheeks and fell from his jaw. He was cold and clammy, sweat soaked his hair which clung in strands to his skin.

Naruto bent down in front of Sasuke, rubbing soothingly at his arms. Sasuke turned his wild eyes on Naruto again, barely in control. 'Shh,' Naruto soothed, knowing it was pointless. Sasuke's eyes flashed with overwhelming fear as he failed to catch a breath. 'Shh. Just breathe, Sasuke.'

Sasuke's eyes darted from Naruto and back again. He gasped again as the shaking racked his body. Water. Naruto got up to get some for him, but Sasuke grabbed his wrist, pulling Naruto back down. Naruto gently pulled Sasuke's fingers from his wrist and held onto Sasuke's own wrists instead. He locked eyes with him, hoping he would believe him.

'It's okay, I'm not going anywhere. I need to get you some water.' Sasuke dropped his hands to the bed, clenching on tightly once more as he gasped and panted. He swallowed laboriously, once the strangled moan of pain faded.

Naruto went to the kitchen. There was no water in the fridge, so he went to the cupboard and grabbed the biggest glass he could. Glass … Maybe that wasn't the best idea. The desperation started to seep into Naruto as he looked around for a plastic tumbler, or bottle or something.

'Fuck,' he muttered, unconsciously wiping his fingers through his hair. Sasuke hadn't had an attack in ages. Of course he chose now, to spiral down into that particular hell. Naruto's heart hammered in his chest. It was always so scary. Sasuke's attacks were so full on. He would never forget the time he'd found Sasuke clawing at his own head as massive gushes of blood dripped down his face. He said he was trying to get rid of the images. Said that he couldn't take the pain anymore.

And a whole bunch of other things Naruto never wanted to hear again.

He found a bottle in his satchel and gushed water into it. He then rushed back to Sasuke, who was scratching at his palms, wiping them on his thighs and then scratching at them again. A pang of frustration smacked through Naruto as Sasuke refused to drink. Naruto gave up trying to hand him in the bottle and instead sat next to him. He leaned in close; his lips brushed Sasuke's ear. 'Deep breaths, Sasuke. Come on, you know the drill.'

The problem was, the panic and the desperation was so real to Sasuke, that he always made it worse by practically hyperventilating himself on an epic scale. Naruto continued his soothing strokes. There wasn't much more he could do. He pulled Sasuke to him as his breathing finally began to slow, and the ragged gasps became steadier.

'It's okay,' Naruto whispered. 'I'm here.' Sasuke pressed his ear to Naruto's lips, desperate to hear the calming words. 'Just breathe. In. And out. It's okay.'

It took a while, but the attack finally passed. Sasuke sat hunched on the bed, head in hands, breathing deeply. He rubbed at his chest, not quite letting go of the panic yet. It had been a bad one, and once the attack had passed, it took a while longer for Sasuke to calm down completely. He finally collapsed against Naruto's arm. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to.

'Don't do that to me, you bastard,' Naruto said. 'You scare the crap out of me when you do.' He pulled Sasuke's head into his chest and … yeah … pressed his lips to the soft locks that smelled of shampoo, sweat and heat. Sasuke didn't say anything, and Naruto let him go. Sasuke pulled against him for a fleeting moment, but let go as Naruto reached for the water. Finally, Sasuke sipped at it. Small, quick sips and swallows. He squeezed the bottle in his fingers, sipped more.

Naruto slapped him on the arm and stood to head back into this own room. Crisis averted. Again. But, Sasuke pulled on his wrist. Even though Sasuke's eyes were no longer wild, the fear still shone in his dark stare. Naruto sat back down.

'That bad, huh?'

Sasuke just squeezed his wrist, unable to actually say the words.

Naruto laughed lightly and laid down next to Sasuke. 'Haven't done this for a while,' he said. 'You owe me, bro.'

Sasuke tucked his arms into his chest. There was only a slight tickle against Naruto's chest, where his forearm rested. Naruto stroked Sasuke's hair, hoping to stroke the last of the panic away in the process. After a while, as Sasuke's eyelids drooped and his slow blinking turned into moments of sleep, he squeezed Naruto's arm. "Thank you," he mouthed.

'Anytime,' Naruto whispered. 'Anytime at all.'

He pressed his lips to Sasuke's forehead. His heart pulsed, but he tried to ignore it. He was fully aware that he was lying next to him, fully aware of his body pressed gently into his side, fully aware that Sasuke wasn't pulling away, and painfully aware that his brain was screaming at him, bombarding him with all that stupid crap about liking him and finding him hopelessly attractive. Naruto screwed his eyes shut, willing his brain to shut up. Willing his body to shut up. Willing his thoughts to settle down.

