'Dammit, Sasuke.'

Sasuke stared at the door, frozen to the spot. The muffled voice on the other side sent a shiver through him. His lips were still tingling; his heart was still beating so fast. Naruto was on the other side, begging him to come out so they could finish what they'd just started, but Sasuke had to think about it logically.

Ruining their friendship wasn't going to happen. It always started out fine, but in the end Sasuke ruined every relationship he'd ever had. If he could call those relationships in the first place. The problem was, he wasn't very good at it. He didn't know how to be with someone, because he had been on his own, for the most part, since he was eight years old. It was old habit; independence was like breathing for him. He was comfortable by himself, forgot that other people didn't feel the same. His anxiety when he was around too many people, and the issues he seemed to have about abandonment, had grown with him over the years to the point that he'd come to the very logical conclusion that he was better off alone. He was scared by the idea of being tossed aside and forgotten. His selfishness came from being comfortable in his own company, but he forgot, a lot, that other people didn't feel that way.

There was only one that he felt comfortable with. Naruto had been a constant since childhood. Sasuke was comfortable with him, because Naruto didn't want anything from him. The expectations that others placed on Sasuke made him feel like he was drowning, made him feel like he was being suffocated to the point of hopelessness. His closest friends expected him to be strong, stoic even, in the aftermath of his parents' death. His parents had expected him to take over the family business even though Sasuke had never wanted to. Itachi resented him for being their favourite and expected Sasuke to relinquish his hold on their parents' affections. Girls expected him to be available for them. They were the ones he hated the most. He didn't like the way they thought it was okay to touch him and fawn over him. He didn't like their over-enthusiastic attention; he'd developed an unhealthy anxiousness about going to school because he never knew how other people would react to him.

He would console himself with a very select few people. People he chose to spend time with. Kakashi, for one, was one of those people. Kakashi seemed to have an understanding of Sasuke's anxiousness around other people. Maybe Kakashi felt the same? Sasuke had never asked, but he had allowed Kakashi to get closer than he was expecting.

'Come on, man,' the muffled plea came from the other side of the door.

He would hurt Naruto. That was fact. He would do something, or say something and then Naruto would leave and never forgive him. The potential scenario had happened so many times before, mostly when Sasuke couldn't handle the feeling of being smothered anymore, and then he would start the spiral of sabotage.

Kakashi had started smothering him. Kakashi didn't realise he was doing it, but he'd forgotten to give Sasuke space, and Sasuke knew exactly why. He had noticed Naruto, perhaps felt threatened by him and was marking his territory in the only way he knew how.

He had avoided admitting it for years, but Naruto meant too much to him. Naruto had been there from early on, and Sasuke liked it; he didn't feel smothered around him, but this was different. Sasuke's comfort levels around Naruto had plummeted. The day Naruto started showing signs of expectation was the day Sasuke's heart broke. It meant he didn't have anyone left that just accepted him. Now, even Naruto wanted something from him. He knew how it would end. They would never see each other again. Sasuke's anxiety would get in the way and their friendship would never be the same.

Not that he would have said anything, but Naruto was too important to lose. He had been curious about Naruto's feelings, he'd kissed him, but afterward, for all those weeks, he couldn't handle the hurt look in his eye and when Naruto had apologised, he didn't know what he was going to say to him. He'd thought that was the end of it, but he wanted to know how he felt, because he had died of shock the day Naruto had kissed him for the first time. He had never thought Naruto would feel the same and it had scared Sasuke. His comfort level had been challenged, and he had been pleased when Naruto had given him his space. But then, he started to miss him.

The fear of knowing how this would end up, with Naruto hating him and never seeing him again, was enough to choke the breath right out of Sasuke's lungs. He'd come to the logical conclusion that this couldn't go anywhere, because … he … loved …

Sasuke shook his head and gasped. He had known it for a long time; he remembered clearly like it had just happened, the moment he realised … the exact moment he'd fallen in love with Naruto. He'd come home after his parents' funeral, and he'd gone over to Naruto's home to see him. The door had been open, because Naruto had this thing about locked doors. Naruto had been the only person he'd been thinking of seeing, and he'd found him in the kitchen.

