Authors Note: Oh yeah also I don't own this stuff, and that applies to all chapters before and after this note. Also don't worry about the weird ass chapter names, it just makes it easier to make sure I'm uploading the right one.

Edward and Alphonse were a strange fixture in the castle, adding a small student element to the school without any actual students there. Both of the boys read almost constantly when they weren't planning the alchemy course, or sleeping. Minerva was half tempted to have the boys try the sorting hat just to sate some of her curiosity, but wasn't sure how the boys would react to the hat.

While neither of the boys particularly reacted to anything they'd seen at Hogwarts, she had personally gotten to see the boys meet ghosts for the first time while sitting in her classroom.

They had been working on pacing for a week at that point, struggling to balance the actual transmutation with the required theory of the class. Most classes benefited from the lack of knowledge behind them, allowing the children to not overthink and get the spells done. But with alchemy there was a danger to being ignorant. While rebounded spells just send the intended effect back to yourself, alchemy rebounds simply attack back at the creator with little regard to how complicated the actual transmutation started as.

The boys were bouncing back scheduling plans, both of them sitting on top of desks like the chairs were somehow undesirable, when the Grey Lady floated through the wall, right in front of Alphonse.

It turned out reading about ghosts and seeing ghosts were two completely different things, and despite his frail stature, he managed to flail his arm back hard enough to knock his brother right off the desk.

Ed hit the ground with an audible muffled clang, clutching his head with his flesh hand.

"Brother!" Al gasped, looking rather guilty until Ed popped back up off the ground, grinning.

"Nice to see you still hit harder than me," he laughed. The ghost smiled at the two boys, waving goodbye to Minerva before sliding through the wall on the other side of the room.

"I think first-year muggle-born's will have the biggest advantage in the class," Al said as his brother sat back down on the table. Minerva nodded for him to continue, "From what we could find in the library and flourish and blotts, there doesn't seem to be any knowledge of basic chemistry… but the few muggle studies books we found at least two of them had periodic tables…"

"Ancient runes students should have an advantage too… even if they're different runes they'll still have a better understanding of it…"

The boys muttered to each other for another hour, trying to figure out all the strengths and weaknesses that would affect learning skill, deciding what had to be explained in the beginning and what could be explained later on as they were physically doing transmutations. Minerva pointed out spots where the curriculum would likely have to be slowed down, or even sped up depending on the year, agreeing that first through third years would have an easier time getting the theory down while fourth and fifth years would probably gain the most technical skill.

The boys would always continue until the second Al's stomach growled or he began to yawn, and Ed would immediately stop what he was doing to help his brother get back to the hospital wing. After that she could usually find him either renovating the classroom and living quarters they'd been given on the second floor, or curled up on the floor somewhere in the library.

One day she looked out the window to find the young man chopping down trees, not with alchemy or magic, but with an axe and his own two hands.

By the time she'd gotten down the stairs and out to the edge of the forest, Hagrid had already taken up watching the boy.

"How long has he been doing that?" she asked, watching him sink the axe deep into the trunk of the tree.

"Only abou' an hour today…. I'm no' sure what he's doing with tha wood though," Hagrid answered. Ed hit the tree again with enough force that the tree was only held on by a thin splinter of wood, slicing through the last section with ease and kicking the tree so it landed in the field, landing harmlessly with a loud thud.

"Didn't Madam Pomfrey want both of you boys to take it easy?" Minerva asked as Ed panted, bangs falling into his face as he turned towards her.

"I'm just getting class materials ready… although some of it's going into the desks and chairs to fix them up a bit," Ed explained as he began hacking the long tree into smaller pieces.

"You know the house elves will help you with that if you asked?" She inquired, but Ed just shook his head.

"I'm pretty sure Lockhart's running them ragged as it is," he joked, "It's honestly a bit hard to imagine someone so lazy doing as much as he claims in his books…"

"Edward…" Minerva sighed, although she had a faint grin on her face, "you can't keep insulting your coworkers."