This wasn't the same thing; this was Sasuke trusting Naruto as his best friend to look after him. He wasn't in bed with him, he was keeping him company after a shitty show of his anxiety. It would be a crap thing to do, to dumbly … Naruto looked to the ceiling as an overwhelming urge to find outside courage swept over him. Should he leave? Should he give in to his weakness, acknowledge that he couldn't be this close to Sasuke without doing something dumb and leave? If he tried to get up, Sasuke would just grab him again.

'Naruto?'

'Hmm?' was the strained grunt in reply.

Sasuke pulled himself closer. He was wrapped lightly around Naruto's side. A sudden irrational stab of anger sliced through Naruto. Sasuke couldn't do this! He couldn't be this close and not expect a reaction. He couldn't tease Naruto like this, after shooting him down all those weeks ago. There was no way he couldn't hear Naruto's heart hammering in his chest as he fought hopelessly against the tide of feelings boiling in him?

Sasuke turned burning eyes on Naruto. 'Don't leave me.'

Naruto's heart smashed through his chest, causing him to shake with adrenaline.

No. No.

He didn't just say that? Maybe he didn't mean it in the way Naruto took it? Maybe he just meant – but Naruto couldn't think of another meaning. His brain wouldn't let him justify that Sasuke had just been through a crap time and was feeling vulnerable and didn't want to be alone. The words repeated in his head, and each time, Naruto's mind filled in the blanks.

Sasuke's dark eyes played over Naruto's face. His lips twitched into a small brief frown before falling away. Naruto couldn't stop staring. The line of his lips teased him; he just wanted to –

Sasuke leaned up over him, his eyes still playing over his face. Naruto's heart beat painfully, causing a rising heat as he began to sweat. He didn't know what to do! What if he was mistaking Sasuke's intentions? What if he did something stupid and finally ruined their friendship for good? He didn't want to ruin their friendship because of his stupid feelings for him. The first time was a warning; he didn't think he'd get a second chance.

He closed his eyes against Sasuke's unreadable expression, wishing he'd never come in here. This was too hard! He couldn't do this! He wasn't strong enough to resist him, now that he realised how desperately in lo –

Naruto pulled Sasuke down until his ear was close to his lips. 'I'm not going anywhere.'

Sasuke shuddered and tensed against Naruto. He was so close. Naruto couldn't … stop …

Sasuke didn't pull away. He didn't move closer, but he didn't pull away, and it was like the entire world collapsed. Naruto memorised Sasuke's lips. They were rough and tasted like lemon and salt. He his lips further down, shivering as fingers twined through his hair.

Sasuke was relaxed, soft, malleable, shaping to Naruto's body. The heat radiated from Sasuke into Naruto. Naruto's mind emptied of everything as he deepened the kiss. He played with Sasuke's tongue, tasting the inside of his mouth, feeling the pressure and warmth. He pulled Sasuke closer; pulled his mouth in further, feeling him shudder, then gasp and then finally …

'Mmm,' Sasuke moaned. His tongue tangled with Naruto's again. That was the sexiest sound Naruto had ever heard. Sasuke moaned because of him. Naruto's cheeks flushed as the sound shot straight downstairs. Sasuke helplessly grappled with Naruto, pulling him closer, clawing at his back, pulling on his hips, digging his fingers into his flesh. Naruto groaned again as Sasuke's fingers dug painfully into the sensitive flesh of his butt. Instantly Sasuke flinched and a hard glint returned to his eyes. Naruto was in a haze as he barely comprehended Sasuke leaving the room.

He decided to follow him, but the bathroom door slammed in his face as he reached it. Naruto was left a mess on the other side of the door. If he wasn't careful, his heart would burst out of his chest and splat on the floor in front of him. He was sweating so hard, and … and … he fell against the door, resting his head against the cool surface. He waited for him to come out. Waited forever for him to come out, but he was stubbourn.

'Dammit, Sasuke.'

Naruto didn't know what to do. Sasuke was much more willing this time, but Naruto couldn't shake the feeling that this was not going to end well. He could say sorry? He could try to reassure Sasuke that he didn't mean to do it.

Again.

He did though. He wanted to and wished Sasuke did to. He didn't know what that was back there, but it was probably the happiest moment of Naruto's life. He repeated it in his head; Sasuke crawling up over him, staring holes through his head. "Don't leave me …" Naruto hadn't imagined it. Sasuke had actually said that. Naruto didn't ask him to. He groaned in frustration against the door.