Sasuke shook his head as the memory slammed into his mind.

Naruto was at the kitchen bench wearing only slacks, no top, he was listening to music from huge black headphones, dancing and swinging to the music, tapping a pen in one hand and his chopsticks in the other on his homework like drumsticks. A half-eaten cup of ramen was sitting next to him and his face was screwed up as he silently sang the lyrics to the song he was listening to. He dipped the chopsticks into the ramen and, lifting them high above his head, twined his tongue around the noodles before dropping them into his mouth. He chewed and sang and danced on his stool, beating out the beat again with his chopsticks. Then he saw Sasuke watching him. His face snapped into surprise, mouth wide for a moment before a massive grin broke over his mouth. Naruto had instantly dropped everything, ripped the headphones off and bound across the kitchen, grabbing Sasuke and hugging him, twirling him around.

'SASUKE!' he yelled. 'Man, when the hell did you get back?'

Naruto put him down and slapped him in the arm, his grin widening still, and pulled him over to the counter, swiping his homework, pads, pens, and laptop to the floor. He sat him down and produced a can for him, knowing Sasuke didn't drink the stuff, but whatever.

'Man, I've fucking missed you, man!' He punched him in the arm again. Sasuke still couldn't speak. He was still trying to catch his breath … and …

… he'd been trying to catch his breath ever since.

'Sasuke … come on, man,' Naruto pleaded from the other side of the door. 'I just …'

Sasuke went over to the door and reached out to the cool surface. He would hurt him; it was going to happen, there was no doubt. He'd decided a long time ago, when his feelings were overwhelming him and he could barely control himself, that he was not going to hurt Naruto like that. He would rather Naruto hate him as a friend then lose him completely. So, he wasn't going to act on his feelings. He couldn't. But, when Naruto had helped him earlier, he'd forgotten about his promise.

He shouldn't have given in. He shouldn't have kissed him, but in the end, he admitted, he wanted to and he didn't care. That kiss wasn't meant to happen. He hated that he let Naruto think that this could go anywhere. But it couldn't. And they never could. Sasuke would kill him; he always sabotaged relationships and he would kill himself before he did that to Naruto too.

'You're driving me crazy, you stupid bastard,' Naruto whispered through the door. Sasuke gasped and backed up. He knew if he went out there, now that he'd so stupidly given into the stupid feelings he'd had since high school, Naruto would overwhelm him again and he would give in. So, Sasuke did the only thing he could do, what he'd been doing all these years; he'd gotten good at hurting people, but he didn't want to go that far, but he knew Naruto; he knew exactly what to say to get him to hate Sasuke.

'It was a mistake, you moron. Leave me alone.'

There was silence on the other side of the door; it lasted a long time, Sasuke nearly opened the door. Almost went out there.

'Open the door, Sasuke.'

'Fuck off.'

'No.'

Sasuke could feel the rising panic. Naruto could see through him, of course he could; Naruto was good with people. Sasuke gasped as the fear rose in him; he would destroy him, rip his heart out and he would foster a hate in him so complete, and then, ultimately, he would leave. Forever. Sasuke would never be able to see him again.

'Open the –'

Sasuke, angry that Naruto hadn't taken the hint, ripped the door open and stabbed a finger in his chest. He had to do it, or he would never see Naruto again.

'It was a fucking mistake you inept moron. I'm sure even your stupid brain can understand that, although, I highly doubt it. I wouldn't be caught dead sleeping with you. I can't stand your stupid jokes, or your stupid messing around, or your immaturity. It's embarrassing how fucking stupid you are. You are way beneath me, we're not even on the same level. You think I would settle for you? You're dumber than I thought you are. I can't even have a conversation with you without you turning it into a joke. Do you know how exhausting it is not slapping you every time you do or say something completely moronic? You are so embarrassing. You are a fucking idiotic moron, and you could never satisfy me. So get it through your head, drop it because it's not going to happen. It's hilarious that you think I would even consider a relationship with you. So, let me say it slowly so you get it. Leave me alone.'