"If I were insulting my coworkers I'd call Snape the child of a dementor, a bat, and the grease vat in the kitchens," he joked, and Hagrid disguised a small chuckle as a cough, "I'm just saying… he doesn't really seem the type to be running around helping other people." And with that, Ed picked up two rather large sections of log, tucking them under his arms and hiking up to the castle.

"Strange boy tha' one," Hagrid grinned, "Wonder how tha' students will handle 'im."

"You mean how he'll handle the students?" Minerva questioned. Hagrid just smiled and headed back to his hut.

Minerva watched Ed and Al pass by her classroom for the fifth time, seemingly doing laps around the floor. With the help of Snape's potions Alphonse had gained weight over the last two weeks, upgrading his physique from near skeleton to slightly under-stuffed scarecrow.

Ed had mentioned that he wanted Al to be able to walk without his assistance by the start of term, although he clearly didn't overestimate his brother's recovery based on the rather decorative wooden cane hanging off the end of Al's bed in the hospital wing.

Ed himself had technically moved into their room on the second floor, although he seemed very intent on spending most of the day with his brother. The boys nearly tripped over Lockhart's extravagant robes as he passed by, using each other to rebalance themselves. They only spent a moment to look at the man annoyed before resuming back to their laps. She rolled her eyes thinking about the ridiculous man before returning to scheduling classes.

Minerva looked up from her desk several minutes later when she heard an ominous cackling from the hall. Peeves. She quickly got up from her desk, hoping to minimize whatever chaos started.

Peeves had found the Elric brothers by the time she got out, And Ed had put Al down when the poltergeist started throwing water balloons.

"Looks like we've got a little student-"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' SO SHORT HE CAN'T CATCH YOU HOVERING TWO INCHES ABOVE THE FLOOR!" Ed shouted in outrage, transmuting the floor and launching himself towards the ghost. Minerva was completely baffled by the behavior, although Alphonse didn't seem all that surprised as his brother punched the creature.

"BROTHER, HE DIDN'T SAY THAT!" Al yelled as the poltergeist flew away screaming. Even though Ed couldn't fly he took chase after the creature, running up the staircase. Minerva walked over to where Alphonse was sitting on the floor, eyebrow raised in question. "Oh, brother doesn't like people bringing up his height," Al explained, rather lacklusterly.

"I hadn't noticed," Minerva replied dryly. Alphonse laughed quietly in response.

"He is still getting taller… just… slowly," Al added, "one of the doctors we saw thought it might have to do with his arm and leg…"

Minerva frowned at the thought, she was already somewhat concerned about the limbs themselves, but the idea that they were negatively impacting the rest of his body…

"Don't tell him I told you that… he doesn't like me worrying about him…" Al requested, and she replied with a slow nod.

Ed came back about six minutes later, panting with exhaustion and annoyance. "Sorry about that Al," he sighed, helping his brother back on his feet.

"It's fine, I was getting tired anyway-"

"Why didn't you say something?" Ed shouted, quickly escorting his brother back to the hospital wing. Minerva couldn't help but chuckle at their antics.

While the boys were out visiting Hagrid for tea, Minerva made her way to the hospital wing, more specifically, Poppy's side office. The woman seemed to be making a list of things she needed restocking, Alphonse's cat curled up on the window sill.

"Oh, hello Minerva, can I help you with anything?" Poppy asked, putting down her quill.

"Not me… I was wondering if you had any opinion on Edward's… limbs-" Minerva asked, watching as Poppy's face frowned.

"I think they're utterly barbaric… I don't know of any Muggle or Wizard who could do something like that, or even want to do such a thing," she seethed somewhat quietly. "But I don't think there's much I can do… there's a chance I could regrow them… but with the injuries being so old and the surgery it would take just to get the metal ones off, including all the support built on and inside his body-" she paused at her confused look.