'Sasuke … come on, man,' Naruto pleaded. 'I just …' wanted to see that you're okay. Just wanted to make sure you're still talking to me – yes, that was obvious – Naruto huffed. Sasuke was so talking to him right now. He congratulated himself on his amazing observational skills.

The emotion stung at Naruto's eyes for a moment. He managed to squash it back down though. Friends. Friends. He was starting to hate that word. But, Sasuke needed to make up his mind. Either Naruto stood a chance, or he didn't. A couple of weeks ago, there was no chance, but a minute ago, Sasuke wasn't saying no. Was this how it would be? Sasuke would run every time Naruto touched him? He tried the door, but wasn't surprised to find it locked.

'You're driving me crazy, you stupid bastard.'

Naruto didn't know if he was coming or going. Sasuke didn't like him like that, but then he said that, and he did that, and now Naruto was beyond confused. Like, did he want to make out or not? Did he actually want to? Or was he coming on that strong to mess with Naruto's mind? Why did he lock himself in the bathroom? Why didn't he just leave?

Naruto couldn't hear the shower, so he wasn't washing away Naruto's touch. He was probably just sitting on the throne like the princess he was. Naruto huffed again. He was in hell and it was threatening to swallow him whole.

'What are you doing?' Naruto whipped around instantly. Sai. 'You weren't there when I woke up.' Without thinking, Naruto balled Sai into his room and closed the door behind them. 'Naruto –'

'Yeah. Sasuke was having a –'

Sai pulled his arm out of Naruto's grip. 'Sasuke …' all the light left his eyes and his lips formed into an annoyed pout. He kissed Naruto on the cheek. 'Goodbye, Naruto.'

Sai left him in his room. Naruto thought about going after him. Everybody knows. Did that include Sai? Naruto let the crap feelings punish his mind for exactly two minutes and thirty-seven seconds. There was something about Sai that drew Naruto to him. He was weird, and strange, and different. He was shy, but didn't let that stop him. He said it how it was, and didn't really care much about other people's opinions about him. He was his own person, definitely individual, and definitely unique. In fact …

Naruto let out a snort of ironic laughter. Sai was a lot like Sasuke, difference was, he wasn't Sasuke. Naruto stepped back over to the bathroom. Sai wasn't Sasuke.

'Open the door, Sasuke.' Naruto was finally going to tell him straight, for better or worse, otherwise he was going to go insane. Whatever Sasuke said, or decided, Naruto would accept it. He would forget about him, or at least try the best he could to forget about him, and move on with his life. It was the only choice he had.

'Leave me alone.'

So, he was still in there.

'Open the door.'

'Fuck off.'

'No.'

He'd have to come out eventually. They were on the fifth floor, and Naruto was pretty sure Sasuke wouldn't be able to survive on soap and water for long. He grinned dryly at the thought. He basically only ate that anyway.

'Open the –'

The door swung open and Sasuke advanced on him. 'It was a fucking mistake you inept moron. I'm sure even your stupid brain can understand that, but I highly doubt it. I wouldn't be caught dead sleeping with you. I can't stand your stupid jokes or your stupid messing around, or your immaturity. It's embarrassing how fucking stupid you are. You are way beneath me, we're not even on the same level. You think I would settle for you? You're dumber than I thought you were. I can't even have a conversation with you without you turning it into a joke. Do you know how exhausting it is not slapping you every time you do or say something completely moronic? You are so embarrassing. You are a fucking idiotic moron, and you could never satisfy me. So get it through your head. Drop. It. Because it's not going to happen. It's hilarious that you think I would even consider a relationship with you. So, let me say it slowly so you get it. Leave me alone.'

Each word punched, kicked and slapped where it hurt. Just like everybody else. Sasuke thought he was a loser. His eyes were on the carpet; he couldn't look at him. He wouldn't look at him.

'And keep going,' Sasuke spat as Naruto stepped back.

Sasuke was worse than the others. He had pretended all this time to be Naruto's friend. He was a two-faced, lying bastard. He did care what other people thought of him. Had he ever been genuine? Or had he always choked down Naruto because he had to? Was there any point where Sasuke actually liked him at all? Looking back, he had always ridiculed and argued, and looked down on him. Always criticised Naruto for no reason, never agreed with him, always complained. Always tried to make Naruto something he wasn't.

The overwhelming reservation to clear things up with Sasuke, to apologise for once again losing control, was suddenly replaced with a blind rage Naruto couldn't, and didn't want to, control.

Next thing he knew, his knuckles were throbbing and Sasuke was on his back, rubbing his jaw.

'I might be a moron, but you're a fucking asshole.'