Naruto gaped and darkness clouded his eyes. He stepped back out of shock and looked away.

'And keeping going,' Sasuke said, his heart ripping into a million pieces as the hurt and shock painted on Naruto's face. He had to clench his fists to his sides to stop himself from reaching out. Naruto turned, anger flaring in his blue eyes. He advanced on Sasuke and punched him. The pain ripped through Sasuke's face as he rubbed his jaw.

'I might be a moron, but you're a fucking asshole.'

And that was it, Naruto wouldn't look at him. He was so hurt that Sasuke couldn't bear to look at him. The pain in his jaw was nothing compared to the crushing emotion in his chest. Naruto slammed the front door behind him and Sasuke slammed his bedroom door, pissed that he'd taken it so far. Naruto wouldn't forgive him, but it was better than the hurt Sasuke would have inflicted on him if he'd let it go any further.

Naruto battered Sakura's front door, hoping he'd calmed down enough so he didn't blow up in her face. Sasuke, the fucking bastard ... Naruto shook his head and smashed his fingers through his hair, knocking again.

'Sakura! Let me in.'

'Just give me a second, will ya?' She yelled back. She opened the door a second later. 'Do you know what time it is?' She looked like she'd been sleeping, her hair was all over the place, eyes puffy and squinting.

Inside, Naruto stalked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, not really looking for anything.

Not on his level?

He slammed the fridge shut and went to the sink, then to the counter, back to the sink.

Sasuke had ... Naruto took in a sharp breath. Sakura leaned over the counter, head in her palm. She watched Naruto; obviously knowing she wasn't going to get anything out of him until he wasn't bouncing of the walls.

Naruto went back to the fridge, grabbing a drink and gulping it down.

If he thought like that, why had he ...

Naruto shook his head and gulped the rest of the drink, crushing the can in his fist.

He'd punched him ...

'Are you going to tell me what you're doing?' Sakura blinked and yawned, eyeing Naruto. 'Can you at least sit down, you're making me dizzy.'

Naruto glared at her and continued pacing. Sasuke was a prick, an unfeeling arrogant prick. Naruto had always known it, but having it directed at him just pissed him off.

'Naruto –'

'I punched Sasuke.'

Sakura gasped. 'You didn't.'

Naruto eyed her and her disbelieving look, her palm fell from her mouth as her expression hardened.

'Why?'

'Because he deserved it.'

'That's not a reason, Naruto.'

'Yeah. It is.'

Sakura patted the bench next to her and Naruto finally slumped in a stool. Sasuke was embarrassed by him? Really? Then why had the bastard stayed around so long? Naruto was pissed because he didn't know if Sasuke had been saying all that to get him to leave or if he actually believed it.

'What did he do?'

'We were ...' having a fucking amazing moment and then he ran away. Again. And then he blew up for no reason. No reason at all. Again. The fucking bastard was crazy. Sakura nodded, the light leaving her eyes while the sympathetic smile remained on her lips. 'How do you do it?'

'Do what?' but she knew what he was talking about. Naruto knew she still loved him; she'd just gotten really good at pushing it to the back of her mind and accepting the fact that he wasn't good for her. Naruto wished ... Naruto wished he was as strong as she was. She sighed and rubbed at her cheek. 'I've just been not thinking about it for so long, it's habit I guess.'

'I wish I wasn't thinking about it.'

'Naruto ...' Sakura squeezed his arm. 'He's your best friend, and whatever he did to make you lash out, I'm sure it was a mistake and he will regret it.'

'Not this time. He seemed pretty sure about what he was saying.'