"The leg's not as bad as the arm, but they both must weigh at least twice as much as a normal limb. The arms bolted on in several visible places, not including that port that goes in his body… it has to be attached to several ribs at the least… I could take the whole thing off to try and regrow the limbs, but I'm not sure I'd be able to reattach the whole mechanism again if it didn't work," she explained. Minerva felt even more distressed than she had earlier.

"So just leave them be?"

"I'm sure there's something I could do, but he won't ask," she frowned. "Why were you asking anyway Minerva?"

"Alphonse mentioned that his growth was being stunted by the weight of them," She explained, and Poppy frowned more.

"I might be able to do something about that… I doubt he'd let me though," She said quietly. "If you do see him in pain though, please inform me, I know he won't come on his own."

Minerva nodded at her request, "It was good speaking to you Poppy."

"You too Minerva… Oh and if you see Lockhart-" Winry hissed in response to the name "-tell him to stop running the house elves to the ground, they're going to collapse at this rate."

Edward was nursing a bruise on his forehead the last time he came down to finish planning out his classes, with a sour look on his face.

"The librarian's back," he explained, "I scared her by accident, and she threw a book at my head. She's got damn good aim though, I'll give her that."

"Ah yes… Madam Pince is very particular about her library… she wouldn't be expecting anyone to be in there since the students don't arrive until next week."

"I feel bad for the students," Ed huffed. Minerva rolled her eyes as the boy slid over his last draft. Since it was technically a first-year course for everyone who could take it, they had still decided to divide it by year, weighing the theory and practical lessons for different periods of time based on that.

"It looks good Edward, of course there's no telling how it will go until you're actually teaching it, but for the most part, it will hold up nicely," Minerva said, and Edward beamed as she handed back the plans. "I'll have schedules done by tonight, although there will still be a small revision period for the teachers that aren't arriving until school begins."

Ed nodded as Gilderoy burst in through the doorway, "I was just about to ask about that!" He beamed, smiling just a bit too wide, "Oh hello Edward, didn't see you there."

Minerva managed to cast the silencing charm just in time, and luckily Gilderoy had left before he could see Ed silently scream at him. When he had calmed down enough, she canceled the spell.

"Thanks," he mumbled under his breath.

"I honestly don't get why Albus hired that man, he was always rather vain, even as a child."

"Wait, you taught him?" Ed asked, surprised.

"I've been teaching here for the last thirty-six years," she answered, watching Ed's eyebrows shoot up.

"No way, you've been teaching here forever!" he squeaked, and she laughed.

"I also went here as a child, Gryffindor house… although I was nearly put in Ravenclaw, the hat stalled for quite a time."

"What house was Lockhart in?" Ed asked.

"He was in Ravenclaw… although I had heard rumors that the hat nearly put him in Slytherin," She replied, "he was a good student, I don't know how much stuck with him though."

"The sorting hat… It's just enchanted right?" Ed mumbled.

"It was enchanted rather exquisitely by each of the founders yes, why?"

"I was just wondering," he backpedaled, grabbing his notes, "I should go, I think Al wanted to check out the greenhouse now that the herbology professors back."

"Have a good time."

"Thanks." She watched the boy leave her classroom, and saw him another minute later carrying his brother down the stairs. She thought about the hat for a moment before scoffing, it was an enchanted hat and nothing more.

She and Severus drank their tea at the Hufflepuff table (Since the staff table was being wiped down), watching the house elves, and Edward, clean the great hall for the feast that night. He insisted on helping, even if Minerva thought he was using it as an excuse to get a better look at the enchanted ceiling.

"Looks like the monkey child is fitting in," Severus sneered. Minerva rolled her eyes at the comment and took another sip of her tea.

"He's not that bad Severus," she said, watching Edward climb up near the rafters, tapping a candle out of his way.