'Maybe he's just confused?' Sakura shrugged and stood, putting the kettle on. 'And whatever he did was the only way he could express his confusion? I don't know, I wasn't there.'

'He called me a moron.'

'He always calls you a moron.' Sakura made drinks and handed one to Naruto. 'In fact, everyone calls you a moron.'

Naruto shook his head, trying to put his finger on the weird feeling he was having. 'He practically accused me of being bad for his public image. Since when does he give a shit what other people think? Huh? He said it would be embarrassing and I was beneath him and all this other crap. I shouldn't have punched him.' Naruto dropped his head into his hands. 'He's never going to forgive me.'

'You two fight all the time,' Sakura said. 'He'll forgive you.'

'I've never hit him before.'

'But, you have. I remember last year when –'

'I've never hit him and meant it, Sakura.' Naruto hadn't held back. He'd put month's worth of frustration, maybe year's worth, into that single punch. Sasuke had landed on the ground. Naruto had regretted it instantly, but he'd done it and couldn't take it back. Sasuke's stunned look meant he knew Naruto had meant it and that's why Sasuke wouldn't forgive him.

The fear smashed into Naruto's gut making him feeling like he was going to puke. Their friendship was over; no doubt about it. They couldn't get past this, Sasuke had finally told Naruto what he really thought about him and Naruto had punched him into the ground. Sasuke could hold grudges for a really long time, Naruto had finally given him the excuse to get away from him.

Sakura had that look on her face, the one that said "don't fucking mess with me if you want to live". Naruto reeled from the look.

'Wake up, you idiot. You obviously like him, or you wouldn't have come crying to me about the petty things he said to you. Get over it. I had to spend years listening to how annoying I was and we would never be together, and how beneath him he thought I was. I lived. He made me cry way more than I ever wanted to. I cried in front of him, he didn't care. He walked away from me. He made me feel worthless all through high school. He made me feel like I didn't exist. I grew up. I got over it. Now we talk. He confides in me. We have coffee. We grew up. Understand what I'm saying to you?'

Naruto didn't. Sakura huffed in exasperation. 'He's doing the same thing to you, you bonehead. But you're soft and can't handle it. Just grow up. Stop taking things to heart and stop thinking that you're beneath him. You're not, you know. In fact, on some level, you're head and shoulders above him. You're kind and generous and put others before yourself. You'll do anything for anyone. You have people around you who you care for and they care for you too.'

'I don't think that it will –'

She smashed him in the side of the head. 'Shut up, you idiot. This is not the Naruto I know. This is not the kid that never gives up; this is not the guy who doesn't back down from the challenge. You're giving up, I can see it.' She shook her head. 'You're not Naruto.'

'He doesn't want to see me!' Naruto exploded in frustration. 'This is Sasuke I'm dealing with here. He's not a normal challenge, Sakura. He's not like all that other stuff you're going on about, you know.'

'Are you Naruto Uzumaki or not?'

'What?'

Sakura rolled her eyes. 'You heard me.'

'Right now? That guy you're talking about is having his heart ripped out by someone he didn't even realised he loved until some stupid chick with pink hair who thinks she knows everything started putting stupid thought in his head. That guy isn't feeling all that courageous right now. He just kinda wants the world to swallow him whole right now.'

Sakura smiled and pointed a finger at Naruto, nodding.

'What?'

'You said it.'

'What? What did I say?'

Sakura rubbed his arm smugly. 'You love him.'

'He's a fucking prick. I don't fucking –'

'You. Love. Sasuke.'

All thought left Naruto's mind as he stared at his smug friend. He tried to say something, but he couldn't get his brain to even think of a thought. He shook his head and buried his face in his hands again.

'I know,' Naruto growled angrily. 'But right now I fucking hate him.'

Sakura was smiling. Grinning like a fool actually. 'Say it again.'

'I fucking hate the bastard.'

Sakura waved her hand and shook her head quickly. 'No, not that, you idiot.'

'Sakura –'

'Just do it, Naruto!'

Naruto huffed. 'I fucking love the bastard, okay. I love him. I think I've loved him for ages, but I didn't realise. It was like it snuck up on me, you know, like I didn't even know it was happening and then you, with your stupid comments,' Naruto stabbed an accusing finger at Sakura who was still grinning at him. He shrugged. 'This is all your fault. He burns me up inside, and I haven't thought of anything else since we had lunch that day. I love his voice, I love his eyes, I love how he's so -'

'Alright, alright, you're drooling, you idiot.' Sakura smiled, and looked up over Naruto's shoulder. She pulled Naruto into a half hug, kissing him on the side of the head. Naruto's heart hammered in his throat as he realised someone else was there. Oh. Fuck. No. Sakura got up, but Naruto couldn't bring himself to turn around. Sakura was gone though, and by the time Naruto was ready to turn around, she had been for about ten minutes.

Naruto pulled in a steadying breath and finally turned around. Sasuke was leaning his back against the kitchen's doorframe, arms and ankles crossed as he stared straight ahead. His jaw sported a slight purple blush. Naruto cringed.

'You heard ...' Naruto stopped as his heart threatened to choke him.

Sasuke turned his head and gave Naruto a superior disdainful glare, with a slight sarcastic nod built in. Naruto nearly collapsed against the counter in embarrassment. He would deal with Sakura, swiftly and cruelly, when he got the chance for doing this to him. Who knew how long Sasuke had been standing there for. When did he even arrive?

Sasuke stomped toward Naruto. Naruto didn't know what to do, Sasuke looked like he wanted to kill him; the glare didn't budge, the stiff arms and balled fists shot a rush of fear through Naruto. But if Sasuke punched him, he would let him, then they would be even. Naruto stood and put the counter between himself and Sasuke. Naruto prepared for the inevitable, screwing his eyes shut and turning his head away in anticipation of the pain that would soon follow.

But the pain never came.

Naruto flinched as cool hands slipped around his sides, and weight fell against his torso. He opened one of his eyes as Sasuke tightened his hold around his back and leaned his head against his chest. Naruto froze; this was unfamiliar. Nice. But unfamiliar. He didn't know what it meant. Did it mean Sasuke forgave him for punching him? Was Sasuke saying sorry for saying all that crap back there? Was he telling Naruto goodbye because he couldn't handle fighting with him anymore? Was he saying that they were better off not even as friends? Naruto inhaled and blew it out through his teeth. If he hugged him, Sasuke might run, if he didn't, he would probably take it as a sign anyway and run. Naruto debated for exactly three seconds before wrapping Sasuke up in his arms.

Naruto saw something out of the corner of his eye. Sakura smiled and looked to the ceiling in reserved relief, shaking her head slightly before disappearing again. Sasuke let go, he wouldn't look up at Naruto.

Naruto was sorry; for losing control both good and bad. About confusing him. About loving him. I don't ever want to make you uncomfortable, you know that. I'm sorry I'm such a moron, I'm sorry I didn't think back there. I'm sorry for pressuring you, I'm sorry I hate your boyfriend, I'm sorry I'm not a better person. I'm sorry I embarrass you, I'm sorry I make you angry, sad, frustrated, annoyed, and everything else.

Sasuke stepped away. Naruto was going to follow him, but he didn't. He was going to call to him, but didn't. For once, he wasn't going to chase him. After a minute, Naruto heard the front door close, but Sakura didn't come into the kitchen. His phone vibrated in his pocket, making him jump. He frowned at the message.

'I'm sorry, Naruto.'

Naruto texted back, the curiosity overtaking his fear. 'Wat 4?'

But Sasuke didn't answer. Naruto waited until morning, but he didn't answer, and he wasn't sure they were on good enough terms to talk face to face. He almost called him, pulled up his contact information, and his thumb hovered over the green phone icon for ages while his brain egged him on to do it, but in the end, he threw his phone across Sakura's living room.