"You're right, Lockhart is worse," He muttered, and she playfully smacked his shoulder. "You don't just find an Alchemy professor sleeping on a dirt path Minerva," he warned.

"You've heard nothing?" she whispered.

"Nothing at all," he added bitterly, taking another sip of tea.

"Then you should be worrying about your own classes," she said dryly as Dumbledore glided in, making his way towards them.

"Enjoying your morning?" He asked, sitting down on the opposite side. "I stopped by the hospital wing, Alphonse was asleep, but I'm not quite sure what Edward is up to." Snape pointed behind him without looking up, and Dumbledore followed the line to where Ed was currently sidling around the very edge of rafters. "Ah, there he is," he said, a twinkle in his eye.

Dumbledore poured himself a cup of tea, pausing the conversation. "Alphonse has decided to sit at one of the student tables at the feast tonight, I don't think he's particularly fond of attention." One of the house elves handed a piece of paper off to Dumbledore before returning to his work. "Ah the seating chart... thank you."

"Looks like Edward is stuck next to Lockhart," Snape added, grinning.

"We're still in hearing distance Severus," Minerva tutted back. Dumbledore looked at both of them with a sly glare.

"Not getting along well with Gilderoy, I presume?"

"From our limited encounters, no," Minerva frowned, "I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt."

"I think he's an idiot," Snape drawled. Minerva slapped him lightly again, oblivious to Edward climbing down the wall behind Dumbledore.

"Who's an idiot?" Ed asked jumping to the floor. Minerva and Snape both jumped, while Dumbledore just grinned.

"No one's an idiot, we're just discussing Professor Lockhart," Dumbledore explained, while Ed frowned skeptically.

"Are you sure he's not an idiot?" Ed asked, Severus hiding a grin behind his teacup as Ed sat down next to Dumbledore.

"He was a Ravenclaw, I'm sure he has retained some common knowledge," Dumbledore joked, "Speaking of which, I was wondering if you and your brother wanted to be sorted, it's not required, but I figured it would be fun to know."

Edward frowned for a moment, thinking, "What the hat sees is confidential, right?"

"The hat does have charms to prevent it from revealing what it's seen, yes," Dumbledore agreed, face shifting to something more neutral. "We wouldn't do it in front of the students either."

Ed thought for another moment, "I'll ask Al when he wakes up," he agreed, taking his leave.

"Hiding something," Severus muttered under his breath.

Minerva slapped him again.

As Minerva entered the great hall the tables were already quiet, staring out the windows where a loud noise had erupted from outside. Ginny Weasley was scanning Gryffindor table, where Harry Potter and Ron Weasley had seemingly never arrived. Percy Weasley had told Hagrid, who had told her when the first years arrived at the castle.

Hermione looked frazzled, sitting with Neville and the Weasley twins.

Alphonse was sitting towards the staff end of Ravenclaw table, seemingly alone with a large book on magical plants. Edward was looking straight ahead with an annoyed book on his face, seemingly trying to block out Lockhart with quiet fury. Severus had gotten out of his seat, and was inching somewhat invisibly towards the doors of the great hall.

She put the sorting hat down on the stool, and watched the student's reactions as it sang. Luckily it was another simple song, no subtle warnings about anything. Alphonse was staring intently from the Ravenclaw table, and she assumed Edward was doing the same thing from the Staff table.

Sorting began as usual, with her placing the hat on the first child's head, and the other first years looking on in curiosity.

There weren't many hatstalls, the longest belonging to Luna Lovegood, the strange pale girl who had been standing with Ginny, who in comparison barely had the hat touch her head before shouting Gryffindor. Snape had slinked back to the Staff table by the time sorting had finished, standing behind her chair, moving aside only as she neared.

"Potter and Weasley have finally deigned to arrive," he drawled, "Crashing a flying car into the Whomping Willow was certainly quite an entrance.

Minerva paled, and left to join Severus, but not before asking Edward to save her some dinner.